Archive of Our Own

When Frank Langdon first started staying over at Mel King's place, lots of things about him surprised her.

He really likes to clean, or at least he cleans a lot. “It occupies my mind.” He told her once, while unscrewing the front of her oven door in order to scrub the glass in between.

He loves to watch hockey games on the TV, but he never watches football. “It's not that I don't like football, it just makes me too mad.” He had told her. That made Mel laugh, because he still got mad at hockey, so she couldn't imagine how mad he’d get at football.

He likes to meditate. “I was taught it in rehab. And I can't do the marathons anymore with my fucking back.” He told her, when she caught him in a lotus pose doing some sort of breathing technique, which she forgot the name of, on the floor of her bathroom once.

He's really good at chess. Infuriatingly good. "My dad taught me. He thought it would help me learn how to focus." He told her. Mel thought she was good at chess after Becca developed an obsession with it when they were teenagers and always made Mel play with her. Eventually, Mel figured Frank was probably letting her win when she played him, which was totally against his competitive nature. Although he never let Becca win when he played her, because she would call him out on it.

He's nearsighted and wears glasses. Well, he wears contacts at work and throughout most of the day. But at night, he wears these thick-framed clear glasses that make him look so hot and studious that it made Mel practically throb when she saw him wearing them for the first time, but she had to wait until he finished the NYT Daily Crossword before she could jump him.

He likes to make Spotify playlists, specifically, he likes to make her Spotify playlists with cute little names like ‘Mel <3’ and ‘Songs that make me think of us.’ The playlists were always filled with 'dad bands' like Styx–who she probably knew the whole discography of by now–The Cure, Eagles, Bruce Springsteen and U2 also frequently featured. She made him a Megan the Stallion playlist in return, which he always has on repeat during their drives together.

But most of all, he likes to be very, very sweet with her all the time. Not that him being sweet was particularly surprising, he's always been so soft and kind with her–but just how extremely sweet he manages to be all the time. That was the surprising part.

He's sweet at work, in the car after work, while they make dinner, on the couch after dinner, while they're sleeping, while they're having sex, after they have sex and in the morning before they get to work. Rinse and repeat. He's always just so sweet.

He's very sweet to her on Friday night restaurant dinners with Becca (and he's very good at being sweet with Becca, too). He's very sweet to her in front of kids on weekends, who pretend to be grossed out when he kisses her in front of them–Tanner has recently learned about ‘cooties’ and warned Penny about them too.

He's always holding her hand, everywhere they go. He is always complimenting her–the clothes she wears, how she did her hair that day, her eyes, her mouth, her moles and her freckles. He loves it all, and he lets her know that he loves it all. She can't stand somewhere for five minutes without him coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her, whispering sweet things in her ear–except in work, where he's slightly more subtle.

In the year they've been together, they've only had four fights. And only one proper, blow-out, bad fight. The first fight was over Mel complaining he was driving too erratically after work (to be fair, she had sent him a dirty text earlier in the day, so he was driving home a little faster than usual).

Their second fight was after a long, terrible shift, after which Mel tried to go straight to sleep, but he dragged her out of her blanket cocoon because he needed her to eat something, even though she really didn't want to. She snapped at him but eventually said sorry once she actually ate the tomato and mozzarella pasta he had made, that she, admittedly, really did need to eat.

The third fight was because one of the workers at Chipotle was always flirting with her. (Mel didn't realise he was flirting and thought the guy was just being nice). Frank admitted he was jealous, so the next time they went, she let him have his hands all over her the whole time they ordered.

The worst fight, however, the-tears-falling-down-faces, screaming-at-each-other and slamming-doors kind of fight, that only happened once. Mel had taken Robby's side over a patient case instead of Frank's. It was a patient with distal renal tubular acidosis. Frank was insistent they should go with an aggressive potassium replacement concurrent with alkali therapy–he had read a paper that doing the two treatments at the same time was increasingly being recommended for better patient outcomes–but Robby was insistent they should do the potassium replacement first, then onto alkali therapy separately. Ultimately, Mel agreed that the priority was the potassium correction–the patient was dangerously low. Frank's face fell as soon as she said it.

She knew he was upset about it for the rest of their shift. He could barely look at her. Once they got back to her place, he lost it on her. He shouted that she mustn't trust in his abilities as a doctor, his voice was so loud it almost made her shake. She shouted back and told him she was only doing what was best for the patient. He slammed her front door at 11 PM, and Mel got in her bed and cried. But he returned at 4 AM with his spare key and begged her to forgive him. He got on his knees and put his head in her lap and cried. He told her he was terrified of relapsing and heartbroken that his relationship with Robby would never be the same because of what he did. She scooped him up and held him all night then. That next morning, he made a 9 AM appointment with his therapist and came up with a plan for what he would do the next time that situation happened. He also had a list of five reasons he was grateful for her and their relationship together, but Mel wasn't sure if that was really the therapist’s idea or just Frank's.

