Chapter Text
"Sorry, sorry." Louis ducks out of the train doors just before they close behind him. "I'll be there soon, Harry wanted some help with the decorations in his classroom."
"Do you want me to order ahead?" Ruby sighs. "I don't want to be here all alone."
"Yeah, thank you. See you soon."
He weaves his way through the tables in the restaurant, knocking the back of some chairs with his satchel thats heaving with his Grade 7's homework. Louis spots his girlfriend, tucked away at a back table, sitting tall with a tight ponytail and scarlet lipstick.
"Hey." He kisses her quickly, wiping the smear of waxy lipstick he feels lingering on his lips. "Sorry."
"S'okay," Ruby smiles softly. "Harry okay?"
"Yeah, just had to hold one end of the garland for him while he tacked it to the wall. How are you? Good day at work?"
They jump into effortless conversation with the kind of casual ease of an eight month relationship. Louis watches the high slope of her cheekbone carve with the flickering lamp on their table, the way her eyes glint when he suggests dessert. She takes a deep breath after the waiter delivers the chocolate lava cake, her shoulders scrunching a little with nerves.
"I—"
Five thousand possible endings to her sentence run wild through Louis' mind. Pregnant; he imagines them as parents, Ruby effortlessly rocking a screaming bundle of blankets to sleep while he melts down after googling 'newborn high temperature'. Breaking up with you; he finds he isn't as sad as he should be, but buries that thought. Want to be choked; that wouldn't be so bad, he's watched 50 Shades of Grey.
"You know, it's just perfect and I'm being really brave here asking this of you. Louis?"
"Sorry?" Louis cringes. "I, uh, could you repeat that?"
Ruby's eyes flick around the restaurant, clearing her throat. "I said, I, uh, want to peg you."
Louis' jaw drops, a twisted laugh falling from his lips. "Uh, what?"
"Have you seen your arse?" She replies, casually sipping her drink. "It wouldn't have to be a weekly thing or anything."
"Weekly?" He squeaks. "I've never, I mean, I'm not gay?"
Ruby rolls her eyes. "Taking it up the arse does not make you gay."
There's an edge to her voice that makes Louis sit up a little straighter. "Wait, you're actually being serious about this?" He thinks of Harry joining him for lunch, all glowy and flushed after a night and morning spent with his 'friend' Levi. Louis never enquires, figures he should leave the gay things to the gay people; but he thinks it's a good kind of glow."Why?" Louis frowns.
She shrugs. "I was with the girls the other day and we played this game and one of them admitted to it. Feel like it would be hot to be able to have you under me, all whimpery. Plus, your arse. It's just—"
Louis scrunches his face. "I'm not really, can I think about it?"
He decides he will try a finger in the shower later.
"It's just a cock, well a dildo, in a hole. Doesn't mean you'll turn gay or something." Ruby's tone is defensive, almost a little accusatory as they round the corner to her apartment.
"I'm not saying that! It's just—a lot." Louis gestures vaguely with his hands. "I have never considered the possibility of, you know, being fucked. Being the bottom."
"A crime," she replies. "I'm not trying to pressure you, babe, it's just me trying to be honest."
"You're wonderful," Louis tells her truthfully, pressing his lips to hers. "I'll think about it. Promise."
"You staying tonight?"
Louis stutters, "Uh, got a lot of marking, you know?" And, fingering myself. He cringes inwardly. "I'll text you, yeah?" Ruby nods, kissing him goodbye.
〢
He turns on his TV, then turns it off again as he tries to focus on marking. His music is too loud, then not loud enough to drown out his intrusive thoughts. Louis walks into his bedroom, twisting his body in front of the mirror. His arse is round, but he doesn't see the appeal. He flops back onto his sofa, barely able to focus over the noise of his own mind.
"Fuck." He curses to himself, surrendering and throwing his pen down. Louis reaches for his phone, looking over his shoulder as if he expects a rainbow gay parade to burst into his apartment when he presses enter.
Gay porn
"Right, okay," he murmurs. "It's research, educational even." Louis figures he might learn something and make this whole situation easier. Learn from the pros.
He clicks on the first link, glancing around his empty apartment in worry. The two guys are kissing deeply, roaming hands under their clothing. Louis skips ahead, watching the video play in fast motion as he scrolls. A cock being stuffed into one of the men's mouths, one of them on their knees and swiping his tongue across the other's arsehole. He stops fast-forwarding when he sees him slip two fingers into his partner. The receiver is face down, moaning on the bed, rocking back as the other guy twists his fingers deeper. Louis frowns when the guy suddenly moans even louder, the camera angle changing to show his dick dripping onto the sheets.
"There it is," the guy fingering murmurs. "There you go."
