Work Text:
Reinhard saw Natsuki Subaru for the first time during the second year of middle school.
It was an ordinary day, an ordinary classroom, the ordinary bustle in the hallways. Reinhard stood by the window, waiting for the teacher to finish roll call and announce the seating arrangement. The sun shone through the windows, gilding the desks, the notebooks, the faces. The air smelled of new textbooks, freshly painted walls, and something else — that elusive sense of anticipation that only comes at the start of a new school year.
Reinhard wasn't looking for anyone. He was just looking.
And then he saw Subaru.
At first, he seemed like an ordinary guy. Ordinary looks — dark hair, average height, ordinary clothes. Nothing outstanding. Nothing that would make him linger longer than a second. He always walked with three girls — Emilia, Ram, and Rem. They were happy that they'd ended up in the same class this year, exchanging glances, smiling, chatting excitedly about something.
Reinhard didn't think about anything in particular. He was just looking.
Among his friends, only Julius was in this new class. Felt ended up in another class — she was so glad to "finally get rid of him" that Reinhard couldn't help but smile, remembering her pleased face. But he understood: she didn't actually mean it. She just liked teasing him.
So he became curious about who else was in his new class. Who would sit next to him, who he'd study with, who — maybe — he'd become friends with.
Reinhard decided to call him by his first name in his head right away. Subaru.
He was a little loud and cheerful. During breaks, his voice stood out from the general noise, and Reinhard would randomly catch snippets of his conversations. Maybe that was why Reinhard wanted to get to know him.
There was always a lot of attention on Reinhard. Even now, in this new class, many curious glances were directed at him. The girls in his class whispered among themselves, some boys looked at him with mild envy. He was used to it. He didn't pay attention.
But Subaru didn't look.
Reinhard didn't understand why that made him a little sad. Why do I even care? he thought. But he decided not to attach too much importance to it.
***
A few days after school started, Reinhard had already met the whole class. The teacher introduced him, and he nodded politely, looking over the new faces. Then he approached the group that included Subaru.
They all turned out to be very nice people. Emilia smiled at him — awkwardly, but genuinely. Ram looked at him with a hint of defiance. Rem dropped her gaze and blushed a little.
But they noticeably tensed up when he approached. Their shoulders stiffened, their voices grew quieter, and Emilia even looked away.
There was almost no conversation. Reinhard just said his name — the same way they did.
After that, he stepped away.
Reinhard sat at the second desk in the row closest to the door. Subaru sat by the window, in the first row, at the third desk. There were several meters between them — a whole classroom.
During breaks, Reinhard was always with Julius. They talked about schoolwork, sometimes just sat in silence, looking out the window. After class, he went to the track and field club — running short distances, sometimes with the team, sometimes alone.
Sometimes he saw Felt — they'd meet after school and walk home together. She teased him, complained about her class, told funny stories. Reinhard listened, smiled, sometimes replied.
Not even a week into the school year, and he'd already been named the school's top handsome student. He'd even already had a few confessions — girls from parallel classes he'd never seen before approached him after class, handed over envelopes, blushed, and ran away.
Reinhard didn't really understand why they did that. They didn't even know him. He always refused politely — gently, but firmly.
His classmates often talked about girls they liked. Who smiled at whom, who wanted to date whom, hold hands, or even kiss.
Reinhard listened and wondered: why didn't he have anyone like that?
He looked around the classroom. Looked at the girls in the front row, at those sitting by the window. None of them made him feel anything beyond an ordinary "yes, she's pretty."
Then he thought of Felt. His classmates talked about wanting to hold hands, to kiss. Reinhard didn't want any of that with Felt. She was his friend. Just a friend.
He didn't know any other girls closely.
He could tell whether a girl was beautiful or not. But he'd always thought that everyone was beautiful in their own way. It was simply a fact to him, nothing more.
For example, Emilia. She was also considered one of the most beautiful girls in school. People even confessed to her — Reinhard heard about it from classmates. But Subaru chased everyone away from her.
Oh, Reinhard thought. Looks like Subaru himself likes Emilia.
