Chapter Text
8:14 a.m.
Training Camp
Training camp is here again. My second one in the NHL. Still with the Ottawa Centaurs. Still loving it. Though I have no idea why I’m at the rink so early. Why do I keep doing this to myself?
What I’m not loving is Shane Hollander starting as Ilya Rozanov’s new co-captain and probably ending up at the center of my line. I just wish he wouldn’t. He probably will.
At least that’s my prediction.
Or better yet, my luck.
What if we have zero chemistry on the ice and he makes me look bad?
Having one NHL superstar on my team was so cool, but having two kind of takes the spotlight away from the rest of the team. Thank God they can’t play on the same line or they’d dominate the hell out of ice time.
Okay, so I spent almost the whole summer in Zurich. Almost three months. I also went to Paris and Milan for a few days, which was nice, but honestly the best part of summer was getting to speak Swiss German every day again. Mum, Dad and Sis were great. Watched way too much Formula 1 too.
Maybe I should have become a Formula 1 driver. Lewis Hamilton is so pretty. And hot too now that he’s getting older.
Anyway, back to my language musings.
I hadn’t even realized how draining it is to process everything in English all the time.
Not because English is difficult. My English is fine. It’s pretty good actually. They say I’m almost fluent. Which is nice to know. I think I should speak more, but I mostly just listen and answer when I’m asked questions or interviewed.
But it was nice not having to think about every sentence for a while.
Although I noticed something weird too. I started thinking in English sometimes. Which was kind of neat. Like I was brushing my teeth in the evening and suddenly realized my thoughts were in English.
How fucking weird is that.
Also sorry about the cursing. I’ll try to keep that under control.
Still. I miss speaking my own language more. Which is why I started this journal.
Actually I talked about that with Ilya a little over a month ago, just before the invitation. It was his idea that I start journaling again. Last time I did this I was fifteen. So basically a hundred years ago. I’m rusty, so sorry about that.
Ilya was also nice enough to let me know I was invited to his July wedding.
Yes.
Wedding.
He got married to Shane Hollander.
Go figure. I definitely did not. I had absolutely no idea they were even together.
I was unfortunately still in Zurich when they tied the knot. But I’ve seen pictures on Facebook and the ceremony looked lovely. Apparently their wedding song was Rihanna’s Diamonds, which I think is corny AF.
Hollander. Both of them kept their names, by the way. He is moving to Ottawa and will start practicing with us today.
Fun. (A little secret: not.)
He’ll probably be our new co-captain or something. There are rumors we got him cheap because of his situation with the Montreal Metros. Not touching that pile of shit right now. It just gets me so angry every time I think about it. What a scandal. The way the team treated the legacy Hollander had created there after his and Ilya’s “thing” got out.
And I probably won’t play with Ilya anymore now that Troy’s leg has healed.
With my luck I’ll end up as Hollander’s right winger.
I’m expecting them to get here later today straight from their honeymoon.
They went to Greenland.
Who goes to Greenland for a honeymoon?
I’d go to Mexico or the Bahamas or something with beaches and drinks in coconuts. Not that I’d ever get married.
Anyway.
Expecting them soon.
Will report back later.
Adding a quick sketch of Ilya here. Drew it on the flight from Zurich yesterday.
[small sketch attached]
After next weekend I’ll finally be moving into my own place. It’s pretty close to our rink, which is nice. It was way too expensive at this point in my career, but the location is great and I really liked the view.
Until then: more hotel rooms.
I am very, very over hotel breakfasts.
I’m having second breakfast with Dykstra and Boom.
Brb.
_____
10:43 p.m.
Back.
Okay.
First observation regarding newlywed couples:
Ilya has a beard, like an honest to God real, thick beard. It looks badass.
Back to the happy couple.
Apparently they stand too close to each other all the time. Not in a gross way. Just in a weird way. Like people who forgot they are standing next to other humans.
There was a team meeting and Ilya sat down and his husband sat down beside him and somehow after like five minutes Hollander was practically sitting in Ilya’s lap. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. But it wasn’t far.
Nobody said anything. Nobody even looked surprised. Troy didn’t even look up from his phone.
I was probably staring.
I also didn’t remember that Shane Hollander is bigger than me. He’s not taller, but he has massive arms and legs. I’m going to ask for workout recommendations from him if we end up at the gym at the same time. Of course he has like ten years of gym experience over me. Anyway, it’ll be better if I have something to say to him and not sound like a complete moron when he walks into the room.
Just when it started getting easier with my fanboying over Ilya Rozanov, this happens. I miss last season already. Nothing was complicated. Just play hockey. Sign some autographs. Hang out with the team.
Long talks with Ilya are probably over now that Hollander has moved in with him. I’ll miss Anya too. Maybe they’ll let me take her for walks sometimes.
As per usual I just got lost in my trail of thought. Back to what happened today.
We still have Dykstra, Boodram, Hayes and Barrett with us. So happy. A sad face next: Niemi got transferred to Montreal as Hollander got signed with us.
As predicted, Hollander got an A. Which means in hockey language he’s basically a co-captain with Rozanov.
No surprise there.
Also we got redesigned gear and jerseys. We are all apparently very thrilled. Troy thinks it’s cool, Boom said the Centaurs logo looks meaner. Personally I think the old one was better. (Fun fact: nobody asked me. One day I’d love to design the Centaurs logo.)
[a sketch of a Centaurs logo attached]
Anyway.
As I implied earlier, I met Hollander.
Properly.
Like shaking hands and introducing ourselves even though obviously we both already knew who the other person was. He shook my hand, squeezing way too hard, and said he was looking forward to playing with me. That he’d only heard good things about me from Ilya. Apparently Ilya talks about me a lot.
Which was apparently enough to immediately kill me.
Because I think I didn’t say anything cool, just mumbled something like, “Oh, yes.”
Or maybe: “Really?”
Or maybe nothing. Can’t bring it back now. I definitely said words after that but I don’t remember what they were. Praying silently I didn’t say anything too embarrassing.
My brain is probably protecting me or something. I hope I won’t develop amnesia because of all this.
Also, if I’m being completely honest, which I promised I will be, I probably also blushed. Which is incredibly annoying. Because I blush over everything.
Embarrassed?
Blush.
Angry?
Blush.
Exist near another human being?
Blush.
So now Hollander probably thinks I’m a child. He probably thinks so anyway. He ruffled my hair and said he could not believe I was twenty-two. That fucker.
I don’t want to spend this year listening to kid jokes from teammates, most of whom are barely two years older than me.
I don’t mind if Ilya teases me. I kinda always liked that.
But when Hollander did it, it felt humiliating. There, I said it. And I really felt like I was thirteen when he looked at me with that million-dollar Rolex endorsement smile.
My manager says my face isn’t marketable yet. Those fucking pimples keep popping up.
Hollander is really good looking, and he’s probably the best player in the league, so I get why he’s landed so many endorsement deals.
Best player and hottest player in the NHL. And way too polite to be real. Nobody is that polite.
Fake fucker.
So it was great. An amazing start. Really building confidence here.
Back when there’s something new to report.
[attached another sketch of Ilya Rozanov with a beard]
P.S. I don’t know yet if Hollander, Shane, because he asked me to call him Shane, will be playing on my line. We’ll find out after training camp. We start practicing on ice tomorrow. Today was just a friendly get-to-know-your-new-teammates day.
P.P.S. I absolutely refuse to call him Shane. He’ll be Hollander to me until either of us switches teams. I cackled a bit when Hayes called him Shania.
LOL