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I Promised You The Bloom

Summary:

Jihoon is always next to Dohoon, cracking jokes and keeping him company. But he’s never in front of him, never forcing eye contact, never demanding answers. So Dohoon remains unaware while Jihoon keeps pretending that being close is the same as being let in.

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The next part of Dohoon's love life begins when he goes to Jihoon's dance studio. Intending to wait for the young man, Dohoon met Jihoon's senior instead, Taesan.

Taesan is a fine man with a fit-looking body. Although not as tall as Dohoon, he was still much taller than Jihoon. His face didn't look like a local and he had a firm jaw. Honestly, seeing that kind of good looks made Dohoon feel a little envious.

"Are you going to enroll here?" Taesan asked when he saw Dohoon walking back and forth in front of the studio. "Why don't you just come in?"

Hearing that, Dohoon immediately denied. "No, thank you. I was just waiting for someone."

Actually, Taesan could have just ignored him, but the man preferred to lean next to Dohoon. "Who are you waiting for?"

"It's Jihoon, one of the dance instructors here." Dohoon's eyes glanced at the watch on his wrist, realizing he'd been standing outside the studio for almost an hour. "He said he'd be done soon, but it seems he needs more time."

For a while, Dohoon's nervous chuckles didn't get any response from Taesan. Until Dohoon felt intense stare as the man was actually observing his face, then a small smile appeared on his lips. "Are you two dating or something?"

“Ew, no. We're just friends!“ Dohoon never expected such a question to ever ring in his ears. Awkwardly, Dohoon waved his hands. "We just promised to have dinner together."

"It's good, then," the first time Taesan said that sentence, Dohoon had no idea what he meant. Taesan turned his body until he was now standing in front of Dohoon. "Then, can I invite you to eat together next time?"

"Would you like to join Jihoon and I for dinner?" It was a sincere invitation, Dohoon had no problem establishing a new friendship.

But the soft laughter that escaped Taesan's lips as well as the way his hands gently caressed the muscles of his arms made Dohoon come to his senses.

"No need, next time. I just want the two of us."

The man was apparently hitting on him. And Dohoon was too stunned to say no.

 


 

"You and Taesan, seriously?" Jihoon gave him a disappointed look. The guy put both hands on his waist, lost for words. "When did you guys start seeing each other?"

Dohoon glanced at Jihoon for a moment before resuming his activity of applying a lipbalm on his lips.

"Two weeks ago, when you made me wait for you for almost an hour," Dohoon said in a terse tone, still feeling the remnants of irritation everytime he remembers that night. "Taesan started texting me a lot after that day."

"And you never told me?"

"I didn't know you'd whine like this," Dohoon snorted. His feet stepped closer to the wardrobe, picking up two hangers before showing them to Jihoon. "Which one do you think looks better?"

Jihoon rotated his eyeballs lazily. Dohoon wasn't really paying attention to his speak. So Jihoon also just randomly pushed one clothing onto Dohoon's chest, without really intending to give his honest opinion.

Damn, Dohoon looked really pretty in that cropped leather jacket. Of course, Dohoon looked beautiful in anything. Realizing that made Jihoon even more annoyed for no reason. Maybe it was jealousy, Jihoon didn't understand either.

"Can you help me with this?" Dohoon handed him a hair gel. "Because you do it better than I do."

The man even styled his hair to impress Taesan. Jihoon grabbed the gel in annoyance but did as he was told.

"Can you make it slicked back? I want my beautiful forehead to be shown." Dohoon said as he played with his hair in front of the mirror, looking for some styles he wanted to try.

Jihoon wasn't impressed. So all he did did was doing everything Dohoon told him half-heartedly.

"Does it look good on me?" Dohoon looked up, giving Jihoon a hopeful look.

"You look like shit."

Dohoon gave him a silent side-eye, watching Jihoon's annoyed face from the mirror. He knew Jihoon didn't mean what he said, anyway.

After Dohoon finished with all the preparations, Jihoon was lying on the bed. His fingers were busy scrolling the screen of his cell phone without interest.

"You'll stay here?" Dohoon asked for confirmation. Jihoon had stayed at his place so many times before, so Dohoon wasn't worried at all about leaving his place in Jihoon's hands.

"Where else could I go?" Jihoon replied without taking his eyes off his cell phone. "I live alone, I'm bored to death, my family is far away, I don't have many friends. The only friend who's always with me is busy dating another friend of mine."

Dohoon growled at all that nonsense. He knew Jihoon was being skeptical of him.

At first Dohoon was about to ignore him and just leave. But just as he closed the door, his hand immediately opened it again and his steps brought him back inside.

