Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It can’t always be good, this thing between the two of them.

Yelena won’t lie, they have bad days. They have bad days as themselves, bad days as members of the team, and even rarer, bad days as a couple. That’s a given and maybe the field they’re in forces the okay ones to feel even better than they are.

Perhaps the things they see, the people they help, the people they meet, maybe that changes the perspective and changes how they feel.

If she’s being honest, they do have resources, 24/7 therapists, addiction specialists, resources for those addictions, the means to get adequate medication.

Most of all, they now have each other, and maybe that helps just as much.

They don’t fight often. Yelena has a dominant personality sure, but she’s all too familiar with control and she can’t trust herself with her self, let alone with someone else sometimes. They switch off, is a good way to put it. Sometimes, Yelena runs the show, sometimes it’s Bob. Naturally, she tends to take the lead often, the typical figurehead in her coming to play.

More recently, she’s been letting him take the reins and more recently, with his growing confidence, he’s been glad too. Bob’s been doting on her since they got together, that’s been a fact. And if she’s being honest she’s never been on the receiving end of such care, and she can’t help the flutters in her chest and the warmth that settles in her bones when they’re together. And they’re together often, more comfortable by each other’s side, whether that be cooking meals for the team (bob, unsurprisingly, is an astonishing cook) to watching movies, to just being together on a random day.

That’s not to say they spend every waking moment together.

Now that the renovations throughout the tower were finished, the main floor they’d been staying on has been relegated to the Reporting and Medical floor. Team briefings are the biggest thing that take place there though the movement of the medical wing has been the biggest upgrade.

The floors beneath have been assigned, each one of them getting their own, though, Bucky is rarely in his, same with John, who says he’s been meeting with Olivia, an attempt to see if things can be salvaged there.

The two of them have their own floors, but if she’s being honest they just go back and forth to one or the others. Sometimes they stay in his, sometimes in hers. Sometimes alone because it’s just how it happens.

(rarely is that the case)

((and by rarely, she means, that she will wake at two am with the lack of heat she hasn’t been without in months and find him, slinking into his arms, burrowing herself in his chest with the smallest press of a kiss))

Being together and being separate, both things good for them.

And they’ve been getting better, the two of them, and they’ve been cruising on a good streak.

It only makes sense, that with the good there would be bad.

She’s probably being dramatic right now of course.

Because there’s going to be bad moments, both for them as individuals, for them as a team, and for them as them. She’s always had difficulty with staying afloat, with living in the reality that it will work out. Maybe it was her time as a widow that keeps the haze that something bad will happen at the forefront of her mind. Right now, that haze is simmering, the burn of being right sinking into her stomach and she just wishes she would have willed everything to work out instead of expecting it to go to shit. It’s genuinely taking all the strength in her very being to not do something unfounded, to not do something crazy like throw herself into a mission.

(if she were to go on a mission right now—she’d probably get someone killed—the someone being her)

Though the person she would go to talk to (barring her therapist), is currently unavailable right now.

And that’s the reason as to why she’s spiraling.

Why, she thinks while curled in the uncomfortable chair next to Bob’s hospital bed, fingers latched to his as the grating beeps of the machine he’s hooked up too sound off around them, did they agree to him doing this?

And worse, what will I do if he never wakes up?

(but she knows the answer and it terrifies her to no end)

((because if bob never wakes up, yelena knows it in her soul, she’s going to die too))

(((and she’s almost one hundred percent sure it wouldn’t be because of a mission)))

––⧗––

The first time that the entire set of potential avengers get together in a room to discuss best practices, team names, and how they’ll operate, is the day that everything begins to go to shit.

Bucky informs them that in two days, Sam Wilson, Joaquín Torres, Kate Bishop (yelena perks up at this name), Clint Barton (she deflates here), and Mel Gold will be coming to the Watchtower with Valentina Allegra de Fontaine in tow.

He says that he wants them on their best behavior, but that he understands that this has the potential to be a very difficult discussion moving forward.

(he sounds more like leader with this mini speech but there's a small patch of marinara sauce on his cheek from the spaghetti bob made that pulls yelena’s attention)

((it is not lost on her that sam wilson is willing to enter a room with them and bucky’s small swallow as he speaks tells her all she needs to know))

The team is already getting meme’d, ridiculed and criticized for things they are (or aren’t) doing, so Yelena doesn’t think it can get any worse.

(the future yelena is sobbing in a chair at the bedside of the man she cares for so deeply that she cannot breathe but we’ll get to that soon)

Two days later, everyone is there and there is a tense-ness to the air, a stifling awkward tone that no one can beat, no one except of course—

Bob yelps out “Cucumber” and Yelena is once again brought back to when she met him, his large frame somehow dwarfed by his pajamas. As everyone turns to look at him, his body tenses before he’s sneezing breaking the tension, apologizing when everyone continues to stare at him with varying degrees of confusion. He gives a soft, nervous smile before he’s moving forward to say hello to everyone, giving a hefty handshake to Sam Wilson, stammering out what an honor it is to get to meet Captain America, since his last run in with the title gave him “an unfortunate headache known as John Walker.” who only scowls as Bob continues. He goes on to say hello to Joaquín Torres, and the two hit it off like they’ve been friends since they were kids.

Off to the corner stands Clint Barton, who Yelena in a way pities as he looks around his once home, now swapped and different, a large evidence that his friend is dead. Their eyes meet and the silent turmoil boils beneath the surface—both thinking now of Natasha.

(before she can let that ruminate and turn into something nasty, bob makes his way back to her, fingers slipping into her own, touch soft and grounding—for both of them she knows—kate eyes their hands, shooting a look at her, wiggling her eyebrows as she tries to have a silent conversation with yelena that the girl does not understand)

Bob titters off uneasily before he’s perking slightly, proclaiming with the amount of people that he and Yelena made some snacks. When every head turns towards him again sans for Yelena and Bucky, he shifts his body, large frame moving to stand behind her. Bucky claps a hand on his shoulder, eyes not leaving Sam’s as he thanks Bob, everyone following suit.

Bucky announces everyone should grab a plate and something to eat or snack on and make their way into the report room, that way they can begin.

Sam eyes him, a certain emotion flickering over his face, before he’s following Joaquín to the counter. He dips his head respectfully at Yelena, giving her a smile, saying a thank you and giving Bob an encouraging smile and pat on the shoulder, hitting John with a stare similar to the one Bucky gave him in that beat up building all those months ago.

Ava gets a curious glance, a we’ll connect later if you will, and her father gets a brief nod of acknowledgment.

Kate, surprisingly, leaves Clint’s side to wrap her arms around Yelena in a big hug, punctuated with a “I’m so happy we can really be friends now.”

Bob gives a little tug on Yelena’s hand, pulling her from Kate’s embrace and the two make eye contact.

“So,” Kate gives him a once over, eyebrow suddenly raising. “You’re Bob.”

“You’re Kate.”

She smiles, easy and outgoing but somehow a little sinister as she speaks. “Best friend trumps boyfriend.”

Bob’s face contorts heavily and he moves from behind Yelena’s body in favor of standing by her side, shooting Kate a pinched look. “What? No.”

“So you are her boyfriend.” Kate gives a quick shake of her head, shooting a look at Yelena, who only purses her lip in response to Bob.

“You’re good.” He acknowledges, eyes narrowing as Yelena rolls her eyes, rubbing a hand along her face. 

“You’re both idiots, neither of you are good yet.” Bob makes a noise in his throat and Yelena pats his hand in an apology. “Bob, this is Kate Bishop, my—”

“—best friend!” She chirps with a big friendly smile, sincerity bleeding through (inwardly yelena’s chest warms, outwardly she gives the faintest eye roll). “My mom owns Bishop Security. Or she did own Bishop Security. But she did some really bad things and started working with some big guy who was kinda huge, not in like a famous-way but in a dude was the size-of-a-u-haul type of way. He owned, owns? The tracksuit mafia, and we, being me and Clint, took them down a couple years back! So now I own Bishop Security, only I don’t exactly own it, because I started liquidating the company, but stopped, because a security network and service is very useful. But I guess, I do own it, I’m not the chairman of the board but I do own more than 75% of the company so does that make me the chairman? Anyways its not my title. And since then, Clint’s been training me to be the next Hawkeye, or has been training me because I’m Hawkeye.”

Clint walks up, hand on his face, posture grumpy yet calm. “Kid, too much info.”

“Right, sorry.” She tacks on timidly, eyes going from Yelena to Clint, who both eye each other with too much of something and too little of something else.

“Yelena.” He gives a small inclination.

“Barton.” She acknowledges with a blink and no other expression on her face.

Before anything else can go on, or any uncomfortable feelings can float to the surface, Bob is shuffling awkwardly in front of Yelena, effectively blocking Clint from her line of sight. The expanse of Bob’s large back is the only thing suddenly in her field of view.

“Hello Mr. Barton sir,” he offers a clammy hand, mouth not quite forming a smile but not quite frowning either. “I’m Bob, uh Robert, Robert Reynolds. I was in, uh, or near New York when the initial attacks took place. Big fan of the archery, wished it was something I could learn. Probably would shoot my own eye out if I tried right now.”

Clint’s mouth quirks up, knowing exactly what Bob was doing. He just accepted the hand, speaking softly. “Thanks kid. It’s nice to meet you.”

Yelena lets out a surprisingly shaky breath, leaning her head forward to find perch on his back, the emotion of seeing Clint, hitting her unexpectedly. One of Bob’s hands find way behind him to grasp at her fingers, giving her a quick and timely squeeze. She lets out an exhale, attempting to calm her nerves. She gives a quick shake of her shoulders, rolling them back before Val is calling everyone’s attention and urging them to meet in the conference room.

Yelena licks her lips, peeking around Bob’s body brows knitted as no one moves, chattering continuing to take place. Bob shoots her an amused look, grin glowing as no one listens to her, and Yelena is thankful for Val only in this moment, committing the smile on Bob’s face to memory.

Sam gives a quiet chuckle, eyes fixed on the two of them, before he’s announcing soft but firm to the room, “Why don’t we take our plates and head in? We have a bit to talk about.”

The moment the words leave his mouth, Bob and Yelena move towards the door, Ava materializing into the room. Alexei shouts delighted to take orders from Captain America and John just follows silent but obedient.

Val rolls her eyes, muttering under her breath that they’d listen to her if her name was Tony Stark or Steve Rogers.

(both clint and bucky shoot wicked stares her way, the silence from the two staggering her stride)

((bucky’s fingers twitch and he looks like he’s regretting not impeaching this woman))

Yelena rolls her eyes, sitting to the right of Bob as the rest of the members move to sit around the table.

Valentina sighs, gesturing Mel to begin handing out binders.

“Great, more packets.” Bucky mutters under his breath, giving Mel a brief smile.

Bob snorts while Valentina begins to speak finally. “The information listed here lets you all know what exactly is going to happen with the Avengers protocol. Listed,” Yelena nods at Mel in thanks as she begins to thumb through the packet in front of her. She leans her head against her hand as Bob reads the words over her shoulder. “You’ll see that the New Avengers will be exactly that, our new Avengers team.”

