Archive of Our Own

“Cut!” The director yells, heaving a loud sigh with a hand stroking his forehead in annoyance. Soonyoung stops mid-sentence, his hands falling to his sides as he looks at the director, equally as annoyed. This must be around their twentieth take, all receiving nothing but disappointed mumbles and sighs. All of the scenes have been hell to film, needing a lot more work and time than is usually necessary. And that for what is supposed to be the biggest drama of his career. As if the pressure isn’t already high enough, here comes the added burden of being insufficient. Not good enough. And it’s all because of one man.

Xu Minghao.

His co-star, and the absolute bane of his existence. The famous actor, who debuted when he was just 14 years old in a high-school drama, and was immediately recognized for his perfect Korean. Minghao had moved from China to Korea as a kid, and immediately made a name for himself as the cute, innocent foreigner who was still getting used to his new living space. But then as he got older, he took on more serious roles—the bad boy, the serious second lead, and now, the first lead in his first BL.

Soonyoung can’t deny his prior excitement to meet his senior, always having been impressed by his skills. He will deny his little crush on the younger for as long as eternity needs him to, because that’s nobody’s business but his own. Especially because when Soonyoung met the actor face-to-face after having watched him on TV-screens for countless years, he was met with an uninterested, almost peeved Minghao instead.

The actor, who had always seemed so kind and gentle, suddenly changed into an irritated caricature when Soonyoung offered him a hand with a bright smile. Minghao simply looked at it, looked back into the elder’s eyes, visibly exasperated, and left to his trailer with a sigh. Soonyoung was left alone in the parking lot—appalled.

It has been a few weeks since then, but Soonyoung still hasn’t found it in himself to forgive Minghao. Neither has Minghao found it in himself to greet Soonyoung with something more than an angry look, it seems. He has no idea why the younger hates him so much, he just knows that Minghao does. And there’s nothing he can do about it.

This is the biggest role of his career yet. For a rookie actor, it’s almost inconceivable that he landed it in the first place. But, as one of the few openly gay actors in South-Korea, it’s no wonder that the crew was interested in him. Even more so because his growing group of fans are waiting on the edges of their seats to watch every episode when it comes out. That is, if it ever does.

Because they’re at their twentieth take, Minghao and Soonyoung having to meet each other in a café, Soonyoung being the barista and Minghao being the unknowing cute customer, and he just can’t do it. He can’t look into Xu Minghao’s eyes and be anything but angry, disappointed and upset.

“Cut!” The director yells again, his frustration clearly piled up. He throws his copy of the script on the ground in anger, leaning his elbows on his thighs as he slumps forward. Soonyoung wants to cry—he doesn’t like doing bad. He doesn’t like leaving people disappointed. Especially now, when he is so close to his breakthrough.

When he looks to his right, Minghao seems unbothered, stoic. His expression is flat, and his eyes screaming a whole bunch of nothing. Soonyoung has caught himself thinking that maybe, he doesn’t have any emotions—only acting as if he does in his projects. A silly excuse to try to numb the pain of their first greeting. Anything to still see his co-star as a human being rather than the devil.

“I can’t do this,” the director says as he gets out of his folded chair and storms off to his waiting room. The entire crew, including Soonyoung’s manager Seungcheol, watches him leave in horror. It’s dead silent on set, nothing but their shared breaths being heard. It stays like that for what feels like hours—Soonyoung’s blood pumping in his ears, his breathing irregular, when Seungcheol takes him off set and calls in a short break.

Soonyoung is walking with him to his trailer, carefully sneaking a smile at the prospect of being able to wind down, eat something and get himself back up. But then Seungcheol checks his phone, pinches the small space between his eyebrows as he stops his pace.

“What is it, hyung?” Soonyoung asks, concerned over the other. He’s been going through so much because of him lately. It’s already hard enough to get job opportunities for an openly gay actor in a largely homophobic country, but it’s way harder when the person you manage keeps messing it up. Just one more burden for Soonyoung to carry.

“The director wants to meet with you and Minghao-ssi. He and his manager are on their way to him as we speak,” he explains. He looks the younger in the eye, guilt, pity and something like frustration playing in his irises, when he takes Soonyoung’s hand and drags him to their designated trailer. Not Soonyoung’s own—but his director’s, probably to get scolded or even worse, getting fired.

When they arrive to the trailer; smaller than Soonyoung’s, but loaded with the same amount of tasty snacks, Minghao is already sitting at the desk along with his manager Joshua. While Joshua’s face is full of absolute anxiety—eyes wide and nervous, biting his nails in fear—Minghao’s is completely relaxed. He doesn’t seem affected whatsoever at the chance of his biggest role getting taken away from him.

Another reason why Soonyoung has slowly grown to hate him. Minghao has had so many roles, so many opportunities, that this one is just another one added onto the pile. Whether he finishes the job or not is not his concern, he can star in something else on a dime. Minghao, while facing many struggles as a foreign actor, doesn’t have the same struggles as Soonyoung. He doesn’t know what it’s like.

Seungcheol finally lets go of his hand as he sits the younger down, faced with an angry-looking director. His eyes are casting thunder, almost, steam blowing out of his ears. Soonyoung has never seen him so angry before, though he’s had plenty of chances. This is not the first scene he and Minghao have messed up, far from. Actually, he’s not sure why the director didn’t call this meeting sooner.

Said director sighs loudly as he falls back into his chair, fisting his hands in his hair in frustration, pulling the strands. He wills himself to calm down as he tries to slow down his breathing and lets his hands drape over his face. They end at his mouth, when he leans forward and leans his elbows on the desk. Soonyoung, Seungcheol and Joshua just stare as they bite their lips in nervousness—and Minghao stares with an unimpressed look as he sits in his chair, relaxed pose.

“This is a big problem,” the director says, not wasting any time. “You guys have been messing up every scene you appear in together. In all the weeks we’ve been filming, there has been no useful content. None.”

Soonyoung already knew that his director was going to be angry, but to hear it so bluntly still makes his heart ache. He knows he’s been messing up, and he hates it. He wishes he could see Minghao in any other way than just, bad.

“What are we going to do about this?” The director then asks, and the actor nearly feels how Joshua and Seungcheol lean forward in shock. Because how haven’t they been fired yet?

“W-well,” Seungcheol begins, “we can figure out where the problem lies. Just give us some more time, and we will fix it, I promise—”

“We don’t have much time, Seungcheol-ssi,” the director retorts in annoyance. “If you promise to fix it, then you need to fix it now. I won’t wait any longer for your actor to start doing his job.”

He knows it to be all in his imagination, but Soonyoung physically feels a stab in his heart. His first big opportunity, and he can’t even do it properly. He’s messing it all up.

“We’ll make it work, sir,” Joshua says from the seat next to him. He seems as mentally exhausted as Seungcheol is, and Soonyoung feels bad for him. Especially with such a heartless Minghao in the furthest seat, stoic expression still on his face.

“Do it quick. If we can’t get a proper scene out by tomorrow, I have a line of eager actors waiting to take your spot.” The director’s answer makes it all even more real. Soonyoung needs to do something, and quick.

The four leave the trailer in silence, the tension so thick it’s able to be cut with a butterknife. It makes the atmosphere around them uncomfortable, like he’s breathing in small pieces of glass cutting at his throat. But then he hears Minghao sigh from a few steps behind them, and he stops to look back at him.

His ever-so stoic stare has turned into one of concern, eyes downcast onto the asphalt ground of the same parking lot he and Soonyoung first met. He seems to be pondering on something, before he looks the other actor right in his eyes and says, “We have to talk. One-on-one.”

It shocks Soonyoung to finally be addressed by his co-star outside of set. He visibly shudders, looks at Seungcheol who looks back with a concerned eye, before nodding in agreement. Whatever Minghao wants to talk about, whatever he wants to tell him, he has to give him a chance. If he doesn’t, he’ll be just as bad as the younger.

So, Seungcheol and Joshua get left behind on the parking lot to go for a break, and he and Minghao walk to the younger’s trailer, Minghao taking the lead. Soonyoung paces after him hesitantly, hands laced together as he plays with his fingers, a nervous habit. He doesn’t know what the other wants to talk to him about—maybe he’s planning to yell at him. Maybe he wants to kick him while he’s down, tell him that he needs to get his shit together before they both lose their job. Like he isn’t also partly to blame for this. But, he’s the senior, and that means he’s always right. No matter how much Soonyoung disagrees.

They enter the trailer, Minghao opening the door for him as he gets in. The younger’s trailer looks the exact same as his, save for the interior. Minghao’s trailer is furnished with a minimalistic touch—a red couch, a large carpet, adorned by a big table made especially for serving traditional tea. It’s calming, way more calming than Soonyoung’s trailer, that looks like a fairy threw up in it compared to this place.

“You can sit down,” Minghao says as he gestures towards the couch, which Soonyoung sits on without hesitation. He doesn’t think he has the mental capability to be scolded while also standing up. He needs a foothold for when Minghao ultimately chooses to stamp on his heart and leave it broken, shattered on the fancy carpet.

However, Minghao looks eerily calm and collected as he sits cross-legged on said carpet, right in front of Soonyoung. The elder is now looking up at him, something he usually doesn’t have to do because besides Minghao’s out-of-this-world good looks, he’s also really tall. It’s quite unfair, really.

“I don’t know how to start this,” Minghao starts bashfully as he stares at his hands, folded in his lap. Soonyoung has never seen him so cautious before. He’s usually to type to say exactly what he wants with no care for the other person’s feelings.

“What the director wants is more… chemistry between us, correct?” He asks judiciously, and Soonyoung nods slowly, not sure where he’s going with this. “I have a plan to give him the chemistry is looking for, but I need you to agree.”

At this point, Soonyoung would agree with anything. Whatever it takes to make his first lead role a successful one.

Minghao seems to mull the plan over in his head again and again, the silence deafening as Soonyoung waits in anticipation. His eyes are stuck on Minghao’s face—the other biting his lips with eyes rapidly moving around the room. It’s almost as if all the anxiety that Soonyoung felt just now in front of the director, has moved onto Minghao.

But the younger heaves one final sigh as he closes his eyes, before opening them again and looking up, straight at the elder.

“I think we should have sex.”

What.

He just stares down at the younger, his eyes as wide as saucers as he processes the words over and over. Him and Minghao, sex. Him. Minghao. Sex.

“It—It’s said that having sex improves relationships and, you know, we’ve been off to a rough start—” Minghao sputters.

It’s the first time he’s seen Minghao so diffident. He almost feels sorry for him, or more so endeared. “Where did you get this from?” He asks in response, anyway.

“A YouTube channel said it.”

He can’t help but let out a scoff. “What type of shit do you watch?”

Minghao looks up at him with furious eyes, clearly feeling wronged. “Do you think you’re the only one worrying about this? I also want this drama to turn out well, you know!” He yells in an angry tone, leaving Soonyoung speechless.

Minghao also worries. He also wants the best for this drama. He’s doesn’t see this as just another role.

The elder didn’t expect it to bother Minghao so much. So much to the point that he broke his ever-seeming calm façade. He just yelled at Soonyoung instead of giving him a dirty look because he, as well as the other, wants this to be a success. And because of that, he can’t do anything but say,

“Okay.”

The younger’s angered eyes fade, replaced with ones of confusion. “What?”

“I’ll do it,” Soonyoung clarifies. “Have… sex, with you.”

𓂃۶ৎ

Obviously, he doesn’t tell Seungcheol about his and Minghao’s little plan. If it’s worth even being called that. Plan, meeting, dick appointment, whichever fits best. He just tells Seungcheol that their conversation went well, that they have resolved things and will try harder this time. With such means as getting in the bed together, what gives.

He and Minghao arrange a meeting at Minghao’s apartment after their conversation, almost professionally so. That very same night, 9PM, Soonyoung pulls up to Minghao’s apartment as promised.

The younger’s apartment is huge—fancy building with an expensive-looking exterior, big parking lot with sports cars, bodyguards at the entrance. Nothing like Soonyoung’s apartment which he had to fight tooth and nail to rent in the first place. He tells the way too big and way too muscular bodyguard about his visit and gets let into the building, sent to the highest floor where Minghao resides.

When he rings the bell, it gets answered quickly enough by a disheveled Minghao, who looks at him with chagrin as he steps aside to let the other in. Soonyoung steps inside tentatively, looking around the blackwood interior, impressed by all the little trinkets the younger seems to store around his rooms. They’re all neatly put up, not one speck of dust on them. They all must be extremely expensive, if Minghao takes such good care of them.

He doesn’t get to look around for long though, because the younger calls him after just a few seconds of silence.

“Soonyoung,” he calls, no sign of formalities. Before the elder can sputter a response though, tell him he’s out of line, he continues. “You don’t have to look around. I don’t have much time.”

How chivalrous. Soonyoung’s past dick appointments have never gone like this—this formal and business-like. He rolls his eyes as he casts them away from Minghao’s many trinkets and towards their owner instead.

For all it’s worth, Minghao does truly look like he doesn’t have the time. He’s in his bathrobe, freshly showered and seemingly ready for bed, hair a mess and face bare. If Soonyoung were to be honest with himself, he’d say the younger looks really good like this. He’s never seen him without make-up, dressed in anything other than luxury brands, sprinkled with diamonds and gold.

Soonyoung wonders if this is what differentiates Minghao from Seo Myungho—the person behind the actor. The real him. But he doesn’t want to fret over it for too long, not give it any more thought than necessary. So he follows the other into his bedroom after he’s taken off his shoes and coat, and sits down on the small couch in front of the king-sized bed in the middle.

As with everything in this apartment, Minghao’s bedroom is big. Luxurious. Something Soonyoung would never be able to afford. It’s nearly suffocating how envious he feels by seeing the younger’s successes, emanating in every part of his being. His residence, his resume, his aura—all of it screams dominance. And it makes Soonyoung feel infinitely inferior.

Maybe that’s why his first meeting with Minghao hurt so much. Maybe, in a way, he had wanted to impress the other actor, and got embarrassed when it didn’t work out in his favor. Perhaps it was all his own shortcomings coming together and formed into a mess of hatred toward the younger.

Shit. He really needs to stop fretting over all of this.

Minghao is already standing in front of him, looking at him in discomfiture, arms weighing on his sides. He coughs to hide the tension in the room, looks to his right. Back to Soonyoung, eyes trying to stay calm. A perfect image of imperturbability.

“So,” he starts after a long while of silence. “how do you want to do this?”