He looked irritatingly at the dead-rat lying on his bed, unimpressed.

"Hey," Jihoon finally looked up from his cell phone. A little surprised to see that Dohoon hadn't left yet. "Do you want to tag along?"

There was a spark of excitement running through his body that Jihoon had to struggle to hide his smile. "Can I?"

Dohoon looked doubtful. "I don't think Taesan will mind, do you?"

Of course Taesan would. Dohoon was just trying to give himself a false excuse.

 


 

The date went more pleasantly than Dohoon had imagined. Maybe it was because Taesan and Jihoon had been friends for a long time, or maybe it was Jihoon's familiar presence that made it easier for Dohoon to open up. The three of them spent time going to the movies, playing billiards, and having dinner at a Japanese restaurant.

On the other hand, Taesan also looked more relaxed than during their previous dates. Dohoon could feel it from the way he teased him —joining Jihoon, of course, or how he threw in more jokes in a more friendly way.

Or when playing billiards together, Taesan didn't hesitate to scold him (jokingly, of course) for being so bad at the game. Eventually Jihoon had to teach Dohoon again although it took quite some time until Dohoon actually managed to get his first win.

Everything was fun and great if Dohoon didn't realize that since that day, Taesan had stopped contacting him. The one time Dohoon initiated to contact him first, he got the impression from Taesan's response that the man would prefer if the two of them just became friends.

Another bad ending for Dohoon's love story.

Dohoon will always remember how Jihoon laughed at him after he told him about his and Taesan's failed relationship. Even though the man comforted him in the end.

That night Jihoon took Dohoon around the city. Enjoying the breeze and the night sky lit up by the lights of tall buildings. When the two stood at a railing between the street and the river, Jihoon put his hand on Dohoon's shoulder, looking at him carefully.

There was tenderness in his voice when he said, "Are you still thinking about it?"

Dohoon didn't respond at first, his eyes focused on the water that was moving around, forming slight waves although it still looked calm. It was exactly how he was feeling at that time.

When Dohoon turned his head, Jihoon's gaze was still fixed on him. The two looked at each other for a few quiet moments.

"I was just thinking that I wasn't made to live a romantic love story like everyone else," the man whispered without covering his discouraged voice.

Noticing the sadness in his fried's voice, Jihoon pulled Dohoon closer. "Should I comfort you by saying the right person will come along at the right time?"

Dohoon snorted. Distancing himself from Jihoon though not letting go of his embrace. "No, thanks. You're just saying it to mock me anyway.“

Dohoon put both hands on the guardrail, pressing his body against it. Jihoon could see the calmness in his eyes, not unlike someone who had just had their heart broken.

In his heart, Jihoon knew. Taesan had never been inside that little head. Maybe it was just the hollow feeling Dohoon had been feeling for so long that made him feeling low again.

Or maybe Dohoon was missing that person again. Missing the old part of the story that he still remembered occasionally on a sentimental night like this.

Jihoon had always been a person who is good with words. But he knows Dohoon finds the comfort through physical affection. So he lifted his hand that was originally in Dohoon's shoulder to Dohoon's head, ruffling the soft hair. As always, Dohoon responded it by pulling away and giving a side-eye, despite a fondly smile formed in the corner of his lips.

Both spent the rest of the night like that, letting the cold wind swaying their hair only by standing next to each other. One time, Jihoon bumped his body closer, playfully annoyed the other.

He hoped that small gesture could reach him, make him feel Jihoon's form of affection.

 


 

One weekend day, Jihoon was already standing at the door of Dohoon's apartment with two suitcases behind him. Rubbing his sleepy eyes, Dohoon looked at Jihoon lazily.

"What is it this time?"

Without waiting for Dohoon to let him in, Jihoon had already stepped in.

"I sold my apartment for my new dance studio. But since the building is still under construction, I'll be staying here."

Dohoon looked at Jihoon with an, are you kidding me look. But seeing that the other one was already laying down casually on the sofa, it seemed that he was being serious.

Sighing heavily, Dohoon also sat down on the sofa, his hands scrubbing his face roughly. "You really do everything as you please."

"I only have you," was Jihoon's go-to answer whenever Dohoon protested.

Their arguments always ended in the same pattern. Dohoon who complained but never really refused, and Jihoon who got anything he wanted. Despite that, Jihoon always made sure to be the first one to help Dohoon when he needed help.

Two months isn't particularly a long time, but living with Jihoon —literally 24/7 under the same roof, left Dohoon with a lot to deal with.

