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Beck honestly knew he was not the biggest asshole on the planet because he wasn't on the planet. He hadn't been for some time and he still had a long time before he'd be back on Earth once they rescued Watney. If they could rescue him. If they could get back safely.
He was admittedly the biggest asshole in space though. All because he decided that the best course of action of your life and his life was to end the relationship of two years. He was logical about it. This whole venture was going to be two years now. That would have been two years of the most extreme long distance relationship. It wasn't fair to you. So, with NASA reading his emails, he ended things. The response was the most professional fuck you he had ever read because again, NASA was reading things.
He didn't know what the future held. He didn't know if they could save Watney. He didn't know if they would come home. At least you could get a goodbye this way. But now in the aftermath and the hurt, because it did hurt him, he remembered the lyrics of an old song his parents played.
‘Who will be there to take my place…’ would you move on? Who would be the next guy? Would they be more successful than him? He was a doctor and an astronaut. How do you compete with that? Well, he figured, they wouldn't leave the damn planet. Would you wait for him to come home and rekindle things? Maybe he could find a way to make it back to you someday. Maybe you'd let him be friends and exist in the periphery of your life.
Lots of maybes. Lots of unknowns. He wished he could go wherever you’d go.