Archive of Our Own

Although Simon had a violent reaction when he woke up on the Hail Mary—and he still couldn't believe that the stars in the windows weren't some kind of screen or illusion—the convict knew he owed Ryland Grace. The bumbling scientist had saved him, sharing precious medicine and food. He also hadn't thrown Simon out of the airlock when he had tried to attack the man. Or, turned him into the C.O.I or Eden.

Miraculous as all of that was, it also made Simon incredibly anxious. Why was this man helping him? What did he want from Simon? What could he possibly have that Grace—who had wealth that Simon had never even dreamed of—would want? The scientist must want something from him though: nothing in life was free.

The uncertainty was the worst part. While Simon hated owing people, if he knew what Grace wanted in repayment, he could work towards it. Not knowing put Simon in a limbo where he was stuck making guesses.

It was about a week into his stay at the Hail Mary that it finally clicked for Simon.

Grace had been enthused by Simon walking short distances—the enthusiasm over such a small achievement felt pandering, but the convict knew he didn't have the right to tell the other man to shut the fuck up—and the scientist had declared this a cause to celebrate. The alien, Rocky, had pointedly said that he would not be celebrating the recovery of "The Bad Human". Simon didn't give a fuck, but he didn't protest. What right did he have to stop Grace from doing anything?

So, Grace enthusiastically rushed off to somewhere. He returned, smiling and holding something behind his back. With a ridiculous wave of his hand, the scientist held out the thing behind his back and said, "Ta da!"

Simon wasn't sure what he was looking at. The object was a kind of disk. It was golden brown, and its rim was bumpy. The top of it had some kind of pattern with swirls and symbols.

Noticing Simon's confusion, Grace said, "It's a mooncake! We have to eat the solid food sparingly, but I figured that you deserved something good. I know it's been a rough recovery."

"This is...food?" What kind of food was this fucking pretty? What was the point of that?

"Bad human not deserve good food, statement," Rocky said while pointedly stepping in front of the scientist.

"Stop calling him that," Grace scolded. "I told you: he's not bad, he was scared. And, yes, Simon, this is food. I guess they didn't have stuff like this where you're from."

The convict nodded. He hadn't told Grace much about the life he led before they met. It was partially because he wasn't sure what kind of person Grace was or what was the truth. Grace seemed to believe that the stars were there, but maybe it was some kind of elaborate set up that he was the mastermind of. Maybe, when Simon believed, Grace would turn off the screens and laugh in his face.

Simon also didn't tell Grace about his past because he couldn't afford the scientist deciding that harboring a criminal wasn't worth it.

For all Simon didn't tell Grace though, that didn't stop the other man from theorizing. Often out loud, whether Simon responded or—more often—remained silent. The scientist seemed to have gleaned that the two of them had lived very different lives though.

With a little hum, Grace broke the "mooncake" in half to reveal some kind of goo inside. The scientist then held out one half to Simon, saying, "There you go."

It took a moment for Simon to realize what was happening. Then, his whole body stiffened.

Oh, that's what Grace wanted him for.

This wasn't something Simon had done often, but he knew how these things went. He had snapped a ration bar in half to eat it with a girl before fucking her into the floor. Sex was a classic barter tool for resources. Of course, this was what Grace wanted from him. This was literally the only thing the scientist didn't have!

Damn, Simon was such a fool. How had he not realized this sooner?

While Simon wasn't above selling his body for food, it wasn't exactly his first choice. He swallowed and made a counter offer by saying, "I...can fix things. Do other jobs."

"I mean, sure," Grace responded. "I think you should recover more first, but that sounds like a great idea."

The convict blinked. Sure, he'd been the one to suggest it. Simon hadn't thought that Grace would agree so easily though. What was this guy's deal? Why would he back down so easily when he clearly had the upper hand?

Shifting nervously, Grace said, "Look, I—uh—I know you don't trust me. You've clearly been through a lot. I promise that this really is just food. No poison. That would kind of defeat the purpose of nursing you back to health."

Simon just kept staring at the man, uncomprehendingly.

"Bad human rude. Do not give food."

That shook Simon out of his daze, and he snatched up the half of mooncake.

Grace beamed like the lights that nourished the last tree. As if Simon had done something wonderful instead of taking food that he hadn't earned.

Despite how this might be used against him in the future, Simon bit into the unfamiliar food. His eyes widened, and he froze. This was unlike any food Simon had ever eaten. It was sweet and soft, strange and overwhelming.

Holding the bite in his mouth, Simon ran his tongue over it again and again. He chewed as slowly as he could and was honestly mournful when he had to swallow. There was another bite to look forward to though. He dragged out the mooncake as long as he could, treasuring each exquisite taste. This was more than just eating: this was joy.

Enraptured as he was by the experience, Simon hadn't fully noticed that Grace was staring at him. The scientist's expression was soft and happy. Not triumphant or smug. Not like he had something to hold over Simon's head. Just...happy. As if Simon hadn't eaten half of his amazing food, depriving him of more.

Hell, reluctant though he had been about trading his body, Simon would absolutely suck Grace off for another mooncake.

Instead of trying to ply sex from Simon with mooncakes, Grace said, "There's actually a myth that goes along with these cakes. Do you want to hear it?"

"Sure," Simon said. He didn't particularly care about the story, but Grace seemed to want to tell it. It was the least Simon could do in exchange for the cake.

Also, Grace's voice was decent. Simon found he didn't mind listening to it.

"Yes, yes," Rocky exclaimed, dancing excitedly in his ball. "Story time!"

With enthusiasm, Grace started his story. It was downright heretical—talking about gods other than The God—and Simon didn't understand a lot of the terms the scientist used. Thankfully, Rocky didn't either. The creature kept interrupting Grace, asking him to define things. Simon was glad that he wasn't the only one who didn't know what "Jade" and "archers" were.

Even though the blasphemy of it made Simon uncomfortable, it was a very interesting story. It was about this warrior who stopped the Jade Emperor's sons from scorching the Earth, only to gave his and his wife's immortality stripped away for using lethal means. Then, the warrior went on a journey to restore their immortality, but there was only enough elixir for one person.

Not wanting to become immortal alone, the warrior and his wife learned how to live as regular people. This only lasted until the warrior's apprentice overheard them talking about the elixir of immortality. The apprentice schemed to kill the warrior's wife and steal the elixir. Rather than let the elixir fall into the apprentice's hands, the woman drank the potion herself.

