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The rain started before the monster appeared.
Percy remembered that later because it felt important somehow. The sound of it against the sidewalk. The way Sally laughed when the wind nearly stole her umbrella. The smell of wet pavement and food carts and the city settling into evening around them.
Normal.
It had been normal.
“Paul’s gonna order from that terrible pizza place again,” Sally said, smiling as she nudged Percy’s shoulder. “And then he’s gonna pretend he likes it.”
Percy snorted. “The one with the square pepperoni?”
“The very one.”
“That should honestly be illegal.”
Sally laughed softly.
Gods, Percy would remember that laugh forever.
The streetlights reflected gold against puddles as they crossed the road. Percy shoved his hands deeper into his hoodie pocket and glanced around automatically, years of instinct refusing to shut off even during moments like this.
No monsters.
No danger.
Just New York.
His mom bumped him lightly again. “You’re doing it.”
“Doing what?”
“The paranoid demigod scan.”
“I do not have a paranoid demigod scan.”
“You absolutely do.”
Percy rolled his eyes, but he smiled anyway.
Then Sally stopped walking.
Not suddenly.
Not fearfully.
Just enough that Percy noticed.
“Mom?”
The alley beside them looked empty at first glance.
Then the shadows moved, and Percy’s stomach dropped.
A monster unfolded itself from the darkness, too tall, all bone-thin limbs and claws scraping brick, its mouth splitting open vertically like tearing paper.
Riptide appeared in Percy’s hand instantly.
“Behind me,” he snapped.
Usually, this was the part where his body moved before he thought.
Usually, instinct took over.
Usually, Percy knew exactly what to do.
The monster lunged and Sally shoved him backward.
The scream cut off too fast.
For one impossible second, the entire world stopped moving.
Percy could see everything with horrible clarity: rainwater dripping from the monster’s claws, Sally stumbling backward, Riptide clenched in his fist hard enough to hurt.
Move.
His body didn’t obey.
Move.
He knew how to do this.
Gods, he had fought Titans. Giants. Tartarus itself. He had crossed battlefields and survived prophecies and stood against beings older than civilization.
Move.
The monster struck.
And Percy-
Percy watched.
The sound that came out of Sally’s mouth barely sounded human.
Then the monster turned toward him again, jaws opening wider, and suddenly Percy’s body unlocked all at once.
Riptide slashed upward.
The monster dissolved into golden dust.
Too late.
Too late too late too late-
“Mom?”
Sally hit the pavement hard.
Percy dropped beside her so fast his knees cracked against concrete.
Rain soaked through his jeans instantly.
“Mom,” he said again, breathless and confused. “Mom, hey-hey-”
Her coat was dark with rainwater. But-
No.
No, that wasn’t rainwater.
Percy’s vision blurred.
His hands shook violently as he pressed them against the wound like pressure could somehow rewind time.
“It’s okay,” he whispered frantically. “Okay, okay, ambrosia, I have ambrosia-”
His fingers fumbled through his pocket.
The square slipped from his grasp and disappeared into a puddle.
“No.”
He grabbed for another one.
His hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
“Mama, come on,” he pleaded softly. “Come on, please mama.”
Sally’s eyes were half-open.
That felt wrong.
She should be blinking. Smiling. Talking.
She should be alive.
“Percy.”
Her voice was barely audible.
Relief crashed through him so hard it hurt.
“I’m here,” he said immediately. “I’m right here mama.”
Sally looked at him.
Not at the blood.
Not at the street.
Just him.
Percy felt suddenly, horribly young.
“It’s okay,” he lied shakily.
Her fingers twitched weakly against his wrist.
Then stopped.
Percy waited for another movement.
Another breath.
Another anything.
But nothing happened.
The rain kept falling.
Somewhere nearby, someone screamed.
Percy stared at his mama's face and waited for the world to fix itself.
It didn’t.
-----------
The sirens blurred together after that.
People crowded around them. Voices overlapped. Someone tried to pull Percy away from Sally and he nearly broke their wrist on instinct.
“Don’t touch her!”
“Sir, please-”
“That’s my mama!”
The words tore out of him raw enough that the paramedic recoiled.
Percy curled over Sally protectively, blood soaking into his hoodie sleeves.
No one understood.
They were acting like this was real.
Like this was permanent.
A police officer crouched nearby, speaking carefully. “Kid, I need you to step back so they can help her.”
