Work Text:
Euijoo was a sick sick man, he had to be, because nothing could explain the situation he was in right now, humping his pillow desperately while thinking of Nicholas.
His day had started just like any other, he woke up early, got ready, and went straight to the company to rehearse. Today was a bit different, though, because Nicholas, Jo, K, and Fuma had a different schedule from the rest of the group. Euijoo didn't even get the chance to encourage Nicholas because he had already left by the time he emerged from his room.
He was genuinely excited for them. Being invited to the B.League Award Show was truly a privilege. Still, he felt gloomy because, all these years, ever since debuting, they had spent nearly all their time together. Sometimes they even got sick of being attached at the hip, yet it still felt strange whenever the team wasn't complete.
It felt weird rehearsing with only five members, the practice room seeming so empty when they usually barely spent any time apart. Maki’s jokes weren’t as funny, usually Nicholas’s loud laugh would fill the awkward silence. Even so, he pushed through. He was the leader, after all, and wavering wasn't an option. He had to remind himself that, as they got older, their schedules would become more diverse and they wouldn't always be together as a complete group.
That didn't change the fact that he felt particularly lonely today. He hated to admit it, but he missed Nicholas. He missed hearing his laugh, touching him absentmindedly, and watching his face light up whenever he looked at him.
He had been feeling like this more often lately. He didn't know what had changed or what had triggered him to become more clingy toward Nicholas, but it had simply happened.
The feeling intensified when he got home that evening and Nicholas still wasn't back at the dorm. When he opened the apartment door, he was full of anticipation, and embarrassment immediately heated his cheeks when he realized how ridiculous he was being. Nicholas won’t be back until later that evening. So he decided to suck it up and retreat to his room.
It only got worse, though. He had a bad habit of scrolling through Twitter and looking at what fans posted and thought about their team. He kept telling himself he was simply doing his duty as a leader, that he was keeping up with fan expectations and learning what they should or shouldn't do as a team.
That's when he saw them, all the photos and videos from the B.League Award Show. Jo and Nicholas had formed a unit, and their visuals were blinding. Yet Euijoo couldn't take his eyes off Nicholas. He was wearing a gray suit with a striped shirt and a black tie. The blazer was slightly oversized, making his shoulders look broader and sharper. What struck Euijoo the most, though, was the YSL earring. Nicholas wore it on his right ear, and it swayed with every movement.
He felt like a madman. Being captivated by a fucking earring was ridiculous.
Things only got worse because Nicholas talked a lot in the videos, switching effortlessly between Korean, English, and Japanese as he always did. This time, however, it felt different. He carried himself differently. Euijoo could've sworn he'd never seen Nicholas this charismatic before.
The videos kept appearing on his feed, and he found it impossible to shake the feeling. Lying in bed, he felt hot. His body was reacting to Nicholas so openly, and he felt deeply embarrassed by it. He had never felt like this before, especially not toward his own bandmate. He had already admitted to himself that Nicholas was attractive. It was hard not to when they saw each other every day in every possible setting. But being aroused because of him was a completely different matter.
As he watched Nicholas speak, his left hand drifted over his collarbone and down to his hardening nipple, which was peaking through his shirt. His breathing intensified, and he involuntarily hissed when he pinched it, the sensation snapping him back to reality.
He quickly turned off his phone and tried to shake the feeling away. This was wrong. He could feel his erection straining against the fabric of his boxers, a visible tent already forming beneath his joggers. He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing. Maybe he was sick. When he touched his face, he could feel how hot he was. This wasn't normal behavior.
The guilt that washed over him was unbearable. He couldn't believe he was getting turned on because of Nicholas and his stupid earring. It wasn't his fault that Nicholas felt the need to show off his language skills in front of everyone. Euijoo was simply admiring him. At least, that's what he kept telling himself.
Eventually, he decided this was his cue to go to sleep. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he hadn't jerked off in a while. It was fine, he was fine. Tomorrow morning would come, and all of this would be forgotten. Sleeping proved useless. Euijoo kept tossing and turning, unable to get Nicholas out of his head. When he turned his phone back on, he told himself he just wanted to look at Nicholas one last time before finally going to sleep.