Val sends a pointed look towards Sam, who just keeps a steely gaze on her. “You’re more than welcome to join Mr. Wilson, but we have all the required members already. We have our faces,” she points towards Yelena and Bucky. “We have our muscle.” She gestured to Alexei and John. “We have our sleuth.” This time a gesture to Ava. “So any label of Avenger, would be more like seeing what you could add to the team. Don’t you agree? And the same goes for you Ms. Bishop.” Val’s smile spreads, teeth glinting under the light. “We could always use backup.”

“Okay,” Bucky began, firmly cutting Val’s words off. “There is no if Sam were to join. There is no Avengers without Captain America, and as far as I’m concerned, Sam is the Avengers. Sam has the shield, he’s the only one fit to lead, he’s not backup.”

Val gives a sardonic laugh. “You’re the leader Bucky.”

“Then I’ll step down.”

“Then it goes to Yelena.”

She sits back, caught off guard, releasing the packet with a wrinkled brow. “I refuse. Bob does too.”

Val rolls her eyes. “That’s not how it would have went—”

“Listen I’m gonna pass.” Clint spoke up, rubbing at his temple.

“Mr. Barton—” Valentina tries but he just continues, effectively silencing her.

“No, Ms. de Fontaine, I’m gonna pass. I didn’t deal with having to uproot my family, watch them get blipped, all to fight a stupid fuck ass purple alien to bring ‘em back just to be in this wheel again.” He shook his head. “I’m not gonna be relegated by the very thing that put me on the run, I won’t answer to the thing that tore apart my team. Especially considering, that some of my closest friends lost their lives because we weren’t well equipped since half of us where fugitives.”

“You cannot seriously be blaming the government for the mishaps of those lives—”

Yelena sat up, ear splitting hum hitting her as the words fall in a garble from her mouth. “Mishaps? My sister being dead, that is mishap to you?”

“Yelena, that is not what I meant. I’m just saying that the government cannot be to blame for the handling of the Thanos’ incident—”

“—can you say that for sure?” Clint snarks, lip curling as he continues. “Can you stake on your life, that had the Avengers been together, Thanos still would have run rampant the way he did? Could you lay your life down, right now, to argue that half of us still would have died? Cause if I’m not mistaken, we beat Thanos, and we beat him five years too late. Almost like we weren’t together that first time, right?”

There was silence as Clint leaned forward, arms perching on the table. “As a senior member of the team. Sam is Cap, and in my book, that means he’s the only leader I’ll follow.” His eyes firmly stay on her, face not sinking into anything else before he was quirking a brow. “He’s the only leader we got.”

Bucky inclines his head, voicing his agreement with Kate giving a quick jerk of her head in consensus. 

“No government involvement means no government money.” Val neatly snaps, eye twitching. “It also means fighting regulations, and the potential that the government makes laws, that they do something to keep you in check.”

“I have plenty of money to fund things.” Kate pipes up and Mel shrugs in confusion when Val tries to eye her for Kate’s response.

“This is exactly what the Sokovia Accords was for.” Clint rolls his eyes. “We’re just following every argument again now aren't we?"

Val shakes her head, smile not even dimming. “No of course not, the government—”

Yelena snorts this time, throwing a hand up as she leans backwards. “—Do you forget that HYDRA was so deeply ingrained in, not only SHIELD, but government as well? Who’s to say that’s not case now, or not to come in future. How do we trust that it won’t be infiltrated again, that we won’t be used to do anything harmful instead?”

Sam’s mouth dips before he’s shooting Val an exasperated stare. “We are not re-hashing this conversation. It tore apart one team, and that’s not going to happen again. The world knows it needs us, we’ve seen what happened when it didn’t have the Avengers, and I, for one, won’t let that happen again. I say we have the Avengers, all of us, and we get called up as we need it.”

“Everyone can’t be an Avenger.” Val tries nervously, unaccepting of the way the conversation is going.

“Why?” John cuts in. “It’s a title, an important one, but it’s not defining of who does the work.”

“You,” Val tries. “Of all people should know just how important titles are. And just what having that title can do.”

“And aren’t you to blame for that also?” Ava chortles, her response clipped. “You lot had no problem replacing Steve Rogers with John here, and then just, what, tossed him aside? You first, neglected Steve’s wishes for Sam to be Captain America, and then when the one you pick doesn’t do things the way you wanted, you decide to just decommission him if I understand correctly? Don’t get me wrong, he was in the wrong then and he can be an asshole.” John just bows his head in agreement. “But, it sounds like you’re showing us you can just replace us if we step out of line. And it sounds like you’d have no problem doing so. Which is exactly your issue in the first place.”

Val’s teeth clench. “Ms. Starr you are incorrect—”

“—incorrect? You cannot be serious. You tried to control the Avengers, broke them apart, and then needed them and now you’re putting together the very team you dismantled? To showcase unity or what? The power you hold? What are you going to do when one of us dies in the next big battle? Take an innocent human and pump them full of drugs until you create something better? Oh, wait.”

Val shakes her head, hand going to massage her temple. “That is not what I think can happen and—”

“I’m sorry,” Yelena cut in. “Are you not one who decided to process Project Sentry? Didn’t have Avenger in your back pocket so you tried to make one?”

“And if I didn’t would you have met your little boy-toy right there? You, of all people, should be thanking me Agent Belova.” Val suddenly snapped.

Bob sat a little straighter, eyeing Val with disdain, eyes burning into her. “I think you should cool it off. Yelena’s right, Val. You took innocent people, killed all of them, some of them, a lot like me who didn’t have a choice.”

Val gave a rough noise, her frustration finally bleeding through. “And look how well that turned out! You can’t handle being Sentry, so what did I even try for? Newsflash people, I’m just trying to save the world if needed! I was just trying to give us a hero!”

“You have heroes Val.” Sam cut back in, trying to divert the conversation from Bob who had given Val an awkward flinch, eyes suddenly downcast.

“But do I have a Thor? Do we even have Thor? Where is that God at? What about Captain Marvel huh? Instead, I got saddled with a bipolar megalomaniac that can’t control his powers!”

“Jesus Christ.” Clint nearly spat out, rolling his eyes.

“Why are we playing on the field with our strongest members on the bench? I don’t see us with a God on our home turf, so unless you can get Thor back here, we’re still short the manic power we need to survive!”

There’s silence again before an awkward timber in the room takes over. Yelena can see Bob fidgeting suddenly, maybe the attention on him as the aforementioned God in the room hitting him with anxiety. He frowns, looking at his hands with furrowed brows before he’s giving Yelena a stare of trepidation.

She tilts her own in confusion, silently asking him if he was okay.

His gaze stays on her for a moment, eyes mapping her face before he was moving them back to Valentina, shuffling awkwardly in his seat, eyes shooting down for a moment and back up. “I,” his hands twitch again as he pulls the attention to himself avoiding eye contact with the sudden new gazes on him. Yelena purses her mouth, face creasing as he narrows his eyes, giving Val a glare. “I would be willing. To, to try to, to uh, try, uhm.”

He stops for just a moment and a chill shoots up Yelena’s spine.

Bob breathes in, a large exhale, before he’s adjusting his body, rolling his shoulders back before speaking again. “I would be willing to train Sentry to become an active member of the team.”

“No.” Yelena immediately voices before anyone else can respond, body rising with goosebumps, “That’s not, no, you will not.”

He doesn’t look to her at all, the only acknowledgment he even heard her denial was the awkward twitch of his eye. He continues to stare down Val and Mel, who both shoot a stare to each other.

“I would be willing to try and—”

“—You will not try, is too dangerous, something could happen to you, that is, it is stupid decision.” Yelena rushes out, heart beating so loudly in her chest she is sure that Bucky can hear it. “That is terribly stupid decision.”

“I’m not stupid,” Bob tries to speak, turning a stare he normally only gives Walker, to her. “I’m trying to be helpful.”

“Being helpful? You mean trying to get yourself killed?” She slams her palm against the table, and his body jerks at the loud noise, crushing a part of her chest beneath the surface, especially when his body curls inward. “You think that is being helpful?”

“I think that I want to help the team,” he stares at her directly now and even though they are sitting side by side, legs touching, she feels farther from him than she’s ever been. “And I know I want to help you.”

“You will not help me by torturing yourself, you will be no help subjecting yourself to that, that side.” Her words are slurring and her accent is thickening the longer she speaks, her fury and fear bleeding together. “I don’t agree with this. I don’t agree with you doing this.”

“And what about me?” Bob sits straight up again. “What about how I feel?”

“What are you—” she tries but he cuts her off.

“Do you think it’s easy, watching the team go on missions? Watching you go on missions not knowing if you’re going to be okay? If any of you are gonna be okay. Do you think I like sitting here, alone with just my thoughts and the knowledge that you might die, and I’d just be here, fucked up as always? If I can train this, if I can help, I can fight with you, with all of you.” He huffs, turning away jaw clenched. “I can’t ask you not to help people Yelena, that’s all you do, it’s who you are, I could never take that away from you. But I want to be useful to you, and if that means doing this, then I want to try.”

Yelena could feel her face droop, mouth slipping into a deep frown, face pulling down and she realizes belatedly the argument that has just transpired in front of their team, and also the visiting heroes. She can feel her eyes beginning to water, so she stands, pulling the attention with her, shaking her head, extremely uncomfortable with the display of emotion on her face. “I cannot look at you right now, I am done with conversation Robert.” She swallows around her fear, before she is turning and leaving the room, the silence following her even when he calls her name.

She exhales, making her way towards the elevator, punching the buttons with accuracy and annoyance.

“Well,” Valentina begins, somewhat confused by the argument that has transpired in front of her. “Soap Opera aside there, I think it’s a great idea Robert!”

Sam ignores her before he’s standing. “I think we need to take a minute now. Valentina why don’t you step out until we’re ready for you.” He crossed his arms, staring until the smile slid off her face.

“Tough crowd.” She mutters, snarking as she starts walking towards the door to leave. “Mel—”

“—can stay.” Bucky gave a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes as he gave a cool stare to her, transitioning to a real one as he looked towards Mel. “Thanks Val.”

As she walks out, another grumble leaves her lips before she was yelling for Mel to order her lunch. Sam moves to round the table until he’s standing near Bob, whose head is in his hands. He places a hand on his shoulder, the man flinching at the sudden contact. “Why don’t you come take a walk with me? Get some fresh air.” He moves his hand, looking towards Bucky, before he’s nodding the opposite way. 

Bucky stands, giving a brief smile to the table as the two leaders have a conversation between their eyes. “And how about everyone else decides on lunch while Sam and Bob talk? I’ll go check on Yelena.”

Sam claps Joaquín on the shoulder, leaning to whisper something to him as he ushers Bob out of the room, and Bucky follows, walking the way Yelena went.

Joaquín licks his lips, looking towards Kate and Clint, shrugging towards the way Yelena went. “She do that often?”

Kate, who stares at him a little longer than necessary, purses her lips. “Storm off? Yes.”

“I meant more so, emote, at least like that?” He gives her a hefty grin, lips pulling and Kate stares at him, before she’s looking away, face flushing.

She misses the way the smile slips awkwardly from his face, before he’s sitting up a little straighter. 

(to her side clint releases a breath—desperately not wanting to pick up on exactly what he’s picking up on—eyes closing as he leans back in his chair)

“She’s getting better at it.” Walker cuts in, looking towards the ceiling, hands crossed in front of his body, eyes closed, missing the moment between the two. “She had been seeing Bucky’s therapist, but that lady was a government mandated one, and she, just, she was definitely not the best. But we found someone that Sam recommended, so that’s been helping. I will say that’s more emotion she’s shown in front of any of us before. Probably sans Bob.”