Help her.
Yes.
Yes, exactly.
They could still help her.
Percy nodded rapidly. “Okay. Okay.”
He moved back on numb legs.
Paramedics flooded around Sally immediately.
Percy watched them work.
Watched their faces slowly change.
Watched one of them stop CPR.
No.
No, they weren’t supposed to stop.
“Wait,” Percy said.
Nobody answered him.
“Wait.”
A paramedic glanced at him with the kind of pity Percy had only ever seen directed at other people.
“No,” Percy whispered.
A familiar voice shouted his name.
“Percy!”
Paul.
Panic hit instantly.
Paul ran through the crowd, hair soaked from the rain, terror written across his face.
Then he saw Sally.
The umbrella slipped from his hand.
“Oh my God.”
Percy stopped breathing.
Because Paul trusted him.
Paul let Percy walk Sally home all the time. Paul smiled and kissed her goodbye like she would come back.
Paul believed Percy could protect people.
And Percy had just stood there.
“Percy,” Paul choked out.
Percy staggered backward.
No.
He couldn’t do this.
He couldn’t let Paul look at him.
Not now.
Not after-
“I’m sorry,” Percy whispered.
Then he turned and ran.
-----------
He didn’t remember most of the next few hours.
Just fragments.
Rain in his eyes.
Traffic lights blurring together.
His phone vibrating endlessly in his pocket.
Annabeth.
Grover.
Paul.
Unknown numbers.
Percy couldn’t answer any of them.
Every time he slowed down, he saw it again.
The monster lunging.
His mama screaming.
Him standing there.
Frozen.
Like a coward.
His lungs burned. His legs ached. The city stretched endlessly around him.
Somehow, eventually, he ended up standing in front of Nico and Will’s apartment building.
Percy stared at the buzzer without really understanding why he was there.
Then he pressed it.
A crackling voice answered almost immediately.
“Yeah?”
Percy opened his mouth.
Nothing came out.
There was a pause.
Then Nico’s voice sharpened instantly. “Percy?”
The building door buzzed open.
Percy climbed the stairs mechanically.
Nico opened the apartment door wearing black sweatpants and socks patterned with tiny skulls.
For one second, neither of them moved.
Percy knew what he looked like.
Blood on his sleeves, rainwater dripping onto the floor, eyes burning hollow and wrong.
Nico’s expression changed immediately.
“Will,” he called quietly.
Percy swayed and Nico reached forward automatically and grabbed his wrist. Not tight, just enough to steady him.
That nearly broke Percy all by itself.
Will appeared from the kitchen a second later, took one look at Percy, and went pale.
“Oh gods.”
Percy stared at them blankly.
Will stepped closer carefully, like approaching an injured animal. “Percy, are you hurt?”
Percy opened his mouth.
“She died,” he whispered.
Silence.
Not shocked silence.
Not confused silence.
The kind of silence people make when something terrible settles permanently into a room.
Will inhaled sharply.
Nico’s grip tightened slightly around Percy’s wrist.
“She died,” Percy repeated, because maybe they hadn’t understood him the first time. “My mama-”
His voice shattered and his knees gave out, Nico caught him before he hit the floor.
Percy folded instantly, like his body had finally given up pretending it could hold itself together.
“Oh,” Will whispered.
Percy started shaking violently.
“I’ve got you,” Nico said immediately, sounding alarmed now. “Hey, hey, we’ve got you.”
Percy barely felt himself being guided to the couch.
Will wrapped a blanket around his shoulders.
The warmth made the trembling worse.
“She’s dead,” Percy whispered again.
Nico sat beside him carefully.
Percy stared at the floor.
He couldn’t stop seeing blood.
Will knelt in front of him. “Percy, look at me for a second.”
Percy couldn’t.
If he looked directly at someone, this would become real.
“Percy.”
Will’s voice stayed soft and Percy forced his eyes upward.
Will looked heartbroken, not doubtful, not suspicious, heartbroken.
That hurt more.
“You’re safe here,” Will said gently.
Safe.
Percy almost laughed.
He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes hard enough to hurt.
“I couldn’t move.”
The room went still.
Percy’s breathing turned ragged immediately.
“She pushed me out of the way and I just-” His voice cracked violently. “I froze.”
There it was.
The ugliest truth in the world.
