Chapter Text
Shane was screwed. Metaphorically, of course. Well…that may change. But for now, he was in trouble. Why? Because his new roommate was an alpha. That, on its own, wouldn’t have been a problem; Shane had been pretending to be a beta for years, and he’d fooled plenty of people of all secondary genders. But Ilya? Yeah, he was going to be a distraction.
The man was tall, lithe, and muscular as though sculpted from granite. His features were sharp, a mole on one of his cheeks. His short curly hair was golden brown (it reminded Shane of a toasted marshmallow, he thought absently). The part that was most striking, though? That would have to be his eyes. Icy blue and piercing in a way that said ‘I’m paying attention to everything, all the time’. That would be a problem, truly.
Sure, Shane had practice passing as a beta. But he’d never lived with anyone except for his parents. Now, a freshman at the University of Toronto, he had to room with someone else. He’d accidentally waited too long to get on the list for a single room thanks to his busy training schedule, which he was kicking himself for as soon as he laid eyes on Ilya. Clearly, he would be Shane’s undoing. A part of him, his inner omega, suggested that maybe he could stand to come undone, even just a little. He suppressed the voice, instead focusing on trying to get his heart to stop pounding in his ears.
“And your name?” Ilya’s thick Russian accent shook Shane from his thoughts.
“Huh?” Shane asked, momentarily forgetting what had been said before his brain decided to break.
“I tell you my name. I am Ilya Rozanov. Now, you say yours,” Ilya instructed, the smallest of smiles pulling at his lips.
“Right,” Shane nodded as he responded. “I’m Shane. Shane Hollander.” He held out a hand for the other to take, though Ilya took his time, studying him for a few long seconds before complying. The moment they touched, Shane swore he shivered. If Ilya noticed, he didn’t say anything.
“You are beta, da?” Ilya asked bluntly.
Shane startled back, withdrawing his hand. “Um, yeah. Why?”
“I sleep with scent patch off,” Ilya explained, motioning towards just below his collarbone, where two small plastic patches clung to him, one on each side. “Your nose not as good. You will not be bothered, da?”
Immediately, Shane started to spiral. He couldn’t smell Ilya yet on account of his scent suppressant, but if he had to guess, the alpha probably smelled amazing. The pills Shane took to suppress his heat cycle and scent did only that — suppress the cycle itself, and his own output of scent. He still had a sensitive nose, able to sniff out things only omegas or alphas could.
Noticing Shane’s delayed response, Ilya’s face scrunched into that of confusion. “Is not ok?”
“No, no worries!” Shane reassured. He couldn’t afford to act suspicious. The school could revoke his hockey scholarship, after all. Omegas weren’t allowed to play professionally, or even at the uni level. He could get arrested for falsifying his secondary gender records. So, with renewed confidence he knew he needed, Shane continued. “Sorry, I’m just not used to being around alphas except for my mom, you know?”
“Ah.” Understanding washed over Ilya’s features, a small smirk accompanying it. “Well, if it bothers you, tell me, da? That way we can make this work.”
Shane felt himself smiling wholly and sincerely. He quickly tightened the reaction, only offering a small, forced smile. “Yeah. Sounds good.”
“You play hockey for school?” Ilya asked, sitting on his own bed across from Shane’s.
“Yes,” Shane lit up immediately, and he knew it. Hockey was a bit of a special interest for him, one he couldn’t help but speak passionately about when brought up. “I’m excited. I knew I was good enough for the uni league, but betas don’t always get scouted. Luckily, my mom’s super into hockey, and she made sure the scouts paid attention.” After his brief ramble, Shane could feel himself blushing, sitting awkwardly on his own bed. “Sorry. I just…really like hockey.”
“Well,” Ilya wetted his lips and smiled wide before continuing. “Is lucky I am also on team.”
Shane froze, putting the pieces together. He’d be spending most of his free time with Ilya, if he was correct. Between studying in their dorm and hockey practice, they wouldn’t get a reprieve from each other. His anxiety skyrocketed, though he worked hard to conceal it.
