Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

[Image description: Stephen Aleksiev's player profile on the Montreal Voyageurs website. It states he is #44, LW, and on the Montreal Voyageurs. His height is 5'11", he weighs 190lbs, was born June 24, 1997 and is 22 years old, was born in Rockville, Maryland USA, Shoots left, and was drafted in 2016 to NYC as 9th overall draft pick specifically 1st round 9th pick. Also, graphic design is my passion]

Stephen Aleksiev fidgets with his hands as his new coach, the infamous Alexis Theriault, glowers down at him. 

The Montreal Voyageurs training camp begins in one week. Stephen got the keys to his new little apartment in Plateau just a few days ago after a whole lot of rental inquiries and conversations with would-be landlords that went nowhere. His new home is a relatively little thing attached to the back of his new landlord’s house, and objectively, is probably way too small for a professional hockey player. Stephen’s mom, who stared at the apartment in disbelief over Facetime, suspects it might be an illegal addition to the back of the house, stuck on like an afterthought in a wild attempt to glean some extra cash from desperate students and, well, hockey players, she guesses.

It was the only apartment that Stephen could find on short notice that was willing to rent to a guy who spoke approximately two words of French and had no prior rental history in Canada. The landlords, a middle-aged couple, also happen to be huge Voyageurs fans. They're the types to follow the team with an excruciating closeness, and apparently were very, very excited when they received an email inquiry from Stephen despite the fact that his new, bright blue Voyageurs jersey freshly christened with his lucky #44 and his surname has yet to touch his skin.

Technically, Stephen’s mom wrote the inquiry and handled the major aspects of the written conversation. Stephen had complained to her that landlords were either not responding to him, accusing him of being a scammer, or dropping the conversation entirely after a few emails. He assumed it was because they found another tenant, or maybe he was continuously making the critical error of doing some kind of faux-pas he wasn’t aware of that only exists in Quebec. His mom took over his email account and made magic happen. According to his mom (and his teachers, and his former classmates, some of his friends, and some of his former teammates, and his past coaches), Stephen Aleksiev cannot write to save his life. He tries his best, he promises! He just has a hard time spelling some words and making his sentence structure sound as smart as some other people can. He’s always had this problem. A very kind teacher in middle school tried his best to “fix” Stephen’s writing issues, but then Stephen’s family had to move to another town to get closer to a better rink and a better coaching team, you know, for Stephen’s future, and Stephen’s new teachers weren’t so inclined to pay special attention to the way Stephen had to slowly sound out every word he read on a page or the way he approached sentence diagramming like he was seeing a quantum physics problem for the first time. 

Then, of course, Stephen stopped attending “normal” school in the 10th grade, instead doing a perfunctory home-schooling program under the only partially-interested eye of his grandfather, a recent retiree originally from Bulgaria, who viewed English grammar as more of a vague suggestion than a series of rules. Stephen’s hockey skills have always far outweighed his academic ones, and his family was intent on taking advantage of that. His mother was just happy that Stephen had a clear path in life to rely on and was hellbent on making sure that Stephen’s future was secured. Secured it was: As a teenager, Stephen caught many eyes of people with excellent hockey connections. He ended up as 9th overall draft pick in 2016 and was drafted to the New York Admirals. 

In short: Stephen's education fell to the wayside. He can get by well enough, but he does take a bit of extra time to read words on a page (or a map, or a sign, or on his phone) and he still has a very difficult time with spelling. He is still functional in this world as long as the folks around him have the patience to parse out his mishmashes of your, you're, yur, yo'ur, and urs. 

Stephen Aleksiev also wants it known that typing on the phone is, like, really hard. The on-screen keyboards are just so small and Stephen’s fingers are, well, bigger than that. Sometimes, the screen feels so slippery, too. It’s really not his fault that sometimes he tries to press the A button on his phone, and the phone recognizes it as a combination of S and W and maybe, hopefully, an A. People usually understand what he is trying to get across, even when he forgets a letter or adds a few extra ones, so in the end, it’s all okay. He just doesn’t know how other people handle those itty bitty keyboards. He’s watched as guys significantly larger than him typed precisely-spelled words without making a singular mistake with the same admiration you’d have watching an acrobat perform a number for Cirque du Soleil.