First, the things Dohoon once used alone gradually became his. No matter how many times Jihoon denied it, Dohoon could still smell him on his jacket. The shampoo that used to last forever was suddenly disappearing too fast. Or when Jihoon forgot to turn off the AC after leaving the apartment.

But what made Dohoon deadly angry was Jihoon leaving the sofa every night and waking up in the same bed as him every morning. The problem was, Jihoon moved too much in his sleep. That big body would end up crushing Dohoon, forcing him awake with aching bones.

“Why even bother going to the sofa,” Dohoon said one night, watching Jihoon pretended going to the living room with his big pillow. “You always end up in my bed anyway.”

“Are you serious, or are you warning me off?” Jihoon asked, one eyebrow raised.

Dohoon sighed. He patted the empty space beside him. “Come here. Stop doing something pointless.”

Jihoon obeyed happily like a puppy. He’d never liked sleeping alone on a cold sofa anyway, except when his mother forced him to sleep at his relative’s house.

“You know I wouldn’t say no just to be polite,” Jihoon said shamelessly. In the next second he was on the bed, acting like it belonged to him.

He lay on his side, one arm as a pillow, the other scrolling through his phone with the brightness dimmed. His legs weren’t straight like a normal person’s. One knee bent, the other foot resting on it. If the person beside him wasn’t Dohoon, he would’ve been kicked already for taking up too much space, and for making Dohoon want to punch his face just by looking at him like that.

They were both still on their phones even after the lights went out. Only a dim, reddish-yellow glow came from the small lamp Dohoon kept on his nightstand.

“You know… about what the others said in the group chat?” Dohoon knew Jihoon wasn’t asleep yet, but he hadn’t wanted a late-night talk. Especially not about something he’d been avoiding. “Kyungmin said it’s a cafe near here. Are you going?”

“I don’t know about me,” Dohoon said, almost losing his voice. “But you have to go.”

Dohoon was serious. It’s the time Jihoon has to stop following him around like a lost duckling. Since his first break up, everything Jihoon did was stand in his shadow. Sometimes Dohoon was grateful, it showed Jihoon was a good friend, that he’d always be there in the hardest moments. But at the same time, Dohoon could feel how much Jihoon missed the other, how he held himself back just to respect Dohoon.

“I’ll only go if you go,” Jihoon said stubbornly. Dohoon glanced over and found him already looking. They held each other’s gaze for a quiet moment before Dohoon looked away.

“Don’t be childish. You don’t need to be by my side all the time.” Dohoon didn’t realize how much that careless line stung Jihoon. And Jihoon didn’t know Dohoon said it for his own good. Dohoon wanted Jihoon to stop holding back from seeing their friends just because of him.

“So you’re not going?” Jihoon pressed.

“I still need to check my work schedule.” Even though Dohoon gave a reason, Jihoon knew it was just an excuse. He understood his best friend too well.

The conversation died there. Dohoon grew sleepy, and not long after setting his phone down, his eyes closed. Soft breathing filled the room.

Jihoon, beside him, had no intention of sleeping. His mind was too loud for dreams. He rolled onto his side, facing the friend who was already sleeping peacefully.

Dohoon didn’t know it, but ever since moving in, Jihoon often stole chances to watch him longer once he’d fallen asleep. That was also why Dohoon always found Jihoon in his bed every morning.

Like all the nights before, Jihoon stared at that face again with a look he couldn’t name. There were so many things he loved about it. He loved Dohoon’s long eyelashes, how they twitched sometimes when his thick brow furrowed, like something was happening in his dream. It made Jihoon want to reach out and smooth the crease with his thumb.

He admired Dohoon’s sharp nose. Those features looked so fitted in him. He loved how Dohoon’s breathing was rough but steady, with a little gap between his lips. So different from when he was awake, when those lips created much nonsense and chaos. When he sleeps, Dohoon looked calmer, and that calmness warmed something inside Jihoon. It reminded him of the first time they met, back in school.

Had Jihoon ever said that Dohoon was his first love?

No one knew that part. Correction, no one would ever know, because Jihoon never opened up to tell anyone about his hidden, forbidden feelings.

Dohoon didn’t know how he’d made Jihoon’s blood rush the first time he spoke to him. It was only the third month after Jihoon moved to a new school following his parents. He couldn’t make friends yet, but Dohoon didn’t hesitate to sit with him in the cafetaria.

“Why are you looking at my food? You want to try some?” was the first thing he said, despite not knowing who Jihoon was.