He hoped things would work out for them. They were good people. They would make a good couple.
Julius once asked him:
"Are you going to reply to that last letter? That girl from the parallel class, I hear she's very persistent."
Reinhard was surprised. He didn't even know her.
"Why would I date her?" he replied.
Julius shrugged.
"I don't know."
Reinhard said he'd refuse. As always. Why would he date someone who didn't even know him? She probably just wanted to be with him because of his looks and popularity. Reinhard didn't want that.
He refused. As always.
***
One day, he was walking home after club activities.
The sun was already setting, painting the sky pink and gold. The streets were almost empty — only a few passersby, the occasional car. Reinhard walked slowly, enjoying the silence. Thinking about tomorrow's competition, about needing to train more. His thoughts were calm, steady, undisturbed.
Then he heard noise from an alley.
At first, he thought it was just an argument. Maybe people talking loudly. But the sounds grew clearer — rough voices, sharp movements, and one voice that sounded angry, but not scared.
Reinhard looked into the alley.
And his heart trembled.
Subaru was standing there.
He didn't look scared — more annoyed. His shoulders were tense, his fists clenched. But the situation was clearly unpleasant. Three boys in a different school's uniform surrounded him. One was already holding Subaru by the collar, lifting him slightly.
A fight could break out at any moment.
Reinhard didn't think. Didn't hesitate. Didn't assess his own strength.
He walked confidently into the alley.
"That's enough," he said.
His voice was steady, calm. But there was something in it that made all four of them turn around.
Reinhard looked at the three boys. A different school's uniform, slouched postures, smug smiles. Bullies.
One of them — the one holding Subaru's collar — sneered.
"Who are you? Get lost if you don't want trouble too."
Reinhard didn't stop. He walked closer to them.
"I'd like you to let him go," he said. "There's always a way to resolve things peacefully."
A second boy crossed his arms.
"Anything else you'd like? Why don't you get out of here, pretty boy."
The third, standing slightly behind, snickered:
"Yeah, don't stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Or there won't be much left of that pretty face."
Reinhard frowned. His face remained calm, but something tightened inside him. He wasn't afraid. He didn't know what he felt.
But he walked closer. Ignoring their words.
Meanwhile, Subaru was trying to break free from the other boy's grip. His shoulders tensed, he jerked once, twice — useless.
"I'm asking you to let him go," Reinhard repeated.
One of the boys stepped forward.
"Came to save your friend or just decided to play hero? This guy said a lot of stuff to us. We're not letting him go that easily."
Subaru jerked again, looking at the boy defiantly.
"I barely bumped into you and apologized right away," he said. "What more do you want? And let go of me already."
Reinhard stepped closer. Reached out. Gently took the boy's wrist — not hard, but enough for him to feel it.
"Let him go."
The boy frowned. His face twisted with anger. He shoved Subaru — hard, roughly.
Subaru nearly fell but managed to stay on his feet. His face grew even more annoyed, but there was no fear.
"You're asking for it," the boy said, turning to Reinhard. "Now you're getting it too."
Reinhard realized a fight was inevitable.
He didn't know how to fight. Run, jump, lift weights — yes. But fight... he'd never trained for that. He had no experience. And now, against three people, he understood: if a fight started, they'd both get beaten.
He had to do something.
The other two boys had already begun to surround them. One approached from the side, the other from behind. Shadows from the streetlights fell on the walls, making their figures even more menacing.
Then Reinhard heard Subaru's quiet voice.
"Do as I say," Subaru whispered. "We have to act fast."
Reinhard looked at him anxiously. Their eyes met.
He nodded.
Subaru smiled.
And that smile — unexpected, almost defiant — made Reinhard's heart beat faster.
Then he felt someone grab his hand. Warm, tight. He realized — it was Subaru.
Subaru squeezed his hand tighter.
"Run!" he shouted.
Reinhard didn't process it immediately. But Subaru was already pulling him along, and Reinhard ran.
They ran together. Subaru in front, Reinhard behind him. Behind them, they could hear the boys' footsteps and shouts:
"Stop!"
"Get them!"
"Stop, I said!"
