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Eventually they all separated one by one, going their own ways when they were close enough to campus. Beca was sure that last look before she left was nothing. That brush of knuckles was other than the fact that they were literally walking next to each other. The closeness, and the way Chloe later hooked an arm around her elbow as the others peeled off, had no better explanation than the chill evening air.
Chloe carried herself like that with everyone; she was touchy-feely, sure, and she was so vibrant with her effusive energy and constant support. She also did all of that with Aubrey, and with anyone she called her friend. If anything, all that chipper self-assurance plus her talent made her more than a bit intimidating. Chloe lit up any room with her voice, and that was surely all that was between them when they sang together, talked together, walked together.
Maybe that was all. Maybe there wasn’t anything else behind how protective Chloe was of her spot in the Bellas. How Chloe pushed her to join in the first place, not to mention that whole blow-up with Aubrey. But her mind wandered on that walk. There wasn’t much else to occupy her attention before she found herself in her dorm. Spring break was over, so at least she wasn’t going to be entirely alone with her thoughts.
That wouldn’t help, she knew better. Maybe she’d one day work up the courage to ask Chloe if she wanted to go somewhere for the night, just the two of them. Chloe would never ask her out, she was certain of that much.
She smiled to herself on the lonely, dark walk and imagined what it’d be like to ask her out. She dreamed how it would feel, no longer guessing whether Chloe’s focused stare when she sang locked onto her for any other reason but the spoken. A whole mess of words unsaid, laid out.
I’d walk up to her, and I’d ask her. There didn’t need to be any fanfare, no heartfelt song to go with it. What’s so hard about that?
Beca decided they’d dance together at the discreet club Cynthia Rose told her about the other night, the one that’s lax about ID checks. The daydream was where she worked up the courage to break the uncertainty, all that wondering if this was what it felt like without ever progressing to reality.
That was where she kissed Chloe in her fantasy. Maybe surprised at first, Chloe kissed her back in the walking dream, and they danced harder. The downbeat in every song hit harder, matching their rhythm. When they left, heading back to Beca’s, Chloe was all over her.
In that dream, they woke up together. She let herself indulge, so they were somehow alone, and they microwaved a couple of frozen breakfast burritos. They were terrible, but Chloe shrugged it off and her mouth formed words Beca’s daydream couldn’t compose. All she knew was her response as a weightless sensation, floating in her chest. The impossibility of it, the free fall after when she let the daydream linger there.
As she turned a corner, ready for another maybe that might never be, a familiar voice came from behind and rooted her where she stood. The glow of a car’s headlights cut through the gaps between the campus buildings, but she refused to turn around in case this was another part of her midnight daydream.
“Beca, wait up,” Chloe repeated, reaching her at last with a hand immediately on the back of hers. “Hey, why’d you run away? I wanted to talk to you. Promise I won’t bite yet.”
“Don’t freak out. It’s not like I’m gonna bail out on everyone right after you all let me back in. I’m heading home,” Beca scoffed. She fought the urge to turn her hand in Chloe’s and squeeze. What the hell did she mean by that yet? “Ugh, don’t tell me Aubrey stressed herself out again. The pool was right there and everything.”
“It’s nothing that apocalyptic. Felt like we didn’t get a chance to say good night to each other, that’s all.” Chloe refused to move her hand, fingertips now against the backs of fingers. “Well, that’s not all. I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”
“Right. Yeah. Good night.” Beca hesitated, trying not to compliment the way Chloe’s eyes shone out like starlight. All the snark and put-on, edgy confidence in the world hadn't prepared her for this. Whatever this was. She refused to pull her hand away, fumbled for words, and added, “I love this new range you’ve got, by the way. It’s so cool, and you can fill out the gaps in our low end. You’re gonna kick ass. Trust me.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Chloe said quietly, smiling bright with a curled lip. “But thank you. That’s really sweet.” She paused, rolling her lips. “You’re really sweet.”
“Yeah, of course. Um. You’re great.” You’re great? Really? Beca wished that she could roll her eyes into the back of her skull to see what on Earth she was thinking.
“I’m great? Don’t sell yourself short. You totally stepped up when we needed you.” Chloe nodded to herself as if realizing something at that moment. “Right when I needed you. I knew you could do it, too.”
“That’s because I’m basically perfect,” Beca joked, “and the Bellas wouldn’t be anywhere without me.”
“Confidence looks good on you,” Chloe said.
Those sorts of jokes usually face-planted, so Beca let her mouth do the running for her brain. “Yeah, confidence looks good on you, too. Like when you were taking the lead earlier.” That sounds worse. Desperate? “For the song.”
“I know what you meant.” Chloe tilted her head meaningfully. “You know, when I said I wanted to talk to you, I meant about something a little more personal.”
