Chapter Text
“Almost there, Jax! Just a few more-”
It was just after one in the morning on campus. Jax stumbled across the mysteriously stained carpet in the foyer of his dorm building. The stench of cheap booze and cigarettes radiated off him, but somehow that wasn't even the worst smell that entered his and Ragatha's noses as they walked through. Ragatha herself had one arm wrapped around her boyfriend to prop him up, keeping him from tripping over himself and falling headfirst into the carpet. She guided him into the elevator in front of them just as the door closed behind them. He quickly started to fall towards the ground, only being caught by her at the last second.
“Hey, hey. Don't pass out yet! We're almost up!”
“I- I don't think I can make that far, doll”
Jax clutched onto his stomach in pain. Ragatha shot a worried look at him and sighed.
“Hang in there, we're almost there”
Despite her concerned tone, all of this was all too familiar for Ragatha. It wasn't exactly a secret, but Jax was an alcoholic, through and through. And every Friday night she had to drag him out of whatever local bar he found himself in, walk him five to ten blocks through the city back to the college and up to their dorm where he either, a: passed out instantly, or b: sloppily made out with her for the rest of the night. Admittedly, it wasn't the best relationship she could be in, but in her head, if she wasn't around to take care of him, than no one would.
“Just around here, okay? You're doing great”
The two gradually stepped out of the elevator, narrowly avoiding the door yet again. Ragatha helped Jax stumble down the hall, around a small corner, and eventually to their dorm. Ragatha guided herself and Jax to the front door, reaching into her pocket and desperately searching for her keys, fumbling her thumb across them when she did and eventually finding her house key. She flicked Jax's neck as she turned the lock and kicked the door open. Jax flicked her back, slightly annoyed.
“What was that for?”
“I didn't want you passing out on me! I've already carried your drunk ass all the way home, the last thing I need tonight is-”
Suddenly, Jax felt more puke build up in his throat. Without a second thought, he ran inside and into the bathroom. Ragatha just smiled and headed inside herself.
The blue glow from the TV in the living room was the only light still on in the apartment-sized dorm. As she wandered into the kitchenette, she started piecing together what had happened in her absence. Gangle and Zooble had fallen asleep while watching Netflix, again. Pomni had more than likely gone to bed, if she was even here and not "studying" at Caine's. Studying, of course, being her poorly disguised cover for getting railed in his living room and-
“(I could've gone my whole life without having that image in my head. But here we are!)”
Ragatha switched the kitchen light on, immediately being greeted by a pile of dirty dishes no one had been bothered to clean. She sighed.
“(Five of us in this shithole and I'm the only one who cares enough to clean)”
Ragatha's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the faint sound of her lover throwing up in the bathroom. She quickly grabbed an empty cup off the counter and filled it with some water from a Brita jug in the fridge. Slowly, she made her way over to the bathroom and lightly knocked on the door.
“Jax? Can I come in?”
Jax didn't reply, instead he gently pushed the door open. As she walked in, she found him strung out on the floor with a toilet bowl full of puke next to him. She sighed, flushed the toilet and sat down next to him.
“Here, this should help”
She handed him the water, which he happily accepted. He tried to sit up, but quickly found himself falling into Ragatha's chest. Not that either of them complained. She smiled as he sunk deeper into her, resting himself comfortably between her breasts while she gently brushed his hair.
“There, there. There, there. It's gonna be okay, I promise. I'm here. I'll always be here, I promise”
Jax softly smiled at that last comment. And god, did it make Ragatha feel all sorts of beautiful and warm feelings inside when she saw it. She wrapped both her arms around his head and matched his smile, both of them slowly falling asleep in each other's embrace.
Friday morning, 7AM. Jax woke up in the morning feeling even worse than he did when he passed out. He had no idea where he was or when he got home the night before, or how he made it there. But he felt safe. Although his vision was blurry and he felt like dying, nothing around him seemed like it was a threat. So at least there's that.
His vision slowly focused in. He looked around, finding himself on his bathroom floor, half rolled over in his doll's arms, his head resting comfortably between her tits. He knew that if anyone walked in on this situation, he would instantly pull himself off her and tell whoever was there to fuck off. He had an image to uphold, of course. An image that would be destroyed if it ever came out that no, he's not an emotionless tough guy he claimed to be.
