Archive of Our Own

It had been three months, two weeks, and five days since Tyler had said goodbye to Josh at the airport.

He hadn’t done much since then besides cry, stalk Josh’s Instagram, cry some more, stalk Josh’s Snapchat, cry again, eat his feelings, cry even more, then repeat the cycle. He barely touched his keyboard. He felt untethered without Josh, now that his best friend was in LA, living a far better life than Tyler. Partying. Meeting others. Drinking, smoking, all of the things that Tyler wasn’t brave enough to try for fear of that fucking genetic predisposition to addiction.

Having sex was a big thing in LA, apparently. Tyler had only had himself and his right hand for the larger part of two years. His last girlfriend was ages ago, and Tyler wasn’t a hookup kind of guy. By the looks of Josh’s Snapchat stories, Josh had turned into one. 

There was always a person in bed with him, faces covered by a hasty scribble. Snapchat sabotage, said the caption. Josh was doing just fine without Tyler. There were sometimes men with him, sometimes women, sometimes ropes and handcuffs visible in the photos, and Tyler really didn’t need to know this shit.

Tyler had just woken up at seven in the morning. He’d had a long day of letting his muscles atrophy from the lack of movement the day before, and had gone to bed early, though he never really left his bed in the first place. He was doing the morning rounds: Josh’s Instagram, Josh’s Twitter, Josh’s Snapchat, repeat. Sometimes he threw in a quick scroll through their old texts. Just to spice things up. Add some excitement to the routine. 

There was a blurry photo of some kind of club lights in the preview for Josh’s private Snapchat story, and Tyler sighed and clicked on it. He watched the video in full, watching with narrowed eyes at the shaky camera footage. He couldn’t recognize a single face. Josh was with new people every day, as if rubbing his new life in Tyler’s face.

He tapped the screen to skip to the next story. And he nearly dropped his phone when he locked eyes with a fully erect penis, pubes trimmed, and it took less than two seconds for Tyler to realize that it was fucking Josh’s.

He couldn’t look away, though, like a car crash. But the car was Josh’s dick, and Tyler was the oncoming car, fully fucking involved. Or maybe a hit and run? Because now Tyler had to keep going with his life knowing that he’d witnessed this, and he couldn’t tell a soul. 

Should he tell him? Tyler slid up on the story and debated sending an awkward text. Hey man, don’t think you meant to post this. He chewed on his lower lip, staring at the empty textbox, watching the cursor blink. He swiped down so he could see the photo again. Then he swiped up. He did that maybe seven times before deciding not to do anything about it. He’d let Josh figure it out himself, because as much as Tyler would love to help Josh preserve his dignity, he wasn’t about to admit that he saw anything in the first place.

He stared at it again. He felt like a kid in health class again; torn between screaming and running away, or just staring with wide eyes until the timer decayed.

And— dear God.

Josh, lying on a bed, his hands above his head, the silver glint of metal handcuffs just visible where his phone screen cut off. His face was red, the curls of his hair plastered to his temples and forehead with sweat. His eyes were barely open, his mouth too. The red blush went down to the middle of his glistening chest. Whoever had taken this photo had been straddling Josh, the camera pointed downward, but not so far down that anything below his navel was visible. Not that it mattered. The first slide had left nothing to the imagination.

Fucking Christ. Tyler went back to the first slide. He’d seen Josh’s cock before; not ever this erect, though. And never in this context. This had been posted just three hours ago, at around five in the morning, so that was… two for Josh? The time difference was three hours, and Tyler’s brain was slow. And Josh was having sex at two in the morning on a Wednesday. Why the hell not.

Why the hell not, Tyler’s brain said, as he cupped his balls through his boxers, holding his phone in his left hand.

Why the hell not, his brain said again, as he spat in his right hand and pushed his boxers to his thighs, sitting up against the headboard. He wrapped his hand roughly around his cock as he flipped between the two images. Josh. Tied up. He looked so blissed out in that second image, and Tyler could imagine the sounds he made. He’d heard Josh getting off a few times— it was kind of inevitable, living in such close quarters— but Tyler managed to tune it out, mostly. The moans, pants, and strangled breaths were difficult to forget.

Why the hell not, his brain said one last time, as his hand moved faster and he closed his eyes, his phone slipping from his grip, his back arched to the ceiling. 

What the fuck is wrong with you, said his brain, as soon as he’d come down from that high.

Wiping his hand on the bedsheets he should definitely wash as soon as possible, he picked up his phone from where it had been lying face down in his comforter. The story had timed out, moving on to his next friend’s story, but Tyler clicked back again. And there was Josh, restrained. And then there was Josh’s cock.

Tyler wished Snapchat didn’t send a notification whenever someone screenshotted anything. He wanted to save this. 

What the fuck is wrong with you. Tyler shook his head, turned off his phone, and threw it as far as he could. It hit the wall beside the closet doors with a thunk. Tyler stared at it in horror.

He’d just jerked off to his best friend’s nudes. Whether they were consensually posted or not, that was fucked up.