The voices sounded angry, but gradually grew more distant.
Reinhard looked at Subaru's back. At his hair blowing in the wind, at his shoulders moving in rhythm with the run. And at their clasped hands.
Subaru held him so tightly that Reinhard could feel the warmth of his fingers even through the fabric of his sleeve.
He felt strangely... happy.
Why? he thought. Why do I feel so good?
He couldn't explain it. Didn't want to explain it.
He just ran. And couldn't help but smile.
Subaru led them through alleys, detours — Reinhard couldn't keep track of where they were. They turned left, then right, gasping for air, feeling their hearts pounding somewhere in their throats.
Finally, they ran under a bridge.
It was quiet there. Shadows. The smell of the river and concrete. Only the distant noise of the road.
Subaru leaned tiredly against the wall. His chest heaved, his face was flushed. Reinhard stood beside him, also breathing heavily.
Subaru was still holding his hand.
Reinhard looked at their fingers, still intertwined. He somehow didn't want him to let go.
Subaru looked ahead, listening.
"Finally lost them," he breathed out. "Just hope we don't run into them again."
Reinhard nodded. Said nothing.
Subaru turned to him.
"You were actually going to fight them?" he asked. "There were three of them!"
Reinhard thought for a second.
"I didn't think about that," he replied. "I saw you needed help. I couldn't just stand by."
Subaru frowned.
"That was dangerous!"
He raised his hand — and realized he was still holding Reinhard's hand.
Subaru quickly let go. Looked away. Said quietly:
"Sorry."
Reinhard felt a little disappointed when their fingers separated. But he didn't show it. He tried not to think about it at all.
"That... thanks for standing up for me, Reinhard-san," Subaru continued.
He bowed.
"I don't know what to think when a handsome guy like you saves me."
He smiled. The smile was warm, genuine, a little shy.
Reinhard tried not to think about how warm his chest felt because Subaru thought he was handsome.
"You're always welcome, Subaru," he said.
And smiled — softer than he'd intended.
Subaru looked a little embarrassed.
"Already on a first-name basis? Alright, got it."
Reinhard nodded.
"You can call me just Reinhard too, if you want."
Subaru shook his head.
"No, no, I think it's too early for that. Calling Reinhard-san by his first name... No, not yet."
"As you like," Reinhard replied.
Subaru sat down on the ground, leaning his back against the wall. Exhaled deeply.
Reinhard looked at him with concern.
"Subaru, are you okay?" he asked. "Should I walk you home?"
Subaru blushed. Completely — his cheeks, his ears, even his neck.
"Home!?" he exclaimed. "No, thanks. I'm just a little tired, I'll get home on my own."
Reinhard thought: He blushed. Did I say something wrong? Was it too much?
"Alright, Subaru," he said.
Subaru looked around awkwardly. Then looked up at Reinhard. His gaze was embarrassed, but grateful.
"What can I do to repay you for your help?" he asked.
Reinhard was surprised.
"I didn't do anything special," he said. "You were very brave yourself. So I'm just glad you're okay."
Subaru chuckled.
"Oh man, saying things like that with your pretty face. I'm gonna lose my way."
Reinhard blinked.
"I don't really understand," he said. "But you really don't have to do anything."
"Got it," Subaru nodded. "Okay then. Thanks again."
Reinhard smiled.
"Thank you too, Subaru."
Subaru chuckled.
"You definitely don't need to thank me. I just ran away..."
Reinhard shook his head.
"No, that was a smart decision. You did everything right. You thought very quickly."
Subaru looked at him. There was surprise and slight embarrassment in his eyes.
"You don't have to praise me so much," he said. "It makes me feel awkward. But still, thanks."
He patted the ground next to him.
"Sit down, rest too."
Reinhard smiled. Sat down beside him.
"Do you even know how to fight?" Subaru asked.
Reinhard shook his head.
"No. I was going to figure it out as I went."
Subaru smiled. Then laughed.
Reinhard smiled too. And thought: His laugh is beautiful. And I like the way he smiles.
But he quickly cut off those thoughts.