Overall, he was always so sweet. There was really no other word for it. The first time they had sex–a month and four days exactly after he and Abby decided to separate–he focused on her the entire time. He asked her if she was OK and if she was sure about a thousand times. He talked her through every move he made with his body. He was like that the second time, the third time, and the fourth time. It's not that the sex isn't amazing, because it is. They've tried almost every position under the sun (Mel even bought a copy of Cosmopolitan to find more options after they tried every position that Frank knew). He enthusiastically tried everything she wanted to try. He made her cum at least twice every time they had sex–sometimes he would just make her cum then call at night, telling her he was satisfied just satisfying her. It's not that she didn’t feel amazing every time, but Mel couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that something was missing.

The only time he wasn't so sweet was at work. Well, he was still sweet to her at work–just like he was the first day he met her, and the day he came back from rehab and all the days since. But with everyone else, he’s Langdon–cocky, snarky, sarcastic doctor extraordinaire. He's ER Ken. He's a puppy that won't return to it's crate. He doesn't care if he comes across as rude or cheeky or playful or even an asshole. His arrogance is earned, in a way. Because at the end of the day, everyone in there knows he's a really good doctor.

It did take a couple of months, after rehab, before he was really back to himself. To remember just how good he is and start acting like it. Not before long, he was back to his witty banter with Garcia and pissing off Princess and Perlah on a daily basis. He learned how to teach Trinity without biting her head off–with much encouragement from Mel–and Trinity learned how to at least tolerate his brand of cockiness–also with much encouragement from Mel. He could now restrain himself a bit more, maybe, than on the first day she met him. A bit more considerate, a bit more caring, a little bit softer, but overall, everyone in the Pitt still saw him as fun, cocky Langdon. Not her sweet Frank.

It's not that she doesn't love sweet Frank. She does. More than she's ever really loved anything or anyone–outside of her twin sister. But she loves cocky Langdon too.

She confessed it, once, during a girls' night out with Trinity when Samira came back for a visit to Pittsburgh. Samira had casually asked her what Frank was like in bed. She told Mel it was a normal 'girlie' question, when she went a pale white colour over it. But Mel's reaction wasn't as bad as Trinity's, who mimicked hitting her head off the table, repeatedly saying she didn't want to hear about it.

“You don't have to answer if you don't want to, Mel.” Samira had told her, smiling softly.

“Maybe he's bad.” Trinity had shrugged.

“He's not bad.” Mel snapped up. “He's definitely not bad in bed. He makes me–he’s very good. At all of it. Very good. OK?” She added.

“Oh!” Samira grinned. “From the sound of that, I'm going to assume you're very well taken care of.” She laughed, about to move on.

Trinity searched Mel's eyes, even though she tried to avoid them. “But?” She had asked.

“There's no but!” Mel blushed. “I–we. We're very active. And we try a lot of different stuff. And he's perfect, like literally perfect. He's such a gentleman. So sweet and so giving…” She had said.

“Too sweet?” Trinity asked, an odd smirk on her face, that Mel struggled to fully understand.

Mel shrugged. “Sometimes I wish he'd be a little bit more…hubristic. I don't know.” She groaned, embarrassed by this conversation.

“Hubristic!” Samira laughed. “So like what? He's not cocky or whatever when he's with you?” She asked. She said the word 'cocky' in a big, over-the-top way.

Mel shook her head. “He's just such a sweetheart. He's a big softie. He's such a dad, you know. I love that so much about him, like so much but–”

“Mel King likes a bad boy. I thought so.” Trinity smirked and folded her arms.

Samira rolled her eyes and raised an eyebrow at Trinity. “Play nice.” She turned back to Mel.

“I don’t know.” Mel frowned. “Sometimes it feels like there’s a Frank and there’s a Langdon and they are somehow two different people. I know it doesn’t make much sense.” She sighed.

“Just talk to him. I'm sure he'll enjoy being a bit more…smug…if you ask him to.” Samira said, sincerely.

“She's right.” Trinity shrugged. “You're basically Willy Wonka giving him the golden ticket.” She added.

The conversation topic ended there when Trinity proclaimed that, as much as she loved Mel, she never wanted to even consider Frank Langdon’s sex life for another second.

She wanted to ask him. She even thought about asking him that night. But when she walked into her room, he was sitting up in her bed, with his glasses on, waiting for her, reading a collection of John O’Donohue poems that his Narcotics Anonymous sponsor recommended. He looked up at her with a big, goofy smile and asked how her night was. And it just reminded her how much she loved her sweet Frank, and maybe she didn't need cocky Langdon.

But one fateful Friday night, the opportunity presented itself perfectly. Earlier that day, she got to watch Frank ace floating a transvenous pacer. The patient came in already getting CPR, so close to not making it, before Frank said he recently witnessed a cardio fellow doing a procedure where they advanced the wire, inflated a balloon, pushed to capture, secured and deflated the balloon. See one, do one, he had said. He made it sound so simple when he suggested it, like he was explaining how to put a bandaid on.

It's not something emergency medicine doctors get to do every day, and even Robby was impressed by Frank's quick thinking and how well it was done by a newbie attending. Better than that, even the cardio attending on-call was impressed and told Frank he did a good job.

His head was so big it was practically floating itself, and Mel loved it. He was full of smiles, giving high fives to Donnie and Jesse. Even Trinity told him it was cool. He kept sending smiles at Mel as a new med student told him it was a cool save. Watching him like this, his energy buzzing around like a puppy who had proved it had learned a new trick, did something spiritual to Mel. She had to practically hold her legs together and bite her lip watching him.