He washed his bedsheets, face reddened the entire time, shame so strong it made his shoulders collapse inward. 

The shame lasted all of three weeks.

It was one in the morning when Tyler’s phone went off. He had his ringer on, a special ringtone, just for Josh. Just in case Josh needed him. Josh never needed him. They hadn’t talked properly in ages, Josh was just too busy for Tyler, and Tyler never reached out. He knew his place. He knew he took a backseat to Josh’s LA friends, or hookups, or whatever. He was second best.

His heart was pounding as he slid his finger across his shattered phone screen to answer the call. 

“Hello?” he said groggily, sitting up against the headboard.

There was a party going on, the sound muffled slightly by… something. Laughter. Music. The thump of a bass, too overpowering to even recognize the song playing. But Tyler put his phone on speaker and turned the volume up all the way.

“Hello?” he asked again.

Josh was talking. Tyler heard him, a slur to his words, a conversation directed to someone else. Tyler sighed. This wasn’t the first time Josh had butt dialed him. He should’ve known. He let himself get his hopes up, let himself feel wanted, but this was nothing but an accident. Dejected, he was about to hang up, until a sentence Tyler had never heard come out of Josh’s mouth echoed from the speaker.

“He edged me for like, four hours,” Josh said, humour in his tone. “Tied me up and everything.”

Tyler’s jaw dropped. 

Someone must’ve asked a question, because Josh kept going. 

“Fuck, he was giant. Eight inches, maybe even nine, I bet he was on fucking viagra. His refractory period was like, five minutes. Fucked me until I couldn’t walk. Didn’t let me come until I was crying.”

Tyler squeezed his legs together, a pang of arousal shooting through his body. He imagined Josh, tied up, like in those handcuffs. Crying. Begging for release. Blood flowed downward so fast he was dizzy.

“Yeah, poppers. Could you imagine? There was like, zero prep. Hurt so bad. He’s lucky I’d just been fucked the night before. Straight in, I could feel him in my stomach, could see it, even.”

This wasn’t fucking happening. Tyler was imagining Josh getting dicked down and dirty with some faceless, unknown man, and he couldn’t get it out of his head. Tyler muted his microphone, put the phone beside him on the mattress, and shoved a hand in his underwear. 

As soon as he got his fingers around himself, Tyler let out a breathy whine. And Josh kept talking. The questions kept coming, and the filthy words poured out of his mouth, and Tyler was so fucking turned on that he was going to explode if he didn’t come in the next five minutes. 

“Dude. I can give you his number, if you want, I mean— when I say it was good, like, I’ve never been so wiped after sex. My butt hurt for ages.” He laughed and someone else giggled with him, and Tyler was reminded that this was probably just another one of Josh’s regular conversations. “I had— here, I can show you— rope burn, do you see that? On my ankles, too. I think I passed out, once he finally took the cock ring off—”

Cock ring? 

“— and said I could come. Like, I’m talking stars. My vision went black.”

Tyler reached over to the side table and pumped some lotion on his right hand before returning to the task at hand. He remembered Josh’s Snapchat story from three weeks ago, and he imagined what his cock would look like, pulsing, straining against a ring. 

“Oh, yeah, metal. I’ve tried the silicone stuff, it’s not as good.”

Josh had done this before. What the fuck had LA done to him. 

“I mean, I tried.” Josh laughed. “He’s not exactly small. Almost made me puke, held the back of my head and fucked my mouth until I had to tap out.”

Tyler closed his eyes, and Josh was on his knees, staring up at Tyler. And Tyler’s hand was Josh’s mouth, and Tyler saw tears leak out of Josh’s eyes, heard choking sounds, and Josh couldn’t do anything but let himself be used. Tied up. Not allowed to touch. His hair pulled roughly, and so desperately hard but not allowed to do anything about it.

Tyler came with a loud moan and a shudder, making a dumb fucking mess again; he hadn’t learned his lesson from the first time. 

He checked to make sure the microphone was muted, hung up, and then stared at the ceiling in horror.

He just came in three minutes, thinking about his best friend taking dick like a champ. Getting fucked so hard he blacked out. Choking on cock. He was so fucking screwed. How was he ever going to face Josh again? Or even look him in the eye?

If Josh saw the call time, he never mentioned it, and Tyler imagined Josh in various positions for spank bank material. No one had to know.

–

Josh came to visit about a month after that. 

Tyler couldn’t look him in the fucking eye. 

He’d always known that Josh was a little… fruity. The way he looked at Tyler for a beat too long, the way Tyler returned the looks. They’d kissed once. As an experiment. Nothing happened. Tyler pulled away, shrugging, said something dumb about how there was a lack of sparks, and then they left it at that. Josh had agreed. And then Tyler caught Josh kissing other men, hooking up in washroom stalls, and he pointedly looked away and didn’t mention it ever.

Tyler hadn’t known Josh to be that promiscuous, though. 

Tyler hadn’t known that he liked that Josh was that promiscuous.

He’d secretly wished that Josh would butt-dial him again. One of Tyler’s frequent fantasies was having Josh talk him through getting off over the phone, voice low, in a whisper, encouragement floating through the receiver. The guilt always hit hard.