"Haha," Subaru laughed. "What are you like? You don't have to help everyone right away. Though I'm not one to talk. I'm always helping everyone."
Reinhard looked at him.
"You're just very kind, Subaru."
Subaru shrugged.
"Maybe. But so are you."
He patted Reinhard's shoulder.
Reinhard thought: That's the second time Subaru has touched me. The first time he held my hand. He would remember this for a long time. He couldn't understand why it mattered so much to him.
Subaru looked at him.
"What were you even doing there? Do you live nearby?"
Reinhard nodded.
"I was walking from the club. My house is close by."
Subaru thought for a moment.
"Oh, right. That huge mansion, right? Your house."
Reinhard looked away.
"Yeah, that one," he said.
Subaru nodded.
"I see. I live nearby too."
Reinhard gathered his courage.
"Do you mind walking together?" he asked. "Since we live close."
Subaru smiled.
"Yeah, sure."
***
They walked along the evening street. The sun had already set, but it was still light. Above them — a pinkish sky, beneath their feet — wet asphalt from a recent rain.
They talked. Asked each other about interesting things, likes, what they did after school. Reinhard learned that Subaru liked reading manga, playing games, and that he laughed very loudly when he was having fun.
Subaru learned that Reinhard did track and field, liked order, and very rarely ate sweets.
They reached the alley where their paths diverged.
Subaru stopped.
"I go that way," he said.
Reinhard nodded.
"Got it. We'll part here."
Subaru smiled.
"Yeah. See you tomorrow then. At school."
Reinhard smiled.
"Yeah. See you."
Subaru walked on. Turned around. Waved goodbye.
Reinhard watched him go. Watched until his figure disappeared around the corner.
Reinhard's heart was beating fast. An unconscious smile appeared on his face.
He was very happy.
He had talked to Subaru. Now they'd be able to spend more time together.
***
And so it happened.
By the next day, Reinhard could already call Subaru his friend. Spending time with him was pleasant. He didn't expect "perfection" from Reinhard, didn't look at him as an unattainable pretty boy. He just talked — loudly, emotionally, sometimes interrupting. And Reinhard liked that.
Subaru bickered a little with Julius — but it was more friendly. They seemed to have some kind of history. Reinhard didn't want to interfere until someone told him about it.
Subaru's friends also welcomed Reinhard warmly. Emilia smiled. Ram made short, sometimes sharp remarks, but Reinhard understood that it was just her way. Rem was quiet but kind. They had known each other since childhood and lived nearby.
Reinhard thought it would be good to introduce Subaru to Felt. They would get along well.
They often walked together. Sometimes just the two of them, sometimes with Julius or Emilia. Occasionally Ram and Rem joined.
When they were alone, Subaru often talked about Emilia.
He didn't say outright, "I love her," but Reinhard could see it. How his face brightened when he said her name. How he worried about her, cared for her, protected her. How his voice grew softer.
Reinhard didn't say it out loud, but he knew: Subaru was in love with Emilia.
He thought they were well suited to each other. And he would gladly help Subaru confess to her if he asked. Cheer him on. Give advice.
But Reinhard couldn't honestly feel happy for them.
Something bothered him about it. He couldn't figure out what exactly.
After a few days, a thought came to him: maybe it was because he himself had fallen in love with Emilia?
But when he looked at her, he felt nothing special. She seemed like a kind person. Pleasant to talk to. Nothing more.
He didn't want to date her. Didn't want to kiss her. She was just beautiful and good. That was all.
So he thought: Maybe I just want to feel those kinds of emotions too? Probably that was why he couldn't feel purely happy for them.
He decided to hold onto that thought. It comforted him a little.
He considered Subaru his friend. But not like Julius or Felt.
Maybe he was his best friend. Subaru was very kind and such a good person.
But Reinhard's heartbeat quickened every time he saw Subaru. Most likely, Subaru was a special friend. Even closer than the others.
Reinhard couldn't think of another explanation.
He thought about Subaru very often.
He really wanted to ask him to go somewhere together — but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Subaru was always surrounded by people. He had many friends and acquaintances. Reinhard also rarely spent time alone, but it was hard for him to make the first move.
