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The rather soothing noise of my alarm echoes through my tiny studio, on the fiftieth floor of some skyscraper somewhere in Cebu. The large, clear windows of my apartment clearly allow me to take the view of the dark sky and the limited traffic of the road as I open my tired eyes. It's five in the morning —it only made sense, the world has yet to wake up.
But sadly, I have and with whatever little hope possesses me, I push myself off the bed and head to the bathroom, where I spent forty precious minutes in. While showering, I rehearse my speech and while I brush my teeth I practice making my stern faces, the ones I use while trying to seem composed, thoughtful and in charge of every situation.
I'm an attorney after all, a divorce attorney at that. Nothing too glamorous about divorces, if you compare it with criminal cases and whatnot, but the money is good, and I've made a name for myself in the space. I have my own firm and all, with my name in large, intimidating letters and a bunch of employees fighting to win my support and attention. I've somehow managed to establish myself as a celebrity divorce attorney, and I usually only manage rich people and pathetic celebrities, who go to court and fight over some hundred billion won, not even caring about their poor traumatized children, who they never cared to raise on their own. No matter how sad that is, they are the reason I am who I am today, and the ones that help me transform myself from a mere assistant from a foreign country, to a superstar attorney. The money is good, and I do enjoy being in court - it was my dream all along.
"Miss Lim," the voice of my assistants sounds through the door, she's here to pick me up for one of the most important cases in my career. "The car is waiting for you."
It isn't exactly the case that is important, not really, just some Samsung heir divorcing his creepily young wife, it's my opponent. I usually never sweat about who I'll face in court, but this particular woman is something else. Not only is she the youngest, most brilliant attorney awarded by some stupid - but truly precious - awards, but she has the visuals of an angel, that accidentally slipped God's hands and forcefully landed on Earth, from where she could never find an escape, and had to settle with living by the pure mortals' lives. Her sharp eyes that never fail to send chills down my spine, and her thick lips that never smile, have me losing my focus and spilling all my important documents on the court floor, and her scent, oh her scent. I could never put her scent into words, it's expensive, but sweet, but asserting and dominant. It's everything I need to just... attack her. In a sexual way, of course. I mean, in a sexual way that is consensual, you know. I would never force anyone to do something they're not comfortable with, you see, we, I mean, Maraiah Arceta and I... You know, it's hidden, it's forbidden, it's a secret. You know, I... Well...
Hah, fuck, I'm at a loss for words again. Even the thought of her brings me close to a breakdown. So imagine my pleasure when I have to face her in court time and time again, day after day, client after client. Not only is she the most angelic creature to ever walk on earth, but she's also the most competitive and strict, and successful, and perfect attorney ever.
But, I'm better. I should be. Because I, too, am competitive and stubborn, and we have a battle going on. The one with the most case wins will fulfill the others' biggest desire - whatever that could be. And I'm one win away from winning my ultimate desire, the most perfect dream to have ever been implanted in my head and in my heart, a successful proposal. If I win this case, Maraiah Arceta can not deny me anymore. She will say yes, and she will marry me, finally breaking us free of all this hidden romance we have going on. By saying yes, we no longer have to pretend we despise each other in the courtroom, only to have heated intercourse after, in the break room, but we'll finally be free to express our true feelings, without being scared of getting caught by some judge in the toilets of the courthouse. She promised me she'll say yes, that she'll devote her life to me, and allow me to be a part of her busy life. Only if I win today... Only if.
"Good job today, babe." Aiah panted, as I pushed her on the walls of the courthouse bathroom cubicle. Her pencil skirt was pushed up and her freshly straightened hair was dangled between my fingers. "Yet, I still have way better odds against you. You need to step up your game."
For someone so lost in pleasure, she sure knew how to yap about how good she was at her job, and how she had beat me so many times in court. Nothing could make my angel shut her mouth, not even the unholy things I did to her, after having just lost to her in the court of law.