Despite being part of the New York Admirals’ arsenal since 2016, Stephen did not get the opportunity to take part in the Admirals’ historic 2017 Stanley Cup win. Instead, Stephen spent the 2016-2017 season playing for the United States World Juniors team and receiving some additional training ahead of his debut on the Admirals’ main roster. Stephen’s introduction to the Admirals’ locker room came on the coattails of the kiss that was gasped-at across the entire hockey world, as well as some other general sports and LGBT+ publications that picked up the story. He made it to the main roster just in time to witness the immediate impact of his new captain Scott Hunter’s historic coming out, and, well, play for the team that was now known across the entire MLH as The Gay Team.

Stephen isn’t gay, he thinks, but it’s no problem being on The Gay Team. Listen, they had the fucking cup! And Scott’s a really nice guy who made sure Stephen settled in comfortably to the team. Scott’s boyfriend is nice, too. He had a lot of fun those two seasons he got to play with Scott Hunter and the other guys on the team, although he was a little disappointed by the little ice time he got. The coach didn’t seem to know what to do with Stephen, and was always complaining that Stephen didn’t properly read any emails or messages in the group chats. Stephen didn’t fault his coach for that; he always seemed like he had a lot on his plate. After Scott Hunter came out to the world, their coach seemed to constantly live in a state of drowning underneath media inquiries and memos from MLH executive administration.

Then, Stephen was traded suddenly to the Montreal Voyageurs on a calm day in July of 2019. 

He doesn't know why the Voyageurs want him, nor does he know why the Admirals wanted Dmitri Andropov over him. Stephen really thought he had something special going on over in New York. Sure, some of the guys complained about his communication skills, but Stephen Aleksiev is really good at hockey. One would think that hockey-playing would triumph over the importance of one’s ability to write well and talk to the media using big, impressive words.

Stephen Aleksiev lets his hockey do the talking for him. Apparently, The Montreal Voyageurs appreciate this more than the New York Admirals. 

“You'll like it there,” his old coach told him over the phone after the trade news broke. “Your…skillset will be more appreciated.”

Stephen didn't know what he meant by that. He hoped it meant that the Montreal Voyageurs would like him.

Let’s go back to Alexis Theriault, longtime coach of the Montreal Voyageurs and the man who is currently staring Stephen Aleksiev down like Stephen is a sudoku puzzle gone wrong.

“I wanted to meet with you before training camps begin to talk about our policy towards confidentiality,” Theriault says.

“Okay,” Stephen responds, totally not understanding what his new coach is talking about. 

“You may learn some information about…your teammates and their personal lives. This is all strictly confidential.”

Stephen just stares. “Personal stuff?”

Theriault blinks. “Right,” he says, like he’s just remembered something. “They told me, sorry, I forgot. Uhm,” he continues. “Kid, you're gonna learn some stuff about team members that you can't tell your friends, family, other players, and especially not the media.”

Stephen nods. “Okay, yeah, it’s good to respect people’s privacy.” 

“Right,” Theriault says, still wary, staring at Stephen in a way that makes Stephen feel like he is being assessed. “Maybe, I think, I should warn you, about uh, what you might learn, and what specifically you can’t talk about.”

“Okay,” Stephen says, nodding, before he realizes something. “But wait, you just said that it’s, uhm, conferdenshal.” 

“Yeah, but you need to know," his new coach says with a sigh. "You’ll be working with a gay team captain. Some guys are really uncomfortable with it, but I promise that Shane Hollander is very professional,” he continues with a grimace. “And you may not tell anyone that Hollander is gay, or anything else you might hear about his private life.”

Oh! That’s an easy one, Stephen thinks. Montreal is much more similar to New York than he expected. “I've had a gay captain before,” Aleksiev says, smiling and immediately more relaxed. He’ll fit right in! “They're just like everyone else.”

Theriault blinks “Right. Scott Hunter,” again, he grimaces as he says it, like the reminder is something unpleasant. 

Stephen blinks a few times, confused by his new coach’s response, before remembering something really important. “Wait, did you just out him? Scott always told us that outing is really bad and you shouldn’t do it. Did you get permission from Hollander to tell me this?” He says, stumbling only a teeny tiny bit over the word “permission.” He’s proud of that. 