Turned out, Dohoon was known as a troublesome kid who’d like to make a scene everywhere. Skipping school, getting kicked out the classes, very loud and a social butterfly. Despite never being in the same classes, Dohoon’s name was everywhere. Jihoon didn’t realize that he liked it little too much when Junghwan, his current close friend for being his classmate in two years, introduced Jihoon to him on their third year.

One night, they had a sleepover at Hanjin’s villa and Dohoon stayed up with him, helping him study for finals. Who knew Dohoon was this good at studying too and somehow, that was unfairly hot. At one point, Dohoon reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Jihoon’s ear, brushing it away from his eyes. Jihoon’s heart tripped, then raced.

Dohoon didn’t even try to flirt. He didn’t have to. That pretty boy was naturally good at everything, and Jihoon couldn’t pretend anymore. He stopped fighting it and finally admitted the truth to himself: he’d fallen in love with Dohoon.

Unfortunately, just when things felt sweet and easy between them, Dohoon found his first love. And it wasn’t Jihoon. He was another brilliant student, a very close friend of Jihoon. They started as rivals and ended up falling for each other like teenagers in love. Watching Dohoon look ten times happier with Junghwan, Jihoon decided to kill his own feelings. Both Junghwan and Dohoon had already given him too much. He didn’t deserve to ask for more from them.

Junghwan and Dohoon dated for a long time, until Jihoon almost forgot his feelings completely.

Until suddenly their relationship wasn’t sweet anymore, and Jihoon watched Dohoon’s happy face turn to confusion, worry, then heartbreak. Seeing Dohoon get hurt was the last thing Jihoon ever wanted. And before he could admit it again, he already knew he’d do anything to make Dohoon happy again.

But after being Dohoon’s best friend his whole life, changing that felt impossible. Especially since Junghwan is his friend too, even before he started dating Dohoon. Jihoon couldn’t even imagine, not even in his dreams, being anything more to Dohoon than his friend.

Jihoon was still watching Dohoon’s sleeping face, now turned toward him. Sometimes he wanted to cross that line. Ignore the fear and follow the instinct to reach out and touch the beautiful face in front of him. His gaze slipped to Dohoon’s nose, then his lips. This wasn’t the first time he stared too long; he swore he’d done it many times when Dohoon talked too much. Sometimes he imagined he could shut him up by kissing him stupid.

Realizing his thoughts had gone too far, Jihoon swallowed hard, pained. He forced his eyes shut because he didn’t know what else he might imagine if he stayed like this.

That night, in his dream, Jihoon wasn’t afraid to kiss his best friend. So later, in the morning, he woke up at dawn with a strange, burning feeling in his body.

 

 


 

 

In the end, Jihoon decided to go to the reunion with his friends, even without Dohoon.

He saw how Hanjin was already sitting and waiting for him when he arrived. Turns out they were the same; they always came too early. Not long after, Kyungmin walked in. Call Jihoon a good observer, but he noticed a strange spark on his eyes. He wouldn’t be surprised if one day he announced he’d been dating someone right now.

The main characters arrived last. Junghwan and Youngjae walked in hand in hand, and the room erupted, mostly Kyungmin who’d always loved to tease them.

“Congratulations on your engagement!”

Kyungmin had somehow gotten his hands on a birthday party horn and blew it the second the couple reached them. Hanjin playfully punching Youngjae’s shoulder to tease him.

Jihoon felt himself detached from the scene. His mind was full of Dohoon, who’d refused to come because he couldn’t bear to see this. No matter how hard Dohoon tried to lie to himself and say he’d let Junghwan go, Jihoon knew Junghwan still held a special place in his heart; one that made it almost impossible for him to control his feelings. Or maybe it was because years ago, they’d all celebrated the same way when Junghwan and Dohoon officially started dating on Dohoon’s birthday.

“So loud, and the engagement isn’t even for another two weeks,” Youngjae said, pulling his friends back from teasing him too much.

“It’s been so long since we all got together like this. How are you, Jihoon?” Jihoon’s thoughts snapped back when Junghwan greeted him. “So hard to get a meeting with a busy man.”

Jihoon realized he’d been avoiding them, all just because of Dohoon. But he couldn’t stop worrying, couldn’t stop being afraid that Dohoon would feel abandoned by everyone. Even though, in truth, Dohoon was the one who’d walked away from them.

“I’m good. You won’t believe it — I just built my own dance studio.”

“Really?” Always, Kyungmin looked the most excited, though everyone seemed to light up. “Don’t we have to celebrate that?”

Everyone agreed. But Jihoon cut in, “Next time. Today belongs to Junghwan and Youngjae.”