Since she was a god once more, she couldn't remain on Earth, but she chose to live on the moon to be closer to her husband.

"Hou Yi would leave offerings of Chang'e's favorite flowers and cakes every year though. And, even after Hou Yi died, Chang'e remained the moon goddess. The mooncakes are a part of a festival where this story is retold. Also, Chang'e has a lot of probes and stuff named after her, which is pretty cool."

There was a pause as the end of the story hung in the air. Then, Rocky wailed, "SAD SAD SAD! Why Grace tell Rocky sad sad sad story?!? Grace HATE Rocky!"

"You know that's not true, bud," Grace said placatingly. "It's just how the story goes."

"No, Grace hate Rocky," the alien insisted. "Grace and Rocky no longer friends."

"I guess that means you don't want me to tell you another story."

"...Grace tell happy story, question?"

"Yeah, this one will have a happy ending. Do you want another love story?"

"Yes Yes!" The alien trilled with excitement. "Happy love story!"

Grace chuckled before sending Simon an apologetic look. "Sorry, we're probably keeping you up. We can move to a different room if you want to rest."

"No," Simon said, surprising himself with how fast he replied. "This is...nice."

The scientist blinked, and then he was grinning ear to ear. "Awesome! Now, which love story..." Grace trailed off, dragging his fingers over his stubble as he thought. Then, he clapped his hands together, saying, "Got one! This is my favorite love story! It's also one you won't find in any library."

"Amaze amaze amaze!"

"This is the story of how my parents got together."

Trilling came from Rocky, who was dancing again. "Excite! Best story! Story of how Grace made!"

"Don't get too excited," Grace said. "While it's my favorite love story, it's also pretty ordinary."

Rocky chimed how he loved it because he would learn more about Grace, which Simon silently agreed with. The convict was having a hard time figuring the guy out. He knew that the man was likely delusional, a liar, or extremely sheltered. Grace claimed that Earth and the stars still existed. Although Simon couldn't believe that, he knew that the man definitely didn't grow up in Eden. Knowing something about how people acted where Grace was from could help Simon decipher the man.

"Okay, so, my parents met in college. They were in the same major—biology: my mom wanted to be a doctor while my dad wanted to be a good ol' fashioned researcher. Anyway, they often had the same classes."

The scientist waved his hands around as he told the story. Simon was pretty sure he knew what was going on so far. This "college" was some kind of place for learning. Grace's parents were very intelligent people who must have contributed greatly to whatever station they lived on. No wonder Grace was so unthinkingly kind: he probably never had to fight for resources as a kid. His parents would be powerful people, and their kid had inherited a coveted position as a scientist from his father.

"My dad was immediately smitten with my mother," Grace continued.

"Define word," Rocky demanded.

"Smitten? It means you like someone a lot and think they're amazing; specifically, in a romantic way."

"Understand. Rocky feel this way for Adrian."

Grace smiled fondly at the Rock before continuing, "So, my dad was smitten, but my mom was very focused on studying. She wasn't thinking about romance at all. My dad kept trying to talk to her, ask her to study together. Mom was not having it. She didn't want to date someone only for them to expect her to give up her dreams when they married."

"Why would her mate want that, question?"

"Well, there's this thing called 'misogyny', which basically means to have hatred or prejudice against women. A lot of men expected their mates to not work and take care of the kids when my parents met. Some men still think that."

"Stupid stupid stupid," Rocky said. "Grace dad not want Grace mom to work?"

"Nah, my dad admired the heck out of my mom. He thought she was the smartest, most hardworking person in the world. He supported her while she went to med school."

"Good good. Grace dad not stupid."

"Yeah, my dad was pretty smart too," Grace said happily. "Because he noticed how much effort my mom put into her studies, he thought complimenting her on that would make her like him more. Unfortunately, my mom dealt with too many jerks and thought he was mocking her. Their professor posted the ranking of the exam scores outside the classroom. My mom was almost always number one, and my dad was somewhere in the top ten. The first time he complimented her score was after he managed to score higher than her." Laughing at his own story, Grace said, "My mom imagined this competition in her head. It at least made her talk to him more, but that made my dad think what he was doing was working. My dad kept complimenting her scores and her presentations while she silently vowed to never let him defeat her."

Rocky was laughing too now. At least, that's what Simon thought it was. The convict personally thought that the mom's response was reasonable. The better you learn, the more likely you are to get an important position. She was fighting for power and a future position to guarantee her place in society.

After stifling his laughter, Grace said, "This continued until there was a semester where they didn't share any classes. My mom worked hard like she always did, but—after the results for the first test came back—she realized there was no one there to congratulate her. She also realized that she missed my dad's company. When she passed him in the hall one day, my mom stopped him in his tracks to tell him what she got on her last test. My dad told her she was amazing, and that was when my mom realized that he meant it. Because my mom wastes no time once she wants something, she asked my dad on a date right then and there. My dad was so surprised that he dropped a heavy textbook on his foot. The rest is history."

Shaking his little claw hands, Rocky squealed, "Amaze amaze amaze! Grace parents have happy happy love story! I like!"

"I like it too," Grace said, patting the ball the alien was in. "My parents are one of the reasons I believe in love." Yawning, the man added, "I think it's bed time for me. You must be wiped, Simon. Sorry if we kept you up too late."

It was weird having his benefactor apologize to him—Simon was getting used to it because Grace apologized a lot—but he said, "It's fine. I'm not tired."

"Do you want me to pull up a book or something for you?"

Simon shook his head "no", also uncomfortable with how attentive Grace was.

The scientist didn't seem to mind having his offers rebuffed and gave another smile, "Alright, feel free to shout for me if you need anything. Goodnight."

With that, Grace left the room. Rocky rolled after him, pointedly not wishing Simon goodnight. At least someone around here knew how to keep their guard up.

Alone at last, Simon could organize his thoughts.

Love wasn't something Simon had ever put much stock in. He loved his mother and his brothers, but a feeling didn't feed people. Like most things, people would sacrifice those they loved when things went to shit. Simon had seen it time and time again.

