Archive of Our Own

Ivan’s eyes burned into Till’s, ravenous and unrelenting. Neither of them looked away as the tension continue to grow thicker every second. As a result, Till can hear his pulse on his ear, yet never backing down without a fight— or whatever they're doing right now.

That is, until Till blinked. A slow, victorious smirk displayed on Ivan’s lips. “I won.”

Till let out a scoff while frowning in confusion, "That's so random— We were just staring at each other, what do you mean you won????—" He cut himself off with a sigh, giving in to Ivan's weird ass. "Whatever. What was that earlier?"

Ivan, such a kind person he is, decided to drop his one-sided staring contest, and instead explain what he wanted like a proper human being would. "As I was saying, I wanna try and practice my vocals starting now."

Till tilted his head slightly, waiting for Ivan to elucidate the random mention of vocals, but seeing as Ivan made no indication that he will, Till instead took the action, "And… What's the thought process in this??"

Ivan smiled as he leaned back slightly, but it lacked the sharp teasing curve that usually set Till on fire; this time, something fragile and genuine bloomed behind it. It was the kind that Till witnessed only once in a blue moon. Ivan scratched the back of his neck slowly, glancing away for a second, a rare glimpse of hesitation, before finally making a choice to meet Till’s gaze once more, in a direct and unshielded manner.

"After finding out about that secret band thing you're doing, I got kinda hooked on the idea.." He stumbles over his own tongue, it's clear he's a stranger to the art of confession, Because, pray tell, if he is so well-versed in it— why oh why is his neck painted in a hot red that needs no translation? Even pressing a closed fist to his mouth, clearing his throat to chase away the hesitation before continuing his clarification.

"I couldn’t stop thinking about how... free you are when you’re performing. The way you look when you’re up there… wild, bright, and just— completely in your zone. Ah. My bad, I'm just kind of yapping now" Ivan chuckled, taking a breath to steady his racing thoughts.

"In summary, I want to join you. Like… uhm… actually be in the band with you..?" Till stopped breathing in the process. The world slowing around him as his mind tried to piece the reality together.

First, Ivan complimented him right to his face. Ivan! who usually masked every sincere emotion with sharp wits and biting jests. And second, Ivan wanted to join him?? His gig? that he hid from every eye, to let the nagging world pass by?

Think about it! The whispers followed him everywhere, from the university halls to the streets; people called him strange simply because of his peculiar clothes, his ardent vocals, and his erratic performances. It doesn't matter. Till instead chose to chase happiness in his own chaotic way. But Ivan, that effortless, perfect, flawless Ivan, had just called him free. Called him bright. Ivan craved a place in his supposedly "weird" and "unruly" world and— and—

Ivan continued before Till could fully spiral.

"And since you’ve clearly been spending a lot of time on stage lately, you’ve probably already figured out a bunch of stuff the hard way. Your vocal limits, your techniques, how not to ruin your voice after a long set."

They were both sitting on the floor of Till's room instead of the bed, finding a strange sort of comfort on that hard ass ground. Ivan crawled a little closer towards Till, as Till blushed with every word Ivan’s complimenting him with. It's unfamiliar, it's foreign, but he doesn't dislike the feeling.

Ivan’s tone turned serious, strangely intimate, "So.. teach me? I want to find my whole vocal range too, such as what kind of highest and lowest note could I hit. I also want to know how you learned all that. What works for you, what doesn’t. How you hit those raspy notes and growls. Show me how you do it. I’m serious this time, Till." Ivan gave him a small almost shy smile that even Till was in absolute disbelief at the sight in front of him. "I don’t wanna be dead weight if I’m gonna be on stage next to you."

Ivan waited for a response. But Till was clearly trapped inside his own mind, his mouth gaped open like a cute little fish stranded on dry land.

"So… uhh what do you say?" Ivan looked down at his hands that's fidgeting restlessly. The awkward silence stretched more between them as he waited for Till to snap out of his trance.

Till snapped out of it, nodding so violently and instantly that it made his head spin, but oh well. "W-well… I… see… Nice! Uhm— that's- that's good… well— yeah, fuck- I'm glad. Cool, cool..."

Ivan burst out laughing, pressing his fist against his mouth to muffle a sudden fit of giggles. "Pfft— haha! You're so bad at this, Till! That's all you're gonna say after I just poured my heart out to you?!"

" Sh-shut up!" Till grumbled, though the corners of his mouth were already betraying him, tugging into a smile. He knew how rarely Ivan showed his true self to anyone, hiding his own desires away from the world. But seeing him like this, so— so exposed… Till knew Ivan was entirely serious. He knew he couldn't give a lesser answer.

"But—.. uhm… Still, I- I'll say it now.. 'Cause I think I'll regret it for the rest of my life and won't be able to sleep at night if I don't so…" Till stared directly at Ivan, expression softening, "Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me."

Ivan didn't know it was possible to fall for someone even deeper than he already had. It struck him suddenly, if the whole world found out the "loser" they constantly mocked had a side like this, if they actually looked past the cover, they would probably be in love with Till right now. Ivan knew Till deserved all the love and adoration in the world, especially when he was shining so much on stage. Yet, was it so bad to be selfish? Ivan didn’t want anyone else to see this. Whether on stage or around the university, let everyone think whatever they wanted of Till's rebellious image. Ivan would be the one and only person to ever hold this side of him.

"About what works for me… huh. Well first. There are different kind of singing techniques. Falsetto, mixed voice, head voice.. and those come from different places too, like diaphragm, chest, nasal resonance and— stuff like that. Uhm.. but I know you already know most of that, don't you?"

Ivan gave a slow nod, his eyes half-lidded as he watched Till’s soft mouth move, "Yeah.. and that makes you more amazing. Your voice is so flexible, the way you play with all those techniques while molding them to your style, as if it's the exact same way you play with you electric guitar. Screaming and belting powerful notes like limits just don't exist for you.."

Till blushed, if this goes on any longer, his ego would expand to the size of a stadium… Or who was he kidding, it already was! "That's.. err.. I do have a different range than you. I also use more aggressive vocal techniques, so… you could say mine is higher, huskier, or raspier. Yours… well, yours is deep and rich— I- I dont know how to explain it. Its like when an angel talks?"

The sudden compliment caught Ivan completely off guard, it seemed Till didn't even realize he was unconsciously praising him. Ivan snickered, Till's just like that, he's a natural at stealing hearts through pure sincerity. Ivan let out a breathy chuckle, "How would you know what an angel sounds like?"

Till grumpily retorted, "It was a metaphor! A metaphor!!" Before calming himself down. "It's the kind of voice that sinks into your bones, ya know? Each note feels ethereal and bewitching. Like— it's hauntingly beautiful, and makes the people who listen to it, including me, melt.. Like— Sorry, I don't know how to explain it that well…"

Ivan nodded. "Yeah, you don't."

"Isn't that the part where you tell me I'm wrong and try to make me feel better???" Till stared at Ivan incredulously.

"But I'm just telling the truth?"