While he never had to put into practice the various lessons he learned from Scott about privacy and, well, not outing people without their permission, Stephen knows the shape of those lessons like he knows his own two feet. Stephen was just so excited to be part of the Admirals that he told every person in his life about how amazing it was to work with Scott Hunter, how cool his boyfriend is, and how much he loved his new team. Scott pulled him aside one day after Stephen gave a particularly long statement to a media outlet Stephen had never heard of before, and began to encourage Stephen to be a little bit more careful about how much personal information about himself and his teammates he willingly gave out to the public. 

Coach Theriault just stares at him, half scrutinizing and half confused. 

That was Stephen Aleksiev’s first clue that the Montreal Voyageurs were a very different team than what he is used to. 

They're…weird.

Stephen feels mostly welcomed by his new team when he walks into his first training camp, which is practically buzzing and threatening to burst at the seams from the sheer excitement (and nervousness) radiating off of all of the new prospects. He isn’t nervous about the camp like some of the other guys here must be, as he knows that he won’t have to fight the other new players and prospects for a spot. His spot on the roster is self-evident.

The Montreal Voyageurs are fresh off of a shocking Stanley Cup win after squeaking their way into the playoffs by the skin of their teeth. Understandably so, the expectations and the stakes are high, especially for a fresh face like Stephen Aleksiev. Stephen is meant to replace Dmitri Andropov, an absolutely killer left winger, and Coach Theriault has already told Stephen that they plan to try him out in Andropov’s position instead of shifting the whole team around. This means Stephen has some great ice time to finally look forward to. As for the expectations that come with a reigning champion team, well, Stephen is used to being on a team fresh off of a cup win, so the heavy expectations that follow aren’t something he will really gawk at. He’s starting to form the accidental habit of being the new guy on the reigning champion roster.

Stephen had heard from Scott Hunter that the Voyageurs are a bit more traditional than the Admirals, which Stephen did not really understand what he meant by that. He’s also heard from some other players he knows that the Voyageurs tend to practice very, very intensely. More specifically, he heard that they’re “batshit fucking insane,” “way too serious,” and “a group of major assholes.” He has also heard his new captain, Shane Hollander, described as “a freak of nature,” “absolutely fucking terrifying,” “a hockey-playing machine,” and “I dunno, man, he gives dictator vibes. Have you heard about some of the shit he puts his team through? Keep your girl away from him because I’ve heard he’ll fuck your girl if he is mad at you. It’s like, a crazy punishment tactic. He might as well try medieval torture methods.”

Stephen doesn’t have a girlfriend and he now knows that Shane Hollander is gay, so he mostly ignores that last bit of advice. 

There are several things about the Voyageurs that came as a surprise to him. Firstly, he met several team members that seemed like really nice guys and not at all the insane assholes they were cracked up to be. Bouchard was really concerned about Stephen finding a good grocery store to shop at, and Laine told him about how he’s been exploring creative writing as a way to process “big emotions.” Boiziau popped by despite not being expected at the camp for the next few weeks, just to introduce himself and give Stephen some restaurant recommendations (and meet some of the other prospects and new guys, of course, but he introduced himself to Stephen first, which made Stephen very happy [Stephen happened to be physically closest to JJ when this happened, so all of this is coincidental]).

Something else unexpected was the way his new teammate Koch told him that his new captain is a (insert mean word here that Stephen Aleksiev does not like and should be banned from the team’s mouths, just like it is banned amongst the Admirals) and also, apparently, a traitor.

Stephen asked what that meant. Koch explained that their captain, Shane Hollander, “traumatized everyone” after they won the cup by revealing that he is “gay married” to Ilya ‘the most monstrous, cartoonishly-evil man in the world’ Rozanov.

This tidbit of information was accidentally confirmed by Coach Theriault, who swooped into the conversation like an angry hawk ready to rip a mouse apart with its bare claws, telling them to “be quieter” and “stop fucking talking about the marriage in public, fuck, half of these guys here are about to go back to the Laval Rockets and I don’t want the entire fucking AHL to know our dirty laundry.” 