"I love you," I mumbled, in awe of her beauty as she chased her own pleasure, dreams and unicorns. "I wish you could be mine forever. I wish that we could stop hiding this from the world."
I wanted to cherish her, let everybody know how much I love her, and give her the moon and the stars. I wanted to sleep and wake up with her, shower and eat with her, drive to work with her, and face her in court, knowing after each case is over, I won't only have faced my biggest opponent, by also the love of my life. Spending each and every moment of my day with her, even if we are being pitted against each other, is something I long to have.
"I wish you could marry me." I told her, foolishly, just before she reached her own end. Her face contorted in a way I had never seen before, it surely wasn't pleasure —that was something I had seen many times happen. It was more like hesitation, annoyance, even. I wasn't sure, but I felt a knot in my stomach, and the movement of my hands slowly came to a halt. For a second, we both were quiet, just catching our breaths, without breaking our love embrace, or adjusting our positions against the cubicle wall. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."
Aiah opened her eyes, her big, brown orbs that I grew to love. Her hand came atop of mine, nudging it ever so slightly. As a cue, I continued the motions I had previously halted, and she closed her eyes again. A sigh of relief bubbled from within her, and her head rested on my shoulder. "Say, if you beat me at the end of the year, I'll make your wish come true." she said, chest heaving up and down, as if she was running a marathon. "But, only if you beat me."
A beam of sweat trickled down my forehead as my hand started shaking. I panted along with her, enjoying watching her come apart by my mere touch. "And what if I don't?" I asked foolishly and she took a moment to reply. Her muscles stiffened, and she sucked in a breath, limbs starting to give out. She was close to her cloud nine, and I was close to getting an answer. An answer I could potentially regret hearing. Nevertheless, I waited, as my secret girlfriend arrived in her Ithaca, and collapsed in my arms, panting in pure pleasure and joy.
"You'll make my wish come true." she simply said, gathering her garments from the floor.
"Good morning, miss Lim." The voice of my client brought me back to present times.
I never learned what Aiah's wish was. We never spoke about that naughty evening in the bathroom stall ever again, or what was said inside of it, either.
"How are you feeling, Director Kim?" I asked, accompanying my client to the courthouse. Today was my chance to beat Aiah, and claim my wish. We were even. And by winning this freaking bastard his unimportant billion won against his ex-wife, I could have a wife of my own.
He chuckled in a rather off-putting way, in a way you couldn't imagine a Samsung heir would chuckle. He brushed his thinning hair to the side and pushed his glasses further up his eyes, as he smiled cheekily. "Pretty confident." he said, pushing the doors to the hall open. "I have nothing to be afraid of, when I was such a wonderful attorney by my side."
Director Kim was the type of man that hated women being better and more successful than he is, which is why he couldn't stand his wife, and framed her, accusing her of stealing his Samsung shares and money. He was one of those off-putting men that brought a weird, icky aura along with them. Director Kim was just another man, whose only accomplishment was being born in a conglomerate family, and who never had to fight for anything in his life. Just a man who thought he owned everything in the world, including women, and that he could do anything to them without facing any consequences. And, sadly, he was right. Not once would he ever be apprehended for his shitty behavior, not now, nor ever. He would just move on with his life, with no regards to other peoples' feelings, or what is truly wrong or right. Rich people don't feel. They don't need to do so, at least.
"Let's get this going then," I chuckled, the most fake chuckle of my entire life, as we were being seated down. In all honesty, I only cared about getting my so deserved win, and selfishly, I couldn't care less about teaching director Kim a lesson. Not today. Not when my dream of marrying Aiah Arceta was on the line. "I won't let you down."
Soon, the judge appeared, and we all stood. It was way too early to be peeking at my opponent, but I couldn't help myself. Each time she spoke a little too loud, or when she used her hands in an exaggerated motion to prove her point, I caught myself staring. Aiah, on the other side, seemed completely focused, as if I meant nothing to her, as if I was just another attorney she had to face in the courtroom. She was calm, composed, spoke clearly, and had her whole defense planned out perfectly - just like she always did. Her client sat satisfied by her side, with a smug look on her face, and only looked into the eyes of the judge, as Aiah completed her part.
