Work Text:
Robby should have driven out of Pittsburgh on his bike days ago, riding towards Alberta and whatever peace he hoped it might bring. Instead he is driving back towards Pittsburgh in a sensible rental in the middle of the night while Jesse sleeps in the passenger seat.
He finds himself frequently glancing over to check on his passenger, like he might disappear if he doesn't keep an eye on him, even once or twice reaching over to check his pulse. Jesse's chest rises and falls reassuringly each time.
***
When Jesse had walked out to meet him from the detention centre, still in the same scrubs he’d been wearing on his shift, Robby had noticed how cautiously he moved, so at odds with the smooth, confident way he normally moved around the ED. The right side of his face was bruised and he can see marks on his wrist where he’d been restrained.
“Some of this isn't from when they took you down in the ED, is it?”
“No, it’s not.” Jesse had shrugged, like he was trying to be casual, but the movement was stiff and looked painful. His lips were chapped and a little bloody, dark shadows sat under his eyes.
“Jesus Christ.” Robby said softly, not finding any other words at that moment.
“Guess they think there's no consequences to it.”
Robby had wanted to ask more about what had happened to him, but he knew Jesse, knew he might pull away if he pushed too hard. Instead he led him to the car.
“Not the first time I’ve been arrested, anyway.” Jesse had offered with a faint smile, as they got in the car.
“Not sure you could call what happened an arrest, actually.” Robby fired back, irritated that he would try to play the situation down, like everything just rolls off his back.
Jesse had nodded reluctantly, like admitting it made it true and he didn’t want it to be true.
***
“Where’re we going?” Jesse asks, as they’re on the edge of the city, his words slurring slightly into each other as he starts to wake up.
“The Pitt. I need to check your injuries and I think we should document them for whatever comes next.” He knows it’s not going to go down well; the man hates people making a fuss over him even more than Dana dislikes it for herself.
“Can we do it another day? I really want to go home and sleep.”
“No, we need to do this now, I’ll be as quick as I can.” He’s already given Jesse a quick once over to check there's nothing potentially life threatening or life altering going on that wasn’t immediately obvious.
“I don’t think I can handle seeing people.” He can hear in the tightness of Jesse’s voice how much he doesn’t want to have this conversation. Unfortunately for him, Robby is even more stubborn and he’s not going to let this go.
“It's going to be 3am once we get there, it will just be the night shift. I’ll make sure that we’re back out again before the day shift starts” Robby had called Jack already to set aside a room where he could take Jesse that wouldn’t draw too much attention. Admittedly he also is keen to avoid most people he’d worked with on 4th July, until he’s had some proper time away.
Jesse doesn't respond beyond a sigh and then lapses back into silence for the rest of the journey.
Robby's not sure if he goes back to sleep or not, but he doesn't say anything. He thinks he’d feel better if Jesse had argued with him for longer, the way he sometimes does when they’re together outside work.
***
Robby guides Jesse in by a back door; Jack’s already cleared out the most secluded room so they can have some privacy. Jesse’s squinting under the artificial lights of the ED like they're hurting him.
“Headache?”
He nods tightly, still not saying anything.
Robby touches Jesse’s chin and tries to direct his gaze upwards to make eye contact. When he finally does, his eyes are bloodshot, a little unfocused, not the watchful calm that Robby is used to. The right eye is half swollen shut, the dark bruising around it coming through even more than when he picked him up.
“Can you talk to me? I’m starting to get worried.” Jesse’s never been the most open or articulate about how he’s feeling, and Robby can see how he’s shut down more than usual at this point.
“Yeah, sorry.” It seems like it hurts him to unclench his jaw to speak. “Don’t really know what to say.”
“Can you tell me what is hurting right now, at least?”
“Everything?” Jesse looks, and sounds, more like himself for a moment when he says that, slightly sardonic in a way that Robby has always appreciated.
“Okay, well, I’ll give you something for the pain and we need to document your injuries before you do anything else.”
“I just really want a shower, boss, I feel like shit and I smell like shit too.” Robby’s noticed over time that when Jesse uses ‘boss’ outside of work it's usually because they're moving into a subject that makes him feel vulnerable or awkward. It gets irritating, sometimes.
“I know, but you need to do this” Robby says, watching as Jesse’s jaw tightens up again and he looks at the ground. He sighs and steps back, trying to keep his own anger in check - he’s aware enough to know that it’s more about what ICE had done to Jesse than the way he’s behaving. Knowing that doesn’t really help. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
***
Robby collects some supplies, trying to keep a low profile, but of course he can’t avoid Jack.
“How is he?” Jack is standing in the doorway, casually, hands in his pockets, like they’re discussing any other patient and not someone they’ve both worked with closely for years.