He was still smiling at Mel with a big, cheesy grin, his legs bouncing up and down, full of adrenaline, when he sat down next to her and subtly put his hand on the small of her back at the nurses' station as she was charting. “I, for one, am certainly looking forward to Friday night restaurant dinner with Becca tonight. What are the King sisters craving?” He says, close to her ear as she grins at her computer. “Unfortunately, Becca texted me earlier and said she was invited to Adam’s cousin’s Christening–or something like that. So we’re on our own tonight.” Mel shrugs, before she thought of an opportunity.

Before Frank could respond, Mel pipes up again. “But we could to the taco truck by your place and just stay there tonight?”

They very rarely stayed at Frank’s apartment. It was better for Mel to be closer to Middlehill just in case, and on nights that Becca stayed over, she obviously needed her room. Even when Becca wasn’t staying over, Mel’s place was closer to PTMC and even close to Abby’s new house, so it was easier for Frank to wake up in Mel’s place and get the kids from there. There wasn’t really a need for Frank to even have his own apartment anymore, but Mel thought it would be insane if she asked him to move in under a year of dating; she knew his lease was up soon, though, so the conversation was likely to happen any day now. Although they’d probably need to get a bigger place together, considering Mel’s apartment didn’t really have room for Tanner and Penny to stay over. But tonight, Mel thought there was a benefit to Frank having his own apartment. It was an idea Trinity gave her–with much resistance when Mel brought the topic up again–that maybe he's more considerate when he's in her room with her lava lamp, white noise machine and colour-coded closet system and would relax more in his own space–be more Langdon.

Frank looks at her, clearly confused. “My place, really? I thought you hated sleeping there.” He says.

It was true. Mel had only stayed in Frank's apartment a few times, and even though she wasn't particularly the type of person who needs a lot of sleep, she does have her particular routines about her sleep. Frank's apartment has a lot of street noise from cars and people outside, and while he tried to help her out by playing white noise from a YouTube video on his phone, it wasn't the same as her machine. His lamp is also one of those big, bright ones with a white light, not the soft yellow she's used to. His apartment is also constantly freezing, no matter how high the heat is. But she could handle it for a night, especially considering the other potential benefits.

“I don't mind, thought it'd be easier instead of going all the way back to mine after the taco place. Abby's taking the kids to her parents this weekend anyway, right?” She replies, trying to seem casual.

Frank smiles at her softly. “Yeah, good point. Grab me when you're ready to go later, yeah?” He whispers, and softly takes the back of her hand and kisses it. Mel grins at him, watching him walk off still full of energy as he spots Yolanda to tell her about his win earlier.

Later, they're queuing at the taco truck near Frank's apartment. There's been on-and-off rain all day, which leaves that damp smell in the air that makes everything feel a little stuffy. It makes Mel herself feel stuffy. And she knows Frank can sense it, he always does. She's avoiding his eye contact when he finally speaks up. “What's up?” He says softly, gripping her hand in his, he runs his thumb across the outside of her palm, trying to get her to look at him. Mel takes a deep breath and attempts her best fake laugh. “Nothing. Why?” She smiles.

Frank squints his eyes, trying to read her. “Have you changed your mind about staying at my place tonight? We can easily drive to your place, I don't mi–” He speaks, in this sweet, reassuring tone that makes Mel like she's a bad person somehow.

“Nope! I want to stay at your place.” She perks up, trying to keep his positive energy from earlier going. “OK.” He says, with an unconvincing laugh and a confused frown as he steps up to the truck to order their usual–steak tacos for him, chicken tacos for Mel, with no salsa please.

Once they're back in Frank's place, Mel shakes off her coat and lets her hair down, grabbing one of Frank's Penguins hoodies that he's left on a heater to put on. Frank quickly lets the golden doodle, Peanut, into his small backyard. Mel watches as the little dog comes back in and pitter patters back into its bed in the kitchen, it's tail bouncing the whole time. You know that thing that people say–that sometimes people's dogs have their personalities–Mel always thinks this applies to Frank and his golden doodle. Peanut is, in many ways, Langdon–excitable, eager, bursting with energy but also Frank–soft, loveable and gentle all at the same time. Frank was as good dog dad as he was human-being dad.

Frank didn't have much stuff or decor in his apartment, he was always at Mel's anyway. The living room was all quite grey and modern. It had a light grey couch with two dark grey cushions–that Mel hated the scratchy material of–which all sits atop a darker grey rug. There's also a small black IKEA coffee table where Frank's fancy wooden chess board sits and a laughably big TV that Mel never understood the need for–it takes up almost all the space in the room. He has a framed poster of Back to the Future on the wall, as well as a collection of framed photos of Tanner and Penny, and one of Frank and Mel–a strip from a photo booth they went to last summer. There's signs of Tanner and Penny dotted across the room, a small white book shelf with children's books and board games across the shelves. A couple of Tanner's hot wheels are in a box under the coffee table and Penny has a vintage dollhouse with a Barbie and a Cinderella doll inside that sits in the corner of the room. A big floor lamp is on the far side of the room, it has a bright white light just like the lamp in his bedroom. Other than that, it's pretty sparse.

