Chapter Text
“I’d hate to know what you think about me,” Looped in her mind even hours after her shift from hell. As much as she had wished to stop all human interactions for that day after walking out of the PTMC, her parents had other plans, giving her just enough time to take a shower and get ready to go to a family friend’s house to 'just say hi and catch the last of the fireworks.' Allegedly.
“We’ll just stay 20 minutes, Victoria.” Quickly turned into her drinking an energy drink from the snacks table at 12 a.m. when the pair of elder doctors were very obviously nowhere near even starting their goodbyes. That was how she found herself, then, at 2 a.m., 20 minutes after getting home, ruminating through her thoughts in bed trying to bore herself to sleep, because counting sheep was not enough to combat the buzz the caffeine and sugar had activated in her body.
So, yeah. The logical thing to do was to go through every single part of her shift in her mind. She could’ve also doomscrolled on TikTok, but that was going to fuck up her screen time for the day, which she was really trying to keep under 5 hours. She started thinking about her day at the hospital: the good, the bad, the chart she is pretty sure she made a typo on that she’ll have to check when she gets a chance. That's how she landed on Whitaker's words after she had gone on a criticizing rant about every single one of her dayshift coworkers—which she really hoped none of them would ever find out about, or she’d have to take Mateo up on the offer to change to the night shift for a bit, or forever.
“I’d hate to know what you think about me.” What did she think about him?
On their first day at the PTMC together, she thought he was funny, like a pet the first day you bring it home, and it doesn’t know what to do with itself. Which is weird, cause she was also a new pet and didn’t know what to do with herself, though she was sure her newness came off as more embarrassing than endearing like his. Maybe they were pets picked up at the same shelter; was Trinity from the same shelter? Anyway, that didn't matter.
The thing is, she grew closer to Whitaker during their shifts together over the last few months. He saw her grow into a better doctor—“I am certainly less embarrassing than on my first day here,” she told him when he made it a point to tell her how confidence looked good on her after she fought him on a patient’s treatment, and Samira announced that she was right. The cocky smile on her face faltered a bit when she turned around, expecting to find Whitaker defeated, but instead, he was nodding and smiling at her like he was… proud? Weird—And she saw him grow, literally.
He was by no means ugly at first, but he wasn’t her type. He was clumsy and weird, again, it was like he had no idea how to fit in, but a few months had gone by, and he was just much more…competent. That was the word, competent. He made very few mistakes, amended those he did make, was at the right places at the right times to help people even when it wasn’t his responsibility, and that was all fine with her; it never made her feel anything other than a slight admiration for her fellow coworker. But then Valentine's Day came around.
It’s not like Whitaker invited her on a date or something, no, he would never do that, obviously. Valentine's Day was a weird shift; it was busy, but not really, and most of the cases that came in were food allergies newly discovered at romantic lunches, cuts on inexperienced boyfriends trying to make said lunches, and…erotic mishaps. But for some reason, they were all exhausted enough to gather at the small square in front of the PTMC. Little by little, everyone started saying their goodbyes, rushing to get home to their partners, friends, or other better plans than getting slightly drunk with their coworkers.
Javadi had no such luck; she was honestly considering getting a Hinge date to spend the night, but the thought of spending a romantic holiday with a man she didn't know was too depressing to entertain. She planned to hang out at the square with her coworkers for as much time as she could; at least they were going to keep her entertained for a while. Now that she thought about it, it sounded as depressing as the Hinge date plan, but hey, at least she wasn't entertaining a weird man, right?
"I just don't think it is rational for them to end up together," Whitaker said. They were going into minute 30 of their heated debate over the possibility of Sydney and Carmy, from The Bear, ending up as a couple. "I genuinely think they'd get into screaming fits every day."
Javadi shook her head, "You just don't get it. They're like that because they're not together. It's the pent-up tension that makes them insane." She argued, and he nodded as if he agreed. She knew he didn't, but also that he preferred not to fight her on it anymore. They entertained this argument every so often, and he let her win every time.
Whitaker leaned in to take a beer from the cooler in front of them. In that moment of silence, Victoria took in their surroundings and was shocked to see they were completely alone. Well, not completely, some couples were strolling around in the distance, but she and Dennis were the only ones left from the Pitt Day Crew, as they called themselves ("You'll never be the Night Crawlers," Abbot teased them when he found out about the name.)
"Oh my God, where did everyone go?" She was still looking around, maybe they were still around.
"We've been alone for quite a while, I thought you had noticed," He looked at her while taking his pick of the beers before him.
"Well, no. I wouldn't want to keep you from whatever plans you have with my constant babbling about Sydney and Carmy." She wouldn't think about it much then, but at the thought of Whitaker having plans with someone that day, she felt a pang in her chest. Weird, she thought, but brushed it off as probably needing to get dinner.