“That’s so cool!” Shane lied through his teeth, feeling somewhat bad about it but not enough to compromise himself. “Were you scouted in Russia?”
“Da,” Ilya’s reply was short and to the point. He eyed Shane carefully, as though he was able to see past the omega’s mask and straight to his anxiety.
“Well,” Shane cleared his throat, “I should probably get going. I need to go get my textbooks and check the online portal for any reading before classes start.”
“I will come with,” Ilya decided with a firm nod.
“Oh, you really don’t have to—“ Shane started, somewhat frantically.
“Is ok. I need books,” Ilya explained away, rising from his bed and taking long strides towards the door. He turned back over his shoulder, giving Shane a questioning glance. “You are coming?”
“Oh, uh, yeah!” Shane stammered, rising to his feet and walking after Ilya.
~*~*~
Sleep that night was extremely difficult for Shane to find. He’d read many assignments, even venturing into the textbooks he wasn’t instructed to read yet. Ilya, meanwhile, either spent his time inside and reading what appeared to be a Russian novel, or outside smoking. The first two times he’d walked back into the dorm smelling like a cigarette, Shane had scolded him. By the third, he stopped caring too much. Let the alpha destroy his lungs, he decided.
Then, it was nearly eleven at night, and Ilya set his book down, got up, and stretched. Shane pretended not to notice, continuing to read his organic chemistry textbook. Wordlessly, the alpha grabbed his shower caddy with his toiletries in it and left the room, allowing Shane a moment to collect himself. The moment didn’t last long, though, as Ilya returned shortly thereafter. Shane, having set down his own book, decided he should get ready for bed as well. Again, without speaking to the alpha, he grabbed his own caddy and made his way to the communal washroom down the hall.
Wanting desperately to have some time to himself, Shane decided to take a shower, even though he had that morning before leaving his family home. The hot water helped loosen his muscles, and by the time he was making his way back to his dorm, he felt better, if just a bit. Then, he opened the door to his dorm, and everything shifted drastically.
Ilya’s scent ambushed Shane as he stood there, door open, staring intently at his roommate. The alpha looked over at him, giving him an annoyed glance before motioning for him to come in and close the door. Shane did as he was silently instructed, moving too stiff to appear normal. He tried to loosen his muscles, and as he did, he found it was more the soothing scent wafting off Ilya than his own control over his body. Shane set his caddy clumsily down next to his bed, sitting down and looking at the floor, thinking.
Ilya smelled of the cold. The same scent that pushed into Shane’s home during the iciest of winters. It was softer than he’s imagined from the other man. He remembered times at home before they moved to a nicer place. Shane would watch the windows frost over, inhaling the icy scent until his lungs ached. But this…this was better yet than that nostalgic scent by far. Where frost and ice and snow alone lacked depth, Ilya’s scent had an undercurrent of patchouli, leather, and something distinctly alpha.
“Hollander?” Ilya’s voice floated into Shane’s awareness. He startled, blinking owlishly at the alpha.
“Yes,” Shane breathed the word out. He was loosing his cool. He dug his short nails into the palms of his hands, no doubt leaving little crescent shapes.
“You are ok?” Ilya asked slowly, scanning Shane’s form from head to toe.
“Yes.” Why couldn’t Shane find another word to say? He shook his head, forcing the scent from his focus and replacing it with rationale. “Um, sorry. I…guess it’s just that I haven’t…uh…slept away from home. Ever.” The lie about why he’d spaced out came so naturally, Shane almost felt bad.
Ilya’s eyebrows raised a touch, signaling his confusion. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Shane chuckled lightly, releasing some pressure from his hands and feeling the sting of strained skin prickle there. “I know. It’s embarrassing.”
“No,” Ilya countered, expression turning very serious. “Is nice. You must have good family.”
“I do,” Shane smiled authentically. After his parents had dropped him off that morning and helped him get settled, he’d had a sort of sinking feeling blooming in his chest. He’d miss them. He did at that very moment.
“Good,” Ilya nodded as he spoke. “Is better than not. Good family is important.”
“You’re right,” Shane agreed. He looked at his phone, the clock reading 11:17 pm. “Well, we should get some sleep. First practice is tomorrow.”
