Chapter Text
Blitz knew he was one to talk, but this place was ugly.
With a capital UG.
The sprawling, towering structure stood out in the landscape bathed in the usual reddish tint of the Pride ring; all new and full of promise. All unbroken windows practically begging to be smashed in, fresh signs on the lawn welcoming “all looking to stay” just perfect targets for teens to spray paint dicks on the surface, and flashy neon lights signaling the hotel's presence that had yet to be shot to shit by roving gangs. It lacked the usual aesthetic agreement the rest of the buildings in the ring looked to have reached aeons ago of either sporting some degree of spikes, bars, or turrets to fire down at visitors.
No, this was something new, something hopeful. Something else.
Something Blitz wasn't afraid to exploit.
"Okay gang here's the plan." The eternally scheming imp spoke up, pointed teeth glinting just slightly in the almost piercing shine of the hotel's neon glow despite their removed distance of huddling behind a bush. "Loona, you just be your typical perfect self as always."
The tall hellhound held her usual posture of sullen annoyance, rolling her eyes at her adoptive father's affection while tossing a glance towards the building behind her. "You better be right about them having food, Blitz. That houseguest of yours fucking ate the last of my emergency sausages. He's lucky I didn't eat him."
"Now - now, Loonie, I'm the only one allowed to eat that bird out and you know it -"
"Fucking - fuck OFF, Blitz!" The towering husky sputtered as her hands flew up to squash down her ears. "That's the last fucking thing I need! It's bad enough I have to deal with that asshole moping his brains out over a daughter he barely talked to! Like I need you talking about -"
"Well that's why we're here, ain't it?" Millie spoke up, worrying the edge of a clawed finger under a chipped tooth. "This place lets all kinds in, according to all the advertisements - " She unrolled one of the many flyers that got dropped over the city, hailing the supposed triumphant return of the Happy Hotel as a sanctuary for those looking to make a fresh change in their afterlives. "I mean...if we can convince them to take in Stolas, then that'll get him offa' Blitz's back for good."
"Or at least until I think of something more long-term..." Muttered Blitz, rubbing a hand under his chin. "Satan knows that birdy shit is eating more just food at my place."
"Sir, I'm with Loona in that I really don't want to hear about your sexual -" Moxxie spoke up, only for a gauntleted hand to clamp around his face.
"I mean my patience, Moxxie - fuck! Let me finish!" It was another in a long string of Blitz snarling at his underling, but even Moxxie, as cowed as he normally was in the face of the taller imp's ire, could detect the lack of usual venom in his boss's tone.
Though no one said anything directly to the boss himself, everyone in IMP could see how Stolas's extended stay was wearing on Blitz. His usual overly enthusiastic vitriol that he applied to most everything was lacking these days, coupled with a gradual loss of appetite, struggle to focus, and half-assed jobs. IMP was taking a hit to their finances thanks to one too-many mistakes on Blitz's part for one reason or another, and they can't get paid by their clientele for just winging a target.
It wouldn't be long before the Goetia basically sucked all the life and energy out of the very thing Blitz sold his body to maintain in the beginning of all this mess.
The rest of IMP were kicking themselves for not seeing things going this way, but like a spider Stolas had wrapped them all in a cozy web of deceit under the guise of his noble charisma, only to start draining the life out of everything they strived for as soon as he got comfortable. Or…uncomfortable, considering how often he complained about sleeping on the couch.
It all started so rosy at first; the two star crossed souls united over the Sinsmas battle as they held one another and promised to provide mutual support in this new stage in life...only for the stars to fall from their eyes and skyrocket downwards, leaving behind a creator big enough to represent their mutual resentment.
Because Stolas really didn't offer any words of thanks, or appreciation, or affection while Blitz finally bent to his wishes and let down his walls. As the imp allowed himself to be affectionate, downright accommodating, for the first time in years while in a relationship, anything resembling a honeymoon period with the bird soon dried up in the face of having to manage a piece of royalty separated from all his comforts in life. With Stolas removed from all the things he valued, (his family, money, power, magic, and status) that had Blitz and Loona living with what was left; a demon with no skills, no life experience, and no idea how annoying he was.
The escalation was swift, but in hindsight pretty obvious with how it all started to degrade. Arguing about minor things ("Blitzy, is it possible you could get me something proper to sleep on? This ratty thing offers little support on the back." "Well Stolas, unless you got that giant number from your old place hidden somewhere, you're shit out of luck. I don't got mattress money.") escalated to more and more sniping ("Bitch, did you EAT the last chocolate scream bar?! It's hot as fuck outside!" "Exactly! If only you put a little more effort into that business you seem so proud of, then maybe you'd draw in enough money for a proper cooling system in this sauna of a living space!") to the inevitable hate-fucking, which left them where they are today; fed up.
Months of dealing with a Goetia unwilling to lower himself and actually adapt to his new situation left Blitz (and by extension Loona, Moxxie and Millie) at the end of his rope.
IMP was pouring its money into keeping the prissy prince pampered and it was never enough. The humble apartment was cramped when it was just Blitz on the couch and Loona taking the bedroom, but with the three of them and almost zero harmony, the headstrong imp found himself feeling more and more drained by the day.