Mel gets comfy on the couch as Frank sits up on the floor in front of her–helps his back, he says–they eat their food pretty quietly with the sound of Jeopardy in the background. Mel tries to enjoy her food without dwelling on the conversation she wants to have with him.

It's silly really. Mel feels like she's picking a fight with him when, in reality, she might be giving him the keys to the castle. Once she finishes her food and gets up quickly to throw the packaging in the trash, she returns to her place on the couch and leans down to rub Frank's shoulders and kiss the side of his head from where he sits in front of her.

Frank turns his head around to her and smiles. “What's gotten into you?” He laughs.

“I want to kiss my boyfriend, is that so weird?” She frowns, trying to keep her voice light. He tilts his head at her and then kisses her lips in a soft, romantic way. She takes his hand and helps pull him up to the couch.

Mel immediately leans back against the edge of the sofa and pulls him back toward her, opening her mouth to kiss him again. He hums against her mouth before stopping to kiss the mole under the right side of her jaw, which she constantly has to convince him not to leave a hickey on. He leans back to look at her, her blonde hair sprawled across her shoulders and her pink blush sprawled across her cheeks. He's staring at her like there's no one else that exists in the world. “You're so beautiful, honey bee.” He whispers, leaning back down to kiss the mole again.

Honey bee. He loves calling her that. It’s literally what the name Melissa means, after all. Frank told her once that the name Melissa derives from a Greek legend, in which Mélissa is a nymph who discovered and taught the use of honey, which she used to nurse the infant Zeus. It made Mel laugh because, of course, she already knew that, but she loved hearing it from Frank, all the same.

While Mel appreciates this, she decides to, ultimately, ruin the moment. “Frank,” She starts as she sits up slightly. His face immediately fills with worry as he leans back, folding his knees. “I really…liked watching you today, do that procedure.” She says.

“Yeah?” He smiles, clearly confused.

“And I really liked seeing you after when you were all confident and smiley when everyone was complimenting you. Like your tail was practically wagging.” She waffles, slightly embarrassed by how much she's talking with her hands.

“OK…” Frank replies, still unsure what she's getting at.

“I don't know how to explain this very well.” Mel blushes. “It's just that I like seeing you like that, a lot. Like the first day we met, I don't know, I liked watching you be so cool and so good at your job and seeing just know how good you are.” She adds.

“I don't know about that. I got kicked out of the ED and went to rehab right after we met.” Frank shrugs with a wavering voice.

“I know. But you came back even better. Like Langdon 2.0–you know how good you are, today proved it.” She adds.

“Well, thank you, baby, for saying that but I still don't know what you're getting at.” He smiles, moving a strand of her hair away from her face.

“Sometimes I feel like you don't let yourself be like that with me. Like at work, your Langdon, and he's so…cocksure and buzzing off the walls. You're different with me, not in a bad way, just…different.” She shrugs.

“Cocksure?” He laughs.

“It's the word that came to mind! It's from the 1500s and related to religion and loyalty to God or…something!” She says back, frustrated, before there's a somewhat awkward silence.

“Look, Mel. If it makes you feel better, I don't actively try to be different with you. The way I am with you, it just happens. You just have this way that…softens me, I guess. I don't really try to be some cocky hot-shot doctor when I'm work either it's just–” He says.

“Who you are.” Mel replies, finishing the sentence for him.

Mel places her hands on his thighs. “I love you and I love having sex with you. You make me feel things…that I didn't even know were possible, Frank. I just wish you'd act like you know just how good you are with me a little more.” She confesses, her breath definitely catching a little, she hopes he doesn't really notice.

Frank stares at her for a second, like he’s trying to come up with what he wants to say to her.

Mel interrupts him again, before he manages to stay anything. “What were you like with Abby? Was it like us?” She asks.

“Jesus, Mel.” He sighs. “No, it was nothing like us. I’ve never…Mel I’ve never felt a connection to anyone like I’ve had with you.” He says.

She can tell he wants to put this topic to bed, probably literally, but she can’t help herself. “How many people have you slept with then?” She asks.

“Mel,” He huffs, scooting further away from her on the couch. She won't let him away with it, so she moves closer to him until she's practically sat in his lap. He doesn't protest. “Why won't you talk about this stuff with me?" She asks quietly. He looks up at her, looking like he's finally going to give in.

“11.” He says.

“You've slept with 11 women?” She confirms, perhaps a little bit of shock in her voice.

“People.” He corrects.

"OK. 11 people." She replies.

"Is that more than you expected?" Frank asks.

"It was more than I would've guessed." Mel says, matter-of-factly.

"Hey," He grins, pulling her closer. "I could've had way more than 11." He says, which makes Mel roll her eyes–but, admittedly, she likes it.

"And that's just strictly sex. Counting other stuff it'd be like…25 people maybe?"

Mel raises her eyebrows.

"I had kind of a 'single era' in college–maybe there was an addictive element to it, I don't know. It wasn't till senior year that Abby and I got together, officially." He shrugs.

Mel just blinks at him.

"See! This is why I didn't want to tell you." He huffs, looking away from her direction.

"I'm not judging…I just wanted to know." She responds, in a soft, careful tone. She moves closer to him again.

He finally looks at her, and lets his arm fall on her hip. "If it makes you feel better, all those people and you're still the best I've ever had." He whispers.

Mel blushes a little and lets her hand fall on top of his.