Louis rewinds, watching the facial expression of the guy on the bed morph into pure bliss.
"Huh." he breathes out. Louis clears his throat, shifting on the couch and feeling a little hot. The guy on the bed starts begging for the others cock. Louis watches as he edges it in and starts rapidly pumping his hips. The tinny sound of their naked skin slapping seems to echo around Louis apartment, their moans dripping with lust. When his own cock twitches, Louis scrambles to get out of the video; deleting his history. He stares at the peeling paint on his wall, begging it to reveal the word 'no' as a sign for him to decline Ruby's idea, but the thought of her thinking he is homophobic in some way makes him stand defiantly and march to his shower.
The steam clogs the bathroom as he undresses, avoiding looking at himself in the mirror. Louis lets the water warm his body up for a few minutes, before he squeezes some of his body wash onto two fingers. He watches the suds drip off the end, twisting his hand around to examine the digits that are about to be inside of him. Louis leans over, pressing both of his fingers to his hole. He feels nothing, laughing bitterly about the fake-ness of porn. The guy in the video was whimpering before the other guy even got his fingers into him. Louis frowns with determination, inching the tip of one of his fingers in slowly. There's a burn, but no pleasure. He figures there must be something he is missing, Harry always seems very satisfied. Maybe it's girth. Louis presses his other finger to his rim, yelping when the burn intensifies. He tries to push it in further, but it just hurts.
He rolls his eyes, pulling his fingers out and quickly finishing the rest of his shower. Louis wonders about texting Ruby to decline but he doesn't want to seem too closed minded so he reaches for his weed and smokes a spliff instead until his eyes are droopy and he passes out on top of his covers.
〢
"Sorry, did I make you late for your date?" Harry asks. It's an unusually warm afternoon, the pair deciding to sit in the afternoon sun and finish their work for the day.
Louis hums. "Nah, wasn't too bad." He tries to focus on the words on his screen, but the clacking of Harry's painted nails against his keyboard creeps in and makes him think of his shower.
"Ruby well?"
"Yeah."
"Where did you go?"
"Uh." Louis bites his lip. "Don't remember?"
"What's up?" Harry questions. "You're all, I don't know." He waves his hand in Louis' direction.
"S'nothing."
"You can talk to me," Harry encourages. "I'd like to think we are good friends?"
"Yeah," Louis agrees, smiling gratefully at the memory of Harry saving him the year before on his first day at the school; gracefully giving him a quick tour after he was thrown into the deep end with barely any information from HR.
"So? Trouble in your heterosexual paradise?"
Louis scoffs, laughing. "No!" It's squeaky and entirely unconvincing.
"Tell me, I don't want to be doing this anyway." Harry closes his laptop, folding his hands under his chin and listening intently.
Louis sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. "She, uh, told me something."
Harry tilts his head.
"Shewantstopegme," he rushes out. The afternoon sun feels like it burns his skin once the words leave his mouth.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"I mean, finally? Been waiting ages for someone to appreciate your arse like it should be." Harry laughs lightly.
Louis frowns.
"Wait, is this like a problem for you?"
"Not in like a gay issue way!" Louis defends himself. "It's just, like, a lot, you know!"
"You'll be fine," Harry affirms. "Might even have some fun."
"I trie—" Louis stops short, realising he what he was about to confess. "I don't know."
"You tried?" Harry catches Louis' half sentence.
Louis inhales deeply, trying to calm his racing heart. "In the shower last night. It hurt."
"It might for a little bit, but once you're used to it…" Harry trails off.
"I tried!" Louis grits out. "I'll just tell her no, please forget this ever happened." His face must show his hesitation, his fear that Ruby will declare him as close minded.
"What if you just need some…practice?" Harry suggests. "You know, like, a test run. So that you know what to expect with Ruby?"
"That's what I did?" Louis frowns.
"No, like, I mean," Harry clears his throat. "With someone."
Something coils up Louis' spine at Harry's words. "No, I'm not cheating on her," he hisses.
"It's not cheating!" Harry stresses. "It's… practicing. Like a transactional thing. Barely anything more than jacking off without her there."
Louis shakes his head, starting to pack up his laptop. "Harry, no, I'm not doing that. Even if I did, who is going to practice pegging me?"
"Me?" Harry says, his voice squeaky and shaking. "I mean, I'm a friend. I'm gay, you're straight, it's better than trying to find another woman to practice pegging you?"
"I…no!" Louis yelps. "It's fine, I'll figure something out. Maybe she can start just fingering me or something."
"You tried that, remember?" Harry gently reminds him. "Plus, do you know about all the other stuff? I can help you. Crash course in bottoming or whatever."
