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The bar is bathed in dim orange light. It feels so surreal, almost like a dream. Everything is a dream whenever I’m around Alastor, though. The way his laugh rings out at my horrible jokes and the way he grins as I talk. My heart feels like it’s about to burst as I crack another joke and he snickers softly.
“Where do you come up with such jokes, picture box?” Alastor asks in that smooth radio voice that has me floating. I could listen to him talk for hours. It doesn’t matter what it is about. Being in his presence just makes me feel better. “I practice them. Thoroughly… In a mirror,” I admit sheepishly, which earns an amused hum from him, which still fulfills the part of my brain that needs his acceptance and praise.
“Well, your hard work paid off,” He praises again, and I feel my stomach flip slightly. I watch his fingers trace along the smooth rim of the glass before he lifts it to his lips. He must be sent from Heaven. Alastor could be lying to me about his past, and he was sent here to be with me. That would be my own personal Heaven. That, on top of us being partners one day. I feel the tightness in my throat at the thought. Anxiety is crushing down any hope of me asking him tonight.
I brush it off, though. I don’t need to ask him tonight. Good things come to those who wait, right? I can be patient with him and persevere. “Thanks,” I manage to squeeze out before taking a sip of my own drink. The whiskey burns at my throat and does nothing to ease my worries. The worst he could truly say to me is no. Tonight is not the night, though. I look over at Alastor to see his gaze on me. My heart flutters as my eyes meet his, and he gives me a small smile.
The dark red reminds me of an expensive wine. “Your eyes are gorgeous, by the way,” I point out awkwardly before ending it with a small laugh. I feel like an idiot by the end of it. His small chuckle eases my worries just a bit, though. “You are such a charmer, Vinny. No wonder you are so popular with everyone you meet,” Alastor shoots back, which has my gills puffing up just to compensate for the heat that rushes through my body at the compliment.
I try my hardest not to blush stupidly like a schoolgirl. Pull yourself together! A grown man shouldn’t be so flustered by being called a charmer. I take another swig of my whiskey and cough as it scorches my throat again. I feel my eyes water from the embarrassment of not being able to handle it, but Alastor finds it rather amusing by the sound of it. “Try not to choke on your drink, dear. I’d like still to have a friend by the end of the night,” Alastor croons with a grin.
Friend. That’s all I feel like I’ll ever be. Just a friend to him. That can change, obviously, and I’d like it to change. Some change would be good for me. “Yes, sir,” I snicker softly before finally finishing my drink off and paying my tab. I then proceed to pay his portion out of habit. I watch him finish off his own drink before getting out of his seat. “Y’know Vin. Maybe we could watch one of those movies you keep bringing up,” Alastor offers as I get up as well.
I’ve brought up lots of movies to him. Sharknado, Jaws, The Meg, The Shallows… Basically, every shark movie I can think of. Some of them feel wrong in my head, though. Why does that feel so wrong to me? The feeling passes as Alastor tilts his head at me, and I give him a small nod. “Sure. We can watch something like Jaws,” I offer, and he nods in agreement. We exit the bar and start walking down the street slowly. The previous feelings are still there, but less intense. What felt so wrong? I fidget with my hands a little as I think things over. Nothing has been going wrong tonight. Why am I feeling this way?
We make it back to my apartment in record time, and I open the door for him. A sense of pride lights in my chest at seeing my usual decorations. The brown and blues complement each other so well. I head to my living room with him and start setting up the movie. I grab the disc and pop it into the DVD player hooked up to the TV. I hum a small tune and sit down on the couch next to Alastor. I flinch when he tucks himself right into my side like I’m his mother. My face flushes slightly in surprise, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it.
I find it odd to say the least. Isn’t he usually avoiding my touch like the plague? My gills puff up a bit to compensate for the warmth against me. “Turn on the movie, dear. We don’t have all night,” Alastor hums from his position. I fidget for a moment before finally clicking the remote and letting the movie play. The lack of ads before the movie confuses me a little, but I brush it off. “Care to indulge me in some facts?” He asks softly, and I have to think for a moment. Facts. Alright, I can do that easily. I click my tongue as I think for just a bit more before starting.
