Work Text:
Ilya Hollander ❤️
August 22, 3:18 PM
I have a complaint to file with HR
What?
This is the second month in a row I haven’t received a paycheck.
It’s unacceptable, Hollander.
I want to file a complaint.
😑
Wasn’t aware I still needed to pay you when you’re now a co-owner on all my accounts.
You know.
Because we’re MARRIED.
I’m going to tell the whole world.
Imagine what they will say when I tell them Shane Hollander fucks over his employees both literally and figuratively.
For fuck’s sake.
You’re not my manny anymore.
You’re my husband.
🥹
Are you about to get really emotional again because I called you my husband?
YES.
Okay, well, before you do that, how’s Violet?
She’s good. Playing in the backyard with Anya.
And you’re taking her to the vet tomorrow?
I don’t know what the vet is going to do for your daughter, but I can certainly take her if that’s what you want.
ANYA.
😉
Yes, I’m taking her in at 8.
Okay.
And hey.
Violet is yours, too, you know.
It may not be exactly the same, but it counts just as much.
You’re just as important.
Thank you, husband ❤️
That means a lot.
❤️
I’ll see you tonight?
Yes, husband.
I’ll make dinner for you, husband.
And then I will fuck you until you cry, husband.
Incredible. No notes.
But.
How long am I going to have to put up with you calling me husband at the end of every sentence?
Well, you’re stuck with me for the rest of your life, so at least until then.
That’s what I figured.
But I will probably haunt you in the afterlife, too, so.
Prepare for that.
I’d expect nothing less.
August 23, 10:11 AM
How’d it go at the vet?
Is she healthy?
Well.
Funny story.
?
Is she okay?
We’ll spend whatever we need to.
Oh, no.
It’s nothing like that.
Though, I will be saving that text to use against you later mister ‘we don’t need a dog.’
Then what’s wrong?
Well, it turns out Anya had a lot of fun before she came to us.
Like a lot of fun.
What?
Congrats!!!! You’re going to be a grandfather 👴
I’m sorry, what?
Anya is pregnant.
We’re going to have PUPPIES!!
Four of them!!!!
PUPPIES.
Oh, fuck my life.
Seriously?
You would manage to bring home a pregnant dog.
Couldn’t you have found a responsible stray?
You had better not be judging her, Shane Hollander.
Do I need to remind you how Violet came to be?
Okay. That’s fair.
My apologies to Anya.
You know we’re not keeping the puppies, right?
We’ll discuss it later.
We’re not keeping the puppies, Ilya.
Let me live in my delusion for a couple of hours at least, Shane.
Fuck, Violet is going to get so attached to them.
This is going to be a nightmare.
She will be fine.
Plus, by the time the puppies leave, you’ll be travelling all the time, so I will have to deal with most of the emotional fallout.
Oh.
Yeah, you’re right.
It’ll be fine then.
Thank god.
I’m so awkward when she gets super upset.
Sure.
That is the only time you’re awkward.
Fuck you.
Love you.
See you soon.
August 28 9:47 AM
You remember the parent meeting tonight at the school?
Mom will be there at 5 to watch Violet.
Sounds good.
And you promise you’ll be on your best behavior?
I really want to make a good impression since it’s a new school and all.
I will try not to be insulted by that.
As if my behavior is anything other than best.
Ilya.
Yes, yes.
I will lay low.
Smile pretty at the other parents, and judge them in my head and not out loud like I want to.
Perfect.
And then I will text you all about it.
Can’t wait.
I hate that I can’t be there.
I know.
But I am here, and I will take care of things.
You always do ❤️
Now go take pretty pictures with watches, and be sure you show them my ideas about diamond dog collars.
They are really missing out on an underserved demographic.
That underserved demographic being you?
Exactly.
Love you
Love you, too.
August 29 1:19 PM
Ilya.
Why am I seeing posts on the parent Facebook group about ‘Hollander for School Council President’?
I can explain.
It’s not my fault.
It’s Jeanette’s fault.
Who the fuck is Jeanette?
She made some ignorant comment about fathers not being involved, and I obviously had to prove her wrong.