"You jerk!" Till yelped with a grumpy pout. But the frustration didn't last because a second later, his frown twisted into a smile and a laugh bubbling out of him, pulling Ivan right along with it.

"Damn it! Haha! What are we doing?" Till rasped, grinning from ear to ear. As their shared laughter filled the quiet room, the tension eased into something warm and comfortable.

Till crossed his legs, resting both hands on his ankles. "But seriously. No matter what our vocal ranges are, just do whatever you're happy with. When I first sang on stage, it was only for a few cover songs. But I came home completely gasping for air, voice gone for days, and even my breathing technique sucks so I was prone to mistakes and awful voice cracks. My throat ended up so hoarse. Thankfully, that was the time where nobody was really listening to me since it was just some random bar. A few drunkards were my only crowd. But even then, it made me realize something. I love the stage, I love performing even if I suck, even if nobody listens… I love singing, it feels… exhilirating. Like I'm completely alive!"

Ivan adored watching Till reminisce. To watch Till with stars in his eyes and lose himself in those memories... Ivan thanked this universe, for letting him meet Till and breathe the same air as him. Every word that left Till’s lips felt like a beautifully composed song, pulling Ivan into the melody until he was living in the song too. He listened, completely enchanted, a fond smile playing on his lips as he mirrored the excitement Till was pouring out.

'It's infectious,' Ivan observed, he could listen to Till for an eternity.

"Eventually, I got better. With better opportunities, with tons of practice, with more experience… you know how it goes. As for my voice, I… I think I just knew it since I was a kid?" a hard frown taking over Till's face as he struggled to explain the instinct.

"I mean, I was a kid who sang loud as hell. My mother always got jumpscared because I would randomly start singing in the bathroom early in the morning." Till rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "I was a handful as a child, but she got used to me and praised me. She's been a supportive mother from the very beginning, and I've always wanted to give my everything back to her and make her proud."

He stopped at that, his gestures growing wilder and more animated every second, his arms swinging back and forth. He couldn't fight off the goofy smile breaking through. Ivan shared his sentiment, he knew that feeling well, what Till had with his mother, since Io was the the only person who had ever given him something akin to maternal warmth.

"And later on, especially during elementary! She kept encouraging me to join singing contests.. and, well, I even won an award!" Till took a proud, dramatic inhale, striking a smug pose with both arms placed onto his hips.

" Ohhhh" Ivan clapped on the side, as Till’s fleeting pride melted into a flustered frown with reddish cheeks. That transition was so fast, it entertained Ivan.

"What's with that lackluster clap?!"

Ivan merely laughed. And so, choosing dignity over defense, Till decided to ignore him and push forward.

"Sooo the takeaway of the story is that…. I'm... I'm not entirely sure how I got good at singing. I never followed the standard textbook methods to improve, I just, experimented on my own... But I guess singing musical theater songs since—"

"Theater songs?" Ivan interrupted, a rare flash of genuine shock breaking through his composure. He hadn't expected that from Till. Though, looking back, perhaps he really should have.

Till simply ignored the disruption. " —since I was a kid helped a ton. It widened my range and improved my breath control. I unconsciously mirrored their techniques... just copied whatever felt right in my throat. As a result, I’ve learned how to be more expressive and how to bring out a more energetic, impactful delivery.… I just— did it?? …Yeah."

Ivan knew it all along. Since the tender days of childhood, he recognized the genius-level talent dormant within Till. Music belonged to him naturally, flowing like a natural current. He understood his calling, knew exactly where he faltered and where he soared. Simply by mimicking the world around him, Till had learned how to shape a voice entirely his own and capturing the hearts of all who listened. Yet, Till remained oblivious to his own light. He still stubbornly doubted the very hands that held such magic, constantly fearing he would fall, unaware that he was already flying.

Ivan knew it by heart, of course. Yet the truth still struck him like a breathtaking chord. Till is, and always has been, a genius. A beautiful, untamed, obstinate genius.

Despite his thoughts, that's not what he said. Because Ivan is a coward who does not speak what's inside his mind. Earlier was just a rare exception. "Then… what do you suggest I do? To find my vocal range?"

A long, trailing "hmmmm" escaped Till as he went from sitting to sprawling across the floor. He kept the note vibrating in the air, showing that he's thinking but not wanting to leave silence as a response to Ivan... Or perhaps it was just a habit. Either way, Till is an overthinker through and through. He then sat upright, a quick motion that made Ivan flinch.

"I don't know! Maybe just the general warm ups?... ugh, and I’m supposed to be a professional singer? Haha..." Till admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle. "There are some that I picked up on YouTube, but I'm not sure how to explain them properly— oh fuck it! You know what? Let’s just search Google. What even is internet for." Surrendering to his frustration, Till whipped out his phone and opened a search bar.

Ivan just watched the screen glide under Till's thumb. "Here," Till offered. They did find some reasonable advice, filled with articles about famous singers routines, warm-up videos, and professional vocal tips curated by google. It was like a whole buffet, but hidden among that feast were dishes entirely unexpected. A few more casual swipes landed them down on Reddit thread with an… interesting title that caught their eye.

"Huh?"

[ Can I suggest regular anal sex for guys with deep voices? It appears to raise the voice of men who do! ]

1 comment

 

→ @justsaying

[ Nothing compares to that deep helpless moan that you just can't hold back! ]

"HUUUHHH???" Till stared at the screen in utter disbelief. He wanted to look away just from the first few words, but curiosity killed the cat. With a face looking like a tomato, he glanced up at a confused Ivan, before hurting his eyes again by looking back into the glowing text.

"What is it??"

"Uh— I- just... just look," Till stuttered, suddenly a furious blush grew to his cheeks, painting his skin in a warm red. Ivan leaned in close to read the screen, but… that's way too close!!— His chest brushed against Till’s shoulder as he read the text aloud. "Can I suggest regular anal sex for guys with deep voices, it appears— wait what??" Ivan paused with a blink. Once. Twice. Then a slow wicked grin spread across his face. He returned to the screen, a low chuckle vibrating in his chest as he repeated "Can I suggest regular anal sex for guys with deep voi—"

"Shut up! Don't repeat it!!" Till hissed, beneath his ribs, his heart hammered. But Ivan merely looked at him with stars in his eyes as he got an idea. Clearly, it's not a good one in Till's opinion.

Till gulped, "W-what?? I can feel your mischief all over here! Whatever you're thinking, my answer is no!!"

"But Tiiiiiilllyyyy~" Ivan provoked, stretching the syllable of Till's nickname with a playful tone, as he wrapped both arms onto Till's available left arm, while the other occupied with the phone. "Didn’t you say you’d help me find my range?? We got our answer right in front of us! Hereeee~ Won't you help a poor guy out?"

Till rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. "Poor guy, my ass! You're a perv!! We had dozen of actual, let me say it again, aaaactual rational tips since we started, and you chose this one out of all them. Literally the most insane one??"

Ivan continued to convince him, lips warmly brushing near Till’s ear, tickling him with his breath. " Still, aren't you just a little curious too?"

