Chapter Text
To watch the person you adore fade is painful.
To watch the person you love become a stranger is soul-crushing.
Katsuki stood by his car, watching, waving, ignoring the shook of his hands and the sweat forming beads of nitroglycerin in his palms.
Izuku had never looked so beautiful.
Izuku had never been so painfully dense.
The tears blur Katsuki's vision but it's not like anything he hasn't done before. He'd always been telling half-truths. Ever since that day. Ever since Izuku had seen the pain of the world and brought it on his own shoulders like Atlas had done. Ever since he'd realized how precious life really was. Scratch that, how precious HIS life was to Katsuki.
It was better.
It was smarter.
It was safe.
Him and Izuku against the world.
Or, so he thought atleast. The memory of sitting beside Izuku and seeing the look of pure adoration on his eyes while watching round face laugh.
Ochako Uraraka.
Curiousity and adoration were the emotions Izuku had portrayed watching the woman. Had blushed. Had felt something stop, if to indicate his sudden freeze.
And no doubt, as Katsuki's waving, Izuku is catching up to Ochako Uraraka with a blush on his face and something to say.
Katsuki is pulled into a hug by a drunk Mina and the rest of his friends followed. Hugging the blonde who everyone—but the dense motherfucking hero that is Pro-Hero Deku, Izuku Midoriya— knows is inlove with a certain green haired man.
He doesn't move away.
_________________
"Isn't this a little fast? You and Ochako only began dating in..what, a month?" Mina questioned, shocked at the invitation and sudden batch dinner made just to announce it.
Everyone mumbled but few only agreed.
Izuku rubbed the back of his head, a nervous smile on his face as he held Ochako's hand, three fingers covered in gloves to ensure she doesnt activate her quirk.
"Well, we've known each other for a decade now no? past a decade actually. What's the point in waiting, right?"
Ochako laughed nervously. "I really do hope everyone could come. A wedding is a wedding after all. It's..a milestone."
The crowd cheered, a first out of all of them to marry.
Few had gone pale.
"'m gonna go to the bathroom." Katsuki said as he stood up, but before he could leave the rented room,
"Kacchan!"
Izuku's voice called out. Katsuki stopped, turning his head a little as a response.
"You.." Izuku moved closer, intent. Eyes gleaming with excitement and anticipation. "You'll be my best man, yeah?"
Katsuki's heart dropped. He was so ready to say no when he began to see the doubt in Izuku's eyes.
The guilt of his past mistakes haunting him to the point of overdrive.
"It's okay if—"
"Sure. I'll be your best man." Katsuki said, headlock-ing Izuku as he protested. Ensuring that nobody sees the absolute despair in his eyes to watch the man he loves move to marry the woman of his dreams.
_______________
Katsuki groaned.
"It's your day. Wear the damn thing instead of your stupid fuckin' teacher tie. It's a special event ya' moron." He hissed, pushing the white three piece vest suit for Izuku to wear who wrung his hands in uncertainty.
Izuku bit his lower lip. "Isn't it tradition for the bride to wear white..?" Katsuki felt something in his head twitch.
"It's the fuckin' reception! If all of us are wearing the shade you want and have to stand out you wear the white shit! Gods!" He shoved Izuku in the dressing room with the vest.
________________
Katsuki placed the bottle of Jack Daniels on the table, can of coke on the side for the both of them. The dim lighting of Katsuki's apartment illuminated just enough to see each other and the table but not enough to brighten the whole room and see the other places in the house.
He sat on the floor, back to the couch as he opened the can, taking a swig. The subtle thrum of the ache in his head a constant.
Izuku hummed.
"Thank you for today, Kacchan. I made a really great choice making you my best man." Izuku said, pouring a shot of JD on another glass, then mixing it with coke.
A swig.
"Whatever nerd. I'm the best there is."
The best in anything you used to love. The best in your eyes before. The best person to have and love.
But he can't say those now can he?
Katsuki takes another swig straight from the bottle, uncaring of the pungent smell and burn down his throat, immediately drinking a bit of coke.
Izuku sighed, head leaned back staring at the ceiling as he sat on the couch.
"I didn't know planning marriage is so stressful. I might just take Denki's offer on a bachelor and bachelorette party." Izuku smiled at the thought, snorting.
Katsuki's lip quirked up.