Tyler had always known that he himself was a little fruity, too. He’d tried to date girls, but they only ever lasted a few months at a time before Tyler realized that he never really liked them. He only dated them because he thought that was what he was supposed to do. It made his mom happy. It made Josh upset. Because Josh knew he wasn’t all that into the relationship, without Tyler ever telling him that. They just got each other.

Josh and Tyler were lying on Tyler’s bed, watching Iron Man on the TV on the opposite wall, the Lesbian Prevention Pillow between them. They used to be all up against each other (purely platonically), and Josh kept glancing sadly at Tyler in response to his distance. Tyler chewed on his lower lip and tried not to think about Josh with his ass in the air, taking it up the butt, face buried in sheets. Trying not to think about it just made the thought more prevalent, and Tyler was going to spontaneously combust from shame and horniness very soon.

Josh was thinner. He was more tanned, maybe, but his hair was falling out and his skin looked stretched thin, like the muscle was right underneath. A paper cut would kill him. And Tyler knew he looked no better, eyes heavy, bones heavy, with very little energy to hold himself upright. That was why they were on the bed; Tyler had wanted a nap, and Josh didn’t want to sit by himself. He was here to visit Tyler. It didn’t matter how much Tyler pushed him away, even though he wanted him closer than ever; Josh wasn’t relenting.

It was fine. But Tyler was slightly turned on and not even paying attention to the movie, lying on his stomach, turned away from Josh. He closed his eyes, evened out his breathing, in the hopes that all his cells would calm down eventually. In, out. Progressive muscle relaxation. 

Josh shuffled a bit, and then the volume of the TV was turned down. He must’ve thought Tyler was sleeping. Because then the Lesbian Prevention Pillow was being removed, and a hand was going through Tyler’s hair, his nails barely scraping the scalp. Tyler almost let out a moan when Josh reached the base of his skull, shivers going down his spine.

“Tyler,” Josh whispered.

“Yeah?”

“You doing okay?”

Tyler turned his head so it was facing Josh. “Mostly.”

Josh seemed concerned, eyebrows knitted together, large, sad eyes staring down at him. “You seem different.”

“Well, my best friend did move across the country,” Tyler said, and he meant it as a joke, but emotion rose up his throat. He blinked rapidly to stave off the stinging behind his eyes. 

Josh grimaced. The hand scratched at the back of Tyler’s head, like Josh knew the spots that made him melt.

“I missed you, man,” Tyler tried, but he couldn’t keep it together. He sniffed, and that was enough for Josh to pull him into an embrace.

“I’m sorry,” Josh whispered, and Tyler’s chest was flush against Josh’s, and this was like, exactly what Tyler didn’t want. 

Especially with how close his ear was to Josh’s mouth, hearing the breaths leave his parted lips. The brush of hot air against his skin made him shiver, and he hoped it wasn’t perceivable. He felt Josh’s chest rise and fall, felt every single inhale, exhale. He felt the heat between them and tried his very best to ignore it. And—

And—

What?

Tyler pulled away, rubbing at his sternum, where he’d felt a strange sort of poking against his skin. He sat cross-legged on the bed, beside Josh’s prone form. He looked up at Tyler curiously.

Tyler’s eyes skimmed Josh’s chest, searching for the offending object. Josh was wearing a T-shirt. But it didn’t look quite like Tyler remembered.

“Did you get your nipples pierced?” Tyler gasped.

Josh blushed. He bit back a bashful smile. “Yeah.”

“When?” Tyler’s head was spinning. What the fuck had LA done? But then again, this was probably like, the least interesting thing Josh had gotten up to over there.

“Two months ago,” Josh said with a laugh, amused at Tyler’s shocked expression. “Still sensitive, but healed nicely.”

Tyler put a hand on Josh’s sternum, between his pecs. He moved his hand slowly until his thumb brushed against one of the metal beads. Josh didn’t push him away, so he took it as permission to place his fingers directly over the piercing, getting used to the unfamiliarity.

Josh let out a sharp breath when Tyler gently pinched the bar. 

“Sorry,” Tyler said, and retreated his hand. “Does it hurt?”

“Nah, just sensitive,” Josh repeated. The tips of his ears were red. 

Tyler swallowed hard. He shouldn’t ask this. But he wanted to so bad. “Can I see?”

Instead of answering, Josh pulled his shirt over his head and threw it on the floor beside the bed. And Josh was shirtless, abs prominent, ribs poking through, metal glinting through his nipples. He grinned crookedly at Tyler’s starstruck eyes and propped himself up on his elbows. 

Tyler’s mouth was watering. He was frozen to the spot until his hand reached out again of its own accord, and he gently ghosted his index finger over a bead. Josh’s skin broke out in goosebumps. 

“Did it hurt? When you got them done?” Tyler asked, still enraptured, getting braver with his touches.

“Oh yeah,” Josh answered easily, “like a bitch. Went shirtless for a bit just to keep the fabric from touching it.”