“The animatronic shark was named after the director's lawyer, Bruce. This was just a small reputation jab, though,” I start while also thinking ahead about what I’m going to say. “What I think was really bad about the whole thing, though, is that when Spielberg was talking about it… He kinda talked down on it. The movie was released in…” I continue before pausing. The movie was released in 1975. How are we watching this right now? I stare at the screen at the familiar movie before glancing down at Alastor. His eyes flick up to me, and he gives me a small smile.
“Something wrong, old pal?” He asks almost mockingly. This isn’t real. I’m dreaming. He never called me old pal back then. Back then… Shit.
I wake up with a jolt and look around the room a little. I’m awake. I glance at the space beside me to see it taken up by Valentino. I huff softly as I push his plush wings off my lap and get out of the bed. I shiver slightly from the cool atmosphere of my barren apartment. My neck aches slightly as I enter the kitchen and grab a glass from the cabinet. The sound of the faucet breaks the sterile silence as I fill up the cup. I flinch as I feel a pair of hands grabbing me from behind.
“Shit! Val, what the fuck?” I snap and turn my head to see a very tired moth. He lets out a small squeak of annoyance before wrapping his arms around my torso. Valentino buries his face into my neck, and I huff softly. What is wrong with me? I should be pleased by this. This is the type of relationship I want. The relationship I need. “Bad dream, mi corazon?” He coos softly to me as he watches me turn off the sink. It was a good dream, really. My mind messed it up. It poked holes into my brain's little plot of my dream before just wrecking it. I place a hand over Valentino’s arm and sigh tiredly.
“Yeah. Bad dream,” I echo and close my eyes as I lean back against him. These softer moments with Valentino make my heart ache. I do love him. It’s hard to deal with these things when I’m yearning for another man. I despise every emotion I feel towards Alastor. Why won’t he just let me be happy? “Was it the one where everyone leaves?” Valentino asks, tracing his lower left hand across my gills. I know which one he is talking about, unfortunately. Why do I have to tell him everything? “Yeah. That one,” I emphasise the last letter of “that” with a click of my tongue.
“Oh, Voxxie…” Valentino pouts, and it makes me feel a bit guilty. I lied to him, and now he feels bad because of it. I wish I were more heartless. It would make it easier to be an asshole to him. I let him turn me around with no protest, and I take a sip of my water as Valentino cups my screen. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither is Velvette. We will always be there for you,” He promises, and that makes me smile softly. What did I do to deserve this? Sure, we have our moments, but times like this make me realize how lucky I am to have Valentino. I finish off my glass of water before letting him pull me into another hug.
I huff softly as he wraps his wings around me and cocoons us that way. “You do stupid shit, but we are in this together,” He assures me while messing with my antennas. They make small boinging noises as he flicks them about. If I had a tail, it would be wagging. I should really invest in that. “Even though you tried to blow up all of Hell and Heaven,” He teases softly, and I grumble a little. It brings Alastor back into my mind, and that bothers me more. The way he glared at me that day… That hurt. It didn’t hurt as much as Valentino tearing off my head, though. My neck aches lightly from the thought of it.
“Let’s get you back to bed,” He sighs softly before scooping me up like a child. I wrap my legs around his waist and rest my head against his shoulder. I would yell at him any other time. I don’t enjoy being carried too much if I’m being honest. I need it right now, though. I need to be babied to some extent. “Poor little Voxxie. I’m here, mi cariño,” He continues to comfort me as he pushes open the bedroom door. I grunt softly as my back hits the soft memory foam mattress before Valentino rests beside me. I huff softly as he pulls me close to him and presses a few kisses against the top of my casing.
“You just relax. I’m right here,” He repeats and twirls one of my antennas. I feel myself relaxing against him as my eyes flutter closed. I’ve been wanting Alastor for so long despite having what I need right here. It’s a strange feeling of contentment. I drag my hands up his back gently before keeping them wrapped around his upper torso. “What would I do without you?” I ask softly, and I hear Valentino’s amused chuckle. I feel the small vibration from his chest, and it’s actually quite comforting. “Perish, most likely. Any other fool would’ve left by now,” He snickers softly, and I notice his voice sounds a bit distant.
Everything starts to feel a bit muffled and fuzzy as I start drifting back to sleep. I hope I can just find peace in this life. I want to find peace with Valentino and Velvette. I’m satisfied with where I am and how my life is going. I’m at the top of my game still. I’m in my prime. No one can truly stop that. Not even Alastor.