And then it was my turn. In the most important hearing of my career. And I felt confident, I really did, but as soon I saw her sitting down, with her skirt riding up her thighs, I lost the little self-control I had left. How could a girl make me lose myself so easily? How could she have me stumbling on my words and struggling to form coherent thoughts? She was just a girl. Just another attorney I had to face. Yet, when it came time to stand my ground against her, I completely and utterly came apart - melting like a cone of ice cream on a hot June day.
"Objection!" Aiah Arceta interrupted me, raising her hand. I must be going too crazy that I went off script, and mumbled my way into some trouble. The judge furrowed his eyebrows, sustained the objection, apprehended me, and let me continue. Not that I had much to say, especially when my speech was slurred, and my mind was like a pot of boiling peas - seething and bubbling with eagerness. Director Kim moaned beside me, he had brought his hands to his face, rubbing his chin in an attempt to soothe. The longer I spoke, the worse job I did at helping my client, and I couldn't tell what was wrong. I had faced Aiah in court before, it wasn't that I couldn't stand across from her and do my job, but on this specific day, something had just gone terribly wrong. Maybe all my worries and insecurities were being projected into the way I defended today, but I didn't matter. I had a case to win, and a goal to reach.
Although, it seemed too late.
Director Kim cursed under his breath as the judge announced his verdict. His hands balled into fists, and the moment the judge dismissed us, he bolted out of the room, without even looking back. I had messed up, lost the case, and dissatisfied my very rich, very famous client. Yet, it was the last thing I cared about at that moment, as I let my eyes trace the figure of Aiah, shaking hands with her own client.
As I watched her, every sound became muffled, and every other object blurred out of my vision. I could only look at her, and her polite and charming smile, as she was chatting with her client and assistant. This was a very big win for her client, but for her too, yet she didn't even turn to throw a look my way — not even a boastful look, a playful smile, or even a glimpse of her attention. My eyebrows twitched in distress, what I had fought so hard for, had just slipped from my buttery fingers and fell onto the ground, squashing like a Halloween pumpkin that accidentally fell from the carving table. My insides were all sprawled onto the floor; my vulnerability, my dreams, my hopes, my life, just like the insides of the pumpkin, and Aiah just completely dismissed them, not even caring to help me clean them off the floor, as she walked outside with her client.
"Are you alright?" my assistant spoke, firmly shaking my shoulder. I had been stuck in the same position for God knows how long, while the whole courtroom had emptied and security was trying to get rid of me.
"Yeah," my bubble snapped, and I picked up my stuff. "Just zoned out a bit."
And I walked out defeated, with my bag in one hand, and my assistant on my side. We didn't speak. The poor girl didn't even try to utter a word as she kept up beside me. Usually, I would be very chatty, no matter the outcome of a case. I talk a lot, and especially when I'm mad that I lost. Though today, it's not anger that I'm feeling. It's incompetence, an incompetence I always seemed to have, but tried to deny and shrug off. But sadly, it came back to bite me in the ass, and prove me I'm not good enough. I'm still not good enough for Aiah, and I'll never be. No matter what I would ever do, I could never be competent enough for her to devote her life to me. Not because she doesn't want to, but because I don't deserve it. Such a precious life as her own, should never be wasted at the hands of a person like me. Aiah Arceta has been, is, and will always be out of my league.
"Ack!" I screeched, as a hand grabbed onto my arm and pulled me into a dark hallway of the building. It seemed to be a closed off part, that we weren't allowed to be, but I didn't have time to process anything. When I opened my eyes that I had previously tightly shut, my face was nearly pressed up against Aiah's.
