Archive of Our Own

Five years. That’s how much of Hyunjin’s life had been thrown away into a marriage that was never going to last. He’d met Jisoo in university, and they’d jumped too fast at the societal pressures of getting a good job, getting married, and having kids. 

Jisoo had landed a job as a nurse, and Hyunjin was able to find a fairly high-paying job in IT. Their wedding had been big and flashy, and both of their families were overjoyed for them. But if he could go back in time, he would have taken back his proposal in an instant. He simply wasn’t ready, and it was never going to work between Jisoo and him. He was introverted, she was extroverted. To the point that she made him feel bad for it constantly. 

He didn’t want kids much at all, she did. So they had Jeongin, and he was and continues to be a main source of purpose and happiness for Hyunjin. The four year old is bright and bubbly, silly and sweet. And Hyunjin, who hadn’t even wanted kids to begin with, ended up the sole parental guardian for him. Jisoo sees him every now and then, when she’s back in Korea. She quit her job a month after the divorce, got a job as a flight attendant, and now she is barely even on their side of the globe. 

Hyunjin sighs, placing the plate of food in front of Jeongin at their dinner table. Jajangmyeon, kimchi, and rice. Jeongin’s favorite. His son’s face lights up and his tiny hands tap the table in anticipation. 

“Thanks daddy!” His tiny voice just fills Hyunjin’s heart. Even after a long stressful week of working full time while being a single parent, he loves coming home to his kid.

“How was your park date with grandma this afternoon?” Hyunjin smiles, fixing his own plate before sitting with his son. 

Jeongin swings his little feet in his chair. “We had so much fun, dad! Grandma even got me ice cream at the store!” 

“Did she, now?” Hyunjin sighs, but can’t fight his smile from forming. “I’ll have to remind grandma about the ‘no sweets past three’ rule.” 

“But daaaaad!” Jeongin whines. “I’ve been good all week, and good kids deserve good treats. That’s what grandma said.” 

Hyunjin rests his head in his hand, listening to his son’s recount of his day with his grandma. Regardless of the rules she breaks, Hyunjin is relieved his mother helps as much as she does. Childcare isn’t cheap, even though he makes more than enough money. He just feels better having Jeongin with someone he trusts most days. She watches him Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And today is finally Friday. 

Jeongin is just so happy, telling his dad about the friends he played with at the park. They also stopped by the pharmacy to get grandpa’s medication. And on the way home, a woman let him pet her little puppy! 

He wishes he could feel that sense of happiness once more, the innocence and weightlessness of being a child. Unaware of the cruelty of the world, and not yet a slave to the time clock of those above them. While he hadn’t been truly happy with Jisoo, he was happier than this. His days now seemed to blend, one into the next. A monotonous routine that felt doom-inducing if he thought too much about if this would really be the rest of his life. He already has no time to himself, beyond his commute to and from work. 

His phone lights up, his mother’s smiling face in a photo with Jeongin appearing on the screen. 

“Oh, speaking of grandma, she’s calling!” Hyunjin feigns excitement, answering the call and putting her on speaker.

“Grandma! Grandma!” Jeongin cheers, practically bouncing in his chair. 

“Oh why hello my little minion,” Hyunjin’s mother coos into the phone. “I hope your father is feeding you a delicious dinner?”

“My favorite! Jajangmyeon! It’s soooo yummy!” 

“Ooo that does sound delicious. Innie, I was calling to ask your dad about joining me at church on Sunday, actually! How does that sound? They even have a new youth pastor that leads the kiddos so you can go have fun!” 

“Mom…” Hyunjin starts, not sure how he feels about religion and going to church. They weren’t religious when he was growing up, but ever since his father fell sick, his mother has been finding comfort in a small, local church she found. Besides, he already has such a packed weekend, with Jeongin’s fifth birthday approaching and getting him enrolled in school for the fall. And Sundays are his day to sleep in, anyhow. 

“Hush, Hyun. I’m asking my little guy, not you.” His mother snaps, lovingly of course. 

“I want to go to the church!” Jeongin hollers happily. “Dad, what’s church? Is it like the park?” 

Hyunjin snorts into the hand holding his fork. Jeongin never fails to amuse him. He lets his mother answer that question.

“It’s where we go when we’re feeling a little lost, sweet boy. I really think your dad should come with me, at least one time. And if you both hate it, you can go to the park instead.” 

Jeongin’s eyes are round and curious, looking at his father now. “Is daddy lost? But he’s right here, eating dinner!” 

“Not lost in that way, baby. Lost in his head!” 

Jeongin tilts his head to the side, not quite understanding. Then he shrugs, and continues eating his noodles. “If there are games, I want to go!” 

Hyunjin sighs again, stuffing his own noodles into his mouth. 

“Well, Hyunjin? Will you and Innie join me Sunday morning?” His mother sounds hopeful, and he’s internally kicking himself. He would be an absolute dick to say no, after all she does for them. 

“Fine,” Hyunjin groans in defeat. “But if we don’t like it, we’re ditching for the park!” 

Jeongin giggles loudly, clapping his hands. “Yeah, we’re ditching for the park!” 

Jeongin is a chronic repeater these days, a normal feat of a four year old. Hyunjin has to make sure he’s aware of what he’s saying at all times around his son any more. 

Hyunjin and Jeongin wash the dishes when they’re done eating, with Jeongin standing on his blue and purple hippo-themed stool to reach the sink. Hyunjin dots his little nose with some soap suds, and they giggle together. He wouldn’t trade his life with his son for anything, he loves him so much. He just wishes sometimes (read: all the time) that he wasn’t in this alone. 

He reads Jeongin his favorite bedtime story after his bath, sighing deeply in relief when the boy’s breathing evens out and his eyes are permanently shut. Hyunjin leans over, smacking a wet kiss to his forehead and whispering goodnight. 

Now, this is the only other time Hyunjin has to himself. Long after the sun has set, with Jeongin tucked away in bed. It’s too quiet and it’s too easy to feel the loneliness; the subsequent sadness that comes with it. He tosses his exhausted body onto the living room couch, flipping on the television to whatever channel. He won’t watch it, it’s solely for the noise. 

He unlocks his phone to begin the nightly doomscroll. He has a text message from his mother for the details of Sunday morning. Church service begins at ten, which is much later than he was assuming it would be. Maybe it won’t be so bad afterall. His mom claims the new youth pastor, Lee Yongbok, is simply amazing with the kids. She thinks Jeongin will love him. 

Hyunjin thinks Yongbok is a rather silly name, not knowing a single other person with such an outdated name. Is the guy old? She had said he was from Australia. Maybe he is just white, and unknowingly chose a ridiculous Korean name. 

A notification pings on the screen from the dating app that Seungmin and Changbin had forced him to download. It’s a gay dating app, a new-ish one, and he feels incredibly ridiculous being on it. Taking “selfies” for his profile was humiliating enough. After his divorce, Hyunjin has embraced that he is bisexual. He has nothing to lose now, and he wants to explore all angles of a potential future partner. Afterall, Seungmin met Changbin through this very app six months ago, and they seem so happy together. Hyunjin wants that. Fuck does he want that. They had even recently moved in together. 

He’d been mindlessly swiping through profiles the night before, left to his own devices in his bed late at night. Sad, lonely, and so fucking horny. Sure, he could just go find a guy or a girl to fuck and get it out if his system, but he knows he’d be even sadder doing such a thing. He believes in love at the end of the day, even if he was unable to find it with his son’s mother. 

The notification lets him know he has a new match, and he mindnumbingly clicks on the banner. 

Lee Felix

29 | Gay | Looking for something serious 

God is good 🙏🏻 

Runner 🏃‍♂️

Korean-Australian 

I work with kids, so it’s no shame if you have one (or multiple) 😊

Ah, right. The absolutely unreal blonde he came across the night before. The one that instantly had him thinking impure thoughts, tossing his phone aside, and fucking his fist until he came. And what is it with all of the damn Australians lately? Even Changbin had met one— Christopher, he thinks it was— at the gym recently. Hyunjin shrugs, swiping through the photos on Felix’s profile. 

The first one is a mirror selfie, with his blonde hair a little damp. He has on a plain white t-shirt, and he looks so much younger than twenty-nine. He’s only two years younger than Hyunjin, and Hyunjin feels like the grey hairs streaking through his black hair speak for themselves. 

The next photo seems to be on an airplane, and Felix’s hair is much lighter. It’s practically white. His long hair is swept out of his face, pushed back. He’s wearing a simple black t-shirt. Hyunjin thinks he looks kind of tired. 

For the third photo, Hyunjin isn’t sure where it was taken. Somewhere tropical, by the placement of palm trees in the background. Maybe it’s Jeju, maybe it’s Sydney. Hyunjin is pretty sure it’s the ocean in the background, and the blonde is standing on a paved plaza. Felix’s eyes are shut, and his hair is blowing into his face a little, but his smile is cozy and so genuine. He’s wearing a simple white t-shirt again, with a small, black over-the-shoulder bag strung across his chest. Hyunjin thinks he looks like a fucking angel. 

The fourth photo steals the breath out of his lungs, a sucker punch to the gut. He didn’t make it to the fourth photo the night before. Felix is outside, in a black zip-up turtleneck sweatshirt. He’s barefaced, freckles on full display, and long blonde hair a windswept mess. Hyunjin simply can’t believe that he matched with this guy. Felix is a million levels out of his league. 

A message pings to the app’s inbox then, and Hyunjin clicks on it. He pales when he sees that it’s from Felix. 

Felix now

Hi Hyunjin 😊

It’s nice to meet you! 

You’re really handsome btw

He panics, not knowing what to even reply back. He hasn’t dated anyone in almost six years now, and his track record before Jisoo wasn’t extensive anyhow. And, fuck, Felix is calling him handsome? 

Hyunjin now

Wow, hi back 😅

It’s nice to meet you too, Felix. 

But you don’t have to lie to me! 

Felix now

I’m not lying, Hyunjin!

Afterall that is a sin 😉

& I don’t sin!!

Uhm… I know this might seem forward but

You’re like, really handsome, and…

Would you want to meet for coffee sometime soon?

Hyunjin now 

So you’re telling me you’re a perfect little angel? 

I’d love to meet for coffee, but…

It says you don’t mind kids, so I hope this doesn’t ruin anything.

I have a four year old son. Well, soon to be five. 

Felix now

Oh! That doesn’t ruin anything at all!

I love kiddos so much.

I work with kids for my job, so it’s fine!

We could, uhm… grab coffee and go to a park?

If you’re okay with him meeting me, that is.

Hyunjin now

Oh no, don’t say that too loudly

He might wake up and beg to go to the park at 11:54pm 🤣

I think I would be okay with it.

If you end up hating me, and we never speak again

I’ll just tell him you were a coworker that quit or something, lol. 

Felix now

I highly doubt I would ever hate you, Hyunjin.

I don’t think I’m capable of hating anyone 🤭

When are you free next?

Hyunjin now

Well. Not tomorrow, sadly. 

I still have too much to do for Jeongin’s birthday. 

And my mom is forcing me to go to church with her on Sunday. 

But maybe I could try to take a day off next week? 

I don’t want that to sound weird or anything… 

But you seem really nice and I want to meet you. 😖

Felix now

Church is fun hehe

Don’t sound so sad about it!

Hyunjin now 

It’s not really… anything to do with church. 

I’m just so busy, and it’s stressful trying to cram my entire life into the weekend. 

But my mom helps with Jeongin a lot, so we’ll go for her.

Felix now

I hear that & I’m sorry you’re stressed 😞

I wish I could be there to help somehow!

I’m assuming you’re a single parent?

Well, I mean. You better be. 🤨

Cheating is a sin too!

The laugh that comes out of Hyunjin’s mouth at the message is genuine yet foreign. Something he has almost forgotten the feeling of. Felix seems sweet, different, and intriguing.

Hyunjin now

Divorced, yes. 

She’s not in the picture much.

Quit her job to be a flight attendant 😒

But at least she tries to see Jeongin when she’s in town. 

Hopefully she can be at his birthday!

Felix now

You can tell me if I’m overstepping, but…

She sounds kind of…

Like…

(a bitch)

☹️☹️

Hyunjin now

It’s not overstepping, don’t worry. 

Of course, she’s the mother of my kid.

But… I do wish she was around more.

Single parenting isn’t for the weak. 😞

It’s exhausting most days. 

Sorry for, like… dumping this all on you! 

Felix now

No, please don’t apologize!

If it helps for me to listen, I want to.

He felt his body warm at the words, his heartbeat kicking a little faster. He’d forgotten what it was like to feel even remotely important to someone that wasn’t his child. Someone actually choosing to listen to his problems, not being paid to like his therapist. 

Hyunjin now

Well, you’re very kind 😊

Could we exchange numbers? 

That way I can send you the park we typically go to. 

You can choose a cafe nearby, there are so many! 

I can submit a day off of work for Monday right now.

Does Monday work?

Felix now

Monday is perfect, Hyunjin😊

🌼🌼🌼🌼

Luckily, Hyunjin already has Jeongin’s gifts for his birthday. They’re buried deep in the guest bedroom closet, under extra blankets he keeps for the winter. All he needs is decorations for the party that they will have at his parents’ home. They have a traditional-style hanok in the mountains near Seongnam, and it’s more space than he has in their city apartment. Changbin and Seungmin have already been enlisted to help him set up. 

Of course, Jeongin being the bright and sunny kid he is, wants a Bluey themed party. Hyunjin has had to take Jeongin to five separate stores just to find everything they need. Thankfully, he is kind of the best kid in the world and doesn’t throw any tantrums. And he sits happily at the Lotteria when they stop for lunch, munching on some chicken nuggets. 

“Dad,” Jeongin asks, helping to carry some bags from the subway station to their building. 

“Yeah, bug?” Hyunjin asks back, bending down to pick his little body up. It’s been a long day, and he can tell Jeongin is sleepy. 

“Will mom be at my birthday party?” 