Okay, that is annoying.
Fuck you, Jeanette.
But did you have to prove your point like this?
There’s people offering to make campaign signs for you?
Some woman already has a button made.
Yes, because they all also hate Jeanette.
Her reign of terror has to end.
So much for laying low.
It’s not that much.
I just have to coordinate all school events, community outreach, teacher appreciation, and deal with parent complaints and concerns.
Nothing to it.
It will all be fine!
That’s what I’m afraid of.
But I guess this could be good.
Violet will be excited to have you around school, I’m sure.
She seems nervous about starting.
She’s had a lot of change in the past year.
But once she settles in, she’ll be perfect.
She is perfect.
Yeah, she is ❤️
Glad you’re helping me raise her.
She’s so much braver because of you.
I still say that’s all you, my love.
But I will show her I can be brave by taking Jeanette down once and for all, freeing the elementary school from her evil clutches.
Our hero.
Will you help me with campaign signs?
Not a chance.
September 13, 9:58 PM
I miss you.
I miss you, too.
Is Violet doing okay without her Papa?
Yeah, but I didn’t make her sandwich the correct way for dinner, so she was pretty pissed at me before I put her to bed.
I dared to put the cheese on before the meat.
You are a monster.
Are you having fun with the WAGs?
We are at some club in Manhattan.
It’s been fine.
They changed it to WHAGs, btw.
Wives Husbands and Girlfriends.
What if someone has a boyfriend?
I don’t know.
They were three drinks in when they came up with it.
Their hearts are in the right place.
They?
Are you not drinking?
I thought you were the life of the party.
No.
I figured they deserved a chance to let loose, so I am staying sober and keeping an eye on all their drinks for them while they dance.
Of course you are ❤️
You’re too good for all of us.
Your boring has rubbed off on me.
I just want to be home curled up with you in bed.
I sleep like shit when I’m away from you.
That’s like half the year.
Exactly.
Seems silly to waste what little time I have.
I know, baby.
I still want you to have a good time.
I am.
These women are all lovely, and welcoming.
It’s been nice get to know them.
But I would still rather be home with you.
Which, like I said.
Boring ❤️
You’ll be home tomorrow.
And I think you were already a little boring when we met.
I’m sure taking care of kids full-time can do that to you.
Yes, but you made me want to stay in the boring forever.
What have you done to me, Shane Hollander?
I don’t know.
Hope it’s not too much of a problem whatever it is.
Oh, it’s a huge one.
But I hope it never goes away.
I can promise you it won’t.
❤️
September 15th 7:56 PM
Just got off the phone with Rose.
She was wondering if you might be willing to fly with Violet down for the long Thanksgiving weekend?
She said she’s able to work her filming schedule around that time, but won’t be able to visit again for three or four months, so she was hoping we could make that work.
Sounds terrible.
😑
Ilya.
What?
Of course I will do it for Violet.
But a whole weekend with your baby mother is not exactly on my bucket list.
Ew.
God.
Don’t call her that.
That’s almost as bad as you telling my parents we were lovers the first time you met.
I stand by that word choice.
I don’t care what you say.
Tell that to the nightmares I still have about it.
But anyway, it’ll be fine.
Rose loves you.
And I think you really like her, too, despite this act you insist on.
Who is acting?
I am not acting.
She slept with my husband.
Oh my god.
It was before you even knew me!
We were both drunk.
And I’m GAY.
We’re MARRIED.
Details.
Extremely important details you seem hell bent on overlooking.
What if I rent a jet and fly you both private? Would that make it any more bearable?
Shane.
That is a gross display of your wealth.
You ultra rich. Always flaunting your status.
Baby.
I’m going to hold your hand while I tell you this.
You’re ultra rich now, too.
😧
Like you didn’t spend all last week trying to convince me a Lamborghini was a family car.
Two people is a family, Shane!
Well, I am more than happy to get you tickets in coach on a commercial flight if you would rather keep your principles intact.
No, no.
It is fine.
We all have burdens in life.
Being rich is one of mine, now.
We will take the private jet to visit my mortal enemy, Rose Landry.