“Da,” the syllable was spoken with a bit of hesitation. “I will put scent patch back on. Is not a problem.”
“What?” Shane asked, a bit of panic dropping into his stomach. “No! I mean, it’s ok, really.” The idea of losing Ilya’s smell when he was just getting used to it was almost painful. Shane wanted nothing more than to bask in the scent, to roll in it and let it envelope his very being.
Ilya smirked at the quick answer, letting out a loud, amused huff of breath. “Ok. If you insist.”
Before Shane could argue that he wasn’t insisting, Ilya turned off the lamp next to his bed, turning over and facing the wall. The omega stared on for too long before laying down himself and turning off his own light. Sleep didn’t come to him quickly, though. Ilya’s breath fell into an easy pattern, and eventually, he was snoring softly. The sound was nothing like most of the garish sounds people made in their sleep. His were…so gentle. Like he was just exhaling or sighing loudly rather than a bone rattling noise. Shane liked it. He really liked it.
Soon, his mind was spiraling, and badly. Surely Ilya had noticed something was off with Shane, as he hadn’t been subtle about his reaction to the other’s scent. Then, there was the reaction itself. Usually, alphas without scent suppressants were overbearing and a little gross in his nose. But Ilya…he smelled like home. He smelled nostalgic, and warm, despite the icy nature of his pheromones. Shane was in trouble, just as he’d predicted upon seeing his new roommate. And now, they had to go to practice together and pretend nothing had happened. Oh, this was not going to end well.
~*~*~
Shane and Ilya were the only new members on the team. The Toronto Varsity Blues were very selective, and only recruited the best. Shane was honored, and Ilya seemed…unbothered. It was like he had better places to be, but decided to grace the team with his presence. He’d better back that attitude up with some real talent, otherwise he wouldn’t last long.
“Alright team!” the captain’s voice boomed inside the locker room, grabbing everyone’s attention. Shane didn’t have to do much, as he had been sitting by himself, not talking to anyone. “Let’s welcome our rookies for the season. Shane Hollander,” the captain motioned to Shane, who blushed furiously and waved a tentative hand. “And Ilya Rozanov.” Ilya simply nodded his head, scanning everyone’s faces until his gaze landed on Shane, lingering there for longer than the others before he moved on. “Now,” the captain continued, “my name is Hayden Pike. You can call me Hayden, Pike, cap. Whatever floats your boat.”
“Is nice to meet you,” Ilya responded, affect flat and nonchalant.
“I am so excited to be a part of this team,” Shane’s words came out quicker and louder than he’d meant them to be. He reigned himself in before continuing. “I really admire this team’s dedication and efficiency. I can’t wait to be a part of that.”
“Well, we’re happy to have you, too,” Hayden said to Shane. Then, he looked at Ilya, offering a blinding smile. “And you, too.”
“Are you a beta?” one of the team members asked Shane, tone almost accusatory.
“Uh…yeah,” Shane’s voice almost escaped him, though he forced a whisper.
“Marleau!” Hayden scolded. “You can’t just ask people about their secondary gender.” The captain turned to Shane, offering an apologetic look. “Sorry. It’s just…we don’t get many betas in uni level hockey. Even less go pro. But your gameplay is really impressive, I’ve seen the tapes. So nobody is going to make a big deal about it.” Hunter eyed the other players, including Ilya. “Right?”
“Yeah!” one player clapped Shane on the shoulder, and the omega had to stifle a flinch. “I mean, it’s not like you’re an omega or anything,” he continued on, and Shane worked hard to keep his nerves under control.
“And what is problem with omega playing hockey?” Ilya asked, voice loud against the silence that had washed over the team.
The player who had spoken to Shane turned towards Ilya, his hand dropping from where it had once laid. His jersey read Boiziau, and Shane tucked the information away for later.
“For one, it’s against the rules,” the man replied, taking a moment to consider his words before finishing his thought. “And second, it’s too dangerous. Hockey players, especially the alphas, get aggressive. You know that. I’ve seen your tapes. Could you imagine if an alpha attacked an omega on the ice? Or even worse…bit them?”