"Who knew dunce face would get a license in event hosting ha?" Katsuki cackled. The swig taking longer.
Forget. Pain over remembering.
It's okay, he's in his house, with Izuku, the safest man there is. The very same man getting married to their batch-mate. The very same man he is in-love with.
Yeah, it'll all be okay.
"Hey, take it easy yeah? This stuff doesn't feel good, our takeout isn't here yet." Izuku reminded, grabbing a bottle of water from the mini fridge.
"'m fine. You're so stressful."
Izuku laughed. "Sorry, Kacchan. Take care of me until I get married?"
I'll marry you. I'll take care of you forever.
Katsuki swallowed it down.
"Who else'll make sure you don't look shitty at the wedding?" His voice too soft to be taunting. Izuku caught on. His posture relaxed and he smiled.
"Mm. Kacchan is such a good person."
Katsuki takes another long swig.
________________
Truly, being a best man was an honor. It hurts, he gets calls on random hours, Izuku would second guess every shit he tries but it allows him to selfishly add bursts of himself on the plans Izuku has for his future.
A trail, if you will.
A remembrance.
Recently as the marriage date comes near, Izuku becomes quieter. Right after their drinking session the day they tried on suits, Izuku had left the morning early and had been focused on Ochako for the days that pass.
The bachelor and bachelorette party wasn't done but there will be a small celebration with just their old class after their honeymoon.
Katsuki stared longingly at the chair of the best man. Below and on the left side of the groom.
That's where he'll be sitting.
That's where he'll watch as the love of his life watches him marry another.
His hand tightens around the envelope inside his pocket. How would Izuku react? How would he respond? Will he change his mind?
"Kacchan!" Katsuki's hand loosened and he turned, forcing his face to not show the inner turmoil he's experiencing. He hummed in response.
"Come on? We need a good night's rest for tomorrow." Izuku smiled, Katsuki nodded.
As they walked back to Katsuki's car, Izuku slowed his steps.
"Neh, Kacchan."
Katsuki tilted his head. "What's up?"
Izuku stared at Katsuki, watching his eyes. Looking for something. Assessing something.
Izuku's eyes portray a poorly hidden nervousness and denial.
"You'll come to the wedding right?"
Katsuki rolled his eyes. "What kind of best man would I be if I didn't?" Izuku laughed nervously, rocking on the balls of his feet back and forth.
"Will you stay for the reception?"
Stay longer. Watch longer. Break his heart longer.
"I'd probably stay until the toasts." He teased, knowing the flow of the program. Izuku huffed, glaring.
"Thats the first thing we do at the reception."
"I know." Katsuki grinned, hissing in annoyance after Izuku punched him in the shoulder.
"I'll make sure the toasts are last then." Katsuki sighed, laughing as Izuku walked away.
"Oi! I'm not letting you drive my damn Porsche!"
"Too bad!"
Katsuki huffed out a laugh, shaking his head.
The envelope in his pocket remains heavy.
_____________
"-Till death do us part." Ochako responded, tears in her eyes as Izuku desperately wiped his tear stained face.
Always the crybaby.
"You may now kiss the bride." The priest said, moving off of the podium for the photographer to capture their first kiss as a married couple.
Katsuki watched as Izuku shakily raised the veil to Ochako's head, hiding under it as well with a giggle and soon, a kiss.
The crowd cheered, Katsuki clapped louder than anyone else. That's his bestfriend adulting and getting married right there.
That's the love of his life with the woman of his best-friend's dreams.
Izuku picked up Ochako and twirled her around, their laughter loud and infectious. Izuku's eyes met Katsuki.
Katsuki wiped his stray tears and smiled.
________________
"And now, let's all welcome Mr. And Mrs. Midoriya!" Denki screamed into the mic, people clapping as they entered the venue in their elegant casual.
After that, the party came in full swing, party games, cutting the cake, message from the parents, message from the bride and groom, then began the messages from their closest friends.
"Izuku Midoriya's best man, Katsuki Bakugou!" He was announced, Katsuki shook his head. He wasn't going to say whatever he wanted to say infront of everyone else and ruin the mood. After the honeymoon, he'll talk to Uraraka, give her the envelope and let her explain to Izuku.
Just so Uraraka understands his point of view and doesn't harbor animosity for her husband.
"I'll tell them myself personally." Katsuki said once he was given the mic and most of his friends groaned in annoyance but he ignored them.