You’re incorrigible.
😘
September 23, 3:07 PM
Remind me why I thought it was a good idea to spend an entire day with my parents, again?
Like I love them. So much. But I think lunch would have been plenty.
How’s your day going?
Well, you will need to change my contact name in your phone.
What? Why?
Because henceforth I will only answer to Council President Ilya Hollander.
You won?!
That’s great!
What did Jeanette’s face look like when she found out?
She was so angry.
It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
And I have seen you ass up on our bed begging for my cock, so.
You can imagine how beautiful this was.
Jesus.
Can you not talk about my ass when I’m around my mom?
She has a bad habit of looking at my phone when I text.
Oh, I’m so sorry. Let me make it right.
Hi, Mama!
Your son is a perfect angel who loves vanilla sex!
Better?
Yeah. Perfect, thanks.
What’s your first order of business going to be as council president?
I have so many ideas, but first and most importantly.
We are instituting Pizza Thursday.
Pizza Thursday?
Yes.
These kids need some fun in their lives, and what better way to do that than with weekly pizza?
I mean, I guess trans fat could be fun in a very specific light.
Well, whatever I can do to help just let me know ❤️
This is good because I signed you up to help with the Halloween Dance.
You don’t have a game that night, so don’t worry.
Oh.
Great.
We will wear a couple’s costume.
I will be a sexy Roman Gladiator, and you will be the lion I defeat.
Why do you get to be sexy and I have to be a cat?
Have you seen me?
🙄
I was named the hottest player in the NHL, thank you very much.
Just be glad I got injured when I was young and didn’t make it to the NHL, because then I would have been number one.
Fuck. Can you imagine?
I bet we never would have met.
There’s no way we would have ended up together.
Yes, well.
It’s a good thing I did get injured and you knocked up a movie star and I became your manny instead.
Thank god.
What the fuck would I do without you?
Not wear an amazing couple costume apparently.
But fine, you do not have to be a lion.
We can be different Ken dolls or something.
Why do I have a feeling that’s somehow going to be worse?
October 8, 8:28 AM
I barely got any sleep because of the puppies whining all night long.
And we just got word Troy Barrett is being traded to us.
I’m too exhausted for this shit.
Oof.
I’m not surprised after that video leaked, though.
I figured it was only a matter of time.
Yeah, but why us?
This team has such a great mesh of people, and they’ve been so accepting.
It’s made the whole losing all the time thing a lot more bearable.
I don’t need a fucking homophobe to come in and ruin all that.
I just got away from a sucky situation.
I get that.
But maybe he won’t be so bad?
Or at least he’ll feel the need to hide how horrible he is because everyone else is so great?
He seems to be over Dallas Kent anyway. That’s got to be something.
Fuck, I hope so.
You seemed sad when I left this morning.
I am always sad when you leave.
It’s kind of what happens when you’re in love with someone.
I know, but it seemed more so than usual.
I’m fine, Shane.
Just annoyed to be away from my husband for a week.
Okay ❤️
I’m sad about it, too.
But if you have trouble sleeping, you can always go into the puppy pen and let them cuddle pile you.
🤯
OMG you’re right.
Why have I not thought about this before?
You need to leave more often.
🖕
October 12, 7:22 PM
How was your first day with Rose?
She took us shopping. Insisted on buying me a bunch of clothes. Took us to lunch and dinner and introduced us to her costars and then we played on the beach.
It was terrible.
Sounds like a real nightmare.
It was.
But Violet had a wonderful day, so I would subject myself to this torture over and over.
❤️
And if forced to admit it, I guess you picked a pretty okay person to accidentally impregnate and have a child with.
You know what?
I’ll take that.
Thank you.
And thank you for taking Violet to see her mom.
It means a lot to all of us.
Anytime ❤️
But I will complain about it and pretend that I hated it for many many years.
That’s only fair.
October 20, 8:29 PM
I think Troy Barrett is gay.
Or at least not entirely straight.
What?
The fuck are you talking about?
How much beer have you had?
Only one.
He gets all starry eyed whenever you even so much as look at him.