Ilya’s gaze flickered to Shane before landing back on the man addressing him. “Ah. I see. Because alphas cannot show respect, omegas are outcast. Seems fair.”
“Hey,” the man raised both hands in defense of himself. “I never said it was fair. It’s just the sad truth.”
“Da,” Ilya snorted out a humorless laugh, “sad.”
After the heated exchange, the team got to dressing and putting on their gear. Shane hid away from the others as much as he could, skilled in doing so after years of playing in high school. He quickly learned that Boiziau went by JJ, and despite his somewhat ignorant comments, they ended up getting along pretty well. After practice, it was time to change and shower. Due to the showers being extremely public and exposed, Shane decided he’d shower back in the dorms instead. At least there were stalls there.
“Hollander,” Ilya trailed after Shane as he began to leave the arena. “Wait up.”
“Don’t you have to shower?” Shane asked without looking back at the alpha.
“Do you need to shower?” Ilya challenged, causing Shane to sigh and turn back towards him. “We walk to dorm together. Is getting dark.”
“I can take care of myself,” Shane ground out, looking down at the linoleum to avoid Ilya’s potent stare.
“Da. But me? I am helpless at night. Could be attacked. Better safe than sorry,” Ilya explained, tone joking yet firm in its conviction.
Shane continued to stare at the floor before nodding slowly. He had a feeling Ilya wouldn’t give up, and really, he just wanted to wash off and go to bed. After spending the previous night tossing and turning, he was exhausted, beyond so.
Together, the two walked back to their shared dorm room. It had gotten pretty late, and as a result, the walk was a little unnerving at times. The path between the arena and the student housing block was completely dark in places, certain lightbulbs having gone out at some point. Shane was actually quite glad to have Ilya by his side, though he didn’t dare say that. Instead, they walked in silence, but not the awkward kind. It was nice, sharing space with someone and not having to entertain some surface level conversation.
When they got back, both of them grabbed their shower caddies and walked to the showers together, still silent and comfortable in it. While they showered, Shane tried to push away the lewd thoughts he was having about his roommate and teammate. Ilya looming over him. Ilya teasing him. Trailing hot, wet kisses down his body until he came to that special place between Shane’s legs, the place that was meant to be fucked hard and knotted.
No. Shane was not to think like that anymore. Just imagining Ilya in that way was causing a bit of slick to drip down his right leg, and he had to scrub it away with his scent repellant soap harder than before.
By the time he was finished, Shane was more stressed than before. He walked briskly back to his dorm while Ilya finished up, dropping to his bed and burying his face into his pillow as he laid flat on his stomach. He stayed there, completely numb and struggling to think clearly, until his roommate came in.
“You are ok?” Ilya’s voice was almost gentle as he asked Shane the simple question.
“Yeah,” Shane lied, turning his head so he could meet Ilya’s concerned gaze.
“You do not seem ok.”
“I am.”
“Ok.” Ilya sat on his own bed, wearing a black tank top and a pair of gym shorts. He looked great in the sleepwear. Shane pushed the thought aside with effort.
Slowly, while still looking on at him, Ilya removed one scent patch, then the other. Immediately, the scent caused Shane to relax. He buried his head back into his pillow, now with his arms coming around it to hug it. Yes, that was nice. The pheromones were slowly bringing Shane back to the present, calming the overstimulation that had left him numb.
“Hollander,” Ilya sounded off, not his usual confident, cocky self. Shane turned his head back towards him, blinking sleepily at him. “I ask you question, da?”
“Sure, what’s up?” Shane spoke lazily, his voice lilting through the words.
Ilya studied Shane for a long few moments before sighing and looking away. “Never mind. Go to sleep. Class starts tomorrow.”
Shane didn’t have to be told twice. Without even turning off his lamp, he turned towards the wall and hugged the pillow tighter yet to his chest. He could tell the light on his nightstand was put out a few minutes later, presumably by Ilya. The thought made him happy, comfortable. He drifted to sleep with that sense of security heavy on his mind.
