Chapter Text
A single shift in one’s life is enough to change a perfectly thought-out routine lifestyle. A single, random, coincidental change in Rin’s routine is enough to change his life.
Rin stares unimpressed at the boy who stands in front of the class, the same boy who had been here the first few weeks of the semester, then stopped showing up for the same amount he had shown.
He was of average height for a male, with hair that fell right in the middle of his face that formed a clean peak that was somewhat complemented by lonely strands.
The thing that defined his face were his eyes. Huge, not in an unsettling way, but in a way he looked cartoonish.
If you were to ask Rin the name of a classmate he would objectively say “I don’t know?” in a tone of voice that says: “Get lost. Don’t bother me.”, but truth be told, Rin has always learned all his classmates’ first and last names. Even if he’s never spoken to them, which basically goes for everyone he’s ever been in a class with.
He never learned these names in a polite way; he just had enough focus and an attention span to learn them in case he embarrassed himself and brought attention to his existence.
The boy with an awful attendance record, Yoichi Isagi, stands awkwardly and has a small curve to his mouth that looks like he’s trying to form a smile, but seemingly can’t and doesn’t want to fully force one.
“I know we had assigned seats when you were here a few weeks back, but it seems that arrangement has been out of place. You can find an empty seat.” Rin only makes that out of the conversation before he drifts in annoyance upon realizing the desk next to his is the only unoccupied desk in the classroom.
He really doesn’t want to be sat next to someone who can’t bother to show up to class even though the habits of others never adapt to him.
Isagi and the teacher keep talking while Rin prepares himself and says goodbye to his last moments of peace. Peace not having to be next to someone who falls asleep and snores. Peace not having to be next to someone who sneakily plays on their phone during a lesson. The peace of never dealing with the little noise any normal human makes, but it drives Rin crazy.
What an unfair life.
Rin’s inner monologue of accepting the loss of his annoyance-free school days is interrupted by the small sounds of placement in the empty seat beside him. He has no interest in this guy, but feels he has the right to be nosey which makes him take an uninterested look at his belongings. The once lonely desk, now taken up by folders with papers, and the empty presence Rin had accepted and grown fond of is now weighted.
Rin has no intentions of befriending this boy or even acknowledging his existence, he just happens to be his desk mate.
He watches as Isagi brings his oddly green colored backpack into his lap, the color is just horrendous and unappealing first off, but Rin isn’t going to just judge a random guy based on a color. No matter how eye-slaughtering it is.
Once again he finds himself being nosey which he excuses that most people would probably do the same if they randomly got a desk mate after a few weeks of sitting alone, peacefully he must add, and wants to decipher what type of person this Isagi guy is based off of his presence and the ugly backpack.
So far not a good impression.
Isagi opens his backpack, the hissing sound of the zipper being dragged catches Rin’s eye and he takes a glance to see if he can catch anything suspicious or something he can make a judgment on this boy about. The backpack though only consists of composition notebooks and Rin can only tell this fact because they’re the exact ones that litter his shelf full of previous studies.
He could easily count 5, each of them being the same color. Having that many in one bag is a strange thing. Usually you bring one with you and use it up until all the pages are full, toss it away or keep it somewhere to look back on if you’re as smart and studious as Rin, then you get a new one and repeat the journey of an ordinary composition book.
There’s not a single judgement Rin could make on this guy besides the fact he may be an organized freak that keeps all his subjects in different books, but that’s even more extra than Rin.
Isagi carefully pulls out the notebook that leaned against the other 4 in the bag, placing it beside his overbearing dues that Rin is genuinely curious about if he’ll finish them or not. All of the motion being done in almost silence, something Rin somewhat appreciates. Maybe he will get through this arrangement and accept things can’t always go his exact way, but he can for sure accept another outcome as long as it’s still somewhat his own expectations.
