Chapter Text
Something had been off lately. For a while actually. Months even.
Zooble had no idea exactly what it was, nor why, but they’d felt simply wrong for far too long. At first it felt like the same itch that their parts would gain if not switched out for more than a day or two. But it didn’t go away like that itch did. Instead it grew, burrowing deeper and growing into a gnawing sense of unease.
Although they had no mouth they felt nauseous near constantly. And with no way to throw up, their stomach churned endlessly. Their body ached in ways it usually didn’t. They felt tired and hungry. Sleep and food were usually unnecessary or skippable, but now Zooble felt as if they simply couldn’t go without.
And the strangest thing to top it all off was that they were somehow gaining weight. Sure it was possible on the more human models like Ragatha or Pomni or even Jax. But for Zooble, nothing like this had ever occurred before. Their plastic body grew somewhat plush and more malleable, just a little chubby.
Of course, Gangle loved it to bits and assured them as such vehemently. She’d snuggle up to them and press her face against their tummy lovingly. Although Zooble was confused about the whole thing, they wouldn’t deny that they appreciated the extra affections. Their changing body was uncomfortable and rather concerning, but Gangle’s compliments made it feel less so.
It all built to a head eventually. And Zooble was in for quite the surprise.
They sat on their bed, absently doodling in a sketch book Gangle had lent them. Nobody else was around, they’d skipped out on today’s adventure with the excuse of feeling tired. It wasn’t truly a lie, they really were tired. But they mostly just wanted to sit in their room and relax today. They had quite the headache to top it all off, and they honestly couldn’t be bothered to deal with anyone else today.
Zooble’s doodles ranged from star shapes to rough human faces to a few random repeating mandalas. They always found those relaxing to draw. The repetition was calming. They vaguely remembered tattooing a few.
They yawned and scratched absently at the side of their head with their unoccupied hand. The sketchbook was propped on their legs as they sat criss-cross.
Then Zooble froze. A new, strange sensation gave them pause. It felt like a fluttering deep in their gut. Not nausea. Not hunger. A movement. Like something was… inside them.
“Uhh..” They set down the pencil, brows knitting with worry. It had only lasted a moment or two, but it was unlike any feeling they’d ever experienced before. “What the f##k was that..?” Zooble looked down at their rounded stomach, confused. Their right hand hovered over it, their eyes turning into small pinpricks.
What the fuck. What the fuck??
But then the sensation was gone, as if it had never even happened. A ghost of its feeling tugged at the back of their mind. “That was… weird,” they mumbled, setting their things down and sliding off of the bed. Now they just felt uncomfortable and wrong. Their joints cracked and popped as they stretched their arms out in front of them. The ache in their body persisted, but they’d grown used to it now. Now thoroughly confused and a bit unnerved, they had to move and distract themselves. Too much thinking in their room made odd things happen. That had to have just been one of those things. At least, they really hoped this was just in their head.
They went over to their parts box, huffing as they leaned over to grab a new arm. Their gloved hand plunged into the box with reckless abandon, just grabbing for anything. Their fingers brushed a smooth, cool material and they grabbed it. What they pulled out was a metallic, robot-like clawed hand.
“Sweet,” their eyes crinkled slightly at the sight of it. They unplugged their left arm, swapping it for the new one. They rolled their shoulder to pop the joint further into the socket, sighing as it slid into place smoothly for once. So many of these stupid arms and legs had bumpy or scratchy connection points, as if their plastic molds were misaligned or not poured properly.
Zooble reassessed the rest of their body, and aside from the pit of anxiety in their stomach, they felt relatively normal compared to the past few weeks. The nausea had died down, though they had no idea why. None of their other parts were uncomfortable enough to replace yet, so they left the others.
They turned to leave, but caught their gaze on the amalgam in the mirror.
“Ugh…” Zooble narrowed their eyes and grabbed at their stomach with their new hand near their side. They’d really gotten fat. They were pudgy around the edges, though their stomach still felt mostly hard. While they didn’t exactly hate the weight gain, it felt wrong. They already despised the avatar they were stuck with, and now it was betraying them for no apparent reason. They hadn’t done anything wrong. Their grip tightened around the spotted, plastic-like flesh. They squeezed until their claws dug in. Only when it began to actually hurt did they finally relent and release their hold. “Stupid goddamn avatar,” the toybox character grumbled, folding their arms over their chest and breaking eye contact with the mirror.