And Hyunjin’s heart breaks right then, and right there. Truthfully, he had no clue if Jisoo even got his message about the party in three weeks. He has no clue where she even is, and his message has not been replied to. And the last thing he wants to do is lie to Jeongin. 

So he decides to bend the truth. 

“You know, she told me she is going to try really hard to be there, buddy!” 

Jeongin smooshed his tiny cheek into Hyunjin’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around his dad’s neck. 

“Dad,” Jeongin says softly, as Hyunjin loads them both into the elevator with all of their bags. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, Innie,” Hyunjin whispers. He smooths his hand down his son’s back, trying to console the tears he knows will come in two weeks, when Jisoo is nowhere to be seen at her own son’s fifth birthday. 

He lets Jeongin nap for a bit, before waking him for dinner. 

“What do you think? Should uncle Seung and Bin come over after dinner?” Hyunjin asks. He’s made a simple bulgogi beef tonight with vegetables, and all they are waiting on is the rice to finish cooking. 

“Yes! Yesyesyes!” Jeongin yells, overflowing with excitement. “I want to show uncle Seung my new toy cars!” 

“Right, he hasn’t seen them yet. I bet he’ll think they are so cool, Innie.” 

“Maybe we can race them. I’ll give uncle Bin the worst car, but don’t tell him!”

“Your secret is safe with me,” Hyunjin says, saluting his son oh-so seriously. 

They eat dinner in a somewhat peaceful silence, until there’s a knock at the door. Jeongin bolts into the foyer of their apartment, but he knows not to answer the door himself. 

“Daddy! Daddy! Come onnnnn!” Jeongin is bouncing on his little socked feet. “Get the door! Get the door!”

“I’m coming, buddy,” Hyunjin laughs, opening the door to see Seungmin and Changbin in the hallway, hand in hand. 

“Uncle Seungmin!!! Uncle Changbin!!” Jeongin’s voice is piercing, and he practically knocks Seungmin over with the force of his hug. 

Changbin picks Jeongin up, swinging him around effortlessly. Hyunjin loves his friends, and he loves seeing how gentle and sweet they are with his son. Seungmin is really Hyunjin’s only friend, and Changbin fits in perfectly. He has ever since the two started dating. And Jeongin didn’t even question it when Seungmin started bringing Changbin around. He is just elated to have two uncles to bother now. 

After they tire Jeongin out and Hyunjin puts him to bed, the three of them settle into the living room. 

“Soooo,” Seungmin says, nursing a healthy glass of wine. “How has Matchstix been? Have you met anyone?” 

“It’s been one week, Seung,” Changbin quips, much to his boyfriend’s displeasure. 

“I haven’t met anyone in person, but…” Hyunjin smirks when he sees the crazy sparkle ignite in Seungmin’s eyes. 

“But?!?” 

“But, I’m taking Monday off. And… I have a date.” 

“Who? Where at? What’s he look like? Is he a doctor?” Seungmin’s questions come flying at him. 

“His name is Felix, he’s Korean-Australian. Oh my god, he’s gorgeous, guys. And… he’s so fucking nice. Here,” Hyunjin gloats, tapping his phone to bring up Felix’s profile on the app. 

Changbin whistles lowly, grinning stupidly. “Damn, Hyunjin. How did you manage to bag that?” 

Seungmin shoots a very nasty, pointed glare at his boyfriend. “Because Hyunjin is amazing, and sweet, and the world’s best father, and rich, and—“

“Seungmin, please,” Hyunjin chuckles. “I know he didn’t mean anything by it.”

Changbin is scrolling through the profile more intently now. “He kind of seems like a Jesus-freak, no?” 

Hyunjin shrugs. “It’s… I don’t know. It’s kind of refreshing or whatever.”

“Wait… how is he gay and on a gay dating app, but seems to be all about God?” Seungmin starts to sound suspicious. “Oh no, Hyunjin, what if he’s in some cult church that lures the gays in? And then they try to convert you?!”

“That’s literally not going to happen,” Hyunjin says, amazed at where his best friend’s mind can go. “Just because he goes to church or whatever, doesn’t mean he can’t also be gay.” 

“Hyun has a point,” Changbin adds. “Chris, the guy I met at my gym, was telling me that one of his friends actually works at this church that’s actually really progressive. Like… they’re all about supporting the gays and sex workers and stuff. Real Christians.” 

“See? Maybe he goes to that church,” Hyunjin nods. “We’ve texted a bit and he just seems… so genuinely nice. Maybe if we don’t end up dating, we could be friends. You both know I don’t have many of those.”

“Trying to replace us?” Changbin gasps, completely a charade. 

“Never!” Hyunjin denies it. “But I am trying to send you two home soon. Jeongin and I got roped into going, get this, to church in the morning with my mother.” 

“Are you having some kind of spiritual awakening?” Seungmin deadpans, and it makes them all laugh. 

Later, when his friends are leaving, Seungmin tells him that if Hyunjin decides to become an ordained minister, he can marry the two of them if gay marriage ever gets legalized. Hyunjin has to shush their loud laughter so as not to wake Jeongin. 

His phone buzzes when he finally settles into bed, and it’s a text message from Felix. The blonde says he hopes Hyunjin has a fun time at church in the morning, and that he’ll be at his own church too. 

Hyunjin doesn’t know why the religious aspect isn’t a red flag to him like it normally would be. Something about Felix seems so inherently good, so genuine and pure. 

Or he could be a cult member. 

Regardless, he texts back a quick message and a goodnight. He falls asleep with a small smile on his face, but it’s a smile nonetheless. 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

The church Hyunjin’s mom goes to is close to Itaewon, but he is shocked when they approach a very plain looking building. It’s so plain, in fact, Hyunjin gets nervous that his mother sent him the address for her hair salon by accident. 

But there she is, catching Hyunjin’s eye and waving at the two of them. 

“You made it!” She cheers, and she’s dressed somewhat casually for a Sunday service. Hyunjin didn’t know what to wear, so he settled on some black pants with a plain cream-colored sweater. He figures now he can come in more casual clothes, if he ever comes back. 

“We did,” Hyunjin smiles, pulling his mother into a hug. “I wasn’t sure if we were at the right place, though. I assumed a much larger building, maybe even one of the European-looking church buildings.”

“No, no,” his mother waves his words away. “This isn’t one of those mega-churches. They aren’t doing this for the money. The staff here are actually good people, and they care about the community.” 

“I want to see what games they have!” Jeongin chirps from Hyunjin’s side, his tiny hand clasped in his father’s. 

“Right, let’s take you inside and have you meet Mr. Lee!” Hyunjin’s mom cheers. 

The church, in fact, doesn’t even own the entire building. It’s two floors in the middle of the city building, one floor for the general churchgoers, and the second floor for the youth members. 

So many people greet his mother when they walk inside, and it’s clear to Hyunjin that she’s made quite a few friends here. Everyone is mingling, and toward the front seem to be the pastor and other staff members. Bleach blonde hair catches his eye, and his pulse stops for a moment. There’s no way that could be…

“Mrs. Hwang!” A cheery but deep voice, like the sun itself, calls out over the chatter. Some people move away and his mother leads them closer. 

Hyunjin can’t believe it when he sees him, but it’s Felix. His blonde hair is less messy than his photos. It’s smoothed down today, parted in the middle and tucked behind his ears. A few strands fall into his face and he looks effortlessly gorgeous. 

“How is your husband, Kyunghee?” Felix asks, gently and completely focused. He hasn’t even noticed Hyunjin or Jeongin. 

“Oh, he’s doing alright. You know, he just isn’t getting any better, though. It’s just how it is… all we can do is pray, Yongbok.”

Yongbok. The silly-ass name Hyunjin had mentally made fun of. It’s Felix. Felix, who he is set to go on a date with tomorrow. Felix, whose smile is a thousand times more blinding in person. Whose voice is much deeper than his appearance would ever hint at. He’s wearing white jeans and a light pink sweater that dips low over his chest, but he has a crisp white button up shirt underneath, the collar folds softly overtop the sweater. He looks perfect, ethereal, like a real-life angel sent from heaven just to make Hyunjin suffer. 

“Anyhow, I brought my son and grandson today. I hope you don’t mind another little one in the youth group!” 

Felix turns to greet Hyunjin, and that’s when the blonde finally notices him. There is recognition in his eyes immediately, realizing that they already kind of know each other. 

“Hyunjin,” Felix exhales, holding his hand out to shake. Hyunjin takes it, and melts at the warmth in the contact. 

Kyunghee looks between them, one eyebrow raised. “That’s weird. I didn’t say his name.”

“O-oh,” Felix laughs, tucking his long hair behind his ear. He shrugs. Hyunjin thinks he sees his cheeks turn pink, but he could be imagining it. “Lucky guess, I suppose!” 

“Hi Felix,” Hyunjin says softly. How absolutely hilarious the universe is. He offers the blonde an amused look, before hoisting Jeongin up into his arms. “This is Jeongin. Can you say hi, buddy?” 

“Hi!” Jeongin beams. “Grandma said you have games!” 

“Oh? Is that right? Well grandma is correct!” Felix speaks to Jeongin so naturally, and it’s clear how good he is with kids. He holds a finger to his chin and taps. “Although… I’m not sure how she knows. Downstairs is for kids!”  

Kyunghee shoos Felix with a wave of her hands. “I’m older than all of you, so I know everything.” 

“Mom, please,” Hyunjin scoffs. He meets Felix’s eyes again and he just wants to wander off with him to a quiet corner. Maybe chat for hours, maybe count every single freckle that’s splattered along his nose and cheeks, map all the constellations that the sun has kissed him with. 

“Well, the service will start soon,” Kyunghee interrupts a conversation that the two are holding in complete silence. “And I always make sure to sit by Soonja. You know, Hyun, she has a daughter that’s single?” 

Felix huffs a subtle laugh through his nose, a knowing smile twitching at his pretty lips. 

“Right, well… I should get downstairs with the kids. You ready, Jeongin?” 

Jeongin gives Hyunjin a sad look, nervousness seeping from his little brown eyes. 

“You’ll be okay, bug. I bet you’ll make some friends, hm?” Hyunjin kneels into a squat to be eye level with his son. “And if you’re not having fun, you can let Mr. Lee know. And he can come get me, okay? But you have to go try to have some fun with the other kids, first.” 

Felix watches them with fond eyes and a soft, sweet smile. Jeongin nods, but his pout doesn’t budge. 

“Come on, buddy!” Felix calls, leading Jeongin toward where some of the other kids are already heading to the stairs. The blonde gives Hyunjin a quick smile that almost looks shy. “You can say hi to Sooyoung for me.”

The playful tone makes Hyunjin assume Sooyoung is Soonja’s daughter. He wrinkles his nose in distaste, and it has Felix giggling as he rounds up the kids and gets them down the stairs. 

“I wasn’t aware that you know Yongbok,” Kyunghee mumbles as they make their way into the makeshift sanctuary, approaching an older woman in one of the rows of chairs who is accompanied by a younger woman. 

“His name is Felix, mom,” Hyunjin corrects, lightly. 

“His Korean name is Yongbok,” she sasses him back. “Regardless, how do you know each other?” 

“Oh, just… mutual friends.” 

It isn’t a complete lie, right? Seungmin and Changbin recommended the app to him, so technically he’s met Felix via them. Right? 

“He’s a nice boy,” Kyunghee smiles. “You’ll be good friends.” 

Hyunjin’s mom knows that he’s bisexual, and she supports it. Sometimes, though, he thinks she forgets. And she doesn’t realize that anyone around her could also be gay. She grew up in a different generation, and an entirely different South Korea. Although she’s accepting, it’s just not at the front of her mind. 

“He’s twenty-nine,” Hyunjin laughs. “Not a boy.” 

“That’s a boy to me, Jinnie.”

Kyunghee drops their conversation as they approach the seats by Soonja and her daughter. She introduces Hyunjin to Sooyoung, and he feels bad about the interested smile she flashes him. She’s beautiful, and she seems nice as well, but he has a date with someone even more beautiful tomorrow. Now that he’s seen Felix in person, he’s even more sure that he wants to get to know him. 

The church’s pastor is a short, older man– likely around his mother’s age. His name is Pastor Jung, and Hyunjin is very shocked by the things he preaches. He speaks a lot about taking care of each other, despite any differences. He talks about some recent violent crimes against the LGBTQ community, not far from where they sit now in Itaewon. It’s something Hyunjin isn’t even aware of, but Pastor Jung says justice will come to people who harm others, either in this life or the afterlife. Hyunjin disagrees with this part– he always has and always will believe in reincarnation. But he genuinely likes what Pastor Jung is saying, and the man is extremely progressive for his age. 

Toward the end of the service, Pastor Jung mentions that they’re still collecting donations for the LBGTQ youth center that “Yongbok” volunteers at. Hyunjin feels his heart pound. Maybe Felix really is an angel. He already has a million and more questions for the blonde, locked and loaded in his brain for their date tomorrow. It’s purely a coincidental bonus that Jeongin will already be somewhat familiar with Felix. 

When the service ends, Kyunghee tries to nudge Hyunjin into conversation with Sooyoung, but he has the perfect excuse in going to find Jeongin. He hasn’t seen any of the other kids around, so Hyunjin decides to sneak down the stairs, just to spy, only a little. 

“So, what did we learn today?” Hyunjin hears Felix’s deep voice, not too far away from the stairwell. “Yunjin?” 

“That people like Kang are not very nice!” A child’s voice answers. 

Felix chuckles. “Kang wasn’t very nice in the story, was he?” 

A unison of tiny ‘no's’ sound, filling the room. Felix has to quiet them down.

“But what was the general lesson we learned? Anyone…? Jeongin?” 

Hyunjin perks up at the sound of his son’s name. 

“We should always treat everyone with kindness, no matter who they are?” 

Not much makes Hyunjin emotional anymore, but those words coming from his son do something to his heart and soul. He feels tears welling in his eyes, so he looks to the ceiling and heads back up the stairs. 