“My daughter emotes in front of me.” Alexei grumbles, perking when Ava slaps down some menus on the table to comb through.

She shakes her head, leaning over the side of her chair to shift the menu’s towards them. “Yes she’s not quite the best, but then again, who in this room is.”

“I hope she’s okay.” Kate frowns.

“She’ll be fine,” Clint stands with a grimace, adjusting his left hearing aid, as he moves to view the menus Ava laid down. “She needed to get that off her chest, they both did. But they’ll be okay.”

Kate just turns to look towards the door, small frown marring her face, before she’s uttering softly. “That just, didn’t seem like the best conversation to have, and Val is probably one of the worst people to argue in front of, that’s all.”

Clint just ruffles her hair, placing a menu in front of her.

––⧗––

Which is exactly what Yelena is thinking when Bucky finds her sitting against the wall, dried tear marks roaming the tips of her cheeks.

“Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay?” Yelena muffles out, blank stare catching the floor.

“You’ve seen better days.” He sits beside her, eyes training on the sky. “But so have I, so, I don’t think I’m one to talk.”

“If this is what therapy does I will stop going.”

“I dunno kid,” his eyes leave the sky to trace over her instead, mouth quirking up. “It’s a pretty good look on you.”

“Me bitching and boo-hoo-ing because I’m worried about boy is good look on me?”

“You crying and feeling worried about someone else, and letting them see it, is a good look on you.” Bucky offers to her instead.

“I am an assassin, I was trained to—”

Bucky places a hand on her shoulder, effectively halting her words. “You were trained to kill people and you started learning that when you were five years old. You were also trained, to not show your emotions and that showing them makes you weak.”

Yelena looks to the ground, eyes downtrodden before she stares at Bucky, lashes adorned with tears, speaking quietly. “What if he hurts himself?”

“What if he doesn’t? What if this is what he needs to get control of it? What if this helps him?”

“How could this possibly help him?”

“Yelena you heard what he said. He wants to protect us, he wants to protect you.”

“I do not need protecting.”

Bucky’s mouth twists up in a rare smile, a genuine one for once. “And neither does he. I honestly think between the two of you, the God with enhanced everything has better chances in a fight.” He gave a distant chuckle. “You have to understand, the two of you are going to want to protect each other no matter what. It’s the unfortunate byproduct of a little thing called love.” Yelena tenses, body sitting straighter than before as he continues. “And, unfortunately, you both are in the hero business, so that makes that want to save into a need to save.”

“I do not think it is wise decision for him.” She presses, hand going to play with the rings on her fingers.

“For him or for you?” The Winter Soldier lifts an eyebrow at her. “You can admit to being scared Yelena. It’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to be worried about what could happen to him.”

“Is not,” she pauses, trying to gather her thoughts as she licks her lips. “I am worried about him. I cannot lie that my skin does not crawl with idea of him entering that mindset again. It is not one that I can, one that I feel I can handle. You have to understand me Bucky. We didn’t meet Bob in most stable environment, the last time he did this, it was, it was very painful for him.”

“Yelena,” Bucky starts, leaning forward to rest his hands on his knees, “I know that’s what happened. But this time, it will be different. We’ll all be there to watch over him. If it becomes too much, if he can’t handle it, we can pull the plug. Not to mention, that Bob will have control over how he does, and what he does.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because we’ll be there Yelena. All of us will be there. And you forget, we have leverage.”

At her quizzical expression Bucky chuckles. “Bob won’t do anything that Val asks, at least not anymore. She can’t do anything if you’re not on board because he’s not gonna listen to anyone but you. Not to mention, that boy is so far gone for you, that all you have to do, is think. Now use your brain and let’s get back down there. I think it will turn out better than you think.”

Yelena looks at the older man, an idea forming in her head before she was standing, punching Bucky in the arm (not the metal one of course). “If you tell anyone I cried I will release some very cryptic messages of yours.”

“Nice try, I delete all of my messages.”

“Not the ones on the Cloud.”

“…what’s the cloud again?”

––⧗––

Fifteen minutes later, Yelena was walking back in to the conference room, not even flinching at the sudden pairs of eyes on her.

(she makes a stop by the bathroom to splash cold water on her face, covering the tracks of an upset heroine with no problem)

She inhales deeply, noticing Sam give Bob an encouraging nod, before he was swallowing, moving over to allow her back into her seat. He was shooting a moon-eyed stare at her, face pulled down in a small frown as if he didn’t want to back down but he didn’t know how to tell her.

(god she really needs to work on his facial expressions with him)

She just sat down, graceful as she is, slipping her hand down his arm, before she was gripping his. She could feel the tension leave his body, fingers gripping her own, harder than he realized (his strength somehow too much and too little).

“Are we done acting like we’re in a telenovela now?” Val asks, hands going to rub at her forehead, smile uncanny on her face. “Finally.”

“I agree with Bob retraining but I have demands.” Yelena immediately speaks ignoring her. “You will be nowhere near training facility. You will have nothing to do with this and you will have no reports. You will, however, transfer everything you know about Project Sentry to us. I want test files, videos, the things you know about his power and what you intended it to be. And you will stay far away from Bob and if I catch a whiff of you trying to intervene, I will kill you Valentina.”

Ava snorts the moment the words leave her mouth with John nodding to the side in agreement. 

Sam and Bucky shoot a look towards each other but otherwise say nothing, their silence the endorsement it seemed it was. 

Valentina’s jaw clenches, eerie smile still on her face. “I understand.”

Bob’s brows furrow, and he licks his lips, reaching a hand out to run through his hair. “I have something.” He spoke up again before Yelena could continue.

Everyone’s eyes shift to him, and he speaks up voice small for just a moment. “I want Sam and Bucky to clear me.” Yelena stares at him in disbelief. “If they don’t believe I’m ready, if they don’t think it’s controllable, I don’t care how much I try, I won’t go anywhere until they say.”

Another confirmation from Val and Yelena decides right then and there. “I want a special facility built for Bob to practice, something secluded that only the Avengers know about.” She turns to stare at Bob, a timid smile finding it’s way to her face. “And, I want to volunteer to be one to test Sentry and the Void.”

Bob’s hand went slack in her own and Alexei immediately responds with rejection. “No! Lena, no!”

“Yelena,” Bob’s eyes trace her face, his own pinching inward.

“Realistically, I think I have best prospects to work with him. Plus,” she strokes her thumb over Bob’s hand. “If you can’t hurt me, who can you hurt.”

“I don’t want to hurt you at all.” He murmurs, gaze dropping to trace the table, shoulders going taunt at the thought.

Yelena almost rescinded her words at the look on his face, but she knew she needed to do this, because if it wasn’t her, who would it be. “I know it’s dangerous,” she addresses everyone. “But I think that I can be the best person to pull him out, or I think I could be the best to fight against him.” She suddenly turns to Ava, “You said it first time, I didn’t get my ass beat the way you guys did.”

“You think he was subconsciously holding back against you.” She supplies helpfully as Yelena nods. “It’s a dangerous gamble, but I think it’s a valid option.”

Yelena gives her a nod in response and Bob’s grip around her fingers strengthens, his hold gripping her now with crushing strength. She relishes at the feel before she continues speaking. “It is no secret that Bob and I are together. He went easy on me when we first met, I think that part of him will still protect me from his other sides as well. So I think, it can, it can only be me.”

Valentina, to her surprise, nods, mouth pursing. “I will allow it, but I would like more safe holds in place before you start. Nothing can happen to you or to Robert in the process.”

“Oh Val,” Walker cuts into the conversation once again. “The witches heart did grow didn’t it.”

“More like Black Widow is one of the faces of the New Avengers, and the younger sister of the original Black Widow.” Kate spoke up, eyes still on Yelena. “Don’t give that rich lady any credit.”

Yelena offers her friend a smile who gives a bright one back in return. “Bishop Security will build the facility, I’ll pass off the info to Captain America and Mr. Barnes. They can be the ones to give it out as they see fit.” Kate eyes Valentina, who was grinding her teeth the longer she spoke

“And if I don’t agree?”

“Then find yourself new Avengers.” Sam offers with a shoulder.

“You’d leave the world unprotected? Over simple leadership rights?”

“We don’t need to be Avengers to save people. We would just be heroes, trying to do the right thing.”

Valentina scowls, mouth drooping with her eyes twitching. “You can’t all be Avengers.” She sighs, her last attempt to sway him.

“Why?” Yelena voices. “We can have separate teams. The Avengers, the New Avengers—”

“The Young Avengers!” Kate supplies. “There’s a group of us, and we’re young, well I’m not that young. I mean I certainly am not this old man’s age,” she points a thumb at Clint. “Or, yours Mr. Barnes,” the words left her mouth with a subtle infliction that had Yelena rolling her eyes. “But they’re young kids, ones that I think need help and guidance and the Avengers label, while a weighted title, would allow us to grow, because let’s face it, those of us at this table may age out, because we certainly won’t be in our seventies fighting for the good of mankind.”

“Pretty sure I’m like 117.” Bucky mumbles.

“You look great for being in your hundred’s.” Kate (almost) swoons and Yelena shoots her friend a look that says ‘cool it’ at the same time that Joaquín’s face skews slightly to the side of her. “Anyways, separate teams! I think that’s a good way to discern us.”

“And how do we determine who is on what?”

“I think we already have.” Bucky gives her a pointed look. “This team, we can stay the New Avengers, we’re already getting familiar with each other and we have a good thing going. Kate can manage the Young Avengers,” he inclined a nod towards her.

“I can help her with them.” Clint taps the table. “Like the kid mentioned some of us are gonna age out. I’ve been fighting a while and, I could use my spare time to train them, but eventually, I think retiring will be where I finally settle, for real this time.”

Bucky continues with a gesture towards Sam. “Then Sam’s got the Avengers. He’ll form a team, and we’re still all under his command. That’s all you’re getting Val.”

She breathes heavily through her nose. “You’re not letting up on this are you?”

“Afraid not.”

“They won’t be happy none of you want to work with them.”

“With all due respect,” Sam stands, frame sturdy. “That’s your problem.”

She shook her head, smile finally dispersing from her face. “They will make it harder, on all of you.”

“And that’s our problem.” Sam gave her a smile, one that indicated he would have no problems with that going forward. “It’s been a pleasure working with you Ms. de Fontaine.”

––⧗––

“I’m surprised she left that easily,” Kate gave a small yawn, blinking the sleep from her eyes. “I thought she would put up more of a fight.”

“I think Yelena threatening to kill her deterred her from arguing.” Clint snorts, eyes searching the skyline as he took as sip of his drink.

“I only threatened once.” She almost bit out but she’d already exuded enough emotion of front of them for the day.

There was silence between the three before Clint spoke up again, not looking to her but addressing her for once. “How’s the kid?”

Yelena’s body tenses, and she bows ready to snap at Clint to mind his own business when Kate leans forward, her concern bleeding heavily in her body language. She rolls her shoulders back, eyes catching Ava, Bucky and Sam making their way to the balcony with them. “I, I haven’t spoken to him just yet.”

“He went to his floor after Valentina left.” Ava offers with a tsk. “Hasn’t come out since then.”

