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“Don’t-”
You whispered to the man beside you, fingers clutching his wrist. It was a futile attempt, you were aware of that, but you had asked him beforehand not to touch you in front of your friends. Yet here you were, a small pout on your lips and a pleased smile on his.
You noticed the girls snickering, trying to go unnoticed. Like they didn’t know you well enough to know that you’d always catch up on those little details. You couldn’t blame them though, not after you were the one who told them he was your boyfriend.
He kept talking to their boyfriends, describing his latest purchase, a motorcycle he couldn’t help but brag about. His eyes gleamed, and you weren’t sure if it was from his conversation or the fact that he was holding you as if you were his. And the others simply smiling, accepting this display of affection as something normal, might have also been a reason.
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
You had heard Sukuna’s name before. He had that kind of reputation. Maybe you knew a bit more than just his name. It’s not exactly your fault, your new friends from college enjoyed gossip (so did you) and every good gossip session with them had to include some sort of update about him.
Either he headbutted someone after they had stared at him for too long at a party, or simply discussing his... appearance, his name found itself being mentioned more than strictly necessary at your chats.
You had also seen him, a couple of times, and you realized you had the bad habit of letting your gaze settle on him when he wasn’t looking. Those were the effects of being the kind of guy you wouldn’t dare talk to, you tried to reason, of course he’d catch your attention. Walking around campus, horrifying and imposing, that was on him.
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
You wouldn’t have been in that party under normal circumstances. You barely knew anyone there. The only reason you were there was because one of the guys who was organizing it apparently had interest in getting to talk to you. He was nice, he really was, but your chest felt tight in a way you couldn’t understand, so you excused yourself with a polite smile.
That’s how you found yourself standing outside, regretting even coming. You thought your awkward ass could have a normal conversation with a guy who showed some interest?
You stared at your phone, your friend’s text from 6 minutes ago promising to arrive soon sitting unread. According to your calculations, it’d take a good 15 more minutes. Maybe having gulped down on an entire drink in such a short span of time hadn’t been a great idea, because you eventually rushed back inside. And to your dismay, the bathroom was occupied. You waited, patiently, but when you knocked again and only heard something resembling to puking, you stepped back.
It clicked in your mind, the bathroom downstairs. You squeezed through sweaty bodies before finding it. You sighed with relief when you entered the long corridor leading to it, no one was there. With a hazy smile on your lips, you opened the door.
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You sat on his lap as he rolled a strand of your hair between his fingers. He hadn’t said anything in a while, and that was worse than when he talked pure filth. There was sound coming from the kitchen, your friends cleaning the dishes and laughing about something. What you’d give to be there with them.
“Lost in thought again?”
You glanced at him.
“Kind of”
He sighed then patted your thigh.
“Up”
You did as you were told and watched him enter the house. You heard him talking to the rest, saying that he had to take you back because you were already too tired. You weren’t.
Jane peeked through the door, looking at you with a half-smile and wiping her hands against her shorts. She walked up to you and pulled you into a hug. You relaxed into it.
“You know I’m so glad you came. We haven’t seen each other since college started”
She mumbled into your shoulder.
“Please, please, keep in touch. Kay?”
You patted her back and reassured her. Sukuna shook Max’s hand before coming up to you two. With a small nod to Jane he took your wrist and pulled you with him. You waved back, your hand felt weak.
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
The light was bright, much too bright for your liking. You closed the door and... stopped dead in your tracks. The sight of Sukuna glaring at you was deathly enough, but to see him thrusting into a girl's mouth was more than someone should have to ever deal with.
You stared in horror (and embarrassment) as she kept on going, nor did he push her away.
“Get lost, slut”
That was enough to have you moving on autopilot. Heart hammering against your chest and that familiar tightness creeping back in. You left the corridor, hell, you were back in front of the house in less than a second. Why were you the one out of breath? It should be them who felt ashamed for being such sluts! And he had the audacity-
A honk startled you. Your roommate motioned for you to get the fuck in, so you did.
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
You never told anyone about what you saw. Would it have been a great source for more debates? Probably. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. This was officially a taboo topic for you.
You tried your best to avoid him. A spark of pink hair in your periphery and you were fleeing the building. You shouldn’t be acting like this. It was his fault, it really was, and that girl’s, who seemed too eager to be sucking on his... Your professor skipped to the next slide and you continued writing down on your notebook.
Two weeks later, a guy with dark hair had cornered you when you were trying to leave.
“Come on, it’s like a much smaller thing. We’re just gonna go bowling. And maybe get some drinks after”
“But-”
“And we all saw that you were into him. And he’s into you too, you know?”
You raised your brows. There was no point in interrupting him.
“You two just didn’t get to talk much last time. I get it, big party and all. Barely anyone you know”
He looked at you with a pleading smile.
“You can even bring a couple of your friends. You friends with that tall one, right? Maybe you could introduce me to her...”
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
Everyone was having such a good time, you were truly jealous. Everyone except you, and maybe the guy next to you who was trying (and failing) to fill the silence. You were sorry for him. But you also couldn’t function properly after the moment you realized that when the black-haired guy was talking about his friends he was referring to Sukuna.
A pair of green eyes were subtly glancing at your profile.
