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beomseok stared into the mirror. The outfit he picked out the afternoon before suddenly showed too much. It was May and so humid, but he couldn't wear shorts, at least not now. That would show too many bruises, too much color. The short-sleeved graphic t-shirt revealed the cuts littering her skin from the bottle his father threw toward his head. he had used his arms as a shield so he didn't get his head sliced open. he adjusted his bangs, trying to cover the bandaid on his forehead as much as he could. It didn't work very well, the corner peaking out where his bangs shortened.
he shuffled through his drawers, settling for a pair of sweatpants and searched for a black, tight fitted long sleeve shirt. It would be so obvious he was hiding something. No one wears long sleeves during spring, but he hoped he could pull it off that he was sick and running cold.
he looked in the mirror one last time, confirming nothing was showing. he scrambled through his drawers, finding the bandages stuffed deep under piles of clothes. he wrapped up his cuts with them, feeling the sting of too deep wounds. he stuffed the rest into the front pocket of his backpack.
he shuffled out his room and into the kitchen, finding the maid cleaning up the broken glass from the blood, a couple pieces still stained with blood. he remembered having to pick out the pieces from her hands when he fell onto it. he watched the maid move around, beginning to set the table with a bowl of porridge and a spoon.
“beomseok, your father requested you eat this morning.” the maid said, her voice echoing over the expanse of the kitchen.
"I'm not hungry.” his voice was hoarse.
“Your father will be upset.”
“I'll pass.” he walked toward the door, sparring one last glance at the maid scrubbing at a red spot on the edge of the couch before leaving.
“beomseok! Wait up!” he turned and saw his group of friends, pausing her steps to wait up for them. suho caught up first, wrapping an arm around beomseok’s shoulders. his fingertips grazed right above the bruise on his shoulder and he had to suppress a shiver.
“Did you study for the biology test?” suho asked.
“Nope, I was too tired last night.” beomseok felt bad for lying.
"I'm so done for. You're so lucky you don't have to study to get good grades.” suho dropped his head onto beomseok’s shoulders, sighing deeply.
his friends started engaging in conversation, beomseok stuck in the middle of it. They walked up the hilltop school, joining the mob of people going into the school building.
“Okay everyone, please get into groups of 4! No more, no less. Do I make myself clear?” the teacher yelled after going over the project details.
“Crystal.” he heard suho mutter.
The class started dispersing and it got really loud. his head started to hurt. he would have skipped school today but he already had 4 absences, and any more than that and his mother would get upset.
“We only have 3 people, we need to find someone else.” sieun said, now standing behind beomseok with his hands on his shoulders.
“We can wait until most people form groups and ask the teacher for any strays.” beomseok said
“Yea, sounds good.”
suho and sieun started planning the project and gesturing to the imaginary poster.
"Does anyone need a group?” the teacher yelled over the class commotion. suho raised his hand, and the teacher talked to some boy in the front, pointing between him and the group. beomseok watched the boy turn, look at them, decide they're worthy enough, and grab his backpack and begin to move.
“Hi, I'm sieun, that’s suho, and beomseok.”
“I’m wooyoung.” he said flatly.
“our plan for the project…” beomseok watched wooyoung listen to sieun talk, seemingly paying attention to his rambling.
“When are we working on the project?” he asked.
“We were planning on going to beomseok’s house after school if that's okay with you. If so, meet us by the gates after the last bell.”
beomseok stood with suho while waiting for sieun. he doubted wooyoung would show up but he still hoped for some reason. Usually, beomseok wouldn't let anyone into his house especially after things were broken, but the maid had come by and his father shouldn't be home until next week. At least he hoped.
“wooyoung! Over here!” suho waved her hand to grab her attention. wooyoung diverted from her straight lined path to meet them. sieun followed soon after.
“We have to walk to my house, it's not far though, so don't worry.” beomseok said, setting the pace and deciding the way they took there. he decided to take the longer route, but it also followed the more scenic route instead of just houses.
“Wow, you live in a very nice neighborhood.” wooyoung awed.
“Yeah, his dad's like super rich.” suho said, staring at the houses and trees as they passed.
beomseok walked up the pathway to his house and punched in the code to the door. The door opened with a familiar click, and he pushed the door open and stepped inside to hold the door for the others.
“Very… spacious.” wooyoung said before stepping in after everyone else.