Coach Theriault proceeded to immediately launch into a whispered diatribe about how Shane Hollander marrying “that man” and “bringing his weird personal shit into the locker room, like fuck, he literally dragged him in there and shoved it in everyone’s faces. It was my worst fucking nightmare” was the worst thing that could have ever happened to the team, but mostly to him personally. Apparently everything about “the Hollander situation” has made Theriault’s job about eight hundred times more difficult, which Stephen is pretty sure is an exaggeration. 

Even Koch rolled his eyes and told their coach “come on, it’s really, really fucking strange, sure… but it’s not like this is the end of the world. Everyone’s so dramatic about it.” Coach shook his head and grumbled something along the lines of "you don't even know the half of it." 

Yeah, the Voyageurs are really weird. 

Adjusting to the Voyageurs is both easy and very, very difficult.

Stephen Aleksiev quickly learns that Shane Hollander, the formidable hockey machine that strikes fear in goalies everywhere, the sleep paralysis demon of half of the league, the grim reaper holding a hockey stick...is so nice. He wants to shout it from the rooftops: Shane Hollander is such a cool guy! He took Stephen out for coffee after their first training camp day together and asked Stephen how he was settling in. He really wanted to hear about Stephen’s apartment hunt in Montreal and seemed pleasantly surprised when Stephen told him that he managed to find a nice place while he was still living in New York. Then, Stephen showed him pictures of it, and his new captain started making some weird faces and asking questions about the utilities and other important apartment stuff.

Shane didn’t seem to like the fact that Stephen’s “front door” was a DIY’d cutout of some backyard fencing with a door handle slapped on, which immediately led to a terrifying spiral staircase, which then led to Stephen’s actual front door. This isn't to even mention the fact that this hidden fence entrance was in an alleyway behind all of the houses on the street…

When Stephen told Shane that there isn’t any heating in the bedroom, just the kitchen (with a small bathroom connecting the two rooms together, like the apartment is a weird digestive system that follows a singular route of bedroom-bathroom-kitchen-door, so Stephen can wake up, shower and get dressed, eat breakfast, and head out the door in a perfectly straight line), which is fine because the apartment is really small so the heat from the kitchen will just travel into the bedroom anyways, well…

Shane 'The Reaper' Hollander himself offered to help Stephen find a nicer place, which is, wow. What a nice guy. 

Shane checks in on Stephen sometimes, and he does the same for all of the younger members of the team. He tells funny jokes. He gives very thoughtful criticism when someone isn’t doing well at practice. He notices when someone has an “off” day. He offers Bouchard shockingly detailed advice when Bouchard asks how to have anal sex. He sends Stephen apartment listings sometimes that look way too nice for Stephen to actually live in, but he appreciates the thought. He just, you know, doesn't really need for there to be a fountain in the courtyard. A bedroom with heat would do.

A lot of the Montreal Voyageurs seem to disagree with the idea that their captain is a good guy.

Over the past few weeks, Stephen has slowly pieced-together what has been going on with the Montreal Voyageurs in recent years: apparently, Shane Hollander told them that he is gay and has a husband sometime in late 2017. A lot of the guys felt weird having a gay man on the team, especially as their captain, but they mostly got over it because Shane is good at hockey. Apparently, they had a lot of bad games because they couldn’t figure out how to play together, like somehow the presence of a gay man on their team was distracting enough that they’d forget how to interact with him despite having many solid (and cup-winning!) seasons together.

Stephen thinks these guys are fucking stupid. They’re all here to play hockey. Shane Hollander is good at hockey. What’s the problem? 

Then, the team finally got their act together (partially because their captain wanted to whip them into shape, but also because their coach was, according to Drapeau, “breathing down our fucking necks to forget about all of our personal shit while he figured out what to do about ‘the distraction problem’”) and they finally had a really good season again.

So good, actually, that they won the cup! 

And then, according to the guys, who all have conflicting stories about what has since been named The Incident, Captain Shane Hollander revealed to them that his loving husband is none other than Captain Ilya Rozanov of the Ottawa Centaurs, formerly captain of the Boston Bears and longtime Voyageurs enemy #1. The Incident seems to have metaphorically taken the trust Shane Hollander rebuilt in his team brick-by-brick and smashed it against the pavement until it exploded into a bunch of tiny shards.