He definitely doesn’t.
You’re imagining things.
And why are you texting me? I’m in the same room, just come talk to me?
I can’t talk about this out loud!
What if your teammates hear?
Hear your completely whacked assumption?
I think everyone would survive.
Besides, it’s not just you.
He follows Harris around like a lost puppy.
I think he’s in love with him.
There’s no way.
Walk up to him and compliment him.
See what happens. I dare you.
By saying what?
I don’t know.
Whatever hockey players say to compliment one another.
Great job with the puck last night?
I mean, I guess that wouldn’t be a stretch.
He did score two goals last night.
If I do, can we go home afterwards?
I feel like I haven’t seen Violet in days and I’m exhausted from people-ing.
Of course, but if he blushes when you compliment him, I get the first blowjob of the night.
Deal.
Goddammit.
Why are you always right about this stuff?
🍆👅💦🤤
October 25
Violet has changed her mind about what she wants to be for Halloween.
Oh, thank fuck.
Was really starting to panic about how we were going to make the Parliament building work.
What does she want to be?
Please tell me it’s something easy.
You.
Really?
That’s.
Fuck, that makes me want to cry a little bit.
But I’m not sure if it’s entirely from the sweetness of that or just how easy it will be to dress her.
Did you have something to do with this?
Maybe.
But her choosing to dress up as you was all her idea.
She loves you very much.
She’s the sweetest.
Maybe I should dress up in my uniform to match her?
Do you think she’d like that?
Not a fucking chance, Hollander.
You’re Malibu Ken, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
😒
It was worth a shot.
November 3, 11:45 AM
Harris is coming to pick up the puppy this afternoon.
Okay 😞
I know it’s sad.
I’ve gotten attached to them all, too.
But at least this way, we’ll still get to see one of them all the time.
He’ll be at the games after he’s trained and will do all sorts of things with the team.
It’ll be great.
Have they decided on a name for him?
Chiron.
Apparently he’s a Greek mythological character.
I know who Chiron is.
You do?
Do you have a bunch of Greek mythology knowledge you’ve been holding out on me?
No.
I just read The Song of Achilles like any good queer person.
I have no idea what that is.
I know ❤️
November 8, 9:37 PM
Did you make it to your hotel?
Yes, just got to my room.
How was your day? How’s Violet?
I am very sad.
Last puppy leaves tomorrow.
Spent most of the night holding a crying 6 year old.
I’m sorry.
I know it’s been tough, and I haven’t been home for most of it.
You did such a beautiful job with them. They’re the cutest things and they’re all so sweet.
They’re going to make their families really happy.
I hope so.
Did you take your tripod?
I’m horny.
But you just said you were sad?
I can be both.
They are not mutually exclusive things.
I can be sad and still just really want to watch you jerk off.
I guess that’s true.
And as much as I adore your sexting skills, I would prefer to look at your face while you come.
Well, when you put it that way, how can I say no?
Give me a couple minutes.
❤️
And hey, if you need to cry while I hold you when I get home, you can.
You deserve to feel it all too.
We’ll see.
December 5, 2:52 PM
I think Violet’s gymnastics outfit got delivered today.
Saw a delivery guy at the gate.
Okay.
And her first class is tomorrow at 6.
Got it.
I love you.
I’ll call you after the game?
Sounds good.
Love you, too.
Are you okay?
Yes, just tired.
Go show them what you’re made of.
Always ❤️
December 6, 8:09 PM
How was gymnastics?
It was good.
She did great.
Not sure she’s headed for the Olympics anytime soon, but she had fun.
I have lots of photos to show you when you get home.
Can you send some now?
I am very tired.
Struggling to stay awake.
Okay.
I love you, and I’ll see you tomorrow ❤️
Get some rest.
December 15, 12:29 PM
Baby, are you okay?
I just got a message on Facebook from Jeanette saying Violet’s at school, but you didn’t show up for Pizza Thursday, and you weren’t answering anyone’s calls?
I’m starting to worry.
I am fine.
Just needed a day off.
Violet is good.
I’m good.
But you didn’t tell anyone?
