Chapter Text
The more time he spent around Alastor, the more Alastor’s chemically-altered scent made his stomach churn and bile rise to the back of his throat. The sinners didn’t seem to notice it that much, or maybe they were simply used to people using suppressants. But Lucifer had a sharp sense of smell, sharp enough that in a sea of unique pheromones of all kind… Alastor stood out. A rank whiskey sour and rotting meat sort of smell, and even that was covered by the smell of cigarette smoke. That at least wasn’t his natural scent, it was simply that Alastor was a regular smoker, but it made him smell even more sickly.
Lucifer knew he did it on purpose. He’s outright admitted to making himself smell as foul as possible to any alphas who might try to approach him, and ever since Vox briefly got his hands on him, it seemed like he’s stepped up the smoking and suppressant use. It worried Lucifer. Alastor couldn’t die from it, but he frequently looked nauseous, his expression strained, and Lucifer has even caught him throwing up outside multiple times.
Alastor had made him swear not to tell anyone, and Lucifer had agreed, but it tugged at his heart. Alastor was a violent jackass, but he’s started to grow on Lucifer, and as an alpha, Lucifer was naturally concerned to see an omega in distress. He wanted to soothe him. But Alastor wasn’t interested in being comforted, and Lucifer wasn’t going to force anything on him.
Lucifer tried to just focus on helping with the hotel, getting to know the sinners and encouraging peace, guiding them through Charlie’s lessons. But some part of him was always aware of Alastor whenever he was around, and he watched him too, wishing there was something he could do for him.
Then one evening he saw Alastor slipping outside through a side door, a hand pressed to his mouth and the other gripping his stomach. Lucifer looked around, then followed him out in time to see him dropping to his knees and throwing up onto the grass.
Lucifer winced at how painful it sounded, then the smell hit him and he nearly threw up too. He had to back away, covering his nose. “Oh, fuck, that’s bad.”
Alastor went rigid, then turned to stare at him. He snarled, starting to get up, but then shuddered and puked again. He slammed his fist into the ground, coughing weakly. His shoulders shook and Lucifer realized there was blood in his vomit.
Instinct kicked in. He quickly rushed to get down next to him, touching his shoulder. “Shit, you need any help, or…”
Alastor immediately shoved him away. “Get away from me,” he growled.
Lucifer shook his head. “You’re throwing up blood, that’s not good. And…” He started to register Alastor’s scent and almost covered his nose again. It was even more pungent, sour and fetid, it nearly turned his stomach. And beyond that, he could faintly smell distress and even fear despite how Alastor no doubt also wanted the drugs to mask his emotions. Unfortunately, Lucifer’s senses were too good for that. “Oh God, your scent. How many suppressants are you taking?”
“Mind your business.”
“Smells like… it just smells bad. You know suppressant abuse can cause organ failure? Already a painful death, but down here, you won’t even die from it. You’re just going to suffer as your body repeatedly breaks down and heals itself. It can’t be worth it.”
“Yes it is. I can’t…” Alastor shook his head, wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand. “Can’t go through a heat. Not now, I-” He fell silent, jerking like he was going to retch again, but he managed to hold it in. He didn’t say anything more though, his ears pinning back as he stared miserably at the ground.
“Why can’t you?” Lucifer asked.
“I hate it. I hate all the feelings. I hate the need. And there’s too much I need to do now, I can’t be distracted by this awful biology of mine.”
Lucifer lifted a hand, hesitated, and said, “I want to rub your back. I won’t do anything else. Can I?”
“Why even ask? You’re an alpha, you could just assert yourself with your voice and I’d be forced to comply,” Alastor muttered.
“I could, but I won’t. I like it more when people choose to trust me.”
Alastor sighed. “Fine. You can.”
Lucifer set his hand on his back. He held it there for a few moments, watching to see how Alastor would respond. He saw one of his ears twitch, but his shoulders stayed hunched. Lucifer began rubbing slowly, going up and down his spine.
Alastor wrapped both arms around his stomach and let out a plaintive whine. He squeezed his eyes shut, smile faltering. Lucifer could smell how much pain he was in.
“It’s giving you stomach ulcers, isn’t it?” Lucifer said quietly.