But sleep became the last thing on his mind when Nicholas's photos appeared again. He felt electrified. His whole body tingled, and he couldn't bear the heat anymore. He sat up and pulled off his shirt, reassuring himself that he was simply too warm. He hesitated. Maybe he just needed to jerk off and move on with his life. Lying back down, he pulled up a video of Nicholas speaking and turned up the volume. He held his phone in one hand while slowly caressing his torso with the other. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this, but the fact that Nicholas and Harua weren't at the dorm gave him courage. No one would know.
And he deserved to take care of himself too, even if it meant jerking off while thinking about his ridiculously attractive bandmate. He kept watching the video while his hand wandered lower, grazing the bulge beneath his trousers. Craving more friction, he pressed more firmly against it, a whine escaping his lips. He quickly bit down on his lower lip, feeling shy. As he grew more turned on, the embarrassment only intensified, and he rolled onto his side with his back facing the door. He tried to imagine himself somewhere other than the dorm, the reality of what he was doing being too difficult to bear.
He grabbed a discarded pillow and placed it between his thighs, desperate to feel more but not wanting to rush things either. If this was the only time he allowed himself to do something so questionable, he had to savor it. As the pillow pressed against him, his hips began moving subconsciously, chasing the sensation. It became harder to keep quiet, little whines slipping from his lips as he continued grinding against the pillow. This was so humiliating. He had never felt this hopeless. He was humping a pillow like a horny dog because of Nicholas. If anyone found out about this, he would quit his job and exile himself out of sheer embarrassment.
He picked up his discarded phone and propped it against a pillow so he could continue watching the video while moving his hips. He could tell he was getting close. His movements became sloppier, his breathing uneven, but everything came to a halt when the sound of Nicholas's voice suddenly stopped. He blinked several times, clearing his vision as he grabbed his phone to inspect it. He continued moving against the pillow more slowly, not wanting to lose the sensation, but his breath caught when he saw the screen.
Nicholas's name, he was calling him. What perfect timing. The one time Euijoo decided to take care of himself, he got interrupted.
There was no way he could answer Nicholas in his current state. He wasn't taking that risk. But as he reached to decline the call, his hand slipped while he was still distractedly grinding against the pillow, and he accidentally swiped right. He froze instantly and held the phone away from him, unable to believe what he had just done.
"Euijoo?" Nicholas's voice pierced through the silence, faint but unmistakably real.
Euijoo flinched and brought the phone to his ear with trembling hands. He tried to steady his breathing before speaking, unwilling to reveal what he had been doing. "Hello?" he said, attempting to sound composed despite how flustered he felt. He had been so close, too. The universe was truly cruel.
"Hey, I wanted to know what you were doing. I was thinking of coming back to the dorm and-". "No!" He jerked upright, his voice echoing through the room. He immediately slapped a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress the sound that threatened to escape. This was torture. His body was still sensitive, the pillow still pressed against him, and now he had to listen to the voice of the very person responsible for this mess.
"I mean," he tried again, "I'm a little busy right now, and I'd prefer to be alone. Without any distractions." He did his best to sound convincing despite the circumstances. For a moment, all he could hear was Nicholas's breathing. There was no immediate response, and Euijoo was convinced the call had disconnected.
Then Nicholas spoke again. "Okay. I can come home later. Have a good night, Juju." The line went dead. As Euijoo tried to process what had just happened, the video resumed playing, Nicholas's voice once again filling the room. He felt insane. The one time he wanted a little privacy, he got interrupted. He couldn't deny that hearing Nicholas's voice again after an entire day apart had been pleasant, but his timing couldn't have been worse. What lingered most, however, was the teasing way Nicholas had said Juju. It sounded almost mocking. Still, Euijoo reassured himself that everything was fine. Nicholas would come back later, and by then he would have returned to normal. Unfortunately, he was still in an incredibly sensitive state. His arousal hadn't faded, and the call had only made things worse.