〢
Louis is just arriving home from Ruby's apartment when Harry texts. He went there on Friday after abruptly leaving his conversation with Harry. They'd had takeout, Louis fucked her and slept over before dragging himself home to get some work done. She hadn't mentioned the pegging, but he spotted a sizeable dildo tucked in her draw, a strap peeking out from below. The thought of it inside of him briefly crosses his mind, the echo of the guys desperate moans from the porn he watched flitting through his ears.
Harry: Here's a good article about prepping
Harry: [link]
Harry: Not pressuring, just a suggestion to take a look if you're still thinking about it
Harry: Not even the whole ~practice~ thing, just even with Ruby
Truth is, Louis left the conversation open. Not a yes, but definitely not a no. Harry rushed an apology when Louis got up from the sunny table but told him the offer would still be there if he needed. His eyes bug out at the description of douching and the mention of something called poppers to 'keep you loose'.
"It's too much, Harry," he rushes out as soon as Harry answers his phone. "I don't know where to start."
"So? You're doing this?" Harry questions.
"I don't want to disappoint her," Louis states.
"Truly, Louis, if you don't want to, you should feel secure enough to say no. Don't let her pressure…"
"She's not!" He interrupts. "I just, I, uh, watched some stuff, you know? And, I don't know, they were so, and I'm intrigued, okay?"
"You're curious?" He can hear the smile in Harry's voice.
"Don't tease me. It's, like, a sometimes kind of thing. I think. She said it wouldn't be weekly. Maybe if we try it once, and it's awful, we can all move on and live happily ever after."
"When do you want me to fuck you then?"
Louis inhales sharply, choking on some saliva. "Jesus, Harry. It's not—"
"Yeah, yeah, practice."
"Are you free today?" Louis cringes. "I mean, I haven't, I don't, prep or whatever."
"Have you, you know, been to the bathroom today?" Harry asks.
Louis squeaks out a no.
"Just, go, and if you haven't got, tummy trouble, we will be okay. Take a shower, finger yourself if you want to be sure. I'll be over later. Breathe, Louis. We will be okay."
〢
"Hey," Harry says when Louis opens his door. His curls are damp and brushing the collar of his shirt, unbuttoned and barely grazing the waistband of his jeans.
"Hi," Louis replies, nerves curling through him.
"Breathe."
Louis tries, feeling shaky and unstable.
"Lets, just, relax a little, yeah?"
Harry's eyes flick toward Louis' container of joints. "Might help you relax a little."
Later, Louis is sprawled over his couch, watching Harry animatedly tell a story of the kittens he saved from crossing the road on his way here.
"You're okay?" Harry inquires after finishing his story.
Louis nods, lighter and a little hazy. "Think so."
"Did you, you know? Do the stuff?"
Raw reality hits Louis, he sits up a little straighter and tries to blink the fog away. "Uh, yeah. I hope so."
"We'll be okay. Do you want to, you know, set any rules?"
"I just want it over with," he admits. "You're still okay? Will we still be friends after this?"
"Yeah, I think so," Harry smiles. "It's just practice, remember?" He inches closer to Louis. "Do you, like, want me to pretend to be Ruby?"
Louis closes his eyes and nods, figuring if he tricks his brain into thinking it's Ruby, he will feel less guilty. Lips graze his own, soft and unsure and a little cracked. Just a press, then another. 'Ruby's' lips part slightly, tongue softly swiping along Louis' bottom lip. He lets his lips be worked open, tangling their tongues together. The illusion is broken when Harry exhales softly, a small but deep moan getting caught in his throat. Louis' eyes fly open, pulling back a little.
"Hey, you're doing good. Try and sink into it, yeah? It'll be worse if you're all tense." Harry thumbs along Louis' cheekbone. "Relax. I want you to come first, then we will do it. Close your eyes, let me make you feel good."
Louis sinks boneless into his couch as Harry's lips sink over the tip of his cock. It's still a little flaccid but he makes quick work of pressing his tongue hard into the spot right under the head. Louis' hips jump up and Harry gags. He finds himself thinking it was a sexy sound. He tries thrusting again, inching his eyes open to watch Harry sink down further. His lips are pink and stretched around Louis' cock, hands resting behind his back. Louis curses silently, heat rolling through him as Harry wraps his hand around the spit slick base of his cock and starts twisting his hand where his mouth cannot reach.
"Fuck," Louis moans. "That feels so-o good." Harry nods his head, blinking lazily at Louis with his mouth still stuffed full of Louis' length. A bright spark of pleasure rocks Louis at the sight. "Gonna—" He warns, his orgasm curling at the base of his spine. Harry takes him further, the wet heat of his throat sending him over the edge. Louis climaxes hard with a loud yelp and electric zings dancing on his skin. Harry swallows around him, Louis letting his head fall back as he is left panting.
