Chapter Text
Augustine sat hunched at the edge of his bed, the soft glow of his phone the only light cutting through the darkness of the room.
His thumb moved slowly up the screen.
A flood of messages.
Weeks’ worth.
Months.
Years.
Most of them he’d read a hundred times since Winnie vanished.
Auggie <3
You awake?
Winn
No.
Auggie <3
Liar.
Winn
Okay, maybe.
The corner of Augustine's mouth twitched, a fleeting smile that faded just as quickly.
He kept scrolling.
Every message felt different now. Every joke, every late-night chat, every promise. Things he’d never thought twice about suddenly seemed heavy with meaning. It was as if there were signs hidden in the lines that he had somehow overlooked.
His thumb paused on one message.
Winn
I'd never leave you, Auggie.
Augustine stared at the words until they began to blur.
"Yeah," he muttered bitterly into the silence of his room. "Funny how that turned out."
The phone felt heavier in his hands.
Outside, rain tapped softly against the window. Inside, the only sound was the faint hum of his radiator in the corner.
Weeks.
Weeks without a call. Without a text. Without a trace.
Everyone else still talked about searches, missing person reports, and hopeful theories.
Augustine had stopped believing in those a long time ago.
His eyes drifted back to the message.
Winn
I’d never leave you, Auggie.
For a moment, he thought about deleting the conversation.
Instead, he locked his phone and tossed it onto the bed beside him, huddling up under his covers.
If Winnie really were missing, they would have found him by now. At least that’s what Augustine told himself.
No, he must’ve just run away. Into a new world without him, found somewhere else where life was worth living. Winnie wasn’t the type to get himself in trouble. Everybody loved him; nobody would want to hurt him.
So logically, that meant he left on his own accord.
Augustine bit his lower lip, closing his eyes as he choked back tears that threatened to spill. His best friend was gone, leaving him with nothing but tainted memories and stupid text threads that hurt to read.
Looking back on it, he should’ve known.
Winston Bosko was a wild card; it made sense that he wouldn’t want to be tied down forever. Augustine just thought that maybe- Maybe- Winnie would stay for him.
Like usual, he was wrong.
The rain hadn’t let up in the following weeks since Winnie’s disappearance. It was like the world missed him, too.
Augustine sat at the kitchen table, mindlessly picking at the food he didn’t intend to eat. He hadn’t since Winnie left, not really. He only had enough that was required to survive, but it felt like a chore. He didn’t want to eat, he didn’t want to do anything at all, he simply wanted to sink into a hole and never be found.
The TV hummed faintly in the background, the same news report that had been circling for weeks. Local teen missing, no new news on his whereabouts.
Augustine gripped his spoon so hard it dug into his palm. Missing, huh? That’s what they were still calling it?
They had to let up eventually, right? Realize he was just tired of living here, tired of everyone, tired of Augustine. They’d probably hear from him soon enough, so he didn’t understand why everyone was getting so nervous.
His book bag felt heavier than usual when he lifted it, rising from the table and tossing it over his shoulder. Augustine still attended his classes despite his mom insisting he didn’t have to. She was a bit pushy about him taking a break, after all, his best friend was missing.
It didn’t matter to Augustine, though. So what if he was gone? If Winnie could live without Augustine, Augustine could live without Winnie. The pain he was feeling now was only temporary.
Augustine was abruptly pulled from his thoughts when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, turning to meet his mother's gaze.
She looked concerned, as usual.
“Sweetie, you’re staring off into space again,” Her tone was soft as she spoke, her thumb lightly brushing against Augustine’s shoulder. “Are you sure you want to go to school today?”
A sigh left Augustine’s lips as he shook her hand off, his fingers curling tight around the strap of his bag. He hated this part. The sympathy. It always seemed so forced; it made him sick.
“I’m fine,” Augustine said bluntly, not wanting to go through the back and forth of convincing her he was okay when he wasn’t. It was obvious enough that he wasn’t doing well; he just didn’t want to admit it to anyone, not even himself.
His mother didn’t seem convinced. Her eyebrows furrowed as she watched Augustine slip on his shoes, her hands resting helplessly at her sides.