And then Tyler was imagining Josh shirtless, walking around LA. And he felt a pang of jealousy knowing that people had seen Josh’s bare chest, nipples out and shiny, before Tyler did. He wasn’t special anymore. Josh had always been shirtless, that was kind of his brand, but Tyler had been the one to see it in contexts other than sport or performance, and he would’ve liked to keep it that way. But Josh had gotten up to things. Who knew how many girls— or guys— had seen this before Tyler had?

He rubbed the pad of his thumb over the bud. Josh let out a sharp exhale that Tyler pretended not to hear, for the sake of Josh’s pride and for Tyler’s own enjoyment. 

“What led to this?” he asked, trailing his hand over to the other nipple.

“Uh…” Josh licked his lips. “Someone I slept with had them pierced. Thought it looked cool. He recommended his piercer and—”

“‘He,’” Tyler said before he could stop himself.

Josh stiffened. “That cool with you?”

“Uh, yeah.” Tyler’s face reddened. What the fuck was wrong with him. He brought his other hand up, touching both of Josh’s nipples, cupping his pecs in each hand. He didn’t realize how much pressure he was using until a shaky moan fell from Josh’s lips.

And then his world narrowed. Blood rushed south.

What the fuck.

Okay. That was maybe the singular most beautiful thing Tyler had ever heard, and he wanted to hear more. He couldn’t move. His gaze dropped to the rest of Josh’s body, noticing a bulge in his jeans that definitely wasn’t there before. His eyes travelled back up to Josh’s mortified expression, cheeks bright pink, lower lip bitten raw. Like in that photo on his Snapchat story.

“You’re kinda playing with my nipples, man,” Josh said with a strained laugh. 

Tyler swallowed thickly. “Do you want me to stop?”

He didn’t know what possessed him to say that. His own face reddened, and he’d already been turned on since they started that damn movie, and this wasn’t helping. 

Josh took a deep breath. He glanced away, back at TV, unable to make eye contact. “No, not really.”

Tyler pressed down harder, feeling the newness against his palm. Then he dragged his hands downward, pulling the skin with it, making Josh’s chest stutter when his fingers caught on the piercing. 

“Were you always this sensitive here?” Tyler asked, taking both his thumbs and rubbing circles on top of Josh’s nipples.

Josh nodded, opening his mouth, but no sound came out. Tyler rolled the piercings gently between his knuckles, then increased the pressure. A slight hitch of Josh’s hips had Tyler grinning. 

“During the piercing, did you, you know?” he asked.

“What?” Josh asked breathily, staring up at Tyler with wide eyes, irises practically gone. He had fallen back against the pillows.

“Get— get hard.”

Josh let out something between a whine and a groan when Tyler released the pressure, going back to teasing touches against the metal, just light enough to be felt, but too light to be enough. “Yeah,” he choked out.

“What did you do?”

Josh let out an embarrassed laugh. “Jerked off in the washroom.”

“Wouldn’t you be scared of getting caught?” Tyler asked, continuing to move his hands, pretending he didn’t see the subtle jerks of Josh’s hips, the minute clenching of his fists. “Someone would’ve checked in on you.”

Josh took a second to answer. “I didn’t last very long.”

“How long?”

“Tyler—” Josh started, but Tyler suddenly squeezed his left nipple between two knuckles. He lifted his head just to let it fall back again. “Fuck. Uh, two minutes.”

Tyler exhaled. He was wearing sweatpants, and they weren’t exactly forgiving. He knew Josh could see the effect on him. Still, he tried to pretend everything was normal. “Did you want to get caught?”

Josh was so red it was almost laughable. 

“You have a thing for that?” Tyler asked, a teasing grin stretching his lips.

Josh didn’t confirm nor deny, and Tyler took that as an affirmative. He giggled, fiddling with the metal bar, twisting, gently pulling. Josh let out a proper moan when Tyler scraped the skin around his nipple with a fingernail.

“Tyler, fuck,” Josh panted, “hurry up.”

“Hurry what up?” Tyler asked innocently.

“Just fucking touch me,” Josh whined.

“I am touching you.”

“Fuck you,” Josh said breathily. “You know what I mean.”

Tyler smiled, increasing the pressure on Josh’s chest, while keeping away from Josh’s hips. Josh was trying to grind up against something. He was turned toward Tyler, mostly lying on his back, his hips pushing forward desperately. The bulge in his jeans looked almost fake, and Tyler avoided looking at his own crotch for fear that it looked the same. 

He liked how Josh looked like this too much. The frustrated, heavy breaths. The way Josh’s abs tightened when Tyler touched him just right. The redness that blended in with the scattered freckles. And the glistening metal of the piercings, hot to the touch now, from Tyler’s fingers and the body heat radiating off of Josh. 

Josh closed his eyes and pitched forward, trying to reach for something. His hand hit Tyler’s knee. “Tyler, I swear to God—”

He cut himself off. “Swear what?” Tyler asked.

“Please, just hurry up,” Josh asked, high-pitched, already so needy.