“Jihoon’s right,” Youngjae said. “We can throw a party for the studio later. And when that day comes, I want all of us there. No excuses.” Youngjae’s words carried a quiet longing for someone who wasn’t here. Jihoon understood what he meant, because Youngjae had been Dohoon’s friend first. Technically Dohoon was the one who brought all of them together in the first place.

“Of course, Youngjae. No one will be left out,” Jihoon answered. Then the conversation moved on to Kyungmin talking about someone he liked at work, and then to the two engaged couples talking about planning their engagement party.

Jihoon wished he could listen properly. But it felt impossible when his mind kept going back to his best friend, who was probably sitting at home feeling guilty for not showing up. More than Dohoon himself, Jihoon knew how that small, stubborn heart of his always worried about other people more than himself.

“How’s Dohoon? Is he okay?”

Jihoon glanced at Junghwan. Of course he’d ask about Dohoon now that it was just the two of them at the table. Kyungmin had gone to the toilet and Youngjae was ordering food along with Hanjin. Maybe Junghwan had stayed on purpose, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“He’s fine, the only reason he isn’t here is because he’s genuinely busy.” For some reason, Jihoon heard himself answering from Dohoon’s point of view, and it came out a little defensive.

“Of course, Jihoon. I didn’t say he was staying away for any other reason.” Junghwan kept his tone casual. “I’m just asking because you two are still close, right?”

Junghwan would probably have a heart attack if he knew Jihoon was living in the same apartment with his ex, even if it’s only temporary. The thought made Jihoon feel a little smug, and he hated himself for it.

“I remember you two were together the last time we met. Have you guys kept in touch all this time?” Junghwan kept going, and Jihoon became more sure that maybe it wasn’t just Dohoon, maybe Junghwan still carried a little extra care for him too. Or maybe that was natural after spending years as lovers.

“We still talk. My studio is close to his office. Sometimes he treats me to meals, and we go out together a lot. Aside from that, Dohoon really is fine. He’s just busy.”

Junghwan nodded once. “That’s a relief. I was afraid Dohoon had cut himself off from all of us.” Junghwan’s guess was almost right. Dohoon had pulled away from everyone except Jihoon.

“Don’t worry. Just like us, Dohoon’s all grown up now. He’s not that kid in a school uniform and backpack we used to know.”

“Do you think he’ll come to the engagement party?” Junghwan asked, worry written all over his face. Jihoon couldn’t tell if he meant he wanted Dohoon there… or didn’t.

“Of course. We’re all friends, aren’t we?” Honestly, Jihoon wasn’t sure. He’d probably have to drag Dohoon there himself to make him show up.

Junghwan didn’t ask anything else because Youngjae and Hanjin came back. After that, no one else asked about Dohoon so openly. Maybe they were all holding back, afraid of ruining the mood. The gathering ended at ten when Youngjae and Junghwan left early to take care of something.

Jihoon got back to Dohoon’s apartment at half past ten, a little sleepy. He was already imagining a hot shower and crawling into bed when he turned on the light and found Dohoon’s body lying on the floor. Jihoon’s heart slammed against his ribs and panic shot through him. He rushed to him and tried to wake him.

“Dohoon, hey, wake up…” But the body didn’t respond. Feeling how cold Dohoon’s skin was, Jihoon started shaking. Then, as he tried to lift him, his eyes caught a medicine bottle he recognized. He immediately hoisted Dohoon onto his back and carried him to the car, speeding to the hospital. “What stupid thing did you do this time, Dohoon…”

He drove fast, desperate to get to the hospital.

 


 

“Are you alright?” Jihoon was on his feet the second Dohoon opened his eyes, cupping his face and going weak at how pale he looked. “Why the fuck did you take my sleeping pills?”

Dohoon looked fragile, his eyes barely open. But his lips still formed a curse. “No more putting sleeping pills in a vitamin bottle, you fucking dipshit.”

Jihoon’s vision swam as he realized his own stupidity for placing the sleeping pills into a vitamin bottle. Even knowing it was his fault, he had no intention of apologizing.

“You took so many pills, idiot. That’s why you passed out like that.” You scared me to death, Jihoon thought. He never said it out loud. He just felt grateful Dohoon could still open his eyes after taking that many.

“It wouldn’t have been dangerous if they were actual vitamins.” Dohoon wouldn’t back down, and their arguments had become normal by now. Even though Jihoon often sounded sharp, the truth was he usually gave in because no matter what, Dohoon was more stubborn than him when they fought. “Why the fuck did you put the pills in that bottle?”

“So no one would know I take sleeping pills.”