Isagi never once paid any attention to Rin. Not a single “Hi” or even a simple introduction which Rin was expecting from him. He looked like he was the friendly people pleasing type of guy, but he just kept to himself. From the moment he sat in the seat next to Rin, he kept the silence between them the only connection made.
Rin was content with this.
This concluded his attempt at wanting to judge his new desk mate and give him a genuine reason to dislike him and judge him silently for, he wouldn’t call it a fail exactly. From the very beginning he knew he had only shown up to school not many days then just disappeared, no excuse or reason could or should be used for that.
Never in his 17 years of life has he missed a single day. Rin has always found it in him to go to school.
Whether he was terribly sick, the easy solution would be for him to drink some ginger tea and attend class with a face mask on.
He even can recall back to the darkest time of his life, his brother in the hospital. Still, he made himself go to class the very next day. Of course Rin understands people can get too sick and physically can’t show up, but those are people who leave monthly then stay then leave. Isagi seemed normal. Nothing strange or seemingly wrong with him and of course Rin isn’t assuming, but he can just sort of tell.
So just like that, Rin goes back to himself and stops focusing on Isagi. He’s sure this whole thing will go by, he won’t have to befriend him or talk to him and hopefully Isagi stays kept to himself and his silent actions.
“Damn it..” A low voice broke Rin’s thoughts, almost as if the universe wanted to be even more on his bad side and set him off. His attention was drawn to the boy next to him who had a clear annoyed expression forming from his mouth.
Rin had never once fully turned to Isagi. All this time he had been examining him through little glances through his side eye to make sure he showed no curiosity and interest in Isagi. This ended as soon as he heard the same low voice say something to follow up the curse.
“Hey, man..” He spoke trying to get Rin’s attention to let him know he was speaking directly to him, Rin was now annoyed and everything he thought before about this new arrangement, maybe being somewhat okay, was now officially on a thin line.
“…What?” Rin coldly replied to him with a blank face. He saw immediately Isagi’s eyes furrowing like he was confused, then go back to their original state.
“I was in a hurry this morning, I sort of left my pencil pouch on my desk. Do you have a pencil or something I could borrow? I’ll return it immediately and be more aware next time.” Isagi said with a small look of plead plastered on his face.
And be more aware next time.
What a weird fucking guy. Who says that to someone they’ve just met? He was fine just asking to borrow something, he didn’t need to say all of that. Rin could already tell his face was turning into a judgmental stare by the look of slight intimidation that was now clearly readable on Isagi’s face.
Rin doesn’t want to make this awkward, not for himself, but for Isagi because he clearly is someone weird and probably has some personality issues. “Yeah. Just give it back after class.” Rin nonchalantly replied and reached for his own pouch from his bag, finding an older pencil he couldn’t care for just in case Isagi decides to keep and treasure it.
Because he is weird.
Isagi takes it without examining, “Thanks, and yeah, I’m not a pencil thief or anything.” Rin cringes at the slight attempt at a joke. Yep, that was his final blow.
He was already annoyed and fed up with this guy who has only been seated next to him for the span of about 5 minutes. 5 minutes was enough for Rin to remember to never place hope in a person even if they follow some of his expectations.
With the end of their brief exchange of words, both of them go back to doing their own thing.
Rin had just been studying and looking over new lessons from a book he checked out from the library, and Isagi is doing whatever he’s doing. When he had looked over fully for the first time from Isagi’s interruption he didn’t exactly see what he was actually doing.
Rin just hoped if he’s borrowing his stuff that he’s actually using it to get caught up. The thought of even having to help him with assignments makes him want to spiral.
This school skipping brat had him thinking about a singular person for way longer than he’d like. It’s all because he was seated next to him then just had to need something from him.
So annoying.
Rin was frustrated, and sick of Isagi and his well too known presence he created for himself. Now the thought of wanting to know what exactly Isagi was doing ran through him.
He didn’t know why it irked him so much and why he felt the desperation to know, but it just did and it wasn’t going away.