And yes, these were the things Jax was worried about while passed out on his bathroom floor at nine in the morning. Well, that and-
“(Fuck, I need a smoke right now)”
And so, Jax awkwardly pulled himself up and stumbled out into the apartment. The first thing he saw upon opening the door was Zooble, who stood impatiently against the door frame, mindlessly scrolling through their phone.
“Morning” They said.
Jax rolled his eyes. “What's so good about it?”
“I never said ‘good’”
Jax stood for a moment, then walked past them, slowly making his way to the kitchen. He found Pomni there, hunched over the coffee maker.
She turned around as he passed by and dryly asked him “Are you actually going to class today or-?”
“Fuck do you care? Aren’t you?”
Pomni sighed. “Whatever. Hey, you got a twenty on you?”
Jax rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket, quickly pulling out his old, torn up leather wallet. Pomni smirked as he pulled out a twenty dollar bill, but it quickly changed to slight panic as Jax froze.
“Wait, what do you need this for?”
Pomni looked around for a way out of this conversation. She couldn't find one.
“Well.. just some- you know?”
“I don't know, that's why I'm asking, shortstack!”
“It's.. well.. just give me the money, Jax!”
“Fuck off”
And that was the last thing Jax said to Pomni that day. He slowly turned around and continued on his path to the balcony. As he passed through the living room, he noticed Gangle watching TV on the couch, clearly still exhausted from whatever she did the previous night.
“Gangle”
“Jax”
“Good talk”
With that, Jax finally slid the balcony door open and stepped outside into the warm summer air. After tossing the newspaper onto an old lawn chair next to him, he quickly pulled out his trusty pack of cigarettes, leaned himself comfortably against the balcony's guardrail and lit one up. He smiled as he exhaled the built-up smoke, which would typically be blown into Ragatha's mouth but alas, she was still asleep on the bathroom floor. So instead, it simply floated up into the neighbors balcony upstairs.
“What the-JAX!!”
“Mornin’!”
The next thing Jax heard was a screen door slamming above him. Music to his ears.
“Serves ya right, bit-”
“JAX! SHE’S TRYING TO STEAL OUR FOOD!”
“(Wait, what?)”
Look at that, Ragatha's up! Jax quickly slid the door open, cigarette still hanging from his mouth. He's greeted by a very hangry Ragatha trying to grab a piece of toast off Zooble's plate. He probably would've tried to stop it if he wasn’t really excited to see her win.
“GO DOLLFACE! WOO!”
“WHAT?!”
Ragatha reached around Zooble's shoulder, with them quickly knocking her away with their elbow. Fortunately, they were so focused on that arm they completely forgot about her other, which successfully nabbed the toast.
“OH NO, YOU DON’T!” Zooble yelled.
As quickly as Ragatha got her hands on her breakfast, Zooble snatched it back from her. She bitched and moaned as usual, all while watching they quickly shoved it down their throat. But Pomni couldn't care less, Gangle had already left the room, heading towards the bathroom for a shower, and Jax was heading back outside, having lost interest.
Noticing the lack of attention, Ragatha chose to use her most effective ability.
“Jax!! Your dipshit friends are bullying me!”
Immediately, Jax spun himself around and ran over to comfort his doll. Ragatha quickly buried herself in his arm, her best fake tears falling onto his sweater.
“All I wanted was to steal their food! Why are they so mean to me?”
“They're just jealous, love. They're jealous that we get to have what they don't”
Pomni laughed from the kitchen. “Shut the fuck up!”
Jax turned around, smiled and flipped her off. He then looked back and smiled.
“Well, you don't have classes today, right? How about I make us something? French Toast and Scrambled Eggs maybe?”
Ragatha's eyes light up for a second, but quickly dim again.
“I'd love to, Jax, but I promised Caine I'd meet him at the mall in half an hour”
Jax sighed. “Alright. But I'm still making something nice for us today! I promise”
Ragatha smiled and hugged her boyfriend tighter, before reluctantly letting go. And once that happened, the domino chain of people exiting the apartment began to fall.
“I'm off to work!”
“Heading to class, see ya later!”
“I'm gone!”
“Love you, Jax!”
And with that, Jax was left alone for at least the next four hours. Just him, the voices upstairs, and his unrelenting boredom filled the apartment as he tried finding things to do.
He started with some TV in the living room.
“We now return to Comedians In Cars Drinking Coffee!”
