Chapter Text
Will arrived at the Wheelers' house with a backpack too light for someone who was going to stay 'for a while'.
That's what they told him, for a while. No one specified how much.
Jonathan arrived behind him, carrying two larger bags and the camera hanging on his shoulder. Joyce Byers had gone to live at Hooper’s and Eleven's cabin, by the lake.
Karen smiled more than necessary as she opened the door, as if she was trying to fill a silence that did not yet exist. She asked them if they were hungry, if they were comfortable, if they needed anything. Will said no to everything, because he always said no to everything, and he had learned a long time ago that occupying little space was a way to survive. Mike was behind her with his hands in his pants pockets. He seemed uncomfortable, stiff, as if he didn't know where to place himself inside his own body.
''Hey'' he said.
Will looked up. "Hey”.
They didn't hug. They never did it anymore.
It had been a year since their friendship cooled down. Moving to Lenora made Will have much more free time, away from his usual circle of friends, so it was inevitable to overthink. He missed his best friend, but not like missing having someone to make plans with without warning, or complaining about any nonsense that happened to him during the day. It was more like a constant feeling that did not let him sleep at night and led him to think about all the good times they had spent together and even small interactions they had when they thought no one was looking, which Mike probably did without thinking but were engraved in Will’s body. Every look, every touch, the way Mike reserved a more delicate way of speaking just for him, always ending up sitting next to each other even in a room full of people.
Maybe he was overthinking everything and his mind had simply exaggerated it. Yes. He wasn't interpreting it well, it had to be that. But it was too late, he couldn't stop thinking about him constantly, he couldn't avoid these feelings that made his heart race.
Weeks went by and the only thing he knew about Mike was because of the letters Eleven received. At first it seemed fair to him, she was his girlfriend, of course he was going to write to her more often, but when he saw that he didn’t receive any letter or call he could not help but feel betrayed. He didn't know what he had done wrong, he thought that maybe Mike needed a little space so he respected his silence.
Since he found out that Mike was going to visit them on Spring Break, his mind didn't let him think about anything else, full of anticipation looking forward to the day and going back to how everything was before. But from the moment they went to pick him up at the airport everything was weird, Mike spent the whole week paying barely any attention to him and with a rather cold attitude. Attitude that persisted, Will came to think that it was a divine punishment, for feeling things that he knew perfectly well that it was not normal to feel for a best friend. For a boy.
It was already the end of summer, the decision to return to Hawkins was due to the need to end the apocalypse that was coming from the Upside Down and bury all the suffering that had created for them. Hopper's cabin was small, so they had no choice but to send Jonathan and Will to the Wheeler's house, an idea that Karen offered to Joyce.
So there was Will, at the entrance of the Wheelers grabbing his backpack with one hand, while with the other he gave something similar to an uncomfortable pat on Mike's shoulder, who as it had been customary for months, resisted even the simplest gestures.
The living room was exactly the same as always, too organised. Holly was sitting on the floor with her dolls, talking to herself and she looked up to observe them really hard. It was obvious that she had yet to learn how to pretend to be disinterested. Ted Wheeler was sitting in the armchair, with the newspaper unfolded like a wall. The television was muttering something about international politics. Will hesitated for a second, but Karen spoke first.
"Ted, dear, Joyce's children are here. Remember that I told you that they were going to have to stay with us for a while”.
Ted looked up just enough to confirm that there was another person in the room. "Ah” he said, and returned to the newspaper.
Will noticed how a discomfort settled in his stomach.
Nancy went downstairs at that moment, as if she had been listening from above. She stopped when she saw them.
"Jonathan” she said, and her voice was different.
Jonathan smiled, tired but genuine. "Hey".
They didn't touch each other, not in front of their parents. But Will saw it all: the way Nancy lowered her voice, how Jonathan placed himself slightly closer to her than necessary, how they both avoided looking at each other for too long.
"The basement is ready” Karen announced. "Mike, can you show them?"
Mike nodded too quickly. ''Yes, of course''.
They went down the stairs to the basement with the hollow sound of footsteps echoing between the sounds. Will had spent countless hours there. It was the place where everything had begun. Now the space was transformed.
There were two mattresses leaning against the wall, folded blankets, a small lamp that projected a warm and soft light. Some boxes had been set aside, but not completely.
"It's not bad, don’t you think?” Jonathan said, giving his brother a small shoulder-to-shoulder shock, followed by a knowing smile.