So he returned to what he had been doing. He set his phone back against the pillow, replayed the same video of Nicholas interviewing athletes in different languages, and resumed grinding against the pillow. The relief was immediate. His hips moved faster as he approached release once again. His hands drifted over his chest, lightly pinching at his nipples and making him shiver. At some point, he stopped caring about being quiet. Soft sounds escaped him as he moved more desperately. "Nichol-"
He couldn't stop himself. In his mind, Nicholas was there with him, wanting him just as much as he wanted Nicholas. He wondered how Nicholas would react if he saw him like this, whiny and needy because of him, desperately humping his pillow just because he had worn a suit and a stupid dangling earring.
Would he touch Euijoo, encouraging him to finish while guiding his movements, his large hands resting on his hips and chest? Or would he prefer to stay where he was and watch Euijoo make a mess of himself, teasing him and telling him how pathetic he was for thinking about his bandmate like that?
Either way, Euijoo would have been satisfied. He was ready to throw everything away just to have a moment with Nicholas, free of consequences. As he neared release once again, he became so consumed by the sensation and by Nicholas's voice that he failed to hear the front door opening. He continued murmuring Nicholas's name, repeating it like a prayer. He had never felt this desperate before. Normally, taking care of himself was quick and practical, something he did in the shower when things became stressful.
But tonight felt different. It was as if something had taken hold of him, leaving him wanting more and more, his desires refusing to settle no matter how hard he tried to ignore them.
Then he felt it, the relief. His orgasm was powerful as he kept grinding his hips against his pillow, rolling his eyes back while saying Nicholas's name. He felt like he blacked out for a second, his vision getting blurry as he lost control of his body. His boxers were soaked, and immediately he felt a chill run through his body, he was spent. Not having the energy to wash himself immediately, he decided to lie in bed for a bit.
He grabbed his phone again, exiting the video and looking at the time. It was past midnight. Nicholas was supposed to come back any minute now, knowing that they had an important meeting tomorrow morning. That seemed to motivate him to get up and wash himself. As tired as he was, he wasn't going to go to bed in this state. His cum was starting to dry in his boxers, and he needed a hot shower to make himself sleepy again.
His head was buzzing, and he felt restless after that orgasm. He felt like he had discovered something new about himself, and he didn't want to find out any more. He wouldn't let himself find out more, he concluded. This event was a one-time thing, a moment of weakness. He was a man at the end of the day. He didn't bother putting on a shirt before exiting his room.
As he opened the door, he noticed that the living room lights were on, even though he had turned them off when he retreated to his room. He blinked multiple times, trying to accommodate the sudden change of light, a complete contrast to his room, which had been washed in darkness. Then he saw him. Nicholas, sprawled across their sofa, with a teasing look on his face. Euijoo froze. He was stuck in place, not wanting to take another step forward.
They locked eyes, and he felt Nicholas's gaze scan down his exposed chest before traveling lower, stopping on the wet patch on his trousers. Euijoo immediately reddened, putting his hands over his trousers and trying to cover the stain. He tried to speak, to come up with an excuse, but Nicholas beat him to it. "What happened, Euijoo? Peed your pants?" He kept watching him with a mocking gaze, making it painfully obvious that he knew exactly what Euijoo had been doing.
"I just... had a problem." He tried to explain himself while starting to walk toward the bathroom. He wasn’t having this time of conversation with him, not now, not ever. "I'm just going to the bathroom." He averted his gaze from Nicholas, keeping it fixed on the bathroom door. He just had to cross the living room, and then he could lock himself inside and not come out until Nicholas went to sleep. That would've meant spending a couple of hours in there, but it was worth it. Nothing was more embarrassing than this.
He walked faster while Nicholas watched him. As he approached the door and started to feel relief, Nicholas's hand shot out from the sofa and grabbed his arm. His grip was so strong that it stopped Euijoo in his tracks, but he kept his eyes glued to the door.
"Euijoo." Nicholas was speaking in a lower register now, his tone firmer, the teasing completely absent from his voice.
He was in his pajamas too, meaning he had enough time to change and lie down on the sofa. Meaning he could've heard Euijoo saying his name loudly and desperately over and over again.