“Yeah, no”
“(Okay, well, how about you do some baking? I'm sure Ragatha would like that)”
“Somehow not the worst idea you've had"
“(Quiet, you)”
So, Jax spent the next half an hour baking. He chose a loaf of bread as his target today, based off of one of the few good memories he had with his mother. Whenever she would bake something, rare as that was, she would call her children downstairs and show them the basics of how to bake it. And, more often than not, would forget that she already did before.
“(It's just flour, yeast and water. Nothing more, nothing less)”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever”
“(I mean it, _____! If you add anything else, you'll ruin it!)”
Jax didn't respond, instead choosing to get to work. He quickly whipped up a pretty basic dough, something his mom would surely be proud of. Which is probably why he could almost feel her breathing down his neck as he reached for some extra ingredients. Nothing too insane, just some honey and sugar, but even that was enough to make him nervous. He could vaguely hear her yelling at him as he added the new ingredients, but he could quite make out what she said.
Swiftly moving along, Jax finished up the dough, put it in a bread pan and stuck it in the oven for the next few hours.
He quickly got bored again after he did.
“Hello? Hello?”
Jax was woken up around an hour later by a buzzer. Across the apartment, a static-y voice came in through the intercom downstairs, begging to be buzzed in by him. Jax slowly pulled himself over to the com and sighed.
“Help me, I'm trapped in this little box!” Jax joked as his reply.
“Um, hi, is this.. Jax?”
“Depends who's asking”
“Oh, um, I'm from Amazon? Got a package here for you”
“How can I know you're actually who you say you are?”
“Jesus fucking christ, just let me in Fe-Jax!”
That slip up wasn't missed by him. There were few people in the world who could make a mistake like that, and even fewer who still would. Jax thought to himself for a second. He ran through a list of names in his mind, trying to figure out who this person could be.
Until finally, it clicked.
“(No)”
“Check outside for cameras and head upstairs. Third floor, down the hall, to the left”
No response. Within seconds, Jax felt the world around him become a blur. He stumbled back into the living room, his head spinning as he began to spiral into a deep, but all too familiar panic. Coincidentally, the voice of an old, estranged friend had become the loudest of the symphony of voices surrounding him, getting closer and closer and feeling like they were choking him.
In her absence, however, came a much more soothing voice.
“(Jax, relax! You're probably just overthinking this, as usual. I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding)”
“B-but.. Ragatha. It sounded just like her, too! There's no way it wasn't-”
“(Lots of people probably sound like her. Just relax, you're gonna be okay)”
Following his doll's guidance, Jax did try to relax. Keyword being try. Because not even five minutes later, a familiar knock hit the front door. Jax felt the panic quickly dissipate, being replaced by an overwhelming dread as he realized who was probably behind that door.
It followed him all the way from the couch in the living room to the cheaply refurbished door handle, which he gently turned and pulled open.
Standing across from him was a woman his age, maybe a bit older but not by much. She looked very similar to Jax, only with fading green hair compared to Jax's deep purple. One could easily mistake her for a lost, confused and probably pretty scared young woman looking for directions or a place to stay.
But Jax knew better. He knew exactly who this was.
It was Ribbit.
“Hello, Felix”
Jax folded his arms and leaned on his side against the doorway, his expression as dead as ever. Though Ribbit did notice a slight twitch in his eye at being called his real name.
“The ghost of Christmas past..”
A brief standoff preceded that comment. The two took a moment to examine the other. The older one quickly took in the stench of cigarettes and alcohol on Jax, a combination of scents that had become the standard for him over the years. On the other hand, the younger half noticed how worn down Ribbit looked, as if they had been through hell and back in the time since they last spoke.
“May I come in?” Ribbit asked.
Jax sighed and left the doorway, allowing Ribbit to step inside. Which she did, reluctantly.
“Take your shoes off, I don't want dirt tracking inside”
Ribbit didn't respond, instead just quietly taking their shoes off as Jax wandered further into the apartment. He eventually made it to the kitchen, where he instinctively started pouring himself a drink.
“You’re a hard man to find nowadays”
“Yeah, and you of all people should know why”
“I don’t know, I guess I just assumed the cops would’ve found you by now”
Jax smirked, though not out of amusement or mockery, but disdain for the woman currently wandering through his living room. He smirked, placing the bottle on the counter next to the glass, now full of whatever it was he grabbed out of the fridge.
“Well, you assumed wrong. As usual”
Ribbit gave Jax a sneer as that comment registered with her. He didn't even react, simply choosing to take a sip of his drink as she sat down on the couch. She looked around at the apartment-sized dorm and smiled.