He'd also seen fools get taken advantage of for the sake of "love". There were people on Eden who would latch onto some poor soul and ply food from them with promises of love. They were like leeches, often sucking their victims dry before casting them aside. Simon understood why those people did what they did, but it still disgusted him. How they took advantage of the people who couldn't handle their own loneliness.

Yet, he had become like one of those leeches.

Grace's kind face overlapped with those fools who had starved themselves for love. Who had given rations to someone who wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.

Had Grace ever been exposed to people who sold their bodies for food? Or, those who sucked people dry using love as an excuse? Probably not since the poor bastard still believed in such fairytales. It seemed like the man's parents had sheltered him too much. They'd used their powerful positions to give Grace everything he may need except the experience to realize the reality of this cruel universe.

Now, Grace was alone with all of his resources and no defense against his loneliness.

It all made sense. The thing Grace wanted in exchange for everything was for Simon to love him.

****

Knowing what Grace wanted from him solved one of Simon's problems and created about a dozen new ones.

For one thing, he didn't know if he could give this to Grace. Simon didn't even really believe in romantic love. What he'd seen on Eden just seemed like sex but with less self-preservation. And, Simon wasn't selling his body unless he had to.

Additionally, Simon didn't know how long it would take for Grace to lose patience with him. The scientist was nice now, but that attitude wasn't likely to continue if Simon didn't give him what he wanted.

That left Simon to figure out how to be useful to Grace without this "love" nonsense. Either that or bide his time until he was strong enough to fight for a portion of these resources. If none of that worked out, Simon hoped he could persuade Grace to use his mouth over his ass. Butt stuff could hurt like a motherfucker.

Grace didn't seem to expect much from Simon while he was recovering. Just that he eat, sleep, and walk a little. Simon had never been so idle in his life. It honestly made him feel incredibly selfish, not to mention restless.

The scientist seemed to notice and gave him a manual with the ship's blueprints/maintenance requirements. Studying the book made Simon feel much better about all of the resources he was eating up. He wasn't going to be useless forever: he was going to know this ship like the back of his hand and become essential.

There was nothing in the blueprints about how the stars were projected on the "windows", so Simon wondered if Grace really didn't know that they were fake. Had Grace's parents set it up that way? Simon would have to look for the mechanism himself.

Once Simon was strong enough, Grace suggested that they do a tour of the ship. Rocky made sure to announce that the scientist had cleaned his dirty dirty dirty ship specifically for this.

Maybe, that was something else Simon could do. He didn't mind cleaning.

The memories of when Grace and Rocky brought him on board were fuzzy. Simon really only knew the med bay, along with what he'd read in the manual. Seeing it in person was another thing though. The place was huge.

Granted, it wasn't as big as a station, but it was humongous considering that only two people lived there. The extra beds in the dorms suggested more people. Yet, there didn't seem to be anyone else there.

They visited the dorms, the lab, the cockpit. Grace even showed him where the food was kept—the storage didn't even have locks, how was this guy still alive?

Then, Grace showed him something that took Simon completely by surprise. The scientist did it so casually that Simon wasn't prepared at all.

"In here, we have our plants, which are somehow still alive. Not very exciting, but I love them. They remind me of home. And, they give me oxygen; I really enjoy not suffocating."

Simon wasn't really taking in what Grace was saying. He was too enraptured by all of the life in the room. The beautiful, glorious green. The fresh smell in the air.

Suddenly, there was a hand on Simon's shoulder, and he violently jerked out of its hold.

Grace raised his hands up in surrender, eyes wide as he said, "Sorry, sorry. Not big on touch. Got it. But, are you okay?"

"I—" Simon didn't know. The weight of his bracelet, where the seed pendant pressed into his skin, was so present in that moment. What could he say to Grace who didn't seem to realize what a miracle all of this was? He ended up speaking his thoughts anyway though. "I didn't think I'd ever get to see any plants again."

Something in Grace's expression softened. "I get it."

Did he? Simon doubted it.

"Let's get a closer look. I think it's about time to water some of them. Would you like to help?"

Simon immediately nodded. Of course, he wanted to be closer to the plants.

Talking once more—the man was a constant well of noise—Grace explained how to check on the plants' status, where to get information on caring for them. This time, Simon gave his full attention. He would not mess this up. He would not kill any of these sacred plants.

When Grace had his back turned, Simon ran his finger over one of the leaves. Its delicate softness was something the convict had long forgotten.

"Bad human leak," Rocky said out of nowhere. Like a little snitch.

Simon hadn't even realized he was crying. Grace whirled around though, eyes darting between the man's face and the plant he was touching.

Quickly, Simon drew his hand back. "Sorry. I—I swear I wasn't trying to defile it. I just—" There was no excuse he could make. He had been given permission to water the plants, not to touch them. Grace would have every right to throw him out for doing such a thing in a sacred space.

There was no yelling though. The expression on Grace's face was one of confusion.

Slowly, he approached Simon.

The convict braced himself for a blow.

The hand Grace raised didn't hit though. It reached out to the same plant Simon had touched and stroked another leaf.

"It's okay," the scientist reassured. "You can touch them. It's not going to hurt them."

But, he could. His hand was one that knew violence. There was so much blood that he had spilled.

Surely, this was some kind of trick. Grace was testing him.

...This wasn't the kind of offer Simon could refuse though.

Hesitantly, Simon reached out his hand again to trace the vein of a delicate leaf. Tears spilled from his eyes again, and he took in a shaky breath. He couldn't say how long he stood there, just touching that one leaf.

Grace didn't pull him away or reprimand him though. The scientist was uncharacteristically silent for a while. Then, he said, "I'm going to get my laptop and something for us to sit on. We can see the rest of the ship tomorrow. Be right back."

Simon nodded again before saying a quiet, "Thank you."

Stopping midstep, Grace blinked, stared at Simon for a moment, and then he smiled widely. "Of course," the man said. As if this was something obvious to do. To trust Simon with sacred plants.

Fuck, this guy was such a sucker. What kind of idiot let a stranger near something so precious?

****

They spent hours in the plant room. Simon just absorbed the experience—sitting beside the scientist on the mattress Grace had dragged in—content to simply look at these bits of life.

Grace fiddled on his "laptop", glancing at Simon every once in a while. The convict wondered if the guy thought he was being subtle.

It would be natural for Grace to be wary of him; that being said, it was a bit uncharacteristic of the scientist. And, when Simon met one of his glances, Grace didn't look wary. He looked bashful, blushing and averting his eyes once he was clearly caught.