The question shocks Soonyoung. “Weren’t you the one who came up with the whole plan?” He asks, his tone coming out with more hostility than he had intended. But, Minghao is the one who planned all of this.

Said Minghao rolls his eyes, a bit of the animosity he has always held toward the elder coming back. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. You’re not doing this just because I asked you to, are you?”

Soonyoung ponders the question for a little while. Is he? Is he doing this just because Minghao requested it? But, no. He’s doing this for the sake of the drama, to give them both a chance at redemption. And also, maybe because Minghao is a little hot. Or attractive. Or whatever. Just, not only for Minghao. That’s it.

So he says a simple, “No,” to the delight of Minghao, who heaves a relieved sigh. Brushes a hand through his head of thick hair, coming down to his neck at the nape.

“Good,” he replies curtly. He beckons toward the bed. “Then, come here. Get yourself comfortable.”

Soonyoung nods as he walks toward the huge bed, staring at Minghao in a silent request before sitting on it, amazed by the softness of the mattress. He bounces a bit as he drops on, leaning on the palms of his hands to keep balance, and looks up to find Minghao above him, his eyes shining with something like authority.

He feels scrutinized under such an intense gaze. Inferior.

“I apologize for asking outright, but,” Minghao sighs, “what… position, do you usually take?”

Soonyoung would have to hold back his laughter from hearing such a question being uttered in such a professional tone, if only he wasn’t jittering with nerves. “I-I usually bottom,” he stutters, cheeks shining red from embarrassment.

Minghao’s authoritative demeanor seems to dissipate for an instant, shoulders slumped and leaning forward, sighing from relief. Something close to a smile on his face. A short grimace. “That’s a relief,” he explains, “I was scared I was gonna have to bottom for a second.”

Soonyoung looks up at him. “You usually don’t?” It doesn’t surprise him, really. As he said, everything about Xu Minghao screams dominance. There’s no way a man like him would ever bend over for somebody. That, and the fact he doesn’t really have the ass for it.

Minghao shakes his head at Soonyoung’s earlier question. “Never have,” he informs and leaves it at that. Looks around a little awkwardly, like he’s expecting something. Reaches for his bathrobe’s sash and unties it. Soonyoung’s eyes go wide.

Minghao strips himself without any hesitance, perfectly poised. He wasn’t wearing anything under his bathrobe to begin with, much to Soonyoung’s surprise. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised, but he is anyway. Especially when he looks down and realizes Minghao is big. Bigger than anyone he’s ever had before. He can’t stop looking.

“Like what you see?” Minghao asks smugly, smirk clear on his face. Soonyoung finally breaks his gaze away from the younger’s cock to shoot him an exasperated stare, clicking his tongue in annoyance. He hates how overconfident the other is.

“Don’t get on your high horse yet,” he retorts, standing up to strip himself of his own clothes. Minghao just laughs in response, going to sit on the bed and pulling himself back until his back reaches the headboard. He’s simply watching Soonyoung take off his clothes with a gaze that radiates disinterest, like he cannot wait to get this over with. Like this is nothing but a hindrance to him.

Soonyoung is overwhelmed with an uncomfortable need to impress the younger actor. If he can’t do it with his acting, then he must be able to do it with this. He’s had bedpartners before, more than he can count, and he knows he’s good in bed. And he knows he needs to pull out all the stops to be able to see Minghao validate him, for once.

So, no matter how nervous he feels, he takes off his clothes quickly and gets on the bed in front of Minghao, trying to look as confident as he can. His chest swells up the tiniest bit when he sees the other checking him out, eyes tracing his body and sticking just a tad bit longer on his length.

“Did you prep yourself?” The younger asks then, and Soonyoung nods in what he hopes is confidence. Minghao simply nods and sits up a bit, gesturing for the elder to get on all fours.

Soonyoung didn’t expect for them to do this in any other position, really. Anything too intimate would make this whole plan weirder than what it already is. They need to keep it as professional as possible, don’t get too close. It will simply make it more awkward.

He leans forward onto his elbows, trying not to shiver when he feels Minghao spread his cheeks and massages a finger onto his hole just to check if he really did prep himself. Then, without a word, he pushes two slicked fingers in, eliciting a shocked moan out of the elder. When did he even get the lube?

“Couldn’t you have, warned me?” He whimpers, head already dropping down in pleasure as Minghao fingers him open.

“I have a feeling you can handle it,” he hears the teasing voice from behind him say. He wants to slap the younger for even daring to tease him right now, but he can’t seem to do anything but try to meet Minghao’s fingers as he bounces back on them. The younger’s fingers are so long and thick, way thicker than his own. He should’ve known it would feel so much better than his own.

But then he feels a hand on the small of his back, stopping him from moving. No matter how hard he tries, he has to do with what he’s given, he can’t move. It makes him let out a low groan in frustration.

Minghao clicks his tongue. “Keep still,” he commands, voice an octave lower than it was mere moments before. Soonyoung feels his cock twitch. He hears a satisfied hum from where Minghao is killing him.

A third finger enters him, his breath getting pushed out of his lungs. It stings a bit, but it makes it feel so much better, so he takes the pain and embraces it. He’s already a moaning, blabbering mess, his brain only providing him with more and please. Minghao doesn’t listen to him, keeps his own pace going. Soonyoung guesses he will have to do with it for now.

He tries to reach down for his own cock, but his hand is being slapped away by the younger every time he tries. He feels precum coming out from the slit and dropping onto the mattress, making a mess of Minghao’s luxurious bedsheets. Thankfully the other doesn’t seem to notice, or at least doesn’t say anything about it.

Instead, Minghao keeps fucking him with three thick, long fingers, soon even adding a fourth, making the elder whimper and moan loudly in a mix of pain and pleasure. His fingers are desperately gripping onto the bedsheets, his dick twitching from lack of touch. It’s too much, and yet not enough. All of his senses are on fire, his body sheening with sweat. He has never come untouched, but he’s sure if Minghao continues finger fucking him like this, he will.

That is, until the fingers leave his hole, leaving him empty and confused.

“W-what?” He asks into the void, getting no answer from Minghao as expected. He hears some rummaging in drawers and the cap of the lube being opened and closed, when he feels the other’s cock line up to his entrance. It makes him moan again instantly, already knowing that, despite him being prepped with four fingers instead of the two he usually gets, the stretch will be mind-numbing.

He wasn’t wrong. As Minghao slowly enters him, way slower than Soonyoung had expected, uncharacteristically considerate of Soonyoung’s feelings, he loses all thought. The only thing he can think of is how amazing the stinging feels, and how deep Minghao truly reaches. His eyes are scrunched in pure bliss, hands gripping somewhere he can’t feel. He thinks it’s a pillow, he’s not quite sure.

As Minghao bottoms out, Soonyoung takes a few short breaths to get adjusted to the stretch and gives the other the go as soon as he is. Minghao wastes no time—immediately finding a quick pace which has Soonyoung moaning and whining loudly, like he has no idea just how loud he is being.

He has no clue what Minghao looks like right now, all he can see are the pillows and the headboard of his bed. Is he also enjoying this? Does he feel as good as Soonyoung does? Or is he ever so stoic, unmoving? Soonyoung really wishes he could watch the expression on the younger’s face.

He must know how good Soonyoung feels, judging by his loud moans and the amount of precum still dripping onto the sheets. It creates a wet spot onto the linen, darkening it ever so slightly. As embarrassing as it is, he’s already close. He tries to tell Minghao as much, but all that comes out are pathetic loud moans, his brain giving up on any other words.

He hears something like an annoyed sigh behind him, unable to hear it properly with his mind being stuffed with cotton. Before he knows it, his head is getting pushed into the soft pillows—not hard enough to hurt him, but effective enough to make his moans less loud.

And for whatever reason, for whatever fucked-up reason, it makes Soonyoung moan even louder. Not that the other can hear him now, thankfully. He doesn’t know why a man handling him with such disinterest, such annoyance turns him on as much as it does. Doesn’t think about it too hard.

“Just be quiet for two goddamn minutes,” Minghao spits, and if Soonyoung wasn’t so distracted by the venom in his tone, he could hear a hint of arousal behind it.

But he can’t, because he’s busy focusing on his orgasm overtaking him. He comes untouched all over the sheets, for the first time in his life. It takes him by surprise—fisting the pillows his head is being pushed into. He clenches involuntarily, Minghao groaning from behind him.

He doesn’t make a move to pull out. Just keeps going with his unrelenting thrusts, not slowing down one bit. It makes Soonyoung sigh in blissful pleasure all the more, high on the feeling of overstimulation. He can’t help but feel like a doll, simply used for Minghao’s pleasure, and he doesn’t know why that makes it all the better for him. The exhilarating feeling of humiliation.

Minghao keeps thrusting into him without any sign of stopping, the sound of skin against skin and Soonyoung’s muffled moans the only thing resonating through the room. It’s the absolute opposite of intimate—not any sign of love or even like, but maybe that’s what makes it so addicting. Maybe that’s why Soonyoung feels his second orgasm coming on, right as Minghao’s knees start to stutter.

Soonyoung feels Minghao leave him so suddenly, an aching emptiness left behind. He reaches for his own cock again, finally able to touch himself after what feels like hours, not being stopped by the younger this time. He strokes himself until he spills all into his hand, right when Minghao spurts over his back, a soft groan accompanied with it.

Both actors come down from their orgasm, no words uttered besides their heavy breathing. Soonyoung gets his head up from the pillows, seeing the traces of his drool and pleasured tears on the pillowcase.

He feels spurts of cum drip down from his back to the plump of his ass. “Did you really have to come on my back?” He asks, trying to sound annoyed but it not really working with his voice as rough as it is from all the moaning.

Minghao is already standing up, tying the condom and throwing it into the bin next to his drawers. He doesn’t even sound affected as he says, “Didn’t want to mess up my freshly washed sheets.”

Soonyoung looks down onto said sheets, where his precum and white spurts of cum are gathered into a mix of filth. “Uhm,” he mutters, “about that…”

Minghao follows his line of vision. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

𓂃۶ৎ

“And cut!” The director yells into his megaphone, dropping it with a bright smile on his face—all teeth and gums. His shoulders that had been tense for what seemed to be forever, finally have slumped down, and Soonyoung couldn’t be more relieved.

He takes a few steps back from Minghao, who’s standing right in front of him, getting off the high of a successful scene. After so much struggling with getting their lines out naturally, acting like they can actually stand each other, it finally worked. Soonyoung can’t believe it, but Minghao’s plan seems to have worked.

He doesn’t know exactly why. He deems it to be the fact that he’s seen all of Minghao now, at least physically. Or maybe, knowing that the younger is as invested in this role as he is, he’s gained some sort of respect for him. Maybe it’s just a silly coincidence, and they’ll inevitably go back to messing up their scenes soon enough.

Or maybe, very much maybe, it’s because he hasn’t been able to stop thinking of their night together two days ago.

Whenever he sees Minghao now, all he can think back on is his head in the pillows, getting pounded into by the younger, treating him but nothing like a ragdoll, ready to be thrown away…

It’s great for their scenes together, makes it all the more easy to look at the other like the secrets of the universe shine brightly in his eyes. It makes it a little harder to focus, though, especially on his manager’s words.

“What happened between you and Minghao?” Seungcheol asks him for what’s probably the second time, judging by his expression. They’re at the back of the set, taking a little break before the next shooting starts, drinking water and eating some snacks. Soonyoung swallows his gulp of water before speaking.

“We just… talked,” he lies. What else is he supposed to say? We fucked in the least romantic way known to man and yet, I think it’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life? How pathetic would Seungcheol deem him to be?

“Talked,” said Seungcheol replies, flabbergasted. “You simply talked? This whole thing could’ve been resolved if you guys just… talked?” His voice is increasingly getting higher, and he seems frustrated by the whole thing. Understandably so. If only he knew the actual truth.

Soonyoung merely shrugs his shoulders, giving nothing away. “Yeah.” He takes another gulp of water. Swallows it as he tries to ignore the elder’s protruding, angry stare.

His hyung rubs his forehead and pinches his eyes closed. Sighs. “Well, I’m happy you resolved it. Now we can actually get somewhere.”

The younger nods with pursed lips. He is really glad that above all, they can finally film together without the tension being so thick. He looks back at Seungcheol to find him looking to the other side of the room, where Minghao is sitting and talking with his manager Joshua. They’re also eating some snacks and relaxing, Minghao on his phone with Joshua talking to him about this and that.

Soonyoung looks back-and-forth between his manager and Minghao’s, trying to make sense of why Seungcheol’s eyes seem to linger on Joshua’s neck. Maybe he’s seeing it wrong, but it does really seem like his neck.

“You got the hots for Myungho’s manager?” He asks outright, a confused yelp escaping him when Seungcheol shushes him and slaps a hand over his mouth.

“Shush!” The elder spits. The blush on his cheeks his furious, spreading all the way to his ears. He looks back to Joshua, heaves a sigh of relief when he notices the other pair is not looking at them. Drops his hand from Soonyoung’s mouth.

“You really got the hots for him,” Soonyoung deducts with a bright smile. He’s not sure why it surprises him. Joshua is a hot guy—all biceps and pecs and tan skin. That, paired with a kind smile and soft voice, he can’t blame Seungcheol for taking a liking to him.

“Don’t say anything,” his manager begs. Soonyoung immediately shakes his head, zipping his lips and mimicking a key being thrown away onto the ground. The elder’s secret is safe with him.

The director gets back on set and claps his hands. “Alright, let’s go!” He calls as he sits down on his chair, and Soonyoung steps back onto set immediately. When he’s next to Minghao again, he feels heat radiating off of his body. He doesn’t know if he’s imagining it. It feels like the heat from when they…

Nevermind.

“So, you guys just met properly for the first time,” the director explains from his chair, going through the scene before they start. “Soonyoung-ssi, you are handing Minghao-ssi his coffee, and your hands graze each other’s lightly.” He motions with his hands, completely lost in the moment, eyes looking up as if he’s imagining it. “Then, you look into each other’s eyes, sparks flying. Cut.”

Soonyoung stares at the director in awe, imagining the exact scene alongside him, while Minghao stares at the two with a confused stare. His face screams something light of disgust, making Soonyoung gather himself with a cough and get back to his original position.

“Grump,” he mutters under his breath when he goes to stand behind the counter. He grabs a cup with no real coffee in it, puts it on the counter Minghao is standing in front of.

“Ready, set, action!” One of the staff hits the slate, and the boys start the scene.