The toast began to stop the bit of awkwardness and Katsuki moved to the bar center.
In which after a few minutes, Ochako arrived.
"Hey, having fun?" Ochako began, nudging the blonde. He grunted, having gained a bit of fondness and respect to the woman who nearly beat him in the sports festival. "'m fine don't worry 'bout me Mrs." Katsuki teased and Ochako huffed.
"Izuku expected your message y'know?" She said.
Katsuki played with his glass.
She sighed, facing the blonde. "Katsuki-kun-"
"Ochako. I don't think I can attend your party after the honeymoon." Ochako tensed, jaw falling to indicate her shock. Her eyes found Izuku interacting with her family then back at the solemn Katsuki.
"He made that party. He planned all of it and made sure he had this little things that you liked so you wouldn't be forced to talk and drink the drinks you didn't like." Ochako said in exasperation. "Izuku planned it around you-"
Katsuki handed her the envelope from his pocket.
"Can we talk somewhere private?"
Ochako's hand tightened on the envelope and swallowed her nerves. She nodded.
Katsuki stood and let Ochako lead the way to a private area in the venue, closing the door for the balcony, ahe faced him.
"What is this about?" Ochako asked, voice low.
Katsuki leaned on the railing, looking over the horizon as he downed the last of his drink. "It's my truth." Ochako followed, leaning on the rail while looking at Katsuki for an explanation.
"What truth?" Katsuki placed down the glass, crossing his arms.
"That I'm letting go."
Ochako's breath hitched.
"...what are you talking about..?" She began, envelope beginning to crumple in her hand.
"You know already. I've wanted for Izuku and I to keep chasing each other forever as heroes and hero partners," Katsuki huffed out a sarcastic laugh. "What I'm telling you know is the same content of the envelope. I just don't have the guts to tell him that I may or may not have implied that forever romantically."
Katsuki blinked, glancing at Ochako who was pale as a ghost, one hand over her mouth.
"You-"
"But alas, I've always been doing things too late for Izuku." Katsuki smiled, strained. "The very thing I want for him now is.."
He wiped the stray tear from Ochako's shocked face.
"All I want from him now is to know that it's okay. I wanted to spend more time being each others north star but from now on...I would want him to live happily in the way that he wants. With you. I'll be okay." Katsuki said, grinning strained at Ochako.
Ochako's heart dropped.
"Ochako-chan, it's okay. I felt like I wanted to talk more with Uraraka-san. From now on, more and more. I lived how I liked. My beloved Ochako-chan, please live how you like even more... even more."
Toga's voice echoed in her head, the dream that night replaying.
In that moment, instead of Katsuki, all she saw was Toga.
She slammed onto Katsuki, sobbing as she hugged him tight. "What will you do now? You're still his special person, I swear. Katsuki-san-"
Katsuki rubbed her back.
"...I accepted Edgeshot's offer for the International Hero Licensure. It'd keep me busy and away enough to move on." She pulled away, staring at Katsuki in the eyes.
"The IHL out of all things? That's a suicide mission! You won't have any vacation, you'll never be home, you're always on the go and disaster after disaster are what you're going to deal with!" She gasped, nails digging into his arms.
He nodded.
"Atleast my mind will be off of him and I won't trample on your marriage. Ochako, there's a few things I have to ask of you." He didn't wait for Ochako to protest. "Keep him happy. Love him as you grow, give him the envelope and tell him that you don't know where I am. I'm sure the news will tell him enough. Be happy with him, Urara-ah. Mrs. Midoriya."
Ochako cried in his arms that night.
_______________
"S-So, Mrs. Midoriya. Uhm." Izuku swiftly swiped the roses on the booked bedroom. making space. "Honeymoon?"
Ochako blinked at him, then smiled, small, hesitant. "Mm. Honeymoon." She nervously stepped close to him, hand on his chest as she tiptoed to kiss him.
Yet.
Yet as she does so, no warmth entered her heart. All she felt was hollow pain. The anguish and guilt of losing Himiko. The guilt and regret for Katsuki.
"Izuku-kun.." Izuku noticed. Hesitating, he sat her down on the bed and then sat next to her. "What's wrong..?"
She bursted out crying.
"I'm so sorry. Please don't regret any of this." Izuku laughed nervously.