Sometimes Subaru invited him to eat lunch together, and they'd go to the cafeteria with the others. Sometimes Subaru asked him to help with schoolwork. Reinhard always helped.
One day, Subaru said:
"If you don't want to, you don't have to help me. You don't have to be so convenient."
Reinhard thought about it.
But in truth, he wanted to do something for Subaru. If Subaru asked him — he was ready to do a lot, just to make him happy.
A few days after the incident with the bullies, Subaru called him by his first name.
"Good morning, Reinhard," he said.
And Reinhard's heart stopped. A smile appeared on his face.
He hadn't expected to feel so flustered — and so happy.
***
Six months had passed.
Reinhard noticed that he immediately became happier when he saw Subaru.
This is Subaru. He's special, he thought.
Subaru is so kind.
Subaru doesn't expect anything special from me. Doesn't see me as an ideal.
These thoughts often came to him.
Then something happened.
They were sitting together in the schoolyard. Waiting for Julius, who had been held back by a teacher. They wanted to go for a walk together, relax after school.
Subaru was sitting close to Reinhard. If Reinhard moved a little, their shoulders would touch.
Reinhard couldn't stop thinking about it.
Subaru was playing on his phone and commenting on his actions out loud. Reinhard liked listening to his voice — even though he didn't understand half of the terms.
Subaru looked up. Looked at him.
"Sorry, I'm talking too much," he said. "You don't have to listen if it's boring."
Reinhard smiled.
"No, I find everything you say interesting, Subaru."
Subaru looked at him in surprise.
"Oh, okay then," he said. "You can keep listening. Or maybe you want to try too? I'll teach you."
"Alright, let's do that," Reinhard replied.
Subaru smiled widely. Moved closer. Their shoulders almost touched.
Reinhard looked at his phone. Subaru began explaining and showing what to do.
Reinhard listened at first. Then he realized that Subaru had leaned toward him. His face was so close. Reinhard could see every eyelash, every line of his profile.
He froze for a few seconds. Looked out of the corner of his eye. His heart beat fast. His cheeks turned slightly pink.
He has such long eyelashes, Reinhard thought.
He could smell his shampoo — simple, clean, so familiar. His head began to spin from Subaru's closeness.
Why do I feel so strange?
He looked at his lips. Thought: What are they like...
Reinhard's cheeks flushed. He quickly looked away. Tried to calm his heart.
Subaru smiled.
"Hey, you're not listening."
Reinhard looked back at the phone.
"I—I was listening," he said. "Just got distracted."
"Well, since you were listening," Subaru said, "here, you try. I've been stuck on this fight for ages."
He handed him the phone.
Reinhard took it. Looked at the screen. He'd never played these kinds of games. But he'd listened at the beginning and thought he could figure it out as he went.
He lost a couple of times. But on the third try, he cleared it easily.
Subaru stared at the screen in amazement.
"You actually cleared it... You're so cool," he said. "You saved me again. You're my hero!"
He smiled happily — and threw an arm around Reinhard's shoulder.
Reinhard felt the warmth of his arm, his side, his breath — so close.
"It's nothing special, I just—" he began.
"No, no," Subaru interrupted. "You're really amazing. Now whenever I'm stuck, I'll ask you for help. You don't mind, right?"
He smiled widely.
Reinhard thought again: he really liked that smile.
"Then I'd be happy to help you," he said.
Subaru still had his arm around Reinhard's shoulder. He kept talking happily.
Reinhard knew he was overthinking this. He didn't need to dwell on it. But Subaru was so close.
A thought flickered through Reinhard's mind:
I want to hug him too.
He quickly pushed it away.
His ears turned red.
Then they saw Emilia and Julius approaching.
Subaru perked up immediately. Got up from the bench. Walked toward them.
"Oh, Emilia-tan!" he said. "I already missed you. You're as cute as ever."
Reinhard felt a pain in his heart. Such an unpleasant feeling.
Yes, that's right. Subaru liked Emilia. She was the most important person to him. Someday they would start dating.
Reinhard couldn't understand why he disliked that so much.
