Work Text:
your heart swells.
"i like you."
it's much more than like, and you know it.
"i like you."
you think as you listen to Seible's melodious laugh, so infectious it has everyone cracking a smile. the way he tilts to the side and his eyes turn to crescents, similar to the ones in his signature designs. he would just start ijboling and it would infect you within seconds. to hear him be so happy made you just as happy, if not more so. you would lovingly watch his model sway side to side (he could never stay still for more than a moment, you observed fondly), thankful your own model didn't properly convey the lovesick expression on your face.
"i like you."
you think randomly whenever you're in a deep conversation with the promoter over VC. he could simply be telling you how his day went, or how his stream went if he streamed that day. you are so content with just listening him, to the point you picked up on his speech mannerisms. how he would draw out some of his words and drop his voice a bit to demonstrate seriousness; "whaaat? Seinyan, i would never do no such thing…" only to giggle a few seconds later. the twang in his voice whenever he sang. when he enunciated syllables in his sentences, like the "s" in a word (you noticed this in his cover of One Last Kiss, and this you found incredibly endearing).
you are in love. you know it. how could you not love such a bubbly, down to earth, sweet, respectful, humble, responsible, flirtatious…ahem. such a chill guy?
he was always a topic when you chatted with your viewers. you always referenced him, like his "this is not a safe space, this is a safe-ISH space". or his "that's craaaazy" or his "get 'em!" or snicker at the word "balls". you seemed to know quite a bit about Seible. even the Seinyans noticed and nominated you as Seinyan president. much to your embarrassment, because the brunette was aware and made certain to tease you about it here and there. you just really admire him, okay?! god forbid…
and then. you were able to do an off collab with Seible. panicking is an understatement. you could no longer think nor breathe. you couldn't even sleep the night prior due to nervousness and excitement. never had you been so eager to hop on a train before. you were also extremely glad you moved to Japan from the States, so you could be closer to all your wonderful senpai. you constantly checked your appearance, praying to whoever was listening that you didn't look like a chud.
but also also you had to remind yourself that this was a co worker! you could not be this nervous around someone you're working with. but when you were met with those bright eyes and tilted upward smile, you knew you were gone. it was over.
you were falling hard.
you tried to hide it, compartmentalize these developing feelings. shoving them in a box, throwing chains around them, locking it, and tossing the key. but they somehow snaked out anyway, its roots branching out into your little heart. you couldn't control your body's reactions to him when he was near. you couldn't pull away. you didn't want to.
you began to critisize yourself for every little thing. you kept singing the same line of a cover over and over again. pushed yourself for longer streams. stared at yourself in the mirror for hours, trying to see what Seible sees when he looks at you. just a kouhai, a co worker, a stranger, a friend…or something more? he has always been strange and random, and not knowing what he thought about you behind those bangs comforted you and frightened you.
this silent love--you claimed you would be okay with keeping--was eating you alive. bottling it up was no good. but who could really blame you? rejection was awful, and so much was at stake. a friendship so genuine and true. it could be gone in one poorly said sentence.
"i like you."
ridiculous. you are ridiculous. this damned heart of yours too.
so you finally confessed to him under a blooming tree. hope spreading through your bones as you gazed at him, heart pounding in your ears. face so hot it could melt ice. hands somehow clammy and sweaty at the same time? a true feat. you rehearsed the speech in your head the entire time, using the "hangout" idea as a cover and time to lock in.
a whole speech. the draft was three pages long. you were able to cut it to two.
and yet, all you could say was when you opened your dumb mouth:
"i like you." eyes forward. ears pink. fists clenched.
silence.
your heart began to sink.
you looked at him finally.
he wasn't looking at you, but away.
your heart fell to your toes.
you were wrong, weren't you…?
your mind was unnaturally silent. until it suddenly burst into panic. you said not a word. you got up. and ran away. to where? you didn't know. you just wanted to get away. you sprinted through the streets, crying filling your eyes before they spilled over. a choked cry. your skin went cold.
he didn't like you. didn't love you.
but you swore, the signs were there! shared gazes a bit too long. fingers brushing often. his voice would soften around you. he would protect you in games and always made sure you were included. hey, maybe you got too delusional and mistakened love rather than friendship. what an idiot you were!