~*~*~
Ilya and Shane did not, evidently, share any classes. The omega was happy about that; the longer he spent around the alpha, the more he started to care about him. In the week they’d been roommates, they’d talked about easy things, complex emotions, dark memories, and everything in between. Shane found himself rambling about hockey strategy and pro level stats, and Ilya simply sat there and listened, interjecting every so often with a comment or question. One time, he found himself asking what the other was reading, and Ilya responded that it was ‘War and Peace’, the classic Russian novel. He tried to explain the plot to Shane, but the omega had a hard time following. The book was huge, after all.
When the topic of family came up, Ilya had initially frozen up, trying to change the conversation. Shane decided he’d start by talking about his own upbringing, sharing the ups and downs. He revealed that he had been diagnosed with autism at age fifteen, completely embarrassed by the fact. Ilya assured him he had nothing to be ashamed of before finally opening up about his own family. Between his late mother, abusive father, and addict brother, his life back in Russia sounded terrible.
“Is that why you left?” Shane asked in a hushed tone, unsure of what else to say.
“Da.”
“Good,” Shane determined. “You deserve better than that.”
Ilya looked pointedly away from Shane, and the omega swore he saw a hint of a blush there.
~*~*~
Practice took place every evening, and the more Shane worked with the team, the more he felt himself fitting in. JJ and Hayden had taken special interest in him, deciding they’d become his friends one way or another. Ilya kept to himself, though he did seem to gravitate towards the omega from time to time, listening in on his conversations with other team members. Shane wondered if his roommate was as nervous as he was. He tried not to think too hard about it.
By the time the weekend rolled around, Shane and Ilya had grown very close, falling into a consistent rhythm. Saturday afternoon and the alpha was reading his novel, almost at the end. He stopped reading, turning to Shane, who had been working on an assignment for his calculus class.
“We go out tonight, da?” Ilya’s question felt a bit like a demand.
“What?” Shane looked up from his homework, head tilting to the side.
“I know club,” Ilya’s explained. “Is legal to go at our age here. Is it not?”
“No, it is…” Shane trailed off, unsure of how to break it to Ilya that he’d never gone clubbing before. “I’m just not one for crowds.”
“I will be there,” Ilya explained away with a wave of the hand. “Will be fun.”
“Uh…” Shane tried to come up with a reason, any reason, he couldn’t. Ilya noticed his hesitation, and sat up straighter on his bed.
“Hollander. You cannot stay in dorm always. Is not good for…brain? What is word for it?” Ilya’s frustration bubbled as he tried to think of the right words. Shane found it almost endearing.
“Mental health?” Shane supplied, earning a nod from the other.
“Da. Mental health. You will be social. I will help. Sounds good?” Ilya spoke carefully, as though he was trying to convince a child to try a new food.
Shane sighed, putting the paper he’d been writing on in his textbook and closing it carefully. “Ok. But I won’t promise I’ll stay for long.”
A real, genuine smile split Ilya’s face. “Good. We get ready now.”
~*~*~
By the time Ilya and Shane arrived at a local club, the music could be heard thumping steadily from outside the building. The omega stopped in his tracks about three meters from the door, and the other quickly noticed and turned back to him.
“You are ok?” Ilya asked, half teasing and half sincere.
“Yeah,” Shane lied. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?” Ilya took a step closer to Shane, eyeing him skeptically. “We can leave. Is not a big deal.”
“No, I’m fine,” Shane said with a touch more confidence, rolling his shoulders back and looking at the door, the bouncer eyeing them as he did. “Yeah, let’s go in.”
The bouncer scanned both of their IDs, Shane’s driver’s license and Ilya’s passport card. He allowed them through wordlessly, and a moment later, they were inside. The bright lights cast a blue and purple glow over the dance floor, painting the people there with the odd hue. It almost made them look like aliens, Shane thought distantly. Ilya started walking towards the bar, at which point the omega decided to follow close behind. He may have come to the club, but he’d be damned if he ended up stranded and alone.
