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The thing is, Sion is a very anxious girl.
She has made peace with it, because it comes with the job. Being the leader of a kpop group has never been easy for anyone, and she takes everything like a personal responsibility–heavy on her shoulders and hard to shake off.
The Ode to Love promotions are just coming to an end and they’ve just recently finished their encore concert; and even if they’re pretty used to their idol lives being kind of insane, Sion has this additional baggage of leading her group to success, to live up to the Neo Brand’s reputation. Make Taeyoung unnie proud of them, make both Korea and Japan fall in love with NCT Wish so all this stress and effort and lack of sleep is worth it in the end. When she sees her members losing weight and smiling through the pain of overexerted muscles, she thinks they have to make it worth it.
So –as it always goes– there’s remnants of anxiety coursing through her body even if they have two free days ahead of them. Like small prickles under her skin, making her restless. Even if the promotions lived up to her expectations and she’s very, very proud of her girls, it never fades right away.
She just can’t help it, it’s engrained in that ADHD brain of hers.
As usual, she’s one of the last ones to go to bed. Most of them ran to the shower and went to sleep right as they got to the dorms, too tired and too excited about the promise of a full night of sleep ahead of them. Yushi stayed with Sion in the living room because she can’t sleep on an empty stomach, so they decided to eat in silence while watching reels on Sion’s phone. Her algorithm is filled with videos of them and Yushi scrunches up her nose, staring disapprovingly at her.
“You need to rest, even right now you’re monitoring everything,” she tells her, and Sion closes the app with a dramatic sigh, even though she knows Yushi’s right.
“I’m not monitoring,” she most certainly is. Always worried about how their fans perceive them, how they reacted to every piece of media there is to consume. She reads a comment and dissects it, repeats it over and over in her head until she feels like she can take something to grow from it.
“You should be a little more like your girlfriend,” Yushi starts, and it’s not the first time she hears this. Riku has told her the same thing too, and even the rest of them. Everytime they catch her watching Wish content on social media they try to make her stop, last time Ryo caught her checking the Youtube comments on their latest video and took her phone off her hand without a word, so pissed off Sion didn’t even think about scolding her for her rudeness. “Riku curated her algorithm so it never shows her anything work related, it helps her decompress.”
Riku’s also extremely anxious. It got to a point where she had to take that hiatus and Sion almost went crazy without her presence, everything feeling heavier and uncertain without her. When she came back, she took her recovery very seriously and her therapist helped her come up with very thorough self-care routines that she tries to drag Sion into.
It doesn’t really work, Sion thinks no one understands how she needs to do certain things to ensure their success as a group. They’re the last NCT unit, they need to be bigger and better and if she doesn’t try her best no one will do it for her. They all can unwind and ignore their internet presence when they’re at home but Sion can’t. She can’t allow herself to.
But still, she nods and locks her phone and waits until Yushi pulls up hers instead. Sion chuckles when the first video that pops up when she opens the app is an edit of her and Daeyoung. Yushi double taps the screen before scrolling, face stoic as always, and the next video after she swipes her thumb is just a compilation of Daeyoung being cute. At this point, Sion is laughing in her face and Yushi pushes her away.
“At least I watch them for entertainment!” She tries to defend herself “And I don't read comments!”
“Because you get jealous when people say Daeyoungie is cute!” Sion pinches her cheek and Yushi scrolls again. Well, it’s good that she doesn't try to deny it, because she really is the most jealous woman Sion knows. She got mad at Daeyoung once because she was flirting with Riku on camera, even though Riku is her best friend and she's basically married to Sion.
Sion avoids fanservice with Daeyoung in fear Yushi gets mad at her. She has a lot more patience with Riku, and an absolute inability to get mad at her, so even if Riku flirts with her girlfriend she's never holding it against her and she just gets mad at Daeyoung for enabling her. Sion thinks she doesn't actually get mad, she just looks for reasons to act that way because she loves Daeyoung's pathetic sad puppy eyes and she gets whatever she wants from her, but she won't meddle.
After a while, Yushi starts dozing off as Sion cleans up. Daeyoung appears from their room a few minutes later and whispers goodnight to her as she lifts Yushi from the couch to bring her to bed. She laughs when she makes eye contact with Yushi, who was obviously faking being asleep and gives her a toothy grin in return.
Sion stretches her body and sighs, all alone in the middle of the kitchen, lights off and the soft glow of the city lights entering through the living room windows. It would be nice to cuddle Riku, it would be nice to spend the night with her but Riku has her own room and Sion rarely asks to spend the night together. The beds are small and even if they're both pretty slim, it's a tight fit and Riku's very self conscious of how much she sweats at night.