No, Shane.
I didn’t fucking tell anyone.
I don’t think everyone needs to know where I am all the time.
Okay.
I’m sorry.
I’m just worried.
You’ve seemed really down lately, and I’m just worried.
Yes, you’ve said that already.
But you don’t need to be, because I’m fine.
Okay. I believe you.
I’m about to get on this plane to Tampa in a couple of hours.
Are you good to pick up Violet after school?
Why wouldn’t I be?
Just checking.
I’ll call you when we land?
Sure.
December 15, 6:20 PM
There’s something wrong with the plane.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, I just need you to know I love you.
I love you so much, I never ever thought I’d have anything like this.
Please tell Violet I love her and I’m so proud of her.
I know she’s in the best hands with you.
I love you.
I love you.
Thank you for the best year and a half of my life.
I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
You and Violet are the best things that have ever happened to me.
I love you both.
Never forget it.
Please.
I’ll always be with you both.
December 15, 6:40 PM
Fuck.
Holy shit.
Shane?
Oh my god, Shane.
Answer the phone.
Please.
Please be okay.
Please.
I have so much I need to tell you that I should have said already.
I’ll tell you everything if you just answer the goddamn phone.
Please.
Shane Hollander, I’ll never let you live this down if you don’t answer the fucking phone.
I’m okay.
I’ll call you in just a second.
Dealing with paramedics.
Oh my god.
Fuck, Hollander.
I love you.
Please tell me you’re okay.
I am, I promise.
I’ll call you as soon as I get done with them.
I love you, too.
December 15, 11:00 PM
Thank you for opening up about how you’re feeling.
Yes, well.
Having your husband go through a near-death experience will do that to a person, I guess.
Are you okay?
I feel like I kind of took over the conversation with my shit.
I’m good, baby.
I promise.
I’m sure once I process it, I’ll be fucked up, but for now, I’m good.
Just glad we’re okay.
You aren’t scared that I am not okay?
Scared isn’t the right word.
I’m worried about you.
But we’ll figure this out together.
What if we can’t?
What if I’m like my mother and I can’t be fixed?
You’re not broken, Ilya.
You’re not some object that needs to be put back together.
You’re a whole person that needs some support because of a chemical thing in your brain.
You’re my person.
And we’re going to figure out what that looks like together.
What if it takes a long time?
Then I’ll be right by you through the whole thing.
And I’m talking to Wiebe in the morning about taking time off until after Christmas.
You don’t need to do that.
Maybe not, but my family comes first.
I’m old enough to realize that now.
I love hockey, but I’ll always choose you and Violet.
We’ll go to the cottage for a couple of weeks?
Reset a bit.
I’d like that.
I think my adrenaline is finally crashing.
I’m exhausted.
Get some rest.
Can I call you and stay on the phone with you all night long?
You want to listen to me sleep?
Yes.
I married such a strange man.
Whatever.
You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.
Maybe.
Let me get in bed, and I will call.
❤️
January 10, 1:37 PM
How did it go?
15/10.
No notes.
Depression cured.
Ilya.
It was alright.
I like her.
It felt good to talk to someone.
Even better to do it in Russian.
I’m so proud of you for going.
And don’t make some snarky remark.
It won’t change the fact that I’m proud of you.
You are so mean.
What are you up to now?
I’m taking a walk.
Felt like a good thing to do after spilling my guts.
I’m just finishing up at the arena.
Can I come join you, or would you rather be alone?
Get your gorgeous ass over here, Hollander.
Come walk with me.
I’d love to.
January 15, 3:46 PM
You would not BELIEVE what Jeanette tried to do.
Do tell.
She suggested she take over since I’ve been out for a few weeks.
That I step down until I’m at my full capacity.
Can you believe the nerve of that woman?
I mean.
Fuck, Jeanette always, obviously.
But you know it’s okay to have help if you need it right?
I know.
But it’s Jeanette.
Yeah.
But you could still use her.
Just delegate all the shit you don’t want to do to her.
Ah yes. Delegation.
The mark of a true leader.
You’re so right.
