Chapter Text
Kurt knew he was hot shit.
From all the flirtatious glances and winks he got, he was so sure of himself. It was the first time in a while that he had went to a gay bar, and the men were great. Better than Lima's. Way better than Lima's. He knew his life couldn't get much better than this.
But knowing his insane, twisted life, he knew something would go wrong eventually. Maybe he would get a super rare illness, or worse: listen to Mr. Schue's rapping. So, he knew to hold on to what he knew dearest as tight as he could. Even his mind. Especially his mind.
If there was ever a night for things to go wrong, it would be tonight. Nothing seemed to go right whenever he went to a gay bar. He knew that from last time, when he went to Scandals as a senior in high school. With Sebastian and Blaine.. yikes.
It was not the time to think about either of them. Especially Blaine. He could spend a lifetime thinking about anything else other than him and his hair with so much hair gel he could supply a barber shop, who smelled like raspberry, who used to be so cool..
Enough. This was his night, his night to have all the fun he could and fall asleep in a strangers bed.
With that thought in mind, he decided to approach a stranger. He hadn't seen the man’s face, but he had appreciated his height and build enough to fall into his bed.
He wore a flirtatious smile, and tapped said man's shoulder. "Hey, there," he greeted, his head tilted. And the man's head turned as Kurt watched, eager to see his face. He had to be handsome, he thought. Who would have such a build and not be handsome.
Fortunately for him, the man was handsome. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly the face he wanted to see.
Sebastian. Sebastian Smythe. One of the two men he never wanted to see again. How could the world betray him like this? He had been so good!
"Hummel, is that you?" Sebastian asked, though it seemed like he already knew the answer, based off of his wide grin. "Wow, it's been a while, hasn't it?"
Kurt was pissed. How dare he act so friendly after everything? "It is me." he replied, his smile completely wiped of his face and the planet Earth. "And yes, it's been such a long time."
He took a couple steps back. "But I'm thinking it was too short, so if you excuse me.."
The damned chipmunk wouldn't even let him leave. "Now wait a minute!" he exclaimed. "You can't leave now, we have so much to talk about." he persevered. God, give him a break.
Kurt shook his head. "No, I don't think we do." he insisted. But this horse-teethed, chipmunk man would not let this happen, it seemed, as he shook his own head in return.
"I insist."
"I aswell. Please go away."
"Kurt, please just hear me out," Sebastian pleaded, and this made Kurt pause. Now why was he acting so serious? He wasn't sure he had ever even heard Sebastian utter the word 'please' in the dreaded times they had spoken.
"…Okay, fine. I'm hearing you out." Kurt muttered, slightly embarrassed that he gave in just to some simple begging. He pulled a bar stool aside, sitting, and Sebastian had done the same.
"I just want to apologize," Sebastian began, which surprised Kurt even more. "For all the shit I did. Since Karofsky, I tried to turn a new leaf. And I did, for the most part. I made friends with the Warblers, and left your boyfriend alone."
That made Kurt flinch. No, he was not dating the hobbit anymore. Never in a million years would he consider it again. But he let Sebastian continue on with his monologue.
"But back to what I was saying, I know I made your senior year way more difficult than you deserve. And for that, I'm sorry." Sebastian looked notably nervous, and he couldn't even meet Kurt's eye.
Kurt sighed. "Sebastian.. it-it's gonna be a little complicated for me to instantly forgive you, but thank you for the apology."
"..You're welcome. I've been practicing," Sebastian admitted, albeit sheepishly.
"You've been practicing?" Kurt repeated, confused.
"Yeah. In case I ever saw you again, I thought of how to apologize to you and what to say and everything. Speaking of, I have to ask you something. It's been on my mind for years. Literally." Sebastian rambled on.
"..Go on."
"What does Craigslist smell like?"
"..Excuse me?"
"You know what I'm talking about. The Lima Bean. You told me I smelled like Craigslist. Please, I need to know what it smells like. I've lost sleep over it," Sebastian said with a big frown which Kurt couldn't take seriously.
"I don't know, actually. It was all I could come up with because I was blinded, and apparently silenced, by rage." Kurt replied, and that smile he had lost returned.
"You lost sleep over it?" he asked, smile growing wider.
Sebastian sighed theatrically. "Yes. You had me stressed. I was losing my mind. I really need to know." he was practically begging. To know what Craigslist smelled like.
Kurt replied with a quiet 'hmm', his head tilted. "Well, I'd say it smells like.. Goodwill. Sort of. Goodwill with a mix of prep school boy angst and a croissant," he teased, saying the word ‘croissant’ with a purposefully terrible French accent.
"Oh my god, never speak like that again," Sebastian said, comically offended. "Imagine how many French people would want your head on a spike after hearing that god awful excuse of an accent." he lamented, which made Kurt laugh.
"Well, I think it was great," Kurt exaggerated, holding a hand to his chest. "You don't speak for the entire French population. Especially since you aren't in France anymore." he commented.