“That’s how I won so many tickets. We got so much stuff with them. I have even more saved up, though. And I could get you that pink plushy, bet you’d like it, with all that pink you wear.”
He chuckled lightly and you smiled as you looked down at your shoes.
“You really are a shy thing, aren’t you?”
“It’s just... I’m quite tired. I didn’t get much sleep”
You slept for 8 hours.
“Yeah? Because you always seem like that when I talk to you”
Touché. Across from where you were seated, you could see him. He hadn’t looked at you a single time during the evening. For some reason, you felt blatantly ignored. Even if there was a constant influx of attention from your side. You wish you could appreciate it.
“The reason is up for you to decide”
You look at him.
“Be right back, I’m going to the bathroom”
“Sure, see ya later”
And with that you stood up, rounded a corner and stood there, trying to catch your breath. You stared outside, the cinema right ahead showed a new movie you had been meaning to watch. And the reviews you had read were glazing it, it was definitely worth a chance.
That was when you noticed some movement. You froze, staring at him as he was about to walk past you. However, he slowed down his movements. You waited for the moment to be over, for him to leave you behind, but that never came. He stared down at you and suddenly you regretted every time you had wished for him to acknowledge the awkwardness. He had that look in his eyes, it told you that he could cause you harm. You just never thought he actually would.
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
You woke up disorientated, head impossibly heavy. You touched your hair, which was all tousled, and you were completely naked, unsurprisingly. Then you noticed the soreness, the stickiness, and you just wished to wash those feelings away.
Memories began to flood your mind, all of them blurry.
He had pulled you to the bathroom, pushing you into a stall. His hands were rough and unforgiving, like you had personally offended him. Then you were struggling to take him in your mouth, tears running down your cheeks.
“Crying now? You looked ready to take it all back there”
Suddenly you were pulled up, a few slaps on your cheek to ground you down, and he led you outside. The ride was eerie, music playing while a hand kneaded your thigh. He opened the door to his apartment with one hand while he texted someone with his other.
That’s right. You reached the end of the bed with a sigh and noticed your purse lying on the ground. You found your phone.
“Sukuna told the guys that you were feeling sick :( Get better babe <3”
Your body was utterly spent. He wasn’t nice, you didn’t expect him to be. But at least that instant when your vision went white, you were able to drown him and focus on the fact that it felt tolerable. But after so much time, it didn’t even feel nice. You could only sob.
“Is that the only thing you know how to do, whore? Being pathetic?”
He laughed, stopping only to lick your cheek.
“Don’t- call me that”
You spit out. He slowed down.
“And why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I’m not one”
He stilled, looking down at you as if you had said something absurd. You were so tired that the moment you were granted some stillness your eyes immediately closed. He went back to thrusting in and out, but he never called you that again.
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
You looked out the window the majority of the ride. Sukuna kept his gaze focused on the road, tapping the wheel when a song that he liked began playing.
“Quit sulking”
“I have reasons to do so”
He sighed, like you were some toddler that was causing a scene for no reason. You’ve been feeling like that a lot lately.
“I’ll give you a reason to complain, then”
He said sternly and looked ahead. That was the last straw. You felt tears well up, hot and angry. He noticed your sniffling and rolled his eyes.
“Dramatic much”
His hand found your hair and he patted it awkwardly. You felt dizzy all of a sudden. He always laughed when you broke down, making sure to rub it in your face. This wasn’t fair, why would he act like that now?
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
He promised you’d watch Spirited away, like an adult negotiating with a kid. Great, that made you feel so much better. It did at least make your night a bit more tolerable. Of course, you only got to watch the first half before you were on your back against the couch, unable to focus on it.
“It’s either the movie or me, can’t have both”
He chuckled, but the sound turned into a groan.
“What’s up with you anyway? I let you meet your friends and you get all sad, like an ungrateful little b...”
He slowed down for a moment, and you tried to catch your breath, wiping a few stray tears with the back of your hand.
“You know what I mean baby, I don’t get why you react like that”
You closed your eyes, you hated him even more when he acted this way. If he had kept giving a fuck about you, you’d have no problem hating him. He was a monster, a rapist who spat on your face when you dared call him that.
“S-shut up...”
He pressed his forehead to your collarbone.
“You don’t get to tell me that”
His grip on your waist tightened.
“But fine, we’ll talk about it later. If that’s what you want”
⛧°.⋆༺♱༻⋆.°⛧
Later eventually came. He was still inside you (when wasn’t he?) as you laid on top of him. You tried to keep up with the ending of the movie while his hand ran up and down your spine.
“What was the guy’s name, again?”
“Haku”
“Right”
Silence.
“They all acted like it was normal”
He shifted under you.
“What are you talking about?”
“My friends. They saw you all over me and no one batted an eye”
“Doesn’t that tell you something?”
He smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead.
“That you managed to fool them? Yeah”
He flicked your head.
“I didn’t do shit, you on the other hand...”
You tried to get up, but he pressed you back down.
“Shh, don’t move. Look, I’ll keep my hands to myself next time. Not fully, but maybe tone it down a bit”
You didn’t know whether to believe it. Knowing him, he could just be messing with you for his own pleasure. But you didn’t complain. You just laid there, feeling his hand against your back, and the realization came to you right then and there. He’d never let you go, because even if it was in the most messed up and damaging way, he loved you.