“Nice place you got here. You live with anyone?”
Jax took another sip and smiled. “Yeah. Three roommates and my girlfriend”
“Is she pretty?”
“Extremely”
Ribbit smiled. They looked back over at Jax, who looked like he wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was even real. Little did they know it, but he actually wasn’t. As far as he was concerned, this was just another ghost his mind had broadcasted into the world around him just to torment him. Again.
So, finally, Jax sighed. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you!” Ribbit said, her smile remaining.
“Bullshit, what do you really want?”
Ribbit scoffed. “What? Am I not allowed to visit my friends anymore?”
Jax smirked again. “You haven't once since everything happened, so I guess not!”
“Look.. Jax. I know it's been a while, but.. after what went down back home, don’t you think I deserve to-”
“Save it, I don't wanna hear it. Just tell me what the hell you're doing here so I can get on with my day!”
“Jax, I-”
“RIBBIT!”
Ribbit taken aback by Jax suddenly raising his voice. But before she could respond, he continued.
“Answer the fucking question!”
Ribbit hesitated for a moment, but with her back against the wall, all she could do was finally be honest, as hard of a task as that was. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and spoke up.
“Kaufmo’s dead”
Silence flooded the room. Ribbit winced, bracing themself for Jax’s reaction. Jax had a million thoughts run through his head in an instant, but one towered above them all.
“How’d he go?”
Ribbit sighed. “Finally drank one too many? Shoved the wrong up his nose? Take your fuckin’ pick, honestly”
“B-but that’s…” Jax paused for a moment to finish his drink, then sighed. “He handled shit worse than that before!”
“It’s just a guess, alright? I wasn’t there and neither were you, so we’ll never really know”
“Do his parents know?” Jax asked.
“Yeah…” Ribbit bit their lip, then continued. “And so do my parents.. and yours. Which means it’s only a matter of time now before they find us”
Jax slammed the glass down on the counter when he heard that, causing Ribbit to jump in response. Every inch of his body shook with fear as he processed this information.
“(Didn’t think you could run forever, did you?)”
“s-shut up”
Ribbit turned her head in confusion. Jax didn’t notice, instead choosing to bury his head in his hand.
“(Aw, what’s the matter? You gonna run away and-)”
“Shut. Up.”
“Jax? Who are you talking to?” Ribbit asked, slowing down as they reached him.
“(Go on! Tell them. Tell them all about your little ‘issues’. Scare them off like the fucking idiot you are)”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
The next thing anyone in the room knew, Jax had smashed the bottle and glass into the counter top, destroying both of them in an instant and spilling alcohol all over the area around it. Ribbit’s eyes went wide and they jumped back into the living room, while Jax just sighed. A few tears leaked out of his eyes, but he’d be damned if he let Ribbit see them.
“Ribbit.. I-”
“Jax? I’m home!”
Jax turned his head towards the front door, where Ragatha was calmly walking in with a Starbucks drink in her hand. She looked over at him, quickly registering that something was very, very wrong. Then she looked over a bit more, seeing an unknown woman standing anxiously in her living room. She looked back at Jax, confused.
“Who’s this?” She asked.
Jax stuttered. “T-this… this is-?”
“Ribbit!” She said, quickly making her way over to the older girl. “I’m an old friend of Jax’s! You must be Ragatha!”
“Oh! Did he tell you about me?” Ragatha asked.
“In a sense, yeah!” Ribbit replied, lying through her teeth. “Well, I should probably get going! But hey, while I’m in town, let’s get coffee sometime, yeah!”
“Y-yeah! Of course!”
Ribbit smiled and kicked their shoes back on. Just before they left, they looked back at Jax, who was still frozen in shock next to the broken glass and stained counter. They sighed, then smiled.
“And Jax? Just.. think about what I said, alright? I’ll see you!”
And then, she was gone. Ragatha turned back to Jax, now noticing the glass shards around him. She slowly walked over to him, confused.
“What happened here? You’re not drunk already, are you?”
Jax didn’t respond. He didn’t even move. It took him a few moments to even register Ragatha’s presence in the kitchen, her eyes analysing his face for some idea of what he was thinking. Then, without any words, he pulled her in close, tears bursting out into her shoulder. She hesitated for a second, caught off guard by the sudden explosion of emotions from him, but quickly returned the hug, allowing him to cry, or just stay there, as long as he needed to.
When he was finally ready, he sat her down and explained everything.
(TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!)