The words stole the air right out of Till’s lungs. A victorious smirk bloomed across Ivan’s face, poking Till with more tactics. Though he pulled his body back just a little, partly for the sake of Till’s eardrums, and partly for Till not to die from him clinging to his arm. "Right? Right? Rather than warm ups or scales, this is more interesting~! Even if it doesn't work out, at least we can say we experimented once yeah? What is it the kids say nowadays…? Right, Yolo! Carpe diem!"

Just one more push…

"If not now, when will we ever know if it works? Besides! The post specifically said deep-voiced. And didn’t you mention earlier that my voice is, quote-unquote, deep and rich? So come onnnn! Help me find my voice range!"

Till swallowed hard, pulse racing against his ribs as Ivan stared at him with that dangerous look. "You're acting like a child!!" Till snapped, but relented with a defeated sigh. If you can't beat them, join them I guess... "Don't you dare regret this! You're the one to blame here.." Yet, looking at Ivan, Till had a sinking feeling that he would be the only one bearing the weight of regret.

Ivan’s face lit up with a dazzling wife smile. He formed a heart with his fingers over his chest, right where his heart beat, and threw a wink.
 

" I won't darling~!"

...and to think they weren't even dating. Could you believe that?

.

.

.

" So… how do we… start this?" Till voice was rough with nerves. His gaze darting awkwardly toward Ivan.

Ivan’s answer was immediate. He bit his lower lip, eyes darkening with a burning... excitement? He hooked his thumbs into his waistband, and pushed both pants and boxers down his hips in one smooth motion, kicking them aside without a care. His cock was already semi-erect, flushed and heavy against his thigh. A blatant testament to his anticipation.

The automatic response to that was to look away, and look away Till did.

'He’s.. he’s already hard.' Till's throat went dry. He was baffled. The juxtaposition of the situation made him feel like an idiot. I mean, here he was, drowning in a suffocating wave of embarrassment, while Ivan discarded his clothes without a single shred of modesty or shame! Till shot a suspicious side-eye at his partner. 'Is he calm because he's used to doing this?' then Till shook his head. 'Why the hell does that even matter right now?'

"Eerrr… It says.. start with foreplay and fingering? Or whatever this PDF says" Ivan looked back down at his phone, illuminating a downloaded PDF dramatically titled, The Key to Navigating Your First Time: An Anal Sex Guide.

"We need a.. l-lube then. And uhm.. C-… condoms."

Ivan agreed, "Right. I was too excited to the point I almost suggested to skip straight to raw— wait… were you embarrassed saying lube and cond—"

Till decided that he did not hear Ivan's last sentence, and sharply glared at him, daring him to repeat that again. He cleared his throat. "As much as raw sounds hot as fuck, I don't want to hurt you. We need to prepare, just like how you don't rush the final boss without grinding for levels first." Till said with an utterly serious face. 'what the fuck is this dude saying right now… love him still tho' Ivan was undeniably besotted, a truth that held constant across every universe.

Till cleared his throat again. Did he have something stuck in there, or what? "Imma go buy the lube and condom right now, ciao!"

Ivan's eyes widened, "Wha—" But Till already vanished. "... sigh When the world needed him most, he vanished."

Ivan flopped back onto the bed to hug the mountain of pillows into his arms, half-naked, alone, and pouting, he muttered to the ceiling, "I was literally about to suggest he use my money..."

Thus, he decided to act as the tragic virgin protagonist of an 18+ melodrama, carrying a curse of misfortune for a lifetime. And when at last he loved truly, it was only to be utterly forsaken, doomed to wither away and draw his final breath in isolation. Great plot right? Ivan thought so. Anyone who disagreed clearly lacked culture. "Alas! Is this, then, the cruel destiny of the eternal virgin, left ruined and wretched before a single taste of earthly pleasure? Woe is me!"

Literally 15 minutes later. Or more. Ivan didn't really count, sorry. The door slammed open, revealing a dishevealed Till who's heaving so much he looks like he's about to die, legs shaking violently for it's dear life like a newborn fawn. " Im— COUGH COUGH— Hah… fucking augh… —back bitch!"

Ivan sat up in bliss, putting on a pitiful act while remaining completely butt-naked. Honestly, Till should have expected it. Unfortunately, he hadn't. Which was exactly why his face failed to spare a single one of his unfiltered reactions. "Why the fuck is your friend staring at me dead in the face right now?!?!" Till shrieked.

"Ehhhh~ I'm too lazy to put pants on just to take it off again later when we…" Ivan offered a feline smile. He raised his hands, forming an explicit, universally understood circle with his left fingers, and moving his right index finger through it.

"You shameless fucke—"

"aaaand you took forever that I almost slept! Did you run a marathon or what?? My butts all cold now from waiting, your beautifully prepared five-star meal is not hot anymore :( Also! You should’ve just used my card!—" He whined dramatically

Till only rubbed his index finger under his nose looking uttery smug, "Heh," He hoisted the plastic bag into the air like it's a trophy he won. "The early bird catches the worm! They're only taking cash tonight too so sucks to suck. Oh, by the way!" He opened the plastic bag to display everything he bought, "I got, like, flavored condom, flavored lubes, and ahm— unflavored lube and regular condoms… pick whatever you want!"

Ivan stared at the pile of condoms and lubes, then burst into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. He rolled onto his stomach, kicking his legs up and down against the bed, all while Till could only focus on his shiny cold butt.

"What are you laughing about??"

Ivan decided to spare him his misery and share his happiness like a good boy he is. "It's just… pfft— You’re talking like you just came back from the grocery store with a bunch of snacks and then asking me what I want for dinner."

Till’s blood boiled. "You! Ugh…." He buried his face in his hands, groaning into his palms, "Why are you like this?"

"I don't know, honestly," Ivan purred, his eyes crinkling mixed with mischief. "It's my way of keeping you interested~ you'd be bored without me!" He winked, sending floating hearts straight to Till’s way. Till stared at him, a confused frown creasing his forehead. Even now, Ivan remained a beautiful enigma to him. Till never truly knew where the joke ended and the truth began… just like how he's serious with saying he aggravate Till to gain his attention, yet mask it as a joke. It didn't matter though, Till loved every beautiful infuriating side of him, and he’d spend the rest of the night making Ivan comfortable enough to finally drop his mask.

"You don't need to try so hard to get my attention. I like talking to you anyways. Just be you." Till grumbled quietly.

A sudden pink blush rushed to Ivan’s cheeks… Just like this, Till would sometimes drop the most charming lines with a completely straight face, yet turn into a stuttering, flustered mess over things that weren't even embarrassing. Really, Till had always been an enigma to him. But it's fine, Ivan loves him for it.

"AND!" Till butted in, "I didn’t know what would be the best, okay? I just grabbed everything… I wanted to make sure I at least got the type you'd prefer." His voice dropped to a shy whisper on the last sentence, so quiet that Ivan almost couldn't catch it.

Actually, Ivan wished he missed it. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be sitting here gulping, desperately scrambling for anything to say, anything to stop the air from succumbing to that perilous tension once more.