It isn’t long before there are a million footsteps clamoring up the stairs. Hyunjin is leaning against the wall nearby, arms folded over his chest, and the fondest smile on his face. Finally, Jeongin’s happy little face breaks through the swarm of other children, and he runs to Hyunjin who immediately swoops him into his arms. 

“Dad! Grandma was right! There were games! We had so much fun. Can we come back next week? I like Mr. Lee.” 

Hyunjin adjusts Jeongin's small body where it rests on his hip bone. “We just might, bug. I’m so glad you had fun.”

“Did you have fun too, daddy?” Jeongin asks, wrapping his arms around Hyunjin’s neck and resting his head on his shoulder. 

“You know what?” Hyunjin smiles, patting his hand over his son’s hair. “I think I did, actually.” 

Kyunghee finds them and Jeongin dissolves into the cheers of ‘grandma, grandma’. Hyunjin sets him back down so he can tell her about all the fun he had. The skin around her eyes wrinkles as she smiles, listening to Jeongin go on and on. 

The children have since cleared out from the stairs, and then Felix is the last to come up the stairs. He’s holding the tiniest little girl in his arms, the girl slumped against his chest and sleeping without fail. Hyunjin is impressed, given how noisy it is in the hallway. He watches as Felix hands the girl off to her parents, having a quick conversation. Felix looks around, spots Hyunjin, and quickly bids farewell to the couple once the girl is soundly in her mother’s arms. 

The nerves hit when Felix starts walking in their direction, and Hyunjin tries desperately to not break out in a sweat. The blonde is just so unreal; in his stupid pink sweater and his stupid white jeans. Hyunjin hasn’t felt nervous like this in quite some time.

“Soooo,” Felix teases once within earshot of him, “was it as terrible and boring as you thought it would be?” 

“No, it actually wasn’t,” Hyunjin answers truthfully. “Shockingly, I enjoyed it.” 

“See! I told you it wouldn’t be so bad.” Felix actually claps his hands together. He is the embodiment of all things sunshine, and Hyunjin is already addicted. 

“Mr. Lee!” Jeongin yells in excitement, all but jumping up and down with energy. 

“Hey!” Felix smiles, squatting to be at the kid’s level. “The most important question is: did you have fun today?” 

“Yeah! The first game was fun, and it made it not so scary. And I liked the storytime. I want to come back next week, and my dad said we will!” 

Felix grins up at Hyunjin, who gives his son a weary look. “Innie, I said we might.” 

“Which means we will!” Jeongin chirps. 

Kyunghee returns from talking with an older couple she knows, and joins the chatter for only a couple of minutes before Jeongin starts whining about being hungry. It’s their cue to start heading out, although Hyunjin could stay here for the rest of the day, if only to be around Felix. 

“Alright, Innie! I hear you, bug. How about we take grandma to the little brunch cafe near home?" Hyunjin scoops Jeongin into his arms once again, and the boy nods with enthusiasm at the mention of food. 

“Well, it’s always such a pick-me-up to see you, Yongbok,” Kyunghee says, taking Felix’s hand in her own. 

“Oh, you’re too kind, Kyunghee. Please give your husband our well wishes, yeah?”

It’s just now dawning on Hyunjin that Felix knows his mother already, well enough that they are on a first-name basis. Clearly, Felix also knows that his father has been sick for quite some time now. He wonders, if they would end up dating, how his mother would take it. She would likely be elated for them. His father, on the other hand, with his mind that’s slowly slipping away to disease, very well may not be so kind. 

“Innie, say bye to Mr. Lee,” Hyunjin jostles his son in his arms. 

“Bye, Mr. Lee! See you next Sunday!” 

Felix crosses his arms with a gentle look on his face, he nods. Kyunghee has already turned away, heading for the door. Hyunjin catches Felix’s quiet whisper just before turning too.

“See you tomorrow, Hyunjin.” 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

The sun is warm, but the air still holds a chill. No matter how many times during their walk to the cafe that Hyunjin tells Jeongin to keep his jacket on, the child continues to try and tug it off. 

“Why are we going to a cafe?” Jeongin asks, huffing after Hyunjin just scolded him again for messing with his coat. “And why aren’t you at work? You always work on Monday!” 

“I took the day off, bug. We’re going to meet up with someone, and then we’ll have a park date.” 

“Are we meeting grandma?” Jeongin asks, eyes sparkling with adoration and hope. He loves his grandma very, very much. 

“Not grandma, no. It’s one of daddy’s friends.” 

“Who—“ Jeongin begins to ask again, seemingly playing twenty questions. The kid locks eyes with Felix who is standing outside the cafe, waiting for them. “Mr. Lee! Mr. Lee!!” Jeongin screeches, letting go of Hyunjin’s hand to run the couple of feet between them. 

Jeongin is bouncing on his feet with excitement as he greets Felix, and the blonde’s smile opens a jar of fluttering birds inside of Hyunjin’s stomach. 

“Hi,” Hyunjin mumbles, shyly and awkwardly as he comes to where Jeongin is talking to Felix animatedly. 

“Hi, Hyunjin,” Felix smiles, and there is a bit of amusement laced around his tone. He looks incredible today in a powder blue oversized sweater and dark blue jeans that hug his legs sinfully. His blonde hair is tamed by a white beanie on his head, and his entire existence looks effortless. 

They go inside the cafe, and Jeongin insists on walking between them. He has to hold each of their hands, picking both his feet up every few steps so they have to hold him up and he can swing a little. 

“I’m sorry about him, he has a lot of energy today,” Hyunjin laughs, looking down at Jeongin. “I usually work on Mondays, so any break in his routine leaves him filled with wonder.” 

“It’s really okay,” Felix assures him as they approach the register to order. “I love kids, and you have a really good one here.”

Hyunjin smiles softly, averting his gaze to the menu. He’s tried hard to raise Jeongin right, to not have any behavioral issues that stem from a split marriage and a busy father. Hyunjin’s job demands full days out of him, though, so sometimes Jeongin can be a little attention-hungry. Overall, though, he is a very good, sweet boy. 

They order two coffees and banana milk for Jeongin, along with some sandwiches. As they take their seats, Felix includes Jeongin in their conversation right away. 

“So, Jeongin, your dad told me your birthday is coming up soon. How old will you be?” 

“Five!” Jeongin cheers, holding all five of his fingers out wide. “That’s this many.” 

Felix visibly melts at the cuteness. “And you’re having a super cool party, right?”

“Yes! It’s going to be Bluey.” Jeongin turns to look at Hyunjin with wide eyes then. “Dad, can Mr. Lee come to my party?” 

“Oh, uh…” Hyunjin glances at Felix. The blonde is smiling softly, like no matter what he says it will be okay. “Do you want Mr. Lee to come?”

“Yes I do!” Jeongin starts bouncing in his seat. 

“Well, it’s your party, Innie. Do you want to ask him?” 

Jeongin turns back to Felix. “Will you come to my party? Pleaseeeee?”

Felix pretends to think about it. “I’m sure I can find a way to be there!” 

Jeongin claps and makes some excited noises. 

“When is the party?” Felix asks, looking at Jeongin like he expects a reasonable response. 

“On my birthday, duh! It’s a birthday party!” 

Both Hyunjin and Felix laugh loudly at the reply, caught by the blatant honesty of it. 

“Well, Innie, Felix doesn’t know when your birthday is. What day is it?” Hyunjin guides him. Their food arrives and he opens Jeongin’s fruit cup for him. 

“It’s April twenty-two!” Jeongin declares proudly. He returns his eyes to Hyunjin. “Dad, who is Feeeelix?”

“That’s Mr. Lee’s name. Like how your name is Jeongin, Felix is his name.”

“Oh,” Jeongin pouts his lips out. “Flix.” 

They all giggle at the attempt, and lunch goes easily after that. 

The walk to the park is short, and Jeongin demands to walk between them again. Hyunjin tries not to think about how perfect it feels, he’s only just met Felix the day before. And if not for that, this would be the first time. Felix smiles over at him brightly. 

Jeongin takes off in a full sprint towards the slides when they cross the street, and Hyunjin has to yell a reminder to play nice and that they will be at the benches. 

“He does have a lot of energy, huh?” Felix giggles, his eyes crinkling up. He’s so incredibly handsome, like something out of a magazine. Hyunjin doesn’t understand how he is on a date with him right now. 

“So much,” Hyunjin sighs, taking a seat with his Americano in hand. Felix sits next to him. Close, enough so that their fingers almost touch where they rest on the bench between them. 

“So it’s just you and Jeongin?” Felix asks, the breeze catching his hair in the most fairytale fashion. 

“Mhm, and my mom,” Hyunjin nods. 

“And your dad,” Felix adds, and Hyunjin momentarily forgot that the blonde does indeed know his parents. 

Hyunjin shrugs. “I don’t talk to him much.” 

“Because he’s sick?” 

“Because he’s a dick,” Hyunjin chuckles, crossing his legs. He watches as Jeongin animatedly talks with a small group of kids his age. “We haven’t spoken to each other much since I was a teenager.” 

Felix frowns, perfectly angled brows furrowed like he isn’t processing the words at all. 

“I’m sorry,” Felix says, and he doesn’t make any effort to ask further questions. Hyunjin is grateful. 

“So,” Hyunjin changes the subject, turning to look at the blonde. The breath is sucked from his lungs instantly again. Felix is more and more beautiful every time he looks at him. “What’s a good little Christian boy like you doing on a gay dating app?”

Felix cocks his head to the side with an amused smile. “What do you mean?” 

“I just mean… like, sure, some people use them for actual dating. But most people use them for hookups, don’t they?”

Felix shrugs. “Having sex isn’t a sin, Hyunjin. And neither is being gay.” 

Hyunjin sits forward, cupping his hands to his mouth. “Yah, Hwang Jeongin! Keep your jacket on!” 

Jeongin sticks his tongue out from across the playground, but he rezips his coat and continues on. 

“The church from yesterday…” Hyunjin trails. He wants to make sure he doesn’t offend Felix. “It was a lot different than I thought it would be.” 

“You mean, you were expecting to hear about condemnation of the gays and basically everyone who isn’t a cis-het male?” Felix giggles behind his hand again, and Hyunjin already wants to kiss him. “Nah, fuck that. That’s not what Christianity is about at all. Some old white dudes decided that and ran with it.” 

Hyunjin chuckles, and nods his head. That is something he can agree with. 

“How did you become a youth pastor? And how did you end up in Korea?” 

“I grew up Catholic, so my upbringing was heavily religious. But it wasn’t in a good way, it was very much in the bad way. The church I was raised in was very conservative, and I knew I was gay from a very young age. I hated going to church. I’d fight with my mom every Sunday morning.” 

Felix’s words come slow and collected, even though he is clearly talking about something most people would consider trauma. 

“When I got to university, I took a world religion and theology course so I could try to understand all the wrong things my church had preached. It blew me away, really. I actually ended up liking the theological foundations Christianity operates on. When you peel back the specifics… it’s really just about loving all life, meeting people where they are, and trying your best every day to be a good person.” 

Felix folds his legs up on the bench into a pretzel, smiling at Hyunjin with his pretty teeth. 

“So I switched my major to religious studies and found a church near campus that I actually loved, and… well one thing just led to another. My family and I don’t really get along,” Felix’s bottom lip pouts out for a second. “They claim they love me, but they still think that me being gay is a phase. I’m twenty-nine!” 

Hyunjin laughs, only after Felix begins to. 

“I’m only here because I’ve always wanted to be a youth pastor. I want to be the person for all these kids that I never had, that I wish I had when I was their age. My best friend from university moved to Seoul a couple years back, and one of the guys at his gym helps run a LGTBQ shelter in Itaewon that partners with the church a lot. He let me know they were looking for a youth pastor. I packed my bags and didn’t look back.” 

Felix speaks so openly about everything, and it amazes Hyunjin. He is extremely extroverted, and almost reads like an open book. Hyunjin could never talk about himself so comfortably with someone he’d just met. It makes him a little envious. 

“I help out at the shelter a lot. You should come along sometime!” Felix smiles brightly for the seventh or eighth time in the past thirty minutes. Hyunjin has lost count. 

“I would love to,” Hyunjin says. “I think that’s really inspiring that you help out there.” 

Silence settles between them for a beat. 

“Is that why you and your father don’t speak?” Felix asks, tentatively. 

“Oh,” Hyunjin panics, never one to get deeper than surface level. Especially with someone so new. But Felix makes him want to. Felix makes him feel so comfortable. “When I was in high school, I got caught kissing a boy behind the bleachers on the soccer field. They called my parents, and the whole thing forced me to come out to them as bisexual before I was anywhere near ready. My dad and I had a really big fight that night, and we haven’t really been the same since then. He didn’t even speak to me much during my wedding.” 

“Oh, Hyunjin,” Felix gasps, eyes looking incredibly sad. “I’m so sorry that happened.” 

Hyunjin shrugs, deflecting like he always does. It hurts less than letting himself feel anything about it. He has nothing to say, so he shrugs again. Then he feels a smaller hand over his own, and he looks down at the bench where Felix’s delicate little hand is clutched over top of his own. Felix gives his hand a warm squeeze. For the first time since maybe the divorce, Hyunjin feels the tight feeling in his throat; the feeling you get when you’re trying not to cry. 

“Daddy! Daddy!” Jeongin’s voice cuts through the suddenly heavy silence between them. 

Hyunjin has gotten good at this. He switches moods immediately, and he perks up. “What’s up, bug?” 

“Can you push me on the swings?” 

“Of course I can, baby,” Hyunjin sighs, giving Felix a look that says ‘I am so sorry’. Felix gives one right back that says ‘I don’t mind at all’.

Felix ends up swaying gently on the swing beside Jeongin’s as Hyunjin pushes him to glide higher through the air. Giggles and squeals fill the air, and Hyunjin realizes how much he misses having moments like this with his son. 

They’ve been at the park for a couple of hours now, and Jeongin whines about being hungry. It’s their cue to go and Hyunjin has always been really bad at this part. 