Caine must’ve updated something, there must be something wrong in the code. This couldn’t be normal. But if that was the case, then why in the world was it only affecting them? Was this some culmination of his distaste for them? Punishing them by changing their body and making them suffer mild, yet almost debilitating symptoms? No, that would be stupid. Zooble groaned and shook their head. Their mind just wouldn’t shut up today.
They’d had enough of moping in their room. With one last huff, the amalgam shambled out of their room and down the hallway, eyes narrowed against the bright technicolor of the circus as they walked. They grumbled censored expletives under their breath as they tried to find somewhere else to wander to. Though they weren’t much for physical activity, they needed to walk to get their mind off of whatever had happened in their room. They hoped it was a fluke, they really hoped it was. Because they didn’t even want to try to entertain what it might’ve been otherwise.
Zooble occupied themselves with wandering up to the cafe at the top of the tent. Though by the time they finally made it up all of the stairs, they were huffing and puffing as if they’d run a marathon.
“F##k I’m.. I’m really out of shape,” They leaned against the doorway, trying to catch their breath as their heart raced in the plastic cage of their chest. With all the time they’d wasted climbing the stairs, the rest of the cast might already be back from their adventure. They didn’t give much of a shit about that though, the last thing they felt like doing was dealing with that crew. Though Gangle wasn’t bad company. Zooble straightened up and pushed off of the wall, sighing as they walked further into the cafe. Soft, royalty free music greeted them as they began to peruse the low-poly pastries. They grabbed a small cupcake. It was your stereotypical cartoon cupcake with pink frosting and a perfect little cherry on top. They peeled the wrapper off, discarding it on the counter as they held the treat up to where their mouth should be and felt the sugary treat melt on their tongue. From the outside, one would’ve just seen a bite disappear from the pastry as if by magic. The toybox character slid onto one of the stools and let their form slump against the counter as they munched listlessly on the cupcake. They let their eyes fall closed for a moment, simply trying to enjoy the serenity of this little place. They were so very tired.
“Is something the matter?” A chipper voice startled them out of their chair.
“JESUS!!” Zooble screamed, falling onto the floor with a loud clatter. Their draconic wing popped from its socket alongside their left antenna. Their heart was running a mile a minute all over again, their eyes wide and panicked.
“Oh!! I’m sorry to have startled you, my friend!” Caine peered down at them from the stool he’d spawned himself in when they hadn’t been looking. His big eyes blinked at Zooble as if they were a bug in a jar.
“You- You can’t just teleport next to people like that!” Zooble’s voice was much more spirited than usual. But they were certain they had every right to be especially pissed. “Walk around like a normal person!” They began to plug their parts back in, sitting up with a grunt. Zooble’s backside stung from the impact with the hard floor.
“But I’m not a person,” he stated simply, expression unchanging.
“You know what I mean! Just- Just don’t be so …unsettling,” Zooble pulled themselves back up and onto the stool, breathing a little harder with the increased effort of the task.
“I don’t know what you mean- please enlighten me,” Caine leaned in uncomfortably close. Zooble scooted away from him.
“Ugh,” they just rolled their eyes. They attempted to reach for their previously forgotten cupcake, only to find it had been thrown halfway across the cafe when they had fallen. “Goddamn it,” despite the simplicity of the situation, they felt tears of frustration well behind their eyes. They never cried, especially not over something like a cupcake they didn’t get to finish. But they really did feel like crying all of the sudden.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
They hadn’t experienced this sort of random hormonal fluctuation since they were human. And even then it was so much smaller and less impactful than this.
Zooble tightened their hands into fists, the plastic of their fingers creaking under the pressure.
“What in the world is troubling you, my melodramatic mismatch?” Caine asked, adding as much concern to his tone as an artificial intelligence could. Zooble narrowed their eyes at him, antenna twitching with barely concealed rage. “You know that I aim to please, you can tell me anything!” He chirped, teeth curving up into a smile of sorts. They stared at him for a long moment, shoulders slumped in mild defeat.
Would telling him even help anything?
Zooble relented with a sigh. Maybe it was worth a shot. What harm could trying bring?