Minghao orders a drink from in front of the counter, which Soonyoung puts into the system. As Minghao pays for the drink, he pretends to prepare the coffee, coming back a few seconds later and handing it to him. As he does, their fingers touch ever so slightly.

And, it’s supposed to be pretend. It is pretend. Then why does Soonyoung feel electricity in all of his nerves? Why does he feel actual warmth radiating from the cup of fake coffee?

He looks up into Minghao’s eyes just like the director instructed him to, finding the younger already looking at him with a stare he can’t quite decipher. It’s supposed to be sparks flying, the director had said. He guesses that’s what it is.

He himself doesn’t have to do much to stare back at him with that same spark. Minghao’s eyes are so bright, so lively—so much different than what he imagined them to be. He’d never truly looked at him before now, not even when they had sex. He’s glad he didn’t. It’s almost too much.

“Cut!” The director yells in excitement, clapping in joy because this is their first take, and it immediately is a successful one.

Soonyoung puts the cup down, trying to get his head together. Trying to breathe normally. Trying to think of anything but their night together.

𓂃۶ৎ

“I need to tell you something,” Soonyoung tells his friend Junhui as the other is shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth, looking up at him in question. There’s a rice grain on his lips that Soonyoung removes for him, putting it into his mouth instead.

“I… I may have done something.”

Junhui swallows his spoonful, followed by a sip of cola. “You always do. What is it this time?”

Soonyoung takes a deep breath. He’s sure Junhui, out of his circle of friends, is the person who would understand him most. The elder is used to Soonyoung’s weird plans, comes up with them himself most of the time. His brain is a deep pit of creativity and insanity, so what Soonyoung and Minghao did a few nights ago must not seem that weird, right?

“I may have had sex with my co-worker,” he spills, and as expected, the other doesn’t even look up at him. Simply grabs a piece of meat from the grill plate in the middle of them.

“Good for you,” Junhui tells him with genuine happiness in his voice. “What’s so special about that?”

Soonyoung can’t believe that he has to spell it out like this. He rolls his eyes. “It wasn’t a romantic thing, Jun, not even a horny one! We did it for… for the sake of the job.”

That makes the other finally look up from his lashes, eyebrows pinched together. “Well, bit of a weird reason to have sex with someone, but sure. And?”

“What do you mean, and?”

“And, was it good? That’s the reason you’re telling me, isn’t it?”

He hates how well Junhui knows him. How their Gemini minds can always read each other. “I think it was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

The elder nods his head with pursed lips, thoroughly impressed. “If you say that, it must have been God himself.” He takes a sip of his water.

“Actually, it was Seo Myungho.”

Soonyoung protects his face with his hands when Junhui spits the water out of his mouth. “Xu Minghao?” He asks incredulously.

The younger grabs a napkin, wipes his dirty hands. “Yeah, I told you we’re filming a drama together.”

“Yes, but I didn’t expect him to fuck you,” the other replies in amazement. “Xu Minghao fucks men, too. Small world.”

“I hope you know you’ve dug a huge grave for yourself by having sex with him,” he adds on as he takes another sip of water. Soonyoung waits for him to swallow it before he asks,

“Why?”

“Didn’t you see the video?” Junhui asks back, sighing when Soonyoung shakes his head in a no. “Some doctor did hand reading on him, called him a Sex God, Soonyoung. A sex god!”

“What kind of shit do you watch?”

The elder waves him off with a roll of his eyes. “Doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’ve been complaining about your boring sex life, and now you fuck one of the most famous actors who also happens to be labeled a sex god.”

Ah. Soonyoung can see how that could create a problem.

“Are you gonna fuck him again?” Junhui asks then, way too loud in a full restaurant. Soonyoung doesn’t really care about the weird stares they receive from other customers.

“I can’t, Junnie. Myungho hates me, and I despise him. Our teamwork has already gotten better, so what’s the point?”

“Your teamwork can always improve, still, if you know what I mean.”

The actor looks up at his friend with a flat stare, is met with such cute giggles from the other that he can’t even be mad.

“They always say to not mix work with pleasure,” Soonyoung mutters, more so to himself than the other. “If I focus, think about anything else than that night, it should be fine. It’s gonna be fine.”

𓂃۶ৎ

It’s not fine. All that Soonyoung can focus on are Minghao’s thick lips as they film scene after scene. It’s infuriating how kissable they seem, especially because they haven’t reached any of those kinds of scenes yet. How long will he have to wait before he gets to connect them with his own?

He shakes his head to get himself out of that train of thought. Because, while Minghao might be one of the most attractive people he knows, he’s still the same moody, chagrin of a man he’s always been. Even as he’s in front of him right now, looking all sorts of gorgeous, he’s not affected. Totally not affected. Not even by his plump, slightly glossy from lipbalm, beautiful lips.

“Soonyoung-ssi! Do you need a break?” The director asks him with a tone that’s like a mix between harsh and genuinely concerned. The actor looks up at him, suddenly getting back to the real world and getting out of whatever trance he was in. He’s on set, Minghao in front of him, sitting all relaxed in a chair. He doesn’t seem to care at all about Soonyoung spacing out—like he could faint right here, right now, and he wouldn’t even spare him a glance.

He doesn’t know why his messed up mind makes that thought travel south.

“Yes, please,” he answers the question, and he notices his own voice being squeaky. What the fuck is happening to him?

He moves to the back, to a closed-off space in the middle of the set. There are curtains around him, blocking him from sight, but he can still be heard, and anyone could walk in on him. He doesn’t know why this was the first escape route he thought of.

He sits down on the lone chair anyway, breathing slowly to calm himself down. Closing his eyes, he suddenly hears the curtains open before he opens them again. When he does, he sees Minghao’s broad back, closing the curtain back up. His eyes widen in shock.

“What are you doing?” He asks when the younger turns around to him.

“What’s wrong with you?” The other asks back, the venom clear in his voice, just like that one night.

Soonyoung will choose to call it a Pavlovian response, nothing else. No other reason why that exact tone, why the younger’s disinterest and uncaring attitude, makes him feel so hot. Makes him feel tight in his pants.

“N-nothing,” he responds, because feeling horny is not a good answer to such a question. He tries to hide his bulge with his hands, but this only makes it all the more obvious to the younger.

Minghao stares at his hands with a flat stare, then looks back up into Soonyoung’s eyes. “Remove your hands,” he instructs.

“It’s nothing, really—”

“Remove, your hands,” the younger repeats, and Soonyoung knows there’s no arguing with him. So he just looks down, anywhere where he can’t meet Minghao’s eyes, and does as he says.

He’s already half hard by now, nothing being hidden by the restriction of his jeans. It’s embarrassing and humiliating—which makes it so much worse. So much better.

And he still doesn’t look at Minghao, but he hears him sighing from above him either way. That makes him brave enough to finally look at the other’s features. The younger is rolling his eyes, more annoyed than anything. This is bothersome to him, Soonyoung knows it. He’s only irritating the other again.

But then, Minghao moves his hands to Soonyoung’s zippers, looking at him through his lashes in question. Before he even knows what he’s doing, Soonyoung nods slowly, giving the younger the permission to open up his zipper and releasing him from the constrictions of his underwear as he pulls them down just enough.

Minghao holds his hand up, palm flat. It’s right next to Soonyoung’s face. The elder stares at it, then back at the younger, and then back at his hand in a confused stare. He has no idea what’s happening right now.

Minghao simply shakes his hand slightly with an even more annoyed look, clearly gesturing for something. Soonyoung just doesn’t know what. Or…

Is Minghao asking him to spit into his hand?

He doesn’t know what else to make of this. He’s hard, and Minghao is right there, and he’s presenting his hand right next to the elder’s face. What the fuck else is this supposed to mean?

When he comes a little bit closer to the presented hand, Minghao doesn’t back down. Only encourages him further. He sees no other option but spit into it, all while looking up into the other’s eyes. They have darkened significantly—his lips slightly parted. Soonyoung is looking at them in awe, hears a little gasp coming from them.

He forcefully has to close his eyes when the younger finally takes him in his now wet hand, slowly stroking him to full hardness. He’s a moaning mess already—as he always is, but even more so when it’s Minghao doing things to him.

He suddenly understands why Junhui watched that weird video of the hand reading where Minghao got dubbed a Sex God. The younger’s fingers are long, slim; perfect to give sloppy handjobs in the middle of set with only some curtains separating them from the rest of the staff.

He’s squirming in his seat, trying to stay still and quiet as Minghao pumps him with a faster pace now, but it’s difficult. He keeps trying to meet the younger’s hand, his hips moving on their own accord. This only annoys Minghao further, giving the other a glare in anger. Soonyoung so desperately wants to make him proud. Happy. Anything. Anything to remove that nasty frown off his face.

But as much as he tries, he can’t seem to shut his mouth properly. He’s still moaning and groaning, way too loud for the setting they’re in. Anyone could hear them at any moment, and Soonyoung wonders idly—what if anyone sees them? What if Seungcheol catches the two of them here, doing something so inappropriate in such a public space? Or Joshua, or the other staff, or their director—

He doesn’t know what kind of monster Minghao has unleashed in him, but he only moans louder from that idea.

Said Minghao’s glare only increases, shooting daggers at the elder with his eyes. He hisses, “Stop being so fucking, loud,” as he slaps his hand in front of Soonyoung’s mouth, effectively shutting him up once again. Just like when his head got pushed into the pillows.

The elder feels the vibrations of his moans in the other’s skin. He looks up into Minghao’s eyes, unsurprised when he doesn’t look back at him. He’s looking around, not in fear of getting caught, but in something like exasperation. After all, this is all a chore to him. A hinderance in what was supposed to be a relaxing break. Then why did he offer to do it?

With the hand covering his mouth, and the admittedly sinful fantasies of being caught, it doesn’t take long for Soonyoung to feel his orgasm coming on. He tries to tell Minghao as such, but he can’t as he’s being restricted from making any noise. The younger must understand the message anyway, because he looks at him for the slightest second before he nods. A small gesture that’s supposed to say, go on.

With that encouragement, he spills into Minghao’s fist, spurts of white cum dirtying his pretty fingers. He closes his eyes in bliss, not caring about how loud he is because he knows it’ll come out muffled anyway.

He comes down from his high with his eyes slightly parted, watching as Minghao finally looks at him with anything other than frustration. His expression is perfectly neutral—not in any way affected by what just happened. Soonyoung dares a glance to the other’s pants and, nothing. He’s completely unbothered. As he looks back up, he notices Minghao looking at the hand on Soonyoung’s mouth.

Before the elder can register what’s happening, Minghao moves forward, leaving a sweet kiss on the back of his own hand. And though he can’t feel it physically, he purses his lips and gives a kiss back on the palm of the same hand, it being the only thing separating their lips.

It lasts way too short. The hand is gone from his mouth before he can think twice about it. The only thing he can think about is Minghao looking at him, eyes bright, small smile on the lips that just nearly kissed his. And he seems satisfied. Proud.

Soonyoung made him proud.

“Feel better?” Minghao then asks softly, way softer than he’s ever spoken to the elder before.

He cannot do anything but nod dumbly. He truly does feel better, more relaxed. Less on edge. Minghao helped him kindly, without him ever needing to.

The other actor nods back, grabbing a tissue from a nearby table in the small tent, and cleans his hand off any leftover of what just occurred. He throws it in the bin, waits for Soonyoung to get dressed again, and leaves with a soft, content smile on his face.

The older actor is left stunned in the confined space of the tent, wondering: What the fuck just happened?

𓂃۶ৎ

It’s been a few days since whatever fuck just happened, happened. Soonyoung and Minghao have been doing fine, however one defines fine, during their scenes. If Soonyoung notices that he’s been staring at Minghao’s lips way longer than before, and way longer than necessary, that’s nobody’s business but his own.

Since the team have actually managed to shoot quite a few scenes after so long, they have decided to take a few days off work. Seungcheol came up with the idea to organize a small get-together to celebrate that fact. When he brought it up to Soonyoung, the younger had looked at him in skepticism because, this is most definitely a way for him to finally talk to Joshua outside of work hours. And the other manager took the bait perfectly, agreeing to the arrangement within the second.

That’s how Soonyoung ends up debating every single outfit combination, at 8PM on his first free day in ages.

“Just wear the first outfit, it was fine,” Junhui unhelpfully provides from the comfort of his friend’s bed, scrolling on his phone with outside clothes on. Soonyoung decides not to scold him for that because, said clothes do look really good on him. The tight leather pants hug his thighs perfectly, and the see-through shirt is just slutty enough for it to be socially acceptable at what is supposed to be a simple get-together, rather than a party.

“Fine is not good enough,” Soonyoung replies hastily, already grabbing the next pair of pants with the same tank top he has been wanting to wear out since he bought it a few weeks ago. Due to his busy work schedule, he hasn’t had the chance to yet, so he has to make use of this situation.

“It was great, does that help?” Junhui looks up from his phone with a mischievous smile as he notices Soonyoung scowling at him, way too pleased with himself. “Who else is going to be there, anyway?”

“Seungcheol-hyung, the director, some of the staff…” He trails off when he realizes what his friend is hinting at.

“And…?” Said friend asks anyway, because he’s an asshole.

“Yes, Jun, Minghao will be there too.”

“Assa!” Junhui all but cheers with his hands and legs in the air. He then drops down again with a giggle and if Soonyoung wasn’t pretending to be annoyed by him, he would laugh at how cute the other can be.

“You are way too excited about seeing him,” he answers instead.

“And why aren’t you?” The elder retorts, phone thrown onto the mattress next to him, long forgotten.

“I see him every day at work, why should I be excited?”

“Because,” Junhui stands up and helps pick some of the discarded clothes off the floor, “you are seeing him during your free hours! This is your first time meeting for something that isn’t work. Seungcheol is an angel for planning that for you.”

“Seungcheol planned it to get into Minghao’s manager’s pants.”

“I would like to see that, actually.” Perv.

With a roll of his eyes, he grabs wide-legged pants out of his closet. They’re a grey colour, decorated with small chains and fancy-looking pockets. It would fit perfectly with his white tank top, if he accessorizes well enough.

When he shows it to Junhui, his friend lets out a whistle. “Even I would want to fuck you, looking like that.”

It’s a compliment of the highest regard, in Junhui’s own weird way. His freaky way. But a compliment, nonetheless. He has to take the opportunity.