Yelena frowns, looking towards her teammate. “Perfect, that’s exactly the mindset he should be in before trying to connect with Sentry and the Void.”

Ava glowers at her. “Yes, Yelena, like I’m the one he’s upset with.”

“Give him some time.” Bucky counters, pushing Ava to sit next to Yelena, and though they both roll their eyes, neither tries to move. “Kate has to build the facility first, we’re not exactly anywhere near doing any training with him.”

Yelena just looks down at her hands, before her stare lifts to find Bucky. “He’s been training with you on the side hasn’t he?”

He shifts in his seat, eyes not leaving her. “Yeah, he has. We’ve been doing some things to get him used to his strength.”

“I thought you said he doesn’t have control of Sentry or the Void just yet?” Sam looks between the two of them.

“He doesn’t,” Ava blinks at him. “But we’ve had some, instances, of his powers coming out.”

“What do you mean?” Clint asks this time, brows furrowing as he took a sip of his beer.

“His strength comes and goes,” Yelena vocalized, giving a soft hum. “I have… Bob has to be careful, sometimes he has the same strength as the average person, but, recently, he’s been showcasing more, enhanced strength than normal. I woke up with a bruise once, here,” she placed a hand on her thigh, and another on her stomach. “And here.”

“Super strength in bed doesn’t sound that bad though does it?” Ava chuckles and Yelena lifts a pen from the tray next to her, before she’s embedding it into the cushion as Ava ghosts away.

“No, it doesn’t.” Kate nods, wincing when Yelena turned a twitching eye at her. “Sorry Yelena.”

“I’m just saying, a cheeky little bruise means it must have been pretty fun night doesn't it?” Ava gives a small quirk of her mouth.

The men , to their credit just ignore Ava, though Clint slightly winces, probably procuring the same disdain for this conversation surrounding Yelena as he would Kate. Sam nodded, an understanding look on his face as spoke. “Is it only in bed? That his strength shows up?”

Yelena shook her head. “No it isn’t. I haven’t had any bruising recently due to that but the others…”

Ava spoke up again, eyes firmly on Yelena, who leaned forward to grab a water from the table. “We think the common denominator is Yelena though.” She bit her lip. “We went on a mission and Yelena got hurt. When we came back, Bob punched Walker who was supposed to be her coverage, and he was on the medical floor with a shattered arm. It took Alexei and Bucky holding him, for me to sedate him. We think he knew he was gearing back up, so he held back what he could to let us subdue him.”

Kate let out a quiet ‘oof’ while Clint and Sam both raised an eyebrow. “And…?”

Ava gave a quick glance to Bucky who nodded to her in response. “He wasn’t aware but, he woke up looking for Yelena. When he didn’t find her, let’s just say, Bucky was also on the medical floor for a little while.”

“His strength is, so different from ours.” Bucky gives a single nod as he starts speaking. “I’m trying to train him how to hold back, but with his strength being as sporadic as it is, it’s harder sometimes to explain. I think it would be beneficial for him to learn how to control Sentry and the Void. If it means his strength is always there that’s great, but I think it would help a lot to ensure we don’t have issues like that again.”

“Well, I know you said Yelena is a common denominator but, is there anything else?” Sam asks, hand going to frame his face. “Like anything else that you know can have an effect on him in anyway?”

“The sun,” Yelena offers quietly. “He says being in the sun helps, it can, recharge him? Both physically and mentally.”

“With that, it seems that his mental state tends to reflect in his powers.” Bucky’s brows furrow. “That time in New York, it was, it was similar to some of the episodes I’ve had. Of course, mine were more, Soviet brainwashing, his are definitely a lot more mental based.”

“I think you need to talk to him kid.” Clint inclines his head, looking towards Yelena. Her heckles raise and she wants to snap at him again, but she doesn’t, even deflating when his next words reach her. “If his powers, heighten, when you’re involved, and his mental state reflects on his powers, it can get messy. If you’re going to be training with him as the Sentry and the Void, you need to be careful. I don’t know what you guys saw when he blacked out New York, but if you are the common denominator, it might be more dangerous for it to be you.”

“What do you mean?” Yelena glares. “Bob would never hurt me.”

“I agree with you, I think he would implode before that happens, before the thought even crosses his mind.” Clint gave her a brief smile. “But if he cares for you the way it seems he does, the possibility that he does hurt you, it might not be something he can handle. You need to prepare yourself, and especially him for the chance that he does.”

“The thing is,” Bucky starts, gaining her attention. “He’s grown a lot. You both have, but Clint is right. Not to mention, we don’t know what his fears are now.”

“You think they’ve gotten worse?”

“Fears grow Yelena,” Bucky purses his lips. “They change and they evolve. And you’re going to need to be careful while you’re in there. For the both of you. Because if he reacted that way, when you got hurt and he wasn’t there, if he hurts you himself.” He trailed. “It’s gonna be worse, it’s gonna be way worse than what we’ve seen.”

She blinks, pursing her lips before she ducked her head. “I know. I’ll try to be careful.”

“Don’t try.” He offers her a tiny but pursed smile, one that doesn’t reach his eyes. “You need to be careful and if you can’t guarantee that, you won’t be doing this.”

She stares at him. “You wouldn’t pull me from doing this.”

He bit the skin on his bottom lip. “You’ve got the best chance out of this team to get him through this. But if you can’t guarantee you will go into this with the intention to not get hurt, I will pull you.”

“That,” Yelena’s mouth pulls into a frown. “Would be a very stupid decision and you have no reason—”

“You’re emotionally compromised.” Bucky counters right away. “The both of you are. You might be the best shot we got, but if something happens to you and Bob is reduced to the Void again, who will we have? We all got him out of that space last time and if you aren’t there, with the connection the two of you have now, who’s to say it will be possible again. So, I’m gonna ask you, will you be careful?”

She pauses, staring at him for a moment, taking his words in as her eyes slip from him in favor of training on the clouds in front of her. “Like my life depends on it.”

“Good.” He gives her a smile, hand twitching as he slides a sweaty palm down his leg. “Kate, how long until you can get the facility up and running?”

Kate, whose eyes slid from Yelena to Bucky, just gave him a curt smile before she was clearing her throat. “Can you give me a month?”

“I can give you two.” Sam claps, and her smile smooths when it was directed his way. “As imperative as this seems, we’re not on a time crunch here. Plus, I’d like to talk to Bob every week, or other week if possible, have him do some training individually with Bucky, maybe Walker. Then we can see where his headspace is at and hopefully, make sure he’s in a good area, before we throw him into this. How does that sound Yelena?”

She moves her jaw. “I’m not his handler.”

“No, but last I checked, you are the one who demanded everything in there from Valentina.” He gives her a well-meaning smile, because Sam Wilson is only ever well-meaning, she is realizing. “Why don’t you talk it over with him if you can. When you have an answer, let Bucky know what he says, or you can tell me yourself.”

She huffs out, breath dispersing before she was shooting to her feet, leaving them all behind.

The moment the door to the balcony shuts, Ava is snorting at Bucky. “You didn’t have to be such an ass about that. And that’s coming from me Barnes.”

Bucky sighs, staring at her before he’s agreeing. “I wasn’t trying to be an ass, I just, Bob went easy on her when they weren’t in love with each other.” Ava raises a brow and Kate rears her head back in shock at his words. “I have no doubt that he will go easy on her again, but, but if he hurts her. We won’t be dealing with the kid who shattered Walker’s arm but let us subdue him, we’re dealing with the one that darkened half of New York, the one who receded so far into himself, that for a second, we didn’t know what we were going to do.”

There was another bout of silence and Clint gave a him nod of understanding.

Sam gave him an amused smile before he was speaking up. “From what I gathered by talking to Bob, he doesn’t want to be sidelined. I understand what you mean, but have some faith in your team.”

A tap on the window behind them pulled the attention, where was Joaquín was pointing to his phone, brows furrowed as he continued listening. His face scrunched up before he shot a look towards Sam, who gave him a quick nod back.

“Neither of them seem like the type to just give in. From what it sounds like, Bob’s willing to try for your team. You all seem to be thinking about this, and every possibility that could happen and that’s good, you need to be prepared for all of it. But I think it’s also good to remember that, a good leader has faith in his team, in the going right and less of the going wrong. And have some faith in the kid, it seems like he’s going to try his hardest.” Sam gave Bucky an easy going smile, turning it to everyone as he nodded goodbye. “Let us know when you can get that facility up and running Kate. I think Bob will surprise us all in the best way, and it will turn out way better than we think.”

––⧗––

Yelena’s eyes shoot to the ceiling as she releases a quick breath, walking the expanse of her room. The argument she’s having with Bob has been ongoing for the last two hours, neither of them willing to budge, going back and forth with the same points over and over again. They’ve been roaming in circles, the disagreement steady on both ends. Him, upset with her volunteering, her, with him even wanting to do this in the first place.

And it didn’t seem like either of them were letting up anytime soon.

“Why would you even put yourself in the line of fire?” Bob shook his head, rounding away from her once again, sighing heavily. “Why would you do this?”

“You didn’t even give me a choice!”

“A choice? Yelena what are you talking about? I can’t form my own thoughts now? I have to run everything by you?”

“When it’s something like this, when it’s about your life and those powers? Yes!”

“I don’t ask that of you. When you go on a mission, when you leave the tower, I don’t, I don’t ask you to run anything by me! I let you make your own decisions, I let you be you!”

“So you think I’m taking something from you? What, you think I’m like the Red Room? Not giving you an option? Not giving you a choice?”

“I-I, I didn’t say that. You were against me doing this and now because I want to, you’re just volunteering to be subjected to something too?”

“I’m only doing this Bob, because I care about you. Why aren't you understanding that?”

“I know you care about me,” he gives another sigh, grinding out. “I get that, but you don’t… Did you even think about what this was gonna be? About what you were signing up for? You’re willing to go inside of that darkness, you want to go toe to toe with the megalomaniac that is Sentry. And I don’t think you understand, Yelena, I’m not. They aren’t me Yelena, you could get hurt. Badly. You think I’m going to be able to live with that?”

“But you could get hurt too Bob. What aren’t you getting?” She bites her bottom lip, mouth wobbling as she speaks. “Why is it so bad that I’m involved, and you aren’t?”

“Because I can’t die!” Bob finally bursts. “I tried okay, it doesn’t, it doesn’t work Yelena. I can’t die, I won’t die, but you, you can. And, and I could be the one to kill you.”

She stares at him with wide eyes, body still with shock as he continues.

“Do you get that? If something goes wrong, if I, if I can’t control this and you die, not only will you be gone, but I will have to live with the fact that I did it, and I can’t even follow you. I won’t be able to put a bullet through my head, or overdose, because I cannot die.”

“Wh…what are you…”

“After the, the stuff, you guys. Do you remember,” his eyes shift, suddenly wet and distant as he looks away from her. “Val called you all on a mission, and you came back, and I didn’t… the gym was destroyed and I didn’t remember like, anything.”

Her eyes are firmly on him, and she’s wracking her brain to pick out the moment he’s talking about before it clicks. “You’re talking about when we went on the Uganda mission, all of us. The first one we all went on without you.” She took a deep breath and his face pinches when she speaks, breathy and pained. “My first mission after the Red Room copycat.”

