Work Text:
“Alright, chat, that’s a wrap for today!” Liu Xiao hears the blonde beside him say.
Turning his eyes from the laptop screen to the real thing, he watches Xia Fei’s movements as he closes the stream with some final remarks to the viewers. The two bow and wave goodbye together as they thank the people for watching, and with Xia Fei’s final “See you next time!”, the laptop screen in front of Liu Xiao displays Xia Fei’s profile picture with his English name on top of it, and a text reading “The stream has ended~” below.
As soon as Xia Fei confirms that no one could possibly be watching the two through their camera now, he throws himself dramatically onto the sofa’s backrest behind him and sighs heavily, his eyebrows furrowing. “My god,” he says, voice much deeper and exhausted compared to his high and lively one used in his livestreams, squinting at the man in black fiddling with his coat sleeves beside him. “You came onto my little stream just to put me on the spot?”
Clasping his hands and glancing quickly to the side, Liu Xiao but smiles and feigns innocence. “I just wanted to see how you improve and handle pressure. You did great. Fei-ge, you’re a pro!” he exclaims, giving Xia Fei a not-so-enthusiastic little thumbs up. Still feeling ridiculed, Xia Fei lets out an awkward and forced laugh, along with an evidently sarcastic, “Well, thanks a lot, Mr. client…”
The blonde-purple pair remain on the sofa in silence for a while longer after cutting the cameras. By now, Liu Xiao has already dragged his laptop across the table’s surface to pull it closer to him, and started typing away for some things related to school and work. The soft sound of his fingers clanking against the keyboard, gracefully gliding over to every key needed, fill the room and compensate for the post-stream silence.
Usually, Liu Xiao wouldn’t mind it at all. He’s well aware he isn’t Xia Fei’s first choice when it comes to socializing or communication, and the boy’s done so much for him already (taking care of his stubborn owl, getting it to lose some weight after eating so much because of a certain someone, letting him on his mini livestream…), so he decides to be kind and not push his buttons any further.
But this time around, he can’t help but mind the heaviness of the silence. He hasn’t felt any movement from the spot on the sofa beside him. No bounce to indicate the man in that spot to have reached for anything on the table, no dip for him to have pushed himself further onto the sofa for comfort, no shift to indicate any discomfort— almost as if there’s zero indication of… life.
He tries not to think about it. He knows well that Xia Fei is still there beside him, breathing, even if he may be acting down or being oddly quiet. He might have even just fallen asleep on the spot (’Though… he doesn’t exactly look like a soundless sleeper…’ Liu Xiao thinks to himself.), so everything should be completely fine.
But even with that rational thought in mind, Liu Xiao feels an uncomfortable tug in his chest inciting a feeling for Xia Fei that he… can’t say he’s too familiar with. Concern, perhaps? Worry? Maybe even anxiety? Or, ultimately… Care?
No, that can’t be it. That’d be ridiculous. To actually, genuinely care about the guy you hired to spy on two foreigners just to get information on one of your secret plans. To care about the guy you’ve watched, like… three movies with, maybe had one or two dinners with…… Ridiculous.
…Butttt, solely for decency (because he’s such an amazing~ guest and sponsor), Liu Xiao thinks to strike a conversation.
Adjusting his laptop screen slightly to be able to see Xia Fei’s reflection, Liu Xiao confirms that he is, in fact, still awake and alive, and is just staring… blankly at the ceiling with sealed lips and tired eyes. He turns to the set of blind boxes in front of them, and reaches for one in a purple box.
Twisting his body so that he’s facing Xia Fei, he shakes the box in front of the boy whose eyes now track the item in his hand like a cat following a lazer. “Your livestream may be over, but that doesn’t mean the fun should end as well. Interested in trying your luck again~?”
Liu Xiao notices the little twitch of Xia Fei’s hand resting on the cushion of the sofa they’re seated on. But he seems to decide against his offer quickly, as his hand freezes and his gaze averts to the side once more. Liu Xiao hums under his breath at Xia Fei’s silent refusal. So, he twists his original words a bit just to get a response. “Hm~? Or could it be that Fei-ge’s ‘secret method’ actually turns out to be a… fraud~?” Xia Fei’s head snaps to look at Liu Xiao. Yup, that definitely worked. “Perhaps I should try it out just to confirm? Can’t leave the world following false hopes, now, can I~?”
Before Liu Xiao’s other hand can hold the tab to tear open the box, Xia Fei swiftly snatches the box from his hands and begins his defense. “A-a fraud!? You’re calling me a liar!?!?” Liu Xiao shrugs. “I-I’ll let you know this method has worked for me more times than I can count now! I’ll prove to you it isn’t a fraud—just you watch!”
And so Liu Xiao does. Sitting back in his seat with an amused smile on his face, Liu Xiao watches admires Xia Fei carefully as he begins his method. He closes his eyes and thinks about the Time Angst-Man character he wants to get from this box, shakes the box up and down, left and right, feeling the weight of its contents, takes a deep breath, before stretching his arms wide to the sides with a fierce “Hyah!”. Xia Fei opens the box, and inside it, he finds…
“Haha! I told you! Look, I got the one I wanted— V! Believe me now? Hehe~” Xia Fei, bouncing and wiggling in his seat, holds the figurine of V, the red, mysterious main villain of the most recent season of Time Angst-Man in front of Liu Xiao’s face. Liu Xiao lets out a light chuckle, placing his hand on the mini figurine to push it down slowly. “Fufu, yes, I believe I do~ However, if I may ask…”
“How come this is the one you wanted? I thought you said your stan was Cheng Damiao?”