As they neared the long bar at the edge of the dance floor, the smell of unsurpassed alpha and alcohol hitting him like a truck. Ilya seemed to notice, turning to assess Shane. When he saw that the other was flushed and forcing a smile, the alpha reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder. Where the sudden touch would have normally been unwelcome, Shane found himself comforted by it.
“Is ok. We get drink, and loosen up,” Ilya said, so sure of himself that Shane couldn’t find it in himself to argue. Together, they walked closer to the bar yet, the alpha’s hand falling from his shoulder. Shane almost missed the warmth.
Two shots and a half hour later, and Shane was evidently feeling less overwhelmed. Himself and Ilya started by sitting at one of the few tables scattered along the outside of the massive room. The alpha seemed to be letting the other get used to things before moving forward. When Shane was tipsy and more at ease, Ilya decided it was time to dance, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the dance floor, and he couldn’t be happier. He was caught up in the moment, adrenaline and excitement coursing through his veins. They found an area that wasn’t too packed, and to Shane’s surprise, the other grabbed his hips and brought them close together. He gasped in surprise, though it wasn’t unpleasant. Actually…it was sort of nice.
“Is ok?” Ilya whispered in Shane’s ear, and the omega shivered at the close proximity and hot breath.
“Yes,” Shane answered honestly. “I…yes.”
He could almost hear the curl of the alpha’s lips in his next words. “Good. Tell me if you want to stop.”
“Don’t,” Shane whispered despite himself, his arms coming up and around Ilya’s shoulders. The alcohol had loosened him enough to lean into his attraction to the other man. He liked the feeling, momentarily pretending his actions didn’t have consequences. They were in a dark, crowded club, in the far corner, and most likely unrecognizable. The false sense of security eased his nerves, and he let himself sway in time with Ilya.
Shane wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually, the unyielding need to go to the washroom overtook him. He leaned into close to Ilya’s ear, whispering softly there. “I have to use the washroom.”
“You want me to come with?” the alpha asked gently, pulling back to scan Shane’s face.
“If you want,” Shane muttered, embarrassed of the fact that he did in fact want Ilya to come with.
“I will come with. We go now,” Ilya decided with a firm nod and a small smirk.
Together, they walked towards the washroom at the back of the club, making their way down the winding hallway that lead to the facilities. Ilya joined Shane in the small, gross room, leaning back against the door as a way to block others from entering, whether intentional or not. Without thinking more of it, Shane used the urinal, and he could distantly feel Ilya’s gaze on him, though he worked hard to ignore it. When he was done, he flushed and washed his hands, turning to the alpha and finding they were standing rather close together.
“Hi,” Shane murmured, eyes scanning Ilya’s face. When his gaze landed on his lips, he couldn’t help but linger there for longer than necessary.
“Hi,” Ilya replied, his attention now drifting down to Shane’s lips as well.
“I…” Shane trailed off. When he didn’t continue, Ilya grabbed gently behind his back and pulled them closer together.
“I want to kiss you,” Ilya’s voice was hoarse, as though he was working hard to keep it even.
“Yes, please,” Shane spoke before he could think.
A moment later, Ilya’s lips were on Shane’s, hot and hungry and devouring in nature. The omega tried to keep up, but the other quickly took control, allowing him to simply enjoy himself rather than try too hard. It was nice. Better than the few kisses he’d shared with girls in the past. He’d never felt like this, the heat pooling low in his stomach distracting and addicting simultaneously. With gentle strength, Ilya pushed Shane back a bit, following after until they were standing close, the omega’s back against the wall farthest from the door.
“What is this?” Shane asked breathlessly when they broke apart.
“We are kissing,” Ilya stated, matter of fact.
“Yeah, but…” Shane trailed off, thinking hard but finding his words were failing him.
“Is ok, Hollander,” Ilya assured, one hand coming up to stroke lightly at Shane’s cheek. He found himself leaning into the warm, calloused fingers.
“I want you,” Shane let slip, unable to keep the words in.
“Da. Me too,” Ilya agreed.
“But it’s…a bad idea…right?” Shane spoke slowly, letting his eyes flutter closed when Ilya’s fingers traced gently over his lips just seconds after.
“Only if team finds out,” Ilya decided. “We will not let them. Deal?”