Simon decided not to think about it too hard. He kept watching the plants: he didn't know when he would get another chance like this. Visitations outside of those permitted to care for plants were typically rare. An honor.

The scientist might be doing this to try to win Simon's love. Showing him more special attention. Simon didn't know if he would call this devious or foolish. For anyone else, he would say this was something to be held over his head later. It might prove to be later.

If Grace was who he presented himself as though, it was another foolishly generous gesture.

Eventually, the rock rolled into the space—he'd declared this activity boring after a few minutes and left to do God knows what—and declared, "Time for Grace sleep."

"Give me a few minutes to—"

"No, Grace sleep now." The scientist opened his mouth to complain, only to be cut off. "Now now now now now now—"

"Fine!" Grace said, throwing up his hands. Fucking Christ, this guy was a pushover. "Come on, Simon. I thought that you could try sleeping in the dorms if you want. You can stay in medbay, but you've been stable for a while."

And, he would be taking up a bed that could be used for Grace if the scientist got injured. Simon didn't necessarily feel comfortable sleeping near Grace and Rocky—if the thing even slept—but he understood that it was the right choice. "I'll sleep in the dorms."

That got the blond man smiling happily, confirming that that was the right answer. "Cool, you can choose your bed. I'll go get the bedding you've been using in medbay, but we can get more if you need it."

Simon nodded. He tried not to tense as he realized that—now that he was deemed healthy enough—Grace might start making sexual advances. What better excuse than inviting Simon into his bed? Would Grace be okay with a direct rejection?

Fuck.

The scientist seemed oblivious to Simon's thoughts, going off to the medbay while the convict followed Rocky. The alien rolled into the room and straight up to the glass structure that Grace explained was for Rocky to keep watch. An understandable system now that Simon was here. Again, Rocky proved to be the one with common sense.

There weren't many beds. One was in the glass structure, and another had a nest of blankets that included an absurdly colorful one. Simon knew it must be Grace's bed. He walked up to it. Would it be better to show initiative and climb in? Could he avoid an offer to share if he was already in a separate bed?

Rocky disturbed his thoughts by saying, "That Grace's bed. Bad Human sleep in empty bed." The creature pointed for emphasis at the remaining bed.

Thank fuck for Rocky. The decision was made for him, and he could blame it on the alien.

Then, Grace made his way into the room with an armful of blankets and pillows. He tripped on the way in. Probably because he was holding his burden in front of his face.

Unbidden, a small smile momentarily appeared on Simon's face.

****

Although he didn't sleep too well—Simon understood why Rocky was keeping an eye on him, but that didn't make him comfortable with it—the convict was cautiously optimistic the next morning. Grace had promised that they would talk about Simon's potential duties aboard the ship after introducing him to the final room.

The promise of work, of actually paying back some of this endless debt he had to Grace, was something Simon was eager for. He just hoped being Grace's plaything wasn't brought up. Or, his spouse. However Grace wanted to phrase it.

Speaking of the scientist, Grace seemed more eager for this final room than for Simon to finally pull some weight. It was a kind of walkway inside of a roundish room. Simon tried to puzzle out what it was for while Grace excitedly typed on his laptop.

"You like plants, right? How do you feel about trees?"

Simon reached to wrap his hand around his bracelet before realizing that his other hand hadn't miraculously grown back. The blond looked at Simon expectantly until the convict gave a little nod.

Grinning, Grace said, "You're going to love this."

All at once, the walls erupted with light and color. Greens and browns and hints of others. There was also sound: unfamiliar sounds that were kind of like Rocky and others that Simon realized were leaves brushing together.

It was like being transported into heaven. What else was heaven other than a forest?

"This," Grace gestured around them, "is a recording of the Redwoods. Some of the largest and tallest trees in the world! I'm not sure if you knew, but Redwood is a colloquial term. These are a species of Sequoia that—"

The scientist kept rambling as Simon stood stock still. Transfixed by a sight that was even more incredible than his wildest dreams.

"Do you want to see the Rainforest next?"

Simon was shaken out of his trance and asked, "There's more?"

"There's so much more!"

"Earth big big big," Rocky chimed in.

Right, Grace still thought Earth was there. These images—recordings—must have convinced him of that. For all Simon knew, these were long-lost records of Earth. They could also be entirely fake. A made-up haven for the sheltered son of a doctor and a scientist.

This technology in and of itself could prove Simon's suspicion that the stars in the "windows" were a projection. It couldn't be that hard to wire up something similar at those ports. Simon could figure out how this room worked and then look for similar technology in the walls.

At this moment though, Simon simply said, "Show me the Rainforest."

Like magic, the scene around them changed as Grace excitedly rambled about this fantastical place from a dead planet. Simon could barely take in one incredible scene before Grace switched it to another. Forest after and gardens. All beautiful and different.

When Rocky asked if they could look at something other than plants, the scientist scolded the alien, saying that this was for Simon.

That statement really struck Simon. This was for him. Grace was showing off these wonders specifically for him.

Why are you trying so hard? Simon couldn't help but wonder. Even for someone who was lonely and craving a fairytale like love, this was a lot. Why do you want me to like you so badly?

****

They left the room once it was time for a meal. That and Rocky was calling Grace lazy. The human responded that he was just bitter that he wasn't allowed to commandeer the screen.

Their lighthearted bickering continued until Grace and Simon sat down for their meal. Rocky excused himself, scuttling off towards the dorms.

"He thinks human eating is gross," Grace whispered conspiratorially.

"Rocky right, exclamation!"

"It's a matter of opinion!" Grace shouted back. Then, he turned back to Simon. "Sorry about all of our chatter."

Simon shrugged. He didn't mind it. It was better than suffocating silence.

Grabbing two pouches of food, Grace continued, "We're both really talkative, and I know that can be annoying. You can tell me to shut up if it gets too much. Rocky would take that as a challenge though."

The convict nodded as he took the pouch of food from Grace. It was best to agree even if Simon would never tell the guy with all of the food to shut up.

Grace tapped his fingers on the table before saying, "So, I know you've been itching to do something since about the moment you were conscious. You said you're good at fixing stuff. I've done some quick fixes, but I'm no mechanic. Do you want to check out the things I've done first?"