Sebastian himself had laughed. "There's something else I gotta ask you," he said, his expression turning serious once more. "When I brought up Blaine, you looked.. different. Like you looked sad," he stammered. "Did something go on between you two?"
Kurt frowned. He assumed that Sebastian either didn't notice his face when Blaine was brought up, or simply didn't care.
"Well, I'll be blunt with you. Me and Blaine are no longer together. He cheated on me not much longer after I moved to New York." he explained as emotionlessly as he could.
Sebastian scoffed. "No way! Blanderson cheated on you? You're joking." He looked confused for some reason.
"'Blanderson'? I thought you were going after him?" Kurt now was confused.
"..Yeah, to annoy you. I thought he was really boring, actually." Sebastian replied casually. "How could someone like him cheat on someone like you? Usually it would be the other way around—"
"Wait. So you were going after him to annoy me?"
Sebastian had the dignity to look embarrassed. "Yes. You were so easy to piss off, and it was really fun to a 17 year old me, okay?"
Kurt needed a fucking break. First he learns that Sebastian was practicing a stupid apology for him, and now he learns that he was only trying to take Blaine to get a reaction out of him?
"That doesn't even make any sense," Kurt pointed out. "You could do that without trying to take my boyfriend."
"That was the only way I knew how. And Blaine was.. really easy. Leave him unsupervised and he goes to a different guy immediately," Sebastian joked.
Kurt glared at him. "You know, maybe I shouldn't have heard you out," he said, already off of the bar stool and standing up. "You never did change, did you?" he accused.
Sebastian's eyes widened. "Kurt, wait," he replied, oddly desperate. "Don't go. I'm sorry, that was a shitty thing to say. Just don't go." His hands were held up in a placating gesture, and made Kurt give in way too quickly. He sighed, sitting back down.
"..Alright."
"Good."
They were both silent for a moment, which gave Kurt a minute to think. His mind was still reeling. One minute, he was thinking that he was about to flirt with a cute guy, and the next? He was talking to his former arch-nemesis, Sebastian Smythe. He really needed to stop going out and just stay in his loft 24/7.
Though that would also be a nightmare. Despite him and Rachel being best friends, she was still Rachel, and her behavior would grate on his nerves time to time. He needed a drink so bad.
The thought of drinking brought a question to his mind. "Sebastian. How are you.. here? If my timeline is right, you wouldn't be at the legal drinking age." he said.
"Fake ID. Remember, I got you and Blaine one that night at Scandals." Sebastian explained.
Kurt shivered. He did not want to think about that night at Scandals. "Right." he mumbled.
Another long, drawn-out moment of silence occurred. This time, Kurt did not think, instead he looked. At Sebastian. At the walls. At the bar. Mostly at Sebastian, which he did not admit to himself.
"Could I get your number?" This time Sebastian broke the silence. "I'd like to keep in contact with you, if that's alright."
Kurt nodded, slightly reluctant. "Sure. Gimme your phone," he said, holding his hand out. In an instant, Sebastian's phone was in his hands. He typed his phone number in, and set his own contact name to 'Kurt'. He wanted to make it something funny and creative, but he couldn’t think of one in a short time.
"Here you go," Kurt said, handing him his phone back. "Just don't expect me to be texting you back all the time. I'm a grown man with a job."
"Straight off to work, hm?" Sebastian smirked. "And where would that be?"
Kurt finally had the chance to show off his new, extravagant life! "Vogue.com." he replied proudly, his chin held up a little higher than usual.
"You work at Vogue?" came from a very impressed but trying to hide it Sebastian. "My my, Kurt. Didn't think you had it in you for such an extraordinary job."
"Do you work or do you leech off of other people?" Kurt asked, not expecting much.
Sebastian shook his head. "Not right now. I'm going to law school," he explained. "My dad's paying for my apartment so I can 'focus on my studies'." he added with obvious sarcasm.
"Oh?" Kurt hummed, interested in all this snark. "I feel there's a 'but' coming."
"There is." Sebastian confirmed. "I guess law isn't something I really.. want to do." he admitted, sounding confused as if it was the first time he had even said it aloud.
"Hm." Kurt murmured. "Have you given any thought about something you would like to do?" he asked, idly playing with the collar of his shirt.
Sebastian shrugged. "No. I haven't even thought about this in general. I guess I've been busying myself with just about anything else."
"Gross," Kurt replied with a smile.
"Not like that," Sebastian said with his own smile to match.
They both just sat and smiled at eachother for a moment. It continued until Kurt's phone buzzed.
"Oh!" he said to himself, digging his phone out of his pocket and pulling it out. It was Rachel, asking him where he was with an extraordinary amount of question marks.
He had almost forgot! He said he would meet Rachel in the middle of the night to do.. what was it exactly? Ah yes, to have a movie marathon.
"Oh my god, I almost forgot!" he exclaimed. "I'm sorry, but I have to go," he explained vaguely, Sebastian watching in amusement. "Goodbye!"
"Bye, Kurt."