Chapter Text
2012
Merlin, old and gray, walked past the lake with his bag on his back almost everyday, bringing back a thousand memories but more for the convenience of getting home quicker. This road meant he’d reach his bungalow at least 4 minutes faster than the flat path which ran in almost a straight line from the big Tesco. Walking past the lake meant he did have to go up and down a steep hill, but it was worth it, in his own grumpy opinion.
He’d see teenagers swimming, couples sitting, and picnics with families, and decide to walk a little faster.
“No! My hat!” A small voice squealed.
A bucket hat with Dora the Explorer flew onto Merlin’s feet. The wind was strong but it stayed in front of Merlin as if it was meant to be there. He picked it up and looked for the voice.
A little girl ran to Merlin, her hair dark and long, tangles sticking out from all sides, her skin was tanned and she wore a pink wet suit with Dora the Explorer on it.
Merlin looked at the sky as if everyone else saw a different day than he did, but no, fog engulfed the air around them, only seeing half of what he’d usually see of the lake.
She looked to be around 6, her eyebrows making her look like a stubborn little girl.
She slowed her run as she got to Merlin, a man running to catch up behind her, assumingly her dad.
“Sorry, Santa.” She squinted her eyes at him. “Why are you wearing a big coat in summer? Are you homeless?”
“No.” Merlin scoffed. “Are you?”
The wind blew again and her hat fell out of Merlin’s hands and into her own.
It wasn't a coincidence.
It was magic.
She blew at the hat again, and it twirled onto her head.
She looked up at Merlin, and smiled at him knowingly.
Merlin smiled back, half in amusement that she would so blatantly show off magic like that.
“Sorry, man.” The man said once he caught up, putting his hands on the girl's shoulders and spinning her around.
Merlin huffed and moved on, but his heart felt like it swelled.
This was his legacy.
He continued his way home.
1972 - 40 years ago
Stories and fairy-tales always made Merlin curious, not because of the plot line or the characters, but the magic they possessed. The evil witch, or the superhero in comics. It was all make believe, he knew that, but in his dreams he could see himself with sparks coming from his palms, or feel the warmth of electricity that shot through his body, or the sensation of producing the most powerful spells, leaving him feeling exhausted and almost shaking.
But that was in his dreams. In reality, Merlin was obscure enough, but also totally normal. He never told anyone of these fantasies.
It was almost 4pm when Gwaine knocked on Merlin’s door to wake him up. Merlin promised he’d be ready to leave with the guys at 3pm but his bed was so comfortable, and the assignment he just finished this morning at 9am, which he pulled an all nighter for, made him so incredibly exhausted.
“Come on, you big baby.” He shouted outside the unlocked door. “Stop sleeping and get the fuck up. The guys are already getting in the car.”
Merlin moaned in annoyance. He didn’t even want to go on the trip so why are they so focused on making him? The whole stag do was planned straight after everyone’s assignments finished, Merlin’s being the last.
“Right, Merlin, I'm coming in.”
Merlin shot up so fast his head spun as he tried to straighten himself out before the door fully opened.
Gwaine stood, halfway through the doorway. A knowing grin formed on his lips as he lent his body against his outstretched arm on the doorframe. He wore his signature black, leather bomber jacket and bootleg jeans with a plain white top, or it would be plain if he washed it and food and beer stains weren’t scruffed all over it.
His hair was long enough now to sit on his shoulders, making the ends flick upward and creating a messy blowout situation. The girls loved it, so he kept it for attention.
“I've just finished packing.” Merlin wiped his face with his hands, half groaning in the process.
He jumped slightly as he didn’t expect a hand to the back of his head and Gwaine’s lips pressed quickly against his cheek as he walked past him to the wardrobe.
Gwaine didn't speak as he opened the door to his wardrobe and pulled out Merlin’s black Nike duffel bag he’s used for years. He used it moving out of the boys home, into boarding school in the last couple years and into university. Its gone on the whole journey of his life.
Gwaine threw it on the bed, Merlin sitting back down to watch as he pulled clothes from underneath clothes and threw them all into the bag. A graphic top with David Bowie that Gwaine bought him, a pair of sports shorts and another denim pair, alongside more random tops, socks and boxers Merlin couldn’t be bothered to oversee as he closed his eyes and threw himself back on the bed.