The team talks about this revelation like it’s the most blasphemous thing their captain could ever do to them, on par with publicly decrying their team and taking a shit on center ice right above their logo. They, as a whole, seem to have a lot of opinions about it. Some guys, the second Shane is out of earshot, loudly theorize that he might be the hockey antichrist resolute on ruining them. A few guys, such as Pike and Renaud, are of the opinion that it’s fine that their captain is gay married, but they’re a little unsure about the fact that it’s Known Piece Of Shit Rozanov (strangely enough, Stephen has gotten the vibe that Pike is really close with Shane, which makes his disdain for Shane's husband a little unsettling). Some are just confused, because how on earth do those two work together, and isn’t Rozanov straight? Two team members, as of the current moment, are vocal, no-holds-barred supporters: Laine and Boiziau. 

Well, and Stephen too. He’s trying to be supportive, but his vocal defense of his new, super nice captain has been shot down by the accusation that he’s been brainwashed by Scott Hunter, and then the conversation swung right back to the fact that Shane is apparently a manipulative monster for hiding such a crucial piece of information from them all for years.

Most shocking of all, their coach seems to really hate Shane. He’s asked the guys (well, most of them. He never asked Boiziau, Laine, Pike, Renaud, or even Stephen. Stephen only knows this because he overheard Coach talking to Comeau about it) to report to him any information they have about “the problem.” He wants to know every moment the team feels uncomfortable around Hollander, any time they suspect Hollander might be fixing a game in favour of Rozanov (said with so much vitriol that it sounded like it hurt Coach’s throat to say), or anything else suspicious about Hollander’s relationship with his own husband. He said something about building a new case, or that there was a case in the past but there was not enough information so they need more if they want to try again, or something like that. Apparently, it’s up to the team to help him in the crusade against Shane Hollander, now that Hollander broke the one rule he was given and decided to make his husband’s identity public knowledge within the confines of the Montreal Voyageurs’ facilities.

Stephen’s pretty sure there’s no rule in hockey against telling people your spouse’s identity, but what does he know?

Ilya Rozanov, for what it’s worth, seems like a really cool guy. Shane has been calling him while he’s with the team, which is very exciting (for Stephen specifically. A lot of the other guys are really upset about it). Rozanov talks to them all when Shane puts his phone on speakerphone mode. He talks to them all about the weather, funny stories from his team, things he’s seen online recently, and about how everyone’s wives and girlfriends are so much cooler and fun than them (Stephen asked Bouchard what that was all about, and Bouchard kindly informed him that Ilya Rozanov is a proud Montreal WAG and talks to everyone’s partners “like all the fucking time, it’s crazy and kind of impressive, I don’t know where he finds the fucking time to text them about Selling Sunset when he’s got so much going on”).

Rozanov is like having a second captain who flirts with your main captain, which is both a very odd experience yet exciting thing to witness (Laine keeps talking to Stephen about how wonderful it is to see true love exist in front of his eyes. He uses a lot of phrases that don’t make a lot of sense, but sometimes they rhyme like songs do, which makes them nice to hear). Rozanov recently gave Stephen some advice on coming to an abrupt stop on his skates, a specific angle change he can make on his right foot, that has magically solved a sore spot Stephen has had there for the past…who knows how long. 

Stephen can’t really explain it well, but it feels like he’s been dropped into the middle of a beautiful, loving family, except for the fact that the vast majority of his siblings fucking hate their parents and want nothing more than for them to retire to a remote corner of the world, never to be seen or spoken about again. Coach, for some reason, insists that Ilya Rozanov is the reason why the Voyageurs family dynamic is “a fucking disaster,” which is crazy, because from Stephen’s outsider perspective, the only thing destroying the family dynamic is the way half of the team refuses to accept the truth of their captain’s love life.

It all just sounds really unfair to Stephen. 

In December, a thought crashes into Stephen Aleksiev, red-hot and blindingly bright. He stumbles, both literally and figuratively, with the weight of the realization that has come over him with a flash-bang:

All of the best hockey players he knows are gay. There’s Scott Hunter, Shane Hollander, and Ilya Rozanov. The evidence is damning.

