Chapter Text
“How do I look?” Jessica Day asked as she made a theatrical entrance into the living room she shared with her best friend, Cece Parekh. She strutted out of her bedroom, wiggling her eyebrows and fingers in an attempt at jazz hands. Cece looked up from her phone to evaluate the Halloween costume that adorned her best friend, and when her eyes caught on the vibrant blue paint that covered Jess, her eyebrows jumped to her hairline.
“Babe… What are you wearing?” Cece asked. She slowly powered off her phone and stood from the couch. Jess watched as Cece looked her up and down before shaking her head in disbelief.
“I’m Megamind!” Jess said enthusiastically. She started to shimmy toward Cece until she held up her hands for Jess to stop.
“I need… less of that. What happened to going as sexy nurses with me?” Cece asked. Jess sighed in exasperation and gripped the shoulders of her best friend, giving her a good shake.
“Cece. We were sexy nurses last year and the year before. I did it with you for the first time because you said it was important we stand out our freshman year. Then I did it with you last year because you said you needed to look good for meaningless rebound sex when you broke up with Kyle. What could possibly be your reasoning for being sexy nurses again?”
“It just works! Boys will let you get away with just about anything if you’re wearing a good-looking costume,” Cece said with a smirk. Jess crossed her arms and scoffed.
“What, you don’t think Megamind is good-looking? You don’t think I can get laid?” she asked. Cece’s smirk grew, and it was her turn to put her hands on Jess’s shoulders.
“Jess, you are my smart, funny, beautiful bestie. But Megamind is not. So, no. I don’t think that insanely blue costume is going to get you laid tonight.”
Jess rolled her eyes, feeling her stubbornness grow. She was going to wear her costume, gosh darn it. She was going to be the sexiest Megamind to ever exist, and it was going to get her the action she deserved.
“Oh, you’re on Cece. You’re awn! I’m going to find a nice young man to lay me down and make sweet love to my blue body,” Jess said, crossing her hands in front of her and pulling them back to punctuate her point.
“For the record, I didn’t ask for this,” Cece said in a flat tone while raising her eyebrows. Jess ignored the expression and twirled her way back to her room. Movement was kind of hard due to the size of her papier-mache head, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her.
“Too late, the plan is already in motion!” Jess yelled before sitting back at her desk to add the finishing touches to her costume. From the other room, she could hear Cece sigh through her thin walls. After Jess listened to footsteps shuffle to the other side of their small apartment, Cece responded, saying,
“Let me finish getting ready, then we can go.”
The two girls sat on opposite sides of the apartment, readying themselves for their junior year Halloween party. Determination coursed through Jess’s veins, and eagerness settled in Cece’s. While the girls were almost polar opposites, they somehow remained best friends for the majority of their lives, even managing to end up at the same college as dormmates, and later roommates in a small apartment off campus.
While Cece benefited from her outgoing personality and good looks, landing her invites to multiple parties and opportunities of various kinds, Jess stuck to her studies. Her main ambition was to become an elementary school teacher, and while she enjoyed watching her best friend have fun, she couldn’t quite make herself partake in the constant partying. She much preferred staying in to work on arts and crafts or watch Dirty Dancing for the millionth time.
However, every once in a blue moon, she could be persuaded by a very convincing Cece to leave her studies or whatever current knitting project she was working on. That night was the first time in a while that Jess was going out, and she was going to make it count. A crisp breeze drifted through an open window, letting in the faint smell of rain and autumn leaves. At the nostalgic scent, Jess grinned in her mirror as a giant blue head grinned back at her. Watch out, world, here I come, she thought.
***
The hot and sticky air at the party clung to Jess’s blue skin, making her feel itchy all over, even her scalp, which she could do nothing about in fear that she would somehow mess up the costume. She bopped her head to the loud music, feeling like she was getting a neck workout in. She wondered about once she took the heavy papier-mache off, if it would feel like she had any head at all. She already longed for the moment when it would be free again, but she was determined to stand behind her costume decision. Her expression must have betrayed her though because once she made eye contact with Cece, her friend met her gaze with a knowing smile.