So when the news came out that Pride wasn't going to be wiped out by angels, and that the top princess herself had reopened her sham of a hotel - well. . . how could they ignore this golden apple of an opportunity?
("So little miss Morningstar apparently's got a bleeding heart and lets pathetic fucks stay at her rehab center for losers or whatever. I think if we play our cards right, then they can deal with Stolas for the next hundred years until he can waltz his narrow ass back to the world of riches and golden toilets to shit in, instead of my place where he shits on every little thing I do." Blitz smiled his first genuine smile in days as he unfurled the fresh flyer in front of the team meeting one fateful morning, and soon enough a plan was formed.)
It took a while, but after employing Fizz to distract Stolas over in Lust, the team were finally on the cusp of dumping off their burden for good. . . so they hoped.
"Now Mox, you just need to keep the sob story straight for the princess, got it? You love flowery bullshit and crying about everything, so I figure that makes you the prime candidate to back me up when I feed the idiots in there our story about ‘poor old Stolas’ falling on hard times."
"That won't be difficult, sir." Moxxie took the jabs as his character in stride as he saluted his boss, determination clear on his face. "I feel like crying every time I see Stolas in the office these days."
"That's my little character witness." The anticipation in Blitz's grin had him looking somewhat feral, but his subordinate enjoyed the approval all the same. "And Millie -" he turned towards the team's muscle, all spunk and vinegar as always and ready to go. "I'm gonna need you to scope the shit out of this place. Look high and low for anything good we can take with us. Maybe one of the sad Sinners there has something we can use to pawn or something."
Despite his last attempt at stealing biting him in the ass so hard he still had the beak-shaped marks on his cheeks, Blitz was never above scrounging for goodies, and certain that they could benefit from this little visit by digging up whatever trinkets they could at the hotel. Sinners always seemed to come across the most wonderful of toys, and if the news about the windfall of angelic metal thanks to the recent war with Heaven was anything to go off of, then the hotel was potentially sitting on a veritable goldmine of high-grade high-demon killing material.
And Blitz couldn’t let all that go to waste.
"Or perhaps -" Moxxie interjected with a little raised hand like the meek child in the back of the class. "We could ask if any of the Sinners living there need us to do a job."
"Mox, ain't this place for folks lookin' to turn themselves around? Any Sinners there are itchin’ to get to Heaven, right?" Millie tilted her head at her husband, eyelashes fluttering in confusion like butterflies. "Can't see a big load of work coming from that kind of crowd if they're lookin' to get all ascended."
"Yeah - yeah, 'ascend.’" The air quotes and eyeroll weren't necessary for Blitz to show his belief in the hotel's inhabitants and their sincerity. There was enough skepticism in his words to have them manifest physically and hit the ground with a thud. "Sure Mills, but in the meantime I'll bet some of those assholes aren't against getting some last-ditch sinning out of their systems." He sounded all-too happy to live up to the reputation of being the little devil on their shoulders.
"Hnn" The Wrathian worried her lip with a chipped tooth. "Well, if they're lookin' to turn around, what are the odds they wanna ruin any of that by asking us fer'a job? Sounds to me like the well might already be dry here."
"Millie, listen to an imp that has spent his entire life in Pride -" It wasn't often Blitz used the extra height he had over most other imps. They were a short race by default and in their particular circles it was considered impolite, even by their standards, to loom over one another, not wanting to imitate the behavior of bigger and more powerful demons who are all-too-happy to make them feel small. But that's exactly what Blitz was doing as he stood over Millie, and while the farmgirl showcased her usual unflappability in the face of her boss's behavior, it was clear in her eyes she wasn't a fan of the energy he was giving off.
Rare was it that Blitz mouthed off to Millie this way.
" - but there has never been a Sinner who truly wants to change for the better." The glint in Blitz's eye was toeing the line of sanity, and there was far too much gum exposed as his mouth twisted into a snarl. "Every last one of those assholes lands here and decides to treat demons like us and everyone around them like shit because they're not surrounded by clouds and sunlight and whatever like they thought they’d get after spending their lives fucking up." He straightened up and stepped a few feet back, hands clenched at his sides. It was clear in his posture he was trying valiantly to keep a greater rant on the inside, and even Loona looked unnerved by her parent's rising temper.
Still. . . a few deep breaths later and he seemed more composed as he turned back towards them, though the twitch in one eye told the three that his fraying patience was hanging on by a valiant thread.
"Princess Starlight or whatever can dream all she wants about making Sinners better people, but they're the ones who chose to turn our home into their playground just because they gotta answer to their shitty behavior in life." He ran a gauntleted hand down his face, stretching the skin briefly as a groan escaped him. "But -" and with the speed of a punch to the face, slapped a smile back on with such a sudden changing of gears that it was almost possible to hear the grinding inside Blitz’s skull.
Moxxie had a look like it somehow gave him whiplash.