Maybe something showed in his eyes, because Julius smiled softly at him and gave his shoulder an encouraging pat.
Reinhard looked at him.
"I ran into her by chance," Julius said. "She was looking for Subaru. Sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?" Reinhard asked. "I have no reason not to be happy to see Emilia-san. Quite the opposite."
Julius smiled softly.
"If you say so," he said.
Reinhard watched them. Subaru looked happy. He looked at Emilia with such a gaze that Reinhard wished he were in her place.
Reinhard saw Subaru's cheeks turn pink.
Subaru looks really cute right now, he thought.
Then he caught himself:
No, I can't think that about my friend. He's a guy. How can he be cute?
He heard Julius's quiet voice:
"What do you even see in him? I just don't get it..."
Reinhard looked at him questioningly. Julius said nothing.
Reinhard was about to ask what he meant when he heard Subaru calling them.
Reinhard's face lit up immediately. He walked over to them.
Julius just smirked at his reaction.
***
A few days passed since that situation.
Reinhard tried not to think about it. But he often returned to those thoughts.
I've never had a friend like this, he thought. Subaru really is special. I think about him all the time.
One day, they stopped by a store — together with Julius, Subaru, Felix, and Felt.
Reinhard rarely went to stores. He carefully studied what was there. Walked past shelves of vegetables, bread, drinks.
He stopped near the ice cream.
He looked at the colorful packages and thought: What should I choose? I don't even know what flavors exist.
Then he heard Subaru's voice.
"Can't decide?" Subaru asked. "Me neither."
Reinhard looked at him.
Subaru smiled.
"You know, there's this really tasty one."
He opened the freezer. Took out a chocolate ice cream in a bright package.
"Here, try it," he said, holding it out to Reinhard. "It's definitely good. You can trust me."
Then he froze.
"Actually, wait..."
He took the ice cream back.
Their fingers brushed.
Reinhard felt goosebumps run all over his body. He felt the warmth of Subaru's fingers spread through his hand, his shoulder, his chest.
Subaru, not noticing his reaction, took out another one just like it.
"I'll buy it for you," he said. "If you like it, next time you can buy it yourself. But this time, I'm treating you."
Reinhard was surprised.
"You don't have to, Subaru, I—" he began.
Subaru cut him off. Put the ice cream in the basket.
"No. I'm buying it for you. You looked a little sad. Let me cheer you up."
He smiled widely.
Reinhard stared again. At his face, his smile, his eyes. Warmth spread inside him.
Subaru noticed, Reinhard thought. He's always so attentive.
"Okay," he said. "Thank you very much."
Subaru didn't ask what was wrong. Didn't make him talk. He just bought the ice cream and handed it to him.
Reinhard took a bite.
The taste was rich, sweet, warm. He would remember it forever — just like Subaru's face that day.
***
One day in home economics class, they were split into groups.
Reinhard was in a group with Felt and Julius. Subaru was with Emilia and the twins.
Reinhard kept glancing in their direction.
That apron really suits Subaru, he thought. Very cute.
He noticed that Subaru wasn't good at cooking. He chopped vegetables slowly, sometimes frowned at the recipe.
I'd make him a bento if he wanted.
Then he saw Subaru almost cut himself with the knife. Rem took his hand — gently, carefully, tenderly.
Reinhard felt that unpleasant feeling again. It squeezed his chest, made his heart beat faster.
She took his hand. Reinhard also wanted to take his hand.
He looked at Rem and felt they had something in common. He couldn't figure out what it was.
Rem looked in his direction. Her gaze was serious, knowing. She seemed to know more than Reinhard himself did.
Their eyes met.
Then she turned her attention back to Subaru.
Reinhard saw Felt come stand beside him.
"Why are you staring at him so intently?" she asked.
Reinhard looked at her.
"At who?"
"At Subaru. You're watching him so closely."
Reinhard felt his cheeks redden slightly.
"I'm just worried about him," he said.
Felt frowned.
"He's not a little kid, you don't need to watch him like that."
"He's my friend, I'm concerned," Reinhard replied.
Felt sighed.