“What’s the matter, Jess? Feeling a little warm?”
“Warm? Please. I’m hot. As in, physically hot. Attractive hot,” Jess bit back. Cece barked out a laugh and patted her friend’s cheek affectionately.
“Well, if that’s the case, I think it’s about time you found one of those eligible bachelors you were talking about. Take your pick. They all look like they are dying to get in Megamind’s pants,” she said. Jess huffed and looked around. She met the stares of a few people who ended up immediately looking away. She fought to hide a wince as she turned her gaze back to Cece.
“No one ever said I couldn’t have a drink first.”
“If you can’t handle it, there’s no shame in calling it quits,” Cece said with a smirk. Jess narrowed her eyes at Cece and flicked her.
“Yes, there is. And I’m not even close to calling it quits. I still believe I’m quite the bombshell,” Jess replied. As she spoke, she watched a man their age walk past Cece and brush her shoulder with intention. She offered him a coy smile before turning back to Jess.
“Right. Well, in the meantime, I’m also going to take advantage of the perks of my costume. Text me if you need me,” Cece said. She blew Jess a kiss and disappeared into the crowd after that particular man.
Jess sighed before making a beeline for the drinks table. She aggressively snagged a random seltzer and all but ripped the tab off the top. She took a rather large swig as she surveyed her potential options. No one seemed to want to make eye contact with her. It could have been because they didn’t like her costume, or because they weren’t sure where her forehead ended and her actual face began. Or maybe it was because they were all secretly in love with her and were just too nervous. She was going to go with that option.
Leaning against the table, Jess continued to watch the crowd. She attempted to smile at a few men who approached the drink table, but once she made them the subject of her attention, they all seemed to change their minds about getting a drink. Her mood began to sour by the time the 5th person walked up, and she knew she needed to be ambitious if she was ever going to win her debate with Cece.
Jess eyed her next victim as he approached. When he got close, she stepped to his side and offered her widest smile. The man, not seeming to notice her right away, did a double-take before yelping slightly. She gritted her teeth but kept the smile plastered to her face as she stuck out her hand in his direction.
“Hi! I’m Megamind!”
The man stared at her with a bewildered expression for a few moments. She almost thought he was going to try to sneak away, but he eventually let out a breath and answered her.
“Yeah. I kinda guessed that already,” he said. Jess clenched her jaw even more and fought the urge to grab his collar and yell: JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING! She was hoping for more of a reaction.
“Well, who are you?” she asked in her kindest voice. The man finally turned fully toward her to shake her hand before quickly shoving his hands in his pockets. She was somewhat pleased at the slight improvement of the conditions. She had more of his attention.
“I’m Nick,” the guy, Nick, said. She laughed slightly and shook her head.
“No, I mean, what are you supposed to be?” she said, gesturing to his very vague costume.
“Nick,” he repeated. She blinked and regarded him with a blank stare.
“You didn’t dress up?” she asked slowly. He turned his gaze longingly to the alcohol table before turning back and sighing.
“I’m really only here for the beer,” he admitted and shrugged. Jess gaped at him, making the executive decision to insert herself in his business.
“Where’s your creativity? Your excitement? Your whimsy?” she asked incredulously. She took another long swig from her can, if only to help her sit with the fact that someone didn’t get a thrill over the costume part of Halloween. If Jess was being honest, it was her absolute favorite aspect of her favorite Holiday.
“Whimsy’s for girls,” Nick said plainly. He finally turned away from Jess and walked to a minifridge against the wall to swipe a cold beer. She stood where she was standing, and to her surprise, he found his way back to her. A grin grew slowly on her face, and she decided right then that this was the guy for her experiment. She was going to work her magic. She took one last big sip of her seltzer and chucked it in a nearby garbage can, not bothering to look away from Nick in front of her. He watched her with a slightly terrified expression on his face as he brought the beer bottle up to his lips. Once he took a gulp and pulled it away from his mouth, she wrapped a blue hand around the bottle and pulled it toward her. He gasped a little as she then brought the drink to her lips and took a swig.