When he’s finished dressing up, decorated with all sorts of chains and rings, he and Junhui are finally on their way to Seungcheol’s apartment. They arrive fashionably late, 8:15 pm, the room already filled up with Soonyoung’s colleagues. Everyone is sitting down, relaxed and laughing. It feels nothing like the tense atmosphere that was engrossing the studio, for which Soonyoung is glad. It seems like everyone has brought their plus-one, which makes it feel even more familiar. He looks around the unknown faces across the room.

“Soonyoung-ah!” Seungcheol calls from the couch, immediately moving to stand up and introduce himself to Junhui. He can feel his friend staring Seungcheol up-and-down, lingering a bit longer on his ass, and Soonyoung has to keep himself from gagging. In his short year of working with Seungcheol, of course he’s noticed that his manager is… gifted, in some parts, but never did he see someone staring so unabashedly. Leave it to Junhui to do exactly that.

“I’m Seungcheol, Soonyoung’s manager,” the eldest introduces himself politely anyway, either pretending not to notice or truly not noticing the way Junhui is eye-fucking him. He has to look up a bit to reach the other’s eyes.

“Junhui. Or you can call me Jun,” the other replies, a small but obvious smirk playing on his lips. Their hands linger tangled for a bit, until Soonyoung coughs to bring them back to the real world.

“Nice to meet you,” Seungcheol ends curtly, beckoning back to the living room where everyone is sitting.

“Come sit down, I’ll get you guys something to drink.” And so they do.

Soonyoung introduces himself to all the new people—Jeonghan, Joshua’s best friend, and his boyfriend Mingyu. Then there’s Jihoon, who brought his boyfriend Chan, who brought his best friend Seungkwan. Seungkwan is dating Wonwoo, who he brought along, and it’s such a big mess of plus-ones that Soonyoung doesn’t even remember who was originally invited by Seungcheol.

They all seem nice anyway. Loud, but nice.

“And where is the director?” Junhui asks lowly to Soonyoung once they’re settled down. The younger hadn’t missed how his best friend’s gaze had lingered on Joshua’s big hands, just like they had lingered on Seungcheol’s ass earlier. “And, where is Minghao?”

The younger immediately fixes his gaze on Junhui in vexation, willing him to shut up for once. He’s being way too loud in a room full of people that don’t know what he and Minghao have going on, save for Seungcheol. And he wants to keep it that way.

“How am I supposed to know?” He hisses back, hoping no one else is noticing.

Junhui simply shrugs his shoulders with a mischievous smile that Soonyoung really wants to knock off his face right now.

Right as he is about to, however, the door opens to reveal a very stoic-looking Minghao. Or, his natural stance. He is always stoic, so damn emotionless. Soonyoung clicks his tongue in annoyance as the rest of the group stands up to greet him in either familiarity or fascination.

He takes a sip of the cocktail Seungcheol made him with the stare of a petulant child, annoyed by how much attention Minghao is receiving while all he got were regular handshakes and maybe a ‘Oh, I saw you in that one super niche drama nobody has heard of!’, when said Minghao reaches him.

“Hi,” is all he says. Stoic look on his face, stoic pose. Thick lips.

Soonyoung doesn’t reply. He just scoots aside as he lets Minghao plop down next to him on the couch, all the other spots already taken.

“Junhui, you didn’t tell us you were Chinese!” Joshua comments in awe as Junhui starts a conversation with Minghao in their native tongue. Everyone seems to be head-over-heels for Soonyoung’s best friend, but especially Seungcheol and Joshua. Of course they are. How could they not, it’s Junhui. He’s easy to love and even easier to find attractive.

“I thought my name gave it away,” said Junhui replies with a scratch on his head.

Soonyoung is left in the middle as the two guys next to him start conversing in a language he doesn’t know. Maybe it’s for the best, seeing as he has lost all his energy to talk anyway. He feels uncharacteristically quiet—shy and admittedly a bit uncomfortable. The only men he knows in this room are talking to each other, and he can’t seem to jump into any of the others’ conversations.

“Ah, director!” Seungcheol yells from behind the couch as he opens the door, letting in the director with his own plus-one. Minghao and he both sit up instantly, giving each other a look when said director is walking in, holding hands with said plus-one.

“Hi, everybody!” The plus-one greets, smile as bright as sunshine. The director is looking at them with chagrin, albeit a little happier than usual. The small smile playing on his face is undeniable, hearts all love and adoration when looking at the sunshine smile.

Seungcheol introduces the director to the rest of the group. “This is the director of Soonyoung and Minghao-ssi’s new drama, Chwe Hansol.” He looks at the other man, who introduces himself with an excited wave.

“I’m Lee Seokmin, Hansol’s husband.”

“His what?!” Soonyoung yells accidentally, immediately covering his mouth as if that will take back the words. He catches Minghao glaring at him in anger, and the rest of the group staring at him in confusion, causing him to apologize.

Seokmin just laughs it off with a wave of his hands. “He hasn’t talked about me once, huh? He’s always so secretive.”

Hansol shrugs his shoulders. “They haven’t asked me about you,” he explains, causing Seokmin to roll his eyes.

“Anyway, I hope you guys have been taking care of Hansollie well. I’m sure he’s been as polite as ever,” he then says with a smile, and Soonyoung can’t find it in himself to ruin that happiness by mentioning how much of a nightmare it had been in the first few weeks. Neither can Seungcheol, Joshua or Minghao, judging by the looks on their faces. They have a comical fake smile on their faces as Seokmin and Hansol find their place on some extra chairs Seungcheol has pulled out for them.

The conversation easily picks up from there. Their director Hansol is much more likable when he’s not at work—or just when he’s with his husband. He is perfectly quiet but clearly listening to a story Seokmin is telling about their wedding, their hands laced as Hansol plays with the others’ fingers. It’s cute.

Junhui is talking to Minghao next to him, Soonyoung still trapped in the middle. They’ve switched to Korean now to make it a bit more comfortable for him, though they didn’t need to. It’s not like Soonyoung needs to be included. He listens in anyway.

“Hopefully I’m not intruding, Minghao,” Junhui starts, “but do you have a lot of Chinese friends here? I haven’t seen you at any gatherings.”

“Gatherings?” Soonyoung asks now, curiosity peaked. Admittedly, he’s also interested in bits and pieces of Minghao’s private life. What could have happened that turned him into such an impassive man?

“Yeah,” Junhui answers him, gaze turned to him briefly before returning to the other man. “I organize meetups for other Chinese people here in Seoul. They’ve gotten pretty popular. Some idols also join us.” He explains it so casually, like he didn’t just mention famous idols going to his events. Soonyoung feels a tad of shame for not knowing this information already.

Minghao hums from beside him. “I don’t have many friends from my home country,” he explains curtly. Junhui looks at him empathetically. He knows what it’s like to be far from home, after all.

“You can join anytime you want!” He offers. “I’m sure if I tell the other members you want to come, they’ll accept instantly. You’re a big inspiration for a lot of them.”

Minghao smiles at the compliment, but shakes his head anyway. “I’m sorry,” he just says, clearly not wanting to talk about it any more.

Junhui has no choice but to accept. “Fair enough. But if you change your mind, you know where to find me. I’m sure Soonyoung will gladly help you.” He gives Soonyoung a stern look then, making sure to convey the message. The other nods with a slight pout, defeated. There’s nothing scarier than an angry Junhui, and he knows that.

“Now excuse me, but I have to go flirt with the loves of my life,” The eldest of the trio says and with that, he leaves.

Soonyoung watches him leave before he can stop him. He’s already reached out his hands, trying to pull him back and save him from what is going to be the most awkward moment of his life, but it’s too late. He’s here, alone, with Minghao.

In silence.

The two look around the room, the group all having split into several smaller circles that are all engaged in conversations. Soonyoung plays with his hands to make himself feel a bit less awkward, but it doesn’t help much because he then turns to look at Minghao’s and remembers them on his mouth, wrapped around his—

No. Not here and definitely not now.

Minghao doesn’t say anything, seemingly unaffected by Soonyoung’s mood or the overall awkwardness of it all. He leans back against the couch, one arm spread over the cushions and one leg crossed over the other. He’s always so cool and composed, and Soonyoung hates it. He’s so selfish, and so arrogant, and completely on his high horse.

But then why did he help Soonyoung a few days ago?

“I—” Soonyoung wants to start, but nothing comes out. Maybe because he has no idea where he’s going with this. He just wanted to say something, anything, to make the discomfort in his chest go away.

Minghao looks at him instantly, though, eyes a little bit wider than usual in calm curiosity. Soonyoung’s eyes instantly fall on his lips, as they so often do. He has to force himself to look up again.

“I… Filming has been—been going well, hasn’t it?” He stutters his way through the question pathetically, which Minghao answers with one of his famous confused looks. He knows the other simply can’t stand the silence, he doesn’t actually care.

He replies anyway. “Yeah. We’ve been doing better ever since… that.”

No need to mention what that is, because Soonyoung understands right away.

“Yeah.” It’s all he can come up with. He doesn’t know why, but talking to Minghao requires so much energy from him. He doesn’t need it with anyone else, usually quite the social butterfly—but with Minghao? It feels like he’s ran a marathon by speaking one word with the man.

Thankfully Seungkwan is there to save him. “Hyungs! We were planning to play a drinking game, you up for it?”

And Soonyoung is more than happy to take a drink right now.

𓂃۶ৎ

Soonyoung is more than happy when he takes his tenth shot of the night. Or was it twelfth? He honestly doesn’t remember. He also doesn’t remember why he started drinking in the first place. Or why he’s in Seungcheol’s apartment right now.

All he knows is that he keeps losing at this drinking game, which is no surprise because he sucks at games like beer pong, and that he keeps having to take disgusting shots of tequila. He’s sure that Seungcheol has switched them out with something else, because he knows how much of a lightweight Soonyoung is. It doesn’t help much, because Soonyoung still feels the room spin.

He’s not the only one, though. Seungkwan has been right there with him for some time, as has Chan. Seokmin’s cheeks are too red to be normal, and Mingyu and Seungcheol have been arguing for quite some time on why Seungcheol would need to take a taxi home while they’re literally in his apartment.

The only people sober as a judge are Minghao and Wonwoo, the other boys buzzed up but not as far gone as Soonyoung is. He looks at the two, in the far corner of the room discussing whatever topic. They seem so alike, only difference being that Wonwoo is a sweetheart and Minghao something more like the devil. Soonyoung feels bad for Wonwoo, having to converse with somebody like that. He deserves much better.

“I quit,” he says to nobody in particular, stumbling upright and to the corner of the room. He plops down right in between Wonwoo and Minghao, them both having to scoot over a little bit to give him enough room. Wonwoo immediately holds his arm tightly, preventing him from falling over, while Minghao gives him an angry stare, clearly annoyed. As he said, something like the devil.

“You okay, Soonyoung?” Wonwoo calls, looking over at Seungkwan to check in on the younger. Seungkwan just smiles adorably at him, letting him know everything’s okay.

“Yes, just wanted to talk to you.” He makes sure to accentuate the you to let Minghao know he wants nothing to do with him. He’s barging in on this conversation, not joining it.

“What’s up?” Wonwoo asks sweetly, tilting his head slightly like a cat. It’s cute. He’s cute. Seungkwan’s gotten lucky.

“Uhm, thank you.” Soonyoung didn’t realize he said that out loud, but what does it matter anyway. His head doesn’t feel like it’s on straight. It keeps dropping down left and right. He tries to move it upright and keep it still, but it only makes it worse. It drops down left to right, left to right—

Until two strong hands stop him, keeping his head still for him.

“You’re going to strain your neck, moving like that,” the stoic voice says from behind him, and Soonyoung turns around so quickly he’s scared he got whiplash.

Minghao is right there in front of him, staring at him incredulously with his hands splayed out in front of him, forced to let go because of Soonyoung’s sudden actions. The elder can’t tell why the younger’s eyes seem softer suddenly, not as harsh as they were just a minute ago.

“I don’t need your help, thank you very much.” He’s aware that he’s pouting, as he always is when he’s drunk. Junhui’s told him plenty times that he gets clingy, pouty and horny when he’s like this. He can’t help it.

Minghao laughs sarcastically at the comment. “Wow, my help?”

“Yes, your help! I don’t need anything from you.” Wonwoo is watching the two bicker helplessly, turning to Seungkwan once again to beg him for help. Seungkwan stares back at him in confusion, wondering what happened in the two minutes he wasn’t paying attention to his boyfriend. Wonwoo simply shrugs.

“You sure needed my help when you—” Minghao starts, but it all becomes muffled when Soonyoung covers his mouth to shut him up, a strange sense of déjà vu overtaking him.

“You’re unbelievable!” The elder starts. “So you help me one time just to throw it in my face?”

Minghao seems genuinely confused, moving the hand away from his mouth with ease. His larger hand covers Soonyoung’s up completely, their fingers tangling a little. “Throw it in your face?” He retorts with a scoff. “You’re the one who acts like I’m the fucking devil for no reason!” He accuses.

“Not true.” Don’t mention how Soonyoung just called him exactly that in his head mere minutes ago.

“Don’t try to deny it. I know you don’t—” Minghao starts before he is rudely interrupted by Seungcheol and Joshua, trying to calm them down.

“Boys,” Seungcheol tries to start with a honey sweet voice.

“What?!” Minghao and Soonyoung yell back at the same time, looking at him in anger, fingers still laced, leaning into each other because the alcohol makes Soonyoung uncoordinated.

“Let’s try to calm down, okay? Alcohol is not good for my Soonyoungie, he always gets so emotional, ha-ha,” Seungcheol excuses the actor as he pries Soonyoung off Minghao, leading him off the couch. Wonwoo seems to be the one who called the two managers, now a safe distance from the actors as he stands next to Seungkwan.

Hansol sighs in exasperation, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “I swear to god, these two,” he swears silently, but Seokmin still picks up on it. He slaps his shoulder.

“Ow!” Hansol calls out exaggeratedly, looking back at the perpetrator in shock.

“I think they’re cute,” Seokmin calls, hands joined together and head slightly tilted in awe. “They fit really well. Must’ve been a great casting director to put them together.”

Hansol blushes at the compliment, as he was the one who put them together.

“Just give them some time,” Seokmin continues, staring at the two actors who are now separated. Joshua and Minghao on one end of the room, Seungcheol and Soonyoung on the other. “I’m sure they’ll figure things out.”

Hansol knows better by now than to not believe Seokmin when it comes to things like love and romance. After all, he was the one who believed in the two of them, even when Hansol was deemed ‘emotionally unavailable’ by everybody else.

So he opts to nod, which earns him a kiss on the cheek by his husband.