Well, Ilya Rozanov is bisexual, not gay. This is something he has repeated over and over again over the phone, intent on getting the Montreal Voyageurs to acknowledge the existence of bisexuality, but also, sometimes he calls what he does gay, so Stephen doesn’t really know where the line is drawn. Like, he sometimes uses the phrase “gay sex” to describe what he and Shane do, loudly and always when someone on the Voyageurs team makes it apparent that the concept of two men having sex is something disgusting and foreign, which Stephen assumes is because maybe it’s uncouth to say “bisexual sex.” He makes a mental note to google that later, or maybe ask Reddit.

Right, yeah, gay/bisexual sex. All of the best hockey players he knows have gay sex. 

Listen, Stephen Aleksiev has never looked at another man and felt a stirring in his loins. He’s not really that interested in pursuing a relationship right now, much less with another guy, but then again…if a little gay sex is the secret sauce that takes a hockey player from good to great, well, why wouldn’t he experiment a little? Stephen Aleksiev might not be all that interested in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone, but he sure as hell is interested in improving his hockey skills by whatever legal means necessary. Maybe if he does well enough he can join Shane Hollander’s line someday. Wouldn’t that be something?

Google does not give him the results he is looking for, which means he must find out for himself. Stephen approaches this season of his life like it is a scientific experiment. If other people aren’t brave enough to test it out, well, Stephen will be the brave pioneer of this scientific world. Science was always his highest grade in school besides PE, so it only makes sense.

Stephen Aleksiev downloads Grindr on the advice of a few google searches and very, very informative Reddit threads and creates a simple profile.

[Image description: a Grindr conversation between Stephen and a guy named Hoseok. Hoseok tells Stephen that he is vers uc jock4jock safe only and asks about Stephen. Stephen says "wat." Hoseok clarifies "What are you info?" and Stephen responds "IDK." Please ignore that the date is in November.]

His hypothesis: gay sex makes you better at hockey.

His methodology: Stephen meets with 3 men over the course of a single weekend. He tops once, he bottoms once (using the advice Shane gave to Bouchard, and committed to Stephen’s long term memory like almost everything Shane says in Stephen’s general vicinity, except for the things Stephen forgets, which are a lot of things), and he gives/receives oral twice. Stephen also holds long texting conversations with 3 other men who seem more interested in sexting than meeting up. He meets one man virtually over Skype and has the interesting experience of seeing another person’s butthole broadcasted in stilted, blurry pixels. 

Results: It does not improve his hockey skills.

Evaluation and future considerations: There is a possibility that he did something wrong. More data may be needed.

Stephen is not really good at tennis now. He tries it at an indoor tennis club with the hope that maybe the magic of gay sex has turned him into the next Serena Williams. He promptly gets a tennis ball to the chin. A magnificent, purple bruise blooms across his jaw within 30 minutes. He also trips over his shoelaces a few times, narrowly avoiding connecting his fresh bruise with the floor. 

He decides to table further exploration of his hypothesis and instead focus on practicing hockey.

SUBJECT: [IMPORTANT] Unconfirmed “Leaks” and Instructions for All Team

From: Voyageurs PR [email protected]

To: @Voyageurs All Team

Dec 29, 2019 12:31PM

We are aware of an alleged ongoing situation regarding the Voyageurs, MLH key stakeholders, and the Commissioner.

You may be contacted by reporters, friends, family members, fellow hockey players, and others. We urge you all to not comment on the alleged leaks. At this time, the authenticity of the leaked emails and memos is unconfirmed. 

Again: DO NOT COMMENT ON THE ALLEGED LEAKS. 

We will email you all again with updates as they come.

Regards,
Johanne and Thomas

PR Team, Montreal Voyageurs 

(514) xxx-xxxx ext. xx

1909 Av. des Voyageurs-de-Montréal, Montréal, QC H3B 2S2

Things are not getting much better in the locker room, the group chats, or outside of the rink. In fact, things seem so, so much worse now.

For starters, the “case” Stephen overhead Coach Theriault talking to a few of his teammates about has partially leaked to the press and general public, and now every member of the Montreal Voyageurs is experiencing an onslaught of messages, email inquiries, and cold calls so intense that it makes their phones feel like ticking time bombs. 

No one is reacting well to the news.

Almost immediately after the leak becomes known to everyone, Montreal’s PR team sends out a HIGH IMPORTANCE email that practically prophesied the torrential downpour of “hey just a quick question for you!”s that the entire team would begin to receive in about 30 minutes time. 