And if she doesn’t do it then she looks even worse than she already does.
Shane Hollander, you cunning, beautifully freckled man.
🤷♂️
Yuna Hollander didn’t raise me as a fool.
I’ve seen her take down enough incompetent people to have learned a thing or two.
I’m going to go tell her she has to find volunteers for the bake sale and then set the complaint emails to go to her email and then send a bunch of anonymous complaints.
Seems like a great use of your time ❤️
February 1, 3:49 PM
Are we still going skating tonight?
Yes.
Violet is so excited.
And so am I because, I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but her dad is very, very sexy in skates.
You should see his ass. It’s a work of art.
Thanks ❤️
Can’t wait.
I was talking about myself.
Why would you be excited to see yourself in skates?
I am excited for everyone around us!
I am meant to be shared with the world, Shane.
As your husband, I kind of have to disagree on that.
February 20, 5:17 PM
I’m picking up your meds from the pharmacy.
Thank you, my love.
So, a few of the team are going to do a little pick up game before our flight to Philadelphia next week, but we’re down a guy.
Any interest in playing?
Against a bunch of NHL players?
I don’t think so.
Come on. It’s not a big thing.
No contact, just for fun.
I’ve seen you skate, you’re a natural.
And I’ve heard you give me indepth analysis of most of my games.
I know how well you know hockey.
So come play with me.
I don’t know.
Please?
I will be on your team?
If it’ll make you more comfortable, absolutely.
No, I just do not want you to feel badly when I beat you.
Asshole ❤️
Yes, I will come play.
Yes!
Can’t wait.
February 25, 4:06 PM
Made it on the plane.
Fuck, that was fun.
You have ridiculous instincts.
No one who hasn’t played in years plays like that.
Like holy shit that was so hot.
You have a hockey competency kink, I see.
I think it’s just a you kink.
I’m so annoyed I had to leave right after it was over.
I wanted to suck you off in the car after that goal you scored.
Next time 😉
Until then just remember how brilliant I am in your memories.
Oh, no, I’m not relying on that.
I had Harris video a bunch of it.
I love you so much, you giant freak.
Love you, too.
March 1, 1:29 PM
I just got a notification that Violet was marked absent for the afternoon.
Is everything okay?
Did you check her out?
Yes, we are going to go get pedicures.
She seemed tired this morning so I surprised her.
We will relax and gossip in Russian while we pay people to pamper us with your money.
Gossip about what?
You mostly.
She has a lot of thoughts on your performance in last night’s game.
She said you really need to tighten up your lines if you have any hope of making it to the playoffs.
She said that, did she?
Yes, she did.
Quite the little hockey mind she has.
Okay, well.
Tell her thanks for that analysis, and I just wanted to check and make sure you were good.
We are okay.
I promise.
It’s a good day.
Been a good few weeks since the medicine.
And do not tell me you are proud of me, or I will gladly tell you more about how your passing technique needs improvement.
You’re the worst.
Thank you 😘
March 30, 8:19 AM
So, I was thinking.
Should I alert the Ottawa Citizen?
Very funny.
I was thinking that you spend so much of your time taking care of me and Violet, and you rarely take any time for yourself to do the things you love.
And?
Maybe, you find something you want to do and do it for yourself? Could be anything.
Have you been speaking to my therapist?
No!
I’ve just been doing some reading about how I can better support you.
And you’ve given up so much for our family, and you deserve to have something for yourself.
I love taking care of you.
I know you do.
And you’re so fucking good at it.
I just don’t want you to feel like that’s all you are. Because it’s not.
I don’t even know what I would do.
We can talk about it. Throw some ideas around.
I will think about it.
Now go win your fucking game.
I need you to make it to playoffs so I can get a WHAG jacket.
I’m counting on you.
🫡
April 10, 1:49 PM
Don’t be mad.
That’s always a great way to start a conversation.
Violet got sent home for punching someone.
WHAT.
There’s no fucking way.
Oh, there definitely is.
Jeanette’s son apparently was mouthing off about her having two dads, so she punched him square in the nose.
As one does with homophobes.
God.
FUCK YOU, JEANETTE.