𓂃۶ৎ

The days after Minghao and Soonyoung’s fight are thankfully off-days. They have enough time to cool off from their argument, to get their heads straight. Soonyoung sighs as he lays in bed that afternoon—because that’s all he’s been doing since; lying in bed.

It surprises him how bad he feels about the fight. It’s just Minghao, it’s not like it was Junhui or Seungcheol, or any of the other people in the group. This is Minghao. The meanspirited, arrogant and selfish Minghao who doesn’t care about Soonyoung in the slightest and only helped him that one time to make fun of him afterwards.

But he did help him, despite Soonyoung having done nothing to deserve it. He called him the literal devil, that was a little harsh. His drunk mind always makes him so mean.

He does the best thing he can when feeling guilty out of his mind—call Junhui. The other might be older by a mere five days, but he does always have the best advice in these situations. An old man’s wisdom, he calls it.

“Apologize to him,” the old man all but orders the second Soonyoung’s explained his predicament. The other Gemini was also at the party when the whole argument went down, he saw everything. So there wasn’t much to explain anyway.

Deep inside, Soonyoung knows that Junhui is right. He knows that he was in the wrong, which is why he is drowning in guilt in the first place. There’s only one way to save himself before it’s too late—and that is to apologize.

But that thought scares him.

Apologizing feels like admitting defeat. Feels like he is the one in the wrong in all of this while that only counts in this singular situation. Minghao was still wrong for treating him like shit the first time they met, and he is still arrogant and selfish as ever. Apologizing doesn’t change all that.

However, because he is not arrogant nor selfish himself, he still has to apologize. He feels awful for yelling at Minghao in a public setting, embarrassing both the other actor and himself. And, for the sake of the drama, he doesn’t want to get back to their previous drama. His dislike for Minghao cannot affect his job any longer, or affect all his other colleagues. He can already see his director Hansol, angered look on his face as he calls the two actors and their respective managers to the back to scold them once again. He cannot put Joshua and Seungcheol through that. Hence, he must apologize.

That’s how he ends up at Minghao’s fancy apartment building at 10PM at night, sighing in relief when the younger doesn’t deny him entry as one of the bodyguards calls on him. His heart beats in an unsteady rhythm as he leaves the elevator and walks up to the right door, one he has entered before when it seemed like he and Minghao would finally work things out. How wrong he had been.

Soonyoung’s mind is still full of questions regarding that moment in the middle of set, where Minghao had kissed his hand like it was something to be loved. Was it truly a lie? Did Minghao do that, just to make fun of him later? But it had seemed so awfully real.

He’s pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of the door opening in a frantic, quick pull. Minghao is on the other side—looking disheveled in a loose shirt and grey sweatpants, so different from his usual demeanor which seems to be in a constant state of perfection. He looks… tired. Worn out.

“Soonyoung,” he calls, eyes widened a tiny bit even though he must have expected Soonyoung to come. He let the other in, after all.

“Hi,” the elder replies, curtly. He looks inside the hallway, a quiet request. Minghao grants him entrance, stepping aside to let the other in. As Soonyoung takes his shoes off and walks inside, Minghao sits down on the leather couch in the middle of his grand living room. The windows are outlooking Seoul’s night sky—skyscrapers and streets lit up like stars.

Soonyoung decides to cut to the chase. He doesn’t need to be here any longer than necessary. “So,” he starts, “I wanted to… apologize. For that night. I had no right to yell at you.” He’s staring back at the other with guilt playing in his eyes, fiddling with his hands like he usually does when he gets nervous.

He hears Minghao sigh when he turns his gaze back to the night sky. Then, two pats onto the cushions of the leather couch. “Sit.”

Soonyoung does, gaze cast down to his socked feet.

“I’m sorry too,” Minghao then says, which makes Soonyoung look up abruptly. As he does, the other looks away. “I have been thinking a lot, about our fight. Why you don’t like me. And… it all leads back to our first meeting, doesn’t it?”

Soonyoung nods, mouth opened in shock. But he does not dare speak.

“I think I’ve introduced myself badly. I was just nervous that day, I did not realize I must have seemed rude. So, I apologize.”

“You… were nervous?”

Minghao finally looks back at him. “Yes.” He seems to contemplate whether to continue talking or not.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Soonyoung tries to appease the other, make him feel comfortable. He’s never seen Minghao so out of his element before. It’s like the stoic and calm demeanor he’s always sported before never existed. Minghao’s biting his lips in nerves, also fiddling with his hands just as Soonyoung was doing moments ago. The same exact habits.

But Minghao tells him “No, I want to explain,” anyway, and takes a breath to steady himself. “I’m not out yet, this drama is my first step to getting there. I don’t know how the public is going to react.”

Soonyoung had never considered that before. He’s already out, he has already faced the consequences of his nature. The hate, the criticism—he’s heard it all and has found a way to deal with it and give the words a prison in his mind so they can never escape and find a way to his heart. It doesn’t hurt him anymore. But Minghao, he is so loved by the public. If, or when he comes out, that may all be changed. He might lose it all.

“I-I’m sorry,” Soonyoung stutters. “I didn’t realize your position. I thought selfishly of you, I’m sorry.”

Minghao shakes his head. “My thoughts gave me no right to reflect them onto you. I am the one who should apologize,” he says, after which it turns silent.

The tension is out of the air. They have both apologized for their mistakes. Soonyoung’s mind is loud, but not with anger. With regrets. He had thought of Minghao as selfish, while he had been the one who couldn’t think of anyone but himself. Minghao may be a renowned actor, but that also makes every choice he makes that much riskier. He has fame, love from his fans—but that makes it that much easier to lose. He must be terrified right now.

“I’m sure the drama will turn out well,” the elder tries to soothe. “We are doing great, Hansol-nim also said so. And your fans love you, they will support you no matter what.”

Minghao scoffs slightly, it probably sounds ridiculous to him. But he smiles anyway. “Yeah, thanks.”

“If… If you want somebody to talk to, I suggest taking Junhui up on his offer. Of his organized events. He’s a great listener, and you can speak to him in your native language,” Soonyoung just keeps talking suddenly. “I don’t know much about it, of course, I was born and raised here but… maybe it could help.”

Minghao scoffs again, a bit louder this time. “I can’t.” He says curtly, back to his stoic stance, the one Soonyoung hates so much.

He desperately wants to get back to the open, sensitive Minghao from earlier. To get into his mind just a bit more. “Why?” He asks tentatively.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s nothing against Junhui- gē, if that’s what you’re worried about.” It’s fading. Minghao is closing up again, his walls building in front of Soonyoung’s very eyes. It makes him want to pull his hair out in frustration.

“It does matter!” He calls out, not yet a yell but damn near. He’s gotten it now; Minghao isn’t selfish, he just pushes everyone away. He has never seen the other talk to anyone but Joshua, neither has he seen them talk much. Even with his manager, Minghao is closed off.

Minghao’s clearly getting frustrated by being forced to open up like this. Soonyoung knows that, but he can’t help it. He wants people to like him, to trust him. It hurts that Minghao doesn’t.

“I just can’t, okay?!” The younger yells out in frustration. “They’ve told me I can’t, I can’t be seen with them.”

“They? Who, your management?” Soonyoung asks, indifferent to the yelling. How many yelling matches has he had with Minghao already? It doesn’t change anything.

Minghao nods. “They said that if I do, fans might think I take my place in Korea for granted. That I’m leaning more into my native culture than their culture.”

Soonyoung’s face is stuck on confusion because, “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Minghao simply shrugs. “It’s been like that for so long, I’m not used to anything else. It’s no big deal.”

“When Joshua-hyung brought the script of this drama to them, they were weirdly agreeable. Maybe they also don’t care about this anymore, but I simply took it as that. I’m hardly even Chinese anymore anyway.”

“Hey,” Soonyoung steps in, moving a seat towards Minghao. Their knees are touching like this. “Don’t say that. You’re as much Chinese as Junhui is, or any of his friends that attend those events. I’m sure everyone will say the same.”

He’s not sure if his words have any impact. He hopes they do. That Minghao is not listening to him simply because it’s polite to do so, but because he truly thinks Soonyoung’s words make sense. He seems to be mulling on them, that’s a start.

The silence has returned. It’s like it takes a pause every few moments, before returning in full force. Soonyoung usually feels uncomfortable with silence—having to fill it up with his constant babbling, but with Minghao it feels like a soft cushion. Much more relaxing than when he does have to talk. He’s never had that before. No need to impress anybody or keep them entertained.

He looks to his right, where Minghao is sitting, the Seoul night sky shining behind him. He’s suddenly so close. He can feel the other’s warm breath on his skin, smell the mint because he must’ve just brushed his teeth. He looks up into the eyes already staring back at him, and suddenly his lips are connected to Minghao’s.

Before he can register what’s happening, there’s a large hand on the back of his head in support, his face automatically leaning in a better position to fully let Minghao in. A tongue teases at his lower lip, asking for entrance which he is more than willing to grant.

Suddenly, the silence has been broken by sounds of lips smacking together, small moans escaping them. Suddenly, he’s being led into Minghao’s room, the memories of their last encounter still fresh in Soonyoung’s mind. Suddenly, he’s undressed and waiting for Minghao to do the same.

The younger quickly does, loose shirt and sweatpants joining the pile on the floor along with Soonyoung’s clothes. He finds his way back to Soonyoung soon enough, going back to devouring his lips like the elder needs him to do. He has no clue what’s happening or how it started, but he wants to finish it more than anything else.

He’s let go once more when Minghao sinks down, leaving traces of kisses on Soonyoung’s neck, collarbone and chest with sweet whispers of nothing. Before he can go too far down, Soonyoung stops him with a hand.

“Let me,” the elder says, to the other’s shock. Soonyoung simply kisses his mouth shut and swaps their positions, Minghao leaning back onto the headboard.

Soonyoung doesn’t think much about what he’s doing when he starts kissing down Minghao’s thighs, looking up at the other as if he holds the universe in his hands. The younger looks down at him the same way, anticipation clear in his irises. Soonyoung speeds it up for him, not much time left before this spell that has been casted over the two of them will break.

He holds Minghao’s hardening cock in his hands for a second before leaving featherlight kisses on the shaft, almost like he’s worshipping it. With how big the other is, it’s only fair.

He licks the head once or twice before finally fully sinking down, earning him a groan from the man above him. It makes him smile slightly despite himself, and despite the urge to gag overtaking him. But he’s done this before, he knows what he’s doing. Even if he has never had someone this big before.

The urge to impress Minghao still lingers somewhere deep inside him, and it outs itself whenever they’re having sex, apparently. He wants to give the best sex the actor has ever had, just like Minghao had to him. So he puts on his best show—swallows Minghao all the way down even if it hurts, because it makes it feel so much better.

The younger gets some of Soonyoung’s hair out of the way, sticking to his sweaty skin. “You like it, huh? A big cock in your mouth?”

Soonyoung moans in affirmation. He doesn’t know if Minghao is this filthy because he truly doesn’t care, or if it’s his way to not let Soonyoung in, but he loves it either way. “Then take it well, baby. Show me how much you love it.”

And Soonyoung does. He fastens his pace, making up for the length he can’t reach with his hands. Spit is dribbling out of his mouth onto Minghao’s thighs and onto the mattress, but Soonyoung doesn’t think it matters much. He’s sure the younger likes it better the messy way.

Minghao pulls him up after what feels like a way too short time, a string of spit and precum the only thing connecting his lips to the other’s cock. The younger kisses him, hard, more a clashing of teeth than anything else. Soonyoung can feel the other’s tongue licking up the mix of spit and swallowing when he separates the two of them. He can only stare back in what is either an embarrassing amount of horniness or desperation.

Minghao wets his fingers before he kisses Soonyoung again as he sits back, pulling the elder toward him with his large hand. His knees are bend on either side of Minghao’s thighs now, arms laid down on the mattress on either side of his waist. He then feels the same fingers that Minghao had wet inside his own mouth circling his entrance, entering him what feels like instantly.

He wants to fall forward in a mix of shock and pleasure, but Minghao is grounding him with a mind-numbing kiss. It’s all too much, yet not enough, and he feels bad because he is not reciprocating the kiss in the slightest, mouth simply hanging open uselessly. Minghao doesn’t seem to mind anyway, more than happy to kiss him into submission along with the fingers fucking him open.

When Soonyoung’s moans get even louder, Minghao pulls out. He pulls back from the kiss at the same time, leaning his head against the headboard with a silly smile on his slightly swollen lips. Soonyoung is left confused, out of it and his vision blurry save for the younger.

“Lay down,” Minghao commands, and so Soonyoung does. He’s on his back with Minghao above him, looking down like he’s watching his next meal. Not very unfitting.

He kisses Soonyoung once more as the other hears some scrambling in the background, the fingers that were previously fucking him replaced by something much bigger. He gasps slightly, Minghao soothing him sweetly with honey sweet kisses on his cheeks. The pain quickly subsides, being replaced with that similar pleasure when Minghao starts creating a rhythm.

He hates to say that it feels as good, maybe even better than last time. Minghao clearly knows what he’s doing with Soonyoung, as if he’s known him for years already. The elder can only hope that he’s being as good of a partner to the other. Judging by how much Minghao is moaning in his neck, sweat shining on his beautiful skin, he thinks he’s doing a good enough job.

The younger pushes himself up as he hoists Soonyoung’s legs in the air, holding him by his feet. The new angle has him thrusting right up to the elder’s prostate, every move electrifying. Soonyoung feels tears escaping him, moaning so loud he thinks the younger will push his face into the sheets again to shut him up. But he doesn’t.

He simply smiles, seemingly unaffected by this whole thing if only Soonyoung didn’t spot his chest thumping with every thrust.

His voice is still steady, though. “You’re always so loud. Loud for me, yeah?” He asks, cool and composed. His movements don’t falter, pace as delicious and killing as it was before.

Soonyoung can’t do anything but nod. His speech is slurred, totally cock-drunk. “Yes, yes, yes,” is all that he can say.

“What would your fans think, huh?” Minghao eggs on, Soonyoung moaning just by the thought of anyone watching them. It makes him think of that time on set, surrounded by all those people. “What would they say if they saw you like this, all submissive for me.”

“Stop, stop,” Soonyoung says even though he doesn’t mean it. He knows that Minghao knows he doesn’t.

“Hm?” The younger asks sweetly, “what about Seungcheol-hyung then? Watching us together, his innocent client getting fucked like this.”