She kind of regrets not asking for the shared room when they moved, because Daeyoung and Yushi pushed their beds together and they sleep pretty good like that–except from the time Daeyoung fell from the gap between their beds because they got pushed apart with how restless she got while asleep. Small details. Yushi loves telling the story and it makes her laugh so much Sion can’t even feel bad for Daeyoung anymore.
When Sion gets to her room, she feels like she manifested this: Riku's already under the covers, the only light in the room coming from her phone screen, looking up and smiling softly at Sion. She feels excitement bubbling in her tummy already because if Riku's here, it usually only means one thing.
“Unnie,” Riku makes grabby hands at her and Sion closes the distance quickly, getting rid of her pants to join her in bed, trying not to look too eager and ridiculous but Riku still giggles. She scoots over to make room for Sion and immediately puts her head on her shoulder and sneaks a hand under Sion's shirt.
“What's my kitty doing here?” she asks excitedly, snuggling her. Sion yearns for the day she decides to share rooms with her because every night she spends without Riku makes her miserable. All her anxiety and overthinking nature peaks at night, and insomnia consumes her entire brain but she feels so guilty for even thinking of asking Riku to give up her own comfort and space to be with her.
One day she will, because there's only so much the human brain can endure and Riku's always begging her to rely more on her, to let her help with the mess that tangles in her head and doesn’t let her stop thinking.
But there is something she does to help her. It's her own strategy and hopefully the reason she's here tonight, Sion's sure of it. Riku doesn't always come here for sex only, but the context tells her that's the reason she's acting all cute in Sion's bed. Because every single time, after insanely tiring promotion periods where she knows Sion's mind is at its worst, when her hands shake and her heart beats so loudly she can't hear anything outside her head, Riku comes and takes care of her. It's like she can take the anxiety that runs under her skin and move it around and out of her body, her hands soft but steady.
“Wanted to spend the night with Unnie,” Riku replies and leaves a chaste kiss on the side of Sion's neck. They haven't done anything yet, but it's like a Pavlovian response: the mere sight of Riku in her bed makes heat pool in her belly. She just knows what she's getting even if Riku takes a while to actually act on it, always so coy and shy until she isn't.
“Mh, Unnie loves having you here,” Sion tells her as she slips a hand under Riku's tank top to run her nails along her back. Riku mewls as she searches for a movie to watch on her phone. Well, not watch, it's part of the routine: She chooses whatever she deems won't be too distracting to play in the background, so their moans fade into the noise. At least they have shame, not like the pair of roommates next door–Sion hates how many times she's heard Yushi moan puppy. She shivers at the memory.
Riku reaches over to leave her phone on the nightstand, almost straddling her and moving unnecessarily slowly, her boobs all over Sion’s face. She uses her hand on Riku’s back to steady her, and when she’s done adjusting the volume she lets herself fall on top of Sion with a soft oof.
“Hello,” she mutters with her lips pressed on Sion’s neck. She knows it’s hard for her to initiate, but Sion can be patient for her. Even if Riku struggles a little to feel confident about dominance, she likes to try. Likes taking care of her and being in charge when her plan to make her relax is in action.
“Hi, baby.”
Riku leaves an open mouthed kiss on her neck before lifting her head, staring at her lips. She’s breathing heavily already, the air charged with this energy that melts her insides slowly. Her hands grab Riku’s hips, fingertips digging in her soft flesh, trying to get her to move–to do anything already. So Riku cups her cheek and leans in, lips parted, ready–
When their lips meet, it’s already open mouthed and dirty. When Riku’s in charge, she’s always making sure they don’t do anything too fast; so if Sion’s too eager, she slows her down with the unhurried drag of her tongue. She mimics what she does to her pussy, sucks her bottom lip inside her mouth and releases it with a pop the same way she does to her clit, and Sion sees stars, feels herself getting wet while heat spreads thickly through her. It’s the fastest way to get her dripping.
There’s an art to this: Riku’s goal is to numb her mind, to make her lose track of time and space and just… make her feel good. They kiss for what seems like ages, their hands all over each other under their clothes, groping and grabbing feverish skin but still not taking anything off. At some point Riku straddles one of her thighs, putting one of hers between Sion’s, and starts rotating her hips in small circles as Sion allows herself to do the same. It feels like heaven, even through her panties, moaning softly on Riku’s mouth as she grabs Sion’s tits.
