Chapter Text
1
Shane had expected a driver waiting to pick him up, holding a sign with his name on it. And to be fair, there was someone with a sign, but there was also Rose Landry waving giddily as he approached, seemingly oblivious to the attention she was drawing.
He couldn’t help but chuckle as he got close enough for her to leap onto him and hug him tightly. They rocked a bit on their feet, but Shane caught her with his one free arm. “Hi. I didn’t think you’d come to pick me up yourself.”
“Well, I wasn’t planning on it,” she explained, stepping back, “but then I was thinking about how much I missed you and I wanted to see you as soon as possible. But, oh my God, you’re finally here! Welcome to LA! How was the fight? Was it good?”
“Yeah, it was fine.”
“I’m so excited you actually came! I know the timing isn’t great because you’re getting ready for the season and all, but it means so much to me that you’re here!”
“Yeah, I’ve never really been to LA for anything besides hockey, so…”
“So, you’re super excited to go to a movie premiere, right?” Rose’s eyebrows shot up.
“Well, that’s still… complicated. I am excited to see you, too, though.” He glanced around at the crowds that were creeping steadily closer. “But, um… could we… go? Before we draw any more attention?”
“Oh, of course!” She took his arm. “Let’s get out of here!”
By the time they made it to the car, they had attracted quite a few followers, some of which seemed to be actual paparazzi, who were shouting for their attention. The driver took Shane’s bag and placed it in the trunk.
“Are you hungry?” Rose asked as the driver got behind the wheel. “Should we do lunch?”
“Yeah, lunch sounds good.”
“Okay, so we could go somewhere, or we could head back to my house and order in.”
“I think I like the second option.”
“Perfect!” She pulled out her phone. “I was hoping you’d say that. It gives us more time to talk.”
Shane rolled his eyes. Rose had suggested he come out and be her date to the premiere because she never had made it to visit over the summer. And he had wanted to see her, but the idea of going to something as big and exciting as a movie premiere sounded… overwhelming. So, it had taken a lot of convincing on her part. She claimed that the fact that he had a break in his schedule that lined up perfectly with the date had been a sign. And since it wasn’t actually one of her movies, just one she was invited to watch, her days wouldn’t be so crazy.
“Here.” She handed him her phone with the app already open. “Just add whatever you want, okay?”
Shane scrolled through the options. He only had a few days before he had to fly back to Montreal, but Rose had promised that she would keep her attention on him while he was visiting, especially if he wanted to talk about his summer at the cottage.
Shane did want to talk about the cottage. There really wasn’t anyone else he could talk about it with. His parents already knew too much about what had happened there, and he didn’t want to tell Hayden, because that could lead to an awkward confession he really didn’t want to make. It would be fun, he thought, to talk to her about it. She was the least judgmental person he had ever met, and, honestly, she was one of the biggest reasons that the cottage had even happened. So, beyond wanting to talk about it, he figured he owed it to her.
He just had to be careful. Because he had made a promise not to tell her one thing.
He handed her phone back and pulled his own from his pocket.
Hey, landed safely. On my way to Rose’s place.
Lily: Good.
Lily: Your flight was okay?
Yep, all good.
Lily: Call me later?
Maybe.
If I’m not too busy having so much fun with Rose.
Lily: 😭
Lily: You hate me!
🙄Don’t be a baby.
I will call you tonight.
Lily: 😍
“Who are you talking to?” Rose asked. Her voice had a teasing lilt to it and she leaned into Shane, who playfully shoved her away.
“My parents.” He said, and then also sent them a quick text so it wasn’t a complete lie.
“Liar. Anyone important?”
“Maybe.”
She gasped. “Shane Hollander, you’re blushing!”
Shane chuckled nervously because he knew he was. “I’ll tell you more when we get to your place.”
“Oh my gosh, this is so exciting! I can’t wait to hear it all.” Her expression suddenly grew serious, and she turned toward him, holding her hands up, palms out. “But, like, not everything. Don’t think that, like, you need to tell me everything. I totally respect your privacy, so no pressure.”
Shane felt a little bit of whiplash from the quick shift in tone. “Yeah, I know.”