“Dad, can Mr. Lee come over for dinner? I don’t want him to go home yet,” Jeongin pouts sleepily against Hyunjin’s shoulder. Hyunjin doesn’t want Felix to leave yet either, but this has already been a lot for a first date. 

“Oh, buddy, I don’t know. I’m sure he wants to get home.” Hyunjin raises an eyebrow at Felix, who simply smiles and shrugs. Again, he looks as if he genuinely will not be upset if Hyunjin doesn’t want him to come over. “Maybe if you ask him nicely, though?” 

Jeongin comes back to life in Hyunjin’s arms, turning to face Felix. “Will you please come eat dinner with us? Please? Daddy makes the best food!” 

“Well…” Felix does the thing again where he pretends to think deeply about it. “Only because your dad makes the best food.” 

Jeongin giggles, kicking his feet in the air. “You like my dad more than me!” 

“Impossible,” Felix scoffs, pinching Jeongin’s ticklish sides and making him squeal. 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

It’s nice having Felix there to entertain Jeongin while Hyunjin cooks. He settles for making a big pot of budae jjigae that the three of them could share. Quick, easy, and with enough different ingredients that Jeongin will be free to pick around at his food to find something he feels like eating today. 

Hyunjin leans on the island counter of the kitchen, watching where Felix and Jeongin are building a massive castle with blocks in the living room as Bluey plays on the TV. He’s just waiting for the rice cooker to pop to let them know dinner is ready, but he’s enjoying this while he waits. 

Felix makes it seem effortless. Like caring for a kid is natural to him. One would actually think Jeongin is Felix’s son, not Hyunjin’s, with the way Felix is engaged in Jeongin’s imagination. He’s just naturally good with kids and it’s clear, and it makes Hyunjin that much more enamored with Felix. 

Normally he would be freaking out. Bringing someone home on the first date seems a little sleazy to him, like rushing things along. Having Felix in his home feels right, though. It feels like he should have always been here. It feels like this is how it always should be. It feels like Hyunjin could get used to this, and that alone freaks him out. 

The rice cooker pops, and Hyunjin regretfully interrupts their building session. As they eat, Jeongin asks Felix a lot of questions. The blonde does not seem to ever get exhausted, though, as he carries on matching Jeongin’s energy. 

As it nears seven, Felix mentions he should be heading home. Jeongin has a mini-meltdown over it, and Hyunjin feels similarly inside himself. He didn’t even realize how much time they spent together before looking at the clock. Felix made it easy for the time to slip by. He made it easy to simply not care about the time at all. 

“Will I get to see Mr. Lee on Sunday?!” Jeongin pouts, eyes a little red from where he cried. 

“Yes, baby, of course you will,” Hyunjin nods. “Do you wanna give Felix a hug goodbye?” 

Jeongin nods, shyly walking towards Felix where they’re all standing in the foyer in the apartment. 

“Ah, I get a hug? I feel so special, Jeongin!” Felix cooes, squatting to be at his level. “Does this mean we’re friends?”

Jeongin nods, giggling wetly from his meltdown moments ago. Felix wraps his arms around Jeongin’s teenie body and sways a little. Hyunjin thinks his heart might just fucking explode. 

“Okay, Innie, can you go get ready for your bath? I’m going to see Mr. Lee out,” Hyunjin asks, and Jeongin agrees sadly. He says goodbye to Felix one more time before trotting away down the hallway toward his bedroom. 

“He’s so precious, Hyunjin. He’s such a good kid, you’re so lucky,” Felix starts immediately, hands clasped together lovingly as he watches Jeongin disappear. 

“I’m glad his insane energy levels didn’t scare you away,” Hyunjin teases. 

“Well,” Felix sighs, shoving his hands into his front jeans pockets. “His dad is really attractive, so it kind of helps.” 

Hyunjin instantly feels the distant memory of fluttering in his stomach. He really hopes he isn’t blushing, but when he looks up, Felix is. His freckled face is dusted a powdery pink, highlighted even more by his blonde hair. The blush travels down his neck, and it flushes the tips of his ears where his hair is tucked behind them. Fuck, Hyunjin wants to kiss him. 

Felix clears his throat awkwardly, looking away and swaying back and forth between the balls of his feet and his heels. “Uhm, so…”

“I had a really good time, Felix,” Hyunjin whispers, not trusting his voice to be steady if he talks at full volume. “Uhm, I’d like to see you again sometime, if you want to.” 

“I definitely do,” Felix answers instantly, nodding along with his words. 

“Okay then, yeah,” Hyunjin grins. “We’ll set something up. You’re okay to get home?”

“I’ll be fine,” Felix smiles, but he lingers. They both linger. Hyunjin doesn’t move to open the door, and Felix doesn’t either. It’s suddenly tense and awkward and way too silent. 

“Can I kiss you?” Felix asks, and Hyunjin immediately responds ‘yes’. 

Their lips meet and it’s short and sweet but electric all the same. Hyunjin hasn’t kissed anyone in months and it sends tingles through his entire body, down to his toes. Felix pulls away, eyelids heavy as he glances at Hyunjin to gauge the reaction. He smiles a tiny little smug smile, and Hyunjin grins too. He curls his hand around Felix’s neck to pull him in again. 

“Dad! Are you coming?” Jeongin’s tiny voice calls from his bedroom, and they both pull apart. Felix bites his lip with a soft giggle, as Hyunjin groans softly. 

“Goodnight, Hyunjin,” Felix smirks. 

With the front door closing, Felix is out of sight and he takes Hyunjin’s breath with him. 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

“Are you seeing someone again? Finally?” 

It’s the first question Hyunjin’s mother asks when he checks to see if Jeongin can spend the weekend with her, and come back home with him after church on Sunday. 

He and Felix haven’t seen each other the entire week since their date on Monday, but they have texted nearly every hour of every day. Felix sends him cute photos of puppies he sees on his walks and snaps of delicious food he eats. Hyunjin sends him videos of Jeongin being ridiculous and selfies from his office at work. 

Last night was pushing it, when Felix sent him a selfie of himself lounging in bed with nothing on but a largely oversized shirt. He was on his stomach, head in his hands with a deathly pretty smile. His ankles were in the air behind his body, crossed. Hyunjin could see the perfect outline of his ass covered by the shirt. They made plans to get dinner Friday night, and then Hyunjin had shamelessly jerked off to that very photo. 

And now, Friday is here. He’s nearly out the door on his way to work, and his mother is grinning stupidly at him after she asks the question. 

“Maybe I am,” Hyunjin shrugs. “But if you can’t keep him it’s fine.” 

“No, no. I’m sure he’ll be elated when I tell him he gets to spend a weekend with us. Your father will enjoy it too.”

Hyunjin frowns at the mention of his father. If it was up to him, his father wouldn’t even get to see or speak to Jeongin. But it isn’t up to him, if he wants his mother to continue to be in their lives. 

“Don’t give me that look, Jin,” his mother grumbles. “You two need to just sit down and talk, before you don’t have the chance to anymore.” 

He swallows the next words that almost come out of his mouth. He knows his father’s health is declining, quicker these days than it ever had been. He also knows that his mother only wants there to be peace between them. Hyunjin has never understood why it has to be him, though. His father is the one who threatened to disown him. His father is the one who had called him a waste of a son. All Hyunjin had been guilty of was experiencing a young love. 

“I know, mom,” Hyunjin chooses instead. “I’ll think about it. You’re sure that keeping Innie isn’t too much?” 

“I’m old, but not that old, Hyunjin,” Kyunghee teases with a smirk. “Soooo, who is she? A coworker? A friend?” 

“It’s…” Hyunjin stalls, taking a deep breath as he slips on his dress shoes. “It’s not a girl, mom. And I hope that’s okay, because I really like him. And I know you will too.” 

Kyunghee looks a little surprised, but not in a bad way. Her face softens and her eyes grow warm. She, of all people, knows exactly how sensitive this is to him. 

“Of course that’s okay, honey. You know I’ve never cared about that…” 

“I know, I just…dad, and—” 

“I know,” she interjects. “And it doesn’t matter what he thinks about it. It isn’t his life, baby.” 

Hyunjin has always loved his mother, but she always finds a way to make his love grow even deeper. He pulls her into a warm, tight hug. 

“Okay, I need to head to work. You’re doing me a solid, mom,” Hyunjin smiles. “If Jeongin becomes too much, just bring the little gremlin back.” 

“I would never,” Kyunghee scoffs. 

Knowing he has the apartment to himself for the evening, Hyunjin breezes through his workday. He hopes Felix will come home with him. They don’t even have to do anything, he just wants a little more privacy. He wants to be able to focus on Felix and really get to know him. No church crowd, no restaurants, no busy park, no children to interrupt. 

Felix picked a casual Indian restaurant near the shelter he volunteers at in Itaewon, close to the church as well. He spends Friday afternoons at the shelter, so it’s easier for him to walk from there and meet Hyunjin. 

When he sees Felix again for the first time since Monday, he feels his breath catch in his throat. His blonde hair is in a bouncy little bun, loose strands falling into his face. He has glasses on, and the perfect pair of snug ripped jeans that show off his body’s curves. He has chunky, scuffed up sneakers on his feet and a jean jacket to match his pants. He’s leaning against the concrete wall outside of the restaurant, scrolling through his phone. The sun is already setting and the screen illuminates his freckles. 

“Felix, hi,” Hyunjin says softly, so as not to startle him. 

“Hyunjin,” Felix exhales, looking up and pocketing his phone. He has that bright smile full of teeth. “Wow, you look really nice.” 

He hadn’t been sure what to wear, so he went with his favorite burnt orange bomber jacket, pulling the zipper up to his chin to stave off the slight chill in the air. He paired it with a nice pair of loose black jeans and brown sneakers. 

Hyunjin tucks his shaggy hair behind an ear with an embarrassed smile. “You look really good too.” 

“I hope you’re hungry,” Felix grins, looping his arm around Hyunjin’s and dragging him into the restaurant. “I’m starving. We had a crisis case today, so I didn’t get to eat lunch.” 

“What’s a crisis case?” Hyunjin asks. Felix finds an empty booth near the windows and slides into one side. 

“It’s when a youth shows up to the shelter, either abused or actively suicidal. Sometimes both.” 

“Oh,” Hyunjin whispers intelligently. “I hope that wasn’t too hard on you?” 

“Nah, it’s always good to be able to help. At least when they come to us, we can help them get their life back on track, you know?” Felix speaks casually as he flips through the large menu. “Ugh, their tandoori chicken is amazing here.” 

“Do you want to share panipuri too? They sound tasty,” Hyunjin suggests, flipping through the pages of the menu.

Felix sets his menu down with huge eyes. “Is that even a question? Where have you been all my life, Hwang Hyunjin?” 

They eat so much delicious food that they need to get takeaway containers to bring home what they can’t finish. Hyunjin, of course, demands to pay for both of them. Felix argues, but he doesn’t put up a hard fight. Hyunjin knows his income cannot be much. 

Felix declares that they should get bubble tea, leading him into a shop down the road a little ways. 

Neither of them want the night to end and it’s clear. Felix laces their fingers together with a shy giggle as they walk aimlessly, sipping at their sweet drinks. 

“So, does Kyunghee have Jeongin tonight?” Felix asks.

“Mhm,” Hyunjin confirms. “She has him all weekend, until church on Sunday.” 

He hopes it doesn’t come off as too forward. The last thing he wants Felix to think is that he’s just trying to have a fling. He doesn’t seem like the type to like casual sex, but that could just be Hyunjin applying the religious stereotype to Felix. 

“Ahh,” Felix nods, sipping the last of the tapioca pearls through his thick straw. “So no curfew tonight?” 

“Nope,” Hyunjin chuckles. He lets silence fall between them, working up the nerve to ask what he wants to ask. “Would you… want to come back to my place for a little bit? Or we could go to your place if you want. I’m not sure how far my apartment is for you.” 

Felix chews on his lip, like he’s thinking hard. “Uhm… I can come back to your place. Only for a little bit, though.” 

Hyunjin can sense the hesitation, and the last thing he wants to do is make Felix feel uncomfortable. 

“It’s really okay if you don’t want to,” Hyunjin says quickly. “We can call it a night.” 

“I… don’t want to yet,” Felix admits. He fiddles with one of the buttons near the bottom of his jean jacket. “I just know my roommate will be home, and he’ll be super annoying about this if we go there.” 

Hyunjin tilts his head back in laughter, recalling the time he and Seungmin lived together when they were in university. “I get it. So… to my place then?” 

“You lose points because you sent Jeongin away, though,” Felix jokes with a grin. 

“He needed to make up for the grandma time he missed from the entire day he spent with us on Monday.” 

Felix makes a sound like suddenly everything makes sense, and it’s clearly sarcastic as Felix sends him a wink. 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

Hyunjin has no idea how they ended up here, which is a lie. Neither of them had been drinking. He knows exactly how they ended up here. 

He has Felix beneath him on the couch, kissing him so deeply until they’re both gasping for air. The room feels much warmer, and his loose jeans are feeling much tighter. 

He knows step by step how they got here. They’d come back to his apartment, and he got them both glasses of water. Felix opened up more, telling Hyunjin all about life in Australia and about his family back home. Felix has two sisters— one older and one younger— and they’re the only thing he misses about home. 

Hyunjin talks a little deeper about his ex-wife, about the fact that she will likely miss Jeongin’s birthday for the second year in a row. Felix looks apologetic, but he reaches forward for Hyunjin’s hand to give it a squeeze, promising he will be there for him if that happens. 

Hyunjin asks him about his Korean name, and Felix tells him it was his grandfather’s name. His mom grew up in Korea, but moved to Australia when she met Felix’s father. Neither of his grandparents are alive now, and he never had the chance to meet them. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Hyunjin asks, and Felix raises an eyebrow as he sips some water. “I totally thought Lee Yongbok the youth pastor was some sixty-year old guy from Australia.” 

Felix snorts into his glass, setting it down on the coffee table in a hurry so he can tip his head back in a loud laugh. Felix has really pretty teeth, and Hyunjin stares. He wonders what they’d feel like if he ran his tongue over them, if Felix sank them into his skin. 