“Uhm, give me a second I just need to clean up my room a bit.” beomseok started stepping toward the hallway, watching them over his shoulder so that they didn't follow. he opened the door and realized how bad the mess he left was. A pile of clothes next to his bed and first aid supplies littering his desk. he moved the pile of clothes to his closet and shoved the supplies into his desk drawer, then stood back to make sure nothing was out of order.
When he left his room, he saw her friends just standing in her foyer a little awkwardly.
“You guys can come in, you know that right?” he said, gesturing a hand toward the hallway. They followed suit, their steps matching beomseok’s.
Compared to the rest of the house, his room seemed pretty small, but he liked it that way. Posters filled the walls and souvenirs on his shelves from her travels. his room had personality, unlike the open space of his house. he flicked the lamp on, the room filling with warm light.
“We can work on the floor.” he grabbed a couple pillows from his bed for them to sit on.
They mapped out how the poster would go, but soon realized that they would actually need a poster board to work on. sieun and wooyoung ran to the store to get it. When they got back, they assigned roles. beomseok was assigned poster work since he had the neatest handwriting, suho on evidence, sieun on analysis, and wooyoung on proof reading.
wooyoung went over the rubric one last time, placing down the rubric saying “We should be guaranteed 100.”
“Help me clean up and then you guys can go if you want.” beomseok said, all of them moving to pick up the scrap papers and pens and markers loitering the floor.
“Alright, we're out, see you at school tomorrow.” sieun waved as he followed wooyoung and suho out his room.
he heard the door click shut, and he let out a sigh of relief he didn't realize he needed. he pushed his sleeves past her elbows, pulling on a pair of shorts, finally getting some relief to the warmth.
he shuffled out the hall and into the kitchen, stopping by the sink to wash off marker residue on his hands. he tugged open the fridge, staring at the lack of everything. he found a container of leftovers in the back of the fridge that he hoped wasn't too old . he heard the sound of footsteps, but he brushed it off as some sort of trauma response. he obviously wasn't proud of it but he had to come to terms with it eventually.
he turned around to put the container on the counter but instead found wooyoung perched on the edge.
“Oh my lord, don't scare a guy like that.” he yelped, clutching his chest like he was having a heart attack.
he noticed wooyoung's eyes drifting downward. What the hell? he thought, until he followed his gaze. And that's when it hit him. his legs, bruised and bloody, out in the open. his arms, bandaged with slight red spots cutting through the surface
Oh my god.
“It's not what it looks like.”
“I was using the bathroom, wanted to scare you a little when I saw you in the kitchen.” wooyoung explained
“I- the- I don't ask for it.” beomseok stumbled over his words, trying to keep nonchalant and like it was no big deal (which it was).
“You don't have to tell me anything, you didn't know I was still here anyway.” he said, his eyes devoid of any bad intentions. beomseok hummed in acknowledgement, slowly turning back around and putting his food in the microwave.
he watched the timer tick down, waiting for the beep signaling it was done.
he sat next to wooyoung on the counter, his food in hjs lap, and grabbed a fork from the drawer.
“Why are you still here?” beomseok found himself asking. “I’m bored, and the house is too quiet today. My mom's working overtime today and my dad usually gets home late. And plus I have no idea how to get back.”
“I can show you,” I answered. Why am I doing this right now?
“Thank you."
beomseok washed the container, drying it swiftly. he jogged back to his room, tugging the sweatpants back on before following wooyoung out.
he walked ahead, hearing the footsteps of the man behind him, the feeling oddly comforting.
beomseok saw the school in his line of view, and stopped on the corner of the block, wooyoung continuing straight with a wave goodbye. he watched his retreating figure, a sense of loneliness washing over him.
When he got back to his house, his steps faltered at the sight of the black car in her driveway, the license plate confirming it was his father. he felt a spike of fear engrave itself into his stomach, his heart beginning to beat an uneven rhythm.
he slowly punched in the door code, lightly tapping the door to push the door open as if to brace for impact. he didn't hear anything. No footsteps, no tapping of glass on marble. Absolute silence. he slipped inside, carefully sliding out his shoes, placing them on the rack.