Rin soon accepts defeat and looks over carefully, hoping Isagi’s eye won’t catch him peeking over at his personal space.
What he sees isn’t Isagi with his loads of work being started on. Nothing even having to do with school or contribute to his education. It’s that composition notebook he saw him pick out earlier, now opened. On the left side of the notebook he can make out a sketch that’s done neatly with clear pencil work.
He’s not looking close enough to where he can make out the exact sketch.
He already lost himself by looking, what more can he lose by looking even closer to see what exactly the art is of?
To his surprise, the drawing is neat and shaded in a way it looks realistic. The drawing is of a hand holding a glass shard with a reflection of a distressed boy. No resemblance to Isagi or anything, just a simple looking boy with a clear look of sadness.
At the top of the page written in clean handwriting it’s titled: “A True Reflection”.
It's an ordinary title, but Rin can admit the sketch is well done.
Rin isn’t exactly admiring the art, more so just looking at it, he can’t take his eyes off of it. Art has never been something Rin has cared for, but he’s always been able to acknowledge a well done piece that has a meaning and is done correctly.
Rin feels this way about the art he’s looking exactly at. It’s a basic meaning, he can decipher it’s about a boy who feels broken which the piece of glass represents and his reflection matching the whole feeling of being broken. He would usually find this stuff cringey, but he understands people escape and express themselves through art or even making it to help people feel seen.
Whichever reason Isagi feels that led him to making the piece he is for sure talented and has a good hand.
For the right side of the notebook, since Isagi is leaning and has his arm and hand all over it he can’t seem to tell what is being drawn. Rin waits until Isagi gives a moment where he shifts his movement so he can get a quick peek at what is being created.
He can’t believe he’s found himself a little intrigued about Isagi’s art. He’s never actually known anyone who was good at art, so seeing it made next to him is a surprise.
The drawing is clearly not finished, what he can see though is a hand with a beginning of a string being drawn, attached to the fingers. The hand is still being worked on and shadedto a precise to look nice, Rin wonders what the rest of the drawing holds.
Just then Isagi sets the pencil down to stretch out his fingers before they probably start cramping which he takes notice of the fact Rin was staring. Clearly looking at the notebook that sits openly on the desk.
Isagi doesn’t take any embarrassment out of this though, which surprises Rin. Which honestly he shouldn’t, his art is probably a long way above the level any school student should have.
He realizes though they’re not in an awkward situation where Isagi knows Rin was looking at his drawings and Rin still hasn’t turned away and even pretended to act like he wasn’t looking. Rin shifts his gaze back into his own area, hoping Isagi won’t say a word and just leaves it.
Of course this isn’t what happens.
“Are you interested in art?” Isagi questions, asking the side of Rin’s face since he turned away. Rin hopes if he just stays silent that that’ll be enough of an answer to make Isagi not ask any further. “I saw you looking intensely already, don’t ignore me.” Isagi once again spoke. The nerve of this guy, Rin is done paying any attention to him.
He’s going to get his pencil back maybe and never have to speak to him again. All of his curiosity is done and over with. He got what he wanted. He still finds a little piece of him wanting to know what it just is that’s being drawn next.
“Okay, I'm sorry.” Isagi lets out a pathetic apology, Rin doesn’t feel bad. He doesn’t want to say anything. “Tch.” Is all Rin says, with a look of uninterest on his face. He finds his mouth moving more than the thoughts in his head that differ everything being said. “I’m not. I was just curious about all the motions you were creating.” Rin hates that he gave up his true morals and spoke more than he’d ever like to this guy.
“Ah, I see. I’m sorry. When I'm drawing I tend to just get lost in it, I'll be more careful.” Isagi says softly and turns back to his own space, picking up the pencil and beginning to pick up where he had left off. “Whatever.” Rin replies back and follows the same, going back to his studies.