"So what is it you want? You want me to be rougher or something with you?" He asks, in a serious tone with a slightly disturbed look on his face.

"Not necessarily." Mel says, casually.

"Not necessarily?" Frank laughs.

Mel stands up now, finding herself getting frustrated. "I just want you to know how good you are and really act like it. Is that too much to ask?" She says, huffing out air.

"Babe," Frank says, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to his lap. "Come here." He adds, rubbing the back of her head.

"I can do it… but I want a safe word or something." Frank says shyly.

"A safe word?" Mel says, surprised.

"I'm not planning anything extreme, I just want to make sure I don't take it too far. I don't know." He says quietly. Mel looks at his face for a moment–he looks sort of vulnerable, maybe a little worried, and it makes her heart swoop–she'll do anything to make this work for him.

"OK," She agrees, running her hand over his jaw. "If I say…" She begins as her eyes search about the room for a second, before landing on his chess board. "Pawn. Then we stop."

He looks up at her with a soft smile. "Pawn?" He confirms with a small chuckle. Mel smiles back at him. "Well, I was limited in my options when it comes to chess–picking King would've got confusing." She says.

"OK. I'm ready now." Frank says, in an almost sudden way. "Go upstairs, lie down on my bed and be completely naked." He instructs. His tone is void of much emotion, and reminds her of how he talks to med students that he hasn't made his mind up about yet.

Mel feels her heart beat rise immediately. The blood quickly rushes to her core, as she bites her lip and nods. She has to pace herself from completely dashing up the stairs and stripping her clothes off in a frenzy.

Frank's bedroom is small, too–he gave Tanner and Penny the bigger rooms. It has just enough room for a double bed which is pushed against the left wall. The walls are painted black. The style of the room reminds her of something a frat boy might have had in college–not that she spent much time at all in the rooms of frat boys. She mainly awkwardly stood around in them until her freshman roommate started making out with a guy and gave her the thumbs up to confirm she was safe, which was Mel's signal to walk out.

Frank's got blue sheets with a darker blue comforter on top with white pillows–4 in total. They're duck-feather down pillows, and probably the most expensive thing he keeps in the whole apartment. He's always told her can't sleep well on shitty pillows, so he bought fancy memory foam ones for her place too. Above the bed, there's one of arty framed maps of Pittsburgh and a poster from the last time they went to the Fort Pitt museum with the kids.

To the left of the room, there's a small, built-in closet with some shirts on hangers and suitcases on the bottom, because he truthfully keeps most of his clothes at Mel's now.

There's also a small wooden bedside table on the right side of the bed, where Mel has left her glasses to sit. The bedside table has a thin shelf underneath which currently has a collection of short stories by Charles Bukowski on it and a hardback collection of Seamus Heaney poems that Mel got him last Christmas.

At the end of the bed, there's a wide, black dresser with a few more clothes and old pyjamas, but again, it looking pretty bare since he started staying almost full time at Mel's. On top, there's a framed photo of Frank holding Penny with Tanner smiling next to him at Penny's first birthday. There's also a photo of Mel and Becca at Kennywood that Frank took when they went a few months ago that he hasn't gotten around to putting in a frame yet. He has a couple of aftershaves and fancy lotions on top of the dresser too.

As Mel lies on the bed, tracking all this, she wishes she clarified with him which way she should lie down naked on the bed. She's on her side now, facing the door. But she feels too awkward and posed and wonders if she should lie on her stomach instead. As she decides to turn around and do just that, she finally hears Frank marching up the stairs. She wonders if he had to get into character for a minute, which is ridiculous, because she's just asking him to be himself, in a way.

Mel listens as he opens the door and takes these quick, strong steps towards her. She wants to turn her head and look at him, but something in her brain stops her. She's facing the headboard, lying with her weight on her stomach but her ass slightly pointed up, she leans on her forearms and lets her legs dangle underneath her.

She can feel Frank's eyes behind her when he finally speaks. "Good girl. Just like I asked." He says. He sounds a little giddy, with a little bit of uncertainty behind it all.

"Look at me." He adds, and she follows her instruction immediately, turning her view from the headboard to look at him at the end of the bed.

"You want me so bad huh?" He says, smirking and cocking his head to the left a little. Mel bites her lip and nods.

"How badly?" He asks, and Mel can tell he's getting more comfortable with this whole concept already.

"So bad. It almost hurts, that's how bad, Frank." She suddenly says, without really thinking about or processing the words, she just says them. She tends to do that with Frank, like he has this power to completely break down the carefully considered masks she has with most people.

"Nah-uh-uh." He suddenly says, stepping closer to end of the bed. "Not Frank tonight. You wanted Dr Langdon, you get Dr Langdon, so you can call me that too." He adds, firmly.

This is a little ironic. She thinks, as he was the one that insisted she call him Frank when they started properly forming a friendship. It was exactly a month after his first shift on the fourth of July before he was actually able to get her to say it, driving her home one August evening. "I do actually have a first name, you know." She recalled him saying at the time. "I know, but it feels weird because no one else in work calls you Frank." She had told him. "Well, I really like hearing you say it." He had told her, grinning with a big cheesy smile the whole drive back to her place.