“Get up,” Gwaine’s Irish twang warned, taking Merlin by the arm and dragging him to a sitting position to face him. Gwaine crouched on the floor in front of him, flicking his head to get his hair out of his face. “Wake up and get changed, darling.”
Merlin smiled at him, and then it faltered.
“No, don’t do that.” Gwaine warned.
“What?” Merlin asked.
“You’re going.” He finalised.
Merlin groaned as loudly as he could, but as he went to, yet again, throw himself back on the bed, Gwaine caught his back and legs, lifting him in a bridal carry and whisking him into the air.
“Gwaine.” Merlin pushed at his chest to let him go but, alas, Gwaine worked on a farm in his spare days, hauling around heavy machinery and equipment, nothing Merlin would ever think of attempting to do. “Put me down.”
Gwaine did as Merlin asked, allowing Merlin’s feet to touch the floor and just about meet his eyes. Gwaine was slightly taller than the thin boy, and much bigger. His goofy grin made him look like a puppy most days, and the rest he was effortlessly flirting with the whole college.
“I’ll go on out, Lance has the car at the doors.” Gwaine picked up the bag he packed for Merlin. “Get changed.”
He closed the door behind him, leaving Merlin to stand in his filthy room, alone.
In his mirror he was just as lanky as always, perhaps more so since his exams stressed his appetite away. His cheek bones protruded and cheeks were sunken. As he took his dirty top on to put a slightly less dirty top on he noticed his ribs. Lancelot was the one to worry for him, making him food and setting it at his door, but never saying too much.
They’d talk about it behind his back; Gwaine, Elyan and Lancelot but quickly change the topic every time he walks into the room.
Merlin’s hair had grown longer than it should’ve, making him look like a typical getting-high, rock-listening teenager, yet he turned 21 three months ago. It just made him a getting-high, rock-listening 21 year old that looked like a teenager.
The car horn beeped, echoing around the empty car park and signally to hurry the fuck up.
Merlin threw on his shoes and left.
The car packed Lance as the driver, Gwaine in the back seat, Elyan beside, leaving the front seat free.
Merlin got in without a word, knowing it was his seat, immediately turning up the radio. Lancelot turned it down, staring at him with a smirk.
Lance wore his casual denim jeans, a pair he found once in the changing room in boarding school and stole, and a loose, green shirt buttoned low and sleeves rolled to the elbow. His hair was freshly cut, unlike anyone else in this time, and stubble shaved off. His chocolate brown hair which was usually good at staying in place but a couple parts falling over his forehead.
Merlin preferred his hair grown a little longer, he thought it made Lancelot look much hotter, but Merlin didn’t care enough to say.
Merlin raised his eyebrows in a question.
Lancelot’s eyes looked back, motioning to Gwaine.
Merlin looked back to Gwaine staring at them both with the most confused look, and Merlin noticed his bit of stubble was growing out. He looked better with it anyway.
Merlin couldn’t help but smile, rolling his eyes and turning the radio back up, “drive”.
Lancelot laughed loudly, starting up his junk car, ignoring Gwaine’s question. “What are yous on about?”
For the two hour drive, they forgot the assignments they believe they flunked, or Elyan’s girlfriend he just broke up with 2 days ago. The air was fresh, clean, and they laughed like they always did. Like they always had.
Lancelot, Gwaine, Merlin and Elyan met in boarding school, Lancelot and Merlin meeting before in the same boys house they lived in for orphaned boys.
Merlin attended the boys school in the second last year they were there, starting and completing his A Levels as they did, managing to get into Cardiff University. Only half of their year managed to get into a university nevermind the same one.
They looked after each other, mostly Gwaine going for physical altercations, sometimes Elyan too but Lancelot was a noble man while Merlin was always gentle and ‘too kind’ in some opinions.
Once they got to the house, Gwaine jumped out of the car as it was still moving to run to Leon and Percival.
It was Percival’s families’ holiday house they were using for the stag do - Lance’s stag do.
Once Lance stopped the car Elyan jumped out to greet them. Hugging Percy and slapping Leon on the back.
They all wore either denim or leather jackets with their denim jeans.
Merlin’s breath came out a little heavier than he expected.