Tyler had to squeeze his thighs together. The hand that was on his knee travelled to the bedsheets, gripping it, and Tyler’s hands stayed firmly on Josh’s chest. Teasing. “Why’re you so desperate? Did you abstain in LA?”

Josh tried to reach down to touch himself, but Tyler pushed his hand away. “Jesus fuck, Tyler, I’m begging.”

“Tell me,” Tyler said smoothly. “What did you get up to?”

Josh’s head fell back against the mattress. His eyebrows were pinched, and his lower lip was turning white from how hard he was biting it. “Uh. Not much.”

“I don’t believe you,” Tyler said, with a warning pinch. Josh gasped. “Tell me about LA.”

“I went to the beach a lot.”

Tyler pinched harder. “Wrong answer.”

“What is this power trip you’re on?” Josh asked, still refusing to answer.

“It’s fun,” Tyler admitted, and to be honest, he’d never really done this before. “Don’t tell me you’ve never teased someone like this, I know you got a lot of action over there.”

“I haven’t.”

Tyler was taken aback. His hands stilled and he tilted his head curiously. “You haven’t?”

“I, uh, I didn’t usually— I was usually the one— you know,” Josh said with a pained shrug, almost pulling away.

“I don’t know.”

“Uh, the one getting teased. Taking it,” he finished awkwardly.

“Taking what?”

“I was getting dicked down, okay?” Josh blurted out in annoyance. 

Tyler laughed at the clear frustration. “Yeah? Did you like it?”

Josh groaned, less from pleasure and more from embarrassment. “Can you just get me off?”

“No, I wanna know about your trip.” Tyler was enjoying this too much. They were both definitely fully hard, but it was more fun to watch Josh squirm than to focus on his own pleasure. 

Josh gave in. “I got my nipples pierced, I was taking it up the ass about three times a week, sometimes more, and I got a tiny bit addicted to cocaine. Happy?”

Tyler pulled away completely. He blinked. “Cocaine?”

“It’s LA, Tyler.”

“Do you— do you still do it?” Tyler didn’t know where this sudden fear came from. He didn’t know his friend anymore.

“Haven’t in about a month. Not planning on starting again,” Josh reassured him, putting away the frustration to firmly grip Tyler’s forearm. “Had heart palpitations, scared me a bit. I’m okay.”

“Oh.”

“Okay,” Josh said with finality. “Told you. Please.”

“Are you— you know,” Tyler asked awkwardly, worried he’d just killed everything. 

“Please,” Josh whined, throwing an arm over his eyes like something was physically hurting him.

“Are you clean?”

Josh took his arm off his eyes just to glare at Tyler. “I just told you, I haven’t touched a drug—”

“No,” Tyler interrupted quickly. “Like, like an STD.”

“Oh.” Josh’s expression turned to one of understanding. “Yeah, I got tested about two weeks ago, got the results maybe five days ago. I’m clean.”

Tyler furrowed his eyebrows. “How do you know you haven’t picked anything up in two weeks?”

Josh looked to the side, his face getting impossibly redder. “I, uh, abstained.”

Tyler let out an incredulous laugh. “You’ve been getting fucked more than three times a week and you abstained? Why?”

“Don’t make me say it,” Josh groaned, covering his face again. 

“I don’t even know what it is.”

“I was kinda— I— I just hoped that, that maybe, you know.”

Tyler’s eyes widened in poorly concealed glee. “You hoped this would happen.”

Josh winced. “Maybe.”

Tyler’s chest felt like it was going to collapse from giddiness. “How long have you been wanting this?”

“So long, Tyler, please,” Josh pleaded, and the way he stretched out his name was doing things to Tyler. “I haven’t done anything but jerk off for two weeks. Touch me. Please.”

Tyler lowered his gaze from Josh’s face and moved back to his chest. He dug his thumbnail lightly into the bud of Josh’s nipple, leaving a tiny crescent, watching the skin bounce back. “I kinda wanna know what it feels like, I wanna know what all those guys were feeling when they were fucking you.”

“Please,” Josh whispered, voice wavering. “Please, please.”

“You miss it?” Tyler asked, trailing his hands down Josh’s abdomen, watching the muscles jump and tense. “You miss feeling something deep inside you?”

Josh nodded quickly, rolling slightly so he was completely on his back, spreading his legs automatically as Tyler’s hand went lower and lower, dancing across his V-line. 

“Say it.”

“I miss it,” Josh gasped out when Tyler dragged his fingernails on his lower stomach.

“You miss what?”

“I miss— I miss being fucked.”

Tyler was so hard it was almost painful, but he didn’t want to give in just yet. “How do they usually do it? Press your face into the mattress? On your back, on your hands and knees?”

“Tyler, what the fuck.” Josh arched his back, trying to move Tyler’s hands to his crotch by pure willpower alone. 

“Do they tie you up?” Tyler continued. “I’ve seen your Snapchat stories. I saw those handcuffs. Tie you up so you can’t touch?”

“Fuck, Ty, please,” Josh begged, once again bringing his hand down to touch himself, but Tyler grabbed onto his wrist. 

“What do you want?” Tyler asked, holding Josh’s hand away from his body.