With Minghao’s hands occupied with holding Soonyoung’s legs up, there’s nobody who can control the elder from stroking his own cock to find some friction. He jerks himself off as Minghao continues voicing his fantasies—which are also Soonyoung’s filthy fantasies, but he doesn’t need to know that—when he comes all over his hand and stomach.

He clenches unconsciously, which causes Minghao to let go of the elder’s feet and fall forward as he moans loudly, coming inside of Soonyoung. If the elder weren’t so far gone, he’d be proud of himself for getting the other actor this far, this uncomposed. Feeling brave, he kisses the crown of Minghao’s head as he comes down from his high, as a small thanks for giving him the best sex of his life again.

Time stands still in Soonyoung’s mind, but as he looks to the clock on Minghao’s nightstand, the clock has already struck twelve. Now that it’s silent again, he hears rain from outside the windows. He looks down at the younger, who’s buried his face into Soonyoung’s neck. Said younger looks up at him, arms closing in as if hugging Soonyoung. The elder doesn’t know why it makes his heart skip a beat.

Minghao gasps as he says, “you can stay here if you want. It’s probably too dangerous to go outside now.”

And Soonyoung doesn’t understand how a bit of rain can truly be dangerous, but he guesses that this is Minghao’s way of saying that he doesn’t want to be alone. So he nods, heart warm. The younger smiles before laying his head on Soonyoung’s chest, breathing having calmed down now.

Soonyoung hates that he has to ruin this precious moment.

“We should shower first,” he proposes, making Minghao groan.

𓂃۶ৎ

The night has shifted something in their relationship. Friendship? Acquaintance? Whatever it is that Soonyoung and Minghao share. They’ve gained an understanding, a bit more empathetic towards each other. And also, a lot more sex.

Weeks of shooting pass by in a breeze, wrapping up before Soonyoung can even realize the plot has been realized. Kissing Minghao in front of a screen gets easier the more he does it off-screen. The more he visits Minghao’s home, ending up in his bed each time, the simpler it feels to convey the same attraction to him in front of their director. It doesn’t even feel like working anymore.

He told Junhui about Minghao and his changed dynamic a short three weeks after it started. Not because he had wanted to, he didn’t think of it as that special, but because the elder had noticed a change in his attitude.

“Why do you look freshly fucked?” He asked over a glass of highball, chicken going cold in front of them. He gives Soonyoung a once-over, eyes stuck on the younger’s eyes.

But, Soonyoung can say the same thing. “And why do you?”

He forgets that Junhui has never known shame in his entire life. “Because I am. I met up with Cheollie-hyung and Joshua right before I came here.”

The Seungcheol-Joshua-Junhui thing hasn’t been going on for that long, to Soonyoung’s knowledge. So he wonders why he keeps getting his ear yapped off about it every single time he’s in a five-meter radiance from either one of them. If it’s not Seungcheol talking about how lovely his Jun and Joshua are, it’ll be Joshua telling him about how much fun they’re having. Not to mention, his time at work has gotten completely overtaken by his and Minghao’s managers doting on each other every second of the day.

He rolls his eyes in response when Junhui keeps talking. “So, what about you? And don’t tell me it’s that new skincare product you’re promoting.”

The younger rolls his eyes again. “No, you’re right,” he replies curtly. He doesn’t want to mention by who, at least not if he doesn’t want the whole restaurant to know because of Junhui’s enthusiasm.

He really needs to stop underestimating how well his best friend knows him. “And, does he live up to his sex god title?”

“What?”

Junhui just smirks. “He must be, I’ve never seen you less stressed in my life. He fucked the anxiety right out of you.”

Soonyoung tries not to be too obvious as he takes a sip of his water, the liquid cold against his teeth. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

It’s Junhui’s turn to roll his eyes. “Minghao, of course. Do I look stupid to you?”

Soonyoung chooses to stay silent.

“Don’t answer that,” Junhui replies with scrunched eyes as he takes a bite of his chicken. “So, you guys made up then? Or is it something like a hate-fuck?”

The younger sighs, giving up on acting like it’s nothing. Truth is, he doesn’t know. Is it still a hate-fuck if you end up cuddled in the other’s bed each and every time? Is it still a hate-fuck if he takes care of you afterwards, kissing you softly? Is it still a hate-fuck if you want to stay with him, even the morning after?

“I guess so,” he opts to say.

“Just for Minghao, or also for you?” Junhui asks.

“For the both of us, I think.” He’s tired of the topic before it has even started, really. What does it matter why they have sex? If he likes to stay in Minghao’s bed and hug him until he drifts off to sleep, that’s his business. It doesn’t have to mean he likes being with the other. Maybe he simply likes company.

The conversation had stopped there. Soonyoung hadn’t thought about why he started thinking about Minghao even when it didn’t involve their relations. Why he wanted to seek him out in the most regular times of his day. Why he thought of calling him and talking to him about nothing.

But as all good things, they must come to an end at some point.

Shooting had wrapped up, the last scene filmed strangely being one for the first episode that will air in a short week after post-production. A scene where he and Minghao’s character haven’t even met, alone in the world. Soonyoung can’t understand why he feels an ache in his chest at the thought of that, he and Minghao being split up, becoming a reality soon.

He ends the filming with applause and hugs to the staff, the biggest one for Hansol, who had been a dream to work with after the first initial weeks. He had been straight to the point—clear about his vision and able to give the instructions to bring it to life. He and Soonyoung had gotten closer over the weeks working together, as have he and Minghao. Seokmin would also visit the set from time to time, and it’d be even more fun to spend their breaks with the couple.

To his and Seungcheol’s surprise, Hansol had been the one to organize a get-together to accommodate the wrap-up. Seokmin had insisted it was Hansol’s idea, though no one really believed him. Either he let Hansol take the credit for his plan, or he was simply way too excited to invite all eleven of them to their apartment.

Either way, here Soonyoung is now, drinking beer with his colleagues and their plus-ones who have turned into familiar strangers. He’s enjoying himself, feeling his ears getting red with every drink he takes. But he can let go. He can sit back and relax, after all these months.

So why is he still so on edge?

The reason for that might be that Minghao is sitting cross-legged across the room, looking at him like he might eat him alive.

See, Soonyoung has noticed him looking ever since he arrived, Junhui immediately moving to sit next to Seungcheol and Joshua. He’s also noticed that Minghao is not saying much—even less than usual, simply sipping on his drink the entire night. Looking oddly… entranced.

Soonyoung might be reading it wrong. He might be looking too much into it, for whatever reason. Maybe hope. Maybe delusion.

But he knows he’s not misreading the signs Minghao gives him, already so similar with them. His eyes lingering on his body, him letting his hands wander down Soonyoung’s ass when he’s reaching for a new drink. And the more Soonyoung drinks, the more he wants to respond to those signs.

He’s probably not going to see Minghao again after his, save for the premiere and maybe some promotional content. This is basically his last chance to fuck him. He desperately wants to.

Before he gets the chance to initiate that, however, Joshua comes up to him. He’s drunk out of his mind, letting go of his manager-status for once. Granted, this isn’t work, so he’s more than allowed to. Soonyoung has just never seen Minghao’s manager this way.

Said manager blocks his way back to the living room from the bathroom when Soonyoung tries to get back to the group. Arm outstretched, broad body covering his view of the door. The younger gulps.

“There you are, infamous Soonyoungie,” the manager slurs, smiling in a way that can easily be read as mischievous.

“Here I am,” he responds, smiling back despite himself because Joshua looks adorable like this. Cheeks red, eyes scrunched in a way that reminds him of that one Sanrio character the elder loves.

“What have you done to my little Haohao, huh?” Joshua continues, making Soonyoung’s eyes widen and his heart stop beating for a second. He knows?

“He’s been actually talking to me recently. About his feelings, at that! Crazy.” Joshua is now holding Soonyoung’s shoulder, swaying the both of them around unconsciously. “I guess I have you to thank for that.”

“What… what did he tell you?” Soonyoung asks nervously, trying to bite back his curiosity to his best ability.

“Hm? Nothing much, just that he…” Joshua actually giggles, like a young boy about to play a prank. “Just that he likes you.”

Huh?

“L-likes me?” Soonyoung didn’t hear this right. The few beers he’s had have not only made him horny, but also straight up delusional. He’s imagining things.

But Joshua nods, like he didn’t just single-handedly make Soonyoung’s world stop spinning. “You guys have been fucking around, right? Is there any other Kwon Soonyoung he’s working with?”

This doesn’t make any sense. Minghao hates him. Sure, they’ve gotten along better ever since that one night a few weeks ago, but it has never changed Minghao’s mind on him. He still thinks Soonyoung is loud, annoying. The same Minghao could never like him.

Noticing the younger’s silence, Joshua gasps with a hand in front of his mouth. “Did I say something I shouldn’t have?” He asks, letting go of Soonyoung’s shoulder slightly. Enough for him to escape.

He shakes his head toward the elder. “N-no, hyung, don’t worry. I’ll go back to the others, okay?”

He walks past a confused-looking Joshua, feeling slightly bad for the elder as he’s left there alone. He probably should send Seungcheol or Junhui to him, to help. But he can’t think of anything other than Minghao.

Is this why the younger’s stare seemed ten times more intense than usual? Why he’s let Soonyoung stay over after sex, cuddling him until they fall asleep? Why their scenes have been proceeding without any hassle? When exactly did their dynamic change?

As he sits back down, Seungkwan is next to him in an instant. He’s handing the elder a beer, which Soonyoung takes automatically, unable to think when he finishes it in one go. The action makes Seungkwan look at him with wide eyes, mumbling “Oh, gosh,” as he puts the glass down for his hyung and sits back into the couch.

“Are you okay, hyung?” He asks as he puts a hand on the elder’s shoulder, just like Joshua had when he shook up his world.

“I’m fine,” Soonyoung replies, but his voice is not really there.

“Drank too much, huh,” Seungkwan responds, going to stroke the elder’s hair. He doesn’t notice that Soonyoung has sobered up completely, wide-awake. His dongsaeng is sweet.

He’s almost okay again, the hand in his hair doing wonders of calming him down, when another large hand joins in.

“Is he okay?” Minghao asks Seungkwan, sitting down on his right side on the couch. The weight shifts, and Soonyoung is leaning into the other actor before he can do much about it.

And maybe he hasn’t sobered up as well as he thought he did, because his chest instantly warms up at the feeling of Minghao’s body next to his. His heart quickens its pace, unable to deny the younger of anything. He doesn’t understand what it means.

“I think he’s had too much to drink, hyung.” And it’s not true, he wants to deny Seungkwan’s words, but nothing seems to come out. Minghao’s body is so warm, and he can hear the other’s heartbeat as he leans into his chest slightly. A comforting pace for his already tangled mind.

“I’ll take him home,” Minghao announces, much to Soonyoung’s shock, which is still not enough for him to get up. But as he hears the younger mumble, “He can never handle his liquor,” he steps in.

“Hey! I’m not even drunk!” He refutes, but it only makes Minghao smile in a way that tells Soonyoung that what Joshua said is true. Love-smitten.

“Sure you’re not,” the other says, patting Soonyoung’s cheek softly. “Let’s go.” And with that announcement and a few goodbyes, they leave.

It’s silent in the taxi Minghao has called for them. They’re sitting apart, way too far apart, Soonyoung looking out of the window as his mind is yelling at him. The noise drowns out everything around him—Minghao might have been speaking to him, but he didn’t hear. He blames it on the alcohol, knowing it’s far from that.

They arrive at Minghao’s apartment in what feels like forever, the tension in Soonyoung’s body too high to feel that he’s standing up and actively walking towards the infamous door he’s opened so many times before. He stands in the hallway of Minghao’s apartment, the younger taking off his shoes for him because he thinks Soonyoung is too drunk to do it himself.

“You’re make-up from the shoot is still on, right?” Minghao asks, and Soonyoung feels himself nodding though he doesn’t know why. The younger smiles. “Thought so. You look pretty.”

And though he can’t process the words properly, the compliment still makes Soonyoung’s heart skip a beat.

Minghao leads him to the bathroom, beckoning him to sit on the counter as he grabs some cleansing products. As he puts some oil on cleaning pads, Soonyoung can’t help but stare.

Minghao’s pretty, that much is obvious. He’s gained a bit of weight since the start of filming, which hasn’t gone unnoticed. The glow on his body is evident—as is the brighter smile he carries himself with. Joshua said…

Is that all because of him? Did Soonyoung do this?

That’s what Joshua implied, isn’t it? Minghao has started talking to him about his feelings, something he used to never do. He’s eating better, smiling more. That can’t be because of Soonyoung, can it?

But, as Minghao is asking him softly to close his eyes so he can wipe them clean, he starts talking.

“I actually went to one of Junhui-gē’s meetings recently,” he starts, and Soonyoung’s heart stops. “It was really fun to talk to people. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to speak Chinese comfortably like that.”

Soonyoung can’t seem to say anything back. He wants to tell Minghao how proud he is, how happy he is for the younger that he was able to take this step, but his mouth is shut. So Minghao just continues,

“The people there were really fun, too. I made a lot of new friends thanks to you.”

As the pad leaves Soonyoung’s eyes, he opens them slowly. “Thanks to me?”

“You’re the one who suggested it, didn’t you?” Minghao smiles prettily, the light mimicking a halo around his head. He’s so pretty.

“Junhui’s the one who suggested it, if you think about it.”

Minghao giggles at that, bright smile so far from the person Soonyoung had imagined him to be before. He can’t believe that he called this man, so precious and loving, arrogant before. He wishes he could take it all back.

“You’re the one who pushed me to do it. If not for you, I would have never went,” Minghao explains as he turned around and grabs some of his skincare products. Some of the products are from brands he sponsors, looking expensive and luxurious.

He makes the elder close his eyes again as he applies the products on his hyung’s face, so softly that Soonyoung barely feels he’s there. He knows he’s not drunk but Minghao almost makes him feel like that with how affectionate he’s being. It’s hard not to fall into that trap.

When Soonyoung opens his eyes again after all the creams are applied to his skin, Minghao finishing off with a boop to his nose, he sees the younger staring at him with so much love that he almost thought it impossible. He’s unsure how he hasn’t noticed this before, it all being so obvious to him now. He desperately wants to kiss him.

Minghao beats him to it, connecting their lips so feather-light that it almost feels like a dream. This is unlike any other kiss they’ve shared—hell, this is unlike any kiss Soonyoung’s ever shared. So full of love and affection that he’s light-headed, so soft that he doesn’t know what to do.