“Thank you for coming, Merlin.” Lancelot started, turning his body to face him. “I really wanted you to come.”
“Of course I’m coming, mate.” Merlin smiled, though it was a tired one. “I wouldn’t miss the stag do for you fucking wedding.”
Lance huffed out a laugh. “I can’t believe it.”
“Yeah.” Merlin paused. “And, well… you’re sure?”
Lancelot had had this conversation too many times with people, Merlin knew that, but he also knew it was a huge commitment for two people so young.
“I love her.” He smiled, running a hand through his hair. “I love her a lot.”
Merlin smiled. He had never felt that. Not from a mother or father or anyone. The closest he had to love was his friends, and whatever the fuck Gwaine was to him. Casual boyfriend situation Thingy McThing.
“Lance! Merlin!” Percy called, all of them heading into the house already.
Percy and Leon came into the group in uni, both of them in the same corridor as Gwaine’s room. Gwaine picked a fight with Percy, caught Leon in a punch and they’ve stayed ever since.
The house was a huge log cabin in front of a lake surrounded by trees.
It was beautiful.
Chills flew down Merlin’s spin looking out the window at it.
It was the perfect summer day. The perfect time to be with people who loved and cared about him.
Within the hour, the barbecue was on and a burger was put into Merlin’s hands. Merlin had gotten used to small snacks he could barely afford, so an actual meal felt different to look at now.
“Merlin, how’d that final go?” Leon asked. He studied some sort of business/maths type shit while Merlin engulfed himself with ancient history.
“Fine, honestly.” Merlin spoke up after getting comfortable not talking for an hour. “I focused it on the ‘Night Ages’, it was really interesting researching it. Well, actually how little research there was about it.”
Gwaine groaned, but Leon sat forward.
“So, how’d you write so much, what… 20,000 words?”
Merlin nodded, painting a pained look on his face, getting a playful laugh from Leon. “I suppose I ended up creating a hypothesis from fantasies and myths.”
“Myths are an important part of history.” Lance cut in reassuringly.
“Absolutely.” Elyan said. “Stuff like the Arthurian legend-”
“Not this shite again.” Gwaine stood.
“Sit back down, you wanker.” Percy pointed. “What was the hypothesis?”
Merlin thought for a moment, creating the right way to explain his absolutely crazy idea.
“I imagine something went wrong. Something history didn’t want to show us.” Merlin looked at his feet, the nighttime was slowly entering in. “I think it’s something to do with the witch trials or the possibility that a generation of… something ended then.”
No one spoke for a second.
“You think I’m making this shit up?” Merlin laughed.
“Nah, no, I just can’t- I don’t know,” Leon scratched his head.
Gwaine stood up once more. “Boys I don’t know about you, or maybe it was the five beers I’ve had, but-” his white tank top came off, “I’m going for a swim.”
Percy stood, taking his shirt off too, along with Elyan and, begrudgingly, Leon too.
Lance and Merlin sat, watching as they took their jeans off and ran the couple metres to the lake.
“Well,” Lance said. “If we don’t get in willingly then they’ll come and drag us in.”
Merlin’s chest began to tighten. He never liked the water. In his two decades on earth he believed he’d been to the beach 3 times, and every time he barely dipped his feet in. There was something about it that made his body tense and head spin.
“Come on, just even go to your knees.” Lance sighed, heaving Merlin to his feet. “Are you alright?”
“I’m sorry, I’m being a bore.” Merlin ran his hands over his face and motioned for them to follow. “I’ll do it for you since your wedding is next week.”
Lancelot laughed and unbuttoned his shirt.
Merlin felt like he was walking to his doom. The pitch black water under the darker growing sky looked like a pit from hell.
Lancelot picked up his step, taking his jeans off and getting on into the water behind everyone else.
The thought of taking his clothes off alone made Merlin shiver, the thought of the water, not knowing what was beneath him made him shake.
He wrapped his arms around him and took his own jeans off.
No one paid any attention to him anyway, so he took off his top and looked up again to make sure they were definitely preoccupied.
He couldn’t let them see his scars without putting an explanation to them, something that Merlin didn’t have. He didn’t know where they were from. His memory stopped once he woke up in the hospital at 16.