“Tyler. I’m so fucking hard, please—”

“What do you want?” he repeated sternly.

“Please just fuck me,” Josh pleaded.

Tyler grinned. He let go of his hand in favour of unzipping the fly of Josh’s jeans and tugging them down his thighs. Josh tried to pull down his underwear, but Tyler batted his hand away, and instead pressed two fingers against the head of Josh’s leaking cock through his underwear. 

“Tyler, I’m fucking begging,” Josh said desperately, trying to push forward into Tyler’s fingers to increase the pressure. “I’ve never been so fucking hard in my life.”

Tyler hooked his fingers under the waistband of Josh’s underwear and pulled them off, discarded on the floor somewhere. He then sat between Josh’s bent knees, staring at his cock resting on his stomach, flush and pink and slightly curving to the side. He felt some kind of superiority, being completely dressed, while Josh was stark naked in front of him. Open and willing. Head against the pillows, breathing hard, precome dripping.

And Tyler knew he wasn’t the first person to see Josh like this. And yeah, he was a bit jealous. But Josh had lifted his head slightly, neck straining, mouth open and eyes half-closed, and the view made it worth the wait.

Tyler knew the basics. He knew: lube, fingers up the ass, then cock up the ass, finish. But the porn he watched usually overlooked the prep, and Tyler was more into the dick stuff rather than the butt stuff, anyway. He reached for the lube and the condoms in the bedside table drawer and returned between Josh’s knees. He grabbed his ankles and spread his legs wider, just to prove that he had control, and Josh let out a startled squeak that Tyler laughed at.

He poured lube on his right index finger, lifted one of Josh’s legs for a better angle, and circled his rim. “Talk me through it.”

“One finger,” Josh instructed, voice strained. “Slow— slow, fuck.”

Tyler had only pushed into the first knuckle, but he stopped and let the muscles relax around him. He glanced up at Josh, who had his eyes squeezed shut in pain.

“Haven’t been fucked in two weeks, and you’re already so tight,” Tyler teased, using his left hand to massage Josh’s thigh.

“It’s been a while.”

Tyler softened. “Let me know if you need to stop.”

Josh nodded and let out the breath he’d been holding. “Okay. More.”

Tyler slowly pushed further, watching Josh’s face for any lasting signs of discomfort. He moved his left hand from the underside of Josh’s thigh to reach between his legs for his cock, moving his fist slowly, lazily, almost awkwardly with his non-dominant hand.

“Move,” Josh said after about a minute.

Tyler put his thumb against Josh’s perineum for leverage and started to pump his finger in and out. The pressure made Josh’s thighs twitch.

“Another,” Josh gasped.

Tyler removed his fingers, slicked two of them up with lube, and then slid them both in slowly. His left hand never stopped. Josh’s breaths were becoming high-pitched, quicker, and if Tyler wasn’t watching as his face contorted with pleasure, he might’ve thought he was in distress.

He was down to the second knuckle when Josh cried out. “Stop. Stop.”

Tyler pulled away, his hands held awkwardly in the air. Josh gripped the base of his cock and bit down on his lip with a strained sort of groan, his eyes squeezed shut.

“You okay?” Tyler asked, alarmed.

“Fuck.” Josh opened his eyes, and there were tears of effort clinging to his eyelashes. “I almost just came.”

“So quick?” Relief flooded Tyler’s body. He relaxed, letting his hands rest on Josh’s thighs instead.

“I’ve been so fucking hard for like, thirty minutes,” Josh defended, taking his hand away and gripping the sheets. 

“Fifteen, at the most.”

“Just don’t touch me. Or I’ll—” he gestured vaguely to his cock— “too fast.”

“Okay.”

“You can keep going.” And Tyler wasted no time getting his fingers inside again.

Instead of touching Josh, Tyler’s left hand rested on his own crotch, palming himself to relieve some of the pressure. He got both fingers in fully, comfortably, pumping slowly.

“Try to— try to scissor them.”

Tyler spread his fingers apart. He watched Josh hungrily from between his legs. His breaths were ragged, his chest rising and falling unevenly, the metal on his nipples catching in the light as Tyler stretched him open.

“Another,” Josh begged.

Tyler lubed up three fingers. It was easier, with less resistance. Tyler could tell Josh wanted to touch himself so badly with the way his hand jumped across his abdomen, stopping himself before he could. And then Tyler spread his fingers apart and Josh let out a punched-out moan. His eyes flew open and he snaked a hand around his knee, pulling his leg toward his chest for Tyler to get a better angle.

“Two inches in, curl towards— fuck.”

He’d clenched his muscles and Tyler felt him tensing around his fingers. Josh lifted his head again to stare at Tyler desperately with shiny eyes.

“You’re good,” he breathed out. 

“You sure?” Tyler asked, pulling his hand away and reaching for the waistband of his pants.

“Jesus Christ, Tyler, just fuck me,” Josh said impatiently. He let his head fall back again and Tyler watched the way his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat.