“You’re being good,” Riku mumbles and takes a nipple inside her mouth. Her tongue is hot against Sion’s skin and she can’t help but throw her head back against the pillows, a broken moan leaving her lips. She’s most definitely soaking through her underwear now, and she can feel Riku’s wetness on her thigh too. Sion has to convince herself that she’s patient, chant those words inside her head so she believes them, and Riku’s praise works exactly for that; for her not to hurry, for her to fall into the headspace she wants her in and remember there’s nothing to gain from rushing anything.
“Riku, baby,” Sion’s fingers tangle on Riku’s short, messy wolf cut. She feels a hand sliding down her abs and when it reaches her underwear Sion’s already lifting her hips. Riku giggles against her skin before she sits back, taking Sion’s panties off and opening up her legs to just… stare. Sion’s never shy about these things, so she takes her shirt off and then lifts one leg to the side to give Riku a better look, knowing her folds must be glistening with wetness. She wants to tempt her to eat her out immediately, even if she knows it never works because Riku’s literally on a serious mission, but at least she’s happy to make her hiss.
Part of Riku’s routine is to make herself come first and fast so she can take care of Sion after, because she wants her to relax as much as possible after her orgasm. They’ve tried many times to get each other off simultaneously but both of them focus way more on the other’s pleasure for it to work. Riku also tried not getting off once to just focus on her, and Sion got ten times more frustrated than she was before–she’s very serious about her girlfriend’s pleasure and hers depends on it too.
Riku likes many things in bed, like being fingered fast and rough or riding Sion’s face for so long she has to tap on her thigh to breathe, but if there’s something that will make her come in minutes is some good old scissoring.
Sion bites her lip in anticipation as her eyes are set on Riku taking her own clothes off, first her boxers and then the tank top. Then, Riku grabs the same leg Sion lifted earlier to make her open wider and straddles the other leg to get in position. Sion breathes heavily, letting herself melt into the mattress before she finally feels Riku’s pussy against her own.
“Oh god,” Riku moans as she starts moving her hips, their folds dragging against each other, both so wet the slide feels delicious. It’s why she’s always grateful that Riku takes her time, because when they get to it they’re both dripping and aching. Sion never comes from this but she likes it just as much as any other thing they do–mostly because Riku feels and looks perfect, bouncing on top of her and letting out broken moans with every thrust of her hips. Her tits follow that movement as well, and Sion wants to grab them and bite.
“Is it good?” she asks. Riku nods, unable to form words. Her eyes are set on Sion’s boobs as well and Sion realizes she must be thinking the same thing as her, but at least the position does allow Riku to grab one of her tits as she moves her hips a little faster. Harder.
It never takes too long. Sion can see it all in Riku’s face; the pleasure consuming her and her orgasm forming so fast it makes her whine high in her throat. Sion hopes the noise coming from Riku’s phone is enough to cover up her moans because Riku can’t help but get a little loud when she’s so close. She praises her as Riku’s hips stutter and she releases her breast to grab her leg with both hands, digging her nails on Sion’s flesh. She feels so tempted to put fingers inside Riku’s mouth so she can moan freely, but her girlfriend settles on biting her calf as her orgasm washes over her–it looks like it’s very intense, she’s definitely going a little crazy with how hard she’s coming because it doesn’t seem to end, Sion knows she’s going to have bruises tomorrow from how hard Riku’s grabbing her –around her thigh, her hip and her ass– and she fucking loves it.
Even if she won't come from this, an intense wave of pleasure runs through her and pools on her pelvis, making her drip even more, because Riku gets brutal when she rides her orgasms and she fucks her slow but so hard she yanks Sion towards her with each thrust. Maybe the reason they work so well together–the reason they have sex this good–is because they are polar opposites in a way. If Sion is sated and sleepy after an orgasm, Riku gets a renewed hunger, like coming only fuels her.
“How was it?” Sion asks when Riku settles next to her while grabbing her waist and closing the space between them to kiss her again.
“Unnie,” Riku bites and sucks her lips, licking into her mouth eagerly as she cards her fingers through Sion's long honey blonde hair. “So good.”
Sion smiles proudly against her lips, even though she can't take credit for it. Riku wouldn't agree, because she thinks Sion does enough with just existing. Unnie, you're so hot I can come just from looking at you, she told her once and Sion cackled but she was dead serious.