“Ah, he is!!” Xia Fei replies quickly. “But I like V too! He’s a cool and mysterious character that you can’t help but be drawn to even with the little information we have of him so far! Plus, he’s a really cool shade of red, hehe~! Reminds me a lot of Lǎo—…”
Xia Fei suddenly cuts off his words, but Liu Xiao doesn’t need a continuation for him to understand. His Lǎobǎn, hm? That’s what’s been on his mind, is it?
It’s been almost a year since those incidents. The arrival of those two foreigners that piqued Liu Xiao’s interest, his official meeting with Xia Fei for the purpose of getting information on the two, as well as of past events, and of course, the sudden announcement of that man’s death supposedly caused by a ‘heart attack’.
His name never comes up in any of Liu Xiao and Xia Fei’s occasional conversations. And if it did, it was only because of a slip of the latter boy’s tongue, that the former would simply leave be before continuing. The past is the past, and the future is to be decided carefully by the masterminds.
And Liu Xiao is well aware of the 180 last year’s events did to Xia Fei’s life, though it may not be easy to be identified by the public eye. In fact, he wouldn’t even be surprised if the only reason Xia Fei opted to help him and his owl out was because he had suspicions of him and wanted to investigate further on what actually happened to him. And, for such a stubborn boy like Xia Fei, why wouldn’t he? What else really is there to expect?
But life isn’t so fair, and the good guys can’t always get the win. His questions aren’t things that Liu Xiao will so kindly and without hesitation give him the answer to until the time is right. His plan, ulterior motive, and progress aren’t things he ever thinks to make known, especially not to him.
But right now, seeing the way Xia Fei stares off into nothingness, eyes still fixated on the mini figurine smiling smugly at him like someone else always did before. Right now, bearing the silence meant to cover up the cries of Xia Fei’s soul as he seemingly falls into a void of loneliness. Right now, seeing… Xia Fei…
Liu Xiao can’t help but suddenly feel like he wants to do things different. Wants to avert his plans, do anything to give the boy beside him some reassurance. Do anything to make him happy and glowing again, just like he always was with him.
Liu Xiao can't help but feel like he’s faltering.
Feel like he’s…
‘Everything, up until now… It’s all been going according to plan.
He doesn’t know anything yet. I still have control. Everything is going… perfectly.
So why…
…Why am i wavering?’
wavering • /ˈwāv(ə)riNG/ (adjective/verb)
losing strength, determination, or purpose, especially temporarily
Without a thought, Liu Xiao’s hand travels up to rest on Xia Fei’s shoulder. He doesn't know much about comfort, as he usually just ends up spouting philosophical nonsense (nonsense to others. not to him. he knows what he’s talking about.), but he remembers Vein being particularly physically close with Xia Fei at times. So maybe…
“…What the hell are you doing?” Xia Fei asks with look of mild disgust and confusion.
……Maybe not. “Physical touch is a common method of comfort, is it not? Or perhaps I’ve been mistaken. Feel free to correct me, Fei-ge~ ” Liu Xiao states, instead of sharing his honest answer of: “I have absolutely zero clue but this feeling and instinct are scaring me and it's all your fault.”
Xia Fei cringes. “C-comfort…? Haah, like I need that from you, of all people…” his tone and words are bitter towards the younger man, but he doesn't really do anything to stop him either. If anything, he inches closer, bit by bit with every millisecond that passes by, until their arms bump against each other and Xia Fei’s head rests on the purple-haired man’s shoulder, and the both of them reacquire a familiar warmth that they lost a while ago. It isn’t at all identical, but it isn’t a totally unknown nor uncomfortable one either.
Similar to earlier, the two sit in silence in that same room once more. But this time, things are slightly different. The closeness, the quiet comfort, shifted weight of the silence… Liu Xiao can hear Xia Fei’s heart beating at its natural, relaxed pace, which makes him glad.
But unbeknownst to Xia Fei, his mind continues to spiral at the feeling he felt from simply seeing Xia Fei so… down. The seesaw on which rationality and perfectionism, and his feelings and emotions sit tips towards the latter’s side, and it’s an unbalance that makes his own heart race in fear, as he prays that the blonde won’t realize anything.
But this is all temporary, Liu Xiao thinks.
As soon as the two are separated by walls and Liu Xiao has returned to his own vicinity, he’ll forget that all this happened, the two will see each other as mere acquaintances again, his mind will be cleared of any unimportant thoughts, and will return right onto its proper track.
…At least, that’s what he hopes.
But for now…
Liu Xiao taps on Xia Fei’s shoulder with the hand that’s been resting on it for the past minutes. Xia Fei turns his head around to look up at Liu Xiao, who asks, “Does a movie sound good?”
The older man groans. “Not another horror movie, right…?”
“Is that a no? Hm. Alright. I suppose I won’t be delivery won’t be necessary toni—”
“Wh-what!? W-wait, n-no, no, no! A… a horror movie’s… fine. D-delivery too…… please……” The last word trails off of Xia Fei’s tongue much gently than those prior. His face is painted with a light pink hue in addition to his natural blush from embarrassment of how desperate he must have sounded just now. But Liu Xiao just laughs. It’s no wonder this guy became Vein’s favorite. He’s always so effortlessly funny (and kinda cute too…), Liu Xiao thinks.
“Fufu~ if you say so. You can always hold onto me or hide in my coat if you get really scared~”
“Ugh… get out……”
Liu Xiao reaches for his phone in his pocket and begins searching for food to order, adding it to his cart. He has somewhat of an idea of what Xia Fei may be craving, so it’s no problem.
He hears a noise coming from the man beside him, but can’t make out the words he had said. He hums and tilts his head in question, to which Xia Fei repeats, “…Th-thank you... Liu Xiao.”
Ah… There it is again……
Liu Xiao only hums in acknowledgement, no longer bothering to wipe off the soft, genuine smile printed across his face.