“Looks like they knocked him around a bit, I think he’s probably got a fractured cheekbone, a couple of ribs could just be bruised or maybe broken.” He can feel the anger rising almost uncontrollably as he relays the list of injuries, the ones he's been able to detect at least.
“Fucking assholes.”
“Agreed.” Robby says with a grim smile. “I’m fucking angry about it.”
“I'm getting that.” Jack replies, in an infuriatingly mild tone.
“Is this where you tell me I couldn’t have done any more than I did?” He can hear the edge in his own voice, and he’s reminded of how things went down for him on the 4th July again.
Jack shrugs, eyebrows raised in a way that seems to say draw your own conclusions. Robby takes a breath and focuses back on the task in hand. Once again this is not a conversation he wants to have - he’s realised there’s a lot of those at the moment.
“Can you let Dana know when she’s in and ask her to pick up any results that come back? He’s a bit out of it, so I'm going to clean him up and take him home before day shift gets here, I don’t think it will do much for morale to see him like this.” He glances over to see that Jack is nodding along with what he’s saying.
“Their morale or his?” Jack questions with a tilt of his head. Robby gives a soft snort of laughter, even though there’s nothing funny about any of this.
“Both.”
***
Jesse is quiet and unexpectedly pliant as Robby begins the process of identifying and documenting his injuries. It's not the first time he’s checked Jesse for injuries sustained while working in the ED but this feels infinitely worse than all the others.
The nurse follows each instruction like he's sleep walking, which might be close to the truth with how tired he looks, almost swaying on his feet.
Robby has to help him get his scrubs top off as his shoulders are too painful and stiff to do it himself. He tries to stay detached as he takes photos and makes some notes on Jesse’s chart, but there’s a mixture of sadness and anger still bubbling under the surface.
A black eye and what he suspects is a fracture below the outer corner of his right eye.
Bruising on his ribs, on the left side.
Bruising around his hip bone, also on the left side.
Ligature marks on his wrists.
His shoulders are troubling him, more likely from his arms being fastened behind his back for a long time than a more acute injury.
Definitely dehydrated, sleep deprived, hungry. His pulse is still pretty high.
“Okay, I think you need a CT to check for a facial fracture and the same for your ribs.” Robby says as he finishes sending through some orders.
“Now?” Jesse asks, his voice is quiet and despairing.
“We can come back tomorrow for that, I want to run some blood tests though, before we go.”
***
Once the tests have been sent off, Robby guides Jesse to the staff showers. He gets him to sit down in the shower chair and helps him wash his body and hair. He can't lift his arms overhead particularly well.
When they're done, Jesse changes into a mixture of clothing that had been in his locker and a few things Robby had bought of his own. They’re of a similar height but Jesse is slimmer so his clothes are looser on him. Under other circumstances he might enjoy seeing Jesse in his clothing.
“Thanks.” Jesse says softly, it’s the first time he’s spoken in a while, and his voice rasps as he does it.
“You don’t need to thank me.”
“Yeah I do.” A moment later he looks past Robby to the mirror in the bathroom, perhaps seeing himself properly for the first time in a while. “I look like shit.” He tries to do something with his hair but he can’t really keep his hand up for long enough to make much of a difference.
“Don’t worry, you’re still very handsome.”
That wins him a smile, the most he’s seen from Jesse in the last few hours. He has a way of smiling when he genuinely means it, usually only with his patients and certain people, that Robby can’t help but be enamoured by.
“Let’s get you home.” Robby says, a hand on the small of his back to guide him out of the room.
***
“What happened to your sabbatical?” Jesse asks, after Robby drives him to his apartment and helps him get ready for bed, like he suddenly remembers what was going on before he was detained.
“I postponed it a few days to tie up some loose ends, I'm still going to do it.” Robby tries to put some conviction behind the words. The thought of leaving Jesse like this feels too much to contemplate right now.
Jesse nods, looking a little unconvinced. “I was worried about you, the way you were acting.”
“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine, in time.” Robby murmurs, as he reaches out to gently run his thumb across Jesse's cheek. “Get some rest.”
Jesse's hand closes around his wrist, and he looks impossibly vulnerable; Robby knows how hard this is for him. “Can you stay?”
***
After he’s got ready for bed, Robby slots himself in behind Jesse, slipping an arm around his waist and pulling the other man’s back tight against his chest.In the quiet that follows, he tells himself that he is definitely going to start his trip this week, once he’s made sure Jesse gets those scans.
He strokes a hand through Jesse’s curls, still a little damp from the shower, and assumes he’s asleep when he doesn’t stir, and so he dares to whisper ‘I’m sorry’ into the darkness of the room. A moment later Jesse turns towards him and presses his face into his neck with a quiet shuddering sob.