Work Text:
“Dan?”
“Phil.”
“Are we soulmates?”
Dan’s brain buffers. “What?”
“You’re gonna die,” Phil says right as the giant wall crushes Sonic. Dan squints at the screen without really looking at it, still trying to process the absurd bullshit Phil just spat out.
Dan has learned over the course of their relationship he doesn’t know when began that Phil is into the soulmate trope. Dan, however, finds the idea of any red string, particularly one sewn to him without his consent, even if it was for his own good or whatever, frustrating and mildly repulsive.
And the concept of him and Phil being soulmates? “That’s insulting.”
“Huh? What’s insulting?”
“Saying we’re soulmates. It’s insulting.”
Phil looks extremely confused.
“The only stupid red string involved here,” says Dan as he haphazardly throws the controller into the couch cushions, “is the one I forcibly tied us up in. If I didn’t stalk you on Twitter months ago, this–” he gestures to the space between them “–would not be happening right now. Saying we were ‘destined by the universe’ or whatever to come together is sappy and dumb and an insult to the lengths I went to to break whatever fucking fate there is and make this happen.”
Phil’s jaw drops. Dan goes back to Sonic.