That had Simon straightening up. "I can do that."

"I also thought we could switch off who takes care of the plants too. I take one day, you take the next kind of thing."

"You'd...let me?"

Smiling his stupidly kind smile, the man said, "You seem to like plants, and it helps keep your mood up if your work is genuinely interesting to you."

It was such a foreign kind of logic. Who cared if what you did was enjoyable? Life wasn't about enjoying yourself.

Yet, this made an odd kind of sense for Grace.

"You don't have to if I've misread things," the man backtracked.

"No, I'd like that," Simon said. "It's an honor."

The next smile Grace wore was a little confused, but he said, "Don't mention it." The scientist wrinkled his nose at the pouch of food in front of him. "Don't tell Rocky, but I kind of think eating is gross when it's like this. If I never have to eat another Tauomeba-coma-slurry shake, it'll be too soon."

Simon raised an eyebrow but kept his thoughts about Grace being spoiled to himself.

****

They fell into a routine. Working on their respective tasks—Grace's research, Rocky's engineering projects, and Simon's repairs—in the morning. Recreation in the afternoons, which was a new concept to Simon. Having scheduled time for doing whatever you wanted. It felt downright wasteful, but Simon went along with it.

Rocky and Grace would often go into the "don't go crazy" room, as Simon learned it was called. He sometimes joined them in watching videos of Earth landscapes or strange stories ("movies", Grace called them). Othertimes, he would read on a laptop that Grace set up for him with books about plants. Often in the plant room. Grace would sometimes join him there, talking or reading on his own laptop.

Then, they would have a meal and go to bed.

They mostly ate the slurry stuff, which Simon didn't mind. Grace would bring out the "real food" again after a while, and Simon got to try something called "macaroni". It was absolutely amazing in a different way from the mooncakes. Warm and savory and salty. People would've killed over this stuff on Eden.

Simon honestly did not understand why Grace shared it with him. Why the scientist seemed so desperate for Simon to love him.

All Simon had done was...exist. Even with all of the effort he put into repairs and the plants, Grace had been doing just fine without him.

Despite how desperate Grace acted, he didn't push any of the advantages he had. He never tried to withhold food or shower privileges. Grace noticed that Simon flinched when he was touched, startled by the casual contact and sure it would lead to more; instead, Grace stopped touching him almost entirely.

There was never any suggestion for them to share a bed. Never any complaints about being horny. Never any comments on Simon's body (outside of medical ones).

It was all so, so confusing! The longer it went on, the more comfortable Simon started to be with Grace. He would catch himself though and force himself to be vigilant.

Don't let your guard down. Don't give any openings. Don't let them hurt you.

To try to keep himself from falling into complacency, Simon would investigate the "windows" when Grace and Rocky were occupied. The convict had studied the screens in the "don't go crazy" room, and he had a decent idea of how they were set up. He was pretty sure that he would recognize similar wiring if he saw it.

This investigation went...nowhere.

No matter which side of the wall he went at it from, he couldn't find the source.

But, it had to be there! He knew that there was something creating the illusion!

The endless search nagged at Simon, increasing the tension in him. Stretching him so tight that he was sure to snap any day now.

Everything came to a head one day when Grace walked in on Simon—who had admittedly gotten to obsessively fixed on finding something—with his head inside the wall.

"Uh, what ya doing there, pal?"

Absolutely done with all of this shit, Simon growled, "I can't fucking find it!"

"Find what?"

"The source! The thing putting up the stars!" Simon yelled.

Grace blinked, "Putting up the stars?"

Gesturing to the "window", Simon said, "On this fucking screen."

"Um," Grace looked puzzled, concerned. "That's not a screen. That's a—"

"I KNOW, IT'S A 'WINDOW'!!! THE STARS MAGICALLY CAME BACK, AND YOU GET TO SIT HERE IN YOUR MAGIC, FUCKING PARADISE WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD!!!"

Any normal fucking person would respond to being yelled at by yelling the fuck back. Grace, though, put his fucking hands together and said, "So, that's a lot to unpack. A lot of big feelings there."

Simon threw a wrench at Grace right as Rocky rolled around the corner. The alien gasped musically and then started screeching, running at the convict.

"ROCKY, NO!" Grace stepped in-between them, forcing Rocky to stop. "He's confused! He's not thinking straight!"

"I'm not fucking confused. I don't know if you're lying or just fucking stupid, but the stars are gone! Everything's fucking GONE!!!" His voice cracked on the last word, the ever-present grief for a universe he never got to know hanging in his tone.

Both Rocky and Grace were quiet for a moment before the alien said, "Stars still there. Grace Rocky save stars."

Shaking his head, Simon said, "No, no, that's impossible. I—"

Grace tilted his head, staring at Simon. He glanced to the "window", then back at the convict. Then, he said, "It looks like you haven't found anything in the walls. No kind of projection device." The silence was enough of an answer, so Grace nodded and continued. "Would you be willing to let us prove to you that the stars are really out there?"

You can't though. That's impossible. That shouldn't be fucking possible. And yet, after Simon glanced at the image of glittering stars, he asked, "What do you have in mind?"

****

The plan was for Simon to take a brief space walk. That in and of itself wasn't an intimidating prospect. Simon just wasn't sure he trusted that the visor of the helmet wouldn't act as a screen.

Instead of getting angry or exasperated with this objection, Grace found the smallest space suit ("neither of us are going to fit in this anyway") and dissected it with Simon. They looked at every piece, taking the time to look up what the components did. Simon felt around in the space suit he would use to make sure there was nothing off about it.

Reasonably convinced that this wasn't a tactic to trick him, Simon agreed to the walk.

They got Simon into the suit before stopping the ship ("believe me, you don't want to have to put this on in zero gravity"). It was a bit big on him, but better too big than too small. Grace went over the procedure about a million times with Simon, to the point where he was sure he could repeat it in his sleep. The scientist was anxious because Simon was wearing his suit, and that meant that he couldn't go out there if something went wrong.

Having his head explode in space wasn't the worst death Simon could picture. It would be pretty quick if it happened.

Despite any worries, Grace let Simon enter the airlock by himself. Watching through the glass as the convict made sure his line was secure before activating the depressurization.

Simon hesitated at the door. He swallowed his hopes and told himself that there was nothing out there. Only a few ghostlights. The stars were dead, and this would prove it. This wouldn't change anything for him.