At this point, she's so turned on it almost hurts. She stares down at the mess between her legs–Riku's wetness glistening on her inner thighs where she was rubbing her pussy–and it makes her moan softly.
Luckily, Riku seems to get the memo and decides to take mercy on her, pressing the pads of her fingers against her clit and rubbing in slow circles. Sion jolts and a high pitched whine leaves her lips.
“Oh baby, please,” she begs, not sure for what but she begs.
“I'll give it to you, Unnie. I'll make it good,” Riku tells her before she sinks two fingers inside, dragging them against her walls and crooking them slightly. “Fuck, you're so wet”
“‘Cause of you” she mutters as she tries to be quiet. Heat spreads inside her with the stimulation of Riku's fingers thrusting in and out of her, head floaty because all her blood has gone south with the arousal. Riku leaves open mouthed kisses on her neck and moans praises against her skin. Unnie’s doing so good, you feel so tight around my fingers.
This is how it starts but it's never how it ends. It could, Sion is so pent up it wouldn't take her much to come right now, but Riku always says that it's not about the finish line; it's about taking her apart so thoroughly she makes her brain melt and her big cloud of anxious thoughts fade away in the background.
So it doesn't come as a surprise when Riku pulls out her fingers and starts positioning herself between her legs, hands on both thighs to make her open wide. Even if she likes to go slowly, she never teases Sion with this–so she immediately dives in, giving her clit open mouthed kisses. Sion can't help but moan too loud this time, but she figures everyone is already asleep so she can't bring herself to care anymore.
“Riku,” she whines. This is her favorite sight in the world, maybe: Riku between her legs and staring directly into her eyes as she flattens her tongue and laps up her cunt, sucking her clit and then licking inside. It's the only time she allows eye contact with her and it's like all the shyness vanishes from her body, because she doesn't stop staring; even when Sion grabs her by the hair, yanks her, and rubs herself against her tongue. Her dark brown eyes are on hers the entire time, as she moans directly on her pussy.
Sion feels the orgasm build but it never comes, because her mind really is hell and doesn't allow her to let go just yet. Riku's well aware of this happening sometimes, especially after a particularly stressful period like the encore and promotions were. It's not that it's not good enough, because it most definitely is. She's been about to burst for a good thirty minutes now and Riku does everything in her power to get her closer to the edge and it works but she's right there and at this point, she's growing increasingly more frustrated and that ugly feeling begins to fill her mind.
Riku won't have that, of course, so she sucks her clit inside her mouth one last time before crawling up to her, the next stage of her plan in action as she makes her way up to kiss her.
Sion might be a pervert for this, but she thinks there's nothing better in this world than her girlfriend's hot mouth on her own after eating her out. It's wet and warm and Riku's lips are so swollen she looks absolutely ruined. Their tongues meet as Riku sucks, bites and licks inside her mouth, and Sion has to admit that tasting herself on her girlfriend drives a little crazy, groaning as they make out.
When Riku pulls away at last, her eyes glinting with malice, Sion remembers this is actually her favorite thing in the world.
“Can I?” Riku asks as she crawls closer and closer, it takes Sion only one second to grab her by the waist, pull her close as she loses her balance and suck one of her nipples inside her mouth. “Unnie!”
“Yeah,” she answers as she releases her with a small laugh as Riku stares at her with her eyes squinted, disapproving. If she's not obedient, Riku throws a fit later because she works very hard to curate the perfect sexual experience for Sion. She really tries her best to roll with it, she's just–not used to being a pillow princess at all and even if she likes it, she is more used to being a bit more dominant in bed. Not that Riku’s a pillow princess either, but they both usually do a lot of things to one another, a lot more than Riku is letting her do now.
It doesn't matter anyway, Sion will get her way tomorrow and maybe she’ll make her take her strap. Today is a different day, and that's her favorite thing about their relationship.
Sion waits for her to turn around and straddle her head with a new rush of excitement and arousal running through her. It’s the biggest treat–and she doesn’t even try to deny it, licking her lips as she takes handfuls of Riku’s thighs. Her mouth is watering with the sight, almost making her drool already.
“Don’t suck,” Riku says, her breath on Sion’s pussy. She barely hears her say it, and maybe she can use that as an excuse to do the exact opposite.
Sion rolls her eyes and moans loudly against Riku’s folds when she lowers herself on her mouth, feeling wetness and warmth on her lips and tongue. Sion’s oral fixation is a poorly concealed secret, even her fans tease her about it–but maybe only Riku knows how serious it is. She grabs Riku harder against her, hands setting on her ass to press her as close as she can, mouth open and pliant.
