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The Taste of Unemployment

Summary:

Due to Café Cinnamon closing down, Niki loses his job. (Un)fortunately, Rinne has an idea...

Notes:

tw: unemployment, j*b 💔😔

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It all began with a single notice pasted to the front door of Café Cinnamon.

"CLOSURE DUE TO THE BUILDING’S WORSENING CONDITION. WE APOLOGIZE."

Niki stood in front of the entrance to his workplace, staring at it in complete silence. He read the message once. And then again. Finally, he slowly turned around and walked straight back to the dorms, looking like a man for whom everything had lost meaning. The rest of Crazy:B happened to be in the common room, each busy with their own things.

The moment Niki entered the room, he collapsed face-first onto the sofa.

“…I lost my job.” he said quietly into the pillow his face was now pressed into.

Rinne looked up from his phone, where he had been currently betting on horse races.

“What?”

“Cinnamon is closing,” Niki stated with a sigh, lazily rolling onto his back. “The building’s condition has worsened…”

A silence fell over the common room.

“The building’s condition?” Kohaku blinked.

“Maybe the building just got old?” HiMERU said calmly, sipping coke. “That’s a perfectly normal reason to shut something down.”

“No… my workplace died… I won’t have anything to eat and I’ll die too.”

“Well…that escalated quickly,” Kohaku remarked.

“Shiina,” HiMERU sighed, “HiMERU believes you’re exaggerating a bit.”

But then Rinne suddenly rose from the sofa. A dangerous glint appeared in his eyes, and HiMERU immediately knew another headache was coming.

“…No.” he simply stated.

“…No?” Kohaku repeated carefully. He and HiMERU exchanged a look that could only be described as fear.

“We can’t let this happen.” Rinne slammed both hands onto the table, sending Kohaku’s chips flying before he even had time to react. “Cinnamon is part of OUR HISTORY! That’s where Niki-kyun works! That’s where we leech off! That’s where I still owe money!”

“That last one explains a lot…” Kohaku muttered.

Rinne dramatically pointed at the ceiling.

“WE’RE SAVING CINNAMON!”

Niki immediately sat up straight.

“Saving… Cinnamon…?”

“That’s right!” Rinne declared, clenching his fist. “We’re launching a campaign! A social movement! A REVOLUTION!”

HiMERU could already feel a migraine forming. He really did not want a repeat of the pigeon racing incident.

“Amagi, HiMERU is begging you not to turn a café closure into a political movement”

“Too late, Merumeru!~ I’m already into it!”

Three hours later… #SaveCinnamon was trending. No one had any idea how it happened. Even HiMERU couldn’t understand where the flood of posts had come from.

“Rinne-han, what did you do again?…” Kohaku sighed, staring at his phone.

Meanwhile, Rinne was scrolling through his own phone, occasionally tapping the screen.

“Hm? I just posted a few things and said it was ‘important.’ The rest is their problem, right?”

Yet, a little later, Crazy:B began discussing structural repairs to the building - HiMERU considered this approach quite reasonable. At least, until Rinne got a bit carried away… with ideas.

HiMERU did not think that at any point in his life he would end up on a livestream because of a café closure. By his standards, this did not fall within the duties of a perfect idol.

And yet here he was, staring blankly at the shirt Rinne had thrown into his face.

“No.” HiMERU stated, eyeing the words “I SURVIVED THE FALL OF CINNAMON” printed across it.

“Merumeru, candles or the shirt! You have to hold something!”

“HiMERU does not have to do anything.”

He decided he had bad associations with Rinne’s shirts, so he took the candle instead. Amagi would have shoved something into his hands anyway, so he might as well look elegant and presentable.

“Rinne-han, how do they smell?” Kohaku asked with genuine interest, looking at the stack of candles.

“Like hope, Kohaku-chan~!”

Kohaku just rolled his eyes and decided to smell one himself. That was… a mistake.