“You’re so beautiful when you laugh,” Hyunjin says, and it leaves his mouth before his brain can even try to stop it. 

Felix’s face dusts in a pink blush again, the way it did on Monday evening, right before they kissed. Hyunjin wants to kiss him again. He wants to kiss him forever. He wants Felix to be the last person he ever thinks about kissing. 

Hyunjin is fixated, staring at Felix’s perfectly plump lips. He doesn’t notice Felix scooting closer to him on the couch, not until their legs brush and Felix’s small fingers cling to the fabric of his shirt over his biceps. 

Felix initiates it first, and Hyunjin is internally having to unlearn a lot of stereotypes he’s acquired regarding religious people. He’s shocked at Felix’s forwardness, knowing this is an entirely sober action. And then Felix angles his head and lets out a tiny little sigh against Hyunjin’s lips. He loses it, one hand cupping Felix’s neck like he had on Monday. They won’t be interrupted this time. 

Felix’s fingers grip his arms tighter as their tongues meet. Hyunjin lets him have control first, relishing in the small sounds leaving him. 

Hyunjin tentatively grips Felix’s waist, and the blonde’s body shakes with a shiver as he arches into the touch. A delicious, addictive sound pours into Hyunjin’s mouth, and he gently leads Felix to lay back on the couch. Now, Hyunjin controls the kiss. He dives his tongue into Felix’s mouth, greedy. All Felix can do is lazily suck his tongue into his mouth, fingers still gripping Hyunjin’s arms for dear life. 

It’s loud and deafening to their ears, wet smacking sounds on full blast. Hyunjin hasn’t kissed anyone in months, but he hasn’t kissed anyone like this in years. He naturally scoots a little closer, his thigh slipping between Felix’s legs. Felix tosses his head back into the couch at the contact, a low moan filling the living room as he rolls his hips against Hyunjin’s thigh over and over. Hyunjin doesn’t pause, he kisses down that beautiful expanse of his throat, careful not to mark. It would be a bad look on Sunday. 

“H-Hyunjin,” Felix breaths, his voice somewhere between hoarse and a whisper. “I don’t…” 

“It’s okay,” Hyunjin groans, nuzzling the skin along Felix’s jawline. “We don’t have to do anything more than this. But you can use me, just like you are.” 

“I was going to say I don’t have any condoms, but we can keep it to this if you want,” Felix chuckles, and his voice is so low and raspy and deep. Again, Hyunjin is thrown off track. He cannot believe this is his son’s youth pastor. 

Hyunjin’s so hard that it hurts, but he decides to play it safe. “Believe me, I really want to have sex with you. I think we should start slow, though?” 

Felix writhes his hips against his thigh some more, mouth falling open in a quiet sigh. “And who’s the good little Christian now?” 

Hyunjin huffs, laughs in disbelief. “I can’t believe you. You’re so different than I thought you would be.” 

Felix’s hair is knocked out of his bun now, hair tie lost somewhere in the couch cushions. He looks like a fever dream, hair fanned out around him and skin flushed red with arousal. His chest rises and falls as he licks his lips. 

“Mmm and how did you think I’d be, Hyunjin?” 

“Not…. Not like this,” Hyunjin chuckles, thumbs rubbing circles into Felix’s hipbones through the waistband of his jeans. He had imagined Felix would be more reserved than this, maybe even a bit of a prude. He’s known a few people throughout his life who were devout religious followers, and they were nothing like the man in front of him. 

Felix giggles, pretty teeth hidden behind the skin of his wrist as he tries to hide. “I told you… having sex isn’t a sin. I’m not sure what your past experiences are with religion, but you need to unlearn that shit.” 

Hyunjin laughs along, sitting back on his heels. He’s still very much half hard in his jeans, and he can see Felix is too. 

“Fuck, when did it get so late?” Felix asks, glancing across the living room at the little analog clock below the TV. It’s already after eleven. “I should get home.” 

“Let me walk you home, Felix, it’s late,” Hyunjin insists. “Or at least call you a ride?” 

“I’ll be fine,” Felix whines childishly, but Hyunjin can tell he’s flattered by the concern for his safety. He looks sleepy, though, and Hyunjin knows just from conversations that Felix lives near the church and the shelter. It’s at least a thirty minute commute home, and the trains will stop running soon. 

“You can stay if you want to,” Hyunjin offers and he’s so fucking nervous. “There’s a, uhm, spare bedroom.” 

Felix yawns and rubs at his eyes. It’s cute, almost criminally so for someone who was grinding his erection against Hyunjin’s thigh twenty minutes ago. “I really don’t want to overstay my welcome…” 

“I’d love for you to,” Hyunjin blurts, and Felix grins knowingly at him. “Uhm, stay, I mean. I mean– you’re not over staying at all. I’d feel more at ease if you waited until the morning to head home, anyhow.” 

“Okay, Hyun-jin,” Felix enunciates. “If you insist.”

“I do, Yong-bok,” Hyunjin throws it right back, and the banter feels so comfortable. Again, he finds himself drifting into thoughts of how he could easily get used to this. This is their first proper date between just the two of them, second date total, and their third time meeting in person. He seriously needs to pump the fucking breaks. 

“Then get me some pajamas, please, because I’m not sleeping in jeans.” 

After Hyunjin gets him situated with a pair of extremely baggy sweatpants that drag when Felix walks– he’s so much shorter than Hyunjin realizes– they curl back up on the couch. It’s late, and they’re both sleepy beyond belief, but they both want to make the most of this quiet, private time they have. 

Hyunjin feels like Felix is the most interesting person he’s ever met, and he lets the blonde know this. So he asks Felix to explain his beliefs to him, to explain how he sees the world. He learns more about Felix’s catholic upbringing and the rebellious phase he went through as a teen. Felix tells him about his first few boyfriends in college and how his parents never acknowledged the relationships. Sometimes, Felix says, feeling ignored hurts worse than feeling hated. 

Hyunjin recalls how he and Jisoo met at university, how he never saw himself as a father but he wouldn’t trade it now for anything in the world. He does confess the guilt he feels in having Jeongin with a mother like Jisoo, one who is never around. One who doesn’t hate Jeongin at all, but who also doesn’t care much about him either. Felix reassures him that everything happens for a reason, and that without Jisoo being who she is, Hyunjin likely wouldn’t have become the father he is. And honestly, it’s better this way, rather than Jisoo forcing herself into the role of a mother when she’s clearly not a fit for it. 

When Felix yawns for the third time in five minutes, Hyunjin glances at the clock and it’s nearing two in the morning. He declares they should go to bed, and that they can get breakfast (or lunch) when they wake up, before Felix goes back home. Felix smiles sleepily and says that sounds amazing, before leaning in to kiss Hyunjin delicately, sweetly. 

“Thanks for letting me stay,” Felix whispers, getting up from the couch and heading toward the hallway which hosts the guest bedroom. “Goodnight, Hyunjin.” 

The shy little smile on Felix’s face does Hyunjin in. He sits on the couch until he hears the door close, and then faceplants into a pillow. It smells like Felix, and he’s subconsciously filling his nostrils with it. He is so fucked. He’s absolutely in love with Felix, and it’s way too soon. 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

“Daddy!” Jeongin’s voice is bright and loud, as soon as his son spots him walking toward them. Kyunghee had let him know they’d wait for him outside of the building that houses the church. 

“Innie! I missed you so much,” Hyunjin calls, scooping Jeongin into his arms and carrying him back to Kyunghee near the doors. “How was the weekend with grandma?” 

“It was really fun, daddy! We baked cookies for grandpa and I helped grandma with her garden.” 

Hyunjin gives his mother a shocked look, trying to picture Jeongin in her garden without absolutely destroying everything. Kyunghee just shrugs, laughing. 

“I can’t wait to see Mr. Lee! I told grandma that he had dinner with us on Monday!” Jeongin chirps as they enter the building lobby and head to the elevator. Hyunjin pales at the words and sneaks a peek at his mother’s reaction. She holds an all-too knowing smile on her face as she side-eyes her son, then looks back forward as the numbers climb to take them to the floor that the church is on. 

When they finally see Felix in the lobby, Hyunjin doesn’t know what to do. Luckily, Jeongin has that covered. 

“Mr. Lee!” Jeongin screams happily, running to Felix and wrapping his legs in a crushing hug. Felix wobbles and almost loses balance, laughing loudly before hugging Jeongin back. 

“How are you, Jeongin?” Felix asks, and Jeongin pulls away and looks up at him with huge eyes. 

“Good! When will you come over for dinner again? This time I want to play with my racecars.” 

The bright fluorescent lighting of the lobby can’t hide the shade of red on Felix’s face. He sucks his bottom lip into his mouth in embarrassment, looking up and spotting Hyunjin as he and his mother approach the two. 

“That’s up to your dad, I think,” Felix says, a lot quieter. 

“What’s up to me?” Hyunjin asks, feeling emboldened now that Jeongin has broken the ice for them. 

“When and if I get to have dinner with you two again,” Felix says, smiling fondly as Jeongin returns to his dad’s side and grips his hand. 

“Hmmm,” Hyunjin pretends to have a dilemma. “I think we can arrange something soon, don’t you think?” 

Felix tucks his hair behind his ear sweetly. He’s dressed up so cleanly again, just like the previous Sunday. He has an all-white sweater on today with sleeves that fall to his second knuckles. There’s a white collared shirt underneath that falls overtop of the sweater’s neckline. He wears simple green-tinted jeans and nice shoes. He looks perfect, and Hyunjin has to take a deep breath to calm his racing heart. 

“Well,” Kyunghee interjects, looking between them with suspicious eyes. “I’m not sure what your plans are after church, Yongbok, but I was going to ask Hyunjin to have me over for lunch.” 

“Oh,” Felix chuckles, licking his lips and tucking his hair again. It’s a nervous little tick of his that Hyunjin has quickly grown obsessed with. “Thank you, Mrs. Hwang, but I couldn’t invite myself over like that.” 

“You’re not,” Kyunghee objects, and her tone makes it clear she isn’t about to take no for an answer. “I’m inviting you, and this man owes me for watching Jeongin all weekend anyhow.” 

Felix’s mouth falls open a tiny bit in disbelief at the wink Kyunghee sends him. Hyunjin smacks his hand over his face, wishing this entire conversation would just end. 

“Well, should we go find Soonja?” Hyunjin asks, hoping for a quick out. 

“Sure,” Kyunghee waves her hand around. “Although I don’t think it’s very important anymore, all things considered…” 

Hyunjin chokes on his spit, coughing. Felix laughs, tipping his head back. He looks so fucking beautiful every single time he laughs, and Hyunjin never wants to go another day without seeing it. 

“Jeongin, you’re okay to go with Mr. Lee? I’ll be right up here if you need me?” Hyunjin asks his son. 

Jeongin, with some newfound audacity, rolls his eyes. “Yeah, dad. Me and Mr. Lee are friends now.” 

“Oh, is that so?” Hyunjin cocks an eyebrow. Jeongin nods proudly. Hyunjin looks up at an amused Felix. “I see how it is!” 

They part ways, and the service is just as pleasant as the last one. It seems to go fast, and Hyunjin finds it somewhat therapeutic. He wishes his dad could be here and listen to these words of love, tolerance, and acceptance– words that his mother is so clearly comfortable hearing. Words that she agrees with, nodding her head every now and then when something resonates with her. The pastor updates everyone on the ongoing fundraiser for the shelter Felix volunteers at, and it warms Hyunjin’s heart to hear that in one week, they’ve already raised half of the goal. For the first time since he was in college, he feels some foreign sense of community. 

He hadn’t noticed it last week, too nervous and feeling out of place, too distracted by the beautiful man he’d been shamelessly flirting with on a dating app. This week, he notices. He looks around the group of people in the service and he sees multiple same-sex couples. He sees some older folks, like his mother. He sees some families with teenagers. He sees a couple of androgynous people, and he feels so much less out of place than he had the week prior. He feels like these could be his people… like he could see himself making friends here very easily.

When the service is over, they head out to the lobby to wait for Jeongin. He comes barreling up the stairs moments later, with a sunny smile on his face. He talks enthusiastically about what they learned today, and Felix eventually comes up the stairs holding the hands of two kids. Hyunjin watches as he kneels with them in front of the stairwell. 

“I’m very proud of you for apologizing before anyone told you to, Yeonwoo,” he hears Felix tell the taller boy who nods. The boy’s eyes are red like he’d been crying, and his lip pouts out. 

Felix looks at the other boy. “Have you decided? Do you forgive Yeonwoo?” 

The smaller boy bites his fingernails, but nods. Felix beams, pulling them both into his arms in a soft hug. 

“I know what Yeonwoo did wasn’t very nice, but sometimes we make mistakes. All we can do is say we’re sorry, and hope we’re forgiven, yeah?” Felix explains, patting both of their backs in comfort. Both boys nod, and then turn to hug each other. Hyunjin wants to melt into the fucking floor. He could never be that patient, and Felix really is a saint. 

Felix sends them off to their parents and his eyes wander around before he finds Hyunjin. The relaxed and tender emotion that falls over Felix’s face when they see each other does something absolutely criminal to Hyunjin’s entire being, like a shot right through his chest. Felix makes his way to them and Kyunghee’s face lights up. 

“Yongbok! We’ll need to head to the store to get stuff to make lunch. Would it be okay if Hyunjin lets you know when to come over?” 

“Actually…” Felix starts, and Hyunjin readies himself for the blow. He’s definitely going to bail on them. “I was thinking… would it be okay if I made you all lunch? Hyunjin and I can go to the store, and you could take Jeongin home?” 

Kyunghee gives Hyunjin a quick impressed look, and she agrees to the plan. After some negotiation with Jeongin, Kyunghee heads off with him to Hyunjin’s apartment. 

“I just have to go clean up really quick,” Felix says. Hyunjin offers to help, but Felix demands he stay up here and hang out for the five minutes it will take him. He reappears as quickly as he said he would, and he pops into the main service room to say goodbye to Pastor Jung before they head to the elevator. 