Shane nodded slowly, and Ilya pulled his hand away at a similar rate. Seconds later, and they were kissing again, this time rougher and hungrier. Shane let his body take control, grabbing at Ilya’s hair, his waist, his shoulders, his face. Any and all contact was welcomed, something he wasn’t used to. Typically, physical touch felt like a hot iron on a third degree burn, stinging and repulsive. This, though…this was exhilarating. He couldn’t stop, even as they pulled away occasionally to catch their breath. When Shane slipped his hands under Ilya’s shirt and ran rough hands over his stomach, the alpha pulled back and grabbed his wrists.
“Not here,” Ilya decided, eyeing Shane with a strange mix of raw attraction and gentle care.
“Should we go?” Shane asked, wanting nothing more than for Ilya to lead and take control.
“Da. Let us go.”
The short trek back to their dorm was too long. Shane kept eyeing Ilya eagerly, and he looked back at him with hungry glances. By the time they made it into the old building, they hadn’t said a word to one another, the tension crackling between them like a lightning storm brewing. The short walk up to the second floor was infuriating. All Shane wanted to do was grab Ilya’s hand or hair or face. But they couldn’t get caught, they both knew that well enough. The moment Ilya closed the door behind them after they entered the small room, he grabbed Shane around the waist, pulling him dangerously close.
“Is still ok?” Ilya asked, his deep voice rumbling lightly.
Shane looked down at the scent patches stuck under Ilya’s collar bones, spurred on by pure instinct as he started to peel one off. Ilya grabbed his wrist, effectively stopping him. Upon realizing just what he’d been doing, the omega looked up at the alpha with a terrified expression stretched over his features.
“Sorry, I don’t know what I was doing, uh,” Shane started to pull away, but Ilya held with minimal pressure, allowing him to escape if he really wanted to. But he didn’t. He let Ilya consider his words, their eyes meeting the entire time.
“Hollander…” Ilya thought hard before continuing. “I have question. Do not be embarrassed. Is nothing to feel bad about. Are you…omega?”
Shane knew it was coming, but the impact still caused his mind to escape him. He couldn’t feel his appendages, the numbness stretching inwards and gnawing at him. Ilya seemed to notice almost right away, his arms around Shane’s waist tightening as a sort of anchor.
“Hollander. Holl…Shane. Is ok. I will not tell. I swear, no one will know,” Ilya assured, rubbing soothing patterns into Shane’s back.
“I’m sorry,” Shane sobbed the words out. He cursed under his breath, turning his gaze pointedly away from Ilya before stammering out more. “I’ve always loved hockey. I don’t want to stop, and— and I know I’m good. But nobody would take me seriously if they knew. You heard JJ, they think I’d be a liability. I can’t— they can’t—“
“Shhh,” Ilya soothed, lifting one hand to weave his fingers through Shane’s short brown hair. He scratched feather light, and the omega melted into the loving touch. “I keep secret well. In Russia, is against law for people like us. Cannot date boys, not if you are boy. Will be put in jail.”
Compelled to share more, Shane leaned his head lightly against Ilya’s shoulder as the alpha continued his gentle ministrations on his scalp. “In Canada, it’s illegal to falsify your secondary gender. My mom and I…we forged medical records. We lied to pretty much everyone. I could go to jail.”
“Hmmm,” Ilya’s humming voice vibrated Shane where he rested against him. “Will not be problem. They will not know. Is secret.”
“Thank you,” Shane murmured. “Sorry, I guess I ruined the mood…”
Ilya chuckled under his breath, gently leaning Shane back so they could see one another properly. “No. Is good thing, for me to know. We fuck another time.” Shane blushed furiously at the blunt language, and Ilya smirked, clearly aware of the reaction. “For now, I take off scent patch. I know you like my smell. We will cuddle, if you want. Da?”
An authentic smile pulled at Shane’s lips, and he nodded once in confirmation. “I’d like that.”
“Good.” Ilya kissed Shane firmly on the forehead.