Alastor didn’t reply. Lucifer didn’t need him to.
“And yet, I still see you at the bar most evenings, pounding back scotch. Oh, Alastor.”
“I don’t need your pity.”
“Too bad. You’re in pain and I want to comfort you. Blame it on my overbearing alpha nature.” Lucifer moved his hand a little faster, using more pressure, and he heard Alastor take a deeper breath. His ears seemed to relax a little.
“Oh yes, I know. Us poor helpless omegas. Just can’t make it on our own, we need a big strong alpha to take care of us,” Alastor muttered.
“I don’t think you need an alpha. But I think it would help at times like this. We all need help sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with letting people care about you.”
Alastor scoffed and didn’t reply. Lucifer kept rubbing, glad that he wasn’t trying to push him away now.
“Are your heats bad?” Lucifer asked.
“They used to be. But I’ve drugged myself to the point I barely get them now,” Alastor replied. “Now, there’s only… I get heat flashes. Pain. I get more emotional. I ignore it. Eventually it passes.”
“Man. I’m really sorry that you have to go through that. I wish you had someone who could be there with you, so you wouldn’t have to be in so much pain.”
“I can deal with it. I’ve been dealing with it for a long time now.”
“Yeah, but I can still wish you didn’t have to.” Lucifer moved a little closer, tentatively letting more of his own pheromones out, hoping to calm the other. Alastor was still holding his stomach, but slowly, he dropped his arms. He ran his fingers through the grass, then sat back on his heels, dropping his head into his hands. It was a display of vulnerability that Lucifer didn’t often see from him, and he said nothing, just offering his presence.
“Has anyone ever told you you smell like a freshly-baked apple pie?” Alastor said after a couple minutes.
Lucifer chuckled. “Yeah. Hear it all the time. Do you like it?”
“It makes me hungry. Though I doubt I could eat anything right now. Don’t tell anyone you found me in such a sorry state.”
“Hey, you’re good, I can keep your secrets. But I am worried about you, and I’m sure the others would be too. You should ease up on the suppressants. Especially if you’re gonna be drinking too. And smoking…”
“I’ll be fine.”
“I wish you didn’t feel like you had to hurt yourself like this, but I understand. It’s your way of protecting yourself,” Lucifer sighed. He gave Alastor a final pat and stood up. “Well, I’ll give you some space then. But if you need anything, you can talk to me.” He walked away, and he heard a faint noise from Alastor. He turned, heart racing, to see him staring at him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then he shook his head and gestured for him to keep going.
“Yes. Go on. I’ll be back inside shortly.”
Lucifer went back inside, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how miserable Alastor had looked and how much he wanted to hug him. It was a tragedy what he put himself through. Part of Lucifer wanted to go back out there, use his alpha voice to compel Alastor into his arms, let him hug him until he felt better. But he knew it didn’t work that way. Alastor would be furious if Lucifer used his abilities like that. Their relationship was dicey, but they were slowly finding their way to a place of trust, and between all their bickering they had what Lucifer could call an odd friendship. Though he doubted Alastor saw it that way. Still, Lucifer didn’t want to ruin what good will Alastor did have toward him.
Lucifer wanted to hang around until Alastor came back inside too, but he decided it would be best to give him space right now. He went to find Charlie.
“Hey, sweetie,” he said when he found her. “Alastor’s been looking pretty stressed out lately. Don’t really want to get into his business, but I think we should give him a bit of a break.”
“Yeah, he has been working really hard,” Charlie said. “He’s been looking pale lately, do you think he’s sick?”
“He wouldn’t tell us if he was,” Lucifer sighed, and she sighed too, nodding in agreement.
“True, he’s really stubborn about that kind of thing. I’ll just give him some easier things to do. One of your servants was asking for more to do anyway.”
Lucifer nodded and patted her shoulder, then wished her a good night. He went to his suite, and once he was inside, he thought more about Alastor as he changed into his pajamas. He really did hope he had helped Alastor find some amount of peace. He climbed into bed, getting comfortable and pulling over a duck plushie to snuggle. He idly stroked its beak as he drifted off, eventually dropping into a lonely sleep.