Isagi can do whatever he wants. He can decide not to finish his work and spend his class work time doodling away for all Rin cares, it’s not his grades. He pieces that Isagi probably prioritizes his art way more than his grades which makes him on the path to a nobody, Rin believes. Whatever he decides to do is his life is his choice, but why would he waste his time doing something he could easily do as a hobby and in his free time?
Rin never understands why people don’t put school first and just get their homework and studies done then go off and do what they want.
Rin once had something in his free time that he loved to do, after school and even at home with his brother. He loved soccer. His life revolved around soccer, after school of course. But somewhere deep inside of him, 14 year old Rin would say he loved soccer more than his grades and wished he could prioritize playing more.
Soccer now is a long suffocated dream he has forced himself to push out of his life and accept it isn’t happening. Sae isn’t even by his side right now and even when he was, he gave up first. So for Rin to act entirely confused and judge Isagi for drawing in the middle of class is a bit of a stretch.
Maybe he was a tad jealous that he could see someone just easily focus on their dream and talent and not let it go to dust and become forgotten. Maybe that was why he felt intrigued a little bit. Somewhere deep within he wished that could’ve been himself. Still occupied by his true dream in life.
Soccer isn’t something he likes to think about and he tries to suppress his still yearning dreams to play beside his brother once more.
Class eventually goes by, Rin got less work done than he’d like and Isagi is who to blame. He made him commit a month worth of talking within no longer than 20 minutes being next to him, made him feel that slight feeling of interest in his dumb, but very eye-catching art and lastly he was forced to think for a good while about his old dreams and love of soccer.
Isagi may be his least favorite person in this classroom.
Which really does say a lot because the other people that fill up this classroom are just annoyances. Rin had never been friendly with anyone and a lot of the people that sit within the tight space are people he’d known for years since they’ve been classmates, grade school and so on.
Isagi isn’t an unfamiliar face or anything either, he was a transfer student Rin assumes since he’s only attended this school for a few years.
The town they live in isn’t the biggest though. Just outside of the biggest and popular cities, but still not as or anywhere near as full as a city like Tokyo or Shibuya.
Rin had seen Isagi within passing and mostly during assemblies, they’d never had a class together though which is why he knew truly nothing about Isagi. Everything that has happened in this period of time today was enough for him to now have his own opinion formed on Isagi.
Class being finally dismissed, Rin already had his stuff together and was preparing to head out and be done with today. “Rin, could you come over here before you leave?”, the teacher’s voice kindly spoke through the classroom which stops Rin from getting up.
Now Rin isn’t oblivious or anything, the teacher never really calls on him unless it’s to answer a problem on the board and that’s only because he’s the top student in the school. He already knows where this is going to lead.
He waits for most of the people to leave, even Isagi is long gone.
He must be so happy to go home after doing barely anything productive today. Rin makes his way to the teacher’s desk, already expecting her question and probable plead to come with it. “I know you have your own studies to keep up with…” she talks politely with a slight sorrow to her voice, Rin waits for her to get on with the rest of her begging for his help and being a good classmate or whatever.
“As you know, Isagi has been absent for quite a while. He has a lot he needs to catch up on, I’m not asking you to abandon your work and time for his sake or anything.." She keeps looking at Rin for some affirmation or expression, but he just stands still with his usual blank face just wishing for her to finish.”…It would be very helpful if you could help him out a little bit.” and there it is.
Exactly what Rin was expecting out of her.
Of course the kid who fell behind on his classwork was seated next to him. It wasn’t the teacher’s fault or anything for this outcome, it all happened out of a coincidence which just happens to be completely unlucky for Rin.
“Can’t our class rep help him out?” Rin isn’t accepting this task so easily, he knows easily that the second smartest kid in their grade just happens to also be their rep, which should put him to helping his classmates.
“Ahh Reo… you see, I would ask him, but you’re seated already next to him. It would be easier for you during breaks to just help him a little and guide him. I’m sorry to have to put this on you when you already prefer to keep to yourself.” she is very genuine with her words, he lets out a clear annoyed sigh, but nods his head once to show he agrees to doing this.