That night, the two men shared Shane’s twin sized bed. Due to the confined space, they cuddled close to one another, limbs tangled and faces pressed against the other’s. At one point, Shane dropped his nose directly into Ilya’s scent gland on the right side of his neck, inhaling so deep he was sure he’d never forget the smell. Ilya hummed his encouragement, and the omega fell asleep like that, feeling extremely safe and held and cared for.
~*~*~
The man Shane got his suppressants from was, by all accounts, a drug dealer. He didn’t only sell hormonal medication, but also most street drugs. He had always felt uncomfortable coming to him, and when he announced to Ilya that he was going to meet the man, the alpha argued fervently.
“Is dangerous,” Ilya tried to convince him, tone sharp and unyielding.
“I know,” Shane ground out, very frustrated and unsure of how to express it. “I can take care of myself. I’m not a child.”
Ilya snorted, eyeing Shane up and down. “I am aware. But no. I will come.”
“Uh, no,” Shane asserted. His growing aggravation felt uncomfortable in his chest. His throat felt tight.
“Uh, yes,” Ilya mocked, still standing firm in his conviction. “You should not be on those drugs. Are bad for omegas.”
“Whatever,” Shane looked off behind Ilya.
“No, not ‘whatever’,” Ilya mimicked Shane again. “You could die. I asked google. Is very dangerous.”
“It’s more dangerous to stop,” Shane’s voice was fading into a whisper, his anger overflowing his senses.
“Shane—“ Ilya started.
Shane, unable to manage his emotions further, reached up and tangled shaking fingers through his short locks. He pulled steadily, the tightness lighting up his scalp reawakening his other senses. Ilya surged forward, and, without a word, grabbed softly at Shane’s hands. He eased them closer to his head, lessening the tension there. The omega blinked hard a few times before refocusing on Ilya.
“I am sorry,” Ilya managed, even though it was clear he wasn’t accustomed to speaking those words. “You can continue drugs. But I will come with. Ok?”
With shaky breaths, Shane hesitantly nodded. Ilya let go of his hands, and the other slowly pulled his hands from his hair. The only other person who had done that was his mother. How had Ilya known what to do? He was dumbfounded, the answer eluding him.
Together, they took the bus to the drug dealer’s apartment. Shane didn’t know the man’s name, as it protected both of them. When they arrived, the omega texted the man, and he was at the door to let them in moments later.
“You brought a friend,” the dealer said, knowing tone almost teasing in nature.
“Yeah,” Shane said softly.
“Guess he knows you’re an omega?” the man prodded.
“Yep. He sure does,” Shane shuffled his feet awkwardly as he responded.
“Nice. Good for you.” The dealer started bringing out a large pill bottle before Shane could think to respond, continuing on as if he hadn’t said a thing. “I’ve got a supply issue, so I wasn’t able to get the ten milligram pills. I have two point five mil, instead. So take four every day at the same time. Sound good?”
“Yeah, sounds good,” Shane confirmed, taking the outstretched bottle gingerly. He pulled his backpack off of his shoulder, pushing the pills into the main pocket and closing it with careful precision. “Thank you.”
“Those should last you three months,” the dealer explained. “Text me when you’ve got a week left, just like this time. Deal?”
“Great,” Shane agreed. “I’ll see you in three months.”
“You got it, kid,” the man waved him off, smile kind enough, though it urged both Shane and Ilya out the door.
When they stepped outside and took a seat at the nearby bus stop, Ilya was strangely silent. Shane wasn’t sure what to say or do, so instead he clenched and unclenched his fists where they sat on his lap. He stared straight ahead, anticipation for the bus growing by the second. Where their silence was sometimes nice and peaceful, this time it was tense and palpable. Finally, Ilya turned folly towards Shane, clearing his throat and effectively grabbing the omega’s attention.
“You should not take those. I have bad feeling. Is dangerous,” Ilya explained, very solemn as he did.
“I…that’s not your decision,” Shane muttered.”
“Da, you are right. But I had to say it. I am worried,” Ilya’s voice was a ghost of its usual grandiose.
Shane looked back out at the street, catching sight of the bus and standing wordlessly. Ilya followed suit, and neither said another word to the other for the rest of that day.