Chapter Text
Alice’s fingers gripped the empty orange bottle as though she could will a few more pills into existence. She shook it again hoping for the noise of one rattling, one she’d somehow not spotted though the warped plastic to no avail. She’d definitely ran out.
Shit.
The young woman dropped the bottle into the sink and ran her hands over her face. It felt greasy, she hadn’t left her bed for a few days let alone thought to wash her face, self care comes second when you’re saving your medication for an important meeting and surviving the few days without them becomes priority.
The water was red hot, it felt like she’d just shoved her hands into a fireplace.
Wait, when did I turn the tap on? When did I move my hands?
She pulled her hands back from the faucet slowly, hardly registering the white hot pain shooting up her nerves and stared at the now running water. When had she turned that on? Had the water been running for days? Oh no… The bill this month wouldn’t be forgiving.
Alice stared at the water. The world felt so distant, the world didn’t exist.
Alice kept staring at the water.
“The meeting, Miss Kirkland!” A little voice squeaked from just behind her, breaking her trance.
“Oh!” Alice looked up at the mirror although she knew Flying mint bunny left no reflection “Yes, right. The meeting… Thank you, Minty.”
She paused, taking in what she’d just heard. Minty was back already? This wasn’t right, it had only been a few days hadn’t it? It was quite nice to hear the bunny again, things got so lonely she’d question what to even do without a part of her missing.
“You’re uh… You’re back?” She added hesitantly
“You need to make yourself presentable, Miss Kirkland. You represent the great United Kingdom!” The voice ignored her question but Alice had already moved on from it, losing herself in the mirror.
“Miss Kirkland?”
Alice stared into the mirror. The thing that stared back with knotted hair and greasy skin couldn’t be her.
“Miss Kirkland!” A small weight landed on her shoulder anchoring her back from the mirror.
Her bangs flew into her eyes as she shook her head and turned to look at the soft animal perched on her.
“Yes, yes yes-” She stumbled over her words “I’m here. The meeting, yes. Yes, the meeting…”
Alice hastily cleared her throat and dried her hands on the clothes she’d adorned for days.
“I’m getting ready now go away, I like my privacy, Minty.”
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Alice was the last to enter the board room and her uncharacteristic lateness did not go unnoticed by the other countries in attendance. She pushed the door open with more force than needed and stepped forwards in a slight daze.
That was far too rough, why won’t my hands cooperate?
The faces of everyone blurred together making identifying them only possible from this far by the colour of their clothes, was the table always that far away from the door? The room was turning slowly on its side as her body pressed into the door frame to stay upright.
“Did you dress yourself in the dark, Mademoiselle England?” Françoise’s voice rang out from across the room.
“Yes… I mean, no.” Alice stumbled over her words pushing away from the door frame and towards her seat at the table. Walking wouldn’t be the right word, it felt more as though she was floating across the room to where she was supposed to already be half an hour ago. Foot in front of foot, left and then right, that’s all she needed to do. Left and right, good. Now closer as she reached for her chair and fingers brushed past it the first time, Françoise’s face was clearer, and Alice unwillingly got a better look at the last person she wanted to see. Her hair fell loose in curls that were enragingly effortless with small pieces that framed her face perfectly, her face dolled up for such a mundane event and painted lips pulled into a wry smile.
The meeting began around Alice as she leaned forward in her chair, their voices said words but they didn’t seem to mean anything, just words for the sake of it. Something important said by Honda, Amelie being too loud, it made Alice realise just how badly her head hurt. A dull, pounding ache that came in waves, easy to manage lying in the dark but here surrounded by so many people speaking over each other it became pure misery to endure. She sunk her head down to rest on top of her crossed arms on the desk.
Just get through this, you represent the great United Kingdom. Your sisters count on you, Alice. Don't let them down, just get through this and-
“Miss Kirkland! She’s speaking to you!” The bunny’s voice broke her peace.
“Pardon?” Alice’s head shot up in fear of missing her chance to speak. Nobody was looking at her, Minty was wrong.
“I said, are you drunk?” The familiar thick accent of the woman beside her spoke in a low voice, breaking her rest before she’d gotten the chance to get back to it. Alice could hear the grin on Françoise’s rose tinted lips without turning her head.
“Excuse you? Of course I wouldn’t be fucking drunk at something like this!” Alice whisper-yelled back indignantly.
“Mmm, of course you wouldn’t.” Françoise drawled, scooting her chair closer to the shorter woman “So why does the beautiful Mademoiselle England looks such a state this morning?”
Françoise leaned in to wrap an arm around her waist under the table. “Because you are acting like this is your first day on earth, Mon amour.”
Alice didn’t answer, she wouldn’t normally dignify the sickening nicknames with a response anyway, that could be played off. Did she really look a mess? Getting dressed had felt like a fever dream but Flying mint bunny assured her she looked perfectly respectable and Minty can see better than her, right? She let her head rest on her arms again, it hurt, it hurt so bad. She only skipped a few days of dosages and Minty was already back as well as the withdrawal symptoms, it really was a stupid idea to save them up, as though they could’ve magically kicked in with only a few hours to work before the meeting.