Nothing looked out of place, but the atmosphere felt different. heavier. he tiptoed to his room, slowly shutting the door to make a sound. he turned the lock, then tested the door, making sure it worked. he sunk down, bringing his knees to his chest, leaning his body weight against the door.
he heard a dull thud from the living room, his pulse spiking. he heard footsteps going up the stairs and a door slamming shut, rattling the walls. he let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. he rested his head on his knees, sleep overtaking him.
beomseok woke up with his back and neck aching with dull pain. Everything was so quiet. No floorboards creaking, no drip of water from the faucet, no TV playing the news.
he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. 1:53 am. he unlocked his door, avoiding the loose floorboards as he tiptoed to the bathroom.
he ran the shower, listening to the water hit the tile. After a couple minutes, he took off the sticky bandages to get into the shower.
The warm water burned on the blood, beginning to pool on some of his deeper cuts.
he slipped up. he didn't realize he was still in the presence of a guest one he barely knew. But his reaction wasn't bad. There really wasn't one at all, actually.
beomseok sighed and began washing his body, his hands sliding over the raised skin and rough scars.
he wondered if wooyoung actually knew what happened. What does he think of me now? Usually, he wasn't one to care too much about what other people thought about him, but wooyoung felt… the best way to describe it was different. he shut off the water, a couple drops still trickling out the shower head. he slid into his clothes and rubbed violently at his hair with the towel.
he cracked the door open, hearing the sound of a TV from her father's office, the absence of silence grounding.
he locked the door and slid into his covers, despite the spring heat. he closed his eyes, this time imagining nothing instead of his father.
he was walking to school when he spotted wooyoung. when they made eye contact, wooyoung had genuine eyes and didn't seem too much different. Good. beomseok thought.
After school, he parted ways with suho as he walked home. he saw the car in his driveway and hoped it would be calm like last night.
The numbers on the pad beeped as he tapped them, the door opening with the automatic click. he pushed the door open more, finding his father slumped on the couch with an arm slung around the back of the cushion.
beomseok walked slowly around the couch, suddenly feeling the coldness of her fathers hand on his wrist.
Not again. beomseok thought.
his father let go and walked off to his office which he could see from where he was standing. He gestured for him to come inside. beomseok moved cautiously, silently hoping this was an apology or reconciliation.
he got within his reach within a couple seconds. He reached out a head to his head. beomseok flinched back, honestly terrified. He put his hand on the crown of his head, painfully grabbing his hair and shoving him inside, the door slamming mercilessly after his father.
he cowered on the floor, slightly curled in on himself, using her arms to shield his head.
He was yelling, spouting nonsense that likely had nothing to do with him. He threw something toward his direction, making him roll over to dodge it.
beomseok watched his father stomp around the office with scared eyes. He was rambling loudly, but thankfully didn't seem to be making any effort toward him. his vision started to blur a bit. he blinked rapidly to stop tears from falling.
He left with zero acknowledgement to beomseok or the mess his office now was. he heard the automatic click of the front door and then the starting of a car engine.
he lied on the floor for a while. he didn't know how long he sat there, but he knew that the clock ticked a steady beat.
he finally looked up, the clock's hour hand on the 6. The living room felt like it was closing in on him despite the expanse of it. his room felt even worse, the silence making it hard to breathe. I can't spend another second in this house, he decided. he took his phone out with shaky hands and scrolled through his contacts.
suho, busy. sieun, didn't let anyone in his house. juntae, lives too far. gotak, he wouldn't understand. Then he found herself hovering over wooyoung's contact. The one he had been given on a whim. But no one else knew. Hell, wooyoung probably didn't either, at least not fully. But he felt the tug in his heart. he pressed the message button, fingers typing despite the unsteadiness of it.
“I can't stay in my house tonight.” he typed.
The reply was almost instant, wooyoung's words short.
“I'll meet you at the school.” Perfect grammar, perfect punctuation. It would have felt like a hint if beomseok wasn't so desperate to escape the hell-hole his house currently felt like. he dragged on her jacket and shoes, slinging his backpack lazily over his shoulders.
The spring air was slightly chill, making him tug his hoodie closer to his body. his steps were a bit uneven from how shaky they felt. Some steps are taken quickly, others slow.
When the school came onto view, he saw wooyoung leaning on the ledge near the gates. When wooyoung saw her, he jogged over, his expression quickly changing to one of concern.
“Oh my… are you good?” he asked, looking at beomseok with concern on his face.