Mike stood near the stairs, as if he didn't know if he should go down completely or leave. He vaguely signalled the space.
"If you need anything... I mean... there's a bathroom upstairs... well, you already know”.
"Thank you" Jonathan said.
Will didn't say anything, he was too busy processing that he was going to sleep there. Just below Mike's room, separated only by an antique wooden ceiling.
Mike went down one more step, bent down to help move a box, and leave them more space to settle down.
"Well," he said "That’s it, I guess".
He went up the stairs without looking back.
Jonathan began to organise things naturally, humming something low, as if that wasn't a huge change in their lives. Will sat on the mattress and left the backpack next to him. He thought he had survived much worse places, this shouldn't be so hard.
Dinner was noisy, dishes being passed from one side of the table to the other while Karen talked non-stop asking if the heating worked well in the basement, if they preferred pasta or meat. Holly interrupted every other sentence. The food was quite delicious, I mean, it's not that Will's mother didn't cook well, but because she was always too busy with work she ended up making it quickly and with not much effort. Although there was too much food on the table, Will ate just enough since he didn't want to seem rude. Nancy and Jonathan spent the whole dinner kicking each other under the table and sharing complicit smiles.
Every time there was a silence Mike filled it with the first nonsense that crossed his mind. "I don't know why there are so many mosquitoes this year, it's impossible to go out without being bitten”. He looked up just in time to meet Will's, but looked away immediately, as if he had nothing to look at there.
That night Jonathan fell asleep quickly. Tiredness was a constant in his body.
Upstairs, the house was crunching. Smooth steps, a bed frame that moved. He recognised the rhythm. He closed his eyes.
The Wheelers' house was very different from their old house, it was a home, warm, tidy, clean, a clear routine and a structured family. He always felt a little bit jealous when he came to see Mike, because Will has never considered any of his houses a home where you feel safe, wrapped in love, with good memories and stability. He opened his eyes, stared at the ceiling of the basement, counting breaths that were not only his. His mind wouldn't let him sleep because he could only think about the fact that Mike was upstairs, he knew perfectly where his room was and how his rhythm when he walked sounded.
He didn't want everything to get weirder than it had been lately. It was inevitable to think that he was invading his space, just at this delicate moment in which his friendship was.
But, why was his friendship in this delicate moment?
He wondered if he had done something wrong, maybe he was upset because Will hadn't called or written to him all the time he was living in Lenora, maybe Mike had learned to be without him and no longer needed to talk to him like before.
It took him a while to fall asleep. When he finally did, it was a pretty light dream. He had, again, nightmares of the Upside Down, where he was running away from something through the slimy forest. He woke up several times with the feeling that someone was watching him, although he knew that there was no one there besides him and his brother.
Early in the morning, Jonathan was already awake. The sound of the coffee maker leaking from above arrived muffled, followed by footsteps, a dry closet blow and the constant murmur of the television.
"Have you slept a little?" Jonathan asked in a low voice.
Will shrugged his shoulders “Enough”.
His brother did not insist, he knew that Will's night terrors had become frequent, so it was a relief to know that at least he managed to get some sleep. He just ruffled his hair carefully before going up the stairs.
When Will went up, the kitchen was already full. Karen went back and forth with an energy too high for the time it was and Holly was sitting at the table, swinging her legs.
Mike came in right after Will.
They looked at each other, just for a second. Mike looked away first.
"There's cereal” Karen said "And toast. Jonathan, if you want coffee...''.
Will sat at the corner of the table, trying not to take up too much space. Mike sat in front of him, leaving an empty chair between them.
Ted turned the page of the newspaper.
"Do you have class today?" He asked without looking up.
"No,” Mike replied, "There is still a month left for school to start”.
"Oh". Silence again.
Will watched Mike, the way he bent slightly over the bowl, the way he pushed the cereal with the spoon without too much intention. He seemed more tired than normal. He thought that maybe he hadn't slept well either. The idea caused him a strange feeling of closeness, as if, even separated by ceilings and walls, he had not been alone that night.
After breakfast Jonathan said he was going for a walk to check the changes that they were doing to the city. Nancy quickly offered to accompany him.
Will stayed in the living room, sitting on the edge of the sofa, not knowing very well what to do with his hands. Holly climbed up next to him and showed him a drawing full of colours in her notebook.
"Do you like it?" She asked.
"A lot" Will said, and he said it genuinely. "You're much better at watercolours than me”.
