Chapter Text
Sebek was envious.
Not in a heavy, overwhelming hatred, but in a quiet way that made him stare at the other couples in the hallway and then look away with a jumbled mind. He had watched multiple couples form just in his first year at Night Raven College; Silver had gotten himself the courage to ask out Kalim, and they had started dating almost immediately. He wanted someone or something like that; he wanted someone to take him on dates or to give him kisses.
Sebek watched as his friends ended up in relationships around him, even his liege had gotten himself a partner. Of course, he was happy for him. When his friends, Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Jack, had finally started dating each other, it wasn't surprising in the slightest, but it made him feel left out on some occasions.
He just wanted someone who was like the romance novels he'd read in the past. The half-fae had grown up reading and making up fantasies of lovers who would cross worlds, or just pure affection between the main character and the love interest.
He'd always assumed he would have someone waiting and yearning for him, but was he just going to be the background character who never found anyone?
"-Hey Sebek!"
. . .
" Sebek?"
A familiar blue-haired heartslabyul student with a spade on his cheek that was carefully added with makeup, put his hand on his shoulder cautiously,
Sebek blinked once or twice before properly focusing on Deuce, "Oh- What is it that you need, human?" When he answered, he felt embarrassed about how spaced out he was. He was supposed to be alert and prepared, like a proper retainer for his liege!
"I was going to ask if you wanted to study in the library after this class with the rest of the group."
"Oh. Ahem, I would be honoured to."
. . .
"What the hell are you yammering about!? Clearly, that's a purple potion, so why is it RED?" Epel had yelled at Ace when he showed the potion he had made. In the book, it was clearly a dark lavender with a few yellow shimmers of sparkles in it. Ace threw up his hands before starting to defend himself with a clearly made-up excuse of "It's a purple-red!"
Deuce turnt to Jack for help with history homework while pointing towards question 11 with confusion. Ortho hovered around trying to help the others with certain mistakes, while Sebek had honestly already finished his homework 30 minutes ago. He had silently been watching the rest of them flow with ease. His vibrant green eyes catalogued the hand-holding under the table between Ace and Deuce, the brushing shoulders between Epel and Ace, and Jack and Epel staring at each other now and then. The little interactions made Sebek's eyes go wide before looking away again.
After all, all of them had great chemistry anyway. They're like peas in a pod, while Sebek showed up slightly late to the group. He was bound to get left out of things.
.
They're your friends, you shouldn't be jealous.
You're being selfish for thinking like this; just be happy for them.
Maybe you just aren't cut out for romance like the rest of them.
Is this really how the retainer of Malleus Draconia and the grandson of Baul Zigvolt would act?
Get yourself together.
Sebek was walking towards lunch before pausing as he watched Scarabia's housewarden give Silver a hug that had seemed tight by how Silver stood, and a kiss on the lips while he was at it. Al-Asim had pulled away before skipping away to his other friends, while Silver walked with him with a quiet smile. The retainer had to admit that Silver had found himself quite a catch. They were perfect.
His eyes looked in between at their holding hands. Staring at them and imagining himself with someone, although that someone was a blank face, someone made up, because he didn't have his someone yet.
.
Not like Silver. Not like everyone who at least had their someone.
I guess I'm was just different.
Maybe it was truly my fault for even thinking about this.
I want someone to like me.
It's whatever, I have my loyalty and training to focus on, not silly romance.
When Sebek finally dragged himself to bed after a long day, his roommate was missing. Most likely hanging out with his friends. He sighed heavily before going to shower.
Before getting in, all he saw was his reflection staring at him. The worn out reflection that had envied others for their perfect relationships and perfect grades and perfect everything. Maybe they weren't all perfect but still.
The lime haired half fae dragged himself to bed as steam curled out of the shower. He stayed awake for awhile before eventually feeling his eyelids start to drop and he was out like a light.
Maybe he could dream up his romance too.