"That's perfect for us, who are looking to dump another sad-sack off on this place. Stolas'll be among his own kind; a bunch of raging dickholes mad at everything and taking it out on whoever they're looking at."
“Shit Blitz,” Loona looked up from her phone, eyebrow arched up. “You sure you don’t wanna stay here too?”
But as usual, Blitz shook off his adoptive daughter’s barbs like they were a Spring breeze.
“Loonie, I’d sooner marry that stick-bird mooching off our couch than leave you, but don’t worry - this place’ll be fucking catnip to his sad-ass.”
As the hotel’s presence loomed before the quartet of demons, Blitz straightened up a little as he looked over at the bright and inviting doors. Those doors were open wide like a pair of open arms, beckoning in Sinners from all over Pride while the lights inside shone bright and golden and sunny.
“All right, you all got your roles! So let’s nut up and get to work!”
And with that, the members of IMP exited their meeting place of a lone shrub and made their way over towards the gleaming towering presence of the Happy Hotel, fragile hope brimming in the hearts of every one of them that their plan would work out and free them of the dead weight hanging off their necks.
- - - - - - - -
Meanwhile, another inhabitant of Hell was practically dancing around the lobby, body swaying and skipping to the beat of a tune in her heart that was threatening to burst out in yet another display of song.
“Oh Vaggie, can you believe it?!” Princess Charlotte Morningstar, aka “Charlie,” practically squeaked with joy as she threw an arm around her girlfriend.
The newly renovated hotel was looking more pristine than ever; gone was the shabby and peeling wallpaper, the muted colors of the furniture, and the literal hole-in-the-wall bar, now replaced with shining new examples to make sinners comfortable during their stay. It had the princess in a downright tizzy, and with the sudden rush of patrons due to their victory against Adam’s horde of angels, activity at the hotel was at an all-time high.
“It’s everything I dreamed it would be!”
From their position at the second floor overlooking the lobby, Charlie eagerly waved her hand over all the emerging sinners, presenting them like one would fabulous prizes at a game show. Her girlfriend, Vaggie, smiled and nodded over a rather full notebook.
“It’s great, babe, but with all these new patrons, we got a full hotel on our hands, and we’re going to need to get serious with how we’re going to handle different redemption and therapy methods.”
But try as she might, she seemed unable to pierce the chipper demeanor of her paramour, who continued to frolic along the halls of the hotel with a spring in her step and a song in her heart, leading the fallen angel to chase after her.
“Charlie! This is serious!”
“Oh Vaggie,” Charlie smiled with a snort and a chuckle, unable to let such a small thing like “hiring new staff” and “figuring out if redemption is even possible” serve as the metaphorical pebble in her shoe. “Let’s just bask in the glow, just for a little bit! Our dream of helping sinners is being made right before our eyes! Doesn’t that make you so happy?”
It clearly was making Charlie happy, whose rosy cheeks practically glowed with joy while she bounced on her heels. Vaggie hated being the voice of reason, especially when it resulted in her logic having to pop Charlie’s emotional balloon, but the sheer number of sinners now looking for rooms served as a sobering reminder regarding what they had in store. “It’s just…look around.”
From the top of the stairs, the two overlooked the packed lobby; sinners were practically spilling out the door as they lined up for a key, and though they had plenty of rooms, that was only the tip of the iceberg. “I mean…you’re doing it, you’re really doing it.” She offered Charlie a warm smile, truly happy that the seemingly impossible dream of her girlfriend was seeing some degree of success. The warmth she received back from her princess only served to make her heart glow with more resolve than she had ever known while serving under Adam. “But we still got a lot of work ahead of us. If these sinners want to be serious about living here, then we’re going to need someone…or several someones who can help get to the root of what’s possibly keeping them here.”
Despite Charlie’s certainty, redemption and its possibility were still a mystery, and as much as Vaggie was happy in seeing the hotel more popular than it had ever been, the last thing she wanted to see was her partner (and potentially all of Hell) crushed under the realization that such a thing was only a fairy tale. They needed facts and professionals if they were going to see this thing through.
Taking the princess’s hand in hers, she looked into Charlie’s warm red eyes with another soft smile. “I just…I want to see your dream come true, and I want to make sure we’re on the same page about everything. We’re in this together.”
“Vaggie that was beautiful,” Was her only warning before the angel was swept up in a mighty hug, with Charlie planting a warm, lovely kiss that made her whole body feel like it could glow in the dark. “We are in this together, and with you and our friends, there isn’t anything in Hell that can - “
“Rev up those fryers!”
The loud, grating voice was somehow heard over the sound of a boot kicking open the entrance door, startling the souls still lined up in the lobby. Overlooking the whole scene, Charlie and Vaggie watched as two short figures made their way in.
Two imps.
“Cuz I got a new piece of meat for you people to slap on this sad-sack barbecue!”
It was the taller of the two who was yelling like he was trying to be heard over a concert, striding in boldly and confidently like he owned the place, while a smaller one scuttled to keep up beside him, his large eyes rolling over the interior of the building.
“Now, where’s Princess Sunbright or someshit? Cuz do I have a sad, pitiful story for her to hear!”