All he has to do is make sure Isagi isn’t lost or falls more behind. Nothing too much.
—————
Rin finally is able to go home, today has been enough for him. Everyday for the past few weeks the only thing Rin had to think and care about was the day his brother would finally be back home and how that would affect him and if their relationship was still okay.
Now he has to worry about that and helping out some classmate whose art is somehow more interesting and important than him himself.
The walk from his house to school is only a 20 minute walk. Rin doesn’t bother himself taking the bus, he’d much rather be kept at his own peace and the extra exercise never kills. His afternoon routine on his walk back from school to home consists of him sometimes stopping at a nearby convenience store and picking out a snack or drink for later, then checking on the small black cat with beaming blue eyes.
The cat lived under a bridge that was right near his house, sometimes other cats find themselves making comfort in the little area, but the black cat specifically had been there for a few months and Rin had made it a daily task to always check on her.
As he gets home, he brings himself through the front door and doesn’t have to stop or prepare himself for any trouble. Ever since the whole accident with Sae, their mom has been pretty calm and actually taking her medicine. Rin had gotten far too used to the bipolar personality his mother possessed, and just how draining it truly was to deal with it.
He doesn’t thank Sae or anyone for her finally coming to her senses and realizing she needed help herself, she only came to realize when Sae was sent to the hospital and she truly realized how bad he was. The feeling of sickness runs through Rin’s body as he tries to forget thoughts like these.
He reminds himself just a few more days. Sae will be back once more and hopefully, hopefully, life can stay like this.
“Rin, you’re home good.” Rin hears his mother’s voice call for him from the kitchen, he walks near and waits to see if she actually needs anything. Even though she’s been more calm and pretty normal, she still doesn’t do the basic things parents do where they ask how their kids’ day was and so on.
He stands waiting for his mother to speak once more. He looks around the kitchen counter and sees cooking books open, some with real meals and some with desserts. “Which dessert do you think Sae would like?” she questions Rin while he looks at the books.
Right away he sees chocolate desserts opened on the two books that were made for desserts, Rin knew Sae would rather eat anything ever than have a chocolate dessert.
Back when they were kids they’d go down to the convenience store and use their allowance for a little treat. Rin would pick out the sweetest, fattest candy bar while Sae would always go for a simple popsicle flavor. Sae refused to try Rin’s chocolate, making it known to Rin that it was fattening and would give him a million cavities.
Rin looks through the art book, looking at the pictures closely until a simple dish catches his eyes.
Purin.
It looks pretty good and he knows Sae doesn’t hate caramel. Rin leaves the page open on the recipe book then walks away without saying a word. The less interaction with his mother is what’s for the best for the both of them, every time they stay in the room far too long together the conversation always goes to Sae.
Of course Rin thinks about him almost daily, it’s hard not to when everything happened the way it did, but the daily reminder from around a few months ago that he would be coming back around this time has made his thoughts feel so scattered.
It had been almost 6 months since Sae left to get help. One moment he was in the hospital bed begging to not go anyway and that he would be fine and get over it, the next thing Rin knew was his brother being sent to a rehabilitation home.
The main thing with this though, Rin hadn't talked to Sae since he left for his recovery. Neither had their mother. Sae wanted to focus on himself and he believed talking to his little brother and mom even weekly would mess up his progress. So Sae is coming home after being gone for half a year without contact.
Rin is truthfully nervous about this. Everything that happened that night from the moment Sae was rushed to the hospital was all because of Rin, but he’s glad Sae was still here. He was glad Sae would once again be in the same house as him.
He just hopes things this time will feel normal. He wants a normal life with a normal mother and a brother who feels normal.
—————
Getting ready in the morning is a simple task for Rin, he just wakes up no matter how tired he is from his draining thoughts that keep him awake, gets dressed in his well fit uniform, brushes his teeth and hair then he heads out for the day about 40 minutes extra than he needs to.