Euijoo tried to shake his arm free from Nicholas's grip, his only goal being to retreat to the bathroom and lock himself inside, but Nicholas's hold was too strong. There was no denying that Nicholas was stronger than him. He always had been. And now he was using it to his advantage, wanting to mock Euijoo. He got up from the sofa, still holding onto his arm, and positioned himself directly in front of him.
"Euijoo." Nicholas tried again, but one thing Euijoo was better at was being stubborn. He could keep staring at that door until he bored a hole through it. He was fine waiting if it meant Nicholas would eventually drop the subject.
"Juju, look at me." He tried again, lightly tugging on his arm. Euijoo slowly averted his gaze from the door and caught Nicholas's eyes. Nicholas looked serious. Euijoo felt even worse now, embarrassed and ashamed, knowing that he had been jerking off while thinking about Nicholas without his consent. But before he could apologize and try to run away again, Nicholas spoke calmly.
"I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're thinking." He kept holding his arm, slowly caressing it with his thumb as if trying to help him relax. Euijoo maintained eye contact even though it was difficult. He wanted to bury himself alive from shame. He really had terrible luck.
"I'm just trying to understand." Nicholas looked less serious now, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Understand what?" Euijoo asked, because what wasn't clear enough? He was certain Nicholas had heard everything, he didn’t know why Nicholas wasn’t disgusted by him. "What were you doing? Can you try saying it for me?" Nicholas's gaze turned teasing again. He kept caressing his arm, a slight smirk forming on his face, clearly enjoying torturing him.
Euijoo's cheeks heated up once more, and he tried to walk away, but once again it was useless. This was hell. "I don't want to..." He tried weakly, hoping Nicholas would spare him. He lowered his gaze to the floor, unable to look at him any longer. Even though Euijoo was taller than him, right now he felt little, he just wanted to disappear.
"Oh, but baby, the proof is already there. Just admit it. It's okay." Nicholas lightly grabbed his chin with his free hand and lifted his face, forcing him to maintain eye contact. Euijoo's lips trembled as he tried to speak. If he admitted it, there would be no going back. He was sure something would change between them.
Then again, maybe things had already changed the moment Euijoo decided to jerk off while thinking about him. "I masturbated while thinking of you."
He couldn't possibly get any redder than he was now. This was the most humiliating moment of his career, and he had experienced plenty of humiliating moments. Nicholas's eyes lit up at that, and he broke into a full smile, all teeth on display. As much as Euijoo loved his smile, he couldn't bear it right now. "Yeah? Can you tell me exactly how?"
Euijoo tried to shake his head, but Nicholas's grip on his chin was too firm. "Come on, Euijoo. You can do it. Tell me, baby." Nicholas insisted again. He seemed awfully happy for someone whose privacy had supposedly been violated. Euijoo couldn't comprehend why Nicholas was being so cheerful. Maybe he just liked seeing Euijoo crumble in front of him.
"I humped my pillow," he said quietly. Admitting it out loud was even worse. He was 23, for God's sake. He was long past the age of humping his pillow like a teenager. Nicholas’s eyes widened first, clearly surprised by his behaviour, then his smile got wider, biting his lip to try and suppress it. He finally released his chin, brought his hand up, and lightly caressed his cheek with his thumb.
"That's good. You did well, baby." Then he grabbed Euijoo's arms and started walking him backward until the backs of his knees hit the sofa. He sat down, his back gently hitting the backrest, while Nicholas kept his gaze fixed on him before lowering himself to his knees in front of him. He still wore a mocking expression, but Euijoo could see a hint of desire behind his eyes. His hands softly caressed Euijoo's thighs, his touch warm even through the fabric of his trousers, making him shiver. He had completely forgotten that he was still shirtless in front of him, his nipples hard and his body cold from the chilly air.
"Are you tired?" Nicholas asked in a sweet voice. He sounded concerned, though Euijoo wasn't a fool. He was facing a dilemma. He could say yes, and things would end there. He knew Nicholas would let him go, and tomorrow morning they would act as if nothing had happened. Or he could say no and hope for the best. He wanted to believe that Nicholas would do something to him, anything. If the look in his eyes meant what Euijoo thought it did, then things would escalate.