After coughing lightly, Ivan tapped at his glowing phone screen. "The best one…uh, wait, lemme just check… It said here that unflavored lubricants are preferred for anal intercourse, whereas flavored varieties are intended for oral use. Therefore if you're planning to… and so on and so forth. Okay let's go with the dark chocolate lube you hav—"

Till squinted at him, "Huh? Are we gonna do oral?"

"Uhhh.. anal?"

Silence answered for them.

A literal comedic vein popped on Till's forehead. "Then why the fuck did you suggest flavored lube when the guide already said not to??"

The serious facade Ivan was holding together completely shattered. He dissolved into a howling laughter, slamming his hand repeatedly against the pillow besides him. The very same pillow he would be gripping for dear life later when Till finally fucked the life out of him, but shh, he didn't know that yet.

"You’re so adorable!!" Ivan wheezed, his eyes soft with affection, even if his mouth was twisted into a vile smirk. "Sorry, sorry! I was just messing with you. Your reactions are too funny not to tease."

Till scowled, "Well, your face is too funny not to fuck! Now c'mon and choose you jerk!"

"Ohhhhh~" Ivan whistled, "Tilly knows how to give smart rebuttals toooo~ Look at you, you're improvi—"

" Please pleaseeeee I beg of you, just pick!!" Till groaned, he looked like he was mentally weeping. Exasperated, Till brought both hands to his face, palms pressing flat against his cheeks before dragging them down with his eyes rolling back in pure frustration.

"All right, all right, daddy chill. Let's go with unflavored one"

"DADDY CHILL??? WHO??? ME?????? WEREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO JUST FUCKI—" Till's voice cracked. "…. ugh nevermind. I'm not giving you the reaction you want." Ivan pouted in genuine disappointment, as Till chose to ignore that for his mental sanity. "Here" he dumped the remaining bottles of lubes directly onto the bed. "For unflavored, I got a water-based one and a silicone-based one."

"How on earth did you find all of this in just a short amount of time? Doesn't the convenience store near us just closed at this hour?" Ivan raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Why did you think I came back fighting for my life?"

"My deepest apologies for doubting your abilities. Thank you for opening the eyes of this ignorant fool."

"You are most graciously welcome, peasant." Till muttered, though the tips of his ears were still pink. The bravado faded soon, replaced by hesitation. "Now, uhhh—.. what were we supposed to do first again?" his brow furrowing as the weight of the moment settled back over him. Fuck! How could he forget? Blame it on his coward fucking nerves—

Ivan remembered every word from that PDF, the same one he read all the way to the end after Till disappeared in a rush. "Foreplay," he reminded.

Till sat on the mattress, tapping his feet and fidgeting with his clothes. "uh… h-how should we do it?" A heavy silence settled between them as Ivan could see the sweat on Till's neck and forehead.

That was before Ivan went and lay down on the upper part of the bed, gesturing for Till to crawl over him. Till obeyed, moving carefully until he was hovering on top of him. Their eyes locked.

"Kissing?" Ivan asked tenderly, tender in a way that offered Till the chance to easily back down if he wanted to. Ivan observed Till's awkward reaction, the way his shaking arms froze and his face tensed. "Or not… The text did say that foreplay helps us relax and makes the experience more pleasurable. But if you're uncomfortable, we don't have to do all that touching and stuff." Ivan smiled soothingly, "We can just go at our own pace. If you want, we can go straight to penetrati—"

"No!" Till blurted out loudly.

Ivan’s mouth snapped shut in surprise. "Huh?"

"S-sorry," Till stammered, his cheeks flushing. "I told you earlier, I don't want to hurt you. I want to make you feel good. I want this to be pleasurable for you too. It's just.. ahm... I'm too nervous."

"Is this your first time?"

Till gave a small, reluctant nod. "Yeah.. First time kissing and… all these stuff."

Ivan's eyebrows arched in amusement. "Really? With the way you dress dripping with allure, and especially how you act on stage, everyone thought you were experienced. You just have that vibe whenever you perform! I never would have guessed our lovely, rebellious 'uknown' would give his first time to me!"

"Sh-shut up! So what?" Till snapped, though there was no real bite to it. "There's nothing wrong with that! Besides, this is your first time too, right? I've never seen you with a guy before!"

That quieted Ivan instantly. A faint blush crept up his neck. "Tch…"

Till rested his hands on the pillows, his expression breaking into a cocky grin. "The kettle calling the pot black. Or.. whatever that saying is."

Ivan rolled his eyes, a fond smile tugging at his lips. Till had the idiom completely backward, but he decided to let him have this win.

"S… so… kissing…?" Till mumbled, his voice dropping to a whisper as his gaze fell back to Ivan. He was still on top of Ivan, heart hammering against his fucking ribs as he looked down into Ivan’s dark eyes. Damn, he could smell Ivan's shampoo and fabric softener from his fluffy cardigan. It's agitating him more. "You… you're sure about this?"

A soft constant laughter escaped Ivan as he entwined his arms around Till’s neck. He would've completely forgotten Ivan wasn't even wearing pants, if it weren't for the cold press of naked thighs hooked securely around his waist. "Yeah. Hurry up Till, or are you just shy? What a cutie pie!"

Ivan knew exactly which buttons to push. Like a mesmerizing fae ensnaring his prey, he took Till by the hand. And Till, oh so foolish Till, unaware of the trap, was entirely captivated; he had already chosen to leap from the cliff and fall into the abyss.

Till acted before his mind could catch up, he leaned down and pressed his lips against Ivan's. Ivan smiled into the soft touch, his hand sliding down slowly from Till's nape to his slim back. He was amused at how adorable and shy Till truly was, no matter how much his sharp fashion, with those skulls and spikes, tried to deny it.

But a mere touch wasn't enough, the distance between them was still too wide. Wanting more, Ivan closed the gap and stared intently into Till’s eyes with an intensity that made Till’s eyes widen in a sudden burning embarrassment before he tightly shut them. He felt completely exposed.

Yet, despite the flush on his cheeks, Till’s tongue was bold. He parted Ivan's lips and slided inside with a warm swirl.

Smooching, squelching, sucking, and gasping.

Those lascivious sounds were heard loudly inside the room, all at once. What began as a clumsy and nervous, instantly turned into an obscene situation. Ivan let out a choked yelp, arm dragging Till under to a tight embrace.

He explored every hidden nook and cranny of Ivan's mouth, claiming every corner, even places Ivan himself had never even noticed. He sucked Ivan's tongue, familiarizing himself with Ivan's taste. It was delicious and sweet and warm and scrumptiously soft… to the point that he's completely enamored. Every canine, the wet heat beneath his tongue, the roof of his mouth, the curve of his uvula, the very back of his throat, Till could feel everything.

A sharp moan bled from Till's lips as his tongue grazed against Ivan's snaggletooth. Ivan only hummed back, a low vibration in his chest, keeping his mouth open to let Till take whatever he wanted. Sadly, due to the need for oxygen, they separated briefly. Ivan was panting and his gaze never wavering, while Till was dying trying to calm his frantic yet excited lungs. "So this is how you practice your breathing exercises?" Ivan breathed the words directly onto Till’s plump smooth lips.