Oh, I’m in a different dream. That car she whose headlights she thought she saw must have been hurtling at her, right? She heard about that kind of hallucination happening to people. Beca cleared her throat. If it was a dream, might as well make the most of it. “Naked’s already pretty personal. Not sure how much more personal it can get between us.”
“Sure,” Chloe said, meeting her eyes confidently, “but I thought, since there’s still a couple of weeks before finals, that I’d ask if you had any free time. Say, this Friday?”
“Probably.” What am I talking about? What is she talking about? “Yeah, Fridays are free.”
“Then Friday it is. I know the perfect place, too.”
“Why? Did you want to get together and rehearse something or—?”
What happened next hadn’t registered at first. Her thoughts dialed in on static and hummed there for a long, aching time, but her heart hammered hard enough to wake her back up. Only, there was no dream and no bed and no alarm pounding into her head.
Chloe leaned into her, hand in hers, and pressed her lips to hers. At first, it was chaste and quick enough that Beca could have come up with a million different excuses for the ways it was an accidental peck on the mouth that was meant for the cheek like friends did. Nothing more. Then, Chloe met her eyes with that same bravura she always wore, and met her lips in another kiss.
This time, Beca was ready. Her thoughts flitted everywhere from the deep end of the pool to the fragrance in Chloe’s hair as it brushed her face. She needed to focus because Chloe kissed her again.
She clutched at Chloe’s hand, intertwining their fingers, and leaned herself fully into their street-side embrace. Entangled hands roamed to settle on hips while trembling lips grew bolder. Beca hardly believed the sounds she made, roughing the back of her throat, when Chloe deepened the kiss. Only for a moment, but long enough for her to want everything in her daydream and more.
Beca let her free hand fall on Chloe’s cheek like she might be the one to run away this time. The kiss was over before she stopped to savor it, but Chloe’s smile tasted as sweet when she pulled back. Not away; they huddled even closer than that first night they partied together.
“First kisses aren’t always the best,” Beca said, unsure what else to say. She caught herself grinning so hard that her face hurt, but she really did not want to stop.
“Oh, was I that bad?”
“No! That’s not it. You’re as good at kissing as you are at everything else.” Perfect! You are really killing it. Now, she’d have the best story to tell about the first kiss that she bombed spectacularly. She would never be able to show her face in Barden ever again.
Waiting a beat, Chloe said in a teasing tone, “I really like how you act when you’re flustered. It makes your compliments sound even better.”
“You’re messing with me.”
“Not about how cute you are when you’re flustered. Don’t worry, I can take the lead on this, too. We have plenty of time to practice,” Chloe replied. Shifting closer, Chloe cupped her face and pushed a stray bit of hair behind her ear. Cautiously, Chloe asked, “I’m not misreading signals, am I?”
“No.” The word fell out of Beca’s mouth in such a rush that she wasn’t sure she actually said it out loud. “No way. I wasn’t sure I was reading them right.”
“So, that is why you ran away from me tonight.”
“Well. I thought the way you stared right at me while you sang about pretty girls was too on the nose.” Beca realized how ridiculous that now sounded. “Lyrics can just be lyrics. I didn’t want to be wrong.”
“I thought you could tell. You always smiled like you got away with something.”
“Getting away with what?”
“Everything. The songs tonight. The way you look at me when I look at you. Your eyes are so pretty when you’re happy,” Chloe said plainly, as if that explained everything. “You really did think you were the only one who felt like this.”
Beca nodded. How could she respond to that any other way?
“I could tell that you really, really did.” Chloe laughed, the sound so lovely that Beca had to fight to stay standing. Pressing another kiss to the corner of her mouth, Chloe said, “It’s all right. Guess I needed to make it more obvious.” She paused. “You’re the one thinking about us, though. If the lyrics I sang counted, so did yours. Hopefully that wasn’t only the lyrics talking.”
“Definitely not. Still thinking about us, actually.”
“Then Friday’s settled.”
Brain still full of excited noise, Beca asked, “What did you have in mind for Friday?”
Chloe’s laugh tinging her words again, sounding as carefree as ever, and she explained, “Going on our first date, obviously. It’s kind of embarrassing, but I’ve wanted to ask you out for a while.”
“Dreaming of me?”
“Something like that.”
“So, I wasn’t the only one.”
“Definitely not.”
Beca took her own beat, her lagging thoughts snagging on what Chloe had said. “Hang on. I’m embarrassing?”
“More like… I’m embarrassed that it took me this long to work up the nerve to do this.” Chloe kissed her again, fleeting but drawing her in deeper still, then said, “Cynthia Rose told me all about this awesome club the other night. I think she’s got eyes on Stacie, so we wouldn’t have to go alone if we don’t want to. It’ll be easy for us to get in on a Friday, either way.”
With nothing else to lose, Beca swore she had never agreed to anything faster in her entire life.