“Augustine,” She began, taking a hesitant step closer like she was scared to spook him. “Your best friend is missing, you don’t have to be fine-”
“Don’t start.” Augustine quickly cut her off. He grit his teeth, tying his laces too tight for comfort. “He’s not missing, he just doesn’t want to be found. Winnie wouldn’t get himself in that kind of trouble.”
Augustine fixed his bag over his shoulder as he opened the front door, feeling the cool air hit his skin. It was calming in a way, a refreshing break from the heat of resentment building up inside of him.
“You’re going to have to accept it eventually, Augustine,” He heard from behind him as he stepped out, not bothering to respond.
Augustine slammed the door shut a moment later.
The walk to school was eerily quiet.
Usually, he went with Winnie, who would talk his ear off the whole way. He used to find it a bit irritating, but now he wanted nothing more than to hear that familiar voice next to him.
He could still hear it faintly in his head. What’d you pack for lunch today, Auggie? He’d always ask, despite it being the same thing almost every time. Do you wanna sit together? We totally should! C’mon, it’d be fun!
Augustine picked up the pace.
His thoughts followed him despite that, picking apart his sanity. He hated this, all of it. Leave it to Winnie to drive him mad.
The walk felt longer than usual, the road seemingly endless. It was strange, everything looked unfamiliar despite the fact that he’d walked this route countless times. He was probably just more aware now that he didn’t have Winnie to distract him, though.
Damn idiot, Augustine thought, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Why’d you have to up and leave? A long sigh slipped past his lips, looking up at the cloudy sky. Augustine felt lost, like he was thrown into a world he was never supposed to be in.
The coldness of the rain kept him from going totally insane, though. It was grounding, a soft reminder that he was real. Then again, a reminder that this nightmare was real life wasn’t all that helpful either.
Was I just not good enough for you? The thoughts continued despite his attempts to force them to stop, his gaze shifting to look down at the wet concrete of the sidewalk. Was there something I could’ve done to make you stay?
Despite his best attempts to stop it, tears began to form in Augustine’s eyes. As much as he hated to admit it, he did miss Winnie. He missed him a lot. He missed all their petty arguments and their late-night conversations.
He missed the way Winnie would sneak over to his house when he couldn’t sleep, and the way he was always just… there. No matter what, Winnie was always by his side when he needed him to be. Now he was just gone.
Now that he was thinking about it, Winnie had seemed more distant in the weeks before his ‘disappearance’.
Augustine could remember their discussions about the future, how they seemed so innocent and meaningless then. Their plans aligned; they both wanted to go to college and see the world.
Now it seemed like Winnie chose to do all that without him.
Augustine figured Winnie never explicitly stated he saw Augustine by his side when he spoke about his future. Augustine never thought he needed to; he just assumed they’d be together forever.
Looking back on it more, the last time they spoke, Winnie was rather distant.
Augustine could remember it clearly, the way they stood outside of Augustine’s house. It was the first rainy day of spring, and the two had to share an umbrella because Augustine had forgotten his.
Winnie wasn’t as talkative as usual on their walk home. He was just staring off into the distance, never once looking at Augustine. It was strange, Winnie always had a habit of looking at Augustine when they walked together. (Which led to him walking into a pole once or twice.)
That time, though, the horizon seemed far more interesting to Winnie than Augustine was.
Winnie had dropped Augustine off at home, so he didn’t get wet. They just stood there for a moment. Neither of them had spoken a word, just looking at each other like nothing else existed.
Augustine was going to speak, but Winnie beat him to it.
“I’ll see you around, Auggie.”
Winnie’s voice was softer than usual, laced with a sadness Augustine couldn’t quite place.
Augustine didn’t mention it, though. Now he kind of wished he had.
“See you.”
Augustine stopped walking after a moment. He clutched the strap of his bag tight, feeling the fabric bend under the force. He took a moment to collect himself, gathering his thoughts before he took another step.
Except when he took a step, his foot didn’t connect with the ground.
Instead, it fell through.
Before Augustine could collect himself, he was falling. It wasn’t a graceful fall, either.
When he finally processed what was happening, he was staring at bright fluorescent lights and endless yellowish walls.
Not to mention the familiar face smiling down at him.
“It’s been a while, Auggie.”