Euijoo was the leader. He was used to sacrificing himself for the sake of the team, used to putting his own needs aside. He had neglected himself countless times, but this one time he wanted to be selfish. He wanted to put his own needs first and finally ask for something for himself. That's exactly what he told himself when he answered. "No."
Nicholas seemed to understand, as if he could feel his desperation. He brought his hands higher, closer to the wet patch on his trousers, gently caressing the material. Euijoo could feel his skin tingling beneath the fabric as Nicholas's hands skimmed higher. "Can I?"
All he had to do was nod. Nicholas's hand settled over his bulge. He wasn't hard, but if Nicholas continued, it wouldn't take much. "Fuck..." He cursed under his breath, his eyes closing as he tensed. Nicholas's hand brushed against the waistband of his joggers before slipping inside, feeling him through his boxers. "You came a lot, Juju. These are still so wet." Nicholas still had that teasing gaze, pitying him.
Euijoo could also hear the smile in his voice. Nicholas palmed him for a moment before slipping his hand inside his boxers as well, using his other hand to pull the fabric aside and free him. Euijoo hissed at the cold air against his skin and opened his eyes, realizing he was already almost completely hard. He caught Nicholas's gaze and was left speechless. Nicholas looked even more affected than he was, his face flushed and his expression slightly surprised by what he saw.
Euijoo brought his hands in front of him and grabbed Nicholas by his shirt, demanding, “Off.” Nicholas seemed amused. “That’s not how you ask, pretty boy.” He started stroking Euijoo’s dick, slowly bringing his hand over the head, forming an O shape with his index finger and thumb and twisting slightly. Euijoo let out a moan and immediately bit his lower lip, feeling too exposed. He could see that Nicholas was enjoying this, torturing him, making fun of him. He was already so sensitive, since he came not long ago. His dick was already fully hard and red, Nicholas’s big hands not being able to wrap around fully.
The older boy then stopped and got up, maintaining eye contact. Euijoo thought that Nicholas had enough, that he was satisfied with the teasing he did and would leave him here, wanting. But before he could protest, Nicholas grabbed his shoulders and sat on his lap. His legs folded on each side of Euijoo’s thighs, wrapping around him completely. He could feel his dick pressed against Nicholas, the fabric of his trousers slightly grazing him. That didn’t change the fact that the only thing he was concentrating on was his lips. Now that they were closer, it was the only thing he saw. Nicholas had big lips, plump too. He could see they were shiny which meant that Nicholas had applied lip balm before. He started licking his lips subconsciously and averted his gaze to Nicholas’s eyes.
“Please.” He felt powerless. Being this vulnerable in front of Nicholas was killing him. They were used to bickering and teasing each other, but normally Euijoo had the force to fight back. Right now he was completely at his mercy.
“Please what?” Nicholas was such a menace because he was the person who could read him best. He was the only one who could understand his needs and feelings without him having to express himself. But now he was just enjoying toying with him. The thing is that Euijoo had enough, if Nicholas wanted to be bratty, he could play by his rules for a bit if that meant getting what he wanted.
“Kiss me.”
As soon as the words left his lips, Nicholas wasted no time and treaded his hands into his hair, he brought his face closer to his, looking for a sign of discomfort in Euijoo’s eyes. The only thing he saw was pure desire, and that seemed to motivate him to kiss him. The kiss was needy. When Nicholas finally put his lips on his, he could finally feel that he had been wanting this as much as he did. He kissed him hungrily, biting his bottom lip while grinding his hips skillfully. Euijoo gasped at the feeling of the fabric brushing over his exposed cock, and Nicholas took advantage of the moment to slip his tongue into his mouth. He was kissing him furiously now, almost like he was angry, and Euijoo struggled to keep up with him. Everything was too much, feeling him this spurred on because of him was amazing.
He then pushed him lightly on the chest, resting his head against it as he tried to catch his breath, hating that he had stupid needs like breathing. He wished he could kiss Nicholas senseless for a living. The older boy backed away more, and Euijoo panicked, thinking that Nicholas had finally snapped out of it, but when he raised his head, the other boy was taking his shirt off. Sensing his panic, Nicholas quickly reassured him. “I’m not going anywhere, Juju. Just completing your demands.”