He takes his usual route that gets him to school with 20 minutes to spare. Rin is always the first person to arrive to class, today is no different. He makes his way to his desk and takes out his studying notebook to get a head start, and to make up for the lack of work he got done yesterday.
That’s right.
Rin had gone home and thought of the reunion between him and his brother that’s to come that he completely forgot about his now upcoming torment he has to suffer himself through at school. He remembers now his teacher had tasked him to help out Isagi, his new desk mate. Rin wished it was a situation he could’ve declined and hoped someone else would be assigned to doing so, but he reluctantly agreed and what’s done is done.
He just hopes Isagi is the type who would at least focus and get caught up pretty fast even though yesterday was pretty telling about how he’ll go about this.
The slide of the classroom door is heard which broke Rin out his train of thoughts. Usually nobody else comes this early, so he looks up out of curiosity to see who would be here at this time. His eyes widen as he’s brought to looking at the same boy he was just shaming in his head.
Isagi.
That’s a bigger surprise to him. Just before yesterday this was the same guy that hadn’t shown up to class for almost a month straight, but now he can show up bright and early? The more Isagi’s presence became aware to Rin, the weirder he appeared to him. Isagi takes notice that Rin is the only one that’s in the classroom as well and awkwardly walks to his desk.
The two of them sit in silence.
He sees Isagi set his bag on the ground right by his feet, opening it wide. From Rin’s angle, he wasn’t able to see what all was in his bag this time, but he could assume it was occupied by the same 5 composition notebooks from yesterday now partnered with a few folders of filled schoolwork that needed to be done.
Isagi takes out one of the folders he was assigned with yesterday, taking out an assignment to begin on. Rin keeps his focus on his own studies. He knows he should offer his help to Isagi by now, but he couldn’t care less about the guy next to him. It seems today though he’s decided to put his mind to work and get some of his stuff done.
“Hey.” Rin speaks up with his whole cold demeanor never leaving his soul.
Isagi looks over at him with a surprised look on his face, Rin is sure this is because even him himself never thought he’d ever say something first to Isagi.
“Yeah?” Isagi replies with a confusing tone.
“The teacher asked me to help you catch up..” Rin sighs heavily before continuing.
“So if you need any help, or want it…just ask.” He finishes his statement before looking away fast, but in a slow way. He doesn’t know what response he’ll get and it’s not like he wants any in return, he hopes Isagi is fine on his own and can handle doing his work himself.
“Thanks…man.” Isagi replies shortly after before getting back to his assignment he was working on before Rin surprisingly was the one who interrupted him.
Man? Rin already hates the way Isagi talks, he was just fine thanking him and getting back to doing his own thing. Well, Rin pieces together that Isagi probably doesn’t know his name. He was never once told “Go sit over by Rin.” Nor did he ever ask Rin for his name, they just sat next to each other and before this arrangement Isagi was desks ahead of him.
It’s more awkward to right out say what your name is, especially when you’re doing everything to avoid conversation. Isagi can keep referring to him as “man” and Rin will just allow him because he can’t be bothered to tell him properly what his actual name is. No matter how annoying the name he’s being referred to already is.
The class soon enough starts to fill with the other students, the once silent room that picked up the small sounds of pencil work on paper now is filled by the chatter between students and more than 5 conversations going on at once. Rin takes this as his time to tune everyone out so he can stay focused.
Like clockwork, class goes by. Isagi didn’t bother or burden Rin today, he seemed to do his work and had even turned in quite a few assignments to the teacher. Rin luckily got ahead of his studies after falling behind with everything Isagi. Isagi never once took out his art to finish, not even during break. All he did was occupy himself with his assignments.
Rin wondered if Isagi had gone home and finished that art so he could have free time to actually do his schoolwork. That strong feeling Rin had felt yesterday, the random wave of interest and the irk that drove him to lose himself and curiously look over at the piece of art. He wished Isagi at least once gave himself a break so Rin could see what the concept of the art was heading towards.