"Do you also like to paint?"
Will nodded "I'm not an expert, but it helps me relax. Although I haven't drawn anything for a long time”.
"I have an idea, I'll draw you a picture if you make one for me" Holly said, opening her notebook and looking for a blank page to paint.
"I think it's a very good idea" he smiled.
Holly got up from the couch and jumped up to her room to get everything they were going to need, but she was stopped halfway by her mother.
"Help me put the clean clothes in your closet”.
Will heard the door close when Jonathan and Nancy left.
Mike appeared in the door frame.
"You can..." he began, and stopped "You can go down to the basement if you want. Or stay here, whatever makes you more comfortable''.
Will nodded "Okay".
They didn't move.
"I was going-" Mike made a vague gesture with his hand " You know, to order some things".
He turned to leave, but stopped drily, as if he had forgotten something important. He stood still for a second too long.
"You don't have to..." he said "I mean, it's not unusual for you to be here”.
Will looked up with a small smile.
"I know”.
Mike looked at him, as if he wanted to say something else, but he didn’t. He went up the stairs two by two.
Will was left alone again, but not for long. Holly came running down the stairs with her arms full of sheets, pencils and colours. She dropped everything on the dining room table and they both sat down. They began to take the colours they were going to use. Will smiled when he saw the girl's face of concentration, his frown and tight lips were a vivid image of Mike, she took the brown crayon and drew a huge circle in the middle of the paper.
"Will,” she said suddenly, without looking up. "What do you like to draw the most?"
Will stared at her for a few seconds, thinking carefully about the answer. He looked down at the pencils, chose a random one and rolled it through his fingers.
"Things," he said at the end, almost in a low voice.
"What things?"
"There are times when an image stays in my head for a long time and well, I draw it... to get it out of there”.
At that moment, a few steps sounded behind them. Mike appeared without making a sound, as if he had been there for a while. He passed by the table and entered the kitchen. He opened the fridge, took out a drink and put it on the counter before opening it. He took a long sip, looking at the window distractedly.
Will looked at him sideways, Mike didn't seem to be listening.
"Well, I love painting animals” Holly said with her attention focussed again on her drawing.
For an hour the only thing that sounded was the rubbing of the pencils on the folio. When they finished, they showed each other the results.
"It's you but if you were a mouse," Will tilted his head and took the drawing carefully.
The mouse had ears too big for his body, crooked moustaches and a lock of dark hair falling on his forehead.
"I love it" he said smiling, and proceeded to show her what he had drawn to her.
"It's a guardian unicorn".
Holly frowns, "guardian of what?"
"Of good people. It only appears when someone is afraid or alone''.
She looks at him with her eyes wide open. "And why am I on the unicorn?"
“Because you don't get scared easily. And because unicorns only let special people take them”.
Holly smiles proudly hugging the drawing.
After picking up everything, Will went down to the basement with the drawing that Holly had made in his hand. He took out his sketchbook from the drawer closest to his mattress, opened it on the table running his finger through the pages. He thought about the spring break drawing, the carefully chosen colours, the way he had mentally rehearsed that moment for weeks, to end up undoing everything with an improvised lie. Eleven asked me to. The phrase still had the same bitter taste.
That had been the last time he had drawn, until today.
He placed Holly's drawing between two pages full of scribbles and stayed a few seconds watching the mouse made with firm, determined strokes and a cheerful expression.
Is that how she perceives him ? As a cheerful person?
Without a doubt, it is not how he perceives himself, he has felt like a disaster for a long time, unable to get anything to work out for him. He had the impression that everything he touched or put some effort into ended up being destroyed, so he didn't think it was a good idea to move to the house of one of the most important people in his life. He didn't want to finish ruining the little friendship they had left. But Mike was going to be too close to ignore him, it was going to be hard for him to keep his distance.
Upstairs, the television turned up the volume a little.
''... more and more confusion among young people'' said a male voice '' promoting lifestyles that...''.
Ted squealed, uncomfortable and changed the channel abruptly.
"What nonsense" he murmured. "Then we wonder why the boys don't even know what they want anymore”.
Will stood very still.
He didn't know exactly why that comment went through his chest, but it did.
He heard footsteps.
"Will".
He looked up just as Mike was going down the last steps. He was caught by surprise by it, he wasn't expecting him near the basement.
His body acted on instinct.