Till's head dropped down, burying his face into the pillow right beside Ivan’s ear. He let his entire weight collapse onto Ivan’s chest, surrendering at this point. He could feel everything, the warmth and sweat from Ivan's chest, as well as his rapid heartbeat. "Wha— you know what? I won't even bother. Yeah, you do you."

Ivan's laugh vibrated against Till's skin. For a split second, their eyes locked, but it was too much for Till, who crumbled quickly and averted his eyes with his cheeks burning like his dick.

"You literally devoured my mouth minutes ago as if you weren't fed properly, and now you're blushing like a protagonist in a shoujo manga??" Ivan leaned in until their smooth noses brushed weakly.

"Don’t start. It's not my fault it’s my first time!"

Instead of answering with words, Ivan grabbed the back of Till's head again, and dragged him down, drowning them both as they sank into the depths of this new world of pleasure.

When they finally broke apart, a fragile thread of silver saliva lingered between them, connecting their lips and seemingly reluctant to let go.

Still on top of Ivan, Till's touch grew bolder as his palms traced Ivan's torso. "Take your cardigan and shirt off," he commanded.

"Look at you. Not even satisfied with me naked from the waist down, now you want the whole package? Tell you what, if mine comes off, yours does too! From top to bottom honey ;)" he winked.

Clothes were discarded piece by piece. With Ivan’s upper clothing finally gone, Till’s gaze dragged hungrily over his toned abs and slim waist, only to lock onto the shameless display below, which Ivan had been nonchalantly flashing him since the very beginning. Till's reaction was instantaneous, his boiling blood quickly travelling to his brain.

It didn't go unnoticed by Ivan, "Ohohohoh?~ Feasting your eyes without my permission?" he purred, and Till wanted to gag so badly at the line.

"I think I need to fuck your mouth first just to shut you up—"

"But how could we find my voice range if you shut me up?" Ivan countered, his expression shifting into a mock pout.

Till wanted the floor to split open and swallow him whole. "Somebody please get me out of here."

"Sureee, keep lying to yourself babe"

Till chose neither to deny nor agree.

Reaching up, Ivan tangled his fingers in Till's thick and soft silver hair, massaging his scalps gently, and directed Till's head down until his lips brushed the vulnerable curve of Ivan's clavicle, "Don't be a coward and make yourself at home~"

Giving in to the pull, Till leaned into the invitation shyly, pressing a cautious gentle bite into the skin. Ivan yelped, but his eyes closed in ecstasy. Their mouths found each other again and again, hands reaching for every available inch of skin, until Ivan ended up with his thighs and neck covered in hickeys, lingering saliva on few edges.

"Puah— That tickles!" Ivan gasped out, continued by a rhythm of laugher. Till became flustered, but instead of backing off, he used the moment to intentionally tickle Ivan anyways, drawing out genuine sound of unperturbed mirth. Till guesses he could use some fun…

Eventually, Till then sat back on his heels, slicking his fingers generously with the cool silicone lube. When he looked back at Ivan, he couldn't hide the raw unease and concern clouding his face.

"Hey, hey! It’s fine Till. You’re shaking more than me!" Till averted his eyes, cursing himself for being an open book. "I’m ready, Till. I'm all relaxed and comfortable here. We can take the next step, if you want" Ivan smiled.

Till’s adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped down his nerves. He nodded once again "Right."

He retreated from his place on top of Ivan to sit beside him on the edge of the bed. He reached over to the plastic bag he bought from the who-knows-where late night convenience stores. "Do you want to use the water-based lube or the silicone-based one?"

Ivan paused, humming. "Based on what I read from that pdf earlier, water-based lube is very easy to clean but it dries fast, so you need to keep reapplying. Silicone-based, however, stays slick for a long time. It's good for longevity! Let's go with that?"

"All right." Till grabbed the condoms with curious eyes. "It looks like the unflavored ones come pre-lubricated..." He set them aside for a moment, grabbing the silicone lube bottle instead. He fumbled with the plastic packaging with his fingers betraying his nerves as his cheeks turned soft pink from taking too much time.

"Uhhhhhh... your nails are longer than mine. Help..? please..?" Till muttered, thoroughly embarrassed. Ivan merely chortled, with a teasing tone he said "sigh, Men."

Till glared at him, his expressive eyes clearly projecting the silent scream of 'But you're a man too?!' which only amplified Ivan's glee.

Once the stubborn packaging was discarded, Till coated his fingertips in the rich fluid, "Uh— it's better to use too much than too little, right?" He sought confirmation, and Ivan offered an appreciative smile as a response, deeply grateful for the care. "You don't need to ask me for my preference or permission for everything, you know…"

Till shook his head firmly. "Nope. My mother taught me better than that! like I've said for the hundredth time— I don't want to cause you pain, even if it's accidentally. I want you to have a good time with me, same as what I feel with you."

An unexpected tug of mysterious emotion struck Ivan's chest, warmth rising to his face that left him temporarily unable to speak. Till looked down at him, suspecting his words had once again bounced off Ivan's meticulously constructed walls— but Till silently resolved to repeat them as many times as he could until Ivan finally come to accept them.

"I'll… go in now. Tell me if it hurts, m'kay?" Till’s voice wavered with nerves, Ivan only nodded while sulking. "Just go in, Till... touch me already, I’m getting impatient!"

Till pressed one slender slicked finger against Ivan’s entrance and slowly pushed deep inside. Ivan’s breath hitched, his frame tensing uncomfortably, "Your hand and the lube… 'ts cold…" he muttered, but began to relax slowly under Till’s hyper-careful touch.

​"The lube actually made it easier to slide in..." Till mumbled to himself, his eyes flicking anxiously back and forth from his fingers to Ivan’s face. "How is it? Do you feel anything?"

"I can feel your calloused hand, you're having so much fun time with your electric guitar huh? Keep going though"

Till simply exhaled, "I'll put another one in." his gaze currently narrowed in absolute concentration as he poured his entire being to the task in hand.

As the second finger slipped inside, a fractured snort escaped Ivan. "hAHa— Mercy, Till! Calm down! I can feel your finger shaking in my ass! "

Till shot back, "Well I can feel your ass pushing my fingers back out, so stop fucking laughing!!" his tone crossing between intense irritation and intense focus.

Despite the reprimand, Ivan's snickering only increased. Till pressed on with working patiently. He stretched Ivan gradually, moving his fingers up, down, and shifting to slow unbearable circles, before pushing deeper "..—ngh!?" The insult that Ivan was preparing died on his lips, replaced by a sudden unexpected whimper that slipped past his barriers. Shocked by his own voice, Ivan instantly clamped a hand over his mouth.

"Why cover your mouth now? You definitely had no problem filtering that mouth a second ago." A wicked satisfaction curved onto Till’s lips, "Plus, we just unlocked a new sound! Heh, I knew it, I'm an expert at handling stringed instruments. Of course I know exactly how to pull your chords."