“Did you… Update anything in the circus code lately..?” They carefully probed the waters, setting their hands on the counter and threading their fingers together. They’d worn two human-adjacent hands today. Caine tapped his bottom set of teeth.
“Update… Update…” He ran through his memory banks as quickly as he could. “No! No updates. Not recently anyways,” Caine hummed, putting his hands on the counter to mimic Zooble. It was unclear if it was a conscious movement or not. “Though… I do have something queued!” Zooble raised a brow.
“What is it..?” They urged him onward, leaning slightly closer. Caine seemed to light up at the idea that Zooble might be interested in the inner-workings of the circus. He gladly continued.
“A new NPC will be joining us in the circus!” He stated, clapping his hands together with excitement. Zooble groaned.
“Is it another stupid one like Ming?” They spat the name in a mocking tone, sitting back on their chair and staring at the wall across the counter.
“Oh no no no! I didn’t make this one, you silly goose!” He chided, as if Zooble could’ve possibly known that. They rolled their eyes again. Caine leaned closer, eyes big and blinking as he tried to urge Zooble to speak with him more. They groaned when they realized he wouldn’t leave them alone.
“Ugh. Fine. Who made this one?” They rested their head on their palm and waved dismissively for him to continue. But that hadn’t been what Caine was expecting. He stared at them, owl-eyed for a moment before his processors seemed to refresh.
“Do you- Do you not know?” Caine tilted his freakish head to one side.
“Wh- Why the f##k would I know??” Zooble gestured to him wildly, now both frustrated and confused.
“Profanity!” He scolded, tapping Zooble on the head with his cane.
“Agh! Don’t touch me!” They snapped, swatting at him and hopping off their stool to walk away from the annoying ringmaster.
“But- But Zooble!” Caine frantically fumbled after the amalgam. “Zooble wait!” He snapped himself in front of them and held his arms out wide to stop them. Zooble paused and glared at him. Their antenna twitched wildly and their gaze alone could ignite a fire.
“What.” They practically growled out the word.
“You- You made this NPC!” Caine attempted to explain, droplets of cartoon sweat appearing from nowhere as he tried his best.
“Are you insane?! I didn’t make any stupid f###ing NPC!” Zooble pushed past him, shouldering his much smaller body out of the way easily. He bumped into the wall and bounced, shaking his head before he called one last time after Zooble.
“The NPC you made with Gangle!”
Those words settled like stones in their gut. Their heart skipped a beat.
What. What the fuck.
Zooble froze in their tracks.
With Gangle…
With Gangle.
His words echoed in their mind.
Their gaze fell to their stomach. Their shoulders shook and their pupils shrank to almost nothing. The edges of their vision grew fuzzy.
Now it all made sense. The need to vomit, the mood swings, the desire for food and sleep, the weight gain. Of course, it had been in their face the whole time. They had been so damn stupid. They’d become some incubator for some… thing that wasn’t even human. What kind of hellish existence was that?
They didn’t speak for nearly a whole minute. Caine looked like he was sweating through his suit with nerves.
No. No no no. This can’t be happening to me. What did I do to be punished like this? Why? Why me?
…
There has to be a way to get rid of it.
Zooble’s gut curled with disgust, nausea bubbling up their plastic throat. Their intestines were full of parasites, they could feel vicious teeth digging into their organs. They were certain it was going to dig its way out of them, leaving behind their viscera in its wake. If this… This thing wasn’t expelled, they’d surely die. Their body was already a prison, they wouldn’t let it be the end of them. They didn’t want to die.
“Caine…?” Zooble’s voice was low and quiet.
“Y-Yes…?” Caine wrung his hands together.
“Can…” Their voice hitched, as if on the edge of tears. They were stronger than that, this wouldn’t get them emotional. They weren’t thinking as clearly as they thought they were. They clenched their hands into fists at their sides to attempt to steady themself. “Can this be undone?” Zooble finally said it. The silence that sat between them was thick.
“What..?” Caine floated a little closer, the AI seemed truly concerned in some way or another even if his emotions weren’t true.
“Can you get rid of it?!” They shouted, whirling on him in an instant and nearly startling the ringmaster halfway across the circus. Their body was heaving, their breathing ragged. Their eyes were unfocused and crazed like a wild animal, and if Caine didn’t know any better he would’ve said they had tears in their eyes.