“Why wouldn’t you let me help you?” Hyunjin asks as they enter the elevator. “At least let me help with lunch?” 

The doors slip closed and the elevator starts to move, and Felix immediately turns to him. He stands on his tippy toes, fingers curled in Hyunjin’s jacket as he tugs him forward for a kiss. 

“I couldn’t trust myself not to do that if you came downstairs to help me,” Felix whispers against his lips. “And I’m really not trying to lose my job if I’m caught making out with you there.” 

“Oh,” Hyunjin exhales intelligently. Then he smiles, wraps his arm around Felix’s tiny waist and pulls him close for another kiss. 

Grocery shopping with Felix turns out to be the most wholesome experience for Hyunjin. They end up with the ingredients they need for the bibimbap Felix wants to make, but somehow Felix also talks him into a couple packs of pepero as well as ice cream for Jeongin. 

“If you spoil him like this, he’s going to expect it every time,” Hyunjin teases as they wait in the checkout line. 

Felix glances at Hyunjin over his shoulder with a grin. “Then I’ll be the one to spoil him, I’m fine with that role.” 

Oh, they’re talking roles now? Hyunjin’s insides turn into a puddle of goo, sloshing around nervously. The way Felix speaks hints at him wanting to be around in the future of Hyunjin and Jeongin’s lives, and Hyunjin wants that too. He wants that so damn bad. He’s simply facefirst in the dirt when it comes to his feelings for Felix, and he has no intention of trying to get up. 

Hyunjin beats Felix to the card reader and taps his card, grabbing Felix by the chin and kissing him quickly to wipe the adorable little pout off of his lips. 

“There’s no way I’m letting you pay for all of this,” Hyunjin says, knowing all the stuff they bought wasn’t cheap. 

Felix helps him carry the bags the couple of blocks from the store they went to near Hyunjin’s apartment building. The entire time, Hyunjin is picturing the two of them, groceries in hand, with Jeongin in between them chomping on pepero happily. He’s so in love, and it’s so stupid. They barely know each other and he’s actually embarrassed from how quickly he’s fallen for Felix. He wonders if Felix feels the same, or if he would call Hyunjin crazy. 

The negotiation they’ve made with Jeongin since he didn’t get to go along to the store, was that Felix will stay after lunch and play with his racecars. They have plenty of leftover bibimbap, enough for dinner even after Kyunghee packs up some to take home. She compliments Felix’s cooking for being raised in Australia, and he tells them it’s actually his mom’s family recipe. 

Kyunghee demands to help Hyunjin with the dishes before she leaves, and it gives the two of them some privacy while Jeongin sits Felix on the living room floor and brings his tote of racecars from his room. 

“Well,” Kyunghee whispers almost immediately. “This was a really nice surprise, Hyun.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you…” Hyunjin apologies. “I just wasn’t sure, like, how comfortable he would be with telling people. It’s… new.” 

“I’d say,” Kyunghee laughs. “You just met last weekend? Barely? Didn’t think my son was such a go-getter.” 

“Mom,” Hyunjin groans softly, checking over his shoulder to make sure they aren’t being heard. Felix is deeply engaged in helping Jeongin build a track in the living room. “It’s not like that. We… we started talking before we met at the church. It was pure coincidence that we ran into each other.”

“How serious is it? You seem more in love with Yongbok than you ever did with Jisoo. Or maybe it’s just the leftover glow from Friday evening?” 

“Mom!” Hyunjin jolts, not expecting her to go there. He forgets his volume for a second, glancing over his shoulder yet again. Felix hasn’t noticed. “Nothing happened… we– we just got dinner, and we talked a lot. That’s all. It was nice.” 

He leaves out the intense makeout session on the couch that almost went farther. Hyunjin wishes now that it would have. 

“Well, he’s a very sweet boy,” Kyunghee hums. “He’s always so good with the kids at the church, and he’s always volunteering his time.”

Hyunjin washes up the last dish, handing it to his mother to dry. She takes it, and rests her back against the counter, peering into the living room. “Look at them.” 

After drying his hands, he mirrors his mother’s stance and folds his arms over his chest. Felix is laying on his side, and their track is complete. Jeongin picks out the car he wants to race, and puts them into the launcher. He counts down, and Felix hits the red button, sending the cars into motion. Felix’s car must win, because the blonde is throwing a hand in the air and cheering in joy. Jeongin declares it was just beginner’s luck. They load their cars up again. 

“He’s perfect for you, Hyunjin. But he’s perfect for Jeongin, too.” 

“I know, mom. I know.” 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

Hyunjin ends up taking the following Friday off, and he joins Felix for a day of volunteering at the shelter. He doesn’t know what to expect, and he honestly has the jitters as he rides the train to meet Felix. 

Felix has joined him and Jeongin for dinner twice more since Sunday. Hyunjin is itching to have more alone time with Felix, even if it’s still public. He also knows that Felix is good friends with the two men who run the shelter, so he’s nervous about meeting them too. He wants to make a good impression on them. 

“Hyunjin!” Felix’s voice alerts him the second he walks through the doors. Felix comes jogging over to him. “You made it!” 

“Of course I did,” Hyunjin smiles. He leans forward to kiss Felix on the cheek, and he relishes in the glowing shyness it earns him. Felix smiles brightly, like Hyunjin just made his day. “I wouldn’t miss this.” 

“Come on,” Felix whispers, lacing their fingers together. “I want to introduce you to Lino-hyung and Jisung.” 

Felix leads them to a big office, where a dark haired man sits behind a desk, typing away on a keyboard. Another man with dark brown curly hair leans against the desk. They’re talking about money and budgets when they enter the room. 

“Ah,” the man leaning against the desk looks at them over his shoulder and turns to face them. “Lix!” 

“Morning Sungie,” Felix greets. “This is Hyunjin, the guy I was telling you about.” 

“You mean, the guy you’re incredibly infatuated with?” The man behind the computer smirks, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back in the computer chair. 

“Hyung!” Felix squeaks. He casts an embarrassed look at Hyunjin. “Anyhow… Hyunjin, this is Jisung,” Felix motions to the one with curly hair. “And this is Minho,” he motions to the man still sitting down. 

Hyunjin bows slightly in politeness. “It’s nice to meet you!” 

“It’s nice to meet you too, Hyunjin,” Jisung grins, and his smile is almost as pretty as Felix’s. Jisung’s face is round and his curly hair makes him look incredibly young. He can’t believe this man is also Felix’s age. 

“Yeah,” Minho butts in, tone laced with smugness still. “It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. All Felix does is talk about you.” 

“Hyung!” Felix groans, balling his fingers up into fists at his sides. 

“Leave them alone, babe,” Jisung giggles, resting his hand on one of Minho’s shoulders. “You remember how insufferable we were when we started dating?” 

Felix didn’t mention they were together, but it makes sense now. They are literally perfect for each other. Minho seems like a schemer, and Jisung seems like the sweet one. It reminds him of Changbin and Seungmin, but those two can each be a little bit of both. 

All of them chat for a little bit before Jisung lets them know where they’ll be helping out for the day. As they leave, Hyunjin hears Minho tell Jisung that he likes Hyunjin. He mentally cheers. 

Jisung and Minho have five full-time staff members; Rui, Wumuti, Seonghwa, Haru and Jinhyung. Haru and Jinhyung are both on vacations. Felix explains that he’s typically helping out with cleaning, or fetching snacks for the group therapy sessions Seonghwa and Wumuti lead. Since they’re short on staff currently, though, Felix and Hyunjin end up having to lead the arts and craft hour before lunch. Some of the kids live on site, and some of them just visit frequently for the socialization and community. 

The kids start trickling in as Felix explains that he isn’t very artistic at all, so he doesn’t quite know what to have them do for a whole hour. Hyunjin recalls some of his art therapy courses from college, before he switched his major. He tells Felix to relax, he can handle it. 

“Hey everyone!” Felix greets the kids, some of them older and some of them younger. “Some of you know me, maybe some of you don’t. I’m Felix, and this is my friend Hyunjin. We’re going to be stepping in for Haru, since he’s on vacation this week.”

Felix nods for Hyunjin to take over, and he nervously steps forward. He doesn’t know why. These are just kids. “Hi everyone, I’m Hyunjin.” 

The kids greet him in unison. Hyunjin starts placing blank sheets of paper on the tables in front of them. Some of the kids look at each other in confusion. 

“Today, your only challenge is to paint what you’re currently feeling. You can’t use words, and you can’t use objects. Just use colors and make it abstract. You can use shapes, patterns, etc. Any questions?”

The room is silent, so Hyunjin takes that as a no. “Alright, well if you need help, let me or Felix know.” 

The kids disperse to the art supplies, grabbing different paint colors and brushes. 

“Should we make one too?” Felix asks, and Hyunjin shrugs. It could be fun. He slides a blank sheet over to Felix and grabs one for himself too. 

The room is filled with chatter and busy hands. Felix is working on something bright, with yellows and greens. He can’t wait for Felix to explain it. Hyunjin is painting about love, with splotches of pinks and reds and pastel blues. He’s strategic with placement, avoiding making any definite shapes, but when you step back and look at it, it clearly resembles two people in an embrace. 

Hyunjin finishes his own work quickly, and he takes a moment to scan over the kids working at the tables. There’s one kid in the back corner, and their sheet of paper is still blank and untouched. 

“That’s Hayun,” Felix notes, seeing Hyunjin staring. “She’s sixteen, she/her pronouns. She was the crisis case we had last week. She’s been staying here since then.” 

Hyunjin frowns, noticing how none of the other kids are making much effort to include her. Hyunjin stands and slowly makes his way around the room, offering encouragement here and there. He stops when he gets to Hayun and squats at the side of the table. Her eyes flick to him, and then back to the table. 

“Having some artist-block?” Hyunjin asks. 

Hayun doesn’t reply. She flips her pencil around in her fingers. 

“You know,” Hyunjin says then. “I was sixteen once, too.” 

Hayun scoffs, like this is a stupid observation. 

“Hard to believe, I know.” Hyunjin chuckles. “When I was that age, I probably would have painted this whole sheet black. Because that’s all I ever felt, like I wanted to just disappear.” 

Hayun actually looks at him now, and she seems to lose the defensiveness. 

“But I didn’t disappear, you know? I ended up having a son, and he’s my entire world. And that guy, over there,” Hyunjin points to Felix. “If I had disappeared, I would have never met him. And I really like him.” 

Hayun smiles. It’s small, just a twitch of her lips as she glances at Felix in the front of the room. 

“Do you want to try and paint something? Even if it’s just a black page?” Hyunjin asks. 

Hayun twirls her pencil some more, but she nods gently. She moves to go pick out some paints. Hyunjin gives her an encouraging smile and a thumbs up before returning to Felix. 

“You’re good with kids too,” Felix sighs dreamily as Hyunjin sits back down beside him. “I wouldn’t have even known how to approach her without wanting to cry. I hate seeing kids so broken.” 

“Broken can be whole again, even if it’s shattered into a million tiny pieces,” Hyunjin says, folding his arms over his chest as he watches Hayun work, a proud smile on his face. “She’ll be fine, I know she will.”

When all the kids place their paintings in a stack before leaving, Hyunjin and Felix watch the variations of colors and shapes and squiggles. Hyunjin explains that there will never be two of the same works, because we all experience the same emotions but we rarely experience them the same way. Felix looks at him with something he can’t quite place. 

Hayun is the last to leave, and she places her sheet of paper on the top of the stack. Felix glances at it and looks up at her with amazement. “Hayun, this is really beautiful!” 

“Thanks,” she mumbles before leaving the room. Hyunjin stares at the paper with so much pride. She’d started to outline the edges of the page in black, but as she moved toward the center of the page, shades of blue turn from navy into cobalt, azure into sky blue, until it blends seamlessly into white in the center. 

“What emotion would you say this is?” Felix asks, head in his hand. His fingers are covered in paint, and he smears a little green on his cheek. 

“Hope,” Hyunjin answers. 

Felix grins, and looks down to his own work. “What about mine?” 

“Happiness?” Hyunjin guesses, and Felix puffs his cheeks. 

“Close, but no. It’s love,” Felix mumbles, refusing to meet Hyunjin’s eyes out of embarrassment. 

“Ah, mine is too! See?” Hyunjin says, scooting his page over. Where Felix’s painting feels like a warm summer day in the sun, Hyunjin’s feels like a warm passionate evening snuggled up. 

“Yours is so much better,” Felix says. 

“No, don’t say that,” Hyunjin laughs softly. “I told you… same emotions, but different ways we feel them? Different ways we express them, too. Both of these express warmth, it’s just where our mind goes when we think of the word warmth.” 

“You’re incredible, Hwang Hyunjin,” Felix whispers, placing a chaste and quick kiss to Hyunjin’s lips. Those words coming from someone like Felix mean the world to him, more than Felix will likely ever know. 

They meet back up with Jisung and Minho for lunch, and Felix gloats about how amazing Hyunjin was with Hayun. Jisung asks if he can pull the artwork and give it to Wumuti for their next therapy session together, and Felix nods happily. The day goes faster than he’d like it to, and soon enough, they’re saying goodbye to Minho and Jisung. 

Hyunjin and Felix walk slower than snail pace to the subway station. When they finally reach it, Felix simply will not let go of his hand. 

“I don’t want to say goodnight,” Felix sighs ever-so dramatically. 

“Then don’t,” Hyunjin offers. “You can come home with me, I’m sure Jeongin would be ecstatic.” 

“I don’t… I can’t…” Felix stutters, eyebrows furrowing as he searches for words. 

“Just come over,” Hyunjin says. “Stay.” 

Felix searches his eyes for a beat, before whispering ‘okay’. 

They part ways then, only for Felix to grab some things from his apartment and for Hyunjin to pick up takeout on his way home to relieve his mother from watching Jeongin. 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

Hyunjin was hoping his mother would be gone by the time Felix gets there, but it doesn’t happen that way. Kyunghee is in the middle of gathering her things when there’s a knock at the door. She gives Hyunjin a confused look as Jeongin perks up, looking at the foyer. 