“And I mean it. One hundred percent. If I become too much, you have to tell me and you can’t feel bad about telling me, okay?” She frowned slightly. “I’m not too much already, am I?”
Shane chuckled again. “No, no, you’re okay. I’m just, uh… I guess it’s just really great to see you again. We haven’t actually talked in a while, and I just,” he shrugged, “I really missed you.”
“Shane! You’re going to make me cry!”
They pulled up in front of a beautiful mansion at the end of a long drive. It was sharp and luxurious, built of steel and glass and concrete and Shane shielded his eyes against the glare off the large windows as he admired it. Rose chatted with the driver as he retrieved Shane’s bag from the trunk and Shane took it back with a smile and before following Rose into the house.
“The food should be here in, like, twenty minutes.” Rose explained, slipping off her shoes.
“Do you mind if I take that time to freshen up a bit?”
“Oh, of course you can, absolutely.” She waited while Shane removed his shoes as well. “I’ll give you a quick tour and show you your room.”
****
Shane gazed out of the window in Rose’s guest room at the view of the hills and city below before he took a picture. The house truly was beautiful and Shane had tried to ask Rose some questions about the construction and design, and to be fair, she had tried to answer them, but she had been mostly clueless. That was okay, though. She probably wouldn’t enjoy talking about it as much as he would anyway, but she was the kind of person who would stay engaged just for his sake.
His phone buzzed in his hand.
Lily: Nice view.
Lily: Is your real estate fetish really popping off? How hard is your dick?
My dick isn’t hard.
Lily: That’s sad.
Lily: I could help you with that.
You really want that when I’m hanging out with Rose?
Lily: Gross.
Shane rolled his eyes and slipped his phone back in his pocket before leaving the room. Honestly, Ilya was being better about this whole thing than Shane had expected. He hadn’t been happy to have him fly out to LA to spend time with Rose. He was still pretty insanely jealous considering that Shane was both crazy in love with him and also not sexually attracted to women. But he had told Shane he wasn’t going to tell him no. He wouldn’t try to forbid him to go because Shane was free to do what he wanted.
Except tell Rose Landry that his boyfriend was actually Ilya Rozanov.
Rose set aside her own phone and sat up a little straighter on the couch. “Hey. Better?”
“Yeah, thanks for letting me do that. I just—after flying…”
“No problem, I get it.” She said as he sat down beside her.
For a second, they just sat there in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but Shane couldn’t quite bring himself to make eye contact, at least not yet, so he kept his eyes on the ginger ale she had set out for him on the coffee table. He was ready to talk, but that didn’t mean that his heart wasn’t beating a little too hard in his chest.
“Um, so…” he cleared his throat, “I know you want to know some details about the cottage, but…”
“If you’re changed your mind, it’s totally cool.”
“No, it’s not that.” He shook his head and cleared his throat again. “It’s just that… he asked me not to tell you his name.”
“Oh.” Rose blinked a few times and then smiled as she shook her head, “Shane, that’s totally fine. I live in Hollywood. Do you know how many friends I have who have signed NDAs in relationships? So, first of all, not weird to me at all, and second, I’m totally not offended.”
“Good, but… there is a weird part.”
“A weird part?” Rose repeated skeptically back to him.
“Yeah, because I don’t think that I can tell you everything just saying ‘him’ the whole time, so instead, I’m going to call him Lily.” Shane winced. He knew it was dumb, and probably sounded crazy, but it was the best he could come up with, and it had sounded better in his head.
“Oh.” Rose just blinked at him again. “Okay…”
“I know it’s weird but—”
“Hey, I don’t have to understand it.” She held her hands up, palms out. “Just tell me about your time with Lily. How did it go? I feel like I only got the bare minimum of information and it’s killing me. You’ve got to give me something!”
Shane laughed. “I don’t even know where to start. I… I’m in love with him. Like, stupid in love with him. Like, want to spend the rest of my life with him in love with him.”
“Wow.” Rose reached for his hand and pulled it into her lap. “Way to just dive right in! Oh, my God, Shane! That’s so wonderful! And Lily knows…?”