He exhales shakily, words escaping him slower than he would like them too. “I, I tried to, but it didn't work. I, uh, I woke up as Sentry and I think, I was still too weak. I passed out and when I woke up, I was in the medical wing, and I didn’t, I didn’t remember anything.”

Yelena stares at him, face slowly morphing into the beginnings of a sob.

(because she remembers that fear—the one she had when walker came shifting out of the elevators after seeing the cameras down in the gym—bob limp on his shoulder—no wounds on his body but no response to his name)

“I woke up and I told all of you that I didn’t remember, and that was true. That was completely true at the time, but then one day, one day it just came back to me and I realized what I did. Or what I had tried to do. I had tried to kill myself.” He swallows, eyes still not looking at her.

Though when he finally gathers the courage to do so, his heart breaks in his chest at the look she gives him. Her face is pulling down, mouth trembling and she looks like she’s going to cry so intensely. His brows pinch together and he immediately moves to reach for her, to take her in his arms and soothe her, but she smacks his hands away, backing up so he can’t touch her.

“You tried to commit suicide,” she could barely get the words out. “You were going to leave me alone.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “No, that’s not, I wanted to, but not because of you, I just, I had just remembered,” his voice trails, words coming out as a whisper. “I remembered everything I did as the Void, all the people I hurt, and you have to understand. Yelena, I wasn’t, I wasn’t thinking about you.” His eyes shut the moment the words leave his mouth, realizing the weight of what he said.

Yelena couldn’t help it, she knew she shouldn’t have been upset the way she currently was but that didn’t stop the way she was flinching at his words, the feeling like her chest was being cracked open hitting her. “You let me get close to you, and then you were going to leave.”

“Yelena,” he stares at her with a frown. “You know that’s not fair. It’s not, it’s not that simple.”

“I lost my sister Bob and you saw how losing her wrecked me, how I still live with that and you,” her voice drops as the words leave her, shaky and broken up. “You were going to leave me too? You were going to subject me to a life without you.” The tears flow freely down her face. “You didn’t care enough, about me, to tell me this?”

“Don’t do that,” he shook his head. “Please don’t, don’t do that to me, you know I care for you Yelena, I, I lo…” He ran a shaky hand down his face, breathing out slow before he was trying again. “I didn’t want to hurt you, but Bucky and I, we, we thought—” 

“Bucky knew?” Her words came out rushed. “You told Bucky? But, Bob, you couldn’t tell me?”

“I had to tell Bucky because I couldn’t tell you.” He exhales shakily, hands going to his waist, jaw clenching. “I didn’t, I didn’t want to hurt you, I didn’t want you to look at me, the way you’re looking at me now. I couldn’t tell you and have it change whatever was between us. I, this doesn’t change the conversation we were having Yelena.” He wipes at his face, smearing the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. “I, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but, it doesn’t change what I’m saying. I know I can’t die, and because of that I can’t lose you too.”

She laughs, turning to look away from him with a sneer. “And I won’t let you go into that space without me.”

“I don’t want you there.” He tries one last time.

“And I don’t think we’re going to agree.” She looks towards him with a frown, mouth pursing before she was huffing and wiping more tears from her face.

“I don’t think so either,” he stares at her, mouth thinning out as he turns to leave the room. He pauses, turning back before making his way towards her. His hand finds hers for just a second as he leans to press a kiss to her forehead, letting his lips linger, gripping her fingers before he’s releasing her and letting go. “Goodnight Yelena.”

The door shuts before she’s puffing out a small, “goodnight Bob.” The tears stream down her face, and the tears transform into body wracking sobs. She truly doesn’t know how it got to be this bad, with her sitting against her bed, staring out her window, with what seemed like a whole in her chest and a wound in her stomach.

–– sᴇɴᴛʀʏ ––

It takes approximately one month and seventeen days for Kate to radio their tower that the training facility is ready to be used.

With that they set the time, exactly three days from the call, to make their way to begin training. And with that, an anxiety rockets through the Watchtower.

(most of it bleeds off of bob—rolling from him in nasty waves—a certain spark of darkness hitting whoever passes by him—almost like his nerves were passing to whoever was near him)

((sam and joaquín got pulled into something that needed captain america and the falcon—going radio silence—leaving bob with no check ins—bucky wanted to halt everything but the anxiety rolling off bob the moment he brought that up—they were worried putting this off would end up worse for wear))

The rest of the team is wary, but definitely not at the level or height that Yelena is currently at.

And they make that very known on the ride to facility.

“Yelena,” John groans out, head thunking against the wall of the jet. “Can you stop bouncing your leg, you’re making my anxiety shoot to the fucking moon.”

“Can you jump out of the plane, you’re annoying me.” She spits back.

“Touchy touchy Belova.” He responds with a yawn.

Yelena sits still, jaw clenching and Ava speaks up from her seat across the jet. “If she stabs you in the jugular because you’re pushing her, I won’t mourn you.”

“I’m not pushing her, I’m just saying that she’s raising the heckles of everyone on this damn jet. Like Bob needs to be even more anxious than he already is.” John sighs.

“Bob will handle this well,” Alexei gestures wildly, standing even though Bucky told him to strap in before they left. “He is strong man, full of strength and power of thousand suns!” He shoots a thumbs up to Bob. “He is also good strong man, would make good husband, good provider,” he looks to Yelena, who glowers at her super soldier father. Alexei lifts his hands in surrender, grinning wide as he gestures to Bob again. “He will survive and come out stronger! Dah!”

Yelena rolls her eyes, but there is a faint partial smile on Bob’s face and it’s the realist one he’s had in the last month, so she’ll forgive Alexei for his anxiety-inducing words if they have the opposite effect on him.

Her eyes trail the ridges of Bob’s face, chest aching at the small smile on it, aching for it to be directed her way instead. Yelena’s leg stops bouncing and her hand is moving before she can stop it, palm covering his. The moment her fingers grasp at his hand, his body almost bows, hand going stiff beneath her own. His hand jerks on the arm rest between them and she wants to yank her hand away, feeling as though she was just burned.

She doesn’t know what compelled her to touch him in that moment; maybe it was seeing him smile at someone who wasn’t her.

This is the most contact they’ve had with each other since that day in the tower, both physically and verbally. And Yelena never thought she would be touch starved, and yet here she is, just wishing he would turn his hand over and grasp her own. But he’s still sore about their fight, about the words that were exchanged, and she doesn’t want to make him even more uncomfortable. 

Especially if his powers reflect his mental state.

The two of them have been staunchly avoiding each other; when one enters the room, the other leaves. The team has been on edge, avoiding speaking about the air around them (save for alexei who wouldn’t know subtly if it hit him in the face). 

Neither have been getting enough sleep, too worried about the other but not willing to back down from their original complaint for each other.

(this is the longest they’ve been apart since they got together—she’s been sleeping alone on her floor—him on his—and she misses his warmth, the comfort he gives—she just misses bob)

((and he misses her in return—the way she soothes him when he wakes up from a nightmare—the cool touch of her lips against his forehead—the way she snuggles into his arms—he just misses yelena))

She doesn’t want him to stew in negativity, so she gives him the smallest smile, eyes trailing down, moving her hand off of his.

Before she can retract it fully, his large hand is grasping hers, callouses rubbing against her fist.

She turns to look at him and he moves his eyes from her hand to her face, watching with rapt attention as his eyes roam over her eyes, cheeks, dipping to her lips, almost seeming to drink in her features, like he can’t map the planes quick enough. He grips her hand, threading his fingers through her own, before he’s bringing it to his mouth to press a kiss to her skin. He keeps it held tightly in his lap, as if the only thing he needed to touch her was her to make the first move.

Yelena looks at him, mouth parting and suddenly she is a woman parched in the sun. She wants to hug him to her, kiss his face, his mouth, his everything. She’s been denied the affection of the love of her life and she’s receiving it once again and all she wants is to bask in his glow.

She tenses for a fraction of a second, the weight of her feelings hitting her like a freight train.

(she would have the realization she’s in love with him right before she’s about to go into a semi-life or death situation)

He looks to her, opening his mouth to ask if she’s okay, when Bucky speaks up. “Jet’s landing team, get ready to descend and dismount in five. We have a forty-five minute window set up, then we’re getting started.”

Bob’s body language shifts again, shoulders bowing and body going taunt. Yelena expects him to release her hand from his hold but he just tightens his grip, body almost vibrating as the repulsers on the jet echo louder announcing their descent.

Alexei roars as they land, yelling that the ride was too easy though he looks green in the face as he says it. Ava rolls her eyes, smirking and laughing out loud when the jostle as they touch the ground has Alexei jerking back, falling onto his ass. John just sighs, yawning briefly as he unbuckles himself and stands, Ava doing the same. Yelena moves, shifting her hand causing Bob’s grip to tighten once again, almost afraid she was going to let go. She gives a soft hum, fingers brushing over his knuckles and though his grip loosens, his leg begins to bounce. She releases her seatbelt, moving to stand as he stays firmly seated, knuckles turning white as they grip the arm rest of the seat next to him.

When the hum of the jet ceases, Bucky stands, leaning over to press the button to open the door. “Alright, Kate said she’d meet us at the front to get us inside. She said it will only take a few minutes to get things situated. Bob, Kate said we’re gonna head to the main hall to get changed, then she’ll take us to the bunker where we can get started on doing your training.” Bucky stops speaking, looking at his teammate when he gets no verbal response. As the silence stretched, the bounce of Bob’s leg picked up speed. “Let’s go ahead and get moving.”

There’s a small silence as Bob stays seated. When he makes no move to get up Bucky tsk’s at Yelena, jerking his head for her to do something. She raises an eyebrow back at him and then she turns, an idea forming in her head. She makes a small noise before she’s trying to pull her hand from Bob’s. His head jolts up, eyes finding hers before he’s yanking her hand back towards, albeit softly to him, but enough that she careens into his lap with an “Ow,” leaving her arm at an awkward angle.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry,” he lets go of her immediately, hands going to her waist before he’s lifting her with ease onto his lap to examine her hand. “Yelena, I’m so sorry, are you okay? Fuck.”

She stares at him, brows pinching in as she places a hand in his hair, looking to Bucky, who gives a quick nod to her in return. “We’ll give you a minute.” He gives her a quick easy grin, pulling Alexei with him ignoring his protests.

John gives a nod, before he too is walking down the ramp with Ava who surprisingly makes no move to stay, just offering a similar head jerk in tandem.

“I’m okay you know?” she begins, voice soft, softer than it’s been recently.

“I hurt you,” he just uttered, voice already sinking low. “The whole point of this fucking thing is to learn how to manage this and I fucking hurt you.”

“Hey, no,” she tries, attempting to gather his attention but she can just feel his body pulling from her, eyes widening as he continues to disassociate. “Bob, stop, I’m okay, you didn’t do anything.”

“I hurt you,” his eyes pulsate yellow for just a second and she is only moderately filled with surprise, because truly, she did not think it would get this bad this fast. “That’s all I do, I hurt people, I can’t do things correctly, I’m always messing things up and I hurt you.”

“No radnój, you didn’t I’m fine—”

“Can’t do anything right, can never do anything right, just like he used to say, always like he used to say. Hurting the girl I’m in love with, it would fucking happen because I don’t know what I’m doing. Who was I kidding; I always mess things up. I’m always messing everything up.” He barely breathes, words coming out a jumbled mess the longer he rambles.