“Oh my,” Hyunjin says in a teasing tone. “I forgot to tell Innie I have a surprise for him…” 

Hyunjin goes to open the door, Felix stepping inside. 

“Feeeeeelix!” Jeongin screeches, abandoning the toys he was playing with to run and greet Felix. He runs into Felix’s knees full-force, and Hyunjin has to steady Felix from being taken out by the almost five year old. 

“No more Mr. Lee, huh?” Hyunjin asks, smoothing his hand over Jeongin’s hair. 

Jeongin shakes his head, not letting go of Felix. “Nope. We’re best friends now.” 

“Best friends? Wow, don’t make me jealous,” Hyunjin jokes. 

Kyunghee is watching the whole thing with the purest expression of happiness that Hyunjin has, maybe, ever seen. 

“Well, you kids don’t have too much fun, okay? I should be heading home,” she says, bidding them farewell and giving Jeongin a big hug and kiss on the cheek. 

Nights with Felix are so much easier, and Hyunjin realizes that he had forgotten what it was like to not be a single parent. He has time to do some tidying up and get laundry started, all before Jeongin even has his bath. Felix offers to put the other load of laundry in the washer while Hyunjin bathes Jeongin and gets him into his pajamas. Chores that would normally take him all weekend are more than halfway done by the time the three of them are setting up camp on the couch. They’d promised Jeongin a movie night, and he picks The Secret Life of Pets. 

Jeongin is fast asleep before Duke and Max even meet Snowball. It has Felix cooing in adoration before pausing the movie so Hyunjin can scoop his little body up and carry him to bed. 

“I’ll be right back,” Hyunjin whispers softly. Felix nods, mouthing that he’s going to get changed anyhow. 

Hyunjin walks Jeongin to his room, carefully laying him down and tugging his blanket over top of him. 

Jeongin cracks his eyes open sleepily, and Hyunjin curses internally. 

“Dad?” Jeongin’s small voice whispers into the dim bedroom lighting. 

“What is it, bug?” Hyunjin asks, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing his hand over Jeongin’s hair. It’s almost time for a haircut again. 

“Will Felix be here when I wake up?” 

Hyunjin smiles. “You know, he just might. We could make breakfast together, the three of us… if you’d like?” 

Jeongin yawns, but nods slowly. His eyes blink heavily. 

“Do you like Felix like you liked mom?” 

That question makes Hyunjin’s stomach sink to the floor. He’s panicking immediately, not knowing what to even say. He stares at the star on the space-themed rug under his foot. 

“It’s okay if you do, daddy,” Jeongin yawns again. He curls onto his side. “I like him like I like mommy, too.” 

His last sentence comes out slowly, draped in exhaustion. Hyunjin doesn’t have the opportunity to even formulate a reply, because Jeongin is asleep again. He sighs, leaning forward to press a kiss to Jeongin’s temple. 

“I think I like him more than I ever liked your mother,” Hyunjin confesses. Jeongin, of course, doesn’t hear it. 

He leaves Jeongin to his dreams, shutting his door as quietly as he possibly can. When he returns to the living room, his swirling thoughts are quieted by the sight of Felix on the couch. 

He’s wearing a light, baby blue silk pajama set. The shorts aren’t tiny, but they aren’t long either. They show off more of his legs than Hyunjin has seen yet, and his mouth fills with saliva at the view. The long sleeve shirt is buttoned almost to the top button, but Felix has left the top two undone. Slivers of his collarbones peek out just to torture Hyunjin. Felix hasn’t heard him coming from the hallway, and he’s scrolling through his phone with his legs curled onto the couch. 

He looks like perfection. He looks like he has always belonged in Hyunjin’s living room. He looks like the last missing touch to make everything feel complete. He makes Hyunjin feel complete, and that’s something he never felt with Jisoo. 

Hyunjin moves like a man completely possessed. He stands in front of Felix, who looks up at him now with the most gorgeous smile. 

“Did he wake back up?” Felix asks, likely noting the amount of time Hyunjin was away. 

“Yeah,” Hyunjin manages, and it comes out all types of needy. “But he’s asleep again.” 

Felix must hear it in his voice, because his pupils grow just a bit in size. He licks his lips, unfolding his legs. Hyunjin moves between them like clockwork, hands running over his smooth thighs. 

“He asked me if I like you like I liked his mom,” Hyunjin tells him. 

Felix’s eyes widen, and his mouth gapes just a little. “Oh… Hyunjin, I—“ 

“He said he likes you like he likes his mother too,” Hyunjin continues. Felix’s face relaxes into something sentimental. “But I like you more than I ever liked her, Felix. Fuck, I like you a lot more than I’ve ever liked anyone.” 

Felix gasps as Hyunjin’s hands travel a little higher up his thighs, pulling the silk shorts higher with them. 

“W-well that’s good,” Felix whispers. “Because I like you a lot too.” 

“Yeah?” Hyunjin teases, and his hands move to Felix’s hips. His fingers meet warm skin when they slip under the pajama shirt. 

“God, yes, fuck,” Felix sputters, legs parting wider seemingly on their own. His smaller hands find their way to Hyunjin’s hips, pulling him closer. “So much, Hyunjin. Like you so, so much.” 

“I know you wanted to finish the movie, but…” Hyunjin looks over his shoulder at the TV with a chuckle. 

“No,” Felix interjects, fingers clinging into Hyunjin’s shirt desperately. “If you don’t take me to bed right now, Hwang Hyunjin, I swear I’ll… I’ll…” 

“You’ll what? Hm?” Hyunjin pokes the fire. 

“Hyunjin,” Felix whines, and it comes out a little louder than any of their words have so far. Felix slaps a hand over his mouth with wide eyes. 

“It’s okay, trust me,” Hyunjin laughs. “That kid could literally sleep through a trainwreck.” 

Hyunjin laces the fingers of both his hands with Felix’s, tugging him up to stand. “Come on.” 

He can’t believe it’s real life when he lays Felix back on his bed, crawling over his body. He can’t believe it’s real, or how lucky he is. The luckiest guy in the entire world, because Felix is a vision. 

“Oh, this is comfy,” Felix sighs, melting into the mattress. “I could get used to this.” 

“Fuck, I hope you do,” Hyunjin whispers, eyes tracing every little detail of Felix’s face. “Now that I finally have you in my bed, I hope you never leave it.” 

Felix bites his bottom lip, warm fingers slipping under Hyunjin’s shirt and laying flat over his softly defined stomach. 

“Please tell me you still have those condoms?” Felix asks. It makes Hyunjin dip his head in laughter against Felix’s chest. 

“Of course I do, Lix. Why would I have used them?” 

“I don’t know!” Felix huffs. Hyunjin doesn’t have to look to see the embarrassment flushing his skin. “They can, like, expire and stuff—hah!”

Felix’s body arches in a beautiful way when Hyunjin shuts him up by sucking at one of his nipples through the silk of his shirt. He lays his tongue flat to rub at it before biting ever so gently. 

“Oh, fuck,” Felix whispers hoarsely. He already sounds wrecked, and they haven’t even kissed yet. 

Hyunjin teases at his other nipple for a moment before pulling back. He runs his hands all over Felix’s thighs again before cupping his butt and tugging their bodies closer together. They’re both hard already, and both of them groan when their hips meet. Hyunjin falls forward again, planting his hands beside Felix’s head. They share a look so full of emotion before their lips meet in a kiss that grows from hot to desperate in a matter of seconds. 

Their tongues tangle, teeth clacking clumsily and noses bumping softly. Felix sucks Hyunjin’s tongue into his own mouth greedily, moaning as he tugs Hyunjin’s hips harder against his own, erections grinding together deliciously. Hyunjin actually could get off just like this and have absolutely zero complaints. 

But that’s not what Felix wants, and he makes it abundantly clear when he pulls apart with hasty breathing. He licks at the mix of saliva on his lips. 

“Where are the condoms?” Felix asks bluntly. His pupils have overtaken the chocolate brown of his irises. 

“Impatient,” Hyunjin teases, kissing Felix again. He nips at his bottom lip, and Felix whines when he does it. 

“Yeah,” Felix huffs when they pull apart again. “Only because I’d like you to fuck me before I come in my pajama shorts just from kissing.” 

“You flatter me,” Hyunjin grins. He reaches for the nightstand he keeps lube and condoms in, retrieving what they need quickly. 

“Flattery or not,” Felix groans, tucking his thumbs into the elastic waistband of his shorts and shimmying them down his legs. “You’re so fucking hot, and I need you, Hyunjin.” 

Whatever retort is on the tip of his tongue dies instantly when he sees Felix’s bare legs and his cock curled angry against his hip bone. Felix is fighting with the buttons of his top, but his hands are shaking enough that it’s a struggle. 

“Here, let me,” Hyunjin says, gently knocking his hands away. He undoes the buttons much faster, pushing the silk shirt open and off his shoulders. Felix sits up to let it fall away, and Hyunjin has the air sucked from his lungs. All of the blood in his entire body rushes to his already impossibly hard dick. 

Felix is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen in this world. Freckles are scattered randomly all along his honey skin, and Hyunjin dives forward to kiss every single one of them on his stomach. Felix’s hands tangle in his hair with a loud gasp at the touch. 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, baby,” Hyunjin whispers into his skin like the world’s worst-kept secret. “You have no idea how lucky you make me feel.” 

Felix whimpers above him as Hyunjin places kisses lower and lower until he’s mouthing at the base of his cock. 

“Hyunjin— oh my god—“ Felix moans as quietly as he can manage when Hyunjin licks up the length of his dick. He swirls his tongue around the tip and wraps his lips around him. He sucks gently, knowing how close they both honestly already are. He bobs his head a couple of times before letting Felix’s cock fall from his mouth. He grips him with his hand, though, and teases at the slit with his tongue. It has Felix’s toes curling and his eyes squeezing shut. 

Hyunjin pulls away just as Felix’s thighs start to shake, and the blonde gasps. His hair sticks to his face a little with a light layer of sweat. 

The click of the lube bottle’s cap feels like it’s at max volume, and Hyunjin can hardly warm the clear liquid fast enough. He teases at Felix’s hole, both of them moaning at the feeling. His middle finger pushes past the muscle of Felix’s rim, sinking into him slowly. Felix tosses his head back into the mattress, wildly messing up his hair. He fists the sheets beside his head with both hands for something to hold onto. 

“Is this okay?” Hyunjin asks. 

Felix nods, mouth falling open as Hyunjin’s finger slips in all the way. He lets him adjust until his rim isn’t fluttering so much, then he gives a shallow thrust just to test. 

“Please,” Felix moans instantly, rolling his hips to meet Hyunjin’s movements. Hyunjin fucks one finger into him until he’s certain Felix is ready for another. 

Hyunjin adds more lube, teasing his two fingers now. There’s less tension, and they slip inside easier. Felix gasps again, wrapping his arms under the bends of his knees and pulling his legs up farther. The angle has Hyunjin brushing his prostate on the first thrust of his fingers. Felix jolts, moaning loudly for a mere second before biting down on the side of his hand. 

“I wanna hear you, baby,” Hyunjin whispers. “You’re not gonna wake him up.” 

Felix’s skin is flushed from arousal, a little shiny with sweat. His eyes fall nervously on the bedroom door. “But what if—“ 

Hyunjin drives his fingers right into Felix’s prostate and massages the bundle of nerves harshly. It makes Felix scream in the back of his throat, biting into his hand again. His eyes screw together tightly, but Hyunjin lets up. He focuses on opening Felix up now, scissoring his fingers apart and relishing in the small noises it earns him. 

“Hyun— I’m… I’m ready, please,” Felix pants. “I need you inside of me now.” 

“Bossy,” Hyunjin laughs, but it comes out rough and not amused at all. He’s so fucking turned on. Hyunjin stands, ripping at his clothes like they’re burning him. He fumbles around for a condom, making quick work of gliding it down his cock. Felix watches with hunger in his eyes, dragging his gaze up Hyunjin’s body until their eyes meet again. 

No words are said, because Hyunjin crawls forward and immediately lines himself up. He jostles Felix’s legs in his arms, earning a pitched noise from the blonde when the movement allows the tip of his cock to slip past Felix’s rim. Felix’s body falls compliant, and his mouth falls open but no noises come out. 

“You’re good?” Hyunjin checks again. 

Felix nods. “Perfect,” he exhales. “Your cock is so fucking perfect.” 

Hyunjin is aware he doesn’t have the thickest cock ever— Jisoo reminded him of that nearly every time they had sex. But he is longer than average, and that point is clear as he slides forward more and more. 

“Hyun… Hyunjin—fuck,” Felix whimpers, “I’m not-n-not…”

“Baby,” Hyunjin groans, “if it feels good then come.”

Felix places a firm hand on his chest, shaking his head. With a strength that shocks Hyunjin, Felix shoves him onto his back and the blonde wastes no time straddling him. Felix repositions Hyunjin’s cock and slides back onto it. 

“I don’t want to yet,” Felix sighs. It’s breathy and wrecked and it drives Hyunjin completely crazy. Almost as crazy as when Felix starts rolling his hips, the grip of Felix’s body around his cock pulling choked-off moans out of his throat. 

Hyunjin grips Felix’s waist, helping to guide his movements a little faster. “I don’t know how you’re real. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.” 

Felix steadies himself with shaky hands on Hyunjin’s stomach. He rolls his head on his shoulders with a loud gasp at a particularly good angle. All Hyunjin can do is watch, losing the last of his grip on sanity as he drowns under the waves of pure infatuation for the man above him. 

Felix doesn’t say anything back, because he simply can’t. He’s clearly lost in the feelings of blinding pleasure, his movements growing sloppy and lazy. He’s huffing in frustration at the need for more, but the failure of his burning thighs to comply. 