Riku forces Sion’s legs to open as wide as they can go, pressing down on her thighs as she devours her cunt like she’s starving for it. There’s not a pattern anymore, she’s sucking and lapping and moving her head with her mouth open–it’s so dirty and deranged, Sion’s sure her entire face is dripping and her lips are even puffier than before.
This time, her orgasm builds faster and easier. Her senses are so focused on her girlfriend that the overthinking finally stops; all she can taste on her tongue and feel against her fingertips is Riku, and she can only hear her own muffled moans with her thighs pressed so tightly around her head. She’s entirely present in this moment, and it starts washing over her with such intensity her nails dig in Riku’s ass and scratch the skin in a way she knows is painful–of course her girlfriend won’t complain about that, she most definitely likes it way too much.
Heat spreads thick and sweet and she feels like she has no control over herself anymore, close to sobbing against Riku’s pussy as her orgasm hits her so hard she forces her legs to close; Riku lets her do it and allows her head to be squeezed between Sion’s thighs. She doesn’t think she’s just moaning at a decent level anymore, so she does suck Riku’s folds into her mouth to shut herself up. Sue her.
Riku jolts but she keeps helping her ride her orgasm, tongue out so Sion can move against it. Sion realizes then that Riku might still be a little sensitive–her refractory period is not the shortest in the world–and she relaxes her mouth against her again.
It lasts a while. She whimpers and hisses as she still feels tingles all over her pelvis and sees white, shiny spots; even when she registers Riku moving to settle beside her, wiping her face and her tears, caressing her hip as Sion closes her legs to ride it, it’s still going.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” she pants, which makes Riku laugh in her face.
“I thought you weren’t religious,” Riku says, running a hand through Sion’s damp hair. Her vision starts to clear as she blinks once, twice. Riku’s beautiful face comes into focus.
“I love you so much.”
Riku snorts. “Me too, even if you’re just saying it because I made you come like that.”
“When did I say that!” Sion hits her shoulder. “I always love you.”
“Hmm,” Riku mewls and kisses her. Their lips are so warm and wet. If anyone thinks that’s gross it’s literally not Sion’s problem.
When they make eye contact again, Riku is beaming, like she’s expecting something. Praise, maybe, because Sion knows her inside out–so she complies.
“I loved it, baby,” she cups Riku’s cheek and she leans into it, her little kitty. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to say thank you for sex, it’s weird,” she answers, now averting her eyes. She’s just saying shit because Sion knows she loves the praise.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” she tries and even in the darkness she knows Riku is blushing now. She makes it worse by peppering her with kisses all over her face, stopping only when Riku squeals loudly, laughing like a dolphin. If their moans didn’t wake anyone up this most certainly will.
“That’s why I’m here,” Riku says once she calms down. “I want you to rely on me more, unnie.”
Sion’s face lights up with a sincere smile. “Will do, my princess.”
Part of it is also this, letting Riku get up and bring wet wipes to clean her up from head to toe, putting clean underwear on her and one of her own shirts–Sion doesn’t know if it was already in her room or she brought it for this sole reason, but her heart warms at the gesture because Riku knows she relaxes even more if she’s surrounded by her smell.
“Wanna sleep in my room?” Riku asks after cleaning herself up. Sion was already dozing off but she jumps at the offer, visibly excited. “Your sheets are dirty, so.”
Sion gets up on wobbly legs, so Riku has to steady her and it makes both of them laugh. She knows they both smell like sex and maybe Riku will have to change her sheets tomorrow too, but showering really seems like a huge task that she’s not willing to do right now.
If Riku doesn’t care, she also won’t. Call her gross, but she actually likes the reminder of all the things they did; seeing their underwear thrown around the bed, the sheets crumpled, Riku’s swollen lips and her tangled short hair.
Under Riku’s sheets, she melts. Chest pressed tight against Riku’s back for as long as she’ll allow it before she starts complaining it’s too hot. It doesn’t matter right now; the world fades away, her mind buzzes like brown noise and no thought is able to form in it. Maybe she’s dumb for thinking this way, but at this moment, she just feels like everything is worth it. Not only because of the sex–it’s way deeper than that: being taken care of, being loved so intensely and thoroughly, being able to rely and trust.
They’ve been together for a while, and Sion thinks it will take even longer to let all her worries leave the comfort of her mind and be able to voice them out loud. But as long as Riku’s willing to wait, she’s willing to try.
One step at a time.