"That's so lame Till, to be hone— ah!" The very helpful, very mindful, and very demure critique dissolved into a loud yelp as Till revisited the same place, deliberately this time.

"Well, I did not ask for your opinion! … Where was it? Here??" He countered, his throat tight trying to find Ivan's erogenous area, curling, searching, doing everything— until he finally found it. He hit Ivan's g-spot that gave him a whole new wave of pleasure "…Till! Y- ngh.. you're holding a grudge aren't you??"

"Cause you've done nothing but piss me off since earlier!" Till addmited.

"hn… yet you're thoroughly relishing this now." Ivan grunted through his gritted teeth, struggling to stifle his voice. Till kept making a scissor motion, parting the tight folds with meticulous care, which coaxed Ivan's body,e ven if just a little, to slide in more easily. Especially with the help of the lube.

"Damn right I am." Till confessed in the most unholy way that Ivan has ever heard. “You sound so fucking hot when you break like that.”

Although it had been only a few minutes, it felt tantalizingly long to Ivan with how slowly Till was working to open him up, as if he's teasing him at this point! Ivan was already panting, his cock leaking against his stomach which only meant his greed was growing more impatient. "Ah Till, come on... I'm ready... I'm all stretched out! You've been doing this for the past couple of minutes! Don't worry, I can take it. You won't hurt me that much, I'm more stronger than you anyways bro"

Till let out a heavy sigh "Don't fucking bro me" and decided to listen to his partner's desperate plea. After all, he's been so focused on his task he lost track of time, "But.. you sure you're comfortable enough?"

Ivan gave a thumbs up zealously, with sparkles and wink and all that, "Yeah, one hundred percent."

So Till, went to retrieve the lube again and this time, pouring a lot over his length, using his slicked hand to rub each corner and make sure it's wet down to the root. Ivan raised his eyebrows at the sight, eyes filled with anticipation but this only made Till self conscious and stop his tracks.

"eh?~ why'd you stop? I was having fun watching the solo performance!"

"Nope. No nono no— that's enough you dog." Till rasped, tearing the condom packet with shaky hands and teeth, then spreading even more lube over it. He clumsily tried to roll the condom down his length, but before it could even get past his thickest part, the material couldn't handle the stretch and ripped with a loud—

tear.

Ivan stared at him, Till stared back.

A heavy silence descended upon the two frozen people in complete disbelief.

"Uhhh…" Till choked with his dick red as fuck in humiliation, hastily discarding the ruined condom and reached for a more accommodating larger size.

Ivan’s lips curled into what Till would call an infuriating grin, "Are you just trying to flex how big you are right now???"

"Please, for one sec, shut your mouth."

Following a sequence of clumsy fumbles and awkwardness, Till finally, finally! successfully put on a condom.

"I'm so proud of you, didn't doubt you for a bit~!" Ivan closed his eyes with a fake tear and a smile that felt so fucking sarcastic Till wanted to curse him and his whole generation.

But did not he, because he's such a gentleman like that. "You ready? You… don't need any more prep or anything like that?" He hovered over Ivan, concern and anxiety still clear in his brows, "Like.. you're sure-sure? Absolutely, undeniably sure? Very sure? Readiest ready you could possibly be—"

"Yes I am! I've been ready since the fucking beginning with you just spending the past hours stretching me out! Now please fuck my guts and make me scream!" He demanded, his patience entirely depleted.

Till swallowed, his hesitation finally evaporating. "All.. right"

He settled himself between Ivan’s thick thighs, pressing the blunt head of his cock against the slippery entrance.

As he sank deeper into him, Till let out a low grunt, answered immediately by a whimper mixed with a whine from Ivan. "… even— ah.. with all that stretching, too tight—" His gaze locked onto Ivan’s face, searching for the slightest indication of discomfort or pain.

"Does it hurt?" Till halted his agonizingly slow movements, with his brows knitted together

Ivan yelped, His heart was throbbing crazily, far louder than Till's own voice. Yet, it helped distract him from the sudden warmth filling his stomach, "Not... much. It’s just— I can feel the slight burn from the stretch... 'm so full... Just let me.. wait, let me catch my breath. Give me a second…" Till froze instantly, one hand stroked Ivan’s thigh in a soothing rhythm as the other held it to anchor Ivan in proper position. "I could give you an hour, or as much as you need. Just take your time. I can pull out the second you tell me you don't want to do this anymore." He whispered, his voice thick with unadulterated worry.

Ivan shook his head fiercely against the pillow. "I want it. Don’t you dare pull out..." He tried to stabilize his breath, and then looked up at Till. "Is that all of it?"

Till stared down between their bodies. “Uh… I’m only halfway in.”

"Halfway?!" Ivan’s eyes flew wide open, He was panting hard, trying to coordinate breathing and speaking while dealing with an impossible overwhelming sensation of fullness, only to find out it was merely like, what, half? "You mean my guts are already getting rearranged, and you're telling me that's not everything?"

Till’s face twisted with guilt. "…you know I think we should just stop— It might be too much for our first time-"

"No. No, absolutely not." Determination burned in Ivan’s eyes despite the tears clinging to his lashes. "I don't care how big you are. I can take it. I want to take it." He locked eyes with Till. "You're just.. stupidly and unfairly thick. But I want this. So let me have it."

He closed his eyes and breathed out, taking a final moment to adapt before offering a reassuring smile. "I'm okay. Continue, please?" Knowing Till was on the verge of overthinking himself into a panic, he needed assurance or else he'll go spiral. Ivan reached up and pulled him down into a distracting kiss.

Till hesitated for a fraction of a second, but the hunger in Ivan’s voice won against his restraint. However, the universe seemed determined to humiliate him, because—

slip

…he felt the slicky condom partially slip off just as he prepared to move. "Hm?" Ivan let out a confused hum, feeling it too.

"Sorry.." Till's face turned red as he scrambled across the sheets to find the spare wrappers, swallowing down the sheepish lump in his throat. "The condom slipped off, let me replace it.." He pulled out cautiously, glancing anxiously at the condom. It hadn't merely slipped off, it had suffered another small tear, while still inside Ivan this time. The excess lubricant also made it slide off easier.

Ivan couldn't help but let out a snicker at the sheer absurdity of the situation. However, he was forced to wait and stay still while Till wanted to bawl his eyes out of disgrace.

Before Ivan could utter a single syllable of mockery, Till cut him off. "Please, If you open your mouth again I think I'll actually die at this point."

But Ivan was never the one to stay quiet, "Don’t worry, Tilly, I can wait right here~ can’t guarantee if I’ll stay hard though.." That teasing threat had Till tearing open a fresh, larger, and significantly stronger wrapper faster than Ivan could even blink. "Don't you dare go soft on me!"

After positioning himself once more, Till pushed forward deeper inch by inch in unhurried pace, groaning at the tight heat enveloping his length. Ivan exhaled shakily, but his body was finally yielding, slowly but surely adapting to Till's size.The initial tension melted away, replaced by intoxicating pleasure, especially with Till's dick continuously bullying his prostate.

