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"Jesus, you look like shit."
Marvin gave a half-hearted smirk, having grown accustomed to Whizzer's occasional unprovoked insults. It had almost become a routine- everyday, before Marvin left for work, Whizzer would stand in the doorway just to give a snarky remark about his below average appearance before chuckling and giving him a kiss goodbye. Marvin assumed today was no different.
Throwing on his jacket as he got ready to leave, Marvin played along with what he thought was another playful game of back and forth banter. "I suppose you only keep me around to make you look even better when you stand next to me, right?" He joked, voice oddly muffled as if he hadn't cleared his throat.
Whizzer didn't laugh, only stepped closer, realizing Marvin assumed he was just teasing. "No, Marvin, that's not-"
"If you ask me, I think you look beautiful enough without me to compare. Not that I'm complaining about you dragging me along with you," Marvin remarked, laughing as he leaned in to bid Whizzer goodbye. Only, he stopped when he saw his boyfriend's expression- something that wasn't his usual annoyingly endearing grin. He almost looked concerned as if he was worried something bad might occur.
Marvin took a step back. "Is something wrong?"
Raising both hands to cup Marvin's face, Whizzer brought Marvin a little nearer to look at him closer. "You look like shit," he repeated.
Scoffing, Marvin tried to pull himself away from Whizzer's hands. "Okay, I get it, I look like shit. I heard you the first time. Now you're just insulting me." His tone was probably supposed to sound annoyed, but it was hard to take seriously when the way he spoke made it clear he was congested.
"No, I- Marvin, quit pouting, I didn't mean that," Whizzer tried, slightly irritated as he watched Marvin try to walk away with a scowl. Whizzer supposed he could've worded it differently- perhaps "you look a bit off" or even a simple "are you feeling okay?" that didn't require commenting on his appearance- but Marvin was so easily offended, he probably would've taken those the wrong way too.
Reluctently, Marvin turned back with a groan and then a quiet cough directed toward the side. "What did you mean, then? Enlighten me."
Whizzer rolled his eyes at Marvin's sarcastic tone. "What I meant is you look sick." He head did a quick up and down motion as to gesture to Marvin's appearance, specifically his pale complexion, eyebags more prominent than usual, red nose, glossy eyes, and slight tremble whenever he moved his hands. "Are you feeling okay?"
"For Christ's sake, Whizzer- I have to go to work, I'm not going to sit here and let you critique how I look. Everyday we do this- you mock me and then get mad at me when I take it the wrong way. God forbid I was up a bit late last night and I might not look absolutely stellar. I have better things to do," he said, reaching for the door handle and sniffing to clear his nose. "And by the way, I think your hair's thinning. The bald spot's getting bigger."
"God, Marvin, you're so goddamn immature!"
Marvin put a hand to his chest as if he was being accused. "*I'm being immature? The second I got down here, I didn't get a 'good morning, Marvin' or 'have a nice day', I got 'you look like shit' because you're so conceited that you can't bare the idea of being polite every once and a while to the man you've been seeing for ten months! No, basic decency is a foreign concept to Whizzer!" Marvin shouted sarcastically with anger.
Unable to ignore the slip up, Whizzer added in a quiet voice, "nine months."
"THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!" Marvin yelled, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "THIS IS THE REASON WE FIGHT ALL THE TIME, BECAUSE YOU ARE CONSTANTLY BERATING ME!" He placed a hand on his throat and coughed, his screaming clearly affecting him.
Whizzer immediately fought back, shouting, "YOU THINK EVERYTHING I SAY IS AN ATTACK AGAINST YOU! IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE SO INSECURE AND TAKE OFFENSE TO EVERYTHING! MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT BLAMING OTHERS FOR THINGS YOU CAUSED AND START WORKING ON BEING LESS OF AN ASSHOLE!"
Though his own fighting back certainly fueled the fire, Whizzer was pissed Marvin had turned this into another screaming match. Marvin might have been right when he said Whizzer couldn't be polite, but Whizzer didn't think accidentally using the wrong tone warranted getting yelled at when he was just trying to ask if Marvin felt okay. What was supposed to be genuine exchange had turned into the two indulging in their favorite passion: fighting.
For a minute, they continued going back and forth, bringing up past offenses that had nothing to do with what the fight was about. It had turned into a game of refusing to acknowledge their own faults by attacking the other.
Finally, in the midst of the fight, Marvin glanced at his watch before interrupting Whizzer with "I have to leave, I don't have time for this."
Whizzer crossed his arms with resentment as he watched Marvin reach for the door handle with a scowl on his face. He was looking forward to the bastard leaving so he didn't have to deal with his infuriating antics any longer, but then he recalled what had started the bantering in the first place.
"Wait, Marvin," he said quickly, grabbing Marvin's shoulder. "You should stay home."
Turning to face him, Marvin assumed it was the setup to another insult. "And why is that?"
Whizzer moved his hand from Marvin's shoulder to the side of his face. "Because I think you're sick."
Marvin froze for a moment, looking at Whizzer's eyes as he felt his hand gently make contact with his cheek. "Excuse me?"
"Seriously? All that yelling you did and you didn't hear how your voice sounded? You're congested as hell," Whizzer pointed out. "And like I was trying to say earlier, you look.. well, you look sick. I'll leave it at that." He searched for a better word than 'awful' or 'like shit' again, but he couldn't think of a nice way to tell Marvin he didn't look great.
A look of confusion was plastered across Marvin's face that slowly turned into realization. "..Oh."
"Yeah. Oh. You're sick." Whizzer repeated. "I'm sure you don't feel great. You should call and tell them you'e not coming in today. I can stay home too, I'll take care of you."