and wow, what timing! you felt it in the air, when the back of your neck felt so damp and how there was no breeze. suddenly, it's pouring. what timing! make up running down your face in rivulets, outfit crinkled and clinging to you like a second skin. running towards wherever. you must've looked like a freak.
you finally stopped in a middle of what appears to be a park. the path softened under your footing and the soft rain. you heaved for breath, deciding to plop yourself down onto the wooden bench beside you. the lamposts glow faintly, in time with your heartbeat. you had let the rain carve paths down your face.
but the thing was…the rain was warm. it wasn't cold as usual. you blinked away the water (perhaps not only water) clustered onto your eyelashes and peered up at the sky. its rain drops traced your cheeks, almost in a comforting caress. you closed your eyes, breathing in the earthy wet smell and listening to the plip plop of rain hitting the ground.
focused on your senses rather than your emotions for the time being, you begun to feel yourself calm done. it wasn't the end of the world. yeah, maybe you just ruined something precious between you and the promoter. doesn't mean it can't be fixed! maybeit can be fixed by you quitting the company and--
a pair of shiny shoes spawned before you. you hadn't realized your head dropped, face towards the floor and eyes staring into the unknown. you dragged your eyes up slowly, up the white dress pants and black dress shirt and collar and…
"Seible?" you murmured, eyebrows drawn together.
he breathed heavily, eyes fixed on yours. "why did you run?"
you quickly avoided his gaze. "i put you in a difficult position. it wasn't fair to you. and i probably just…screwed what we had up because i got selfish." you watched a drop wind down your wrist.
"what?! no, you could never!" Seible exclaimed sharply, startling you. you gazed up at him with wide eyes. "i looked away because…"
a gloved hand climbed the air to his mouth as he attempted to silence his nervous giggles. a bright flush spread across his features, eye darting from yours a second out of shyness. he pushed his bangs away from obstructing his view of you in the rain.
"i was so happy to hear it in real life instead of in my dreams. because i really like you!"
he bent himself down, arms slithering around to embrace you. you could feel his skin through his soaked clothes, bringing heat to your face. no doubt he could feel yours. you hid your face in his shoulder, hardly believing what was happening. it took a minute before it clicked in.
"you like me?" voice so small. "back? this isn't a dream?"
"yes, i like you back." Seible pulled away a few inches, brushing your hair back from being plastered across your face. his soft puffs fanned your face. "no, this isn't a dream. and I'll show you." a wink.
all your anxiety and impending depression vanished due to those words alone. your body relaxed without you realizing it was so taut. you closed your eyes briefly, before they shot open at the sensation of someone cupping your cheeks. your lips parted a moment, breath stolen away from his unwavering gaze on yours. you could notice the purple specks in his irises, and how they sparkled like stars in the night sky. his lips were pink and nicely shaped, clearly taken care of well. his skin shone with the water, dribbling down his face, over his lips and down his neck to travel under his open collar. his tie is now uncharacteristically messy, and his collar bones are in sight. you swallowed, eyes fluttering.
"eyes up here, sweetheart," Seible whispered, canting his face towards you. you stayed still, eyes wide. he studied your features carefully. "may i kiss you?"
you opened your mouth to reply but whatever came out of it was a garbled mess. you opted to nod rapidly after a quick brain circuit fizzed out. your heart shook in your chest. it was finally happening, after all these years of pining and supporting and caring and admiring and--
soft against yours. light. giving you the opportunity to pull away. Seible's lips trembled a bit, perhaps from nervousness. your heart pitter pattered in your chest from his shyness, and you had to assure him you wanted this. you deepened the kiss, slotting your mouth against his perfectly. it was like two puzzle pieces that finally found each other after so much time. your arms found their home around his neck, bringing him down slightly to your level.
both separated, but not too far. one taste was enough to get you hooked forever. you batted your eyes at him under the now drizzle of rain, the warmth enveloping you two. Seible smiled so wide, you could see his puppy ears and tail pop up.
"can we do that again?" Seible asked, rubbing his nose against yours.
you giggled at the tickling sensation. "you don't even have to ask."
another shared kiss, under the warmth of the rain.
"i love you."
his eyes turned to crescents. "i love you too. ever since i met you."
you blushed, turning to the side. secretly, you thanked the rain.
because rain is best when warm.