“Oh, of course no one would. Especially when you didn’t even try to hide it and just left the bottle somewhere easy to see in my apartment.”

Jihoon looked at him, deadpan. “Don’t be sarcastic.”

Dohoon rolled his eyes. “Have to, when I’m with you.”

Dohoon complained a lot for someone who’d just woken up in a hospital bed with pale skin. But Jihoon wasn’t going to protest honestly, he loved every word of it. Since he went to college until he owned his own dance studio right now, Dohoon had been the only one who filled that space.

“So, why were you taking sleeping pills? You never told me about this.” Dohoon asked once his anger softened. Jihoon could hear the worry in his voice, see it in the way he looked at him. If he could, Jihoon would want Dohoon to look at him like that forever.

“Bad insomnia. But it hasn’t been as bad since I moved in with you.”

Jihoon wasn’t lying. He started feeling sleepy faster when he was in the same bed as Dohoon. Even just watching Dohoon sleep brought a calmness into his chest that made him want to close his eyes without reaching for another pill.

“You should’ve told me,” Dohoon said, guilt flickering across his face. He doesn’t have to feel sorry. Because Jihoon nothing really gets worse because of his insomnia.

Especially because once Dohoon knew, he became a little more attentive to him. Dohoon had always been a caring friend. But lately he’d been treating Jihoon so, so well.

“No need to move your pillow anymore, just put them in the fucking bed.”

That was the first thing Dohoon said after Jihoon finished his bedtime routine. Jihoon, happily, climbed onto the bed and claimed the half that should’ve been Dohoon’s.

“Have you drink the banana milk I bought you?”

Oh, and don’t forget how Dohoon started slipping banana milk into every grocery run because he’d heard milk helped people sleep. Jihoon never said anything, just drank it obediently, because every small thing Dohoon did for him made his chest ache in the best way.

“Hm. It helped me somehow.”

“Good. Now close your eyes.” Dohoon treated him like he was four years old, and Jihoon snorted softly even though he loved it. Sometimes he had to cover his face so he wouldn’t laugh stupidly, afraid Dohoon would get offended and stop doing these things for him. “Need me to cuddle you to sleep?”

Jihoon felt his blood rush and his heart drop. He held his breath, staring at Dohoon who asked it so innocently.

“You’re joking, right?”

Dohoon grinned like an idiot. “Obviously, dummy.”

Jihoon didn’t know how to feel disappointed properly. But he couldn’t erase the image of him and Dohoon falling asleep in each other’s arms.

That night, Dohoon fell asleep first again. Jihoon spent half an hour watching his sleeping face before he let himself drift off too.

 


 

The engagement party for Youngjae and Junghwan finally arrived, and somehow, Jihoon had talked Dohoon into coming with him.

To be fair, Jihoon always won when it came to convincing Dohoon. He didn’t even like admitting how good he was at it. Maybe it was because they’d known each other forever. Or maybe it was because Dohoon was hopeless at saying no, and Jihoon was just the right kind of stubborn. Either way, he’d done it again, he’d brought Dohoon to the one party he’d been dreading most.

“You’re okay, right?” Jihoon asked quietly before they stepped out of the car. He’d seen Dohoon take a calming pill before they left. It was such a small thing, but it still made his chest tighten. Especially after finding Dohoon on the floor a few days ago. “Promise you’ll tell me if anything feels off.”

Dohoon glanced at him and laughed, soft and fond. “You’re starting to sound like my mom.”

“Of course I do,” Jihoon rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched. “I just wish you’d listen to me as much as you listen to her.”

Dohoon didn’t answer. He just slipped out of the car and walked off, leaving Jihoon to scramble after him. A few seconds later they were side by side again, walking into the hotel where Youngjae and Junghwan were about to say their vows.

“Oh God, Dohoon!” Kyungmin was the first to crash into him with a hug. “I can’t believe you’re actually here!”

Hanjin stood next to him, grinning just as wide, and pulled Dohoon into a hug too. Jihoon slid in beside them, and suddenly the four of them were huddled in a little corner of the ballroom. Shoulder to shoulder, bumping elbows, pretending they weren’t nervous. All of them waiting for the main characters of the night, Youngjae and Junghwan.

When Youngjae and Junghwan arrived, Youngjae went straight to him and wrapped his arms around Dohoon. Dohoon smiled so wide as he hugged him back.

“I’m so glad you’re here today,” Youngjae whispered to Dohoon, so soft Jihoon almost didn’t catch it. But he was standing right beside him.

“Of course I came. This is my best friend’s day.”

Jihoon couldn’t stop watching Dohoon’s face. He expected him to hide the ache like he always did. To smile and pretend it didn’t hurt.