"Sucks to be you," she said, mocking me, without regard of any honorifics, or caring if she hurt my feelings. "Looks like you still can't beat me."
Her voice was sharp and boastful, but hid the tiniest bit of playfulness deep into it. Her small smirk and the way her eyes travelled from my eyes down to my lips as she spoke, and her tight grip on my body, reminded me of the first time we had ever been this close.
Another lost battle. It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, these past few months have been incredibly shitty for me. The reflection of my face in the bathroom mirror revealed someone, who I've never seen before. She looked like me, but surely wasn't me. Tired eyes, full of anxiety and stripped of any shine. Hair burnt from straightening them too much and roots that should've been redone at least two weeks ago. Lips chapped, dehydrated, and smudged mascara. This wasn't Mikha Lim. This was an impostor.
Mikha Lim was strong and confident, always sharp and polished. The disheveled reflection of this pathetic woman in the mirror surely wasn't me. It couldn't be me.
"Better luck next time." a voice spoke, and the water from the faucet beside me began to run. It was a quiet, yet boastful voice that echoed in the walls of the bathroom for annoyingly long, almost mocking and humiliating me.
I looked up, turning my head to be met with a slightly taller woman. Brunette, in a suit, with perfect straight hair and an irritating smirk on her lips. A young-ling. The young-ling that had just demolished me in court. Yet, no matter how many times we had been pitted against each other, I had never noticed how beautiful she was. Only now, that my confidence had hit rock bottom, broken into pieces and fell down the sink's drain, I realized how intimidating this woman's visuals were. It almost made my heart pound. Almost.
"Only if you're ever lucky to fight against such a hot attorney like me." I said, attempting to sound cocky and unbothered — to no avail, of course. On the contrary, it was simply cringe-worthy, gut-wrenching, appalling.
The woman chuckled, and the water stopped running. She meticulously dried her hands, discarded the papers, and turned to face me. She looked at me for a while, as if checking to see if my statement was truthful or not. Her eyes studied every little detail on me, from my appearance to deep into my soul. Or that's how it felt like with her big, brown orbs staring me down.
"Hm," she hummed, thoughtful and reached out her hand, as if to touch me. I froze, heart thumping loudly, but didn't move away from her. I just wanted to see how she would go along with it, not expecting her long, slender fingers to grab my chin. She held my face in her hands for a moment, observing, while I held my breath. Or at least tried to, without much success, since I could see my breath brush against her eyelashes. "That's true."
Her statement was short, but enough for my heart to flutter. She abruptly dropped her hands from my face and walked out of the bathroom like nothing ever happened. And I stood there, dumbfounded and flushed, not knowing that I would be seeing her very soon and that each time we met from that point on, we would be lustfully having sex in the same bathroom.
"I swear, Aiah. I'm really not in the mood right now." I sighed, laying my head on her shoulder. I really needed her embrace at the moment, but that needed embrace also brought me a sense of pain — a hint of disappointment for not being able to fulfil my biggest ever wish of marrying her. "I tried so hard on this, just to make my dream into a reality, only for me to fuck it up because you were so pretty."
Aiah chuckled, I could feel the vibration of her laughter through my body. At that moment, I almost melted into her embrace, my heart filling up with pretty, colorful flowers that bloomed at the sound of her laughter. And the more she laughed and kissed my head, the bigger the garden in my heart grew.
"So, you're saying that I wasn't pretty all those times you beat me." she teased, her own head resting on top of mine. Even if I wasn't looking at her face, I knew she was smiling. Aiah was reserved and never showed big reactions, or big emotions. But her smiles were always big, bright, and sweet.
I gasped, pulling from her embrace to look into her eyes, panicked. "No, no, I didn't mean it like that at all, I-" I hyperventilated, tightly holding onto Aiah's hand. "Of course you're always pretty. You're the most talented, and perfect and pretty girl in the world, and since you won today I'm supposed to fulfill your biggest wish. So, tell me, what is it that I can do for yo-" I said, in one breath, almost passing out.