Nico frowned slightly. “Percy-”
“I just watched.”
The shame hit him so hard he curled inward instinctively.
Will looked devastated and Nico looked furious, not at Percy, at the world.
“I’ve fought gods,” Percy whispered hoarsely. “I’ve fought everything and I couldn’t even save my mom.”
Nico moved before Percy fully realized what was happening.
One second he was sitting beside him.
The next, he was pulling Percy sideways into his arms.
Nico didn’t like touch, everyone knew that.
Percy knew that, which was why the gesture hurt so much.
Percy collapsed against him immediately, not gracefully, not slowly, he just… gave out.
Like some final piece holding him upright had snapped.
“Oh, Percy,” Will whispered.
Percy buried his face against Nico’s shoulder and started crying hard enough to choke.
Not quiet tears.
Not controlled grief.
The kind that ripped through his chest violently.
Nico held him tighter without hesitation.
“You’re okay,” Nico said softly.
“No, I’m not,” Percy sobbed.
The words came out broken and ruined.
“I killed her.”
“You did not,” Nico said immediately.
“I froze!”
“So what?”
Percy jerked backward enough to stare at him in disbelief.
Nico’s expression cracked.
“You think fear makes you a bad person?” he demanded quietly. “You think one moment erases everything else?”
Percy couldn’t breathe properly.
Nico looked suddenly exhausted.
“You know what I remember most,” he said softly, “about the first time I watched someone die?”
Percy went still.
“I remember being scared.”
That did it.
Percy broke completely.
He made a horrible sound and folded back into Nico’s arms, shaking so hard Will immediately moved closer too.
Will sat beside them carefully and rested one hand between Percy’s shoulder blades.
“Breathe with me,” he murmured.
Percy tried.
Gods, he tried.
But every breath felt wrong.
His mama was dead.
The thought still didn’t fit inside his head correctly.
“She was talking about pizza,” Percy choked out suddenly.
Will’s face crumpled.
“We were just walking home.” Percy’s voice grew thinner and thinner. “She laughed and then-”
He couldn’t finish.
Nico pressed one hand against the back of Percy’s head gently.
“You don’t have to talk.”
“But I should’ve saved her.”
The apartment went painfully quiet.
Percy whispered the next part like a confession.
“I didn’t even try.”
Nico pulled back just enough to force Percy to look at him.
“That is not true.”
“Yes it is.”
“You froze,” Nico snapped softly. “That is not the same thing.”
Percy looked away immediately.
Because deep down, he thought maybe it was.
Will’s phone buzzed quietly, he checked it, then he looked at Percy carefully.
“Paul’s been calling everyone.”
Percy’s stomach twisted violently.
“No.”
“Percy-”
“No.” Panic flooded him instantly. “I can’t see him.”
Nico exchanged a glance with Will.
Then he asked quietly, “Do you want him to know you’re safe?”
Percy didn’t answer.
Didn’t know how to answer.
Eventually, he nodded once.
Nico texted quickly.
Percy stared blankly at the wall while he did.
Safe.
What a stupid word.
--------------
It was almost an hour later when someone knocked softly at the apartment door.
Percy jerked violently and Nico tightened his hold immediately.
“It’s okay,” he murmured.
It wasn’t.
Will opened the door and Paul stood there looking ten years older.
His hair was soaked, his eyes were red and for one horrible second, Percy thought he hated him.
Then Paul saw him.
And broke.
“Thank God,” Paul whispered.
Percy recoiled instinctively.
“I’m sorry,” he choked out immediately. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t-”
Paul crossed the room in two steps and pulled him into a crushing hug.
Percy made a wounded sound.
“I’ve got you,” Paul whispered shakily. “I’ve got you.”
Percy started crying again instantly.
Because Paul should hate him.
He should scream.
He should blame him.
Instead, Paul held him like he was terrified Percy would disappear too.
“I tried,” Percy sobbed against his shoulder. “I tried, I tried-”
“I know.”
“No, I froze, I just stood there-”
Paul made a broken sound.
Then he pulled Percy closer.
“Listen to me,” he said shakily. “Listen to me right now.”
Percy couldn’t stop shaking.
“This was not your fault.”
The words hit like physical pain.
Percy buried his face against Paul’s shoulder and cried so hard he could barely breathe.
And Paul held him through all of it.
Even after Percy had failed the person they both loved most in the world.