But Dohoon’s smile was blinding. Beautiful. So honest it made Jihoon’s chest ache. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Dohoon smile like that; soft, warm, real.

Jihoon froze.

Was Dohoon always this beautiful?

His heart started beating too fast, too loud. He had to sneak his hand closer, just to feel like he was near, afraid his heartbeat would give him away to the whole room.

And for the hundredth time, Jihoon realized he was falling in love all over again.

 


 

The dinner after the party was inevitable. Jihoon kept checking on Dohoon, over and over. “Are you okay? Are you nauseous? Do you want to leave? Run away? Go home?”

But every time, Dohoon brushed him off with an annoyed frown. “Can you stop? I’m fine, how many times do I have to say it?!”

Jihoon didn’t believe him. Not for a second.

“Should I tell them we have plans after this? So we can leave early—”

“Please stop, Jihoon. You’re being so extra tonight.” Dohoon crossed his arms over his chest. Right now they were standing in front of the restroom, arguing about something Jihoon could feel and Dohoon refused to understand.

“You don’t have to force yourself.”

“And you don’t have to act like you know how I feel.”

Jihoon closed his mouth. Quiet.

Dohoon looked serious, and Jihoon didn’t understand why he was being like this. A small, selfish part of him kept hoping Dohoon would need him. Lean on him. But seeing Dohoon look so fine without him made it hard to accept. Made him lie to himself all over again.

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s definitely something wrong with the food today,” Dohoon muttered, yanking a tissue out with too much force, still pissed off.

“How much longer are you two going to be? The food’s already here.”

Kyungmin’s voice from down the hallway cut their fight short. The three of them walked back to the table, now full of fancy dishes.

Jihoon couldn’t hide it. His face was all twisted up. But Dohoon looked worse. He was cutting his steak with way too much anger. Jihoon couldn’t stop watching every reckless little move, so in the end he just pulled Dohoon’s plate toward him and swapped it with his own.

“Watching you do that makes me mad too,” Jihoon mumbled by way of excuse.

Dohoon scoffed. But he didn’t push the plate away. He didn’t reject the steak that Jihoon had carefully cut into perfect pieces.

“Always meddling,” he grumbled under his breath. Then he took a bite. Still looked mad.

Jihoon pretended not to hear and turned to Kyungmin instead.

“So, you’re dating someone right now?” he asked, right on target, watching Kyungmin almost choke.

“What kind of question is that?” Kyungmin got defensive instantly.

“So that’s a no?” Jihoon teased. His radar was too sharp tonight. He was sure Kyungmin wouldn’t slip past him.

“You look way too panicked, Kyungmin. Just admit it already.” Junghwan jumped in to fan the flames.

“Oh, his face is redder than this oyster sauce crab now.” Youngjae wasn’t going to miss his chance.

“Why are all of you ganging up on me?” Kyungmin protested. Hanjin just laughed, watching his friends act exactly the same as they always had.

“Then find me a boyfriend.”

The chaos went dead silent in a second. Dohoon, who’d just swallowed his meat, suddenly made a request that left everyone staring.

“Everyone’s dating. What about me? No one’s finding me a match?” Dohoon’s eyes weren’t quite focused, and he’d probably just downed a whole glass of whiskey.

“He’s drunk,” Hanjin mumbled, trying to smooth things over while everyone was still stunned by Dohoon’s unexpected outburst. The second Hanjin reached for his own glass of whiskey, someone snatched it and drained it in one go. “Oh, that was my—”

That someone was Jihoon.

And he didn’t stop there. He set the glass down hard enough for it to clink loudly against the table.

“What’s the point of getting a boyfriend anyway? As if you’ve even moved on.” Jihoon’s words sounded reckless, unfiltered. Especially on a night meant to celebrate Junghwan and Youngjae’s engagement.

Dohoon looked hurt. He slammed his hand on the table and pointed at Jihoon, ears and face burning red from the alcohol.

“Shut up! You’ve never even had a boyfriend, so you don’t need to move on!”

Jihoon laughed, sharp and bitter. His common sense was halfway gone. He didn’t care who else was in the room anymore.

In his head, all he could see was Dohoon. Dohoon. Dohoon.

“What do I need a boyfriend for when I already have you?”

Dohoon opened his mouth to yell back, then snapped it shut. His brain still had just enough space to process what Jihoon said.

Jihoon was the same. He felt completely drunk, but he knew exactly how big the words he’d just said were.

“I knew it would end up like this.” Youngjae sighed and looked at Kyungmin. “Kyungmin, can you call a driver for them?”