"Just a friend? Are you sure about that yourself?"
Reinhard looked at her. Didn't understand.
"Yes, a friend," he said. "A very close one."
Felt smirked.
"Right," she said. "Then don't be too obvious. It'll be awkward if he notices."
Reinhard still looked at her uncomprehendingly.
Felt patted him on the shoulder and walked away.
As she left, she said quietly:
"You don't look at 'just friends' with eyes like that... What do you even see in him?"
Reinhard didn't hear.
***
Lately, his mind had been more and more consumed by thoughts of Subaru. He couldn't shake them off.
They came to him in the morning when he opened his eyes. During class when he sat looking at Subaru's back. In the evening before bed, when nothing else distracted him.
Subaru bought me chocolate ice cream. It's my favorite flavor now.
Subaru said I don't always have to get good grades.
Subaru told me to just be myself around him.
Subaru said I'm handsome.
Subaru patted my head. I was so happy.
He said he doesn't care about my popularity.
Subaru is so cute.
Subaru let me try some of his lunch. Then he blushed when he fed me with his own chopsticks.
Subaru said he sometimes gets lost in my eyes. Is that a good thing?
Subaru asked me to go to the store with him after school.
Subaru has such a beautiful smile.
He cheered for me at the competition. I think I won because of his support.
After that, he hugged me. I felt strange.
Subaru blushes really cutely.
Subaru said he's glad we're friends. I was really happy too.
I treated Subaru to some chocolate I had too much of after Valentine's Day. He was so happy.
Subaru said I look like a puppy. Is that a compliment?
Subaru said he'd like to go to the same high school as me. Me too.
Subaru was so happy when I said I wanted the same. If Subaru is happy, then I'm happy too.
Subaru is very brave and always helps people. I like that about him.
Subaru said he likes having lunch with me.
Subaru is beautiful.
I like watching Subaru blush. It's really cute.
Subaru...
These thoughts gave him no peace. Reinhard fell asleep and woke up with them.
Was it strange to think about his friend like this? Reinhard didn't know anymore.
Looking back now, he thought that it had all really started then. During that conversation.
That was when the first thought of possible... non-friendly feelings had crossed Reinhard's mind.
Yes, of course, he'd immediately brushed that thought away. But the fact that it had existed at all remained.
***
Early spring. The second year of middle school would soon be over.
It was P.E. class. The boys' locker room.
Reinhard was changing calmly. He usually didn't look around.
But this time was a little different.
Beside him stood Subaru.
Reinhard didn't want to look. He turned away, started searching for something in his bag. But out of the corner of his eye — accidentally? not accidentally? — he saw.
Reinhard's cheeks turned red.
He glanced at him quickly. Couldn't make himself look away.
Was it normal to like what he saw?
No, he didn't like it. Not at all. He was just glad that Subaru looked healthy.
His heart pounded wildly. He really didn't want to look away.
Reinhard didn't know what he felt. Didn't know how to react.
Subaru was his best friend.
But this is Subaru. He's special. That was his most frequent thought.
Subaru was special. No other friend had ever made him feel this way.
Then why? Why did he want so badly to look at Subaru again?
Reinhard wouldn't stare — that would be rude. Sneaking glances would be, too.
He started looking for something in his bag again. Rearranging things, though he knew everything was in its place.
When he stood up and decided to leave, his gaze unconsciously fell on Subaru again.
Subaru was already in his track jacket and was about to change his pants.
Reinhard turned crimson.
No, this is too much, he thought.
He hurried out of the locker room.
His face was burning. His heart pounded somewhere in his throat. He hoped he'd just gotten too warm.
He diligently tried to push the image of Subaru out of his head. It didn't work.
Why was he so flustered?
Reinhard waited for Subaru. He felt a little awkward and ashamed to see him.
Many guys talked about wanting to catch a girl in such a situation. Reinhard didn't want any of that.
But Subaru...
Yes, he was different. That was all. No need to make up anything else.
Reinhard repeated this in his head. He felt like he was desperately trying to convince himself.
Then why did he feel so satisfied deep down?
The answer to that question would only come in high school.