Laine is texting Stephen updates on a group chat that Stephen’s phone doesn’t have. He thinks that maybe his phone isn’t loading all of the messages. Laine keeps calling it “the team chat,” but Stephen is literally looking at the team chat and it seems pretty normal. The last message in it was sent by Shane Hollander about two hours ago, urging everyone to remain calm, professional, and focus on hockey. Half of the team thumbs-up reacted to it (except Hayden Pike, who reacted with a flexing arm emoji, and Bouchard, who reacted with a rainbow). It’s like Stephen’s phone is trying to protect him from the hell that is whatever Laine is relaying to him at rapid speeds (and frankly, Stephen is having a really hard time reading his frantic messages fast enough).

He heart reacts to his captain’s message in the team chat. He watches the animation as the heart settles into place. None of the messages Laine is talking about loads on Stephen's screen. It remains static and unchanged, except for that new heart reaction. Briefly, a thought crosses his mind: Maybe there is a second team group chat that he isn’t in.

Laine, in rapid-fire texts rolling in far too quickly for Stephen to read in real time, is explaining that some of the guys on the team have identified themselves as “anonymous whistleblowers” to Coach Theriault, and that they’re freaking out over the idea of their wives and girlfriends finding out and “ripping off their balls.” They’re also, apparently, freaking out that Ilya Rozanov might break into their homes and set them on fire or “whatever the hell they did to the Romanovs, they were Russian and got merked, right?”. There’s something about Shane Hollander making them bag skate until their legs disintegrate or going to the media and releasing all of their embarrassing photographs from previous annual holiday parties as a form of sick revenge. Olsson is especially concerned about this. Apparently the “whistleblowers” are saying that they would tell Coach every time they felt “intimidated” by Hollander, which is apparently every single time he invoked the name "Ilya" in the near vicinity of them.

Shane talks about Ilya a lot. 

There’s also, apparently, fierce debate over the idea that Shane and Ilya are cheating. Not on each other, Laine quickly clarifies. They mean cheating at hockey, somehow, which is crazy because aren’t they both two of the top active scoring skaters in the league? Some guys seem pretty convinced that the married couple have some kind of “agreement” regarding their winning streaks. Some are fiercely in disagreement. There are screenshots of statistics pages being shared. Someone has begun sharing screenshots from their Wikipedia pages as proof of whatever point they are trying to make, but Laine says it isn’t that clear. The group chat is a riot of images and accusations flying around. Hayden Pike is just sending photos of himself flashing his middle finger, as well as one picture of one of his kids, Jade (Laine thinks), also flashing a middle finger at the camera. 

Hayden Pike has been removed from the chat. 

Stephen checks the group chat and no, there is no notification that one of the alternate captains has been removed. Maybe there really is a second chat he isn’t in. He doesn’t think he wants to be in it. It sounds very overwhelming to him.

He cracks open his keyboard in the official, real Montreal Voyageurs group chat and sends a message of support:

Got it captin thanx a lot we luv you and wil always suport you

rosanov to 

we have youre backs

Shane Hollander heart reacts to it.

Pike, Boiziau, Bouchard, and Laine are organizing an effort to counteract the ongoing “whistleblowing” effort by planning to show up at Coach’s office at regular intervals to talk about how much they all love and appreciate their captain. Apparently, Stephen’s support text is what spurned this idea. There isn't much of an actual plan going on here beyond “we show up at Theriault's office regularly and just tell him our thoughts and hope that that magically fixes everything.” It sounds like a pretty solid idea. 

After the initial plan is made, Stephen joins in alongside Renaud, who isn’t as enthusiastic as the others but likes Shane well enough. Mitty is on the fence but says he’ll “probably” join them. Boiziau tried to convince Koch and Taylor to join, but both men politely rejected. So, the official Coach Theriault Office Crew becomes Pike, Boiziau, Aleksiev, Bouchard, Laine, and Renaud, with occasional support from Miitka. 

Renaud has the amazing, incredibly smart idea to ask Coach Theriault’s administrative assistant, Henri, to add a few meetings to their Coach’s calendar so that they know for a fact that their coach will be ready and waiting for them when they knock on his door.