Everyone starts getting ready to leave, Isagi is one of the first few people to make their way out of the classroom. Rin stands up and pushes his chair in and walks around to leave, his foot lifting onto an uneven level. He looks down and by his surprise his foot is on top of a black composition notebook.
Isagi’s.
He lets himself stare at it for a few seconds before bending down and picking it up. The front cover had nothing special done to it, it was left alone vs the inside of the notebook. Rin opens it carefully taking a peek, the first page of the book was taken up by another well done sketch.
The drawing on the first page was of an eaten apple, replacing the core of it was a clear representation of the bones of a ribcage.
The title of this one was called: “Eat.”
Rin didn’t necessarily get if the idea of this was about not eating enough and disliking your body or if it had a completely different approach to the meaning, but of course the art was still eye catching for Rin. The way Isagi didn’t need colors to capture his art, just his shading and the maturity of whatever he was drawing was enough to keep you looking.
He realizes he had just been standing by his seat while all the others had been making their way out for the day, so quickly he opens his backpack and puts the notebook into hiding. He isn’t stealing it or anything, Isagi is long gone. He isn’t getting it back until tomorrow.
—————
Rin lays in his bed flipping through the notebook he had *not* stolen, the notebook that had been left by the owner’s careless mistake. Rin knows if he had something personal that was left behind and someone picked it up, he wouldn’t want them snooping through it. He would want them to just pick it up and bring it back to him as soon as possible.
He understands his actions of going through Isagi’s art like this is pretty much an invasion of privacy, but he can’t help himself.
The more he looks at Isagi’s art, the more he finds himself feeling deeply. The art Isagi draws is pretty depressive, they’re all so dark with meanings of harm or little self worth. Rin doesn’t understand how someone could only draw stuff like this.
Not a single drawing of any happiness is represented in this notebook. He still finds himself looking through them all and reading the titles. The one he has had his attention the most fixated on was of an arm with deep gashes that filled most of the arm with long gashes rather than pure skin. And by gashes, it wasn’t bloody or anything. Just a deep slice of nothing.
In those gashes though filled roots growing out of them, with leaves and flowers. Rin felt his stomach drop and pool. He didn’t know why this one made him feel so touched, maybe because it reminded him in a way of Sae. He hated having to think of him like this, and seeing him in such a drawing.
Isagi had a truly magnificent way of capturing illnesses.
Rin wasn’t judging though. The way you can express such emotions whether this was all stuff Isagi related to personally or if he was just drawing to draw and express true feelings of sadness, it’s a concept so deep and touching. Most people avoid topics like these, so having it drawn out and seen visually is a better way to probably express such.
He had eventually flipped through all the pages that had a drawing on them, he looked through them all and read each title. He finds himself on that same page Isagi had been working on yesterday. The hand with the unfinished meaning. The difference now though, the drawing had been completed.
The precisely drawn and shaded hand that was holding onto an object that Rin made out to be a string was just the start of this. The string held two objects that were balanced, almost as if they were being weighted to see which was heavier.
A heart and a brain.
The string that was lower was attached to the brain while the string that was higher was attached to the heart. The details on each part showed every outline and realistic details on the body parts being portrayed. This one surprisingly wasn’t as sad or dark as all the other drawings he had seen.
He could tell it was an obvious imbalance of emotions, the brain being subjected to feeling lighter and probably more in control vs the heart which represents their true feelings and emotions being heavier meaning they probably feel much more from there.
When he looks for a title there’s nothing at the top to give the drawing its name, the first drawing Isagi had left nameless. Rin wonders why this is because the drawing had been clearly finished, no more details needed to be added. It was a perfectly done drawing like the rest of them. Rin looks at the art for a bit longer and thinks to himself.