“What are you doing!? Never touch a man’s beer!” Nick protested. Jess ignored his reaction and batted her eyes. She brought her free hand up to his hair and attempted to twirl the short strands in her sticky, blue fingers.
“Did you know that sharing this drink is basically the same thing as kissing?” she asked, trying to force as much seduction in her tone as she could. However, it seemed to be having the opposite effect of what she wanted. His eyes widened, and he grunted slightly, starting to tiptoe backwards into the abyss of people. A surge of desperation coursed through her, and she grabbed his shirt with one fist. She was going to be straight to the point. No more tomfoolery.
“Do you want to make out?" she asked, speaking so quickly it sounded like one long word. Nick’s eyes widened even more. He kind of reminded Jess of a turtle with the way he pulled his head back and hiked his shoulders up to his ears. She almost laughed before she remembered her intentions. She waited impatiently, eyes darting between his at lightning speed. He trailed his gaze down her face and then the rest of her body before bringing it back up to meet her eyes. Finally, he snatched his beer back from her to take a long drink. When he was done, he stared blankly at her before shrugging casually.
“Sure, why not?”
It took a moment for his words to set in, but when they finally did, Jess fist pumped the air and did a little dance.
“Yes! Take that, Cece!”
Before he could react to her enthusiasm, she wrapped her hand in the front of his shirt once more and dragged him to a nearby couch where a couple was already on the verge of making out. They were almost to the furniture when one of her chunky black boots caught on her cape, and she tumbled forward, pulling Nick with her. They both yelped as she landed face-first in the cushions, and Nick collapsed next to her. When she pulled her head away, she noticed a big blue stain on the fabric. She cringed and sat in front of it before he could notice. Letting out a quick breath, she scanned the crowd, noticing Cece dancing with a pale man with dark hair. Like always, she was completely and utterly out of his league. But she seemed to be having fun. Jess managed to catch her eye, and she gestured as subtly as she could in Nick’s direction. Cece raised an eyebrow with an impressed expression. She nodded in approval, then went back to her dancing. Jess plastered a smile on her face and turned back to Nick, hoping he didn’t notice the little exchange. He just sat there, scratching his stubble while chugging his beer.
When he noticed she was staring at him, he turned his attention to her and put his beer down. She took that as her cue to get started, and she leaned in. Apparently, she did so too fast, and she clonked her big forehead on Nick. Immediately, she reared her head back and regarded him with a sheepish grin. He grimaced and brought his cold glass to rest on his hurting head.
“That thing’s surprisingly solid,” he said.
“Sorry, we can try again,” she said, tilting her head back slightly. She attempted to move forward again with her chin tilted up, giving Nick a straight view up her nostrils. He frowned and backed away from her incoming noggin.
“Ew. Now you just look weird,” he said. Jess sighed dramatically and pulled back.
“That’s where you draw the line?” she asked, crossing her arms. He took another swig of his drink and shrugged.
“I’m a simple man,” he said. Jess groaned and let her neck get some much-needed rest by dropping her head to the back of the couch. She stared at the ceiling, which held floating red and green lights and a disco ball. She wasn’t going to be able to kiss him, only because her costume physically prevented her from doing so, not because he wasn’t interested. A smile grew on her blue lips.
“Theoretically, if we were able to make out successfully, it wouldn’t bother you that I was dressed as Megamind?” She asked. She heard Nick shift in his seat slightly as she continued to stare at the multicolored ceiling.
“Not really, no. A girl’s a girl,” he said honestly. Jess finally sat up and beamed at him.
“You are so right, Nick. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to tell those exact words to my best friend,” she said. She stood up, wobbling slightly as she adjusted for the weight of her head and added,
“It was an absolute pleasure meeting you. Thanks for your service!”
She grabbed his hand one last time and gave it a solid shake. He just stared at her with a slight hint of intrigue but mostly confusion as she walked away. Her voice cut through the music as she yelled for Cece, ready to share her findings.