“I'm fine.” his tone was cold and clipped.
“Sure… I don't live far so it shouldn't take too long.” he followed wooyoung, staring into the back of his head. The familiar figure was helping to steady his breathing.
wooyoung stopped in front of a small house, warm light shining through the front windows. The porch light illuminated the pathway leading to the front door.
he pulled out a worn set of keys, turning the 2 locks of the screen and main door.
“wooyoung, why'd you leave so late?” he heard an older male voice say.
“My friend needs a place to stay for the night.” wooyoung said as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.
“Are they hungry? Dinner's almost ready.” The voice called out.
“Have you eaten yet?” wooyoung turned to him
“I’m not hungry.” he replied
“You sure? Dad usually makes enough for a village.”
“It’s fine.”
“Okay, well my room is up the stairs, the left door. Do not go right, that’s my sister's room. I’ll meet you there, I just need to shower real quick.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
wooyoung pulled off his shoes, shoving them toward the side. beomseok did the same, though a bit hesitantly. he followed wooyoung's directions, slowly stepping up the steep steps. his room was clean, but everything was blue. Pale blue walls, navy bedsheets, teal pillowcases, a sky blue rug, and a shark plushie sitting on his made bed. It was honestly impressive. he sat next to the door, knees to his chest. he felt sort of… jealous. Of how easily he talked to his dad, how comfortably he moved in his own house, clearly feeling safe within the 4 walls. It was obvious wooyoung was actually loved in that house, his life being everything beomseok’s wasn’t. he felt even worse now, his breathing growing a bit erratic again.
Maybe this was a bad idea. beomseok thought.
he heard someone coming up the steps, the door soon swinging open with wooyoung drying his hair with a towel.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” wooyoung asked, his voice soft as if to try and calm beomseok down. he thought about the question for a second. he felt safe within his presence, but he didn’t know if he should trust wooyoung so easily. “We can always talk after dinner. By the way, my dad says he wants you to eat since my sister said she wasn’t hungry.” beomseok nodded, feeling ease slowly undoing the ache in his heart.
“I mean we can both take my bed I guess, it’s big enough for both of us to fit comfortably I think.” wooyoung said, extending a hand to beomseok to help him up. “Are you hurt or anything?” beomseok honestly hadn’t thought about that. he didn’t feel the pain, but then again she usually didn’t. As if on cue, he felt a slight pain on his stomach, and sliding his hand onto it, his hand coming back covered in blood. he didn’t know how he didn’t realize it, but he probably brushed it off as a reopened wound from 2 days ago.
“Okay, I got bandages in my bathroom, just give me a second.” wooyoung left and came back with a bottle of isopropyl alcohol and a roll of gauze.
he sat beomseok back down, urging him to lie down as he slid his shirt slightly up to clean the wound. beomseok had no idea why he was letting him do this, but all he knew was that it felt nice to be taken care of for once.
wooyoung worked precisely and with a tenderness beomseok never felt when he treated his own wounds. he should be a doctor.
“Next time you get hurt, come to me, okay?” wooyoung said. beomseok noticed he wasn’t working on his stomach anymore and instead on his arms, cleaning up wounds that beomseok didn’t clean properly. he found herself smiling at the idea. he ended up caring for all of his wounds, including the ones on his legs and side. beomseok was reluctant when wooyoung was trying to prod at his legs, but ended up not regretting letting him do so. his presence felt more comforting than any playlist could do for him.
beomseok ate dinner with wooyoung's parents. he felt a bit bad for crashing at the last minute, but his dad made it very clear that it was a choice he wanted to make.
Afterward, wooyoung urged him to get rest in him bed since it was nearly 10 pm.
beomseok remained a decent distance from wooyoung, as much as he could given they were both on the same bed. however, when he got up in the middle of night as usual, he found himself in wooyoung's arms, nuzzled in the space between his shoulder and chin. and he didnt hate it, in fact he snuggled closer to the warmth that was wooyoung's body. the action caused the man to stir, his eyes fluttering open to check on beomseok.
“go back to sleep” wooyoung said, dazed and raspy from sleep beomseok slid his arm around wooyoung's waist, earning an arm around his shoulders.
beomseok fell asleep within the presence of wooyoung, a man he met days ago and yet felt the closest he felt to happiness with.