“Ah— ngh…” Ivan whimpered with every shallow thrust. He unclenched his fists from the bedsheets, and looped it around Till’s nape, pulling him down for a wet kiss.

“You okay?” Till breathed when they separated.

Ivan nodded, "mhm… ah.. yeah, you can move more now. I’m more than ready. If you won't, I’ll just ride you to death myself" He grinned at Till yet again, "Thank you for helping me discover that I can sing this prettily too, Till"

Till pulled back completely slow, torturing him like he had all the time in the world. "I’m glad you noticed. You really are making the most exquisite music right now.."

The moment the compliment left his lips, he slammed back inside mercilessly and deep, as if all the patience from earlier evaporated and upgraded into a sinful hunger.

"AHNG?!"

Ivan’s scream was loud and enchanting. His eyes rolled back, tears spilling down his flushed cheeks as his spine arched.

"That note was utterly divine, especially with that vibrato," Till moved in a ruthless, unrelenting rhythm now. "Let’s see if we can pull out some growls for the next one hm?"

Ivan’s voice cracked in the most ethereal way possible that enthralled Till, holding him captive like a siren's call. "Till- fuack—I just fucking surpassed- gaah~! my highest note in that one- Buuut— ngh..I think I'm going to die!" Ivan glared, though it lacked any real malice.

Till merely cackled, his pace only getting more intense, "My bad…. would do it again though!"

And he did just that, because he's a man of his words.

Gazing down at the sight beneath him, Till felt an almost reverent awe. He felt like he broke the forbidden rule to possess someone this magnificent. To watch Ivan break so beautifully, crying out like an angel singing exclusively for him, sent all of Till's blood down to his crotch. He is a sinner for corrupting him, but that sound, that face, that voice, everything about Ivan was an addiction, and Till was completely intoxicated by the high.

.

.

.

Ivan’s voice was completely wrecked by the time they were both close, it was hoarse and raspy on every moan like a sweet broken melody. His body trembled violently as he came hard, spilling between their stomachs with a shattered cry. Till followed right after, burying himself deep with a groan of Ivan’s name. A sound that, even in Ivan's disheveled state, sent a thrill straight down his spine.

Afterwards, Ivan lay there panting, his voice destroyed and his eyes glassy with a mix of tears and satisfaction. "Do you have to make me see heaven before my vocals can even attempt to sound heavenly??" Ivan let out a weak titter, staring blankly at the ceiling. Every muscle in his body is aching. His head throbbed, his limbs felt like heavy, and his throat was dry. But man, was that the best moment in his life.

"I swear I discovered a whole new vocal range and got a permanent throat damage in a single session, totally worth it tho.. If that went on for even a second longer, I’d think you were trying to train me to hit whistle notes like Mariah Carey, not gonna lie.." Turning his head to the side, Ivan watched Till catch his breath and looking equally exhausted but thoroughly satisfied.

Till coughed slightly, then sat up to casually peel the slippery, sticky condom from his length. "I guess that Reddit post actually held some merit, my bad for doubting y'all." he admitted, letting out a raspy laugh. Ivan laughed with him. "If I join your band, does this mean every rehearsal ends with you rearranging my vocal cords?"

"Uhh, I mean, proper warm-ups are mandatory.. Now come on, let's shower cause I'm entirely covered in sweat and stickiness."

Ivan immediately whined, channeling his inner brat. "Carry me..."

"Wha—"

"It's not my fault you're hiding a huge girthy monster between your legs! I literally cannot walk."

"….fine." Till said as if he's forced to do it, but deep inside he secretly hoped Ivan would ask for exactly that.

.

.

.

Ivan yawned, sinking comfortably into the mattress that was enveloped by the clean scent of new fresh bedsheets. Dressed in a new set of clothes, he vigorously rubbed a towel through his damp hair with the smell of Till's shampoo. Beside him on the bed was Till intently staring at his phone screen.

"What are you reading?" Ivan asked while leaning in curiously.

Till turned the screen toward him without a word. Displayed on the monitor was the pdf that Ivan mentioned he read earlier while Till was running to the convenience store: The Key to Navigating Your First Time: An Anal Sex Guide.

Ivan let out an entertained "Oooohhh" his eyes scanning the paragraph Till was currently reading: “First times can be clumsy, awkward, or deviate entirely from the plan. That is completely normal. The key is to prioritize intimacy and explore each other’s comfort levels…”

"Oh! That part! Isn't that exactly what happened to us earlier?" Ivan expressed with a playful glint in his eyes, watching Till instantly avert his gaze in shame. "But you know.." His voice softened, dropping to a gentler register. "Whatever happens, happens. I don’t actually care if things go completely off the rails."

Till’s eyes widened in genuine surprise. "Really? I thought you were the type of person who wants everything to go well and perfect?"

"Well, typically, I am. I always have a plan, a backup plan if it failed, and even a contingency for that same backup plan. I usually feel this compulsive need to be prepared for every scenario," Ivan smiled with a sprinkle of melancholy in his expression. "But that's just a strategy I developed to survive my family"

"Oh, right. Your asshole father, you mean?"

"I wouldn't necessarily use the word 'asshole'…"

"Well, I absolutely would."

Ivan chuckled softly, conceding with his raised brows. "Fair enough. But he's not here right now. There’s no one else in this room but you and me. What I’m trying to say is... when I’m around you, I don’t need a facade. I don’t have to be perfect."

"I can just.." Ivan looked to the pillow besides him, playing with the pillowcase as his composure slipped into genuine vulnerability. A sheepish, tender smile remained on his face. "I can just be me. Besides, you told me earlier that you enjoy talking to me for who I am. Well, the feeling is mutual, Till." Abandoning the pillow he'd been messing with, he focused entirely on Till’s gaze, "Just be yourself. Don't burden yourself with trying to provide me, us,/ a flawless experience. Simply being with you is the greatest happiness I've ever achieved in this lifetime."

Till was completely overwhelmed. Emotions suddenly punched him so hard he could feel tears pricking his eyes. Because of his desperate want to hide his pathetic, ugly weeping face from Ivan’s view, he aggressively wiped his eyes with his left sleeve, and lunged forward, locking Ivan in a tight embrace.

>Ivan stiffened slightly, eyes wide with surprise at the sudden physical affection. Till wasn't exactly the type to do spontaneous hugs; he was way too much of a tsundere for that. But Ivan quickly relaxed into it, a warm smile spreading across his face. 'This is nice' he thought.

"Thank you..." Till murmured, his face burning. He cleared his throat nervously. and again. and again. "Uhm... I- is..is it too late to say this? I feel like if I don't say it right now, I’ll regret this until I'm in my grave and lose sleep over it forever part 2."

Ivan tilted his head, completely smitten and mesmerized at just the sight of Till. "What is it?"

"Uh—I... ah... hum... err..." Till’s words got all tangled and shit in his throat. He grew visibly frustrated with his own sudden inability to articulate a simple fucking coherent sentence!! "I... l-li... l-like... How the fuck do I say this?!"