Six months later, she was moaning that very name for the first time. February 4th. He gave her the best birthday gift she'd ever gotten in her life. On January 1st, Frank has told her Abby has asked for a divorce on New Year's Eve. They were both slightly proud they actually stuck it out a month and four days into his separation before he was in her bed, inside of her–if Mel was really honest, their emotional affair started long before that, but it all worked out in the end so potato, adultery.

"Dr Langdon." Mel finally nods with a gulp. "It turns you on just to say it, doesn't it?" He says, very quietly. Mel couldn't deny the leak of wetness that instantly spilled out of from in-between her legs when he said that. "Yes, Dr Langdon." She nods. Uh oh. She thought. This could become a bit of issue in their workplace, where she actually did have to call him this very name on a regular basis.

"Did it turn you on all the way back then? Before I asked you to call me Frank? Did you fantasise about me then? Thinking about calling me Dr Langdon and picturing my mouth between your thighs?" He exclaims.

Mel's jaw opens then just stays there. Because he wasn't wrong, and he knew that he wasn't wrong. "Show me how you would touch yourself back then. What did you do imagining I was there with you?" He says, in this hot, commanding tone that makes Mel impossibly wetter.

Mel nods for him again, still retaining eye contact. She takes her own left hand and uses it to fondle her chest. "I'd usually start here. Imagining what your hands would like on my chest." She confirms.

"Turn around, show me." He instructs, so she moves back to fully face him, sitting up slightly against his headboard, she takes her forefinger and middle finger and slots her already desperately hard nipples between them. "Like this, I would do it like this." She whines.

Frank is staring at her with this intensity that could almost be frightening if she didn't know him so well. "I pictured that too. In those months when we were just friends, I'd picture your tits almost every day, imagine how you'd respond when I touch them." He says, so matter-of-factly, but she can he's already getting hard through his jeans.

"Baby," Mel moans. The idea of Frank touching himself, thinking of her, when he was still officially with Abby turns her on much more than she'd like to admit. It wasn't exactly a surprise, he had whispered enough dirty things in her ear over the course of the year they'd been together that she came to that conclusion on her own, but hearing him admit it made her even more desperate for him.

"Not baby. Dr Langdon." He reminds her. Mel nods and throws her head back, still using her palm to rub against her nipples. "Where else did you touch yourself back then, thinking about my hands on a patient, wishing they were on you?" He says, a small smirk on his face.

That makes Mel release a straggled noise she didn't even know she was capable of making before she opens her legs and reveals the damp spot already appearing on his sheets. She watches as he considers saying something then holds himself back, going back to smirking instead. "I'd be wet like this." Mel whines, finally letting her fingers make contact with her core, gathering her wetness around her entrance.

"Imagining it was my fingers?" He asks. Mel nods quickly, desperately because it was true. Mel uses her wetness to begin to stroke up and down against her clit, never breaking eye contact with him. She feels her hair must be wild and she must look a desperate sweaty mess. She'd be insecure to do this with anyone else, it's too vulnerable, too much. But with him, she barely second guesses it. She's never exactly done this either, just touched herself with him watching. There's been times when he's fucking her that she's reached between her legs to stroke her own clit, but he usually moves her hands away and insists on doing it himself. Right now, he seems happy to just watch.

Without a word, or really breaking eye contact, he removes his black sweater, then the white, tight t-shirt he's got underneath then his dark blue jeans. He stands in his boxers and slowly strokes himself over the fabric. "I bet you thought of me like this, didn't you? Imagined me touching myself like this?" He groans now, unable to sound so detached at this point.

"Yes," Mel breathes out, still slowly working her own clit.

"And the whole time, I was. I was lying in the guest bed in the room next to where my wife was sleeping and desperately pumping myself thinking of Dr Mel King. Your voice–I would remember things you said in work that day and replay them in my head. The way you said 'yeah' to a patient, I would imagine you were saying that to me while I fucked you. Once I heard you groan in pain when you had a headache and I used that noise in my fantasies. It was fucked." He groans again, still only touching himself through his boxers.

Mel makes a "ugh-ugh" noise as she inserts a finger inside herself, feeling herself getting closer to the edge. "No. Don't cum yet, I'm not done yet." He tells her, and it makes her throw her head back in frustration.

"OK." She whines, and tries to slow down how she touches herself. She hears Frank finally slide down his boxers, revealing his hard length, which he has gripped up against his stomach. He steps closer to the end of the bed, and slides down Mel's leg a little to grip onto her ankle with his left hand while he strokes himself with his right.

"It's killing you, seeing me touch myself like this isn't it?" Frank finally says, staring as she continues to work at herself.

"Yes, Dr Langdon." She breathes out and watches as this elicits a small smile and blush out of him–she kind of revels in getting him to break character in this way.

"Tell me how badly you want to cum, Mel." He says with a wince.

"I can't even–I can't." She replies, but she honestly can't find the words. She's so close.

"Use your words, Dr King." He says and stares into her eyes.

"Please. I need to cum, I can't beg anymore–please." She moans, her voice all deep and throaty.

"Show me." He says, pumping himself a little faster with his hand.

Mel takes that as permission, and begins to work herself faster, she decides to focus her efforts on her clit as she meets his eyes again. All he needs to do is nod and smirk at her and she's gone. She leaks more wetness and her hips buck as she releases a relieved, desperate noise. She's breathing hard and can feel literal drops of sweat on her forehead as she makes an effort to come back down.