He kisses back with more fervor, unable to stand the softness. He can’t deal with it right now, doesn’t want to. The way to ignore his dilemma is to deepen the kiss, to make it worth less. His heart still feels like it’s pumping out of his chest, his mind fleeting somewhere in the corner of the bathroom, but at least his actions feel less blurry.

He jumps off the counter as he tries to clumsily keep connecting his lips to the younger’s, leading them to his bedroom. He keeps kissing him, tongue meeting tongue, moans ringing in Soonyoung’s ears until he reaches the bed and lets himself fall down onto the mattress. Minghao towers over him in an instant—covering the lights and something like bright stars surrounding him instead, before the younger goes back to kissing him.

It’s different this time. As Minghao thrusts into him, it feels like love. As he whispers sweet praises into his neck, kissing him softly, it’s more than just sex. It’s something else entirely.

It’s suffocating. It’s all too much. Soonyoung feels suffocated by the amount of love he is receiving, unable to return it. He can’t respond to the sweet words, he can’t look at Minghao with the same amount of endearment. He needs to gain control, he needs to—

He sits up suddenly, shocking Minghao as the younger detaches himself from Soonyoung’s neck, looking at him concern. “Is something wrong?”

The elder actor shakes his head, but he does pull back until Minghao is detached from him completely. He then kisses the other again, hard, trying to numb his mind as he flips them around. Now that Minghao is laying on the mattress, head rested against the headboard, he goes to sit on top of him. He tries to keep kissing him, anything to refrain from looking into his eyes, when he aligns himself with the younger’s dick and sinks down.

He can’t help himself from moaning loudly when he feels Minghao’s cock reach deeper inside of him than ever before. Maybe it wasn’t the best decision to do this, but at least he’s gained some control of the situation.

He’s still not looking at Minghao when he starts moving, leaning forward to reach him, lips attached to the side of his face in an awkward mix of kissing and moaning into his ear. He feels Minghao’s hands all over him, stroking his thighs sweetly. It’s still too much. Minghao’s love is too much.

So Soonyoung leans back onto his hands, laying them on the mattress at the younger’s sides and starts moving again. He can look into Minghao’s eyes now, a dangerous game, but it still feels less intimate. Maybe because the younger’s eyes aren’t focused on him.

They’re focused on the elder’s cock, bouncing onto his stomach with every movement. It’s like he’s transfixed, biting his lip as he refrains from touching him. This, Soonyoung can use to his advantage. Make it all less personal.

“You like it, huh?” He asks, a sudden wave of confidence overtaking him. “Like me riding you?”

Minghao nods instantly, not taking his eyes off Soonyoung’s body. “Love it, baobei,” he answers. “Love it so much.”

Soonyoung’s made a grave mistake. The younger uttering these sweet nothings, these praises, it’s too much. He needs to do something.

His hand is pressing down Minghao’s thick neck before he can think too much about what he’s doing. It stuns the younger for a bit, clearly surprised by the other’s sudden dominance. He lets it happen though, even enjoying it as Soonyoung presses down more, eyes darkening when they meet the other’s again.

He doesn’t understand. He’s had sex with plenty of people before, and it’s never felt like this before. This intimate. All his regular tactics, all his ways to detach his heart from the act, they’re not working. He unconsciously stares into Minghao’s eyes, feeling his mind fleet away as he drowns in them. If it’s not his eyes, it’s his words—his constant praises and nicknames. If it’s not his words, it’s his touch—large hands feeling incredibly soft on his body. He can’t escape it.

He presses down more without even meaning to, so lost in the feeling. Minghao doesn’t protest, maybe even encouraging him to press harder as a string of spit leaves the side of his mouth, dribbling down his cheek. Soonyoung stares at the spit, unable to hold off any longer.

“I-I’m gonna—” he mutters lowly, unable to say it properly with a tangled mind. Minghao hears him though, as he always does.

“Cum, baby,” he says as Soonyoung loosens his grip. “Cum for me.”

And he does. He comes untouched for the second time in his life, both times funnily enough shared with Minghao. He tries not to think about that as his body shakes, thighs burning and sputters of white cum landing all over the younger’s stomach and chest.

He falls forward in tiredness, face falling into the crook between Minghao’s neck and collarbone. He breathes out with wide eyes as the younger strokes his hair and leaves sweet kisses on top of his head, whispering those same praises that got him over the edge. They’re ringing in his mind like a harp melody, making his head spin.

He springs up, stunning Minghao for the nth time tonight when he looks at him with those same wide eyes he can’t seem to control. The younger looks at him in the same concern, going to stroke his cheek until Soonyoung turns his face away.

“Are you okay, baobei? What’s wrong?”

Soonyoung doesn’t know. He looks at the younger’s body, his own cum comically dripping down onto Minghao’s stomach. “I can’t—” is all he says, going to fetch some tissues from Minghao’s nightstand. He stands up, forcing the younger to pull out of him. He feels empty, but it’s clearing his mind up just a little bit.

“Love, what’s going on?” Minghao asks again, voice so broken. It fills Soonyoung with the most immense guilt he’s ever felt. He grabs the tissues and turns back to the younger, head hung low.

“You-you can’t,” he repeats.

“Can’t what?” The broken voice is starting to become a mix of hurt and anger, Soonyoung can feel it. Minghao’s getting frustrated. And why wouldn’t he be? What the fuck is wrong with him?

He can’t answer. He moves to clean the younger’s stomach, but is stopped by a large hand grabbing his wrist. The other hand holds onto his chin, forcing him to look into his eyes.

“Can’t what, Soonyoung?” Minghao asks strictly, demanding an answer. He deserves it, Soonyoung knows he does. He just doesn’t want to hurt him.

But he has to. “You can’t love me.”

Minghao’s quiet for a moment, hand letting go of the other’s chin. Soonyoung tries to break free, but Minghao grabs onto both his wrists, holding him in place.

“Why not, huh?” He asks. “Why can’t I?”

“You just, can’t,” Soonyoung reiterates, closing his eyes tight so he doesn’t have to face Minghao as he hurts him.

“I think you don’t have a reason,” Minghao starts, slowly starting to let go of the elder’s wrists, “because you know, deep down inside, that you love me too.”

The silence stretches far after that. Soonyoung doesn’t have a rebuttal. He can’t tell Minghao that he doesn’t, because he doesn’t want to hurt him any more than he already has. He just wants to…

“I need to leave.”

And with that, he springs up from the bed, picking up his clothes from the floor and putting them on as quickly as he can. With a worthless, “I’m sorry,” he leaves the apartment, leaving Minghao behind—cum still on his stomach and dick still half-hard.

He runs out of the complex, crisp night air cold on his skin. He breathes in once, twice, willing himself to calm down. What just happened? What was that? He can’t process what happened just now, can’t grasp it.

Minghao just admitted he loves him. Even going as far as saying that he knows that Soonyoung loves him, too.

He doesn’t. Sure, sex with Minghao is fun and great, but not to the extent of Soonyoung falling in love with him. Sure, Minghao is gorgeous, lips round and full, eyes full of love and joy, but not to the extent of Soonyoung being able to love him forever. Sure, Minghao is kind and supportive, always working hard and diligently, but not to the extent… of…

Fuck.

Soonyoung’s falling in love with him.

It hits him hard, like a truck running into him. He feels himself floating in the air as he processes the impact, his heart beating loudly as he falls onto the ground. He’s falling in love with Minghao.

He’s falling in love with Minghao, and just ran away from him after he confessed.

𓂃۶ৎ

His heart still feels numb when he goes to Junhui’s home, Joshua and Seungcheol also there, looking fluffy in their pajamas. He stands still at the door entrance, little bag of jelly snacks in his hand, stunned. He didn’t expect other people here, especially not his and Minghao’s manager. He’s been trying to forget the other actor exists, really.

“Soonyoung-ah!” Minghao’s manager calls happily, beckoning him over to the couch. It makes the younger nervous, especially after their last conversation where he up and left the elder in the hallway, but he goes anyway. He has no choice, not with Seungcheol staring him up and down in a look that he thinks is concern.

He sits down on the couch after toeing his shoes off, Junhui still working on something in the kitchen, in between the two managers. They both look at him apologetically, stroking his hair and cheeks, cooing at him. He didn’t expect their first conversation in days to go like this. Them still acting like he’s something to be treated with kindness, not cursing him out like he feels like they should. It’s confusing.

“How you doing, bub?” Joshua asks in a high tone, one he uses when comforting others. He’s heard it plenty times before used for Minghao, or even Seungcheol and Junhui. Never on him before.

“I’m okay, hyung,” he answers, trying to deflect the topic. But Seungcheol clicks his tongue on his other side.

“Don’t lie to us, Soonyoung,” he scolds. Of course Seungcheol knows exactly when he’s lying. They may have worked together for a short time, but his manager can feel exactly how the younger is feeling. It’s like some sort of sixth sense has been developed inside of him.

The youngest sighs. “I don’t know,” he admits, and he truly doesn’t. He doesn’t understand what’s going on inside of him. This guilt he’s feeling isn’t normal, especially not towards someone he’s supposed to hate. Someone who was supposed to be a sex buddy.

Joshua is still stroking his hair, untangling the knots. “He’s not that angry, you know,” he starts. “He wants to give you time. But you should use it well, Soonyoung-ah. He can’t wait forever.”

“I know,” the other replies. “I just… don’t know.”

Seungcheol nods. “Give yourself some time, too. It will all become clearer soon.”

They don’t talk about it anymore after that. Junhui comes into the living room with a plate of food, and they all happily eat together while watching a movie. It doesn’t help Soonyoung forget about Minghao—but he’s able to enjoy himself for a little while without the burden of guilt gnawing at his insides.

“You know, the premiere’s happening soon,” Seungcheol tells him as the younger is leaving. The pair of three remains on the couch, looking happy and in love. Soonyoung is happy for them, truly. They made it work without any big reveal or drama.

He nods at the reminder. “I know.”

“Minghao will be there, too. You’ll have to pose for the camera, act like you’re getting along.”

“I won’t have to act,” he refutes. And it’s true—Minghao and he work well, so well that the drama has wrapped up filming in just a few weeks after they got over their first hindrances. He never needs to pretend with Minghao. He can just… be himself. Unapologetically.

He bites his lip as he feels tears starting to form in his eyes. Because that’s why he’s feeling so guilty, isn’t it? He does love Minghao, has loved Minghao when he didn’t even know it. But the younger did, because somehow, in such a short amount of time, he’s got to know him better than he knows himself. Soonyoung loves him and he just left Minghao there, alone, cold and heartbroken.

He feels Seungcheol’s arms around him before he feels tears wet his cheek. That sixth sense is truly something. He embraces his manager, hiding his face in his neck as he sobs, sniffing when he feels two extra pair of arms join them.

“I left him…” he cries, voice breaking and tears wetting Seungcheol’s pajamas. The others hear him regardless, hugging him harder and kissing his head.

“He’s not angry at you, Young-ie,” Junhui says. “You didn’t know. It’s okay.”

But Soonyoung shakes his head. “No,” he says, detaching himself with all of his willpower because three men are attached to him. “It’s not okay. He confessed to me and I just left him there. I’m a horrible person.”

“No,” Joshua interjects sternly. “You were confused and acted out of fear. Don’t ever call yourself a horrible person, especially when Minghao would hit you on the head for saying that.”

The room’s silent at Joshua’s sudden outburst, a single sniffle from Soonyoung the only thing able to be heard. The elder’s resolve breaks, coming back to hug the youngest again as an apology. “Sorry, I—”

“No, he needed that,” Seungcheol cuts him off, patting the youngest on the back.

“I did,” Soonyoung says as his tears stop, a sudden wave of reality hitting him. “I’ll apologize to him, try to make things right. If he’ll still have me.”

“He will,” Junhui ensures him as he ruffles his hair.

Soonyoung nods with a newfound sense of courage as he throws his shoes on. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, then.”

He leaves the apartment with a pep in his step, mentally preparing for the premiere. His guilt has mixed with a drop of excitement, finally able to see Minghao again after what feels like years. And not only that, he can tell the younger how he truly feels. Try to make things right. It’s the least he can do.

𓂃۶ৎ

The days until the premiere consist of Soonyoung writing his apology countless times, reading them again before ultimately throwing them in the trash. The paper wads collect in a pile, yet there are no words that seem appropriate to explain his feelings. Minghao deserves only the best, the most genuine and sincere apology. Soonyoung will need to work harder to be able to convey that to him.

But when he is getting ready for the event, stylist putting on his make-up while his other stylist is fixing his hair, he’s come up with nothing. Every paper had one word more than the last, yet they all seemed empty. The more words he writes down, the more they collect in his mind and create a mass of worries.

So he simply sits down, counting down the minutes until he gets to see Minghao again, letting the stylists do whatever they want to him. He forgets about most of his worries as the iron strokes his hair, the stylist knowing what to do to make every tuft of hair look just right. When he opens his eyes, his make-up looks amazing—visible but not too much. Just like that night where Minghao said he looked pretty.

He’s on his way to the venue, his taxi ride blurring with the memories of the night where he was with Minghao, on the way to his apartment. He knows he’s imagining things when he sees the younger sitting next to him, taking care of him because of his confused state. Minghao had thought he was drunk, but the opposite was true.

There’s no time to zone out as he opens the door, instantly being met with dozens of cameras taking pictures of him. The flashes hurt his eyes, but they also fill his insides with warmth. He’s worked hard for this role, and he should be proud of it. He should make the most of this moment.

Seungcheol joins him soon enough, guiding him through interviews and poses on the red carpet. He keeps a hand on the younger’s shoulder in support, knowing how out of it Soonyoung was the last time they met. How upset he had been during that evening with Joshua and Junhui. And all because of…

“Seo Myungho, look here!” The paparazzi yells, paired with a bunch of yelling from the fans. Soonyoung looks over so quickly he almost hurts the muscles in his neck, hoping the cameras don’t catch the glimmer in his eyes as he looks at the other actor. He can’t help it, because Minghao looks sensational.

He’s dyed his hair a dirty blonde and is rocking the small tattoos his arms are covered with. He’s wearing a loose grey blazer paired with loose grey pants, several colored shirts on the inside. He’s looking as fashionable as ever, and how is Soonyoung expected to take his eyes off him?

“They’ll ask you guys to do some interviews,” Seungcheol informs from his side. “I can call it off if necessary.”

“No need,” Soonyoung waves him off without looking at him. He’s still stuck on Minghao. Seungcheol hums in affirmation, but the younger can’t hear him anymore.

