Chapter Text
“I should be there in thirty minutes.”
“Okay. See you in thirty minutes…um…mom.”
Val hung up the phone, flinching at the sound of his father’s voice, “Did you just say I’ll see you in thirty minutes, mom?”
He turned to his dad, dressed up in his mud brown suit, bland in comparison to his normal flashy extravagant self, “Yeah. She’s on her way.”
“I told her not to come.”
“And I told her that was a mistake and she should come.”
Armand tried not to raise his voice, but he used a stern tone with his son, “This is a disaster; do you know what Albert’s going to be like if Katharine comes into this house?”
“He knows she’s coming. He knows what you asked her to do for me.”
“Of course, but he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like any of this.”
Val sighed, “It’s just for one night.”
Armand followed Val as the young man did a walkthrough of the downstairs area. He checked for anything that might have slipped past them. Anything that would incriminate the story he was going to try to pass off as the truth.
“One night? What about the wedding? What about the holidays? What about the baby showers and the birthday parties?”
“By then the truth will have already come out.”
He came across candle shaped like a naked man. How did they miss that? He took it, shoving it into a cabinet in the sitting room.
Armand stood after him in the open double doorway, “Then why are we doing this, Val? It’s tearing Albert and I apart. Do you even realize that?”
“One night. Just to get Barbara’s dad to give us his blessing. Then you can blow the whole charade up. I promise.”
He faced his father eyes pleading. Armand was easy to give in to his son’s pleas.
“All right, all right. Let me warn Albert.”
Val followed him toward the staircase in the front of the large penthouse, Armand giving him a warning glance.
“Dad, I’m coming with you. Maybe I can help.”
Giving up any more of a fight, Armand led the way upstairs to the main bedroom.
Val’s mother, Albert Goldman, normally in drag or in a colorful pastel, was wearing a black tux. His hair, normally fluffed or under a long wig, was combed back.
When he stood from the vanity, he waltzed towards them, ruining the otherwise pretty good illusion.
“Why are you two looking at me like that?”
“You look great, Albert,” Armand assured him.
“Yeah, just stay seated,” Val offered, earning a glare from each of his parents.
“I don’t see why you want to marry this girl if her parents aren’t accepting people,” Albert complained, collapsing onto the edge of his bed.
“Barbara isn’t like them. She knows about you two. She knows everything. About your performances, about the club. She knows me. It’s just that her father and mother wouldn’t accept the marriage.”
Albert waved a limp wrist at him, “You’re both old enough to speak for yourselves, they can’t stop you from getting married.”
“They’re young enough that they’ll try to,” Armand knew, and said so.
Val held his hands in a prayer pose, aiming the prayer at his mother, “Albert, are you fully aware of the part you have tonight?”
“Of course, I’m a professional. I have my role on point. I’m the uncle. Uncle Albert.”
Val looked to his father, “Should we make him mom’s brother?”
“Yeah, I prefer not to call him mine.”
Albert sat up in alert, “Mom?”
Armand walked over, kneeling before Albert to place his hands on his knees, “Albert, Katherine is coming over to help.”
“I thought you told her not to come,” he sucked in extra air with a huff.
“I did. But Val really wants her here.”
Albert eyed Val, hurt, “Am I not mother enough for you, Val?”
“How am I supposed to explain why she’s not here?”
“Say Armand is a widow!”
“Barbara has already said I have a mother and a father.”
“I can’t stay if she’s here,” he crossed his arms tightly over his chest, “I won’t.”
“You weren’t even together when I was conceived, were you? It’s not as though he cheated on you with her.”
“That’s out of line, Val,” Armand warned, standing as Albert did.
“Oh, no, no we weren’t yet a couple at the time, no,” Albert started pacing between Armand and Val, glancing at one, and then to the other, “I actually met your father after, yes, true, that may be. But I was never introduced to this elusive woman, even though we happened to be on a date when she came around to tell him she was having his baby. I had to watch them walking together, holding hands on the beach, from a window.”
Val couldn’t help but smile just a little, “You held hands?” he asked his dad.
Albert squealed, “Do you know that she is probably the one woman in the whole world that could steal your father away from me?”
“Albert, she could never,” Armand insisted.
“But then why would you keep her from meeting me?”
“You were so jealous when I met with her to speak about Val when he was just a baby. I didn’t want to upset you.”
“I’m always upset, what’s the difference?”
Val stopped Albert from storming off by stepping between him and the bedroom door, “This is an important night. We’ll have an hour with mom to get everyone acquainted and adapted. Uncle Albert, please, could you just…”
“Ah! He called me uncle! I’m uncle now.”
“That’s the character, remember?” Val grabbed a hold of Albert to calm him down.
Albert leaned into him.
“Could you not call her mom, and could you not call me Uncle, unless you are in the same room as these people you have us performing for, at the very least?”
“The Keeley’s,” Armand reminded.
The doorbell rang.
“Someone’s early,” Armand noted.
“I hope it’s mom,” Val made a beeline for the door, Albert nearly fainting back onto the edge of the bed, had Armand not caught him.
“He’s still calling her mom.”