(yelena caught the important part and as much as she’d like to ruminate on it she doesn’t have the time)

“Bob,” she attempts again. “Dusha, I’m okay.”

Again he doesn’t respond to her, eyes going shaky, flickering between gold and his natural blue hue. The tips of his fingertips begin to bleed black and Yelena can’t think of another way to stop it aside from slamming her mouth to his.

He makes a noise of confusion, hands finding perch on her hips. There is a brief moment of nothing before he’s mouthing enthusiastically back at her. He shifts her, hand snatching her leg to sit her flush against his body, one arm going to wrap around her waist, pulling her into him even closer than she thought possible.

His other hand weaves up to card through her hair, and he’s gripping her with a bruising strength like she suddenly might disappear. Her hands grasp his face, one slinking to grip his neck, the other going to cradle his jaw. Her entire body is on fire, responding to him with a fever she hasn’t felt in a month and she can’t help the sudden need to fill her every thought with Bob. Yelena presses against him harder, gasping into his mouth when he tugs his hand from her hair in favor of pressing it along her stomach, to slide up and splay against her chest. 

Every nerve in her body is lighting up in response to him and she wants him to go even further, press even further into her.

Before she can beg him to continue, there’s a step to her right and Ava is speaking clearly. “Are the two of you okay in—Jesus Christ hello there.” She turns away from them at a neck-breaking speed. “You know, I’m all for a good time, and you two certainly look like you’re getting to the good stuff, but I don’t think this is the most appropriate time if I’m being honest.”

Yelena pulls away from Bob’s mouth with a shaky exhale, wanting nothing more than to press herself against him, but she stops because Ava is right.

(but she also knows that bob just kissed her like he couldn’t breathe without her so there is a giddiness in her brain that won’t leave just yet)

Bob grunts low and rough, mouth trying to chase hers, but she places a hand against his mouth, speaking, voice husky. “Sorry Ava, we’ll be out in a minute.” She clears her throat. “Just give us a minute.”

Ava gives a rough nod of her head before she’s nearly sprinting out, voice catching. “Horny horny superheroes.”

Yelena slips off Bob’s lap, graceful and quick, knees buckling just slightly, the emotion of what happened flushing her cheeks. “We need t-to get off, uhm, get ready for training I mean.” She swallows around the saliva in her mouth, the stammer and the pause in her words surprising her.

Bob stares at her for a moment, a second too long, an unwavering fire in his eyes as he drags them up and down Yelena’s frame. She holds the eye contact for a moment before turning away.

(and before she rips his clothes off and bares her soul)

She hears the click of his seatbelt finally, and then his body heat is behind her and he’s pressing a kiss to her neck, then her cheek, finally to her head and she rolls her head away from him, eyes fluttering for a moment, grasping his hand and moving forward to walk down the ramp to the rest of the team.

“You are a dangerous man Robert Reynolds.” She exhales low.

He makes no noise behind her, but she knows he heard what she said, the sudden lock of his hand the biggest indicator, coarse hand strained in her own. She takes a deep breath before she is leaning back, whispering to him. “I meant, because if I continued letting you kiss me we would not be doing what we were here to do.”

But the damage was already done and he was squeezing her hand once before releasing it and walking past her with no other words. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, feeling the urge to drop dead right then and there.

Yelena blew out a soft puff of air before she was exiting the jet, following after him with a scowl.

Ava shoulders a small shrug of apology when she notices them trail away from each other. “If I knew that not letting the two of you get dirty in the back of the jet would cause another freeze I wouldn’t have interrupted. So I, sincerely hope that isn’t because of me.”

“No,” Yelena looks towards Bucky, who shoots her a questionable stare, eyes raking in the messy hair both of them are sporting, offering her a similar raise of his shoulders as Bob walks past him. “No it was me. I said something that he misunderstood.”

Ava’s eyebrows lift and she looks like she wants to know more, but she opts to fall into step with Yelena as the two begin to trail after the rest of the team.

The door at the front of the cream colored building opens, and Kate walks out, voice carrying over the expanse as they near her. “Thunderbolts!” She laughs and Yelena feels her mouth quirk in a tiny smile, one that disappears when Bob looks to her with no smile on his face, just a sad pinch of his eyebrows.

He looks away from her and Yelena realizes that he’s only remembering that day in New York.

Kate catches her eye, offering her a bright smile, though Yelena watches as it slips when she notices the distance Bob is walking from her.

She lifts her shoulder up awkwardly because she doesn’t have anything to say.

Her friend just shoots a subtle curious look her way, before she’s turning to Bob, who gives her a very faint smile in greeting coupled with a, “Hi Kate.”

She doesn’t let her confusion stop her from shooting him a big genuine smile one that has a small equally sincere one on his face in return. She smacks his arm in hello before she’s speaking out softly. “Hiya Bob. Glad you’re all here,” her smile turns from him to the rest of the team. “We’ll get started with getting everyone’s scans for clearance purposes. Some of the training areas are locked due to specific needs, Bob’s training room is one of them!” She turns back to him. “Only the Avengers and some specific people have access to it.”

Ava nods as Alexei roars that he’s an Avenger with high-level clearance. John rubs a hand along his face, pushing Alexei from behind to get him to shut up as Kate turns, gesturing to the man who had walked out with her. “This is Agent Griff, he’s been vetted by Sam, Clint and comes from Pepper Stark’s directory of promising and trustworthy SHIELD agents. He’s the head of this facility when any member of the Avengers isn’t here.”

Agent Griff gives a nod, eyes lingering on Bucky, shooting to Yelena before he’s standing straight again as Kate continues speaking. “Agent Griff is one of only six agents that has the same clearance level as all the Avengers.”

“Why six agents?” Bucky asks, arms crossing over his chest.

“Glad you asked! Helen Cho dispatched a protege of hers to be the in-house medical trainer and supplier, since she can’t be everywhere at once. We have someone who’s worked closely with Dr. Banner, someone who’s familiar with Dr. Strange, someone who was off-world with Nick Fury for a bit and finally someone who worked with the original team of Avengers.” Kate offers with a grin. “We tried to get a team to cover most of the bases of people we work with, but also those who are familiar with different tech and different needs.”

She turns to the stoic man behind her, “Agent Griff?”

He gives a nod of acknowledgment before he’s stepping up, gesturing for everyone to follow him inside as he begins speaking about clearances and measures needed security wise.

As they move forward to follow him, Kate falls behind to get in step with Yelena, though she makes no move to speak.

“Go ahead and ask Kate.” Yelena looks at her, face passive.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, biting at her bottom lip as their pace slows compared to the rest of the team.

Yelena just stares at her friend, before she’s shaking her head, making her way towards the set of elevators with a small frown on her face. “Bob and I, we just haven’t,” Yelena gestures awkwardly between her and where he’s walking, “Uhm, been talking.”

“Since that meeting?” Kate replies, blinking in shock, hand reaching for her badge to swipe at the elevator scanner. “At all?”

“At all.” Ava cut in from behind them, and Kate jumps in surprise, eyes shooting to her. “Yelena’s been snappy, Bob’s been sappy, I’m just ready to get this over with.”

Kate half expects Yelena to snap at the older woman but all she does is give Kate a tired smile in return. The expression on her face is so different than what Kate’s used to and evidently Ava is thinking the same, shooting a troubled frown to Kate as well.

Yelena just continues, either not noticing their exchange or not caring. “He sat next to me, coming over today, and I was, surprised. I was happy, because he’s been avoiding me for the last month and a half.”

“And she’s been avoiding him also, let’s not get that twisted of course.” Ava says, exasperation clear on her face when Yelena brushes her off again. The elevators ding and they watch as the other half of the team follow Agent Griff inside one, Kate gestures the three of them will go in the other. “Although, I don’t think I’d call what you two were up to in the jet avoiding each other. Then again if that’s what you call steering clear, maybe I should start steering clear of some people too.”

Kate puckers her lips, a small airy laugh leaving her as the doors shut on the elevator. “Yelena Belova, just another girl at the end of the day.”

The blonde didn’t dispute the words, the silence of the elevator there for only one moment before Ava is bursting out. “Does Bob have a big todger?”

“Jesus Ava.” Kate snorts, eyes slinking to Yelena with rapt attention, her curiosity clear on her face. 

Yelena shoots a semi-horrified look towards her teammate. “I’m not answering that.”

“Oh? So,” She pauses, eyes narrowing. “It is then.”

Yelena’s eyes move from her face and she keeps them firmly on the door.

“It has to be!” Ava nods, her hand going to cradle her face. “The only way he could have such a famed Black Widow wrapped around his finger is if he’s dickmatized her!”

“You’re a horrible person.” Kate shakes her head, but the smile on her face says that the teasing is right up her alley.

Yelena shakes her head, stepping out of the elevator as the doors open up. She catches sight of Agent Griff directly ahead, holding open the door as Bob walks in. She swallows, rolling her eyes as the two women follow right behind her.

“I just want to know what Bob’s working with.” Ava offers as they walk the hall towards the large room Agent Griff took the others into. Kate lifts her badge once again, the lock clicking open once her credentials flash on screen. “You come out walking bow-legged most of the time so I have to imagine Bob’s got a pretty big third leg down there to satisfy… you…” She trails, as her eyes lift, and they meet the eyes of the other team members. 

The silence stretches and she actually looks a little chastised as she shoots an sheepish look towards Yelena.

(john and bucky both have similar looks of revulsion on their face—there’s full aghast coloring alexei’s features, the man shooting a horrified look from yelena to bob—who is sitting, wide eyed and red faced, confusion lacing his)

“You’re dead to me.” Yelena bit out, eyes closing as she pushes Ava away from her. “Go, shut up.”

Ava whistles, walking away with a sorry directed at both Yelena and Bob.

Bucky just clears his throat, face awkward as he tries to redirect the attention to the task at hand. “Uh, Kate?”

“Yes dear? I mean, yes sir. Not dear, I mean you are a dear, but not a deer. Sorry, yes Mr. Bucky, Barnes, Mr. Barnes?” She made a face, embarrassment clouding her features, before she was speaking up again, soft. “Yes sir?”

Yelena’s shoulders shake as she tries to hold in her laugh but she’s unable to. “Sorry, sorry. I, Kate, sorry.” She waves her hand, but she can’t stop the smile blooming on her face, and then she’s holding her sides from the force of her laughter. “Oh, oh I needed that, I haven’t laughed like that in—sorry continue.”

She catches Bob’s eyes and he’s staring at her with a troubled look, eyes slipping from her to find their way to Bucky once again.

The smile slides right off her face as Bucky just sighs once again. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“Right,” she gives him an apologetic face before she’s taking a deep breath. “Anyway, to put it plainly, the amount of powers that Val had planned, there’s not, you don’t really have a weakness Bob. At least from what I could tell. In order to combat this, we tried to derive some of the things you told us in creating the chamber. One thing, in particular, stuck out to me that you mentioned Yelena.” She offers the girl a small smile. “You said that the sun helped Bob out, so I thought why not get rid of it. The walls and lighting are made with a synthetic feature that can mimic an eclipse. If, the sun gives him his powers, and if it strengthens them, then it’s only right to assume,”

“No sun can take them away.” Bucky finishes with a nod.