Marvin's face grimaced at the idea and he shook his head. "No, no- I'm going to work. Its not that big of a deal." He pressed his mouth into his elbow, trying to stifle another cough now that he was all too aware of it.
God, Marvin was always like this. Prideful as hell. While Whizzer most definitely expected Marvin to reject the idea of not being completely in control for once in their lives that all seemed to revolve around him, that didn't mean he was any less disappointed. How typical of Marvin to turn down being taken care of to opt for working whilst feeling horrible.
"Oh, sorry, it seems I forgot that Whizzer is supposed to be the helpless sickly damsel and Marvin is there to take care of him," Whizzer exasperated whilst putting a hand to his forehead to mock feeling faint. "However do I keep mixing up the roles? I can't believe I was mistaken to think Marvin isn't always in charge!"
An audible sigh was heard. "What are you doing, Whizzer?" Marvin muttered.
"What am I doing? I wasn't given any direction as to what to do! I forgot I can hardly make my own decisions without assistance! I'm supposed to always consult Marvin first- he's the one in charge who tells me how to behave myself!" Like any good theatre kid, Whizzer dramatically added an unnecessary amount of emphasis on every word.
"Okay, fine, I get it."
Whizzer put one hand on his hip and other cupped around his ear. "Get what, darling?"
Inhaling sharply in annoyance, Marvin scowled at Whizzer. "I'm an asshole."
"And?"
"And what!? God, can you just tell me what you want me to say!?"
"First of all," Whizzer said matter-of-factly, "watch your tone. You've got some nerve being so rude. I don't know why I let it slide. Would it kill you to be nicer?"
Marvin snapped up as soon as he realized he could redirect the blame. "Oh, that's rich coming from you!" He shouted, jabbing an accusing finger at Whizzer. "You certainly didn't 'watch your tone' FIVE minutes ago when you decided to tell me I looked like shit! Don't you dare act like you can tell me what to do when you're guilty of the same thing!"
"So you're attacking me again? Yeah, that seems to be a pattern. Everytime you get called out you find a way to make everything my fault." Whizzer pointed out in annoyance.
"There also seems to be a pattern where it usually IS YOUR FAULT."
"JUST BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY SET YOU OFF AND YOU DECIDED TO MAKE A HUGE DEAL OUT OF IT DOES NOT MEAN IT WAS MY FAULT!"
"NOW YOU'RE TWISTING THE STORY, I NEVER-"
Suddenly, Marvin interupted his own yelling with cough that sounded disgustingly dry and hoarse. In an attempt to snap back and continue shouting, his breath hitched in his throat wrong in a way that made him double over into a coughing fit- rendering himself completely unable to do anything.
"Shit," he spat out between coughs, grasping his chest with his hand as he stumbled backward onto a wall.
Whizzer wanted to scoff, to sigh in frustration or perhaps shout at Marvin more while using this as proof of being right, but instead he felt himself grin. He was amused that Marvin had cut himself off by succumbing to his own sickness that Whizzer warned him about, but he also felt oddly endeared.
"You done?" Whizzer asked smugly once Marvin got a hold of himself and stopped his fit.
Without answering, Marvin simply gave Whizzer an annoyed look.
A soft laugh came from Whizzer. "God, you're... You're so damn stupid. And such a stuck-up, stubborn prick. You cause so many problems for us both. You know that, right, asshole?" He teased, his voice somewhere between irritated and sweet as he walked over to playfully run his fingers through Marvin's messy hair.
Marvin grabbed Whizzer's hand that was placed on his head- but he didn't swat at it or push it off. He just gently held it. "You are causing problems too," He pointed out with the face of an unpleased, bitter child.
"Okay, we both fuck everything up. I guess that's fair." Whizzer admitted.
For a second they fell silent as Whizzer continued gently playing with Marvin's hair, only his fingers moving as the base of his hand was held in place by Marvin's grasp.
It dawned upon Whizzer that Marvin was most definitely late by now, but he didn't want to move from where he was or let go of his stupid sick bastard of a boyfriend. An issue for later, he decided.
As if reading his mind, Marvin broke the extended lack of speech with a quiet remark. "I'm going to be late, aren't I? We've been at this for too long," he spoke with a weak laugh and a stutter on the last word as a cough slipped through his mouth. "I suppose... If I called in sick, I wouldn't get yelled at for being late. It only makes sense."
"And that's the.. only reason?" Whizzer inquired, withdrawing his hand to cross his arms over his chest.
"Alright, quit while you're ahead, youre not getting anymore of me," Marvin said with a chuckle, slipping his jacket off his shoulders and hanging it beside him.
"Fair enough. Now how about you sit down." Whizzer grabbed the sides of Marvin's shoulders and began guiding him past the front door and to the living room. He ignored his "It's just a cold, I can still walk" comment and sat him down, of course taking a moment to step back and simply marvel at the sight of him. Marvin wasn't particularly attractive, especially with how tired he looked and his stupid blue eyes that were watery with sickness, but the way he sat, hands tucked into his lap as he looked up at Whizzer, was already enough. Whizzer loved his pathetic excuse for a man.
Marvin's face slowly contorted into one of confusion as he seemed to notice that Whizzer was just staring at him. "What are you looking at?"
Whizzer didn't respond, only smiled at him, which made Marvin grin back like an idiot.
"Am I not getting something?" Marvin asked again, starting to laugh.
Marvin didn't get a lot of things. He almost never knew what he was doing. Niether of them did, Whizzer could admit. Maybe that's why they were always at each other's throats- because neither of them understood how to make this work. Despite hoping for the same outcome, they had different ideas of how to do it. And, of course, they both were convinced they were right.
They'll get through it one day, Whizzer thought. They had all the time in the world.