He cursed his own stuttering tongue, but seeing Ivan waiting patiently for him, he forced himself to summon every ounce of courage he possessed since he was an infant to this moment. 'Mama didn't raise no quitter!' Till inhaled.

"Fuck it, we ball... I love you, Ivan!"

Till shouted the confession on top of his lungs, bracing himself for whatever may happen. It's only three words, yet he fought the overwhelming urge to look away and avoid seeing Ivan's disgusted face, wanting to run and briefly contemplated migrating to another country if all goes to shit.

"I think of you from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. Even when I'm just shitting in the bathroom or when I'm trying to create music. I was thinking about you even before my mind even realized that I liked you. I want to eat soup with you at a kitchen table. I want to sing with you until our voices give out. I want to spend a hundred thousand boring afternoons with you. I want to live a long, boring life with you, until the day I die." Till was rapping all the words out in a rush, his lungs unable to keep up with his overwhelming feelings. His mind was entirely blank, the confession rattled off from his lips before he could even process it. When the last word finally left him, he fell silent, desperately catching his breath in his own silent room.

Instead, the only sound that broke the silence was a soft giggle.

Till’s anxiety turned into irritation as he immediately said back, "What the hell is so funny about—"

He cut himself off when he saw Ivan's face clearly. Ivan wasn't mocking him. He was crying… Or laughing? Or perhaps experiencing both emotions simultaneously as tears spilled freely down his face.

Till's irritation dissolved into panic. "Sorry— did I say something wrong?"

Ivan shook his head rapidly, trying to catch his breath. "No— well— technically, yes," he laughed through a sob. "I’m crying because I’m incredibly happy. Because I want to be with you for a very long time, too. Until we're both old and gray, and our bones start to tremble while our teeth fall off"

Just like that, Till felt lightheaded, heart nearly stopping at the most beautiful, devastatingly perfect 'me too' of his life. He felt like walking on clouds and—

"Really?! Fuck yeah! I'm so fucking happy, Ivan, I love you so fucking mu— wait. What did I do wrong then????"

A faint pout forming on Ivan's lips. "You waited until after we had sex to confess to me. We haven't even gone on a single date yet!"

Till rubbed the back of his neck, blushing furiously. "Sorry... I know I'm an utter mess.."

Ivan’s expression softened again. He leaned in, pressing a gentle, reassuring kiss against Till’s lips. "It's fine. I’m equally to blame. I’ve loved you for a long time, but I never confessed because I was convinced you’d reject me. I was serious about joining the band with you, you know. But when we stumbled across that Reddit post, I used it as an excuse for us to sleep together. I honestly thought that if I couldn't have you as a lover, I’d settle for being friends with benefits. I was actually planning out a strategy to blackmail you into staying with me for the next few weeks—"

"Hold on," Till interrupted, holding up his right hand. "…I need a moment to process this, because that paragraph literally had like, 5 pieces of informations all at once. When did you start loving me? Why on earth did you assume I’d reject you??? What do you mean 'friends-with-benefits'?! And did you just admitted you're gonna BLACKMAIL ME!?!"

Fortunately, with everything finally out in the open, they sat down and fixed their mountain of misunderstandings. Had they skipped this conversation, they undoubtedly would have walked into a toxic, angsty BL trope. But instead, they chose communication. And with that, they finally secured their well-deserved happy ending!

.

.

.

"Wanna switch hoodies?" Till murmured, his head cradled by a plushy pillow while another was trapped snugly between his thighs.

The casual offer made Ivan’s entire face light up. His head bobbed with an instant unbridled eagerness. "Sure!" Then, a sudden, delicious urge to tease took hold of him. "Oh I mean, Sure." Ivan recalibrated, dropping his register into his smooth low range, trying to project an aura of a nonchalant cool person as if he hadn’t just vibrated with the energy of an expectant puppy a second ago.

Till gave him a dry deadpan stare at him and a long-suffering sigh. "Bruh." He was entirely used to Ivan’s dramatic antics by now.

Shaking his head, Till tugged the hem of his own oversized hoodie, pulling it over his head. Since Ivan was feeling lazy, Till leaned over to replace his hoodie for him. Ivan let him, wearing a thoroughly pleased expression as Till dressed him like a pampered, spoiled princess.

And to be frank, Till relished in every single second of it too. Ivan was an independent person, rarely letting anyone cater to him and stubbornly refusing the idea. However now, Till would greedily seize any opportunity to coddle and spoil his persistent partner.

Ivan buried his nose into the collar, inhaling the familiar scent of Till and a contented sigh vibrated in his chest. Even now that they were officially together, not much had changed. They still borrow each other's clothes, call each other names, tease and banter endlessly, make fun of each other, and express themselves comfortably to one another. Really, they had practically been acting like lovers even when they were just friends. 'Maybe' Ivan mused, 'that’s why everyone looked so surprised whenever I used to insist we were just friends?'

After an hour of mindlessly scrolling through his phone, Ivan suddenly perked up. "Oh, right! I stumbled across something incredibly fascinating on X just now" He nudged Till, beckoning him closer so he could see Ivan's screen.

"Hm? What is it?" Till moved closer until their shoulders brushed.

[ If you wanna improve your tongue, mouth, and breathing techniques. Try deepthroating! ]

"Why do they make it sound like a product advertisement?" Till was utterly done with this world, he lost all hope for humanity.

"Truth be told, I'm not entirely certain how that would work when your dick is literally punching my lungs?.. But thinking about it logically, I suppose it could help too, in some ways… I mean, the main thing it does is conquer your gag reflex. You're essentially training your nerves to stop panicking when something touches the back of your throat. To do that without choking, you have to mentally force your throat to stay wide open and loose, which requires a lot of muscle control. In short, you learn how to relax that tension in your muscles." Ivan stroked his chin thoughtfully, letting out a gentle hum.

"Plus, since your oral cavity is completely blocked, you have no choice but to take deep, calm breaths through your nose or else you'll suffocate. And humming while your mouth is occupied creates pressure down to your larynx that keeps your vocal cords vibrating smoothly. So... yeah. And if I may add, there's also training your tongue to be flexible since you need to stick it all the way out."

"How the heck do you know all that?! Have you done it before?" In less than a millisecond, Till's curious, cat-like confusion sharpened into a fiercely dangerous expression.

'His moodswings are so fast it's impressive, honestly.' Ivan mentally noted.

"Uh— I’m just theorizing, really. I’m no expert~ shrugs Besides, your length is so intimidating it would surely bruise my throat... But then again, we do have those flavored condoms and lubricants, so I’m down—"

A bead of sweat rolled down Till's temple as his panic flared. "Uhhhh, haha I have something to do, goodbye, I gotta go!"

How the fuck did Ivan possess the stamina for a second round when he claimed to be exhausted hours ago? Till was the one who spent days building up his endurance and stamina, lengthening his performances night after night. But Ivan was an entirely different breed, he has a void pure of insatiable greed that will suck Till dry till he dies.