Aiah's smile dropped, and she let go of my hand. She looked at me for a split second, as I yapped and yapped, almost turning into Slim Shady. I couldn't tell if I had offended her or not, or why what I said was so bad. I mean, I really didn't mean it like that, of course she is always pretty and perfect. I love her, every single second of every day of every month of every year of every decade of every century. She is the woman I want to marry, the woman I have helplessly fallen in love with, the only person I have eyes for, and that I-
"Baby..." I called out as Aiah walked away, without uttering a word. She suddenly just left me, all alone, to call out for her. "Where are you going?"
She never replied, just put her hands in her pockets and exited the hallway. She walked idly, with her head high, just like she had walked out of the bathroom on the day we first interacted outside the court.
Time stopped, all the memories we had made together flashed before my eyes. I couldn't even fathom how we had gotten from embracing each other, to her just leaving like that. My heart broke at each step she took, and I could feel my knees shaking. Why could I never make anything work? Why must I fail at everything? How could I be so useless all the time? Of course, just like I mentioned earlier, I would never be enough for someone like Aiah, and she finally realized. That's why she's walking away like that.
"Actually," Aiah's steps halted, but she still kept her back turned to me. "You still haven't fulfilled my biggest wish, since I was the one to win the bet."
Her voice was low and held no certain emotion. I couldn't for the life of me decipher her emotions from the way she stood and spoke. Her every word and move was perfectly concealed, like a camouflaged soldier in a battlefield, and only revealed their true meaning whenever she wanted to.
"What is it, my love?" I asked, desperately running behind her. I could feel my eyes watering and lips trembling. This woman had complete control over me and my emotions. "You know that I would do anything for you."
Aiah turned slowly. The look on her face was what I expected it to be; blank, cold, merciless, just like the one she has when she's working. Her eyes trailed from my watered eyes to the hands that I had outstretched to her, but she said nothing. She simply took her hands out of her pockets and dropped to her knees.
"What are you-" I nearly screamed as her one knee touched the ground and her right hand held out a tiny, black box out. "— doing..."
The blank and cold face of Aiah shifted in a single moment. Her eyes softened, and her eyebrows raised, as a small smirk tugged on her lips. Her outstretched arm shook as she tried to gather her courage to speak — something quite unusual for Aiah. Her voice trembled as she looked up into my eyes pooled with tears, and she, too, teared up.
"Will you fulfill my ultimate wish and marry me?" she said, and the box in her hand opened to reveal a pretty ring. "Since I won the bet, you have no choice."
Tears streamed down my face and I fell on my knees, knocking over the ring and throwing myself in her embrace. My dripping mascara stained her perfectly ironed, white button-up shirt, but neither of us could care any less, as we hugged on the floor.
"I don't want to hide our relationship from the world either," Aiah spoke again, but in a whisper this time. "I want to show you off, like you deserve."
"Oh God," I cried and cried, burying my head deep into my lover's shoulder. "I'm so glad you beat me today."
Aiah laughed the loudest I had ever heard her laugh, and reached to pick up the ring I had knocked off of her hands. She blew on it, and gently rubbed the little diamond on top of it, as if to clean and polish it. She handled it with such care and love, just like she did with everything in her life, and presented it to me, beaming, as if she was a little child receiving presents on Christmas day.
"So," she smiled, a tear rolling down her cheek. I held her face in my hands and wiped her tears, as she spoke. "Will you marry me?"
It was so funny, two divorce attorneys falling so hard in love and marrying each other. Serving divorces at day, living married life at night. At that moment, as I looked at her, I promised we would never be like the clients we worked with all day. I promised to myself that we would never need a divorce attorney of our own, and that we would spend the rest of our lives next to each other, through the good times and through the rough patches. Looking at her pretty brown eyes, I promised I would work twice as hard to be someone Aiah deserved to have by her side. I promised to be her wife.
"Of course I will."
end.