Kyungmin nodded.

And the two people at the center of it were already too drunk to fix the scene they’d just made.

 


 

The car hummed with the engine’s loud, restless noise, but no one spoke.

Dohoon leaned his head against the seat rest with his eyes closed, maybe asleep, maybe pretending. Jihoon stared straight ahead through the windshield, looking like the main character of some sad music video.

Then a heavy sigh broke the quiet.

Jihoon glanced over. It was Dohoon. He wasn’t sleeping, even with his eyes shut tight.

“What did you mean?”

Jihoon pretended he didn’t hear. He pressed his forehead harder against the car window.

“Hey, Han Jihoon.”

Jihoon closed his eyes. Braced himself for a conversation he couldn’t run from anymore.

“Hn.”

“What did you mean by what you said before?”

Jihoon couldn’t lie anymore. Couldn’t bury it. The plot twist has been revealed and Dohoon looked too restless to let him keep hiding.

“You can forget it if that makes you comfortable. It’s not too late.”

Dohoon scoffed. “Do you think I’d be asking you now if that’s what I wanted?”

Jihoon gave up pretending. He finally turned to look at the man sitting right beside him. Facing him fully.

“Will it burden you? If you know how I feel?” Jihoon was more scared of Dohoon overthinking himself into stress than he was of rejection.

“Do you like me?”

Jihoon had no escape left.

“I like you.”

“How?”

Jihoon could’ve said so much. That he’d liked Dohoon longer than Junghwan ever had. That he liked Dohoon even when Dohoon was with someone else. That he liked him today. That he liked him even on the days Dohoon did all the annoying things he hated.

“It just happened,” was all that came out.

“Is it because we’ve been spending so much time together?” Dohoon seemed to be guessing. His brow lifted in curiosity, his lips caught between his teeth from nerves, one hand rubbing over the other. Jihoon didn’t miss a single detail.

“No,” Jihoon decided to look away. “I think it’s because I feel at ease when I’m with you.”

“Ah…” Dohoon pretended to understand. “I think I get it.”

Jihoon bit his lip, holding back a smile with everything he had. In his heart, he swore Dohoon looked ridiculous with that know-it-all face. Adorably ridiculous.

“What are you thinking about?” Jihoon narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

Dohoon didn’t even realize he’d been biting his own finger this whole time.

“I think I understand. Besides, I’m pretty cool-looking, right?”

Jihoon pressed his fingers to his forehead. “You’re driving me insane.”

Dohoon bumped his shoulder lightly. “I know. I’m charming.”

Jihoon shook his head, not believing a word of it.

But secretly, he was relieved. Even if Dohoon didn’t return his feelings. Even if he didn’t give him any answer that meant anything. Dohoon looked okay. Jihoon was grateful his feelings didn’t weigh him down. He knew Dohoon was still making peace with his own heart.

And he knew they had time. Time to see how this would grow, if it would bloom or fade with the wind. Whatever happened, as long as Dohoon stayed by his side right now, Jihoon didn’t need anything else.

 


 

Epilogue

 

“So this is what you were talking about back then?” Junghwan looked at Youngjae with a smile he was trying to hold back. The man who was going to be his husband rested his head on Junghwan’s shoulder and nodded slowly. “I can see it now.”

“They’re so adorable.”

Junghwan watched Youngjae press a sheet mask onto his face, focused and gentle. “How were you so sure from the start?”

Youngjae stared up at the hotel ceiling, a soft smile forming as he remembered something.

“Do you remember when I talked to Dohoon that time?”

“When? After the reunion he didn’t show up to?”

Youngjae chuckled. “That’s not wrong. It was obvious even then. But I’d already suspected it long before that.”

“Really? Did you see him again before that?”

Youngjae looked like he wanted to flick Junghwan’s forgetful forehead, but instead he ended up brushing his thumb over his fiancé’s cheek, soft and fond.

“When we came back from Boston.”

Junghwan’s gaze drifted. “That was a long time ago.”

“It was.” Youngjae laughed, light and bright. “When I saw Dohoon always watching Jihoon, even while he was complaining about him, the thought came to me. I imagined how perfect they’d look if they ended up together.”

“He did?”

Youngjae nodded.

“Then what about Jihoon?” Junghwan sounded curious now. He hadn’t realized his fiancé was this attentive, this good at knowing their friends. “How long do you think he’s liked Dohoon?”

“Dummy,” Youngjae teased, lips curving into a smirk at Junghwan’s cluelessness. “Jihoon’s probably liked him longer than you can even imagine.”

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