"That was very good, Dr King." He says, like he's complimenting her for doing a complicated procedure in work. Oh yes, this whole thing is definitely going to be a problem at work now. She's going to get wet every time he calls her Dr King. She thinks, mentally accepting it and shrugging it off.

His hand has remained gripping her ankle this whole time as Mel sits up to meet him at the end of the bed, desperate to kiss him. He allows her, deepening the kiss and pulling her into him, his tongue gliding against hers as she feels him breathe out hard from his nose.

Mel pulls him down to the bed so he's sitting on it, then eyes the floor space in front of him. She doesn't give him head as often as he gives it to her. It's often because she's just overstimulated and too spent to have the brain space to do it once he's worked her to orgasm and also because Frank doesn't often seem to enthusiastic about it. He's always too cautious about if it's too much and if she's enjoying it too.

"You want to, don't you?" Frank suddenly says, once his eyes follow hers. Mel nods.

"You want my cock in your mouth so bad, don't you baby? I know it's big, I don't know if you can handle it." He smiles.

Mel immediately gets on her knees in front of him. She can only nod again, but she does want to, desperately, give him every form of pleasure she possibly can. He's right too–he is big. Mel's eyes pretty much bulged out her head the first time she saw it. She's gotten a little more used to it by now.

Mel does her best to scoop her hair out of her face, cursing herself for not leaving spare hair-ties in his apartment before Frank's hand meets the back of her head and makes a fist that creates a ponytail of sorts. She smiles against his stomach as she kisses it before she finally grips the base of his hard cock with her right hand. She steadies herself and holds onto his hip with her other hand. With her hand holding him up, she slowly sinks her mouth onto him.

"That's it." Frank says, as she puffers out her lips and begins to slowly suck up and down. She worries it's a bit too drooly as she looks up at him, but the way his eyes are almost black and his head is tilted back, she works out it's probably a non-issue.

She can still tell he's holding back now, so she tries to take more of him, breathing out through her nose. He strokes the back of her head from when he holds her hair back.

"You just want me to fuck your throat don't you?" He says, all of a sudden. It makes Mel make a strange noise out of her throat, but she tries to keep her position where it is.

She feels Frank scoot his hips a little closer to her, and very slowly, he begins to move his hips. He's moaning now. This is the furthest they've ever got with Mel giving him head, he's usually too worried once she makes any sounds of any potential struggle.

Mel's core thuds against as she continues to suck him, the pleasure she's giving him doing unimaginable things to her. Being the one to give him that. She brings her other hand up to attempt to stroke his balls, but he begins to tap on her hollowed-out cheek then.

"No–no. I want to cum inside you, not your pretty little mouth. Don't you want my cum inside you?" He insists. While she's not been able to make him give into cumming in her mouth previously, she's too selfish to allow it to happen tonight, because she is desperate to have him inside her.

She releases him with a pop and he lets her hair out of his hand. He strokes her head again for a second before Frank moves further up on the bed and Mel follows.

Before she has a second to think, Frank grabs her hips and settles him down in his lap. She can feel his desperately hard length right against her pubic bone.

"I don't know if you can take it." He smirks, which is silly, because she's taking it many times, but she appreciates his efforts in being quite literally, cocky. "I don't think you can handle it." He adds, slowly moving his hips against her.

"I can. I can." She groans, completely giving into him.

"It's a very big job, Dr King." He whispers. It instantly makes her wetness leak further between his folds, which he definitely notices when he smirks up at her.

"You want me so bad." He observes. "You want me to fuck your brains out?" He says, in this cocky, excited voice that Mel usually only hears from him in a trauma room. Frank does do dirty talk when they have sex, but never like this. It's all sweet stuff like 'you take me so well' and 'I've dreamt of this' and 'you're so tight I could die'. All that stuff certainly sounds amazing to hear, but hearing what he just said makes Mel literally gasp.

"Yes, Dr Langdon." She says, quickly, with no uncertainty.

He finally pulls her hips up a little, positions his cock at her entrance and helps to pull her hips back down. After giving her a beat to settle, he places his hands on both sides of her hips, and pushes her up and down. It's like he's using her body like it's his hand, without even moving his own hips much. Mel's eyes bulge out of her head as she watches him move her, his eyes deep and mouth open in focus.

Mel was acutely aware of how this motion was making her tits bounce in his face, which he looked mesmerized by.

"You're obsessed with me." Frank says, so matter-of-factly as if he was telling the time. Mel could only moan and nod. His movements weren't necessarily rough per say, but definitely less careful than he usually is. Even when he is a little more spirited with her when they're usually having sex–typically when he's about to finish–he'll be rubbing her legs or arms and whispering the sweetest things you've ever heard. She does appreciate that, most of the time, but right now, it feels very good to be hearing none of that.

"You can barely take it." He adds, now starting to push his hips onto into hers, still continuing to move her own. Mel shakes her head and scrunches her face, because he's right–she can barely take it. It feels too good.

It makes him slow down for a second and breathe out air against her skin. "Pawn?" He asks, sounding desperate. "Nope. Not pawn. Don't stop." She confirms, proving her theory that he'll always need to be at least a little sweet.