Gwaine and Percy were taking turns putting each other under the water, while Lance swam up to Elyan and Leon floating and talking together.
“Come on, Merlin.” He whispered. “Come on, don’t be a fucking pussy.”
The water was freezing. He held his breath as it got to his knees, then his waist. He put his hands under.
“You gotta do it all at once, Merl!” Lancelot shouted.
The others were now watching him, then began chanting. “Merlin! Merlin!”
Merlin laughed, sucked in a breath and went under.
As he came back up, he heard the cheers but focused on getting his breathing back in order. In, out, in, out.
He went deeper, until his shoulder went under and decided that was enough.
Lance and Leon swam over, Elyan joining the game of race to the pier and back. It wasn’t far, but it was somewhere Merlin wasn’t going.
“Well done, sir,” Lance praised mockingly. Merlin screwed his face up in fake amusement.
“I think those beers are really working on me hey.” Leon laughed, “Think it may be about time I got out and went to bed.”
“I think I like how you’re thinking.” Merlin began to follow his trail, stopping once he heard Lancelot’s “NO-”
Hands grabbed Merlin’s waist, dragging him backwards into the water. Merlin kicked against them, trying to get his arms to swim him away but it was no use.
He turned around and grabbed on for his life.
“Come on, Gwaine, not the time.” Lance fought.
“Yeah, come on, bring me back,” Merlin half smiled but kept his grip on Gwaine as he carried him deeper into the sea. “I’m not a good swimmer.”
“I’ll teach you.” Gwaine smiled, his hands now found Merlin’s thigh, holding him up out of the water. Merlin’s body shivered again, watching as Gwaine’s smile turned into a cheeky smirk.
“Gwaine.” Merlin warned. “Don’t let me go.”
“I won’t.” Gwaine promised.
Merlin looked over Gwaine’s shoulder, seeing Lance and Leon watching him carefully.
But he couldn’t see Percy. They passed Elyan.
Merlin felt Gwaine’s body begin to swim instead of walk, still holding onto Merlin as he did, using only one arm to help his legs move through the water, while his other stayed on Merlin’s thigh.
“That’s enough now,” Merlin warned more seriously now, and Gwaine stopped as he was told. “Now, take me back.”
But before Gwaine even parted his lips, Percival emerged from nowhere and dunked them both beneath.
Sheer panic fell over Merlin, opening his mouth he tried to yell but his mouth filled with water. His arms flailed around, bringing his body back up, but then a hard kick to his head made his body feel weak.
Weaker.
The shock made his arms fail.
His panic turned to focus on water swallowing down his throat.
‘Help me’ he begged in his head.
Strong arms wrapped around him, around his waist and legs.
His head fell against hard metal.
His eyes wanted to close in the embrace.
He imagined the end but then cold air hit his body.
“Merlin!” Someone shouted.
There was silence as the feeling of water on his body slowly left and his skin broke into goosebumps from the cold.
The sound of metal, or chain-mail pricked into Merlin’s ears.
He felt safe. Cold, but safe.
“Merlin.” A man’s voice spoke from above him.
Merlin opened his eyes slowly, seeing his knees, a pale hand and arm in silver chain-mail wrapped around his legs, holding him up.
He was still being held in the air, even though he saw the ground beneath him.
He looked to the person holding him, shocked to see a metal breastplate.
He slowly turned his face to find a man with golden blond hair looking down at him. The moon shone behind him, making it hard to see the man's face, but he opened his mouth again.
“Merlin?” It sounded like a question, but one with surety and lacking clarity. “Merlin.”
“Ar-” Merlin stopped himself.
What the fuck was he doing?
Merlin threw himself away from the man landing on the ground, hurting his already sore head. He scrambled to a stand, the man holding a hand out, as if to steady Merlin.
He could see the man clearer now.
A chiseled face, handsome face, with a perfect nose, cupid's bow and cheekbones.
The man stood with an expression of disbelief, but a smile began to form against the creases of his lips.
“Merlin, it’s you.” He stepped forward, reaching for him again.
“Who the fuck are you?” Merlin asked, horrified.
And then Gwaine came running and hit the man over the head with a thick branch.
He went stiff and fell to the floor, face first. His armour made a loud rupture as it hit the stony lakeside.
All five of them looked from the man to Merlin.