Chapter Text
Grace knew what he was risking by never returning to Earth and joining Erid. Malnutrition, the change in gravity on Rocky’s planet, and above all, loneliness. Oh, loneliness was like an old friend. All his life, he had been relatively alone. As Stratt had so kindly reminded him on that terrible, damned day, he had no one.
Except for Rocky.
That all-too-frank alien was now his only means of not going mad in the Hail Mary. Their friendship was the best thing that had ever happened to him. And Grace would have sacrificed everything for him—if he hadn’t already—but, and the scientist was saying this with all the love in the world, Rocky could not replace a human. Not being able to touch his best friend directly, and being forced to remain eternally separated by a thin barrier of xenonite, made his heart clench every time those thoughts ventured into that realm.
Grace did his best not to think too much about Earth, about Carl, about the children he’d left behind—abandoned, he sometimes told himself—and threw himself as best he could into his research, at his computer, in the lab. Rocky worried, and rightly so, but the alien sometimes didn’t understand Grace’s tangled emotions. Grace himself didn’t have the faith to try to understand them, most of the time.
After a while, even the images shown in the projection room had started to make him sick. The forests, the city, and even the beach created a void within him—a void he knew full well he was incapable of filling. Homesickness was never a good feeling, especially when said-home was 12 light-years away.
The journey to Erid had been tough. Sure, Grace had three times as much food, being the sole survivor of the mission, but that same mission had also been planned as a one-way trip. Over the past two years, he’d had to severely ration his food, even going so far as to eat taumoeba. He never wanted to go through that again.
Fortunately, Rocky had been a huge help, especially mentally. Grace knew that without him, he would have died many times over, and the entire Earth along with him. Rocky had saved his world, just as he had saved Rocky’s. The Hail Mary’s database was also a huge help. Watching movies all day long kept him busy enough that he didn’t start whining about his miserable fate.
Once he arrived on Erid and settled comfortably into his small biodome shrouded in eternal fog, Grace had established his routine quickly. Whether on Earth, in a spaceship, or on an alien planet, he always needed a routine.
Before long, teaching a class of Eridians eager to learn had helped ease his loneliness. They reminded him of his own kids, but with a gentle sense of nostalgia rather than bitterness. And talking endlessly about science made him happy, no matter where he was.
Moreover, regular visits from Rocky and Adrian—with whom Grace could be a total nerd—always brought him comfort.
Nevertheless, Grace had come to terms with the idea that he would never again have the chance to see another human, to interact with someone of his own kind, or to feel warm skin against his own.
He had made peace with that.
But he knew full well that it was another lie, and Simon’s arrival confirmed it.