He turned around taking Holly's drawing out of the sketchbook almost at the same time as he was closing it, and dragged the notebook on the table, just enough to place it behind his body. He left it there covering it with a hand on top.
"What are you doing?" Mike asked from the stairs.
"Nothing” Will replied too fast with his heart still in his throat from the unexpected visit. Then he lifted the drawing. "Your sister drew this for me."
Mike went down the last step and stood still. He looked at the paper, but his eyes diverted, just for a second, to Will's back. From where he was, he could only see the corner of the blue sketchbook, just peeking between the arm and the table. Not enough to know exactly what it was.
He tilted his head a little as if the angle could give him more information.
Will noticed the gesture, squeezed the lid with his fingers and dragged the sketchbook long enough to cover it completely with his back. That apparently made Mike react, his eyes returned to the drawing.
"A mouse,” Mike said.
"She says it 's me."
Mike got a small sideways smile. "It's true, he has your bangs. Holly it’s not bad at it, really. If she keeps going she will draw as good as you”.
Was that a compliment?
It had been a long since the last time he heard Mike say something good about him.
"I'm sure she will end up getting better than me. My drawings aren’t that big of a deal.''.
The sentence was suspended between the two, without either knowing very well how to receive it. Will looked down at the drawing, he straightened one of the corners with his thumb although it was already straight. Mike opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, then closed it squeezing his lips. He scratched the back of his neck, took a step back and rested the weight on the other foot. He looked at the drawing again, then at Will, as if he was waiting for him to say something. But Will didn’t.
That's when he roared, as if he had just remembered why he had come down.
"Ah...by the way," he said, " Dustin and Lucas are coming to play for a while''.
"Oh, cool, okay”.
"If you want, I was going to get the board and everything ready, in case you want to help me” Mike said, pointing to the shelf full of board games.
"Yes, of course” he took advantage of the moment when Mike went to the shelf to run to his mattress and put the notebook in the drawer of the dresser, leaving Holly's drawing also inside it.
They placed everything almost in complete silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable anymore.
Mike took the D&D board off the shelf and left it on the table, setting aside the comics that were there to make room. Will, sitting in the chair, leaned forward to reach the figurines and began to order them by colours, aligning them carefully.
The doorbell rang shortly after.
Dustin came down like a whirlwind, talking before even finishing getting downstairs. Lucas followed him, calmer, although with the backpack still hanging from one shoulder.
"Dude, I thought we were going to be late" Dustin said. "My mother got annoying forcing me to clean the bathroom”.
"Yeah, right,” Lucas snorted. "We weren't late, you were looking for your lucky dice."
Mike stood up to dap them both, ending in a friendly push on the shoulder.
"Watch out," Mike protested, laughing. "Cause this time, I’m winning”.
"That's what you always say” Lucas replied, pushing him back with his forearm.
Will came over to greet them. They each sat down in their usual chair around the board.
"By the way," Mike added as he sat down and brought the board closer. "Nancy and Jonathan went out this morning for a walk around town”.
Everyone paid attention.
"They have seen the construction work they're doing," Mike continued. "They say there are steel plates everywhere, trucks, new fences... They're covering everything up.''
"Great” Lucas murmured. "Maybe that way they will manage to definitively seal all the portals to the Upside Down”.
"That's what Nancy said" Mike replied, shrugging his shoulders. "People at least seem calmer, although a lot of help will be needed to finish it as soon as possible”.
Dustin threw the dice without waiting for anyone to give him permission. But he didn’t make a move, instead he looked at Lucas.
"How 's Max?"
The question fell more carefully than other times. Lucas didn't respond immediately. He leaned back, took a deep breath, and then shrugged his shoulders slightly.
"The same” he said. '' She's still asleep. Doctors say that... well, it's a good sign that it hasn't gotten worse.”.
"Have you gone today? "Mike asked, this time without a joking tone.
Lucas nodded. "Yes. I come straight from the hospital.'' . He forced a half smile. "I've talked to her for a while, as always. I told her that I was coming here today... in case she hears me''.
There was a brief, respectful silence. Dustin fiddled with a dice between his fingers.
"I'm sure she does” he said at the end. "Max is stubborn”.
Lucas let out a short laugh ''She is”.
Mike tapped him with his elbow.
"When she wakes up, you will have to explain her all the games you’ve lost while she was sleeping ."
"See, you are wrong there, Wheeler," Lucas added, looking at the board. "Because this one, I'm winning it".