She puts her hands on the hair on his chest to help get leverage as his hips move against her, which elicits a long "fuck" out of him.

"I'm gonna make you cum again, aren't I? I swear I could make you cum just be looking at you sometimes." He says, a cheeky, excited tone coming out of him. A band of sweat is starting to break out around his hairline.

"Please." Mel groans, not managing to expand beyond that.

"Fuck." Frank repeats, putting his middle finger and forefingers together and letting them circle against her clit. Mel makes a pulsing, repetitive sound out of her mouth that ends with a gasp, she feels like a gong being hit as she cums around him.

This seems to send Frank into another dimension as he pulls her body closer into him as her cunt continues to contract around him. There's tears falling out of her eyes around his shoulders as he works her hips against him. "I knew you were obsessed with my dick, I always knew it." He whispers into her skin.

"I'm going to cum inside you, that's what you want, huh?" He grunts. Mel is a diligent taker of her combined hormonal contraceptive pill–every night at 9, so he cums inside every time that they have sex, but it's still hot to hear him command it.

He threads his hand through her hair till his palm is all in the roots. He often likes to do this, but is usually much more gentle about it, because the sensation of how he moves against her is making it tug. Mel doesn't expect it to feel good, but it does. It adds a new rhythm to everything already moving in her body. Frank manages to pull her back to stare into his eyes again.

"How badly do you want me to cum inside you?" He grunts, his jaw clenched.

"Please." She whines desperately.

"You want me to get you pregnant? Fill you up? Go downstairs and throw out your birth control?" He moans. He's moving his hips so fast now that Mel worries his janky IKEA bed might go through the shoddy ceiling of his apartment.

It's the first time Frank has ever mentioned this to her, getting her pregnant. In the year they've dated, it hasn't properly come up. Frank has worked with her enough in the ED to know how much she loves kids and she's spent enough time with Tanner and Penny that he knows how good she is with them. But Frank hasn't asked her if she's thought about having a kid of her own, maybe because he's a little afraid of the answer. Mel likes the idea, in theory, but she isn't sure if she needs another life to be responsible for. However, the longer she's spent time with Frank, the harder is not to imagine a little mini him running around.

So she nods at him, knowing he'll probably not really go and trash her birth control. "Yes, Dr Langdon." She hums. "Get me pregnant." She continues, out of breath. Frank doesn't last another second. He lets out a straggled, desperate sound, almost like he's in pain, as he shoots off inside her. Mel swears she can feel it in her back, that's how hard he spills into her.

Mel collapses against him, letting her head rest in the crook of his neck. He leans down and nuzzles his nose against her, still, partially at least, inside her.

"You okay?" He whispers. He sounds innately vulnerable again, like he's terrified at the idea that he might have done anything wrong. She moves her head to try and look at him. "Am I okay?" She laughs. "That was…amazing." She grins, breathless.

Mel lets his slip out from inside her as she looks up at him, curling around the side of his body. He's frowning and looks a little distant. Fuck. She thinks. I've fucked up.

"Did you not like it?" Mel asks, trying not to sound emotional.

Frank sits up a little and looks at her, pursing his lips. "I like that it made you feel good." He shrugs. "It's not my preferred way of having sex with you. Talking to you like that. I just wanted to give you what you wanted." He says, shaking his head.

"I thought you would like it." Mel says, confused.

Frank puts his left hand up against his face. He sighs, then looks at her. "I just like connecting with you. I like saying sweet things to you, I like making sure you're OK. I don't want to be an asshole with you. I don't really like that about myself." He admits.

"I'm sorry." Mel says, her voice definitely sounding a little shaky. "I don't think being an asshole and being a little cocky are the same thing, though." She adds, unable to hold eye contact with him now.

He reaches out to run his hand across her jaw, but doesn't force her head up to look at him. "It's that I love you, so much. I want to be someone worthy of you. I have to work hard every day…to be good. To pay for my mistakes. It comes so naturally to you, being good is who you are." He says, quietly, running his thumb in soft strokes over her jaw.

"You are good. That's my whole point." She says, finally looking at him. "You're good at being a doctor, and being a dad. You're good at being my boyfriend and good with Becca and very good at sex. I know you feel like you have to pay for your mistakes forever, Frank, but you don't." She frowns, threading her eyebrows together.

Frank eyes begin to well up, as he lets his lips rest against her forehead. They sit like this for what feels like a very long time.

"Maybe we can find a happy medium. You know, between being too sweet and too cocky." He finally says, a small laugh creeping out from him.

Mel smiles and nods. "I would like that." She confirms. "Sorry if I pushed too hard about it earlier."

He reaches out for her, pulling her body against him so he can spoon her so she's facing the wall that the bed is up against.

"Don't be sorry. It's not that I didn't enjoy tonight…I clearly did." He chuckles a little. "You just have to let me be sweet to you after, if we're going to do that again." He adds, rubbing his hand along her arm.

Mel smiles at the wall. "Deal." She whispers as she feels him smile against her neck and throw his leg over hers.

She considers it again, this idea that there's a Frank and there's a Langdon. That's he's had to separate those two parts of himself. And maybe it's true, that the two are separate beings who rarely converge. But she's met them both tonight. And she thinks, for her, they can finally be one.