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English
Series:
Part 6 of The "What to Do" Lothar/Khadgar Series
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Published:
2016-11-17
Words:
933
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
4
Kudos:
46
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571

What to do with a Pirate

Summary:

I have NO idea where this came from. Totally sillyfic (:

Work Text:

“You know, you’d make an awesome pirate.”

Lothar had learned over time to adapt to Khadgar’s dramatic switches of conversation, but that one made even him blink.  He paused in his work of assessing the state of his armour and stared, still hunched over, at Khadghar where he stood in the doorway.  “I’d make a what?”

“An awesome pirate.”  Khadgar was learning on the door frame, arms crossed over his chest, with the look of someone with way too much free time.  “The whole eye patch, swarthy bearded, floppy hat and bird on the shoulder thing would suit you.”

“Have you been drinking some of your own potions?  Y’now, the ones that have you talking nonsense?”

“Not recently.  See, tomorrow is Pirate Day.  People dress up as pirates and celebrate the day, hang around in taverns smashing full tankards together, walking the plank and saying aaargh a lot, stuff like that.”  He made an exaggerated toothy grin.  “I thought we could do that.  I could be a hapless ship’s innocent crewman and you could carry me off as booty.  I’d be your booty prize.”

“Booby prize you mean.”

“That’s cruel.  Quick but cruel.  Come on now, get in the spirit of the day.”  He winked, broadly.  “I’d let you do terribly piratish things to me.”

He straightened with a deep, theatrical sigh.  “I am generally willing to abide by the Guardian’s wishes with regard to world events, but in this case no.  I will not dress like a pirate.”  He raised one finger to forestall further begging.  “No.  I do have work to do here so unless you have serious matters to discuss…”

It was difficult to stand firm in the face of a forlorn Khadgar, but he managed it.  Shoulders slumped, sighing mournfully, his lover turned away from him.  “Rejected again.  I’ll get back to my …stuff… then.”  Muttering complaints, he slouched off.

 

Khadgar was woken suddenly the next morning by a hand over his eyes and the realisation that he was also gagged.  A deep, guttural voice whispered in his ear.  “Don’t you be making any of those magical moves, boyo, or its into the deep briney with you.”

He choked off a laugh and nodded rapidly. A cloth was wrapped over his eyes and he was lifted up out of bed and tossed over a broad shoulder.  He tried complimenting his kidnapper on technique but the gag didn’t allow for it, it just came out as gargles.  Not too long afterwards he heard the sound of ocean, smelled the salt air and the man carrying him jumped down into something that rocked.  He was deposited on the bottom of what he presumed was some sort of dingy, something was tied around his hands and ankles,  and then heard the sound of oars in the water.

The rowing went on for some time and he was starting to get uncomfortable hunched over, not to mention a bit seasick.  He was just about to really start complaining when the boat grounded on something soft and bobbed about as it was pulled up onto the sand.  He was dragged up and out and back over the shoulder, then deposited onto the ground.

When his blindfold was taken off he blinked up into the sudden wash of sunlight and then gaped behind his gag at the splendid sight before him.

Lothar did, indeed, make an excellent pirate. 

A wide-brimmed hat with a huge feather in the band was perched on his head and a big gold earing hung from his left hear.  His beard was braided into a tight plait and tied with a leather band, and a patch covered one eye. He wore a red shirt with huge sleeves under a leather thigh-length vest, belted at the waist with a tasselled sash and equipped with a big curved sword.  Dark brown loose pants were tucked into thigh high leather boots.  He also seemed to be wearing a wig, or he’d grown his hair overnight, because it hung down over his shoulders and had beads and cheap crystal gems wound into the braiding.

Lothar bent and pulled the gag off Khadgar’s head.  “So, me young prize, what should I be doin’ with ya.  You look like you might be worth a gold piece or two to somebody…for something.” He gave Khadgar his best leer.

Khadgar wriggled across the sand and up onto his knees, rubbing himself against the pirate’s leg.  “Oh Sir Pirate, I’m but a humble young mage, please have mercy on me!”

Lothar laughed and crouched down to stroke Khadgar’s head.  “You crazy man.  Was this what you had in mind?”

“Sigh.  Yes.  You look wonderful.”  He glanced around and saw that there were on the small island where the Lighthouse was built and, except for a few curious seagulls, appeared to be alone.  “Didn’t anyone actually ask you why you were carting me off tied up and blindfolded through the city?”

“The pair of Stormwind knights with me soothed any concerns.  It’s a wonder you didn’t hear them clanking along beside me.”  Lothar bent and untied the ropes around Khadgar’s arms and legs and sat back as Khadgar reached out to touch the earring.

“I like this.  You should make it permanent.”

“And it would be such a good look inside my helment.”  He grinned and sat cross-legged in front of Khadgar.  “Well, I’ve done the pirate thing, happy?”

“Oh yes.  But I haven’t been plundered and pillaged yet.  You aren’t a very thorough pirate.”  He grinned as Lothar slid towards him, twirling his moustache.

“Aaaargh, prepare to be boarded!”