There was no reason to feel disappointed.

Hissing, the thick door opened.

Grace's ship had wonders in it that had left Simon speechless, but that was nothing compared to what was outside.

Unsure if he was dreaming or if there was some kind of screen out there, Simon kicked off towards the unbelievable sight. He floated out, far enough out that he could see the shape of the ship.

That's when he realized that it was real.

Above him, below him, all around was an endless expanse of bright stars. Uncountable. Infinite. Wondrous.

Simon could see a cloud of blue and brown and purple in the distance, and he wondered what it was. Was it another kind of star? There was a cluster of them in it.

The convict floated, completely enraptured by the universe before him, until a voice said in his ear, "Hey, Simon, are you okay? You've been out there for a while."

"I—" he responded in a broken voice, only then realizing that he'd been crying. "It's real. They're here. They're really here."

"Yeah," the gentle conformation came. "They're there, buddy."

****

It took about an hour for Simon to get back in the ship. Both because it was a trial to reel himself in with one arm and because Simon really didn't want to stop looking at the stars.

He couldn't stay in the spacesuit forever though. And, Grace would probably want an explanation.

Besides, Simon would be able to look out the windows.

Once he was inside, he was sweaty from the suit and from exertion. Grace's hair was wild the way it was when he'd been running his hand through it.

Rocky looked the same and asked, "Simon believe now, question?"

"Yes," he responded softly. "I don't know how this is possible, but I believe."

There was a little frown on Grace's face. He opened his mouth. Closed it again.

"Just ask," Simon said. "I don't know why you never ask me anything."

Rubbing the back of his neck, the scientist said, "I know you don't really trust me. I didn't want to back you into a corner when you were already getting used to all of this."

"You're too fucking nice," Simon said, but he was smiling. "Ask."

"Rocky be not nice. Why did Simon think stars gone, question?"

Grace insisted that they relocate to the dorms with some food first—"real" food because it had "been a day"—but Simon told them everything. He told them about the Quiet Rapture, about Eden, about the constant fight for resources. He told them about the blood oceans and how he was put on the SM-13 in search of some hope for humanity.

As he finished, Simon said, "I didn't find anything down there. Nothing but a giant fucking eel that tried to toy with my mind. You guys though," Simon started to tear up again. He wasn't typically a crier; nevertheless, this was something worth crying for. "You saved them. I don't know how you did it, but the stars are really back."

Rocky and Grace looked at each other for a moment before the scientist said, "Simon, I—what you've been through—I don't know what to say. But, for me and Rocky, the stars never left. They were dimming, sure. They didn't disappear though."

"But, no, that—that can't—" Simon tried to wrap his head around that. "Are you telling me it was all a lie? That we, what? That we fought and killed and died for nothing?"

He was raising his voice, and Rocky's posture had become wary. Grace held up his hands though, saying, "I don't know. Maybe, but I have another theory if you want to hear it."

Simon gave a tense nod, which was all of the permission Grace needed to launch into a long-winded lecture about alternate universes. He spoke about wormholes and string theory, and that was when Simon realized that Grace was actually pretty fucking smart. The convict had always taken Grace for a fool; nonetheless, the scientist clearly had immense knowledge. Not to mention, he had saved his universe's stars.

"To sum it up, you probably came from a place where all of that happened, but now you're somewhere else. Well, I might be wrong. We'll just call it our working theory."

Overall, Simon liked that explanation better than his whole life being a lie. "Thanks."

"It's nothing," Grace said despite his bashful smile.

The alien had been mostly silent throughout these explanations, only interrupting to ask them to define words. He turned to Grace though and said, "We put in name for other human in translator."

"Awww, I knew you'd warm up to him!" Grace said as he grabbed the laptop.

"You come from bad bad bad place." Rocky said, talking to Simon this time. "You scared. Scared of new pain. Rocky did not understand. Understand now. Apology apology apology."

"It's alright," Simon said with a shrug. "You thought I was going to hurt you guys. It makes sense to be cautious."

"Thank," the alien bumped his ball lightly into Simon's shin. "You will be 🎶🎵🎶! Is one who live through many hard things."

"Like a survivor," Grace remarked, typing something into the laptop.

Feeling himself tear up yet again, Simon muttered a word of thanks.

That night, after finally eating his portion of dolmas, Simon was a little surprised to see Rocky settle in his glass tunnel to watch them.

The convict didn't usually discuss what Grace and Rocky did; however, he felt more certain in his place now. He said, "I promise I won't hurt him. If you still don't trust me though, I can sleep somewhere else."

"Know Simon will not hurt Grace. Trust Simon. No sleep somewhere else. Rocky must watch.

"Oh, Rock, this is my fault," Grace said from his bed. "I never explained it to him." The scientist shuffled around in his bed, squinting at Simon because he'd already taken his glasses off. "So, Eridians have a different culture around sleeping. When they sleep, it's like they're paralyzed. They can't move at all. They need someone to watch over them to keep them safe. Rocky knows it's not the same for humans, but it's a community thing. To not watch us while we sleep is the same as wishing us dead, I think."

"Worse," Rocky corrected.

Simon swallowed. He nodded because he was pretty sure he'd cry again if he spoke.

Settling in bed, Simon realized that Rocky had been watching over him long before the alien trusted him. Rocky had actively hated him yet still tried to keep him safe.

****

Things changed going forward. Simon changed: he became more open to Grace and Rocky. He asked more questions. He listened to what they were saying instead of tuning most of it out.

Over a couple of nights, Grace and Rocky told Simon the story about finding the solution to astrophage. This story included models, dramatic voices, and the pair talking over one another as they argued about details.

What Simon got from the explanation was basically that these two were incredibly smart, brave, and batshit insane. No wonder they got along so well. Saving each other's lives a few times also explained their closeness. It was incredible to Simon that Grace—this clumsy, bashful man—had burned himself to save Rocky.

The scientist had also given up the possibility of returning to Earth. Home to all of the amazing forests and beaches and cities that Grace had shown Simon.

Day by day, Simon felt his esteem for Grace growing. The man was ridiculous but amazing. In addition to being a scientist, he had also been a teacher. He was good at it too. Grace taught Simon so many things. About Earth, about his work, etc.