“It’s unfortunately, one of the only fail safes we could feasibly come up with. Bob is, virtually indestructible. Project Sentry promised, superhuman everything, speed, strength, stamina, senses, you get the point. It also said energy absorption and manipulation, molecularkinesis, a ton more other kinesises, kinesi? What would be the proper terminology for—”

“Kate,” Yelena cuts her off.

“Doesn’t matter, flight, teleportation, so many other things seem to be possible, so hopefully this is the one thing that can take you down my friend.” She punches Bob in the shoulder, shaking her fist when it feels like she connects with a wall instead. “Jesus dude, eat some junk food that hurt. Anyways, that should hopefully dull any powers or any mood swings. It is a vacuum chamber and there are dispensers built into the walls, we have Thor-grade level gas sedatives should we need to sedate Bob, or remove Yelena. Or both. Not that we’ll need to,” she looks to Bob with unease suddenly on her face. “You know do both. Hopefully not both, it’d be better if it wasn’t both. Not that it’s good if we have to remove Yelena, or sedate you separately. You know what I mean, I, uh, just mean, Jesus can someone cut in now?”

Ava gives a chortle. “Honestly, it was just refreshing to see one’s foot go so far in their mouth.”

Kate turns, shooting a displeased stare Ava’s way before she’s huffing, pulling Bob to his feet. “Griff, show him where to change, please, before I shoot myself in the foot with another arrow. We’ll see you in just a bit, thank you Bob.”

When the two walk out of the room, Kate rounds quickly to the remaining members. “There is a lock on the chamber, one that he does not have clearance too.”

“What?” Yelena bites out when it registers what she has just said. “What do you mean?”

“When creating the chamber, we toyed with the idea of using it as a failsafe if he can’t control his powers.” Kate looks down as if she doesn’t want to continue speaking these words. “Since it would be effective in training him,” she stops.

“It would be effective in holding him.” John supplies, eyes shooting from Bucky to Yelena.

Her fist clenches as she looks at Kate. “You would lock him in there, stuck in that, that void alone? With no way out?”

“Lena,” Alexei walks forward, resting a palm on her shoulder. “It is precaution solnyshko.”

She jerks her shoulder away, removing his hand as she continues to glare at her friend.

“From what you told me, and from the Project Sentry files, if he doesn’t get it under control, he’s a potential Thanos-level threat. You know that,” the girl offers with tired eyes. “I hope to God, Yelena, that this works, because I really don’t want to see him kept in that chamber, but you have to understand, that this is a necessity. One we don’t even know will work.”

“So you want to stick him in chamber, and make him toy with his own life, on possibility he will gain control. And if he doesn’t, you want to keep him locked up, like he is rabid dog, caged for life?”

“Yelena, that’s not,” Kate’s brow pinch. “I don’t want that to happen to him. This whole thing is a gamble, and I think you know that too.”

Yelena shakes her head, lip going to rest firmly between her teeth as she eyes the rest of the team. “Do I have clearance to unlock it?”

Kate holds her friends gaze, almost challenging her in a way, raising an eyebrow, before she’s giving her a withered stare. “…you do.”

“Remove it.” She snaps out harshly, clenching her jaw, the surprise clear on Kate’s face as she continues speaking. “Remove it before we go in.”

“No, ‘Lena, you should keep it.” Alexei tries to reason with her, hand once again finding her shoulder. This time she lets it stay there.

“Yelena,” John begins. “Maybe you should keep it—”

“I will let him out if he’s hurting, if I don’t have clearance, it won’t be me.” She nods, looking down. “Because it would be me.”

“You have his kill switch don’t you?” Ava frowns, speaking up. “Think of it like that.”

Yelena scoffs a laugh, because the kill switch is useless and she knows it. Bucky’s body heaves, and Yelena turns her head to stare at him, knowing he’s thinking the same. His eyes settle on hers and she speaks. “If I saw he was hurting,” she clears her throat, running a hand down her face. “If he were stuck in that chamber, I don’t know what I would do. I’m emotionally compromised.”

His eyes shut, opening slowly when he looks to her, before he’s speaking up. “Remove her clearance to open that chamber.” His gaze stayed firmly on her. “You’re going in there, with the possibility you will be trapped. This changes some things. John,” the super soldier turns as he begins speaking. “You’re keeping Alexei away from the chamber. Ava, you and I will be stationed at the door at all times keeping an eye on what’s going on. Yelena you will be on comms the entire time. Only Ava and I will be here, but it is a necessity now. We’ll pull you if Sentry doesn’t react and hopefully be there to pull you from the Void. Kate, I’d like you to phone Sam, give him a rundown if you can reach him of what’s happening. I want you on the controls, ready to hit any button the moment we need it.”

“No! My ‘Lena needs my help, and young Bob too!” Alexei garbles, annoyance clear on his face.

Yelena’s hand goes to grip the one he has on her shoulder before she’s shaking her head. “No daddy, Bucky is right. You will storm the chamber if something happens, you can’t be here, not this time.”

He stares at her, mouth opening before she looks at him with clear wide eyes. When he sighs, she turns back to Bucky giving him a clear nod of understanding. “Thank you Bucky.”

He shoots a smile her way before he’s taking in a deep breath. “Let’s go get Bob, and let’s get this done."

–– sᴇɴᴛʀʏ ––

Yelena wakes with a start, breathing heavy as she jerks, clawing at her neck, gasping out softly. “Bob.”

Bucky’s voice is echoing in her ear, asking her what’s going on but she can’t respond, because the wind has been knocked clean out of her.

(she can’t remember how she got here—can’t remember what she was doing before this)

She pauses, flinching when a hand reaches out to caress her cheek, eyes fluttering, widening at the yellow pupils directly in front of her.

“Pretty little Belova.” A voice echoes in the chamber and she’s recoiling at what seems like a lack of oxygen around her. “Are you the reason he’s fighting so hard in here?” The touch ghosts away from her, leaving her cheek to trail down her face, perching loosely around her neck.

The moment the touch solidifies the walls disappear and the room shifts. She catches the dampeners gleaming to life, Bucky’s voice crackling in her ear, the words not registering as they taper and eventually die out, sound ceasing aside from the Void in front of her.

(that’s right, she thinks, we were training with bob, training with sentry, but how did the void—)

“Bob, t-take a deep breath.” She swallows around the words, trying to tamper down her own fear. “You’re in control dusha.”

“In control?” The Void speaks up with a laugh and the world shifts with each huff of his breath, “that’s quite funny you know.” His thumb reaches up to stroke over her bottom lip, room going red as she finds herself back in the Watchtower. “I don’t see Bob in control, I just see the Void.”

“No,” she blinks at the Void with wet eyes hand coming to rest on the hand wrapped around her neck, and she struggles to push it away. “He’s in control, because you wouldn’t be holding me like this.” Behind them she can hear the rustle of the jet landing, the thud of footsteps, and the purr of the engines ceasing.

“You think that’s going to save you?” Yellow pupils soften as they take in the rest of her face. “No, that’s not it.” His voice dips low and twisted.

She can hear more footsteps, suddenly seeing both herself, Bucky and Walker come into view. Her voice reaches towards her, the phrase ‘Where’s Bob?’ clear on her lips. Her gazes focuses back on the Void and he’s watching her with rapt attention. “You think you’re going to save him?”

Yelena swallows as John says he sees the cameras down in the gym, saying he’ll go check it out really quick. “Like you saved him this day? Like you were there for him? Interesting to see this day as a shame room suddenly.” He cackles low and rough. “I wonder if it’s because you weren’t there for him? Or maybe it’s because, you know what really happened now?” He stares at her with another tilt of his head. “You feel ashamed you couldn’t be there but, do you really think you matter that much? Do you think you actually could have done something? You think you really mean that much to him? That he cares about you in that way?”

Doubt sprouts in Yelena’s mind, quicker than she can tamper it, quicker than she even realizes. “I,” she pauses and her eyes shift to the left and the memory that was already so vivid in her mind comes to life in front of her again. She watches as the color drains from her face, shock clouding it as Bucky’s eyes furrow.

Walker exits the elevator, a limp Bob attached to his side, confusion and worry clear on his face.

The Void takes her doubt, and the stagger her body gives out as Bob’s body dips, with his weight sliding down in a way that seems like he’s dead, in stride.

(meanwhile she is being thrust back into that mindset—that mindset that her friend (her bob) was gone)

“See, you’re just like everyone else that pops up in little ole Bobby’s life.” The Void removes his hand from her to shoot her a sinister smile. “First it was mom and dad, and then it was Linda,” Yelena must pull a face because the Void laughs at her. “You didn’t know about Linda, did you? Wonder why he didn’t say anything.”

The Void continues, heady and dark and the memory begins to repeat. “You’re just like the rest of them. Just like your sister, thinking you can be a hero, when you’re probably gonna do exactly what she did.”

Yelena’s breath catches in her throat and he continues pressure on her neck lifting as his eyes roam her face, “The devastation you felt with her, you’ll have no problem leaving him to feel that, huh? I guess Black Widow’s know all about abandoning though, dying on their partners.”

Yelena’s face drops and before she knows it, she’s shifting attempting to drive a foot into his chest with force but it does nothing to push him away and he catches it with ease. “You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” He yanks her leg, pulling her to him, hand leaving her neck to to grip her chin with force, making her look at him, before he’s speaking again. “Do you really think the opposite? You think you two will live together in the end? You think you’ll settle down, do you even care for him that way? I don’t think so,” his eyes narrow. “Because you don’t believe in him, so how could that be your ending?”

“I do believe in him,” she tries, glaring at the entity before her, trying to yank her face from his grip. “Don’t you put words in my mouth or use me to push him further down. I believe in him so much, with my entire soul.”

“Yeah I’m sure. That’s why I came out to play? Weren’t you the one, little Widow, who didn’t want him doing this? Didn’t think he could handle it, right? It’s why you were so you against it.”

“No,” Yelena shakes her head, eyes falling down as she tries to make sense of her thoughts. “It wasn’t, it wasn’t because of that at all.”

“That’s it,” his eyes gleam under the light. “That’s what your issue is. You don’t realize the affect you have on him do you. One word from you and all the doubt in his body leaves, but one word from you, and oh. The emotions he’s been feeling the last month. And you don’t even realize it do you?”

The Void shakes his head, before his eyes attempt to find hers. “Poor little Bobby, always going to be alone. Always gonna be a waste a space; even to the girl he loves.”

Yelena’s eyes shoot up, and she runs them over the expanse in front of her attempting to not respond to his goading. “You will never be waste of space Bob. Not to me, never to me. I could never think of you that way.”

The air in the room thins and the Void’s eyes narrow. “You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” she nods, making no move even when his hand drops from her face. “I could never ever view you as a waste of space. You, you are my entire soul, all the good I feel, everything that makes me happy, it is wrapped in you. It’s always you.”

Yelena gave him a staunch grin, moving her body closer to him, licking her lips. Her hands slide across the expanse of his shoulders, ghosting his neck and coming to rest on the sides of his face. Her white nail polish standing out against the inky black of his body and she speaks, soft and low, in a tone she knows only shows itself when she’s vulnerable, when she’s too tired to keep up the facade, and now it seems, when she was totally and fully in love.

“I,” her fingers slink along his cheeks. “I have never been one to say these words, or say how I feel, and I, have always believed in you because,” she exhales shakily, shooting a soft smile at him. “I love you Bob.”