It’s not long before the two lead actors are called to do quick interviews for the camera. It’s odd how natural it feels when the two meet eyes, how despite everything it still brings Soonyoung comfort. He tries to convey the regret—how sorry he is for everything. But Minghao’s looking at the interviewer before he can truly impart it.

They don’t get closer, nor do they lay an arm on each other’s shoulder. To the naked eye, to somebody outside of their small group of colleagues, they must seem like mere colleagues. Maybe they seem like the pair of them from weeks ago, the pair that hated each other so much they couldn’t bear to work together. The thought leaves a sting in Soonyoung’s heart, leaves his mind a haze.

He doesn’t want to lose Minghao. Not after these promotions, nor ever. He wants to stay with him, wants to get to know him even better, wants to introduce him to his family. More than anything, he wants to tell Minghao how he truly feels.

And though he’s always been impatient, he knows he has to wait for the night to be over before he can do it. Minghao’s gave him his space for days, he can’t go ruin it now by jumping him in front of a camera. Even if the camera probably picks up on the fact that he wants to do nothing more than that.

Thankfully, interviews pass by quickly. Repeating the same answers to the same questions constantly, (“Yes, it was a dream to work with such a talented actor as Seo Myungho”, “We worked together smoothly”, “We never got into spats like our characters did”), comes quite easy to them. It’s almost as if they are still on set, filming their last few scenes—and they still have the same chemistry.

It gives Soonyoung enough hope to pull Minghao to the side as the younger is drinking a glass of champagne with Joshua at one of the tables at the afterparty. It’s been only an hour since it started, but Soonyoung figured that since technically the premiere is over, it should be okay, right? He’s been patient enough; he can’t wait any more.

Minghao positively yelps as he’s suddenly being pulled on his tattooed arm, but thankfully Joshua is the only one who notices the two. He giggles behind his hand and gives a thumbs-up to Soonyoung, who gives a small wave back. The actor pulls the two of them to a small, secluded room where they can talk in peace without being interrupted.

“Ow!” Minghao exclaims as he rubs the wrist Soonyoung pulled on, watching as said actor closes the door and locks it from the inside. He turns around and leans against it, sighing softly. “You couldn’t have asked me for a talk?”

Soonyoung raises his shoulders in innocence. “I wanted to be dramatic.”

That makes Minghao sigh in annoyance. “Well, you’ve been dramatic enough,” he says, looking at his wrist to not have to look Soonyoung in the eyes.

The elder takes a deep breath to gather up his courage, then breathes it out. “I’m sorry,” he confesses, making the other finally stop acting defensive, shoulders slumping.

Minghao wants to say something, but Soonyoung stops him before he can. “I never should have left you. I was just… confused, and I didn’t know what to do with that. You loving me seemed so unreal, so strange because, why me? You’ve always hated me, and suddenly you’re telling me you love me?” He rambles on.

“I did realize I liked you back, you know. Right outside of your apartment. I realized then, but I had already left so I couldn’t just come back. And after that I felt so guilty, I was too embarrassed to face you. But then I met up with Junhui and Seungcheol-hyung and Joshua-hyung were there, and they talked some sense into me and… I realized I love you, Minghao, I love you so much and—”

He’s shut up by Minghao kissing him stupid. A hand on the side of his face, the other on the back of his head, keeping him grounded. Soonyoung’s words die somewhere in the middle of his throat, pushed down by the sheer amount of love the younger is putting into this kiss. The lips he’s missed so much feel like heaven on his.

That is, before they’re ultimately removed again.

“You talk too much,” Minghao says in the same annoyed tone, and Soonyoung stutters.

“Well, you talk too little!” He accuses. Minghao just smiles at him in that same smitten way he always does. “You could’ve told me about your feelings, but I had to hear from Joshua! Imagine what would’ve happened if you—”

He’s kissed silent again.

“I’m sorry,” is what Minghao tells him when he pulls back. “I wanted to tell you myself, after the premiere. But hyung got drunk and apparently, he can’t shut up when is.”

Soonyoung shakes his head. “No,” he says, “you don’t have to apologize. It’s my fault.”

Minghao just nods. “So,” he starts, “you love me, huh?”

“And why can’t I?” Soonyoung retorts, but he’s only met with giggles from Minghao. He’s enjoying this. He even goes to hold the elder’s hand to convey as much, leaving a kiss on the knuckles.

“You can,” he simply states, voice so soft it’s nearly lost in the air. So quiet.

Soonyoung can’t help himself. He breaks the silence by kissing Minghao again, having missed it long enough. He’s drinking up all of the younger’s little noises—the moans, the little I love you’s. He needs more of them, actually. So he goes to Minghao’s neck, licking and biting him softly, then to his collarbones, sneaking a hand under the other’s blazer in the hopes to reaching his stomach.

“You have too many clothes on,” he says when he realizes Minghao’s shirts are tucked inside his pants, granting him no entrance. The younger just giggles again, acting like it’s funny.

It’s really not. Soonyoung is about to lose his mind here.

“How about you and I go home, then?” He asks instead. “I’m kind of tired, and I’m sure Joshua-hyung will let me leave.”

Soonyoung smiles like a cat who got the cream. Way too eager, but he doesn’t really care. Minghao seems to find it endearing, regardless of anything.

“Y-yeah,” the elder stutters, “I can tell Seungcheol-hyung.”

𓂃۶ৎ

Something has changed within Minghao, that much is clear. From the second the pair of them arrived at his apartment, he’s been kissing and touching Soonyoung like there is not much else he’d rather do. Showing his love and appreciation for him, making sure the elder knows how much he loves him. No more acts of casualness, no more pretending to be unbothered. He’s as much, if not even more responsive than the other, and two times as enthusiastic.

He’s kissing Soonyoung with fervor, pushing him up against the door with newfound strength. The elder just giggles at his eagerness, honestly adored by how badly the other wants him.

They’re lying in bed, naked as so many times before, but their dynamic has changed completely. Soonyoung’s felt Minghao’s touches countless times, in all sorts of ways, but never with this much love. It makes it all feel so much more intense—even more so because now he can finally give it back. While he had previously felt unsure, now he knows he can give Minghao the love he deserves.

So he kisses him as much as he can, even when Minghao playfully tells him to stop. He makes sure to touch him in a way that conveys love rather than lust, and he tells him he loves him with conviction. Because he does. He truly, really does.

“I love you too, baobei,” Minghao says with a laugh, trying to pull the other away from him softly. “But I really have to find a condom.”

“Do it without,” Soonyoung requests, earning him a confused look from the other, eyebrows shot up to his forehead. He puts his hands up in innocence. “What? I haven’t fucked anyone else the past few months, have you?”

The confused look is replaced with one of disbelief. A chuckle to pair it with. “Of course not. I only had eye for you.”

“Well, then stop looking and come make love to me already.”

With another chuckle, Minghao does stop looking and does as Soonyoung wants. He has his hands on him as quickly as before, prepping him with loads of kisses on his body to convey his love. It all makes Soonyoung hot—he can feel his cheeks reddening from just how badly he wants the younger. In every way possible.

Minghao enters him with a mind-numbing kiss, so intense that Soonyoung doesn’t even feel the initial stretch. All he can do is kiss back, explore the other’s mouth even if he is already familiar with it by now. He places his hands on the sides of Minghao’s head, breaks them apart so he can see how pretty the younger is when they are as close as they can be.

Minghao is beautiful. His face is flushed, all the way down to his chest, the necklace he never seems to take off hugging his neck. He’s looking at the elder with so much adoration in his eyes, stars shining in his irises. Soonyoung kisses his nose to hopefully tell him the same thing.

“I love you,” he says anyway, not missing the arousal in his own voice. “S-so much.”

“Love you too, my love,” Minghao replies easily, just like breathing. As easy as kissing him.

Soonyoung seems to learn new things from Minghao every day. The first thing he learned was that the elder, as uninterested as he may seem, cares a lot about what goes on around him. Then, that rather than being arrogant, Minghao is simply afraid to let people in. Lastly, it’s that when Minghao does let somebody in, he shows his love with so much sincerity that it almost hurts.

Soonyoung has never felt somebody love him so deeply in his life. Sex had always been a lustful act for him, something he did because he got drunk and needed somebody to spend the night with. Something he did for his own pleasure, a simple thing.

With Minghao, it’s everything but simple. It’s a complicated, intricate act. And yet, it comes so easily that it’s almost like breathing. Kissing Minghao, telling him he loves him, making him feel on top of the world—it comes easy.

He can tell that Minghao is close because his thrusts get sloppy, less rhythmic. He gets the confirmation when the younger removes one of his hands from the mattress to stroke him off and help him get closer to his edge, too.

“Hao, if you do that, I’ll—” he says, trying to hold himself back.

“Cum for me, love,” Minghao commands anyway, right at his ear before he kisses it.

Soonyoung can’t do anything but do as he says, coming all over his stomach and Minghao’s hand. The younger is quick to follow—finishing inside of Soonyoung with a low grunt in the other’s ear.

They lay there, still and out of breath, matching smiles on their faces. Soonyoung strokes the younger’s hair as he looks down at him, Minghao’s face on his chest. He looks up at him, eyes still so full of the same love. He’s so cute. Soonyoung squishes his cheeks together and kisses his nose just because he can’t contain it.

“What are you doing?” Minghao asks him with a low laugh.

“I love you,” Soonyoung explains, even if it doesn’t really explain anything. “I love you, so I can do this.”

Maybe that’s why Minghao doesn’t say anything else and just lets it happen. Maybe that’s why, when Soonyoung pulls back, he rubs their noses together and then kisses the elder softly.

“Can we stay here like this forever?” Soonyoung asks as he lays back on the pillows, suddenly exhausted. He spreads his body to look like a starfish, sighing in content.

“Just a few more moments,” Minghao has to break the spell. “Your cum is all over our stomachs.”

Soonyoung shrugs. “Maybe it makes for a good body lotion.”

“Hyung, ew.”

𓂃۶ৎ

“Are you guys ready?” Seungkwan calls to the group as he puts the last snacks on his coffee table, surrounded by twelve other friends. When they all give noise of affirmation, he goes to sit beside Wonu, giving the elder a quick peck before turning on the tv. Wonu is stunned for a few seconds before recovering and putting an arm around his boyfriend.

“Aren’t you guys excited to see the first episode of the drama you worked so hard for?” Seungcheol asks Minghao and Soonyoung strictly. “A bit more enthusiasm, please!”

Soonyoung gives his manager a stern look from where he’s sitting on Minghao’s lap, eating a bit of the popcorn he grabbed earlier together. “We’re nervous, you prick! What if the reaction isn’t good? What if everybody… hates it?” He asks dramatically, dropping some of the popcorn which is thankfully saved by Minghao’s hand under his.

The younger rolls his eyes before popping them all into his mouth. “I’m sure the reaction will be fine.”

“Well, you just came out and only got praised for it, so I’m guessing you have nothing to fear anymore,” Joshua says from beside them, sitting in between Seungcheol and Junhui. The youngest of the three is leaning all over him, and he looks more than pleased. He twines his hand into the eldest’s.

Minghao just nods, not denying it. Soonyoung gives him a kiss on the cheek just to tell him how proud he is, regardless. The younger had come out just a month prior, after much encouragement from both him and his manager. That was the entire goal of joining the cast of this drama to begin with, after all. So, a few days after the premiere, he had posted it on Instagram.

Soonyoung was right with him when he did, distracting him enough to not check the comments constantly and eat himself up inside over what he did. He had only allowed the younger to look the next morning, more than surprised to see that almost all the comments had been supportive. His fans still loved him, a lot of them even speculating something going on between the two leads. He smiled at the comments creating a shipname for him and Soonyoung, showing them to the elder who was lying next to him in bed.

“See? There’s nothing to be scared of, dear.” Soonyoung kissed him softly on the forehead, causing the other to blush as he turned his head away.

The post is a bit more than a month old now. Minghao still hasn’t gotten much backlash, and the drama had been even more anticipated now, it seems. Which is why he, Soonyoung and their friends are gathered at Seungkwan’s home to watch the first episode together.

“You know,” Seungcheol starts as the first break starts. They’re at half of the episode now—Soonyoung and Minghao’s characters still haven’t met. “I still don’t know how you guys stopped hating each other. Ever since that talk with Hansol, you guys just got along.”

Minghao looks at Soonyoung, Soonyoung looks back. They look back at Seungcheol. Look back at each other. Back at Seungcheol.

“We kinda…” Minghao starts, before Soonyoung cuts him off.

“We fucked the anger out.” He takes a popcorn from the table before returning to his spot in the younger’s lap. Seungcheol looks at him like he’s crazy. Junhui just laughs in Joshua’s chest.

“You know what,” Hansol speaks up from besides Seokmin, who’s holding his hand from his space on the couch. “I don’t even mind. You guys started doing great after that.”

“And you guys fell in love in the end,” Seokmin adds on, ever the romantic. “That’s so cute.”

“Them fucking the hate out of each other is cute to you?” Seungcheol asks abashedly, eyebrows scrunched together while beckoning his arm to the two actors in the chair next to them.

“Ya, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan scolds from his spot on the floor. He’s seated in front of Mingyu, the younger behind him, hugging his back. He looks a lot less intimidating while holding his boyfriend’s hands, gathering them in his lap. “You can’t hate on their love when you got two boyfriends while searching for just one.”

“A true one-plus-one deal,” Junhui says as a matter of fact as he hugs Joshua’s middle.

“Ya, Yoon Jeonghan!” Seungcheol argues back at the same time.

The boys argue further as they always do, ignoring the fact that the break is over and the drama has started again. Soonyoung notices, however, that Minghao’s full attention is on their characters on screen, almost as if surveying how well he did.

The elder actor gives the younger a peck on the head, making him look at him. He gives a silly bright smile before burying his face in his neck, watching the drama together. Soonyoung thinks back on the time they first met, how much they had despised each other. He almost can’t believe that was ever how he felt about Minghao.

He can only say he’s glad that his mind was changed. That he got to know the real Minghao before he could give up on him. That he’s sitting here right now, with that same Minghao, watching their work together.

“I love you,” he whispers so only the younger can hear, just because he wants to say it.

“I love you too,” Minghao whispers back, giving him a kiss on his knuckles.

“The show started again, you dumbasses!” They hear Seungkwan yell from behind them. “Now we have to start over!”

Soonyoung laughs loudly at his friends’ antics. He doesn’t think he minds watching him and Minghao fall in love over and over again.