The tension gradually disappeared. The game started and, with it, Mike transformed again. He gestured when he spoke, exaggerated the voices of his character, leaned over the board to discuss rules with Dustin and kept getting competitive with Lucas.
"That's not fair," he said. "You've thrown it ahead of time”.
"Because you were taking ages" Lucas replied, leaning towards him to snatch the die from his hand.
They pushed each other again, laughing, until Mike ended up lying on the chair, without stopping smiling.
Will also played, he threw the dice when it was his turn. He wasn’t talking much, he was mostly watching them. Watching Mike, especially.
That Mike who he knew so well and who, even so, now seemed to exist only for others. It gave him a little nostalgia and made him feel quite uncomfortable with the fact that he knows that that version of Mike was not for him.
When they were done playing, the four of them help put everything away, now calmer without the intensity of the game. Dustin folded the board while Lucas kept the figurines in the box, still arguing for a dubious sketchy roll. Mike went up the stairs with them to say goodbye and Will stayed downstairs, organising the dice with a slowness he didn't need.
Dustin went downstairs again to get his cap and stopped when he saw him.
"Hey" he said, leaning on the shelf. "Hey, Will”.
Will looked up. "Yes?"
Dustin hesitated just before speaking, as if he was choosing the right words.
"How are you doing, living here with Mike?”. He shrugged his shoulders. "After Lenora and all that... you guys seemed a little weird with each other”.
Will pressed his lips for a second.
"We are fine" he replied. "Normal." He scratched the back of his neck, looking away at the floor. ''Now we are... better. Much better''.
Dustin didn't say anything at first. He just looked at him, tilting his head a little, as if he was trying to read something that was not in the words.
"Are you sure? '' he asked at the end. "Because, well, he's been my friend for many years, but so are you. And if something happens... you can tell me'' He smiled, twisting his mouth. '' I promise not to snitch, well, maybe a little. But if I have to beat his ass, I will do it”.
Will let out a short, sincere laugh.
"Thank you, Dustin” he said. "Really. But we're fine”.
"Okay," he nodded, raising his hands as a sign of surrender. "I just wanted to make sure”.
Lucas called him from upstairs and Dustin left, leaving the basement in silence.
A while later, the house returned to its usual calm. Will went up to the kitchen to get something to drink, he found Karen leaning on the counter, drying the dishes with a rag.
"Will," she said, smiling. "Could you take this to Mike? ''. He handed her a gray sweatshirt, freshly ironed.
"Of course” he replied. "I'll give it to him now”.
He went up the stairs slowly. When he was in front of Mike's door, he hesitated for a moment before knocking.
"Come in!" was heard from inside.
Will walked into the room. Mike was sitting in bed reading a comic, he got up when he saw who the person entering the room was.
"Your mother told me to give this to you" Will said, showing him the sweatshirt. "Where...?".
"You can leave it there on the chair, I’ll hang it up later" he replied without giving it much importance.
Will nodded. As he approached the desk his gaze travelled the room almost unintentionally.
Everything was the same as he remembered, the bed stuck to the wall, the same red carpet, the same desk with the turntable that they used to listen to music for hours when they had sleepovers as kids, the same Star Wars posters hanging on the walls.
Until he saw it.
On the wall, next to the desk, hung the spring break drawing. And right next to it, a framed photo of Mike and Eleven, smiling at the camera.
Will recognised it instantly. Eleven gave him that picture of them together for his birthday, in Lenora. Will was there when she wrapped it.
His stomach slammed shut.
It was really his fault. He was the one who, at the last moment, took a step back and ended up telling Mike that Eleven commissioned the drawing, and he hated himself for it.
He had spent weeks drawing it, carefully preparing how he was going to confess to Mike everything he felt, at last. He was going to be completely honest and transparent, without fear of the inevitable rejection that that was going to be.
Seeing that, something that had a huge emotional charge to him, was exposed to everyone's sight with so much affection, because Mike thought that it came from someone else, made him want to cry.
He did that to himself. There was no one else to blame.
"Did you want anything else?" Mike asked, taking him out of the trance.
Will blinked. "No," he answered quickly. "It was just... it was just that”.
He left the sweatshirt on the chair and forced a smile, squeezing his lips to avoid crying.
"Ah, okay”.
There was a second of silence.
"Good night,” Will said.
"Good night” Mike said back.
He closed the door behind him carefully. As he went down the stairs, tears began to run down his cheeks in silence.