When Subaru came back, Reinhard looked at him with embarrassment. Subaru smiled.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
Reinhard froze.
He felt deeply ashamed of himself.
It was wrong to look at him like that. Wrong to think about him like that. Wrong to want to be in Emilia's place. Wrong to want to hold Subaru's hand. Wrong to want to truly hug him — not just throw an arm around his shoulder.
Wrong.
Wrong.
They were just friends.
But then why did those words hurt Reinhard so much?
What else could they be to each other if not friends?
Subaru looked at him with concern.
"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" he asked. "Your face is really red. Maybe you have a fever? Let me check."
He touched Reinhard's forehead with his palm.
Reinhard flinched. Looked at Subaru.
Subaru concentrated, comparing the temperature by placing his other palm on his own forehead.
"No, seems fine," he said. "That's good."
He lowered his hand.
"Though, it is a bit warm in here. Let's go outside? We have time before class."
Reinhard didn't answer. Just nodded.
He obediently followed Subaru.
***
They stood in the schoolyard. Watched people passing by.
Reinhard had almost calmed down. The heat had finally left his face. A pleasant breeze was blowing outside, and Reinhard felt himself beginning to relax.
Being near Subaru was always very pleasant.
Subaru said quietly:
"Don't pretend you're okay if you're not feeling well."
Reinhard was surprised. Looked at him.
"It's not like that," he said. "I just felt a little suffocated."
Subaru shook his head.
"I wasn't just talking about this situation. I meant — in general. You take on too much."
He looked at Reinhard.
"With me, you can just be yourself," he said. "And stop trying to be perfect. You're an ordinary guy, just like me."
Reinhard looked at him. Couldn't look away.
"I like spending time with you," Subaru added.
Reinhard was genuinely astonished.
How do you figure everything out so quickly? he thought.
Goosebumps ran down his body. His heart started pounding wildly again.
Subaru really was an unusual person.
That dangerous thought crossed Reinhard's mind — the one he never wanted to think.
Subaru, he...
Or maybe this is lo—
Reinhard forced himself to stop thinking about it.
Out loud, he said:
"I understand. Thank you, Subaru."
And smiled — softly, warmly.
Subaru laughed.
"Haha, you're always welcome. Who else is going to tell you what they really think? Other than Felt."
Reinhard looked at him. At his smile.
"What?" Subaru asked. "You've got such a look on your face right now... I don't know how to describe it. Never mind."
He lightly ruffled Reinhard's hair.
"Come on, let's go to class. Or we'll be late."
Reinhard blushed. Didn't immediately hear his words. His mind was full of the thought of Subaru patting his head.
He touched his own hair. Smoothing it slightly.
"Reinhard?" Subaru called. "Coming?"
Reinhard snapped out of it. Hurried to catch up.
Subaru smiled.
"You totally lit up," he said. "Want me to pat your head again?"
Reinhard looked at him, flustered.
"If you don't mind," he said.
Subaru smirked. Patted his head again. This time — more gently, slowly, as if it were something important.
Reinhard felt his heart stop.
"Look at how pleased you are," Subaru said. "Just like a puppy."
Reinhard was smiling. Feeling strangely happy.
Subaru looked at his face. Then quickly looked away.
Reinhard didn't quite understand his reaction.
"Come on, let's go," Subaru said.
And walked ahead.
Reinhard noticed that Subaru's ears were slightly red.
Why did Subaru get embarrassed? Reinhard wondered. He never figured it out.
But Subaru had simply felt awkward under Reinhard's intense gaze and his happy face.
***
And now Reinhard stood in front of Subaru. In his hands — a small box of chocolate.
He had wanted to cheer up his very close friend.
But Reinhard had no way of knowing Subaru's reaction to his gift.
Just as he couldn't have known how much Subaru's question would completely turn his feelings upside down.
"Wait, you're not in love with me or something?"
That question. Even said as a joke, it affected Reinhard so strongly.
And Reinhard began to understand.
Yes, maybe he was.
Maybe he really had fallen in love with Subaru.
But was he allowed to feel this way about him... about another guy?