Hyunjin sits up on his elbow, pulling Felix down to him for a kiss. Felix melts into it, and Hyunjin knows he’s close. They both are. He takes over the kiss, licking into Felix’s mouth and swallowing all of his moans as he guides him onto his back again. Hyunjin’s hips fuck into him at a fast pace now, and Felix can hardly breathe. He’s laying back, legs spread and he’s got his hands fisted into the sheets on either side of his head. His body jostles with every forceful thrust. Hyunjin reaches a hand to touch his neglected cock, but Felix bats it away twice. 

“I’ll come if you do that,” he nearly sobs, and Hyunjin huffs out a laugh. It makes Felix giggle too, but the sound pitches into whines and moans. 

Hyunjin folds Felix’s knees up into his chest, fucking him as hard and deep as he can. It only takes seconds like this, skin slapping loudly together, for Felix to come between their bodies. It’s a mess on his abdomen, pooling into his bellybutton. The grip of Felix’s body around Hyunjin gets impossibly tighter, and Hyunjin lets out a choked sound before releasing into the condom with a string of needy sounds. 

They stay still for a moment, catching their breaths together before Hyunjin helps Felix move his legs free from the way they got crumpled up into his chest. Hyunjin reaches for his discarded shirt, using it to wipe up the mess all over Felix’s stomach. He gently turns him onto his stomach then, pulling out and racing off to the bathroom. He returns quickly with a warm towel, swiping up the mess of lube from between Felix’s cheeks. 

Felix is deceased, lying with one leg bent at the knee and the other straightened. Hyunjin brushes his hair from his face, placing kisses on his temple, then his cheek, then his lips. 

“Mmm, you killed me,” Felix groans into the pillow. “I don’t think anyone’s ever fucked me that good.” 

“Anyone, hm?” Hyunjin teases. “How many other guys do I have to be jealous of?” 

“None of them,” Felix answers almost instantly. He smiles that pretty fucking smile that claws at Hyunjin’s heart. “I never felt this way about any of them.” 

“And how’s that?” Hyunjin asks, an eyebrow raised. 

“Like I might really, truly love them,” Felix confesses, and it’s not shy. It’s open and it’s honest and it’s a mirror of what Hyunjin has been feeling for a while now. 

Hyunjin places a finger under his chin and kisses him. Felix wants more, so they kiss again. And again. Hyunjin pulls away before it can get too heated. 

“Let’s shower and get some sleep,” Hyunjin whispers, running his fingers through Felix’s soft, blonde hair. “I promised Jeongin we’d make breakfast with him in the morning.” 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

“Babe, the left side is hanging, like, an entire four inches lower than the right side.” 

Changbin turns to Seungmin with a pained smile. “Then, babe, could you stay here and tell me when it’s even this time instead of running off?” 

“Hey, no fighting!” Kyunghee scolds the two of them as she waltzes by. “Jeongin isn’t going to notice anything besides that cake Felix made, anyhow.” 

The weather, thankfully, is cooperating. They have Jeongin’s party set up in the courtyard of Hyunjin’s parents’ hanok. It’s a beautiful spring day, with birdsong loud in the trees surrounding the home. 

More cars are pulling up, and there are some parents with their kids from Jeongin’s daycare greeting Kyunghee. Felix arrives with his roommate; a handsome, muscular man with wavy black hair. 

“Yongbok!” Kyunghee calls out, and Felix smiles as he returns her greeting. She turns, hollering for Seungmin and Changbin. 

“This is Felix, Hyunjin’s… uhm,” Kyunghee glances at Felix, not sure how to title him. 

“I’m Hyunjin’s boyfriend,” Felix takes the initiative, bowing politely to Seungmin and Changbin who give each other a smug look. “And this is my roommate, Chris.” 

“Wait… Christopher?” Changbin asks, recognition clear in his voice. 

“Christopher?” Seungmin butts in, tone dramatic. “You two know each other?” 

“Yeah, he’s the Australian guy I met at the gym a month or so ago,” Changbin mentions. 

“Oh, you met at the gym, huh?” Seungmin snaps. 

Chris holds his hands up in defense. “Woah, woah. I swear it’s not like that! In fact, you’re all Changbin ever talks about.” 

Seungmin seems to relax a little at that, but he still casts a scowl at Changbin. Changbin simply smacks a wet kiss to his cheek, and doesn’t miss the tiny twitch of Seungmin’s lips. 

Hyunjin had told Felix to invite Minho and Jisung too, and they show up very shortly after Felix and Chris do. Felix introduces them to everyone, and Kyunghee says she’s honored to meet them. They learn that Kyunghee has been donating weekly at church to the fundraiser for the shelter. 

Seungmin receives a text message and his eyes light up. He claps his hands loudly. “They’re arriving in two minutes everyone!”

All the guests migrate to the courtyard, where there is a large table of presents and another table with the Bluey-themed cake that Felix made from scratch. Soon enough, Hyunjin and Jeongin come walking through the sliding door. 

“Happy birthday, Jeongin!” Everyone cheers together, and Jeongin looks up at his father, huge eyes filled with amazement. 

Jeongin lets go of Hyunjin’s hand and runs immediately to his grandma, wrapping her in a hug as all the guests begin to mingle again. What no one expects is for Jeongin to seek out Felix immediately after, but that’s exactly what he does. 

Felix looks at Hyunjin like he might cry, but he squats down to Jeongin’s level. The boy wraps his arms around Felix’s neck and hugs him again. 

“Daddy told me you’d be here!” He cheers, squealing as Felix hoists him up into his arms. 

“Of course, Innie. I wouldn’t miss your super cool party for anything!” Felix giggles, and Hyunjin watches them with nothing but adoration. Jeongin is so happy, and that’s all Hyunjin could ever ask for. 

He scans the crowd, and he’s shocked that Jisoo’s absence wasn’t the first thing he noticed. Jeongin hasn’t seemed to notice yet either, as Felix lets him down to go greet his friends from daycare. 

“You look gorgeous,” Hyunjin greets him, wrapping Felix into a side hug and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Felix looks up at him, smiling, and Hyunjin has figured by now that he’ll always react to that smile as if it’s the first time. 

“And you look like someone I want to sneak off with,” Felix jokes, earning him a chuckle from Hyunjin as they approach all of their friends who are now mingling. 

The party goes smoothly, and Felix’s cake is as delicious as it is adorable. Jeongin gets way too many new toys, so Hyunjin tells him he has to pick out ten toys to donate when they get home. 

Hyunjin feels a million different emotions when he watches his mother helping his father down the steps and into the courtyard. He hasn’t seen the man in months, and he looks like a withered shell of what Hyunjin remembers him to once be. He can’t be without his walker, and he has an oxygen line under his nose. Kyunghee helps him to a bench under one of the trees to shade him from the sun. 

“Will you be mad if I go over?” Felix asks him, and Hyunjin shakes his head. He’s not Felix’s keeper, and he figures Felix will get the cold shoulder from his father anyhow. 

Minutes go by, and Hyunjin gets wrapped up into a conversation with Chris, Changbin and Jisung. The three of them apparently know each other. Chris and Changbin from the gym, which apparently Jisung goes to as well but much less often due to his busy schedule. 

Hyunjin glances over to where his father is, and he sees Felix sitting with him now. The blonde holds both of his fathers hands, and the old man looks downward as they speak. Kyunghee stands with one hand on her husband’s shoulder. Hyunjin wonders what they’re even speaking about.

The guests begin to trickle down, thanking Hyunjin and Kyunghee for inviting them. Soon all that’s left is Hyunjin, his parents, Jeongin, Felix and their group of friends. They all sit around before helping to clean up. Jeongin is running through the last of the bubbles spitting out of the bubble machine. 

The silhouette of a woman appears from the sliding glass door, and Hyunjin looks up to see Jisoo. She never looks any different than the last time he sees her. She’s still as beautiful as the day they got married, and she holds such a resemblance to Jeongin’s facial features. 

She tucks her long hair behind her ear as she approaches Hyunjin. 

“I’m sorry I’m late,” she says quietly. “I just didn’t want to cause a scene. Did he have a good party?” 

“He did,” Hyunjin nods. He glances at the gift bag in her hands. “He’s over with the bubbles if you want to say hi.” 

She nods, making her way over to Jeongin, whose face contorts with joy when he sees Jisoo. He screams happily, running to her. 

“She doesn’t seem so bad,” Felix whispers, returning to Hyunjin’s side as they watch her. 

“I loved her once,” Hyunjin shrugs, “or something like that.” 

“Uhm…” Felix mumbles. He laces their fingers together shyly. “Your father wanted to talk to us at some point.” 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, but figures now is the best time they’ll have. Jeongin is distracted if anything goes wrong. 

Felix leads him over, pulling up a couple of chairs. Kyunghee is already sitting beside her husband. 

“Felix said you had something to say?” Hyunjin starts, and his tone is cold. Felix shoots him a look that is partially annoyed, but partially sympathetic. 

His father takes a look at his mother, folding her hands into his. She gives him an encouraging nod. 

“I wanted to say that I’m sorry, Hyunjin,” his father says. His voice is quiet, and Hyunjin knows he couldn’t make it any louder if he wanted to. The disease has wiped any and all energy from his body. “I know I wasn’t the best father to you after… well, you know. And that wasn’t right. I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to say it.”

Hyunjin swallows the ball of emotion that forms in his throat. He will not cry over this, over something that should have been acknowledged over a decade ago. Felix squeezes his hand where their fingers are intertwined and Hyunjin looks at him. Felix is reassuring, supportive, and everything Hyunjin has ever needed. 

“I know you’ve already met, but this is Felix,” Hyunjin says, turning back to his father who nods in affirmation. “He’s my boyfriend, and both Jeongin and I love him very much.” 

His father nods, and his face spills his guilty emotions everywhere. 

“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy, Jinnie,” his father says. He hasn’t called Hyunjin that name since he was fourteen. It cuts like a knife at Hyunjin’s heart. “And I can see now that you are. It’s my one dying wish in this life, and it couldn’t make me happier to see it.” 

Kyunghee has tears streaming down her cheeks, and Felix is no better off. Hyunjin falls victim, feeling one single hot tear slip down his cheek. He wipes it away quickly with his thumb. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, and his dad gives him another nod. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to love me.” 

“I do, son. I always have. I’m sorry I couldn’t show it,” his dad says, looking up to calm his eyes from overflowing. Hyunjin is overwhelmed with a feeling he never thought he’d feel for his father; forgiveness. He surges forward and wraps his dad in a gentle hug, careful not to disturb his line of oxygen. Kyunghee slaps a hand over her mouth before she can sob loudly, and Felix moves to give her a hug as well. 

It’s the dumbest, fairytale moment of reconciliation. If Hyunjin didn’t know any better, he’d think there were cameras somewhere, filming for a movie. He has always thought that moments like these only happened in fiction, but he’s here right now and everything feels so perfect. 

He introduces Felix to Jisoo, and she is incredibly supportive. She thanks Felix for being in Jeongin’s life too, noting how much Jeongin just told her about him in such a short amount of time. 

Jisoo lets them know that she’s taken a different position with another airline. She will be stationed permanently in Seoul now, and she’s only servicing regional and domestic flights. She’ll never be gone longer than a weekend, starting in a couple of months. 

“I know I’ve been absent a lot… but I’d like to be in Jeongin’s life more. You have a right to say no, though, and I’ll understand,” she says. “I’ve met someone recently, and it’s made me think about settling down. He would love to meet Jeongin down the line, too.” 

The Hyunjin from weeks ago, the Hyunjin he was pre-Felix, would have been bitter and spiteful. He would have said no, just to hurt her. Because the Hyunjin from before would have been hurt by her right now. But they both know they were never in love, not in the way that Hyunjin burns to ashes in hot flames for Felix. He sees it now, he truly knows it now. And that allows him to feel happy for Jisoo, because he could sense something about her was different from the moment she arrived. She’s changed too, just like he has. 

“I think Jeongin would be really excited to hear that,” Hyunjin says. Jisoo looks relieved and altogether thankful. 

🌼🌼🌼🌼

It’s later that evening, after Jeongin has boxed up twenty toys to take to church in the morning and place in the donations pile, when Jeongin approaches Felix with a small little box. 

“Innie, what’s this? I thought you were grabbing snacks with your dad?” Felix giggles, pulling Jeongin up into his lap. 

They have The Princess and the Frog ready to go on the TV. Hyunjin declared they needed snacks first, asking Jeongin to come help him pick some out in the kitchen. 

“I know it’s my birthday, but I wanted to give you something too,” Jeongin explains. He pushes the little box into Felix’s hands. 

When he opens it, a shiny silver key lays inside. Felix’s heart stops beating for a moment, and he looks around to try and find Hyunjin. 

“Daddy and I want you to be here more than you already are. Maybe soon you can live here, like mommy used to!” 

Felix pulls Jeongin into his chest with a crushing hug. “Oh my god, you sweet boy.” 

Hyunjin appears around the corner. He has pepero and popcorn, and a smirk on his damn face. 

“Please tell me that’s a yes?” Hyunjin asks, acting like he’s bracing for impact. 

“Well it’s not a no, you idiot,” Felix says through his tears. Hyunjin sets the snacks down and joins the group hug. 

Jeongin, again, is fast asleep before the masquerade ball even happens. 

“I think that you moving in with us would be the best birthday present to him ever,” Hyunjin whispers. He’s patting over Jeongin’s hair where he’s sleeping against his thigh. 

“Are you sure it would be a present for him, or for you?” Felix asks, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. It doesn’t last, and he breaks into laughter brighter than a star imploding. 

When Hyunjin puts Jeongin to bed a little later, he lingers. Jeongin didn’t wake up this time. He’s thoroughly exhausted from his party. Hyunjin watches him sleep.

Hyunjin doesn’t know how soon Felix will actually want to move in. He doesn’t know if Felix will even use the key much right away. All he knows is that he’s so fucking in love with the blonde who’s waiting for him in his bed. Hyunjin is happy, and Jeongin is too. And that’s enough for right now. 

On Sunday mornings, they’ll pray. But outside of that, they’ll spend all of their time building this little life together.