“Yeah. He knows.” Shane was helpless to stop the stupid, probably love drunk smile from forming on his face, “He said it first.”
“Aw!”
“I think I probably have been for a while. In love with him, I mean. I just don’t know exactly when it started. I mean obviously not from the beginning, but somewhere along the way.”
“So, you’ve known him for a while, then?” Her eyes widened. “Oh my God, is Lily another hockey player?” Shane didn’t know exactly what his face did in response to her question, but the way she gasped told him that he wasn’t going to be talking his way out of it. “Oh my God, he is!”
“Rose—”
“I won’t pry farther, I swear. I thought that might be the case anyway. I mean, I know that you don’t really have a lot of friends—”
“Ouch.”
“I mean outside of hockey.” She squeezed his hand. “Anyway, back to the matter at hand. You also came out to your parents, right? And that was good?”
“Yeah, they were good about it. It was hard, and I had a couple panic attacks. But they were more shocked that—” Shane stopped himself. Rose knew hockey. If he mentioned anything about a rival player, he thought she would definitely figure it out. “—that it was Lily. They said they suspected that I might be gay anyway.”
“I knew it was going to be fine.”
“Well, yeah, but… I had wanted to tell them differently, so I freaked out. My dad saw Lily and I—”
“Oh my God, your dad caught you having sex?”
“No!” Shane shook his head, “No! No, we were just kissing! Making out. Which was bad enough. Jesus, Rose!”
“Okay, but can you blame me for thinking that? Are you going to tell me that you guys weren’t having some crazy sex the whole time you were there?”
Shane was saved from answering by the doorbell ringing.
****
“So,” Rose settled herself back on the couch, already digging into her takeout, “don’t think I just forgot where we were in our conversation. You had crazy, hot sex the whole time, right?”
“Jesus Christ, Rose.” Shane set down his food on the coffee table so he could hold his face in his hands.
“I wanna know!”
“I thought you said you weren’t going to pry.”
“I’m not going to pry about Lily’s identity. I’m totally going to pry about your sex life.”
“We’re eating!”
“So?”
Shane looked back at Rose over his shoulder. Her amused little smile never faltered as she stared back. “Yes.” He finally said.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, crazy hot sex! It’s always hot! Happy?”
Rose laughed and kicked her feet. “For you, absolutely! How crazy are we talking?”
Shane sat back with a sigh. “Rose…”
“Remember when I said I was going to make you regret being my friend?”
“I don’t regret having you as a friend.” He sighed. “Look, it wasn’t just sex all the time, okay? We just got to be together in a way that we had never had a chance to before. Every other time we were together, one of us always had to leave after, and while we were at the cottage we didn’t have to worry about that. We got to do normal things—we worked out together and swam and played video games and cooked and watched movies, so there was more to it all than just the sex.”
“Okay, if you really don’t want to talk about this, I understand—”
“But also he gave me a blowjob while I was on the phone.”
Shane wasn’t sure if the sound she made could be classified as a gasp, but that was probably the closest he could come to naming it. “Shane!”
“You asked.”
“Who were you talking to?” She definitely gasped this time. “Your parents?”
“Oh, my fucking God! Of course not!”
“Your coach, then?”
“Why is that where your brain goes?” He sat up and ran a hand back through his hair. “It was Hayden.”
“Your best friend?” Rose nearly dropped her food. “Shane…”
“You asked for this information.”
“How did he take that?”
“Well, I haven’t told him for obvious reasons, so we haven’t exactly had a conversation about it.” He picked up his food again.
“No way he was on the phone with you while you were getting a blowjob and he didn’t know what was happening.”
“I muted the phone.”
Rose threw her head back to laugh for a moment. “Okay, but still, I just refuse to believe he didn’t figure it out!”
Shane shrugged. “If he did, he’s choosing not to talk about it. He thought I was there by myself. He didn’t know that—” He had to stop himself from saying Ilya, “that Lily was there. He thought I was by myself.”
“Hayden doesn’t know about Lily?”