“Ugh! What the hell is that disgustin’ smell?!” Kohaku grimaced, covering his nose and waving his free hand as if trying to drive the stench away.

HiMERU, intrigued, looked down at the candle label, trying to figure out what it could be (he was not going to smell it himself).

“…Cinnamon and laundry detergent,” HiMERU said, staring at his leader in disbelief.

“Kyahaha! So that’s what they went with? I told them to make it a surprise!”

Suddenly, HiMERU felt that holding this candle was a threat to his idol image. He could not promote something so horrible with his face. He looked around the room and decided to change professions. He concluded that he had no control over the rest of the livestream. He could only ensure it would not become his problem.

So he picked up a folded, still tangled microphone stand. He held it upright like a staff. Standing straight with perfect posture and an absolutely serious expression, he contrasted sharply with the rest of the room. The situation was problematic, but at least HiMERU was no longer its source.

“Merumeru! What are you doing over there?” Rinne shouted from across the room.

“HiMERU has determined he is more useful for the broadcast.”

“By holdin’ a folded mic stand?” Kohaku raised an eyebrow.

“Exactly.”

Now that HiMERU no longer had to worry about his image, he looked around the room. Niki was wearing three shirts with the large text “I SURVIVED THE FALL OF CINNAMON.” HiMERU raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, but Niki simply replied:

“They’re comfortable…”

And HiMERU stopped questioning that.

Before he even realized it, Rinne was already standing in front of the camera with a very determined expression, and the livestream had begun. The number of viewers was growing at a terrifying speed.

"LISTEN UP, PEOPLE!" he shouted dramatically at the camera. "TODAY IT’S CAFÉ CINNAMON. TOMORROW YOUR FAVORITE RESTAURANT. AND THEN?! BAM! SOCIETY COLLAPSES!"

"That’s not how infrastructure works." HiMERU interrupted him.

"DON’T INTERRUPT ME WHEN I’M IN INSPIRATION MODE, MERUMERU!"

Niki was sitting next to him, looking genuinely moved by Rinne’s speech.

"They used to give me leftovers there for free…" he sniffled.

"SEE?!" Rinne immediately pointed at him. "A victim of the system!"

"More like they fed him ‘cause he looked starvin’," Kohaku muttered under his breath, and HiMERU couldn’t disagree.

Unfortunately… the audience loved it. While scrolling social media, HiMERU saw fans drawing mourning fanart. Someone even made a video with dramatic funeral music over an old clip of Niki carrying pancakes in a reality show. One person seriously asked whether ES was going through an economic crisis.

Then HiMERU immediately closed the app.

"This is misinformation." he stated.

But Rinne went even further. By evening, a second merch drop hit the market. Kohaku looked slightly devastated watching Rinne carry more boxes.

"There’s more?!" he groaned. The youngest bee was responsible for shipping, so this reaction was justified.

"Of course there is! Kohaku-chan, we have to save Cinnamon!" Rinne was rummaging through a box full of acrylic standees. HiMERU narrowed his eyes looking at what Amagi brought. It was their picture of when they were…  all dressed as waiters standing in front of a fiery explosion?

"Why are we running away from a fire?" HiMERU asked flatly, staring at his standee. He grimaced. Rinne had picked a less flattering angle of his face.

"It’s a symbol of tragedy!!"

HiMERU didn’t comment. He had long given up on stopping his team from this idea.

"Aww…" Niki sniffled while reading fan comments. "Someone said that just looking at Café Cinnamon’s building helped them find the love of their life…"

"SEE?! People need us!"

"People need coffee, Amagi." 

But Rinne couldn’t be stopped. By midnight, a “SAVE CINNAMON” petition was circulating, and Rinne was already planning a charity concert. HiMERU even saw him dragging huge boxes of wristbands.

"HiMERU refuses to wear that," he stated immediately.

"You’re already wearing it, Merumeru ♪"

"...What."

Rinne pointed at his wrist. HiMERU raised his hand. At some point, someone had clipped one on without him noticing!

