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Love is a very generous word. Hate is too reductive. His tenant would call it “soulmate-ism” when he wanted to soften up his words, or to sweeten his threats and declarations. But that also gave their relationship a lot of leniency.
Ryou has always been alone so having an unwavering companion, even if parasitic, brings him a sense of security he thought he would never feel again. It’s not like his mom’s hugs, it could never be as pure, but it feels like the tainted memory of them. A fake replica made by a desperate wish granted by the devil.
Then again, completely antagonising the Bandit feels wrong to Ryou. There have been nights, when they are all alone in the darkness, in which he allows him to reach the deepest parts of himself. Ryou has familiarised himself with that pain so much that he can call it his own. He knows it is not his burden to bear, but why then did fate put such a pained soul in his tender heart’s way if not to offer it another chance?
Ryou is able to understand where it all came from, and to decide whether or not to grant his tenant forgiveness. He has toyed with the idea every once in a while, but those moments are sporadic. Not yet. Maybe not ever. However, he can hold the pain brought upon by his dark self and lend him a hand at the same time. It is not necessarily a grudge what he holds, but maybe something like the weight of his Spirit’s sins. Bakura will not wash away all the wounds the Bandit caused, but maybe they can try to tend to those wounds together.
Getting to where they are was not an easy process —it still is incredibly hard and painful for both of them. But Ryou feels proud of what they have.
He had to stop seeing Yami Bakura as an all-encompassing source of evil. Which the Spirit himself made quite hard, as he latched onto Zorc’s darkness as an intense coping mechanism, but he knew he could claw his way into his heart. Bakura thought he could see his own reflection in the abyss that separated him from his dark self, but it more so were the vulnerable parts of the Bandit that he concealed the most. Knowing that behind everything was still a little boy that wished someone could help him was enough for him to try.
Because if Bakura chose to not even try for him, why would anyone else try for Bakura?
Violence was the only language the Spirit truly knew, and so Ryou matched that at first. Though he felt guilty, he knew he could have the upper hand if he played his cards correctly, with his cards being himself. His tenant often said that he needed the body, but he soon understood that there was more beyond that. Realising that he cared about him was terrifying, but it allowed Ryou to pin the Spirit down in their shared headspace and put a fist at his trachea and spit at him. He grabbed his tenant by his hair and opened up about himself. Ryou spilled his own blood onto the Bandit’s face and let him be burnt by it, like hot red wax dripping on him.
His Spirit was weak. He could take Ryou being hurt for a greater purpose, because he could always patch him up, but now his landlord held it over his head and God did the guilt hurt. It felt like painful needle stabs on his heart. Only then did he allow him to get closer, because the forced proximity and cooperation was the sole way to break the first wall that separated them.
Communication between them became more frequent. Bakura could tell, of course he could tell, that his darker half craved it in spite of insisting that he did not. Sometimes he could feel him silently looming over him when he talked with his friends, not taking control but also not wanting to look away. Other times he simply shared his own advice whenever Ryou dealt with anything remotely complicated. He also allowed Ryou to linger around whenever he took over, and he became docile enough to switch back once he gave him a stern look about it.
Now, they like to spend time in the headspace. The Bandit gets offended when Bakura suggests they have a friendship, but he really is the one with whom he feels the closest. His other friends are great, but nothing can compare with the intimacy of sharing one body and one mind. He knows the Spirit’s flaws more than anyone else, he knows all of his sins but he also knows all of his regrets. In return, he knows all of Bakura’s fears and feats, the ugly and the ugliest about him. He once took advantage of his violent intrusive thoughts, but now his dark self felt somewhat protective about them.
Maybe Ryou likes to feel protected and cared for, even if it is in a sick way. Maybe that is why he gives the Spirit more grace than he would give himself, or anyone else for that matter. Is their relationship still parasitic even when he has found something to gain as well?
Ryou pities his Bandit as much as he pities himself. He knows he hates to be pitied, but he cannot hide it when he looks at his eyes and sees all the pain he endured and all the pain he caused. Ryou feels bad because the Spirit lacks control, and that may also be why he insists on letting him try to better himself: because at least Ryou is able to choose that for both of them.
Their relationship is complicated. The only person that begins to understand it is Yugi, being the vessel of a Spirit of his own, but Bakura knows that his tenant hates the comparison so he avoids it at all cost.
In a better world, Ryou would call the Bandit his soulmate. He would love to create that world, to heal him all at once and set him free from the darkness that still contains him, but he is not an all-powerful being. He also wants to hurt him. He wants him to understand and repent from all his wrongdoings, and he wants to hug him as one final goodbye to the evil that haunts him. There are so many things Bakura wants for his Bandit that he feels hopeless at times.
The Spirit from the ring, though, believes Ryou Bakura to be the strongest person he has ever met. He sees him as his soulmate, his true other half, and his one ray of hope. He feels afraid of losing him, of hurting him so much he turns his back on him. He wants to fully possess him, and yet he wants Ryou to keep being his beautiful perfect self for him. He is obsessed, terminally dedicated to the concept of Ryou Bakura, and that is why he tries so hard to make it up to him.
They both know they will be forever intertwined, even if the Spirit were to be banished. Ryou will keep a part of him in his soul, and he thinks that having him forever would be better than having the emptiness he would leave forever. Their souls are not only bound to each other, but Bakura’s has been branded by the Spirit’s. An unwilling, selfish bond turned out to be deeper, and it is liberating for both of their souls.
Even if love is a generous word, Ryou cannot find another way to describe what he feels for his tenant. He loves him, he pities him, he knows him. Maybe that is all that they need. They know each other. They love each other. They make the best out of their unfortunate situation and they make the worst out of everything else.
They may have to explore the concept of codependency another day.