“I-I- Uhm-” Caine stuttered. He had no idea how to placate them. “I-I can try!” He smiled weakly and offered his hands palms-up in a gesture of goodwill. Zooble sighed shakily in what must have been relief.
“Thank god. Do it, do it now,” they still looked very frazzled, but they were calmer. This could be dealt with. It would be gone with a snap and nobody would ever know. Not even Gangle herself.
Gangle.
Oh god - would she want to know..?
Would she have wanted something like this..?
But it was too late for any second thoughts. Caine flicked through a few screens in his internal processors, finding the queued update, and with one definitive snap of his fingers, canceled it. The two stared at each other for a moment.
“That should’ve fixed it!” He smiled, happy to have assisted a human.
“Oh.. But I don’t- AUGH!” Zooble’s insides were suddenly wracked with indescribable pain. Every cell of their plastic body felt like it was on fire. The parasites were eating them alive. This was it. They clattered to the ground with their arms hugging their middle. They tried to hold back the noises that came from their vessel, but it hurt too much. They screamed in utter anguish, their wail echoing against the walls.
“AH! No no no, I’m sorry!” Caine waved his hands frantically. Every fiber of his being needed to fix this. He did the first thing he could think of. A command was executed on his internal console. CTRL Z.
The agony ceased as quickly as it arrived.
Zooble took in a loud gasping breath. They stumbled blindly through their next words as they tried to get up off of the floor.
“Holy s##t- oh my god- what- what the f##k did you do to me?!” Their eyes weren’t full of anger. They were full of fear. So, so much fear. Their legs trembled and clacked as they stood up, nearly unable to hold up the weight of their own body.
“I-I don’t know! I just tried to cancel the update!” Caine felt absolutely awful, he had caused pain to a human, something his code specifically forbade him to do.
Zooble took an unsteady step backwards, their eyes unfocused. A pathetic laugh was pulling from their vessel. They were fucked. They stared at their hands, chest heaving wildly as if they couldn’t breathe. Caine had seen this look on humans before. It didn’t bode well. Finally, they looked at him again.
“You… You can’t get rid of it, can you?” Their voice sounded defeated. Caine simply shook his head. If a toy could grow pale, this one certainly did. Zooble turned and began to walk back down the stairs. Their legs moved of their own accord, one in front of the other, step after step, disconnected from their brain. They didn’t even realize they were having a panic attack. They were too busy trying to undo what had already been done. They wanted to throw themselves down the almost never-ending flight of stairs.
Would that even solve anything..?
The seed of its awful existence had buried into their most intimate organs and it had lived there, growing and extending its roots deeper into their body. Worst of all, they had no idea it had been happening. They’d chosen to remain ignorant and hope it was nothing. They felt as if it would burst from their body at any moment, an awful, mutated thing made of tumors and unfinished flesh. It couldn’t be expelled from their body even by a digital god, what good would hurting themselves do?
I’m dead.
Oh god, I’m dead.
They were certain of it.
Unsteady plastic hit the checkered floor of the circus floor. They needed to get far away, they needed to get away from everyone, from her. They’d let it kill them, but they wouldn’t let it hurt her.
Zooble barely registered the loud voice of the ringmaster in the main hall. The others were back. They walked faster, willing their stupid tired body to bring them just far enough to keep the others safe. It was pathetic really, crawling towards some dark corner like a sick cat to die alone.
Their arms felt full of static as they pulled open one of the random doors lining the outside of the circus walls. This one was a flat, empty grey room. It was good enough, they supposed. They walked inside and shut the door behind them. Zooble popped off their right arm and propped it against the handle to keep the door closed. If this was it, they didn’t want anyone else to discover their fate.
Another fluttering in their gut burst the dam of tears behind their mismatched eyes.
I really am a freak, aren’t I?
Wetness cascaded down their face as they collapsed to their knees, sobbing uselessly into the silence of their solitary confinement. The comforting numbness of the static on their arms was their only solace that it would soon be over. It creeped up their elbow and across their shoulders, up their neck and caressed their face. It began at their feet and climbed up their legs, across their torso, slowly enveloping them. They wouldn’t have to feel it rip its way out of their guts, they wouldn’t have to feel any of it anymore. The lack of feeling was so, so very comforting. Their eyes crinkled into a smile as the tears kept coming.
It wasn’t so bad afterall.