The silence in the chamber echoes and she can see the pause rising within the yellow pupils in front of her before he’s reaching forward. She doesn’t flinch, even when her hands drop and the Void strokes his fingers over her nose to her cheek. Her gaze stays forward on him and he tilts his head, before his voice comes out low and rough. “You mean that?”

“I do,” she grabs his palm, pressing a kiss to it. “I love you so much, so much that for the last month I was crying in my room, sad that you weren’t with me, sad that I couldn’t offer you any words because I was scared something would happen to you.” She swallows around her fear, the words escaping her like vomit. “Scared that if I let you do this, you would get hurt.” Her hand tightens on his as she was afraid now that he would pull away from her, from her emotions. “Scared that I would lose you if this didn’t turn out the way they needed it too. Scared that you’d leave me behind like Natasha did. Scared that if, that if something happened to you Bob, that I wouldn’t be able to live, because if you weren’t here, and my sister wasn’t here, then I wouldn’t be either. And I would follow you, no matter how I would have had to.”

There’s more silence, the crackling of the air loosening the longer they sit. “I love you, so much dusha.” Her gaze holds his, and before she can offer any other words, the Void’s other arm is wrapping around her waist, pulling her flush against his body with even more bruising strength than even Bob would use. He grips her like she might disappear before he’s melding his mouth to hers, pressing a fervent kiss to her mouth. Her other hand jerks forward, moving to rest in his hair.

He presses against her, crowding her body to the wall behind her and she almost slacks in his hold when his hand grips the meat of her hip tersely.

The pull of her body against the black void was crushing, his chest flush against her own, grip so tight he was sure to leave a bruise. He let go of her hand, his own sliding to her face. Briefly she opened her eyes, and caught yellow pupil’s lidded, gaze heating as the Void’s body stiffened against her.

She pulls away slightly, mouth opening but he covers it with his own again. Yelena gives a soft moan when he adjusts her, bodies singing as they move around each other. Her hand, now free, slides from his stomach up to his chest before she’s pressing against it, touch featherlight.

He pauses, pulling away from her and she inhales a deep breath trying to find her train of thought. “You,” her voice is hoarse as she huffs. “You’re all the same to me. Bob, Sentry, the Void. Each part of you, is just part of the man I love.”

The Void’s eyes stay on her, before he was tilting his head. “Even this side?”

Yelena gazes at him, fingers twitching. “Even this side, because you wouldn’t be Bob without this side.”

The Void’s eyes narrow again, body almost flinching away from her, before he was roughly responding, grip on her hip loosening as he spoke. “He may not be able to control me.”

“No, but I have faith in him to try, and I have faith in you to let him.”

His eyes disappear, just a solid black entity now in front of her. “I’ll try, but I have a feeling,” the tips of the Void’s fingers begin to shift, silhouette returning to the outfit Bob had on when they walked in and the room is bleeding away, the chamber taking root where it once was. “As long as you’re around, I’ll behave.”

Yelena gives a small laugh as the Void melts away and Bob’s eyes shot open looking at her for a moment before his body was going slack in her hold. She folds under his weight, body slumping back against the wall, shifting down as they fall to the floor.

“Good job Bob.” Her fingers came up to grasp his hair as her eyes blink, adjusting to the light around them. “Good job.” She mutters softly before the doors across her open, and she catches sight of Bucky and Ava rushing in, eyelids feeling extremely heavy, body succumbing to exhaustion as she nods off.

––⧗––

The next time Yelena opens her eyes, the first thing she see’s is a white ceiling. She moves her body, trying to sit up, heaving heartily as it takes more energy than she thought it would.

“You’ve been out for two days,” A voice echoes to her right and she flinches, groaning around the guard in her mouth when her body aches at the sudden movement. She turns, catching Ava sitting in the chair next to her, eyeing Kate behind her, sprawled awkwardly on the sofa. “You’re sore you muppet, can you calm down? I mean honestly,” she thumbs through the magazine in her lap. “You sprained your wrist, and I’m pretty sure you bruised your lung so you really need to cool it.”

“Bob,” she tries but the guard in her mouth has his name coming out as a garbled “Gahb” but Ava just rolls her eyes.

“He’s right next door, he’s also been out of it, we think he just drained his energy considering he receded into the Void, and then somehow came out of it by himself. I mean, you helped, but no one went inside that darkness so, we weren’t really sure what was going on with that.” She offers before she’s standing, setting the magazine down before she’s gently slipping the guard from her teeth, bringing a straw to her mouth, urging her to swallow. “Drink.”

Yelena tries to swallow around the liquid, not even realizing how scratchy her throat felt in that moment.

“How…” She tries again but her voice tapers out and Ava gives her a quick smile, assurance bleeding into her features as Yelena’s next words come out scratchy and timid (far timid than she’s sure she’s ever provided before). “How is he?”

The older woman places a palm against her shoulder, urging the younger girl to lay back down. Yelena keeps the surprise vacant from her face when Ava’s hand reaches up to stroke her hair. “I’m not gonna lie to you Yelena,” she gives her a genuine stare. “We…” Ava continues to stroke her fingers through the younger girl’s hair, the comfort of the gesture relaxing the tense in Yelena’s shoulders slightly. Ava frowns, the soft furrow of her brows followed by her next words causing Yelena’s shoulders to bunch up. “We don’t… there’s not really a way to explain what’s going on with him. His body is,” her tongue darts out to lick her lips and then she frowns. “It’s stuck. He’s in, in a limbo we think.”

Yelena's face pinches and Ava continues trying to soothe her before she can panic. “We got him to medical as fast as we could. He’s fine, his vitals are fine, he’s okay, but,” Her eyes dart to the monitor next to her, trying to carefully work around Yelena’s vitals. “They were able to insert one needle into his arm, to get him some blood but, the other things he needed, or needs, the needles won’t puncture his skin and he’s not, he’s not responsive.”

Yelena stares at her with a frown. “The sun?” She offers hoarsely.

Ava bites at her lip. “He’s been getting sunlight daily he’s just,” she gave her a soft stare. “He’s not waking up Yelena. And…” Her face pinches and she seems to be unsure of her next words. “You… we need to be prepared for the possibility that he doesn’t.”

She can feel her stomach bottom out and she doesn’t even realize it until the tears slide down her face that she’s crying.

Ava’s face tightens awkwardly and it only heightens when Yelena’s gasping, trying to breathe, monitors in the room fluctuating.

It’s like a switch has been flipped, the air in the room going humid, the noise in the room growing suffocating.

Suddenly the noise around her is deafening, too loud but too quiet. She tries to blink, but her eyes continue to flutter, the lights everywhere blinding her, smashing her senses almost one by one. The scratch in her throat grows as her breaths continue to shorten, the beeps and monitors set up in her room wailing at her, another high keen echoing in the air.

Through the blur in her eyes she can see Kate jerk awake, can hear a door open and then there’s a jumble. She’s overwhelmed, jerking her arms to cover her eyes and the keen grows louder. Ava’s frantic face enters her blurry view and she can read the message on her lips, urging her to calm down, trying to coax her into relaxation. It’s only then that she register’s the high pitched cry is coming from her. 

The sobs are wracking her body and she can’t breathe, too many people and too many lights filling the room. There’s more movement but everything begins to hurt, every movement overwhelms her, the scents, the noise, everything is pushing her over the edge. The noise from the monitors only grows louder in her ears and she feels something grab at her hands, her eyes fluttering as the lights blur. 

A hand grasps her arm and she’s struggling to yank it away only stopping when cool metal slips into her palm. The familiar feeling of Bucky’s vibranium hand doesn’t calm her, but it grounds her, his repeated strokes on her palm doing very little to appease her anxiety and fear but it does give her something to focus on. 

She feels the sobs continue to wrack her body and she’s still struggling against something, or someone, before she feels a small prick in her arm.

It’s so fast acting, whatever they’ve injected her with, she thinks.

Suddenly the lights overhead blur together, the bustle in the room still there, but she feels her body fall into a sense of calm, eyes growing weak, before the darkness takes over once again.

––⧗––

The next time she wakes up, its nearly pitch black save for a little light in the corner of the room where Bucky is reading a book.

Her eyes roam the ceiling, the shine of the light Bucky has distracting her for just a moment before her focus shifts once more to the ceiling. She can’t formulate a thought, just a very demented notion that enters her mind as she comes too.

“We’re putting you on a suicide watch.” Bucky’s voice is soft, grounding, not a hint of judgement. “Until he wakes up.”

“As long as it’s not with Walker otherwise it will be homicide watch.” She responds curtly and Bucky offers a mirthless chuckle in response.

“Just Ava, Kate and I.” The absence of her father is noted in the recess of her mind, but she can’t seem to care enough to ask why he wasn’t included. “We’ll rotate, but I’ll be with you at night, Ava has the morning, and Kate has the day.”

She hums in understanding looking toward him now, barely making his figure out with the small light. The faint gold hue surrounding the black metal of his arm takes her attention, the glow of the metal soft and familiar. There is more silence before she speaks, voice clouded and trembling. Trembling because she’s just so scared. “How long?”

“You’ve been out for two days. You…” Bucky’s words trail before he’s clearing his throat. “You crashed, we… that first time you woke up you sent yourself into a shock and we had to sedate you, but then, I,” His brows pinch together as he shuts his book. “We don’t know what happened but you crashed, all your vitals, your stats, it’s like, we were losing you all of sudden.”

He sighs, deciding against his better judgment it seems, to continue speaking. “Bob did too. It’s, I don’t know what happened, but you both started dropping off at the exact same time.”

“Is he—” She croaked and Bucky cut her off quickly.

“No. You’re both fine, he’s, we were able to get him hooked up to an IV, and draw some blood but he’s okay. But it was… honestly Yelena? Pretty fucking terrifying, neither one of you have been responsive and then you both nearly flatline out of the blue? You almost had me track down the wizard.”

“…you mean Strange?”

Bucky just grunts. “Yes, the doctors, the medical ones, they, they have a theory, about what’s going on with you two. They think that going into the Void alone connected you and Bob and that we need to keep you together.” He sees her perk up at that, but he shoots a cool stare her way. “I am willing to test this theory but Yelena, not until your cleared.”

She frowns, brows pinching and eyes narrowing. “You cannot—”

“You flatlined this morning and you’re trying to bargain right now?” Bucky presses leaning forward, eyes narrowing. “Look, I just mean…” He stares at her, before he rolls his eyes. “Is this how Steve felt? Constantly trying to bargain with his team over their wellbeing?”

Yelena’s lips purse at the mention of Captain Rogers. “I am so bad you are relating yourself to Steve Rogers?”

Bucky levels her with a stare and she grins, bright and she sees his shoulders dip, knowing that she’s won. “I’ll see if they can move you into his room, but, but Yelena, you need to—”

“—be prepared that he won’t wake up.” She licks her lips, shaking her head at him. “But he will. He promised me he’d be okay. And I believe Bob.”

Bucky’s eyes flutter shut and the faintest pull of his brows indicates that he thinks she’s not understanding.

“Okay.” Is all he offers her.

The next day they are moved into a room together.

Precisely one hundred and twenty two days later, Yelena feels her heart crack open far more than she ever believed it could with each passing second.

(and she knows if this continues for another month—another month of bob not waking up—she won't be lying in a hospital bed—she'll be lying in her grave)