"Good?" Harry questions, his voice hoarse.
Louis doesn't trust his voice, so he just nods.
"You okay to continue?"
"Yeah," he whispers, half-lidded eyes watching Harry take off his shirt and unbutton his jeans; exposing the long lines of his muscled body, etched with dark tattoos.
"I'll finger you a bit to open you up then fuck, I mean, peg you." Harry says. "Might be better if you're on your hands and knees. Please tell me to stop, at any point, if it's too much, okay?"
"Okay," Louis agrees, arranging his floppy limbs to throw himself over the back of the couch. "This okay? My arms are all loose, don't know what you did to me. Never come so hard before."
Harry laughs. "You're welcome. Fuck, look at your arse."
"Shut up." Louis buries his head into his arms, feeling more embarrassed than nervous or guilty.
"Even if it is this one time, I'll treasure this sight forever."
"Harry," Louis grits out, trying to sound unaffected. Heat builds at the base of his spine, butterflies in his belly.
"Sorry, lube might be a little cold." Harry softly presses a kiss to Louis' shoulder as he grazes his fingers along the cleft of Louis' arse. Goosebumps rise over his entire body when Harry's fingers sweep over his hole, the sensation feeling more pleasurable than when he did it.
"Okay?" Harry questions.
Louis nods silently, fighting his bodies urge to push back as Harry presses lightly. He presses the tip of his finger in, rubbing his other hand in comforting spirals over Louis' spine. "You're doing good. Is this burning?"
"A little," Louis admits. "Not bad."
"Good." Harry edges more of his finger in, the burn subsiding into a firey kind of arousal that spreads through Louis' body. "That's one." He lets Louis get used to it, thrusting it in and out slightly. A whimper gets caught in Louis' throat. He tenses and swallows it down. "You're okay, try to relax," Harry whispers. "Going to do another. Might burn more." He starts by pressing the other to Louis' rim, putting pressure. Another hot spark dances up Louis' spine. He works his other finger in, almost torturously slow. Again, he lets Louis feel the fullness for a little bit before gently moving. Louis feels him stretch his fingers, twisting them. He grazes a spot and Louis' cries out in raw pleasure.
"W-whatthefuck?" Louis yelps, his voice breaking into a desperate moan.
"Got it." He can hear the grin in Harry's voice. "That is your prostate. Good, yeah?"
"Y-eah!" Louis squeaks when he presses into it harder. Harry fucks his fingers in and out harder, rolling with Louis' hips which are bucking against the movement.
"Fuck you're tight," Harry rambles. "Doing so good for me. Gonna give you my cock now, yeah?"
Louis doesn't try to reply, just nods desperately into his elbow and mouths at his skin in some sort of self-soothing motion. He arches into the emptiness when Harry removes his fingers, flinching a little at the sound of the condom wrapper. He feels the tip of Harry's dick press against him, a hot and heavy pressure.
"All okay?"
"Please." Louis surprises himself at the desperation in his voice.
Harry grips his hips, working his length into Louis. The stretch burns, a thick foreign feeling. "Look so good taking all of me," he babbles as he pistons his hips in shallow thrusts. Louis moans when he changes his angle and catches the edge of his prostate.
"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me," Louis begs, rocking backwards needily. He thinks of the guy in the porn video he watched and reaches for his cock. He finds it leaking and hard, gasping at the dual pleasure as he wraps his hand around the tip. Louis twists his hand around the wet tip, digging his thumb into the slit as Harry fucks him. His orgasm overtakes him with a loud, broken moan, spilling over his hand and slamming his hips back onto the length of Harry.
"Shit," Harry curses, curling over Louis' back. He moans as Harry continues to work into him, his hips stuttering as he chases his release. Harry orgasms with a muffled moan into the skin of Louis' shoulder, collapsing onto his back. Louis is breathless, folded over the back of his couch with his friends dick still deep inside of him.
"You okay?" Harry whispers, making Louis cringe at the tacky skin between them as he pulls out.
Louis turns to lay properly on the couch, watching Harry's naked arse walk toward the kitchen to dispose of the condom. His orgasm haze makes him wonder what it would be like to fuck Harry. "I, uh, thank you?" He cringes, reaching for his boxers. "That was…thank you."
Harry pulls his own underwear back on, sitting a little awkwardly on the couch. "You're okay, yeah?"
Louis hums. "I… think so. A lot to think about."
Harry smiles, maybe a little sadly. "Yeah, I think you do have a lot to think about. I'll see you next week at school, yeah?" He dresses silently, throwing his tote bag over his shoulder. "Text me if you need anything."
Louis smiles weakly. "Yeah."
He has a lot of thinking to do.