—————
The next day Rin waited patiently at his desk to give Isagi back his notebook after he looked through every single page. He of course wasn’t going to tell him that though.
His mind still fixated slightly on the art with no title. It was a simple piece of art, Isagi could have genuinely named it anything that had to do with balance, brains or feelings.
He waits for Isagi to arrive, once again he’s the second person to show up to class. He takes his seat and opens his backpack, taking out the work he was going to start on today. Rin figures now is the best time to give his notebook back, he leans to his bag and pulls out the black notebook. Setting it to the side of Isagi’s desk.
“You dropped this yesterday.” Rin’s fingers gently rested on the notebook he had just set on the desk.
Isagi’s attention turned from the notebook to Rin’s face, a clear small smile being formed from his lips.
“Thank you so much, I was looking everywhere for this.” His voice sounded way too thankful, but to be fair that book is filled with lots of hard work and talent.
“It’s nothing. Be more aware next time.” Is all Rin says in reply, he doesn’t know how harsh he sounds or if he even does because Isagi’s face stays with a never ending smile. He looked truly happy. Isagi still looks in Rin’s direction, the eye contact between them hasn’t broken.
“I’ve been drawing in this specific notebook for a while now. It’s basically almost full.” Isagi says, still looking at Rin.
“Okay.” Is all Rin lets out. He doesn’t really know what the point of this conversation is. Isagi got his notebook. He should be happy and now leave him alone.
Isagi lets the silence between them grow for a few seconds because letting out a soft sigh and speaking once more, “I’m sorry I never asked before, but what is your name?”
After 2 days of being next to each other, the third day is when he finally asks such a pointless question.
“…Rin.” Is all he says with his same unimpressed everyday look.
“Ahh, Rin. Got it, thank you again.” Isagi looks away and immediately that smile that had been plastered on his face drops. Rin doesn’t care that much, but he wonders if all of that was just him pretending to be nice and thankful. Rin is very direct and makes it known he is uninterested in people and always will be.
Isagi having some mediocre nice guy act is the least of concerns, but that whole show was pointless and makes his previous words make no sense. If he was looking everywhere for it then he should be actually happy to have it back safely, not faking a bullshit smile that was not even a single bit impressive.
He really is weird.
—————
The day being almost over, Rin found himself never once paying attention to Isagi since their small conversation ended right before people started coming in. He actually kind of forgot his presence for a little while, until he had gotten up to use the restroom. Rin shifts his eyes just slightly over towards his desk, the notebook being opened.
Isagi hadn’t started anything new, the pages with the two finished drawings just lay there. One with a name and the other with not a single text written. Rin hated once again that something that had nothing to do with him bothered him this much. Why did he find himself so interested in the art of a random guy that’s seated next to him?
He’s already admitted it’s impressive and Isagi has talent, but he’s sure he could easily go online and search up art and find meaningful art pieces similar to Isagi’s. It’s not an uncommon thing. His attention stays entirely fixated on the art about balance.
He dislikes it doesn’t have a title.
All of the rest of them do.
So why not this one still?
He reaches in his bag and looks through his extra supplies until he finds his sticky notes, taking one off of the thick stack and placing it on his desk. He thinks for a bit until he writes something down then he places the note on the very top of Isagi’s notebook.
—————
As everyone leaves, Isagi comes back from the restroom and is brought into the empty classroom. His stuff is still sitting on his desk, along with his open backpack that’s on the floor. He walks over to put his stuff away until his eyes are caught by the flashy sticky note that is placed precisely at the top of the drawing.
The sticky note reads: “Anisorropia”
Isagi stares at it confused, it’s a word he’s never recognized or heard of in his life. He pulls out his phone and types it into the search bar.
Isagi looks once again at the sticky note that had been left. He picks up his pencil writing the same word on the actual paper to replace the sticky note.
“In Greek, the term ανισορροπία (pronounced an-ee-so-ro-PEE-ah) translates to imbalance, unbalance, or instability.”