“No. Yes. I mean, he knows there is a Lily. He’s known about Lily forever because he and I used to room together on road trips and he would see me texting him. He would call him—” Shane stopped himself again. “Boston Lily” might also be too much of a giveaway. “He used to joke and always just say that Lily was a buddy, but he thinks that Lily was a woman.”
“Have you come out to him?”
Shane shook his head. “No. I mean, not yet. I’m going to. I’m planning to come out to him next. I think it’ll be a little hard for him to process at first, but I think it will be okay. He’s been trying to set me up with different women for years, so I think my resistance to that will suddenly make sense, you know?”
Rose ate a few more bites of her lunch, but he could tell she was thinking hard about something by the way her brow creased as she chewed. “Hayden knows about Lily… because you used to room together… how long has there been a Lily?”
“We met in 2008.”
She almost dropped her food again. “Shane, that was almost ten years ago!”
Shane shrugged. “We didn’t hook up for the first time until a couple years after that. It was 2010, I think.” He didn’t think. He knew, but he thought it was an innocent enough lie.
“So, while you and I were together—”
“No.” He cut her off quickly. “When we were together it was just us. Things with—Lily have always been complicated. Or at least, I mean, before it was. Now it’s good, but before, even when you and I were together, Lily and I weren’t serious.”
“So, did you…” Rose moved her food around in her container for a moment before she looked up at Shane again, “ever think about Lily while we were together?”
“Rose.”
“I’m sorry. That wasn’t a fair question. I wasn’t asking because I’m jealous or anything like that. And obviously, I already know the answer. You told me you’re madly in love with him.”
“I hadn’t figured that part out yet when you and I were together, but… I was starting to.”
Rose smiled genuinely and took his hand again. “Then I’m glad I could help you.”
“You helped with a lot of this. After our conversation, after I came out to you… You helped me so much because I don’t know if I’d be here right now if we hadn’t talked. I know that sounds dramatic, but… you made me face a part of myself that I didn’t want to face and you did it in such a kind way. You were so understanding and that whole thing was what gave me the confidence I needed to even ask Lily to come to the cottage in the first place. I didn’t decide to invite him right then and there or anything, but everything that happened after that night… it set me in the right direction.”
“Oh, Shane.” Rose’s eyes were shining with tears as she sat forward so she could set her food down. “Is that really how you feel?”
“Of course.” Shane set down his food as well. He could feel his own tears forming. “It was hard, but you were so gentle with me, and you didn’t have to be, and I owe you so much.”
“You don’t owe me anything.” Rose hugged him tightly and Shane squeezed her back. “And I mean it. I love you so much, Shane Hollander! You’re amazing and I’m so proud of you!”
“I love you, too.”
“Lily is so lucky to have you!”
“I want you to meet him someday, when he’s ready.”
“Absolutely!”
“It might be a while, though—”
“I can wait.”
“Because he’s so jealous of you.”
Rose pulled away. “He’s jealous of me?”
“I don’t quite get it either.”
“What exactly is he jealous of? Because you never let me give you a blowjob while you were on the phone with your best friend!”
“Stop it.”
“You told him that the sex stuff wasn’t good, right?”
“Yes.”
“Because it was bad. I mean, I know I told you it was okay because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but now it sounds like you’re doing just fine in that department, so I don’t feel bad saying it was bad.”
Shane chuckled as he picked up his food. “You know, I thought we were having a moment, and you ruined it.”
“Do you want me to call him right now and personally tell him how terrible it was?”
“No fucking way.” He shook his head. “That will not be happening.”
“Okay. I’ll just wait to tell him when I meet him in person.”
“I’m starting to think that maybe I don’t want the two of you to meet anymore.”
“Well, we have to meet eventually because I’m going to be the maid of honor in your wedding.” She sat back with her food again.
Shane laughed, looking back at her over his shoulder. “Who said anything about you being a bridesmaid?”
“Who said anything about a wedding?” Rose raised her brow at him and gave him a smug smile in the silence that followed.
“I’m going back home to Montreal. I don’t need this abuse.”
Rose laughed. “You love it. Admit it: you missed having me to hang out with.”
“Yeah.” Shane smiled. “I did, actually.”