Simon also found himself getting close to Rocky. The alien was much warmer to him and had taken to "helping" (telling Simon how to do his job) every now and then. These instances were how Simon ended up adding swear words to the translator device. Rocky had walked him through the process of adding new words, and they spent a few hours defining the words Simon had said to the overbearing alien.

The look on Grace's face the first time Rocky called him a bitch was priceless. Simon and Rocky were now betting on who could get Grace to swear first.

It was when Simon joined the "movie night" that he remembered how Grace might want the convict to love him. Wesley and Buttercup kissed, and Simon tensed up.

Rocky chirped, "Disgust disgust disgust" as the sick boy had a similar reaction.

"You're such a baby," Grace laughed.

Looking at Grace snickering, poking at Rocky's xenonite ball, Simon wondered if the scientist actually wanted a romance with him. The guy wasn't from Eden. He didn't grow up fighting for resources the way Simon had; furthermore, he was so damn kind. He had given up his home to save his alien friend.

All that Grace had done for Simon—saving him, feeding him, teaching him—that might mean anything special to Grace.

This should've been a relief, yet Simon felt a profound sense of disappointment.

He tried to shake it off and focus on the movie. It worked for a bit, but the characters kept talking about love.

As Buttercup made her fools deal with Humperdink—idiot, that was not a man who kept his side of bargains—Simon said, "Fuck, love isn't worth all of this shit."

Both Grace and Rocky looked at him with surprise.

"Just—" Their surprise made Simon feel like he had to explain themselves. "What's the point if you end up dead? What's so bad about being a queen?"

Grace paused the movie and said, "Well, I guess it's a difference in values. Some people think that life's pointless without love."

"That's stupid."

"Yeah," Grace agreed, which Simon didn't expect. "Romantic love isn't all there is to life. I do think that people need love in a general sense. Like, for family and friends and living life. I wouldn't kill myself over a lost lover though." The man shrugged. "Movies are just the most dramatic version of things."

"Love for mate is good good good," Rocky argued. "Sacrifice for mate is natural."

"To an extent, but that's not all that love is. I know that, if I was in love, I wouldn't want my partner to get killed for my sake." Simon found himself watching Grace intensely as the man added, "I think the most important thing in love is that you're better together than apart. Like, you make each other happier, and you help each other grow and stuff."

"Is very important," Rocky agreed. "Rocky no regret saving Adrian though. Would die for my mate."

"I guess you and Adrian have a love like Buttercup and Wesley."

"No. Is better! Best best best love!

Grace laughed, and Simon smiled at the proud stance the alien had taken.

The movie was good. It was strange and fantastical, but it was good. Simon probably would've appreciated it more if he hadn't spent the rest of it sneaking glances at Grace.

****

Was what Simon felt towards Grace love?

Fuck if he knew.

What he did know was that he wanted Grace to touch him.

The scientist had given up trying to touch Simon before he had opened up, and Grace hadn't pushed for touch after. Simon was obscenely jealous of the pats and hugs that Grace gave Rocky's xenonite ball.

Simon just...didn't know how to ask for touch. Not without being incredibly direct. Grace encouraged Simon to ask for things, but this was embarrassing. This felt like it meant something. Yet, Simon wasn't sure what "something" was.

In the end, they were sitting beside one another in the plant room one day and Simon took a chance. He scooted closer to Grace until their shoulders bumped.

Reacting like he'd been zapped with electricity, Grace jolted and looked at Simon with wide eyes.

"Why Grace heart so fast, question?" Rocky asked, reminding them that he was also there.

"I was just surprised," Grace explained, face flushing. "I, uh, Simon doesn't usually like touch." This was said as a statement, but Grace's expression had a question in it.

Simon seriously considered how to answer before saying, "I didn't know you before."

"Oh," Grace smiled before leaning into Simon.

"Both hearts fast. Contagious, question?"

****

Touching Grace quickly became one of Simon's favorite things. Rivaling plants, "real" food, and stars. He hadn't realized how much he needed this until the barrier was broken. They leaned against each other, exchanged pats, gave hugs. Simon had dozed off in the plant room once, only to wake up with his head in Grace's lap.

All of this touch settled something in Simon that he didn't know was restless. Never in his life had he been so content.

Naturally, that's when the nightmares started.

Simon didn't scream or cry. He woke with a gasp and no idea where he was. Frozen as the smell of blood and the voices lingered.

Rocky was there whenever he woke up, asking if he needed anything. Apparently, the alien was used to nightmares: Grace had them too. Simon wondered what haunted the scientist.

There was a particularly grueling nightmare one night where he relived tearing off his arm. The infected flesh reached deeper though. He kept ripping and tearing, but he couldn't rid himself of it. Too late. It was apart of him. It was him!

Then, he woke, breathing heavily and shaking. Cold sweat covered his body.

"Hey," a soft voice said, "Are you okay?"

The convict's gaze snapped to where Grace was sitting on the floor. He was wrapped up in his quilt and sipping from a mug that read "#1 Human Savior".

"Why are you up?" Simon asked gruffly.

"Rocky's asleep." Grace gestured with his mug at the still alien, curled up in a ball. "Had to watch."

"Could've woken me up."

"Next time. We can take turns."

Simon nodded: sounded like a plan. He didn't like the thought of Grace always being the one getting his sleep interrupted. There was two of them. They could share the burden.

Although he probably should go back to sleep, Simon didn't feel like it. He slipped out of bed. His blanket was wrapped around him like Grace's was.

Plopping down next to Grace and pushing himself against the scientist's side, Simon asked, "Doing anything?"

"Drinking coffee. I was thinking of watching a movie with the volume off. But, if you plan on staying up, we could watch something together. On the laptop: we've got to stick near Rocky."

"Sounds good," Simon said against his shoulder.

Grace browsed through their options, narrating what he thought of them and asking for Simon's input.

Maybe, it was because of the late hour. Maybe, it was because of how close they'd gotten. Maybe, it was because Simon was still a little raw from his nightmare.

Whatever the reason, Simon ended up asking, "Why'd you want me to like you?"

There was a choking noise, and Grace spluttered, "Wha—I—that's—did Rocky say something?!?"

"You were always trying to make me happy," Simon said. "Gave me stuff to read in medbay. Shared the good food. Always so damn patient. Right from the start. Why?"