“Give me a sec,” Tyler retorted. He pulled off his sweatpants and boxers in one motion and kicked them off somewhere beside the bed. Josh sat up and yanked the hem of Tyler’s shirt above his head impatiently, balling it up and tossing the fabric to the side.

Tyler was having none of that. He pushed Josh back with a low growl and a hand against his chest, his palm digging into the piercing. Situating himself again, he tried to tear open the condom to no avail.

“My fingers are too slippery,” Tyler said with an embarrassed laugh, tossing the foil onto Josh’s chest. Josh ripped it open with ease and handed it back to him, but seemed to think better of it and sat up again.

“Let me,” Josh said, gesturing for Tyler to move closer. 

Tyler kneeled between Josh’s legs, and their cocks pressed together over Josh’s stomach, making Tyler lose his breath for a second. Josh rolled the condom onto Tyler’s dick with nimble fingers before falling back again.

“Now,” he demanded. “Please. Now.”

Tyler didn’t push it, starting to get desperate as well. He coated his cock in lube, getting off on the view. “Hands and knees, or—”

“I don’t fucking care, just please,” Josh begged.

Tyler pushed Josh’s knees so they were against his chest, and Josh obediently hooked his hands around them to hold them there. Tyler lined himself up with Josh’s entrance. “Talk to me.”

“Slow.”

He pressed in at an agonizing pace. It had been so long since he’d been inside someone, and this was better than anything his right hand could do. He let out a moan when he was seated to the hilt, pressed up fully against Josh’s ass.

“Give me a sec,” Josh panted.

“Yeah.” Tyler squeezed his eyes shut and it was taking everything in him to stay still.

“Okay,” Josh puffed after a little pause. “Move. Slow at first.”

Tyler pressed his hands against Josh’s stomach for leverage. His abs were more defined, now, hard beneath his palms. He pulled out, then pushed in, and Josh was so pretty. 

This was exactly how he’d imagined it. Exactly like the photo, just without the restraints. Chest heaving, flushed red, curls sticking to his forehead with sweat. And those fucking piercings. Josh was so tight and so warm and all Tyler wanted to do was lean down and mouth at them, lick them, bite them.

“Faster,” Josh urged.

Tyler moved his hands so they were on either side of Josh’s chest, leaning over him, his knees digging into the mattress as he picked up the pace. He shifted his weight onto one hand so he could thumb at Josh’s nipples again.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

Josh nodded desperately. “Please.”

Tyler let his chest collapse against Josh’s, gripped Josh’s jaw with his right hand, and slammed his lips against his hastily. They weren’t so much kissing as they were breathing into each other’s mouths, but it was still way better than that first kiss so long ago. Teeth clacking and tongues mingling. Josh’s cock was trapped between their stomachs, and Tyler was buried so deep inside.

“This what you wanted?” Tyler asked, winded, trying to sound in control, despite being anything but.

“Yeah,” Josh moaned, his eyes half-closed, blissed out.

Tyler kissed down his chin. He took his weight off of his chest to play with the piercings again, pressing far too hard, but Josh didn’t seem to mind.

“Tyler,” he gasped. “Fuck.”

It fell so naturally from Josh’s mouth. “Did you say my name too, while getting fucked by another guy?” he growled.

Josh nodded fervently.

Tyler barked out a laugh. “Actually?”

“Twice,” Josh confirmed.

“Fuck,” Tyler moaned, his entire body jerking forward at that. Josh was thinking of Tyler, just like Tyler thought of Josh on those lonely nights. But the difference was that Josh wasn’t lonely, and he was still all Tyler’s, still with him on his mind.

He moved faster, pressing harder, the sound of skin on skin so pornographic that it just made everything hotter. His abs were on fire, his arms ached from holding up his weight, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“I’m gonna—”

“Not yet,” Tyler interrupted. He slowed down, moving lower, curling his spine so that there was no more friction against Josh’s cock. The languid pace left Josh almost in tears. He arched his back, trying to get something, but Tyler wasn’t relenting, and he gave up and let go of his knees. He lowered his legs and pressed his hands against Tyler’s back, trying to pull him down again.

Tyler kissed down Josh’s chest and stopped at his left nipple. He latched on suddenly with his teeth, and Josh’s entire body seemed to react to that.

Tyler lifted his head to look up at Josh with a starving gaze. “You like that?” 

“Yeah, please, just—” 

Tyler cut him off by sucking on his nipple, tonguing the piercing. Josh tried to pull Tyler down again by clawing at his back, sure to leave marks. 

“Tyler, fuck, I’ve been begging this whole time,” Josh whined, trying to lift his hips, almost succeeding in collapsing Tyler’s arms.

Tyler kissed back up his neck, stopping at his lips. “I know. And you look pretty doing it.”

“Fuck me, please.”

Tyler looked down at his teary eyes. Irises gone, dark and wanting, hot breaths hitting Tyler’s lips. His skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat that made him glisten. He was all Tyler’s, and he kissed him slowly, his hips stilled, pressed inside fully without giving Josh what he needed the most. Tyler lowered his head to look between their bodies to see Josh’s cock against his stomach, practically in a puddle of precome. 

