Chapter Text
Jiwoo let out what seemed to be the hundredth sigh of the night.
"Do I even have to ask?"
Jiwoo turned to look at her co-worker who was also her life-time friend that was walking next to her in the parking garage to the office building they worked at. "No, you don't. It's nothing new." She said and the woman gave her a soft understanding smile.
"How has your marriage survived for so long anyway, Yooyeon? How did you do it?" The woman let out a soft huff of air. "I honestly don't know, but I'm thankful that it has held through the cracks all these years." Yooyeon said as she looked down at the ring on her finger.
The scrap of metal that really puts love at trial.
"But you and Seoyeon look so...happy. It almost seems like the picture perfect marriage." Jiwoo said and Yooyeon snorted at the absurdity of the statement. Perfect was just a word with no existence.
Nothing was ever perfect, especially marriage.
"It hasn't always been that way. There were moments back then when a single thread truly held us together for trying to be perfect. Now we learned that no marriage is perfect no matter how much you try and that it was about time we stopped forcing it to be so when it was never going to be." Yooyeon said and Jiwoo sighed.
Could that be the answer she's been looking for all along?
"I don't know what to do anymore." She said honestly and Yooyeon gave her a soft smile as they came to a stop by her car. "And I don't know what to tell you, every marriage is different. But what I can say is that you might have to stop forcing something that has been long gone and was never meant to be. You know?" Jiwoo nodded softly as Yooyeon opened the door to her car.
"Want a ride?" Yooyeon asked and Jiwoo shook her head, shooting her a smile that she hoped convinced stableness. "I'm taking the train tonight." Jiwoo said with a certain tone of voice and Yooyeon gave her a knowing look but not making a single comment. Nothing she said would take Jiwoo out the gutter of her mind.
"Okay, just be careful. It's dark out." Yooyeon said as she waved at her before slipping into her car.
Jiwoo waving back briefly before turning on her heels and walking off, looking down at her phone, where the search tab was still open like a reminder.
'How to fix a fallen marriage?'
So many responses were there, but none of them was the one she was hoping for. She was still at square one, and it seemed that she'd forever be stuck there in an endless loop she'd never break free from.
She shut her phone off as she kept walking, letting her mind wander around the topic that has been silently tearing through her for months now.
Her marriage.
The marriage that was falling apart right before her eyes, not knowing what to do to keep it up anymore. If there was even anything left to hold up.
No infidelity. No fights. No lack of intimacy. No lack of communication. And definitely no lack of effort.
None of the usual factors to failed marriages applied to them, not even the financial or mental ones that would've made total sense.
So Jiwoo was truly confused on why what once was so close to being perfect started to come crumbling down from night to day. And it seems like she'll never get an answer to that. Or maybe there was never one to begin with.
She reached the exit of the parking garage and took the turn to her left, heading to the train station that has been her solace these past few weeks. She knows her way around now.
And no, they weren't on bad terms in any means for Jiwoo to take the long way back home as if hell waited for her there. It just seems best when silence is all she's met with on most nights now.
She doesn't even remember when was the last time that a pair of warm arms were open waiting for her to arrive on late nights.
Jiwoo still believes she's saving them both from the heartbreak to a reality neither or are truly ready to face just yet.
Yubin, her wife, would be sound asleep on their bed that was starting to feel a lot colder than ice itself by the time she arrived. Allowing Jiwoo to slip away into make pretend as she held her in her arms like before without the secondary thoughts and hesitation at her fingertips.
Without seeing the look of uncertainty to the touch by Yubin, who once would've done anything to be in her arms.
And it also allowed Jiwoo to relive moments that no longer came around anymore. Moments she no longer felt anything for.
She truly hates what it has come to be now.
It always felt like standing at the altar had just happened yesterday along with their six years of marriage and promises.
But now it's all truly just a fading memory.
Jiwoo sighed once more, she wished that she could find the answer to save whatever was left within the crumbles, but even if she did, it was too late anyway.
Their love for each other alone wasn't going to be enough anymore. What were they even supposed to fight for anyway? The memories? The promises? The dreams? There was nothing truly left to fight for, and that truly broke Jiwoo's heart.
Because in all honesty, not letting go was hurting them even more but neither or knew what their life's would be like without one another. It'd be like walking for the first time again, and neither wants to go through that.
Meeting new people, finding new paths, and forming different life's. It felt impossible to do after spending so much time with one another.
They learned to live for each other.
Not without.
Jiwoo's steps were heavy against the pavement, her eyes fighting back tears, and her mind filled with never ending thoughts as she turned to the entrance of the subway.
She looked at her watch, she was minutes early. She could sit down in silence and search for answers that were further away from the reality of things and closer to what she hoped for.
She headed down the stairs quietly when suddenly two voices caught her attention making her freeze instantly. Talk about being at the wrong place at the right time?
"I am not going to argue with you, Chaeyeon." She heard the voice of a woman say, a scoff was heard echoing around the empty train station. "You never do, Nien. And maybe that's the problem because you never let me know what your thoughts are, you don't voice anything out and it irks me because I want to know what you want from me." Another woman's voice said.
The distress was unmistakable.
Jiwoo's own dilemma slipping past her mind as she carefully made it to the bottom step, not that she was nosey—peeking from the corner to where what seemed to be a couple stood by the benches, clearly having a discussion.
"Chaeyeon, I think it's best you calm down. I don't want for neither of us to say something out of anger and regret it later. Let's not hurt ourselves that way." The woman named Nien said and who seemed to be Chaeyeon let out a scoff. "Fine then, just go, Nien. If you're not going to say anything to me just leave, I'll get home by train." Nien opened her mouth to say something but Chaeyeon spoke first.
"Just go. I want to be alone right now." She turned on her heels and took a seat on one of the benches, not daring to look at Nien that let out a sigh tiredness, scratching the back of her neck before turning on her own heels and heading towards Jiwoo's direction who quickly acted like she had just arrived and didn't hear part of their discussion.
Nien zoomed up the stairs, clearly upset. And in that moment Jiwoo was thankful that the communication between her and Yubin was strong. Arguments never happened for that reason alone. Plus, she never really gave Yubin any reasons to ever be mad at her or upset.
Jiwoo looked back at Chaeyeon that was now silently crying from where she sat, obviously regretting telling Nien to leave but there was nothing she could do to reverse time.
Jiwoo felt sorry for her. She reached into her pocket and took out the small packet of tissues she carried for emergencies. Jiwoo's thoughtfulness was one of her charms, and she hopes it was what this woman needed to feel better.
She thought of going up to her for a second, should she? What if she truly wanted to be alone? But it really looks like she needed some company, even if it was silent.
Or maybe she'd just drop off the tissues and then mind her own business like she should've done from the start.
Jiwoo took a deep breath before walking towards her.
Here goes nothing.
Unaware of the drastic turn her life was going to make.