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But if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes,
Does it almost feel like you’ve been here before?
-Pompeii (Bastille)
“C’mon, Hollander, it’ll be fun!” Bood calls, “Rozy’s doing it.”
“Yes,” Ilya agrees, waving at Shane to sit next to him. “Please, Shane, it will be very fun.”
“Fine,” Shane grumbles. It can’t be that bad, right?
Bood and Wyatt lay out the shots. “Alright, who’s going first?”
“Me!” Ilya raises his hand as if he were a kid in school. “Can I go first?”
“No.” Wyatt said with a smirk and looked at Luca, “I think Haas should go first because he’s the youngest.”
Luca stares at Wyatt in horror, then turns to look at his captain, who looked like he was going to make everyone do bag skates for hours at their next practice. He gulps. “Never have I ever…” Luca glares at Wyatt, “let in five goals in one game.”
Troy and Ilya burst out laughing as Wyatt drinks his shot while looking at the rookie with betrayal written all over his face.
“I’m next.” Harris informs them before Rozanov could even open his mouth, “Never have I ever covered my spare tire with a Green Lantern logo.”
Everyone– yes, even Shane– doubles over in laughter as Wyatt glares all of them down and drinks another shot. “I hate all of you.”
“Is my turn now!” Ilya yells over the new chorus of laughter, “Don’t worry, Hazy. I will not target you like these mean people.” He grins at Shane, “Never have I ever done a sex marathon.” His husband glares at him while they both drink the shot as Wyatt sputters while swallowing and everyone else stares at them with their mouths open.
“I’m almost scared to ask, but…” Luca started, “How long did you guys go on for?”
“Three hours.” Ilya replies with a smug smirk while Shane’s face turns bright red. “Ilya.”
“What?” Ilya shrugs innocently, “Rookie asked, I answer.”
Said rookie seemed to be questioning every single life choice that ended up with him being here, at Bood’s house, playing Never Have I Ever and learning things he never wanted to learn.
“Never have I ever claimed I’m the fastest skater when I’m not.” Shane shoots back, and glares at his husband when he doesn’t drink. Ilya stares right back. “But I am the fastest skater.”
“Stats from the 2022 All-Stars game say otherwise. Now drink.” Ilya pouts but downs a shot. Then he narrows his eyes and says, “Never have I ever drank two shots of vodka and became a horny husband begging for his husband’s cock.”
Shane flushes, “Never have I ever fucked my way through the United States.”
“Never have I ever fumbled with Rose Landry twice.”
“Never have I ever–”
Meanwhile
“I wonder how their marriage works.” Wyatt says as they watch the drama unfold in front of them.
“Same,” Evan tells him. “If Caitlin and I argued like that everyday, I don’t know how I’d survive.”
“Are we uh, gonna stop them?” Luca asks.
“Nope,” Bood replies, popping the ‘p’. It’s really entertaining and funny.
Troy nods in agreement as Roz and Hollander begin arguing about “bird food” and “tuna melts”, whatever that’s about.
“I’m going to stop them.” The young rookie says, seemingly determined to save their marriage.
Harris snorts, “Good luck trying, kid.”
Luca stands up, “NEVER HAVE I EVER PREDICTED HOLLANOV.”
Silence settles in the room as everyone turns to look at Luca, who is immediately embarrassed and sits back down on the couch between Harris and Bood.
Hollander is the first to speak. “What’s Hollanov?”
“I believe it’s, uh, you and Roz’s ship name,” Dillon tells him. “Y’know, like Hollander and Rozanov? Hollanov?”
Shane still looks confused as his husband smiles. “I like that. Don’t you, moya lyubov?”
Shane mutters something no one can make out as Harris says, “It’s actually kinda cute.” and Troy nods in confirmation.
“So, like, is no one going to talk about the fact that our baby Haas claims he predicted Roz and Hollzy would happen?” Bood asks, looking around the group.
“Yeah,” Wyatt agrees, “Luca, when do you think they got together?”
Luca flushes, “Um… 2011?”
“What?”
“There’s no way this kid thinks–”
“Haas, man, I think you got it all wrong.”
“Wait!” Bood shouts, “Everyone, stop. We need to ask the husbands in question.” Everyone turns to look at Ilya and Shane, who were huddled together smiling at their crash out.
“Is what Luca said true?” Bood asks them, and everyone leans in for the answer.
Ilya looks at Shane, who shrugs. “I mean, he’s not that far off.”
“What?”
“Wait, all this time–”
“There’s no way..”
“Wait, seriously?” Luca says, mouth open.
“Mhm,” is all Rozanov says in reply.
“So when did you guys actually get together?” Wyatt asks.
Shane sighs, “Well, it depends on how you look at it. We first met in 2008, started hooking up in 2010, and became exclusive in 2017.”
“God fucking damn,” Bood whistles. “Roz, it took you seven years to lock down Hollander? That would drive me crazy.”
Ilya smirks, “Shane was playing hard to get.”
His husband rolls his eyes, “Ilya, stop. You were playing hard to get too.”
The Centaurs bombarded the two with questions for the next ten minutes, learning new information about their captains.
“Who kissed first?”
“Ilya.”
“Who suggested fucking first?”
“It was Roz, obviously.” Troy tells Wyatt.
“Okay, fine. Who tops and who bottoms?”
Ilya gives them an evil smile. “Shane bottoms and I top.”
“Really?” They all exclaim, “I thought Hollzy would top since the whole, you know,” Dillon waves his arms around, “The whole Canada’s best player thing.”
“Nope,” Ilya informs him as Shane groans and hides his red face in the crook of his husband’s neck.
“Who proposed first?” Luca hadn’t asked his question yet but his eyes were sparkling with interest, as if their answer to his question would change his fate.
“Shane did.” Ilya hummed, kissing Shane on top of his head. “Right after we almost died on the plane. I went home and he proposed.”
Shane smiled up at him and a chorus of “awwww”s echoed around the group. He removed his head from Ilya’s shoulder and looked at Luca pointedly. “Haas. I never asked you, how did you guess we were together in 2011?”
Now it was the rookie’s turn to blush as eight pairs of eyes looked at him. “I… I used to read and write bits of fanfiction, sometimes even draw them. And… since back then it was your first few years on a NHL team– so like everyone was talking about you guys– so there was this small fandom where they shipped you two together, and–”
“You read stories of me and Shane fucking?” Ilya asks him with a knowing smirk.
“What? No!” Luca flusters, “I was like, eleven! I didn’t read that kind of stuff.”
“It okay, Haas.” Ilya says over the poor rookie’s protests, “I always knew you had a little crush on me. I am irresistible. See?” Rozanov points at Shane, “My charm even bagged Canada’s Golden Boy.”
“Stop it, Ilya.” Shane smacks him on the arm, “Even I don’t know how I put up with you sometimes.”
Ilya puts a hand over his heart as if wounded. “What blasphemy, Shane! I’m hurt.”
Hollander furrows his brows and looks at his husband. “Where the fuck did you learn the word blasphemy?”
“Twitter.”
“That checks,” Harris mutters under his breath.
As they all laugh at Luca’s idolization of Ilya and just random shit in general, Shane realizes that yes, this is where he belonged, with the gayest team on the NHL, his husband, and the people around him that he’s proud to call his friends.