“Come on,” Josh whimpered.

Tyler finally took pity. He pulled out almost completely before slamming in again, picking up the pace, moving faster than before. 

Josh wrapped his legs around Tyler’s back and hooked his ankles together, deepening the angle. He dug his fingernails into his skin and finally succeeded in pulling Tyler’s chest flush against his own, his skin catching on the piercings, adding to the feeling. Practically all of Tyler’s weight was sitting on top of Josh. His head was buried into the pillow on Josh’s left side, and he panted into his ear.

“Tyler.”

“Yeah?” he asked, lost in it all.

Josh just moaned in response, higher-pitched, building up to something. Tyler was close too. He’d been holding off, but Josh sounded so good like this, and he’d been thinking of all the other men who had seen this to try to keep himself from coming. But suddenly that thought was hot and he felt the pleasure climb anyway. All those men, and Josh was here, getting fucked by Tyler.

“Am I better than them?” he asked, trying to disguise a need for reassurance with dirty talk. 

“Yes,” Josh breathed.

“My first time fucking a guy, and I’ve got you like this?” he continued, shifting his weight so he could close his right hand around Josh’s cock.

“Fuck, Tyler, I’m so close.” Josh sounded wrecked.

It wasn’t much of a warning. As soon as that last word left Josh’s mouth he arched his back and squeezed his eyes shut, tears leaking, coming all over Tyler’s fist. And it was the most beautiful sound Tyler had ever heard, the most beautiful sight, chin tilted toward the ceiling, mouth wide open, eyebrows pinched together. There was something powerful about being the one to make him unravel like that, and it made Tyler tip over the edge, falling to pleasure, and he let himself go. He let himself take, after wanting this for so long. He thrusted two more times before he buried himself deep inside and spilled into the condom.

He had his mouth against Josh’s collarbone, and he bit it gently before straightening up.

“Jesus Christ,” he said, pulling out, wincing at the sensitivity. He sat up and removed the condom, tying it off, and throwing it somewhere in the sheets to dispose of later. He collapsed on his stomach beside Josh.

“Good?” Josh asked, chest heaving.

“Mhm. Fuck.” Tyler was sore all over. His abs hurt so bad. He reached his fingers up to Josh’s nipples again, pressing gently on the piercing, withdrawing his hand when Josh's entire body jolted from the feeling. “I like them.”

“I like that you like them,” Josh said, sitting up and grimacing. “Do you have a towel?”

“Just use the sheets, I’ll wash them,” Tyler said, too spent to bother getting up. 

“You’re gross. I know you’re new to this, but you gotta work on your aftercare.” Josh yanked the pillowcase off a pillow, balled it up, and wiped up his stomach. He rolled over so a leg was thrown over Tyler’s naked body and threw the pillowcase on the floor.

The sweat was cooling off, making goosebumps erupt over Tyler’s skin. He buried his face in the crook of Josh’s neck and closed his eyes, breathing him in. He was warm. And Tyler was exhausted.

“Did you want this, too?” Josh asked, almost insecure.

Tyler nodded against him.

“Really?”

“You posted nudes on your Snapchat story,” Tyler admitted against his skin. “I kinda used them as... yeah.”

Josh let out a huff of amused air. “You know, you were the only one who didn’t screenshot them.”

Tyler opened his eyes, pulling back so he could see Josh’s face. “What?”

“Thought my chances with you were blown,” Josh said with an embarrassed laugh. “I have four people on that specific private story. You and three other hookups. I just wanted to see if maybe you wanted me.”

“That was on purpose?” Tyler asked, appalled, but also relieved.

“And then I called you while I was talking about sex, but you hung up so quickly—”

“You fucker.” Tyler slapped Josh playfully. “Fuck you. I hung up so quickly because I came in like, less than three minutes.”

Josh was grinning, looking at Tyler with fond and reassuring eyes. “Glad to see my methods worked.”

“I couldn’t even look you in the eye today, out of guilt,” Tyler continued, shifting the blame to Josh, now. He sighed dramatically. “It was killing me, eating me up inside, I almost died from—”

“Oh, shut up.” Josh leaned forward to kiss Tyler’s nose. “It worked.”

Tyler sighed and buried himself deeper into the mattress, entangling his legs with Josh’s. “You seriously said my name in bed? With other guys?”

Josh pressed his lips in a straight line, but there was a hint of a smile. “No comment.”

“You thought of me?” Tyler felt a surge of pride. He dragged his hand along Josh’s chest, up and down, tracing his muscles with a fingernail. 

“Every time,” Josh said bashfully. “Ever since— ever since we kissed that one time, remember? It’s always been you.”

Tyler felt himself melting. “I remember.”

Josh licked his lips, as if gearing up to say something dumb. Tyler knew that look. He braced himself.

“So…” Josh started, unable to resist a grin, “sparks this time?”

“Nah, none at all.”

“Sure.”

“Guess you’ll just have to keep kissing me.”

Josh relaxed, rolling towards Tyler and planting a kiss on his lips. “Guess so.”

Tyler had no complaints.