"Of course I wouldn't Ochako-chan.. What's this about..? Let's..not do it tonight, you seem tired. You can have the warm water, I'll fix up the bed so we can sleep."
Ochako nodded and decided to freshen up as Izuku removed the swan and roses on the bed.
______
Cuddling on the bed, Izuku kept switching channels while waiting for Ochako to begin speaking.
"Izuku-"
"Hey! It's Kacchan!" Izuku sat up, grinning at the TV excitedly. "What heroic deed had he done this time hm.."
Ochako went silent, Izuku failed to notice as he turned up the volume.
"-the announcement shocked and excited many with the the chance to meet The War Hero; Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight. Bustling about across countries in pursuit of his International Hero License! Oh for a chance of meeting the Bombshell Bachelor." The news reporter stated, swooning.
A crackle sounded as Ochako yelped, the remote in Izuku's hands bent and cracked, his hand bleeding from the sharp plastic.
The brunette rushed to grab a med kit, calling the hotel service for another remote. As she held Izuku's bleeding hand, Izuku began to speak.
"Neh, Ochako. I heard it wrong right? It didn't say International Hero License, right?" Ochako didn't respond.
Izuku grabbed her wrist with his other hand, eyes manic as he searched her eyes.
"...did you know about this?"
She stared back.
"You knew. You knew and you didn't tell me. You didn't let me stop him-" Ochako used her quirk on Izuku, floating him to the ceiling.
Izuku yelped, frustrated as Ochako grabbed something from her suitcase. She released him onto the bed.
He fell, eyes focused on the envelope. "What's that?" Ochako moved it away from him.
"Let me fix up your hand first, then I'll give it to you." Izuku begrudgingly nodded.
As she began patching him up, he couldn't help but ask.
"How long?" Ochako's bandage tightened. "Was it before the wedding? During? After?"
Izuku remembered.
"Was it when you said he went home with a puffy face? The reception?" Ochako looked away from the bandaged hand.
Izuku held her hand with the other. "Ochako please." He begged, tearing up. "Kacchan can't- he said he'd never accept that offer. He won't have a permanent home. He's always on the move and he's the frontline on every fight, he's gonna end up like-"
"Just..Just read this. It's from him." Ochako said, grabbing the envelope and handing it to Izuku.
He felt dread.
"Ochako-"
"It's what he asked of me."
Izuku swallowed his pride, opening the envelope, the letter a page long.
He began reading.
"To my dear, Izuku,
I never thought I'd write a letter non-professionally but forgive me for my cowardice. I couldn't bear to see your face contort in disgust as I tell you my truth. I honestly don't know where it started, it could've been as I watched you grow into an independent hero, a capable symbol, or since our childhood when I began to care deeply for you. It only solidified for me to see it after the war. My sweet, heroic, beautiful Izuku. Willing to stay smiling while mourning the loss of One for All. I decided then to make your hero suit no matter how long it took. Money wasn't a problem as long as I got to give you your dream. Or, what have been your dream.
You've grown, changed, matured and have lived a life I don't understand, enjoying your profession of instructing over being on the field. I do not wish to guilt you into using the suit, It's yours to use when you want after all. It's a gift. And yet a part of me had hoped selfishly that once you get your dream back, you'd be my Izuku again too. The one dreaming to compete and be like All Might. A symbol. A savior.
I waited. Gave out hints for you to join my agency or at least Kirishima so we could compete for the number one, have each other on our side, You and I over everything else. I was unaware that the dream became one sided. That I was the only one left chasing for it. I've decided to make myself forget and move on from such, after all, I can't bear to see the man I love be by someone else's side.
Yes. Love. I'm inlove with you, Izuku. Have been for the past decade. But I don't hold it against you or Ochako to be married. I only wish for you to be happy. To know and be remembered as a good chapter in the book of your life is more than enough love for me to go through this process of moving on.
Love her, Cherish her, Fulfill your duties as a husband. I yearn for nothing but the best for you. I love you. Let's see each other someday, Izuku.
Yours forever,
Kacchan."
Ochako hugged him as the paper crumpled in his hands, sobbing not even halfway from the letter, calling out, eyes too blurry.
"Kacchan..Ochako- Kacchan.."
He sobbed, screaming as he shook his head, unbelieving of what was written and where they had ended up.
After all, Izuku himself had never said his truth.