HiMERU stared into space and began reconsidering every life decision that had led him here. The wristband meant someone had been close enough to put it on him, meaning he had let his guard down.

"Rinne-han just sold five hundred candles," Kohaku commented suddenly, sitting next to HiMERU.

HiMERU looked at him cautiously.

"...five hundred," HiMERU repeated flatly.

"Mmhm."

"The ones that smell like laundry detergent?"

"Yeah."

HiMERU’s faith in humanity no longer existed, and if it had, it would have shattered.

"People really buy anything."

"That’s not even the worst," Kohaku said, sliding his phone over. "Look at the comments."

HiMERU had been avoiding them the whole time. Still… he looked.

@tatsumi_amen: I bought three candles to support 🕊️✞

@rinneswife: The smell is awful but I cried the whole stream

@simping4meru HiMERU looked so elegant holding that standee… HOT

HiMERU frowned.

"...What."

Kohaku kept scrolling.

@crazybtheories: Was that standee symbolizing the weight of society?

@supportcinnamon4ever: No, idiot. It’s a metaphor for Café Cinnamon’s stability.

@himerumeow: HiMERU holding the standee moved me emotionally! Keep going, HiMERU ❤️😭😭

"..."

HiMERU stared at the screen, and with every passing second, the more comments Oukawa showed him, the more he felt like a part of him was slowly dying.

"HiMERU-han, people are even making fancams of you." Oukawa nudged him, pulling him out of his flood of thoughts just to show him the latest discovery. On the smartphone screen was… a fancam of HiMERU holding a tripod. Was that really such a spectacular sight? HiMERU had picked it up only to avoid standing out and to save his idol image!

"Fancams."

"Of you and the tripod, yes."

While HiMERU was dying internally, on the other side of the room Rinne was currently standing on a chair.

"LISTEN UP! WE’VE PASSED TEN THOUSAND SOLD WRISTBANDS!"

"Rinne-han, I don’t think that’s actually possible-" Kohaku started, but unfortunately no one was listening to him.

"Oho! So you’re saying we should aim HIGHER?!"

Niki sat nearby, moved to tears beside the boxes of merch.

"Rinne-kun… people really do support us… it makes me want to cook something nice for them."

"That’s right, Niki-kyun! That’s the power of the human spirit!"

"More like parasocial relationships," HiMERU muttered to himself.

Rinne looked at him in shock and dramatically pointed a finger his way.

"MERUMERU! Stop ruining the magic!"

HiMERU gave up. He let out a heavy sigh and rested his forehead against the still-folded tripod.

That… was a mistake. The livestream camera zoomed in on him at that exact moment. The comments exploded.

@rinrinluvs: OH MY GOD HIMERU IS CRYING

@nikiisanangel: HE LOVES CINNAMON SO MUCH......

@himerumeow: I WON'T survive this emotionally...

HiMERU raised his head with resignation.

"HiMERU is not crying." he stated, as a response to one of the comments.

"But ya did look pretty artistic." Kohaku shrugged his arms slightly.

"HiMERU simply got a migraine from all of this."

"Doesn’t matter!" Rinne slung an arm around his shoulders and grinned widely. "People love suffering artists!"

"Amagi, HiMERU is a hostage of your movement, not a suffering artist."

But the comments kept pouring in. HiMERU thought… since he couldn’t change anything, then maybe…

Very carefully, he looked at the tripod in his hand. Then his gaze shifted toward the screen. HiMERU straightened slightly and adjusted his grip on the tripod. He also angled it differently and tilted his face to show his better side. If he was going to suffer, he might as well make sure he looked good doing it.

"… HiMERU-han.”

"HiMERU is merely correcting his posture."

"Mhmmm."

"This is not a pose."

"Yeah, sure."

"HiMERU is not taking advantage of the situation, Oukawa."

"HiMERU-han. You’re lookin’ directly into the camera right now, y’know."

Rinne looked at the livestream screen and burst into loud laughter.