"No plans for me today," He assured her, and opened his beer like he had no intentions of getting up from the bench anytime soon. "I don't even want to get home, considering Santos and Garcia are probably busy." She understood what he meant and giggled. "And honestly, even if I did have plans, I'm enjoying the company enough to have canceled them."
Victoria's heart did a little flip, which she also chose to ignore.
That night did wonders for them; they became even closer in a way she wouldn't have expected them to. They got coffee and hung out, discussed plans for their future, and, Victoria's pride and joy: she got Whitaker to create his own Letterboxd account. One of their preferred plans when they were both off and had nothing to do was to go to the indie movie theater that was just between their respective homes.
They'd seen a lot of movies together, some serious masterpieces for the world of film, but that wasn't always the case. There was a day when they stayed on their seats in silence until the theater workers started cleaning out, completely in shock at what they had watched.
"Thoughts?" he asked her. He always did, something about wanting the opinions of someone more versed in cinema.
"And prayers." She offered, which got a laugh out of him.
"You didn't rock with the werewolf mafia boss? Wow. Thought I was in the presence of an intellectual." She swatted his arm lightly, and he continued, "No, I'm serious. You were laughing so much I thought it would go straight to your favorite four."
"Because it was ridiculous! But like, I'm glad they got the budget to make it. Art is art, and I was entertained." She looked at him, "You were looking at me and laughing at my horrified face the whole time, do you even remember half of the movie to call it a masterpiece?"
"Don't worry about me. I was thoroughly entertained." He said while taking his phone out of his pocket and opening the Letterboxd app.
"Oh, are you logging it?" she tried to look at his phone, and he pulled it away from her, blocking her view. "You know that's not fair. I should not be forbidden from your Letterboxd account, you have it because of me!"
"I've already told you. The condition of my having a Letterboxd account was that it would be private."
"That's no fun. The whole point was that I'd get to see your reviews," She protested.
"Wasn't it so that I would broaden my knowledge about films?" He fought back, making air quotes with his fingers. He was right, that was what she'd told him, but she also wanted to snoop; she couldn't help it.
She knew this wasn't one of the fights he'd let her win, so she rolled her eyes and faked annoyance, still walking in sync with him. He was amused by her, found her fit cute, and kept writing his review while walking on the not at all busy sidewalk. When his guard was down, Javadi managed to sneak a peek at his phone just as he was about to hit the check button to post, and saw him adding a tag next to the «College Film» one. It read «Vic🫀» and she decided to push down the way the butterflies in her stomach went wild at the anatomically correct heart emoji.
Sleep was finally winning the war against the caffeine in her body; she gave full credit for the fact to thinking about Dennis, who always knew how to make her relax. She remembers one time they were watching a TV show at his and Trinity's apartment after Victoria had a rather explosive verbal fight with her mom in the middle of the ED, and she just didn't want to go back home. He immediately offered his bed to her, assuring her that their couch was comfortable enough for him if he wanted shelter at their house.
Trinity apologized to her for not being able to accompany her through her mommy issues night and went straight to bed. Javadi wasn't mad, honestly; she understood. If it wasn't for the rush of adrenaline going through her body after the fight, she would probably crash in bed as soon as she could, too.
Dennis was in the kitchen looking at the cupboards like they would grow arms and give him ingredients to make the perfect comfort food. "You know, I'm not really hungry," She announced, leaning against the doorframe.
Javadi wouldn't know this because he didn't say it out loud, but as Dennis saw her under the warm light of their flickering lightbulb, he was sure he'd never seen someone so beautiful. "Good, because my cooking skills are lacking after a 14-hour shift." That got a laugh out of her, he smiled. "Do you wanna go to sleep? I'll go to Santos' room and find some clothes for you to change into-"
"I'm also not sleepy, funnily enough." The sentence was laced with zero humor, yet he laughed; he'd laugh at any of her dry jokes. "Do you wanna watch something with me? I haven't been able to watch the new Abbott Elementary episode, and I think it would help me wind down."
To the trained ear, her last word overlapped with his quick reply, "Yeah, of course. The TV in my bedroom is better, do you wanna watch there or are you more comfortable down here?"
She actually paused for a second, and against the desires she had no time to get into, decided on the couch.
Fifteen minutes into the episode, she was relaxed enough to go to sleep, and Dennis' low laugh every time she compared him to Jacob was like a lullaby. Still, she really wanted to finish the episode, so she tried to push through it, and eventually, her body subconsciously leaned more and more into Dennis' body warmth and woody scent, which is how she ended up with her head on his lap, while he ran his hands softly through her hair. She didn't know if it was the sleep making her delusional, but she felt him tense up when she moved a bit.
Now, it was almost like she could feel those same hands on her hair again, creating a pattern of circles and lines rhythmically guiding her to sleep. And just like that day, she drifted into sleep thanks to Dennis' comfort.
The next day, she'd wake up to the terrible realization that she was not able to deny it any longer. She, Victoria Javadi, was falling in love with her best friend.