The knowledge that she’d be in this same situation even if she did have a dosage leftover brought some comfort, her fate was sealed days ago so there was no need to kick herself for miscounting. But still, if she’d just reordered them when she was supposed to she wouldn’t look such a fool right now. Her thoughts were broken once again by Françoise’s voice.
“Is… Something actually wrong? Or are you just embarrassed?” The taller woman’s tone had shifted, just as hushed as before but softer, almost worried “I won’t tell if you really are just drunk, just tell me if something is wrong, ma chérie…”
Alice didn’t answer, she could sense something dark and looming standing over her. The world felt so far away other than Françoise who had a gentle but firm hold on her waist now. Something was standing behind her she just knew it, something with a horrid looking face and the more she thought about it the higher the risk it would know that she knew it was there… But nothing was actually there, she knew it wasn’t real, but that did little to make it any less frightening even after all these years.
“Alice…” She began again
“Just be quiet!” Alice cut her off, louder than even she expected it to be, it didn’t feel like the noise was coming from her.
The distant speaking of the meeting had come to a pause, they must all be looking at her, at the state of the representative of the United Kingdom. What an idiot, why did she even come?
They’re all staring, I should be doing something right now, apologizing for interrupting maybe? Apologizing for being late, apologizing for humiliating my country, apologizing for even turning up.
Lift your head up, that’s all you have to do. Show them you’re not drunk! They can’t think that of me…
Alice still didn’t, she kept her head down. It ached and everything was too far away for her to try, she closed her eyes tight and tried to wish the time away.
“Miss Kirkland?” Minty whispered warily
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“...Should we call someone?”
“Non, she will not appreciate that.”
The voices were distant but the accents unmistakable to Alice, that bloody American and frog! Her body was as limp as a ventriloquist’s dummy, slumped against something far softer than the desk-
Wait, what happened to the desk?
“Wellll I don’t think she really gets a say ya know, Francie. She’s looking a bit-”
“Do not say it, Amérique.”
Whatever she was leaning against shifted and pulled her closer, wrapping her in the misty scent of rose water and something she couldn’t quite distinguish but whatever it was, it smelled expensive. Probably Louis Vuitton… Françoise always had such expensive taste, Alice recalled a few decades ago when she saved for months to buy her a handbag and the sheer stress that she felt when her, um, acquaintance first laid eyes on it…
Françoise had in fact adored it, earning Alice a kiss on the cheek, the ultimate sign that she’d done a good job, always unexpected but not as terrible as the others make it sound. Just a seal of approval from the extravagant woman, not that Alice wanted it however.
“I’m kidding! I know she isn’t dead…”
A pause.
“I mean like, she isn’t right?”
“Non, she is not. She’s breathing.”
“What’s wrong with her then? She isn’t just sleeping so like”
“I don’t know, I thought she was drunk but now I’m not entirely sure” Françoise tutted although Alice felt the arms cradling her tighten their grip.
“Miss Kirkland…” The little voice, Flying mint bunny, began “Are you awake yet?”
‘Yes, I’m awake’ Alice said internally wishing the bunny could hear her thoughts. The feeling in her limbs had come back but the idea of opening her eyes and speaking wasn’t fathomable, she was buried underground, or in a thick fog, or underwater, whatever metaphor the people in her head watching this unfold prefer.
At least Françoise is somewhat comfortable to be stuck next to… Physically that is. An extended time in the Frog’s presence is excruciating but her cloak is made of a soft fleece material and she doesn’t feel like sitting on a bag of bones… She’s actually very comfortable. Not the point.
“Aliceeee…” Amelia whispered “Alllliiiicccceeee… If you don’t get up I’m gonna draw something on your face!”
“Amérique. Take a walk.” Françoise’s voice was stern as a set of footsteps trudged back out the room. A sigh left her lips as she lifted her fingers to Alice’s neck to feel her pulse.
“What’s gotten into you, ma chérie? You caused quite the scene back there, very unlike the polite lady you claim to be” She laughed a little in an attempt to relieve the tension in her own body, it didn’t seem to work.
Caused a scene? Fuck, did I? Or is she just trying to wake me up? She must be joking, bloody frog only uses those sickening pet names to get a rise out of me.
“Stop it with the ridiculous names, Frog.” Alice’s hoarse voice finally broke the quiet. The harsh tone she’d planned hadn’t left her mouth at all, her voice mimicking that of someone who still thought cigarettes were healthy.
“Ah,” The arms around Alice relaxed their grip as Françoise let out a breath “Good morning, Mademoiselle England! Have a good nap?” Her tone switched back to its natural snarky state, it suited her much more to Alice, her enraging snark and lustful quips are what make the French woman who she is, not speaking sweetly. At least, not when Françoise knew she could hear it, that’s just wrong.
She didn’t answer her, slowly sinking back into her arms and letting the world fade back away.
“Alice? Alice, don’t make me take you home.”