"Kyahahaha! MERUMERU JUST SOLD ANOTHER THOUSAND CANDLES!"

Kohaku’s smile slowly faded while he looked at his phone. HiMERU wondered what he saw, but he didn’t really need to wait a lot to know.

"HiMERU-han… I think they’ve started shipping you with the tripod…"

HiMERU froze in place.

"HiMERU begs your pardon?"

"There’s a hashtag." Kohaku slid the phone toward him, looking at him with something between fascination and horror. "#HiTripod."

"That’s a terrible name," Rinne declared after a moment.

"That is the least important part of this situation," HiMERU hissed. "HiMERU would like to remind everyone that the original problem was the state of the building."

HiMERU had just seen fanart of himself and the tripod. In it, he stood in the rain with the tripod in hand. The caption of the illustration was saying:

"Even if Cafe Cinnamon falls… I’ll still support you."

HiMERU wanted the ground to swallow him whole. Literally.

"The tripod body pillows sold out," Kohaku stated, staring at the screen with a mix of concern and genuine amazement.

It was a good thing HiMERU wasn’t drinking anything right now, or he would have spat it out. That would not have been elegant.

"Wh- "

"Oh, they’re up again. How large is our stock…?"

HiMERU sighed. Suddenly, he felt someone patting his shoulder comfortingly.

"I understand your pain, HiMERU-kun…" Niki said. "I didn’t expect to become a symbol either. I just wanted to keep working…"

"Niki-kyun!" Rinne grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him violently. Niki practically saw stars. "That’s genius! That sounds like a story! ‘The last employee of cafe cinnamon vs the system!’"

"What? W-What, Rinne-kun, no! I just make food…!"

"Too late! The title already exists!"

Rinne was already designing posters. Niki standing in the rain with a tray of coffee in his hands… dramatic light flashing behind him. He hadn’t even finished yet, but the most important part was already there - the slogan he had written in a burst of inspiration:

WHEN THE WORLD CLOSED ITS DOORS… HE KEPT SERVING…

"Amagi, this is propaganda now- "

After midnight, the situation somehow became even worse. The official Cafe Cinnamon account made a post. Everyone froze - even HiMERU himself. Niki nearly dropped his phone.

Thank you for your concern regarding Cafe Cinnamon!

We apologize for the misunderstanding, but the announcement about the closure was part of management’s April Fools’ campaign.

The café will open normally tomorrow.

Absolute silence fell over the room.

Everyone looked at each other. Kohaku closed his eyes. HiMERU pressed a hand to his forehead. Niki stared blankly into space.

Meanwhile, Rinne completely lost it. He slammed both hands onto the table, sending merch flying everywhere.

"KYAHAHA!"

"You knew?!" Kohaku snarled, crushing a bag of chips in his fist.

"No, but that makes it even funnier!"

Niki looked genuinely confused and betrayed.

"Aaaa, I really cried on camera… that’s actually kind of embarrassing…"

"HiMERU would like compensation."

"Oi, Merumeru! Look on the bright side!" Rinne grinned, throwing an arm around Niki. "Niki-kyun isn’t unemployed!"

"Rinne-han, the HiTripod body pillow sold out."

HiMERU stood up.

He could smell freedom.

He set the tripod down. Put on his blazer. Then headed toward the door.

"Merumeru? Where are you going?"

"HiMERU is leaving the cult."

And with that, he just walked out.

"Well… at least it’s good that Cinnamon isn’t closin'. Niki-han looked genuinely miserable," Kohaku remarked.

"Kohaku-chan was worried about me?!" Niki immediately brightened up.

"Don’t say it like that, it sounds weird," Kohaku sighed.

But the tripod body pillows were still selling out, even after the livestream.

Notes:

Cinnamon is closing down so I'm coping 💀 Anyways thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed that :) I was so inspired I wrote it almost in one go...
There was supposed to be some html in the middle but it wasn't showing up at all so I just left it like this. Maybe one day I will figure out how to paste a code here lol

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