My thoughts exactly.
He got sent home, too.
The principal didn’t want to send Violet home, but they have a zero tolerance policy for violence so.
We’re going to the movies this afternoon.
Are you sure that’s the right message to send her?
Do not worry.
We’ll have a long talk about using our words and asking for help from an adult over double scoops of ice cream.
Sounds good ❤️
Thank you.
Is it bad I’m secretly pleased?
I hope not, because I am, too.
May 10, 10:15 PM
We just landed.
I’ll be home in half an hour.
Good, because I might be wearing your jersey and nothing else.
Happy fucking birthday to me.
Drive as fast as that stupidly sensible car of yours will take you.
June 15, 3:01 PM
Happy birthday, baby.
I love you and I’m so glad you were born.
Also, why the fuck did we decide it was a good idea for me to not stay at home during the finals?
Because we are very stupid and responsible.
And you didn’t want the distraction.
Which I still take great offense to being referred to as a distraction.
But why did I not think about the fact that I’d be crawling out of my skin not being fucked for two weeks?
It will all be worth it when you win me that cup.
So go win me that cup Hollander.
It’s the only thing I want for my birthday.
Besides making you come five times in one night.
God, I hate you.
And I will meet you on the ice afterwards and kiss you with an obscene amount of tongue.
And later, that tongue will be in your ass.
Fuuucckkk.
See you out there ❤️
I’ll be the one with the C on my jersey, in case you’ve forgotten what I look like.
I’ll be the only man in the WHAG jacket.
July 9, 11:10 AM
Happy anniversary, Shane.
You’ve made me the happiest man alive. Even on the darkest days, I’ve never doubted I wasn’t alone. I love this life we’ve made, and thank you so much for the gift of joining your family. I love you more than you’ll ever know.
❤️
Happy anniversary.
You’re so sweet, but why are you texting me this when I’m sitting next to you on the couch?
I didn’t want Violet to overhear!
Of all the things you’ve said she could have overheard, I think that’s one of the least worrisome.
I love you so fucking much it sucks.
That will not be the only thing about you that sucks when I am finished with you tonight.
There it is.
July 23, 10:15 AM
Troy and Harris are on their way.
Make sure you pick up some more beer while you’re at the store.
And they’re bringing Chiron.
!!!!!!
This is the best day of my life.
Anya will be so happy.
Mother and bastard son reunited.
🥹🥹🥹🥹
I would have thought maybe our wedding would have been the best day of your life, but sure.
Two dogs would definitely trump that.
I am ignoring your jealousy because DOGS.
I just dropped Violet off at my mom’s.
So hurry back so you can fuck me properly one more time before our friends get here.
Aye, aye, Captain.
August 30, 9:25 AM
Any particular reason there’s a strategically placed flyer at my place at the table for Orleans Minor Hockey looking for coaches?
Nope.
Just found it interesting.
Thought you might find it interesting, too.
You really think I should?
I don’t think anything other than I support whatever you’d like to do.
And if it just so happens to be you instilling your knowledge in the next generation of hockey players, then so be it.
If not, we’ll figure something else out you're passionate about.
But what would Violet do during practices?
I can’t just leave her.
I’m fairly certain there’s any number of people who could watch her for a few hours a week.
You’re not her manny anymore. You can have other people take care of her, and I promise it’ll be fine.
I guess.
Just email them and see, okay?
If you want.
And then we’ll go from there.
Okay.
I will see.
I love you.
Give the girls a kiss from me and I’ll be home tomorrow.
Kisses delivered.
Violet says she misses you, and Anya just licked my cheek.
Sounds about right ❤️
October 9, 8:09 AM
Good luck, today!
I hate that I can’t be there, but I’m sending Harris to video.
I’d have mom do it, but her finger would end up in the shot, so.
Don’t want to take my chances.
You’ll be amazing, coach.
Thank you, Hollander.
Don’t worry about us. Just win your game and come home to me and Violet.
Always.
And you will definitely be calling me coach in bed tomorrow night.
I love you, Ilya.
I love you, too, Shane.
Always ❤️