"I—" Grace started before taking a moment to think. "Well, part of it's how I was raised. My parents taught me to be kind, and everyone back on Earth generally agrees that kindness is good. I won't lie though: I was excited about having another human around. Rocky's great, and I wouldn't want to be stuck in space with anyone else. I missed humans though. Then, you appeared. I didn't want the only human along the way to Erid to hate me."

"It worked: I don't hate you."

That made Grace laugh. "I don't hate you either. I actually think you're pretty great."

"Why?" Simon asked because he genuinely didn't understand why Grace seemed to like him so much.

"What's not to like? You help out, you're smart, you get along with Rocky, and you even listen to my endless rambling. Which, I know is annoying. Thanks for putting up with it."

Sitting up to look at Grace better, Simon said, "It's not annoying. I like listening to you talk. You say interesting shit."

The scientist went bright red. He put his face in his hands, saying, "Do you know how few people think that? Sooooooooo many people have told me I talk too much, friends and ex-girlfriends included."

"Fuck them." They obviously didn't deserve Grace. "Who gives a damn what they think?"

"I used to."

"Don't give a damn now then," Simon sad firmly, pulling Grace's hands away from his face. "You're great."

One second, Simon was looking at Grace's bright red face. The next, glasses were pressed against his nose and cheeks as the scientist kissed him.

Almost as soon as the kiss began, Grace pulled back, saying, "Sorry! I—cheese and crackers, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have—"

Simon leaned back in to connect their lips again. Grace went pliant and let the convict control the kiss, opening his mouth when Simon traced his tongue over a pink lip.

It was as Simon their mouths moved against each other that his feelings became clear. This was different from every other kiss Simon had ever shared. This wasn't a hurried race to get off. It wasn't a distraction from a hopeless universe.

This was a little piece of happiness that they were sharing.

Breaking the kiss, Simon said, "I love you."

"Are you sure?" Grace asked. "It's not just because we're the only two humans or because you're grateful or—"

Simon shut him up with another kiss. This one was wet and wanting, leaving a trail of spit when he leaned back to reiterate, "I love you."

Grace let out a shaky breath before saying, "I love you too."

"Good," Simon said, ghosting his smiling mouth against the other man's neck. "That makes this simpler."

"I mean, it could make things worse if this doesn't work oOUUUT!" Grace's voice got higher and louder as Simon bit the juncture between his neck and shoulder. The man was wearing a loose sweater that left so much skin exposed. Whining as Simon kissed and sucked up the man's neck, Grace said, "If you don't stop, there's going to be a situation in my pants."

"Promise?"

"We're on the floor."

"You can sit in my lap if you want."

Simon smiled up at Grace wolfishly, and the scientist gave him a look. One that said, "you're not funny."

Looks aside, Grace did put his blanket aside and straddled Simon's lap. There was indeed the start of a bulge pressed against Simon's stomach. The convict wrapped his arm around the other man's waist. It was Grace this time who connected their lips.

They made out for a while, enjoying the sensations of lips on lips and tongues in mouths. Grace rubbed himself fully hard against Simon's stomach. This got Simon's own cock interested. Getting off Grace was his top priority though. He would not let the scientist regret loving him.

Sliding his hand into the man's loose pants, Simon grabbed a hold of Grace's cock. It was a decent handful. Hot and slightly slick from precum. The scientist moaned. His hips twitched before rocking to the steady rhythm Simon set.

It wasn't long until Grace was shooting his load all over Simon's hand. The warm, wet jizz and the look on Grace's face pleased Simon. He liked how the scientist fell apart under his hand.

That being said, as Grace blinked out of his post-orgasm haze, the pink flush turned dark red. "It's—it's been a while! I barely even jack off because Rocky hears everything! I'm not usually so quick!"

"Wouldn't care if you were," Simon replied. "Makes getting you off easier."

"Yeah, well, it's not exactly impressive."

"I won't be much better."

Grace moved his hips and eyed the bulge in Simon's pants. Then, he was shimmying out of the convict's lap. He used a hand to pull down Simon's waistband. The other fished out Simon's aching member. A helpless groan escaped him.

Fuck, those hands were soft. He knew Grace's hands were soft, but it was another thing to feel that softness gripping his cock.

Just as he was taking a breath, Grace leaned forward and took the leaking tip of Simon's cock into his mouth.

"FUCK!" Simon said, unable to help himself. The warm, wet embrace of a mouth around his cock—Grace's mouth—was incredible. It had been a long-ass time since he'd gotten a blow job. And, this was Grace who was giving one to him.

Yeah, he wasn't going to last long at all.

Determined to enjoy it fully even though it would be over soon, Simon took in the sight of Grace. Of the man's lidded eyes as he sucked on the head of Simon's cock. He was still wearing his glasses, which somehow added to the experience. Simon put his hand on Grace's head. He only belatedly realized that he was getting cum in the man's hair, but Grace moaned like a quarter-ration whore.

Simon's hand closed around a fistful of hair. Not so much guiding Grace's movement as he was holding on for dear life.

Barely an inch past the head, a flick of tongue along the underside, and Simon was cumming. Hard and fast. He curled around Grace as the man swallowed around his cock.

The scientist couldn't swallow all of the cum though. When Simon came down from his orgasm and got a good look, he saw that there was a trail of white from the corner of Grace's mouth. Down his chin. His hair was also messy with cum.

It was a miracle that Simon didn't cum again on the spot.

"You're fucking perfect," Simon said. "Get up here and kiss me."

****

Much later, they were laying together in Grace's bed—naked under several blankets—when Simon said, "I want you to have this." He was holding out his wrist to Grace, showing him the seed-pendant bracelet.

"I've been meaning to ask you about this," Grace said. His hands traced the bracelet curiously.

"It's a seed from the Last Tree. Everyone in Eden got one before it started dying."

"I can't take this," Grace whispered. "It means too much to you."

"That's why I want you to have it. People used to exchange their seeds with the one that mattered the most to them." Simon's mom had exchanged hers with his dad.

"I don't have one to give to you," Grace said sadly.

"It's okay, I just want you to have it." He wanted to see Grace wear something that spoke of their connection. He wanted their relationship to be visible, so that Simon could look at it and be reminded that Grace loved him.

Before Grace could respond though, musical notes and an automated voice filled the air. "Humans cuddle naked, question?"