He smiled at him and threw his shirt onto the ground. Euijoo was frozen then, he had seen Nicho’s body so many times before, but right now everything was different. Nicholas’s chest was red, his torso rising and falling rapidly. He let his gaze wander over his toned body, shyly bringing his hands up to caress his abdomen and chest. The older boy seemed to enjoy the attention he was getting, bringing his hand back over Euijoo’s cock. He started stroking it again, more purposefully now, scrutinizing Euijoo’s expression, wanting to see his pleasure written all over his face. Euijoo was an easy man, open about his desires.
The younger boy gained courage and waited for Nicholas to give him permission before slipping his hand inside his joggers. He could feel his hardness, and that seemed to spur him further because he grabbed Nicholas’s dick from inside his boxers, freeing it. Nicholas was big, there was no denying it, but the girth was what surprised him the most.
The older boy noticed his reaction and seemed amused by it, deciding to speed up his hand just to make Euijoo collapse against him. As Euijoo rested his head on Nicholas’s shoulder, overwhelmed by his bruising pace, Nicholas touched his own cock too, his hand wrapping around Euijoo’s and bringing both their cocks together, stroking them. “You are so pretty, Euijoo.” It was Euijoo’s turn now to grab Nicholas by the head and kiss him hard, wanting to memorize it, not knowing if this was a one-time experience or if this meant more. He hoped for the latter, but for now he just wanted to feel Nicholas crumble because of him.
Nicholas’s pace quickened, and the feeling of their dicks rubbing together was addicting. Nicholas groaned into the kiss, struggling to keep kissing him properly while feeling so much. He detached his lips from his and rested their foreheads together.
“Tell me what you want. I promise I’ll give it to you.” He tried to sound as sincere as he could, his voice shaking and breaking as he felt himself getting close. Nicholas looked at him, a thousand emotions in his eyes, his voice wavering. “I want you to come with me. Come with me, baby.” His hand sped up then, and because Euijoo was sincere and meant every word, he did just that. Just as Euijoo reached his orgasm, Nicholas followed, moaning and kissing him immediately. He kept stroking them through it, their cum mixing over their bodies and spilling onto their trousers too. The calmness that washed over him was immediate. He felt satiated and he could not help but smile. They stayed like that for a bit, catching their breath, Euijoo’s forehead resting on Nicholas’s shoulder, feeling too shy to look at him.
Quickly though, panic set in. He finally realized the gravity of the situation: he had just jerked off with one of his bandmates. This could turn out so bad for them, especially since they see each other dayly. Euijoo didn’t know how he could cope with it. Now that he got Nicholas once, he would keep wanting him, his touch was really addictive. Nicholas, knowing him well, immediately sensed the change in his demeanor and grabbed him by the shoulders, searching for his attention.
“Euijoo, it’s okay.”. He gently rubbed his shoulders, trying to catch his eyes. He had a calming expression, seeming like he thought that what they did was completely normal. “No, it’s not. This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He shook his head, tears quickly forming in his eyes. He couldn’t believe he had succumbed to the temptation. His greedy ass had ruined everything. “Juju, you’re okay. I wanted this to happen.” The older boy then brought his hands higher, gently touching his cheeks and caressing them, he genuinely looked concerned.
That seemed to steady Euijoo a bit, maybe he was exaggerating as he always does. Nicholas was always there to guide him through it, being the only person who could canalize him when he spiralled. Holding eye contact, he asked softly, his voice trembling slightly, “You wanted this?”. Nicholas scoffed lightly, a slight smile forming on his lips. He quickly shook his head “Yes, dummy. So stop beating yourself up about it and let’s get cleaned up.”
Nicholas got up from his lap while still holding him gently, guiding him toward the bathroom.
Euijoo was still confused about the definition of their relationship now, but as Nicholas accompanied him to the bedroom, kissed him goodnight and spent the night embracing him; he thought that maybe things could slowly change between them.